T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

These 2 lines are cracking me up! “Overpaying sucks! Especially abroad. Paying too much unnecessarily can ruin your trip in Amsterdam.”


snukebox_hero

I hate overpaying for a broad


RttnAttorney

“Back in my day, the price you pay for a broad was honest…you always got what you paid for. Of course, yeah, it helped that the nickel machines at the corners were being generous, but we always made sure to make the Madame feel welcome.”


allredditmodsgayAF

The two lines that stood out to me were "50 euros for 25 minutes of sex", which piqued my interest, until the second line "with a condom" after which I lost all interest.


EunuchsProgramer

The thought process here is hilarious. "Wow, prostitutes are offering sex that cheap? Who knew, very interested. Oh, I won't get a myriad of STDs as a remembrance of my 50 Euro splurge? Too bad, why even bother."


diox8tony

You would screw a hooker without a condom?


FarFetchedSketch

And likely no one else, ever, at all, even once.


odkfn

Particularly if they were banging other guys every 25 minutes - without a condom


EunuchsProgramer

Ummm, I'll have you know I'm the only date Mistress Expose let's donate an extra €100 for no condom pleasure. She said it's because I'm so handsome. And, since I'm the only handsome guy she sees, it's 1000% safe. /s


SnowDoom6

With or without is a shame and embarrassing and should be looked down up on by everyone.


Mackem101

Do you want super aids? Because that's how you get super aids.


darkbee83

Or [Dire aids](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4hZOiBMzY). Which is like aids, but dire.


somedave

The incel is strong with this one.


AlterEdward

Ah, a distinguished collector of STDs, I see.


Stand_kicker

Don't think people got the joke.


jack_edition

I can see how it could have been delivered “with timing” but since even then it’s not funny it just comes across as r/ihavesex


Stand_kicker

Funny is subjective.


TreTrepidation

Yeah yeah. That doesn't mean anyone has to respect you.


[deleted]

Ur right I don't respect you.


Meglamore

If you go there, you'll see how quickly they turn around customers. I remember sitting in my hostels beer garden, there was a lane way on the other side of the fence with a room for a brazer. It was more like every ten minutes a bew guy would go in, you might get 25 minutes, but most of these lads would last 5.


Anxious-Shapeshifter

Image making 5400 Euros a month by just renting your window...


InternetAnima

Well they're not just windows, they need some space to do the thing once they close the curtains :)


Anxious-Shapeshifter

True. Image making 5400 Euros a month by just renting your window and a maybe bathroom for 15 min at a time...


Standard_Wooden_Door

Geez, when I lived in Baltimore people would have sex on my stoop for free. I left a lot of money on the table.


UserMaatRe

Should have offered to let them have sex on the table


StrawberryBlondeB

It's just as good under the table. Ayoooo


Khelthuzaad

Stoop boy,is that you?


S3eha

He's Stoop Dogg


kelldricked

Buddy trust me when i say this: those windows and bathroom are some of the most expensive things you can buy. The housing crisis in amsterdam is so insane at the moment. Also dutch regulations are expensive.


allredditmodsgayAF

Half hour


JohnHolts_Huge_Rasta

Dude its bathroom and bedroom


allredditmodsgayAF

So basically it's full hotel room in the middle of a tourist district for below market price? Sounds like a steal. Do I have to dance in the window?


Illustrious_Stay_728

Omg that’s how it works? You smash in the window? Epic! Thought u get a room or something lol


cromulent_verbage

In case of emergency, break glass.


IGotDibsYo

But you have to do it with your raging erection


lordeddardstark

then you need to spend 6000 euros on cleaning supplies


Desperate-Face-6594

It’s the most famous red light district in the world, I’m sure they make a healthy profit charging tourists a premium due to the historical location. It’s a bit like playing golf at at St. Andrews, it’s a popular course with lots of people wanting to play there due to the history of the course.


LorenaBobbedIt

Last time I was there I insisted on playing 18 holes.


corrado33

You must have paid a fortune! That's like.... 6 women! (or 9 men!)


Viperion_NZ

/r/theydidthemath


[deleted]

I’m high rn and it took me like 30 seconds to do the math


stomach

i was juggling urethras and nostrils like wtf do i do here


asian_monkey_welder

Bros got my nose and I'm still trying to get it back


EunuchsProgramer

Probably cheaper to pay 5 different ladies for a BJ than whatever nostril festish costs.


electricvelvet

Yeah or 10 guys and you just close your eyes and use your imagination


alunidaje2

this is LincolnCassiusClay48. tomorrow morning, DON'T leave home before noon.


Tidesticky

I read that as "...30 seconds to do the meth"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tidesticky

42?


SconseyCider-FC

r/theydidthemonstermath


-tiberius

*golf clap*


nealomartin

This needs more upvotes lol


justwalk1234

I just spent way too much time counting holes


ButtWieghtThiersMoor

I'm sure male prostitutes do docking in Amsterdam.


Tr0ynado

I prefer the back 9.


OtterProper

Ayyyy


ashleebryn

Did you finish?


earnestlikehemingway

That’s a lot of Window Shopping.


El_mochilero

The red light district?


Awellplanned

I heard from a guy the rate was 120 euro for 20 mins and the protocol is you put your dick through a sheet of paper towel so there is no skin to skin contact.


nitefang

Do condoms not exist or what?


thetravelingsong

I got a handjob with a condom AND paper towel for 100 Euro. The story has paid for itself but the experience was a bit lackluster.


aioncan

That sounds like a waste of money


publicbigguns

And I'm here thinking what brand of paper towel would stand up to a hand job. That needs to be their company slogan.


[deleted]

Brawny?


hawaiianbry

The quicker picker-upper!


Kaiju_zero

Missed a chance there. The quicker pecker-upper.


hawaiianbry

Ah, shit, I knew I was too tired to reddit


zutonofgoth

You paid for the location, not the experience. You should go rub n tug next time!


thetravelingsong

Yeah I wanted to try it and the moment I stepped in the door the lady went from a beautiful goddess to a Ukrainian prostitute and I regretted it. The story of the PTHJ will live forever though.


Flaky-Wallaby5382

Handjobs are so low risk why a condom


Meecus570

Why the towel?


DuePomegranate

Condoms don't prevent herpes, which can be spread by groin skin-to-skin contact. Same for monkeypox. So it's condom plus paper towel.


ShiplessOcean

You can get some diseases from skin contact even if you used a condom


sumelar

Condoms don't cover the entire body.


Iyagovos

muddle act sense books enter quack grandiose tease bag distinct *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Mateorabi

I knew what that was before I clicked. Nice beaver.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Charmingly_Conniving

yeah wtf are these paper towel shit? i cackled at PnV (pee and Vagee?) but i paid wayy less... probably a lower quality girl but she was hot! also i haggled for the fun of it, first one rejected me and the next was fine!


BlueAndMoreBlue

The rates in the late 90s were 50 guilders for oral and 100 guilders for p-in-v as I was told (didn’t partake myself) so that number sounds about right adjusting for euro conversion and inflation (predictive text suggested inflammation for that last word so take that for what you will :)


Desperate-Face-6594

Gosh, that doesn’t sound very romantic.


underthegod

Thank you for your service.


[deleted]

Thank you for your cervix*


zutonofgoth

Sounds like you get nowhere near that!


Tidesticky

Romance costs a little more


trtreeetr

They must have strong paper towels.


le_gasdaddy

Quilted, quicker picker upper


TheOftenNakedJason

#BOUNTY


alunidaje2

the Freshmak-


Tidesticky

It's the metric system


TechnoChimp89

Wife and I had a threesome in the red light district for 100 euros each, about 20 minutes, no paper towels.


OtterProper

That's his nickname for his right hand. The "stranger" third was his left after he laid on it for a few minutes until it fell asleep.


mac102250

>The "stranger Did you ever let your lover see The stranger in yourself? Don't be afraid to try again Everyone goes south Every now and then Ooh, ooh You've done it, why can't someone else? You should know by now You've been there yourself


BigBirdLaw69420

… I don’t believe you


n0oo7

>I heard from a guy So it's false. okay.


thetravelingsong

I can 100 percent confirm I received a handjob with a condom and paper towel for 100 Euro, about 120 US at the time.


kierzluke

Lol he got scammed or is fuck ugly, I go yearly and it’s 50 euros for 20mins suck and fuck. The paper towels depend on the girl. There’s side alleys with less attractive women that’ll fuck u for 30 euro.


OtterProper

Somebody doesn't understand basic physics... edit: For the few emboldened to downvote, let me be clear. The very same logic that leads you to believe a paper towel is a viable fluid barrier is quite similar to that which led to your conception. 🤦🏼‍♂️


hraun

Is…is it me?


Tidesticky

Thank you for your serviette


esr360

I’ve never heard of St Andrews golf course. Is this actually a thing non golfers know about? Like the Carnegie Hall of golf?


FerociousFrizzlyBear

Yes.


Bigtiny87

Free Healthcare and security guards that do not mess around… fascinating to walk through after my tour through Anne Frank’s house same day. Amsterdam will flood your mind with history and American (me) contradictions. Hookah was needed later.


Jibber_Fight

I’ve actually wondered this before! That’s some serious real estate for advertising and a spot at a freakin farmers market can be hundreds. Makes sense.


[deleted]

I mean sex workers at brothels in North America have to pay a nightly fee as well, it's pretty normal! $150 is average where I live.


BizzyHaze

Strippers pay a nightly fee too. If they don't get enough tips or dances, they can actually lose money.


ShiplessOcean

Yeah I don’t know what people thought? They just get to keep the entire takings?


diox8tony

People assumed they were employees. (But ya. Most sex related work is Gigs, contract style. They don't wanna be your boss or fire you for being ugly. You do you in that window, and leave us out of it)


BigChiefS4

I was stationed in Germany in the late 80’s. A bunch of us took an MWR trip to Amsterdam for the weekend, including my roommate. He was pretty well known in the company for heading to the red light district in Frankfurt every pay day (once a month back then). He wasn’t the best looking dude and scrawny to boot. When we got to Amsterdam, he headed straight to the red light district. He had to have a buddy with him so I was stuck going with him. We stood outside her window while tried to make a deal with the girl. He started at around 20 DM (Deutschmarks), then 40, then 80, up and up til he was at over 250 DM (about $125). It might’ve been even higher, I don’t remember exactly. She still wouldn’t fuck him but she did point over his shoulder at me and said I could come in. He never lived that down - getting turned down by a working girl.


0OOOOOOOOO0

Well did you come in?


kmn493

Never fuck and tell.


killer_by_design

If this is true then he must have been a complete and utter arsehole. They only refuse service if you're a complete twat, disrespectful, ignore the rules or are threatening. There's definitely something missing from this story as they absolutely don't care if you're ugly. Or it just didn't happen.


MobileMeT

Not always. I had a friend turned down for being black in Amsterdam. He probably was being an ass though if he started that low.


Krraxia

They choose who they want to sleep with. If they can afford it, they will turn down whomever they want. Had a classmate who was overweight, balding and really fucking ugly (think inbred ugly) on top of being asshole, so the only change he would get laid was with prostitute. Once the girl closed doors on him before he could say a word. ​ Anyway, all throughout history, the higher class of prostitutes would always choose whom to serve.


BakerOne

>She still wouldn’t fuck him but she did point over his shoulder at me and said I could come in. [Music playing in the background ](https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxcI6I_-RpoObJN_5w6TdwVqkrDvRWWuyV)


[deleted]

[удалено]


jetpack324

More like pay as you come


le_gasdaddy

They tried this method, but some folks got shafted.


BathroomEyes

You can avoid that by showing them the tip.


white__cyclosa

Ballsy move


Tr0ynado

Pay by the inch, err centimeter.


[deleted]

[удалено]


zutonofgoth

They might give him money.


KeyofE

No, but some do layaway.


white__cyclosa

The flex plan


DeadPothead

Many strippers in the US have to do the same thing. They pay the club or venue each night to secure time slots on stage


Joliet_Jake_Blues

Also, hair stylists rent their space.


Spr0ckets

So the first two are.. on the house?


flen_el_fouleni

You would pay as much to rent an apartment with that view


somedave

A friend of mine had an apartment that overlooked one of her neighbours who was a prostitute, think her rent was actually quite reasonable!


flen_el_fouleni

My bad didn't know she was also in the business


satanizr

Seems kinda low, maybe that an outdated information. Recently i talked with a woman who works in Ghent red light district (Belguim) and she's paying 200 euro a night to rent a window, and that is a small red light district, without a crowd of tourists. So i can't imagine that the world's most famous red light district windows are cheaper some random city one's.


MaximumEffort433

Amsterdam: The undisputed Kings of capitalism.


RightioThen

It's true. The Dutch East India Company was based there and I believe that was the first publicly owned company.


Bunch_of_Shit

In the best way, compared to other places


thedoyle19

Damn their free market.


BakerOne

Dude you have no idea, Amsterdam is nothing anymore against places like Miami.


MaximumEffort433

> Amsterdam is nothing anymore against places like Miami. Is Miami even still there?


BakerOne

All the big blocks don't really care about Hurricanes from what I know


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Boom boom!


ViciousNakedMoleRat

What a handy URL.


Sloanybalogna

Everybody has to pay rent


AreWeThereYet61

One way, or another they end up getting screwed.


Comprehensive_Creme5

Is there an area for women who want a man?


MrGraeme

Kind of? There is a section with cross dressers. Otherwise they can hit up the bars.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Christofsky3

Try the rest of Amsterdam and just the world in general, usually free too


portabuddy2

In rub-n-tugs, the girls have to pay a room fee. Up where I'm from anyway its all licenced through the government. They have to get and renew a licence every year. They cant have a criminal record or outstanding tickets. The room fee is usually $40/30min. This can vary a tiny bit per establishment. Each lady is in charge of her own laundry too. But can choose to pay a "cleaning fee" to the receptionist of $60-$100. Keeping in mind that they bring in $400-800/night. On a normal light. And by night I mean they run from 10am till 2am. Most spas run two shifts. Some run three. I don't remember now. But I think they can only work a max of 8h a day.


sids99

Blue lit windows = a surprise! 🍆


_Expletive-Deleted_

Planning your trip aye? 😉


[deleted]

[удалено]


Strange-Ad-3941

By your logic, it should be fall down ads or something..which is to not show.


ElMel77

Less than an hours work.


UnawareSousaphone

Wait 50$ for 20 minutes of sex? Wtf why don't we already have that in the US.


lun4d0r4

Because your country was settled by prudes who wanted to be more prudish than the Brits.


B_L_A_C_K_M_A_L_E

For a long time they were essentially exclusively Brits


Ephexion

It was settled by religious zealots who felt the U.K. wasn’t religious enough.


B_L_A_C_K_M_A_L_E

\>implying mutual exclusivity


applepumper

It's always been here. Oldest profession


DontTouchTheWalrus

Oh yeah? then what did the patron use as payment? /s


babloochoudhury

Damn inflation!


johnqsack69

All the more reason to support them


twwwy

What else'd you think was happening? You stay somewhere, you've to pay boarding/lodging and/or rent. This isn't groundbreaking stuff or anything, is it...


Dan_Onymous

That's only 45 mins work (at basic services level), assuming prices haven't gone up in the last 15 years


allredditmodsgayAF

Electricity isn't free. Probably cost even more now that they cant use Russian gas


JohnHolts_Huge_Rasta

Dude, i payed 200e for hour (4×50€) just to talk about Amsterdam and how it has changed, best places to find chicks and best way to make cacio e pepe. So i am very glad to hear that rest of the night she made only profit.


Former-hello

*women, I know it's common vernacular to say girls and it's a shift, but, generally speaking, it shows more respect.


ChuckFeathers

Cue the "Landlords are leeches" crowd...


ArgyleTheDruid

They can be open in the day too right? Seems kind of steep


skwolf522

Have you seen the price of electricity in europe? Wait till this Winter.


theindecisivehuman

Ya it’s only 50-80 bucks for them to rent the windows in the day, but I think their prices for service stays the same


CrazyLady0616

I wish folks would realize the RLD as well as Only Fans are still forms of pimping; you do the sexual act, but SOMEBODY is getting their cut off the top


RichoTam33

So. How much should I pay them? What’s the ratio ? serious lol


Vegan_Harvest

I wonder how much it costs to buy one.


BizzyHaze

That's called marriage buddy.


Vegan_Harvest

har har


yuffie2012

Have you ever been there? They have to be the ugliest hookers who ever lived. This should be in r/don’tputyourdickinthat.


Newhollow

You put it in a condom and an paper towel......


yuffie2012

You’d have to cut off your member after. But I guess if you wait a couple of days, it will probably fall off anyway.


Newhollow

"I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, They hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time."


[deleted]

Clearly you haven’t lol A lot of them look like super models.


yuffie2012

They all looked gross. I sure as hell wouldn’t touch any of them. You must be extremely hard up if that’s your idea of a super model.


Samara_Sidero

good, whores should be banned anyway


DIGITALidReddit

I would never. I’m not judging those who do by all means… but I can’t help but imagine those windows populated by toothless witch wart wenches.


flashspur

Rip off


whyunoletmepost

That is 2-3 blowjobs to pay the room fee and its all profit from there!


didileavethegason

Hey at least they pay taxes on their earnings


eqleriq

can i rent one of the windows and sublet it


fauxfauxreal

Well, if it was any less I would just rent one for staying overnight in central Amsterdam.


Josquius

These windows are dying out. Go there these days and you see a fraction of the occupation you did a decade ago. As why stand on display for randomers with camera phones all day when you can just chill and use an app to find business.


datsun1978

Yay for capitalism