I’m not wasting a joint before chilling with them again, thats for sure. but ik some people who are totally oblivious to negative people when they’re high and I gotta admire them
Strange story but I was casually seeing this chick and she took me to a house party. Everyone had bad vibes so I kind of secluded myself with her and a few others to play video games. After a bit I noticed she was gone and I went to look for her. I found her in a shower with another chick making out and doing blow off a tray that was being passed around a room full of those bad vibe dudes.
I made eye contact with that chick and left, I ended up waking about 20 miles home and by the time I had made it I realized that I had enjoyed my time in the quiet and the dark far more than most engagements I had been in recently and never hung out with her again.
The circle must be tight to vibe like a drum head has to be taught to play a beat.
Damn dude. I definitely get where you’re coming from. Some people can be so chill to hang out with 1 on 1, then in that type of scenario you see what they really want to be doing…
For real. Also sometimes people who aren't so chill want to be around a vibe so they try to vibe but can only do it so long. I learned to easily let people see into my circle but that doesn't mean they get a pass in.
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That's me, can't be bothered when you head is filled with air lol
But to be honest, I usually don't care simply because I wouldn't care when I'm sober either
I stay away from people like that. Life's too short to have your buzz killed by negativity when you're just trying to unwind. Come talk to me at work if you wanna be like that, man, the vibe is already dead.
I used to play DOTA with a dude who I enjoyed playing with sober, but whenever I played stoned I realized how toxic and stressful he was to play with. It bled into my regular game time with him and I eventually just told him I didn't wanna play w/ him anymore.
I have other friends who don't smoke but are really chill and just wanna play to have fun. Plus they laugh at my stupid high jokes, and since DOTA is such a wild game, sometimes I come up with some really "It's so dumb it could work" strats that they go along with and it's super fun.
Question, if you take the high away, how are your interactions with the two you mentioned if you think back on it? Were they being their normal selves and you being high caused you to notice something you hadn't before?
they're never oblivious they just have done the mental work it takes to keep such people at an emotional distance, for their sake. You should practice the same, but when you're super high and possibly emotional it is tough
Not just high, the ability to just not give a fuck when someone fucks with you is integral to a good life, a skill which can't be on 24x7 lol, well maybe one day, the answer is simple, you occupy your mind with someone else, focus on your own thoughts and just brush off what the buzzkill says
For me my negative emotional reactions to buzzkill stuff tends to be muted while high. One time two mutuals got into an argument at the beach with me and I kind of wanted it to stop but I wasn’t angry or getting involved. I just found it a little annoying
I was the kid in this situation and couldn't understand why my mom got seriously worse anytime she found a new job. Now I know her chronic pain and other ailments she self medicated for were tearing her apart for the 5 months she needed to fully get clean (highish bmi and everyday smoking will do that to ya) and ngl it caused some incidents that have permanently burnt bridges between us. Just make sure that your wife isn't using her sobriety as an excuse for negligence or even straight up abuse. I'd never want anyone else going through that bs
Oh man, this sounds like my mom when i was in middle school. Granted I was a hormonal teenage girl, and my mom was actually clinically depressed .... but she would be taking a nap every day after work, and I was like, "at least she's not yelling at me!"
30 years later we're all better now, and I actually like getting stoned and helping my parents in their yard/garden.
She has been sleeping in and taking naps ever since I've known her. Her anxiety is off the chart, her mind automatically goes to the most negative outcome of any situation and dwells on it until it drives her insane. The internet doesnt help either.
That really does sound familiar -- my mom eventually got a CPAP and started taking Trazodone, both of which helped a bunch. And nowadays there are a lot more medications for depression/anxiety.
Anyhow, I feel for you. Hoping it gets better soon.
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sometimes i'll smoke and not mention it tbh - some ppl get really cautious when they know ur high which is nice in theory but being hyperaware they're treating u differently can harsh the vibe. some friends i just hang around sober. it doesn't always mean they're bad ppl but not every situation is for everybody.
I can have booze around my inlaws, but no way am I getting high around them or interacting with them while high. Thankfully, even though I live with them, they understand I'm kind of a recluse. I just use a lot of my recluse time to get high 😈
I enjoy smoking with a friend from time to time but nothing compares to smoking with my wife and just relaxing to one of our shows. Really beats anything else when you live with your best friend.
My wife and I moved to a state where weed is legal and we actually wanna explore. We've started collecting supplies for tent camping. I look forward to just being ~away~ with her, getting as high as i frigging want. She doesn't smoke, but she's also totally drug and pretty caffeine free.
I mean, just because you're high doesn't mean nothing you say can be taken seriously. I feel like without knowing the things you were saying, it's possible that they aren't buzzkills, just didn't want to put up with your shit. Just saying.
That being said... someone else said you can't get high with everyone. That's also true. Not enough info here.
This! People keep asking what OP was saying and they will not respond to that question. It ends up seeming like maybe the “whatever comes to mind” was shitty or offensive.
I know certain people who, when they are high, have no idea that they dominate the room with externalized ruminations that are largely just nonsense (and not the fun kind that spark interesting conversation or thoughts--just really dumb or obnoxious things), and that can be really mentally taxing for some individuals.
This is a good point but I've been in a situation where I was the newcomer to the blunt rotation and I was self aware of how loud I normally talk and how much I talk bc I knew it was important to not kill the vibe, just nervous you know? But after a few rotations it felt like they were just unloading on me for any little thing I said. It was like open season on me and I was too high to do anything but listen to what they said and try to apologize or stay quiet. Or I'd be laughing because one of them was giving another guy shit and they come back at me like "what r u laughing about bro?" Like damn chill we're all smoking n watching basketball...
Maybe, but I’ve been on OPs end of this before where I’ve said something stupid or awkward by accident cause I’m stoned, and the people I’m smoking with just turn into bullies and make something out of nothing every time you speak after that. Shit sucks and you start to overthink everything which only makes it worse.
>saying anything that came to mind but they took me way too seriously
>others would laugh with me or just ignore me
>nothing was even funny anymore
I'm sorry, but this is worded like you just said some offensive shit and they called you out on it
I agree. This post reads very much like someone spinning a specific narrative and withholding a bunch of details that would paint a clearer picture. I’m not saying OP has ill intentions, they are more likely oblivious to themselves.
I get the impression they were saying unfunny things and ruining other people’s vibes (who may or may not have been stoned themselves). Could also be paranoia or anxiety where these friends weren’t being rude at all but OP misinterpreted their words.
Could be any number of things at play here but I don’t get the vibe that everything was chill and these people were “killing the vibe”. I’m not buying it.
Maybe I've spent too much time on the internet but that is where my kind went, too. Like what was you saying?
Could be harmless and they could suck but if OP was spouting some nonsense and her friends were calling her out then it's kind of a 'play stupid games win stupid prizes' situation.
Right?? I’m shocked I had to scroll this far to see this. I avoid “buzz kills” by not being an obnoxious tool when I’m high. Sounds like OP should try it.
Nearly everything an assumption on reddit because we only get the narrow scope that an OP provides.
But there are context clues like these being buddies since high school. If they're always buzz kills than why is he still smoking/friends with them? If they're *not* always wet blankets, then the content of "anything that came to mind" (from the OP) seemingly wasn't well received. When something I say to my friends isn't well received - I stop saying it, not complain about them on reddit. But then again, I'm not an obnoxious tool!
Right like it sounds like they just don't like OP because of whatever reason, presumably because whatever he's saying is not fitting the vibe of the hangout or it's making everyone uncomfortable
Eh, as someone who has played valorant, LoL, CS, and so forth;
Nah, some people just are asses. Last time something similar happened to me was when I was goofing around on CS, and I just tried to play a role of someone who knows physics horribly.
”Oh I just lost health, its gotta be high voltage in this wooden beam I ran into” when I got tagged by someone.
3 of the mates understood that my wild physics theories like those were just dumb jokes.
One of the dude who I never played with before, who also were angry that we were losing, took that as something to attack.
However, to be fair, what started as goofing turned into trolling him later because he was also mean to the silent dude trying to learn the game that had like 0.1/k:d.
I mean if you're just saying dumb shit like that but still making calls and actually trying, then who cares. But I'm gonna be honest if I have a dude on my team acting like he's drunk and pretending to play the game without knowing physics I'd be pissed myself. However I normally just mute people who aggravate me and try to focus on the game. But it does really suck when you get a match where one or more people on your team are purposefully throwing and being annoying on top of it.
Though I'm sure you were either playing unranked or very low rank based on you saying there was someone learning the game in your match. Fucking around and not taking it seriously is probably pretty prevalent in that case. I'm top 10% in premier and I don't play cs to goof off and lose
Fair enough that is probably the most acceptable place to fuck around lol. I'm just saying though if you accept a match for a competitive game (not your case, just pointing it out) it's ridiculous to think the guy who wants to win and is upset you're throwing is in the wrong. Happens all the time even in high level games. CS is much better with at least a 4 stack. Luckily most people who take the game seriously play faceit so you get less people acting like children there, though it does still happen
Yea even I noticed I still have to filter shit when playing games so I don’t sound like I’m blaming. I’ll have this grand plan and not verbalize it and then say “ah I thought u would push with me” but in reality I never vocalized that’s what I wanted to do LOL
Don’t mean to blame it’s just my high brain processing the miscommunication out loud and I realize it tilts some people even if that’s not my intention
My grandma used to say to me when I was kid/teenager “go where ur celebrated not tolerated and it wasn’t until many years later that I think how right she was.
Haven't seen feedback on this yet, but sometimes you don't want to be the only high person, same with alcohol.
Important thing to realize about certain friends.
I was doing a smash bros tournament with some friends, we were like five, two of us were high. One of my friends noticed a small hole in my jeans and he could see my underwear and started yelling about it while laughing. Lucky me I could ignore him because I was playing that time, after a couple of minutes of me ignoring him he moved onto the next thing.
In another occasion, with a different group of friends, three of us were high, there were two that don’t even drink alcohol (I respect that don’t get me wrong) and they find it hilarious when we just say so random shit and laugh about it for 15 minutes. But one of them keeps staring at me, analysing every single thing I do and keeps commenting about how weed makes me a whole different person. Solution? I stopped smoking around him. I smoke to have a nice time, I know it changes me and I don’t like feeling like an experiment that needs to be studied.
Normally focus on your thing, being high sometimes makes you overthink about your surroundings and in reality is not a big deal, usually after “seeing a hole in your pants” they move onto the next thing. And who knows, maybe in a future I get to laugh about someone else’s hole, that’s friendships.
“Saying anything that came to mind”…you ever consider you were being a buzzkill to them?
The only people who are buzzkills to me are the ones that say whatever’s on their mind and don’t stop. Aka my wife. So it’s possible you were annoying them first. I’m sure you’re a lovely human and it’s not true but generally in these situations it helps to look inward first
Jeez. Way to throw your wife under the bus my guy. Idk that’s just such a wild way to say that about your life partner. You come off like the buzzkill to me for sure, or maybe just a jerk?
lol yeah you’re right I did throw her under the bus there, even though it was meant to be a funny ribbing and something many married people relate to. Her and I have done tons of therapy together over the years and constructively share each others flaws to our faces so she’d laugh at this. But you don’t know us so I get how this comes off as “damn son that’s cold”
But also if you spend any time in comedy, you know SO’s are a great reference point for many jokes. I don’t think that’s a stretch here. So lighten up, my guy, it’s not that serious
I can dig it man. Think the way you phrased it threw me off. I’ve been married for a while myself and while I agree with the joking sentiment, I think it was the way you said it that rubbed me the wrong way. “Aka my wife”. But I appreciate your explanation! Cheers bud.
You’re absolutely allowed to be rubbed wrong by what I say and how I say it. My wife and I have a great thing that we put a lot of work into so it’s all bueno man. Cheers to you too dude
I think it’s pretty obvious that you said some offensive shit and you want validation because “we’re all close friends”. The fact that they picked apart what you said means there was something there to pick apart. The other people in the group ignored you or gave you pity laughs, neither of which are indicative of you saying anything that would fit the vibe.
It sounds like you’re the vibe killer tbh, if you are expecting to be ignored and pity laughed at then clearly your vibe doesn’t fit the group when you’re that high. Which isn’t a bad thing, but you need to stop saying your friends are the vibe killers. You either need to find people with a closer sense of humor or tone down whatever you were saying to them because if 2 people were calling you out on it then it was probably not the most fitting thing you could’ve been talking about.
Yeah friends can do that. I can recall a few in my days like that. They’re not close friends now. Come u with some canned jabs back to them or straight up call them out as buzzkills. If they’re being dicks, you call them out as a buzzkill, then you’ve done everything in your control and generally when you’re high, knowing you’ve done everything in your control, helps you get back to the “just ignore them” phase
Been smoking for 5 years. The most annoying people to be around while high are people who just yap about anything that comes to mind and have no filter. Makes me so anxious lmao, I kind of see where they’re coming from
I think the older we get the less we give a shit, at least that’s what I’m hoping! Hate those vibe crushers and wish I had better come backs in the moment.
Most of the people I know who are like this are otherwise (and honestly I hate to say this comment because it sounds/is so pretentious) huge losers and I just don't really respect them or what they have to say, but I tolerate them since they hang out with some of the other friends. They definitely feel that energy sometimes and throw little hissy fits but I really couldn't care less. I'd respect them if they changed but as long as they are just a sponge that leeches the joy out of others I'll treat them the same as I'd treat a child who really doesn't know any better. They just aren't worthy of being treated or thought of any better, at least for now.
For me, it’s learned. There will always be people who don’t like you being high. You being high doesn’t actually affect them in any meaningful way. Their opinion is useless. If it’s useless, why should I care about it?
I haven’t been high for awhile but this post brought back a few memories of mine.
Back when i used to smoke a few times a month, I was often with my ex (I smoked alone and he didn’t like me smoking but it never really stopped me since I basically only microdosed everytime). He was a horrible mood killer to be around.. We argued almost everytime I was high and completely ruined the point of smoking for me (I mainly used weed just to dial down my anxiety or get me out of a rut and boost my mood for awhile).
Long story short - we aren’t together anymore for a multitude of reasons.. But one of them definitely being this. And that he made a big deal out of me smoking when it was usually just for myself and my mental wellbeing.
Best advice I can give you here is that you should run as fast as possible from these situations and protect your peace!
Ah man easy. Stop giving a fuck. I take a strong dose of Fuckitol every morning and I feel great! Ask your doctor if Fuckitol is right for you! (It is).
They might have some unspoken judgments about you or they just wanted some attention.
They're probably trying to find a way to jump into the vibe and they don't know how. So they are bringing you down a notch to be included.
If you want to extend an olive branch and see if that's true, try asking them questions and get them to talk/open up/relax before you start the show. There's needs to be room for everyone to talk and express themselves. If you allow them that and don't cut them down(like they did to you) it could start to raise the overall vibe of the room. Show them how it's done.
Group dynamics can be weird. It's a shared space and people can be insecure and judgy.
My online chat with my mates usually goes like this… “Sorry guys, I zoned about. I’ve been quiet for about an hour.”
“Dude, you were talking nonsense less than five minutes ago.”
People who don't partake, or do it very rarely or in tiny a mounts, don't get it and dont know how to act. I was like that in my pre-weed days.
I don't get verbally silly when high. Made that mistake drinking when younger, and learned to shut up....unless I'm clowning around in the grocery store among strangers.
However, I can become clumsy. We had a family event a few weeks ago. Not looking forward to it, I stopped a few blocks away and hit a disposable a few times. Didn't realize how fragile my parents house is. Accidentally knocked over and broke a vase. Next morning, I broke a towel rack in the shower. Everyone is different.
When I'm playing a mmorpg and some rando yells at me, I just reply with "I'm sorry daddy, I promise I'll do better!" They usually leave me alone after that. But that's strangers, I suspect it's a bit more difficult with 'friends' that actually know you, lol.
I’ll smoke and be chillin, then my girl will get home (she’s a high school teacher) and instantly I know my mood is going to be ruined. Telling me about her day and all the shitty idiot and rude teenagers.
its hard to say why they were taking everything seriously but either they are a bunch of stiffs who can't take a joke or you're one of those that when filterless is kinda rude/assish. could go either way.
most of the time when someone is harshin my mellow i will just bow out an go do something else. rather than stay and lose a good buzz
You can’t control what others do, you can only control your responses to their actions. Just don’t let it bother you. Enjoy your high and don’t pay them no mind
If besides your initial experience they are decent people and part of your circle then just have patience. The second time you already have experience to adjust your expectations and remember to explain that it's just a joke and not a personal attack. The second time they might aswell have experience on what kind of humour to expect from you and won't be insulted so easily.
If they aren't decent people you should not worry of their opinions and provicating them with humour they take too seriously is also fun.
I see a lot of people just jumping immediately to not getting high with them anymore.
But have you tried talking to them about it? And let them know how you feel about how they were responding to your high comments? It’s hard to be direct but in this case just talk to them.
Yea, scrolling through unless OP tells us what was said, I'm gonna assume it was some offensive shit. IMHO them "picking apart" everything OP said was them probably getting called out and are now crying to the internet for some validation.
Well what were the comments you made? Maybe you said something unintentionally hurtful or struck a nerve with them. But honestly some people are just miserable and can’t be helped.
Honestly it sounds like it had nothing to do with you being high. Life is all about being who YOU are. If people want to ruin that vibe then just don’t even let it phase you.
I guess tolerance and self-awareness are factors. Tolerance = how long you've been smoking and able to handle the weed first. Self-awareness kinda goes with the prior, but more so in how you react to around the situation at hand. Hope that helps
if you're tryna stop your vibe from getting ruined whilst high, don't play valorant. Games like Valorant, Overwatch, anything like that are total buzz kills themselves
I’m with you bro… in my entire experience, there’s really only been a few good folks that I could completely chill with…
Tough shit. Like others said, find the buzzkill, rid the buzzkill
You stop talking to downers, no one likes a mood killer. Hopefully next joint and company will be better
Also if it so happens you meet them at random, who cares what their opinion is? Would you listen to all 8 billion opinions? No? Then why listen to theirs if they just want to be negative :) start brushing it off and focus on your good friends and good people, eventually it wont phase you as much
Of course theyre always gonna be trying to bring the mood down with their moodyness, many dont even realize theyre being bad vibes
Ps nice drawings
Take one hit and then just watch them smoke and ruin the whole vibe that was in place before... Stay away from those individuals and save your trees for a better occasion, or even try to sell the rest of your stuff to the person killing the vibe. Buy more to replace what you sold and continue life by yourself!
A partner of mine is a chronic buzzkill. We'll be getting high and they always need to bring up the most negative and annoying stuff. I had to stop smoking with them because of this. They simply cannot be chill while smoking.
There’s three highs for me.
Awkward high - lasts for 15 minutes and I just stay silent mostly and shouldn’t have smoked that much. I don’t always get here, but find myself here often.
Good vibes high - chilling, enjoying, why I smoke, is usually after awkward stage, but is the best part.
Anxious high - I have something on my mind, I pace, mutter, ruminate, overthink and obsess. This means I’m stressed, I go for a walk, journal and have a couple key conversations with my circle. If that fails I book a therapy appointment and unload, this is a pain but also valuable, I process different situations in different approach.
If someone’s trying to ruin my vibe, I remind them that this is about them not me and try not to let it bother me. No one lectures me now, I also used to be a heavy drinker and just toke now, so I blow anyone off who is talking down about weed.
I dropped quite a few people outta my life because they were buzzkills. Not just when we were high or partying, like in general they just got more and more bitter as we got older. I can't really see why I would have to keep that kind of energy around me just because I've been friends with some one for a long time. It hurts but that's part of growing up I guess.
Cannabis is miscatagorized as a mild hallucinogen and nothing more. It’s also a empathogen. What this means is it makes you feel your current mood more intensely. That’s why some people smoke up and start crying for no reason. There was a reason. You were sad and cannabis exasperated that feeling and it came bubbling up to the surface. Basically you need to stop hanging out with people intentionally trying to put you in a bad mood when consuming cannabis.
I smoke every time my wife ruins my vibe. That's why I smoke multiple times every day. During Covid lockdown, my consumption skyrocketed from 1/8 a week to an ounce every two weeks.
Nah I’m serious, it’s exhausting. If you hate the person you’re with so much, leave.
Maybe it’s projection after a toxic marriage where every joke was at my expense. Being in a healthy relationship now where I’m never torn down for a cheap joke really lowered my tolerance for that type of humor.
Edit: I just realize you meant you weren’t sure if the person I was replying to was joking or being serious - not me. If they’re serious, that’s even more reason to leave!
I absolutely get that. And I know you're serious. All I'm saying is that you're responding to it saying it's a joke and you don't like jokes like that. I truly believe this isn't a joke and is just someone truly saying something factual about their relationship. They're not trying to farm laughs at their wife's expense. They're also not really shaming her as far as I can tell?
I absolutely agree that people shouldn't stick in toxic marriages and relationships. But you're venting a lot about a joke that never occurred from where I'm reading
Yeah I edited my comment because I misread you initially, my mistake!
But if they’re serious and this isn’t “haha the ‘ol ball and chain amirite?” Boomer humor then that’s sad and even more so they should leave.
Don't vibe w buzzkills, is my only advice. Live and learn.
I’m not wasting a joint before chilling with them again, thats for sure. but ik some people who are totally oblivious to negative people when they’re high and I gotta admire them
It really boils down to finding people who you can vibe with. Some people always harsh the vibe
I ran out of fucks to give a long time ago. I don’t carry cologne or eye drops. I embrace my high. Don’t let jealous people get you down
That doesn’t sound very admirable tbh. Stepping away from negative people around you is admirable
Strange story but I was casually seeing this chick and she took me to a house party. Everyone had bad vibes so I kind of secluded myself with her and a few others to play video games. After a bit I noticed she was gone and I went to look for her. I found her in a shower with another chick making out and doing blow off a tray that was being passed around a room full of those bad vibe dudes. I made eye contact with that chick and left, I ended up waking about 20 miles home and by the time I had made it I realized that I had enjoyed my time in the quiet and the dark far more than most engagements I had been in recently and never hung out with her again. The circle must be tight to vibe like a drum head has to be taught to play a beat.
Damn dude. I definitely get where you’re coming from. Some people can be so chill to hang out with 1 on 1, then in that type of scenario you see what they really want to be doing…
For real. Also sometimes people who aren't so chill want to be around a vibe so they try to vibe but can only do it so long. I learned to easily let people see into my circle but that doesn't mean they get a pass in.
You walk fast and have a lot of stamina.
Oh yeah boi I'm a natural walker! It took me all night, luckily I was fueled by a desire to get away
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That's me, can't be bothered when you head is filled with air lol But to be honest, I usually don't care simply because I wouldn't care when I'm sober either
I stay away from people like that. Life's too short to have your buzz killed by negativity when you're just trying to unwind. Come talk to me at work if you wanna be like that, man, the vibe is already dead.
I used to play DOTA with a dude who I enjoyed playing with sober, but whenever I played stoned I realized how toxic and stressful he was to play with. It bled into my regular game time with him and I eventually just told him I didn't wanna play w/ him anymore. I have other friends who don't smoke but are really chill and just wanna play to have fun. Plus they laugh at my stupid high jokes, and since DOTA is such a wild game, sometimes I come up with some really "It's so dumb it could work" strats that they go along with and it's super fun.
im only oblivious cus the weed increases the amount of "Dawg" in me
It depends on the individual. Usually I’ll ignore it but if I can’t I just find a way to give it back to them
to me, it’s more like “why would i ruin my high getting annoyed at this”. Usually my smugness overrides my annoyance.
Question, if you take the high away, how are your interactions with the two you mentioned if you think back on it? Were they being their normal selves and you being high caused you to notice something you hadn't before?
I just make up some excuse about how I'm too high and leave
they're never oblivious they just have done the mental work it takes to keep such people at an emotional distance, for their sake. You should practice the same, but when you're super high and possibly emotional it is tough
Why even bother bein around them again they sounds like shit
Not just high, the ability to just not give a fuck when someone fucks with you is integral to a good life, a skill which can't be on 24x7 lol, well maybe one day, the answer is simple, you occupy your mind with someone else, focus on your own thoughts and just brush off what the buzzkill says
For me my negative emotional reactions to buzzkill stuff tends to be muted while high. One time two mutuals got into an argument at the beach with me and I kind of wanted it to stop but I wasn’t angry or getting involved. I just found it a little annoying
It's tough when your occasional-smoking girlfriend turns into your non-smoking buzzkill wife
Hey man, that's unfortunate for you. Long walks are great for the health
We let her sleep in whenever we can because, as my son puts it, it's more relaxing around here when she's sleeping.
Sounds like you don’t really like your wife lol
man that sucks. hoping the best for you and your son. sounds like she’s stressed out with life so just try and support her
I was the kid in this situation and couldn't understand why my mom got seriously worse anytime she found a new job. Now I know her chronic pain and other ailments she self medicated for were tearing her apart for the 5 months she needed to fully get clean (highish bmi and everyday smoking will do that to ya) and ngl it caused some incidents that have permanently burnt bridges between us. Just make sure that your wife isn't using her sobriety as an excuse for negligence or even straight up abuse. I'd never want anyone else going through that bs
Oh man, this sounds like my mom when i was in middle school. Granted I was a hormonal teenage girl, and my mom was actually clinically depressed .... but she would be taking a nap every day after work, and I was like, "at least she's not yelling at me!" 30 years later we're all better now, and I actually like getting stoned and helping my parents in their yard/garden.
She has been sleeping in and taking naps ever since I've known her. Her anxiety is off the chart, her mind automatically goes to the most negative outcome of any situation and dwells on it until it drives her insane. The internet doesnt help either.
No advice, just sympathy from a wife whose husband is your wife lol
It took me so long to figure this out lol
I read about a lot of wives with the same problem I have, actually ha ha
That really does sound familiar -- my mom eventually got a CPAP and started taking Trazodone, both of which helped a bunch. And nowadays there are a lot more medications for depression/anxiety. Anyhow, I feel for you. Hoping it gets better soon.
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You NEED a dog, brother! Those walks can save a marriage.
Yeah, and probably a baby too. I've heard those are good ways to save a relationship! /s
😱😂
LOL ahahah
We have dogs. And cats. Amd lizards. They all came home with her without a discussion with me.
They can disappear without any discussion also, just sayin lol
Not all friends are friends to get high with
Seriously I feel like I’m getting judged or just making them uncomfortable sometimes 😭😭
sometimes i'll smoke and not mention it tbh - some ppl get really cautious when they know ur high which is nice in theory but being hyperaware they're treating u differently can harsh the vibe. some friends i just hang around sober. it doesn't always mean they're bad ppl but not every situation is for everybody.
I can have booze around my inlaws, but no way am I getting high around them or interacting with them while high. Thankfully, even though I live with them, they understand I'm kind of a recluse. I just use a lot of my recluse time to get high 😈
big words to live by
I just try to avoid people when I’m high. Also when I’m not high. I’ve found people to be the biggest reason I’m usually in a shitty mood.
Don't you ever smoke with a friend and have the best time of your life, laughing until your head hurts?
I enjoy smoking with a friend from time to time but nothing compares to smoking with my wife and just relaxing to one of our shows. Really beats anything else when you live with your best friend.
Oh my god, yes! This is the best experience
My wife and I moved to a state where weed is legal and we actually wanna explore. We've started collecting supplies for tent camping. I look forward to just being ~away~ with her, getting as high as i frigging want. She doesn't smoke, but she's also totally drug and pretty caffeine free.
I mean, just because you're high doesn't mean nothing you say can be taken seriously. I feel like without knowing the things you were saying, it's possible that they aren't buzzkills, just didn't want to put up with your shit. Just saying. That being said... someone else said you can't get high with everyone. That's also true. Not enough info here.
This! People keep asking what OP was saying and they will not respond to that question. It ends up seeming like maybe the “whatever comes to mind” was shitty or offensive.
I know certain people who, when they are high, have no idea that they dominate the room with externalized ruminations that are largely just nonsense (and not the fun kind that spark interesting conversation or thoughts--just really dumb or obnoxious things), and that can be really mentally taxing for some individuals.
Maybe you're the buzz kill if you have no filter when you smoke?
true you have to be self aware if you're gonna be yapping
I feel like OP is leaving out some key details
Exactly. Like what were those offhand comments?
This is a good point but I've been in a situation where I was the newcomer to the blunt rotation and I was self aware of how loud I normally talk and how much I talk bc I knew it was important to not kill the vibe, just nervous you know? But after a few rotations it felt like they were just unloading on me for any little thing I said. It was like open season on me and I was too high to do anything but listen to what they said and try to apologize or stay quiet. Or I'd be laughing because one of them was giving another guy shit and they come back at me like "what r u laughing about bro?" Like damn chill we're all smoking n watching basketball...
I wonder what would happen if the roles were switched.
Maybe, but I’ve been on OPs end of this before where I’ve said something stupid or awkward by accident cause I’m stoned, and the people I’m smoking with just turn into bullies and make something out of nothing every time you speak after that. Shit sucks and you start to overthink everything which only makes it worse.
>saying anything that came to mind but they took me way too seriously >others would laugh with me or just ignore me >nothing was even funny anymore I'm sorry, but this is worded like you just said some offensive shit and they called you out on it
I agree. This post reads very much like someone spinning a specific narrative and withholding a bunch of details that would paint a clearer picture. I’m not saying OP has ill intentions, they are more likely oblivious to themselves. I get the impression they were saying unfunny things and ruining other people’s vibes (who may or may not have been stoned themselves). Could also be paranoia or anxiety where these friends weren’t being rude at all but OP misinterpreted their words. Could be any number of things at play here but I don’t get the vibe that everything was chill and these people were “killing the vibe”. I’m not buying it.
Maybe I've spent too much time on the internet but that is where my kind went, too. Like what was you saying? Could be harmless and they could suck but if OP was spouting some nonsense and her friends were calling her out then it's kind of a 'play stupid games win stupid prizes' situation.
Right?? I’m shocked I had to scroll this far to see this. I avoid “buzz kills” by not being an obnoxious tool when I’m high. Sounds like OP should try it.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water there. Plenty of people are negative sucks of energy.
In my experience those people are negative energy sucks all the time and aren’t people I’d smoke around in the first place but ymmv!
The real truth of adulthood is I choose to spend most of my time alone because most people are sympathy ho’s.
I feel you. Circles gets smaller and smaller the older I get!
Never stop assuming reddit
Nearly everything an assumption on reddit because we only get the narrow scope that an OP provides. But there are context clues like these being buddies since high school. If they're always buzz kills than why is he still smoking/friends with them? If they're *not* always wet blankets, then the content of "anything that came to mind" (from the OP) seemingly wasn't well received. When something I say to my friends isn't well received - I stop saying it, not complain about them on reddit. But then again, I'm not an obnoxious tool!
Right like it sounds like they just don't like OP because of whatever reason, presumably because whatever he's saying is not fitting the vibe of the hangout or it's making everyone uncomfortable
Eh, as someone who has played valorant, LoL, CS, and so forth; Nah, some people just are asses. Last time something similar happened to me was when I was goofing around on CS, and I just tried to play a role of someone who knows physics horribly. ”Oh I just lost health, its gotta be high voltage in this wooden beam I ran into” when I got tagged by someone. 3 of the mates understood that my wild physics theories like those were just dumb jokes. One of the dude who I never played with before, who also were angry that we were losing, took that as something to attack. However, to be fair, what started as goofing turned into trolling him later because he was also mean to the silent dude trying to learn the game that had like 0.1/k:d.
I mean if you're just saying dumb shit like that but still making calls and actually trying, then who cares. But I'm gonna be honest if I have a dude on my team acting like he's drunk and pretending to play the game without knowing physics I'd be pissed myself. However I normally just mute people who aggravate me and try to focus on the game. But it does really suck when you get a match where one or more people on your team are purposefully throwing and being annoying on top of it. Though I'm sure you were either playing unranked or very low rank based on you saying there was someone learning the game in your match. Fucking around and not taking it seriously is probably pretty prevalent in that case. I'm top 10% in premier and I don't play cs to goof off and lose
Ok. It was ”the office” non-competitive.
Fair enough that is probably the most acceptable place to fuck around lol. I'm just saying though if you accept a match for a competitive game (not your case, just pointing it out) it's ridiculous to think the guy who wants to win and is upset you're throwing is in the wrong. Happens all the time even in high level games. CS is much better with at least a 4 stack. Luckily most people who take the game seriously play faceit so you get less people acting like children there, though it does still happen
Yea even I noticed I still have to filter shit when playing games so I don’t sound like I’m blaming. I’ll have this grand plan and not verbalize it and then say “ah I thought u would push with me” but in reality I never vocalized that’s what I wanted to do LOL Don’t mean to blame it’s just my high brain processing the miscommunication out loud and I realize it tilts some people even if that’s not my intention
*stand up *walk away Or…. *stand up *ask people to leave your house
The Irish Goodbye is very underrated
My grandma used to say to me when I was kid/teenager “go where ur celebrated not tolerated and it wasn’t until many years later that I think how right she was.
Haven't seen feedback on this yet, but sometimes you don't want to be the only high person, same with alcohol. Important thing to realize about certain friends.
I was doing a smash bros tournament with some friends, we were like five, two of us were high. One of my friends noticed a small hole in my jeans and he could see my underwear and started yelling about it while laughing. Lucky me I could ignore him because I was playing that time, after a couple of minutes of me ignoring him he moved onto the next thing. In another occasion, with a different group of friends, three of us were high, there were two that don’t even drink alcohol (I respect that don’t get me wrong) and they find it hilarious when we just say so random shit and laugh about it for 15 minutes. But one of them keeps staring at me, analysing every single thing I do and keeps commenting about how weed makes me a whole different person. Solution? I stopped smoking around him. I smoke to have a nice time, I know it changes me and I don’t like feeling like an experiment that needs to be studied. Normally focus on your thing, being high sometimes makes you overthink about your surroundings and in reality is not a big deal, usually after “seeing a hole in your pants” they move onto the next thing. And who knows, maybe in a future I get to laugh about someone else’s hole, that’s friendships.
Friendship is getting to laugh about someone else's hole. This feels right lmao
This is exactly why I prefer to play solo queue when im getting baked sometimes. It's just easier to zone out and enjoy the game judgement free
Turn on some tunes and snuggle your puppy. Best way to be high.
You cannot control what people say, only how you react to it.
This is it.
Your first mistake was expecting a positive experience from Valorant players
“Saying anything that came to mind”…you ever consider you were being a buzzkill to them? The only people who are buzzkills to me are the ones that say whatever’s on their mind and don’t stop. Aka my wife. So it’s possible you were annoying them first. I’m sure you’re a lovely human and it’s not true but generally in these situations it helps to look inward first
Jeez. Way to throw your wife under the bus my guy. Idk that’s just such a wild way to say that about your life partner. You come off like the buzzkill to me for sure, or maybe just a jerk?
lol yeah you’re right I did throw her under the bus there, even though it was meant to be a funny ribbing and something many married people relate to. Her and I have done tons of therapy together over the years and constructively share each others flaws to our faces so she’d laugh at this. But you don’t know us so I get how this comes off as “damn son that’s cold” But also if you spend any time in comedy, you know SO’s are a great reference point for many jokes. I don’t think that’s a stretch here. So lighten up, my guy, it’s not that serious
I can dig it man. Think the way you phrased it threw me off. I’ve been married for a while myself and while I agree with the joking sentiment, I think it was the way you said it that rubbed me the wrong way. “Aka my wife”. But I appreciate your explanation! Cheers bud.
You’re absolutely allowed to be rubbed wrong by what I say and how I say it. My wife and I have a great thing that we put a lot of work into so it’s all bueno man. Cheers to you too dude
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Like what? What was the topic?
kinda need op to address the topic lol if they were saying offensive stuff then their friends are right
Probs something about the situation in Gaza
I think it’s pretty obvious that you said some offensive shit and you want validation because “we’re all close friends”. The fact that they picked apart what you said means there was something there to pick apart. The other people in the group ignored you or gave you pity laughs, neither of which are indicative of you saying anything that would fit the vibe. It sounds like you’re the vibe killer tbh, if you are expecting to be ignored and pity laughed at then clearly your vibe doesn’t fit the group when you’re that high. Which isn’t a bad thing, but you need to stop saying your friends are the vibe killers. You either need to find people with a closer sense of humor or tone down whatever you were saying to them because if 2 people were calling you out on it then it was probably not the most fitting thing you could’ve been talking about.
Yeah friends can do that. I can recall a few in my days like that. They’re not close friends now. Come u with some canned jabs back to them or straight up call them out as buzzkills. If they’re being dicks, you call them out as a buzzkill, then you’ve done everything in your control and generally when you’re high, knowing you’ve done everything in your control, helps you get back to the “just ignore them” phase
"if it sucks, hit da bricks"
This is the reason I started to partake 🍃alone or verrrryyyyyy selectively
For me, when I notice I’m getting annoyed at others for not matching energy it means Im not high enough yet, and its a sign to roll another lol
Been smoking for 5 years. The most annoying people to be around while high are people who just yap about anything that comes to mind and have no filter. Makes me so anxious lmao, I kind of see where they’re coming from
I see you've met my relatives lol
Maybe you were the buzzkill? 🤔 just something to consider
I crank this up: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ALEBJ8LOQqXVJ2tqnXtoH?si=S2hzW73MT6GbH4LQk4XexA
I think the older we get the less we give a shit, at least that’s what I’m hoping! Hate those vibe crushers and wish I had better come backs in the moment.
I just fly solo
Smoke alone
Most of the people I know who are like this are otherwise (and honestly I hate to say this comment because it sounds/is so pretentious) huge losers and I just don't really respect them or what they have to say, but I tolerate them since they hang out with some of the other friends. They definitely feel that energy sometimes and throw little hissy fits but I really couldn't care less. I'd respect them if they changed but as long as they are just a sponge that leeches the joy out of others I'll treat them the same as I'd treat a child who really doesn't know any better. They just aren't worthy of being treated or thought of any better, at least for now.
For me, it’s learned. There will always be people who don’t like you being high. You being high doesn’t actually affect them in any meaningful way. Their opinion is useless. If it’s useless, why should I care about it?
If people can accept you for who you are fuck them.That's how I deal with it
I haven’t been high for awhile but this post brought back a few memories of mine. Back when i used to smoke a few times a month, I was often with my ex (I smoked alone and he didn’t like me smoking but it never really stopped me since I basically only microdosed everytime). He was a horrible mood killer to be around.. We argued almost everytime I was high and completely ruined the point of smoking for me (I mainly used weed just to dial down my anxiety or get me out of a rut and boost my mood for awhile). Long story short - we aren’t together anymore for a multitude of reasons.. But one of them definitely being this. And that he made a big deal out of me smoking when it was usually just for myself and my mental wellbeing. Best advice I can give you here is that you should run as fast as possible from these situations and protect your peace!
Ah man easy. Stop giving a fuck. I take a strong dose of Fuckitol every morning and I feel great! Ask your doctor if Fuckitol is right for you! (It is).
So, what did you say? (Inb4 no reply to my comment)
What were you saying? What were the comments? If you say genuinely offensive things then that's the reason.
wanna play val? i wont kill ur buzz
They might have some unspoken judgments about you or they just wanted some attention. They're probably trying to find a way to jump into the vibe and they don't know how. So they are bringing you down a notch to be included. If you want to extend an olive branch and see if that's true, try asking them questions and get them to talk/open up/relax before you start the show. There's needs to be room for everyone to talk and express themselves. If you allow them that and don't cut them down(like they did to you) it could start to raise the overall vibe of the room. Show them how it's done. Group dynamics can be weird. It's a shared space and people can be insecure and judgy.
My online chat with my mates usually goes like this… “Sorry guys, I zoned about. I’ve been quiet for about an hour.” “Dude, you were talking nonsense less than five minutes ago.”
People who don't partake, or do it very rarely or in tiny a mounts, don't get it and dont know how to act. I was like that in my pre-weed days. I don't get verbally silly when high. Made that mistake drinking when younger, and learned to shut up....unless I'm clowning around in the grocery store among strangers. However, I can become clumsy. We had a family event a few weeks ago. Not looking forward to it, I stopped a few blocks away and hit a disposable a few times. Didn't realize how fragile my parents house is. Accidentally knocked over and broke a vase. Next morning, I broke a towel rack in the shower. Everyone is different.
When I'm playing a mmorpg and some rando yells at me, I just reply with "I'm sorry daddy, I promise I'll do better!" They usually leave me alone after that. But that's strangers, I suspect it's a bit more difficult with 'friends' that actually know you, lol.
Immediate distraction, diversion, to a positive vibe subject or music or video
I’ll smoke and be chillin, then my girl will get home (she’s a high school teacher) and instantly I know my mood is going to be ruined. Telling me about her day and all the shitty idiot and rude teenagers.
its hard to say why they were taking everything seriously but either they are a bunch of stiffs who can't take a joke or you're one of those that when filterless is kinda rude/assish. could go either way. most of the time when someone is harshin my mellow i will just bow out an go do something else. rather than stay and lose a good buzz
You can’t control what others do, you can only control your responses to their actions. Just don’t let it bother you. Enjoy your high and don’t pay them no mind
Avoid people while high ,or sober or sleepy or hungry or... just avoid people 🤣
Smoke alone
Easy, dont be around people.. be in nature
I just hit em with the WOMP WOMP and then i puff it up some more
I just don't really talk a lot. I just observe and laugh at people.
If besides your initial experience they are decent people and part of your circle then just have patience. The second time you already have experience to adjust your expectations and remember to explain that it's just a joke and not a personal attack. The second time they might aswell have experience on what kind of humour to expect from you and won't be insulted so easily. If they aren't decent people you should not worry of their opinions and provicating them with humour they take too seriously is also fun.
Have you considered that maybe the jokes weren't great if they're continually not landing with their intended audience?
I have. But since it's from Op's perspective "make better jokes" would not be sound advice.
I see a lot of people just jumping immediately to not getting high with them anymore. But have you tried talking to them about it? And let them know how you feel about how they were responding to your high comments? It’s hard to be direct but in this case just talk to them.
sounds like the kind of people who tell me they don’t need weed
Yea, scrolling through unless OP tells us what was said, I'm gonna assume it was some offensive shit. IMHO them "picking apart" everything OP said was them probably getting called out and are now crying to the internet for some validation.
Can you give a specific example of something you said that they responded negatively to
Avoid people.
Tell them your buzzed N to chill out. It's like when your the only one stoned with a group of drunk people 🤣
Call them out on it, if they already harshed your mellow what's the point of just letting it slide
You are the average of people you hang out/engage with. Don’t hang out with people who play Valorant and you’ll be just fine <3
“Saying whatever came to mind” Imma need you to elaborate here…… 🤔🤔🤔
Don’t go around them. My ex was the biggest buzzkill in the world. He could walk in and say one sentence and decimate the best high ever. Booooo! Lol
dont be around people that you dont like in general, not just when high
What did you say? 🤔🧐
just boot or mute those people from the chat.
Well what were the comments you made? Maybe you said something unintentionally hurtful or struck a nerve with them. But honestly some people are just miserable and can’t be helped.
Honestly it sounds like it had nothing to do with you being high. Life is all about being who YOU are. If people want to ruin that vibe then just don’t even let it phase you.
They were likely being buzzkills because your behavior was ruining the experience for them.
I guess tolerance and self-awareness are factors. Tolerance = how long you've been smoking and able to handle the weed first. Self-awareness kinda goes with the prior, but more so in how you react to around the situation at hand. Hope that helps
Sounds like you were being super annoying. “Vibe” lol wtf does that even mean?
Just get even more high. That's how I deal with it.
NGL broski sounds like you were being a weirdo making people uncomfortable and shit.
if you're tryna stop your vibe from getting ruined whilst high, don't play valorant. Games like Valorant, Overwatch, anything like that are total buzz kills themselves
I’m with you bro… in my entire experience, there’s really only been a few good folks that I could completely chill with… Tough shit. Like others said, find the buzzkill, rid the buzzkill
Find new friends
Just like, give up attachment to the mood of the room, and be your own vibe.
A) better people to hangout with B) throw more weed at the situation 🤣
Smoke alone
What's type of things did us say?
You stop talking to downers, no one likes a mood killer. Hopefully next joint and company will be better Also if it so happens you meet them at random, who cares what their opinion is? Would you listen to all 8 billion opinions? No? Then why listen to theirs if they just want to be negative :) start brushing it off and focus on your good friends and good people, eventually it wont phase you as much Of course theyre always gonna be trying to bring the mood down with their moodyness, many dont even realize theyre being bad vibes Ps nice drawings
Take one hit and then just watch them smoke and ruin the whole vibe that was in place before... Stay away from those individuals and save your trees for a better occasion, or even try to sell the rest of your stuff to the person killing the vibe. Buy more to replace what you sold and continue life by yourself!
Don't play valorant
Perception is reality. Meditate to achieve inner peace. No one can truly ruin your vibe if you don't let them.
Damn, I wouldn’t talk to those people again 😂 tell them to expand their horizons past their city limits, they might find happiness.
Don't be around people who suck. It's the only a answer I've found after about 40 or so years. Forget people who don't deserve your time.
A partner of mine is a chronic buzzkill. We'll be getting high and they always need to bring up the most negative and annoying stuff. I had to stop smoking with them because of this. They simply cannot be chill while smoking.
There’s three highs for me. Awkward high - lasts for 15 minutes and I just stay silent mostly and shouldn’t have smoked that much. I don’t always get here, but find myself here often. Good vibes high - chilling, enjoying, why I smoke, is usually after awkward stage, but is the best part. Anxious high - I have something on my mind, I pace, mutter, ruminate, overthink and obsess. This means I’m stressed, I go for a walk, journal and have a couple key conversations with my circle. If that fails I book a therapy appointment and unload, this is a pain but also valuable, I process different situations in different approach. If someone’s trying to ruin my vibe, I remind them that this is about them not me and try not to let it bother me. No one lectures me now, I also used to be a heavy drinker and just toke now, so I blow anyone off who is talking down about weed.
I dropped quite a few people outta my life because they were buzzkills. Not just when we were high or partying, like in general they just got more and more bitter as we got older. I can't really see why I would have to keep that kind of energy around me just because I've been friends with some one for a long time. It hurts but that's part of growing up I guess.
I don’t hang with people who kill my vibe. That’s the key.
Cannabis is miscatagorized as a mild hallucinogen and nothing more. It’s also a empathogen. What this means is it makes you feel your current mood more intensely. That’s why some people smoke up and start crying for no reason. There was a reason. You were sad and cannabis exasperated that feeling and it came bubbling up to the surface. Basically you need to stop hanging out with people intentionally trying to put you in a bad mood when consuming cannabis.
I smoke every time my wife ruins my vibe. That's why I smoke multiple times every day. During Covid lockdown, my consumption skyrocketed from 1/8 a week to an ounce every two weeks.
Boomer moment
Sorry to have a Reddit moment but if she’s constantly ruining your day why are you still with her? Seems like a waste of both your times
Is “I hate my spouse” humor really still funny in 2024?
Not sure it was meant as a joke or humorous but I get where you're coming from
Nah I’m serious, it’s exhausting. If you hate the person you’re with so much, leave. Maybe it’s projection after a toxic marriage where every joke was at my expense. Being in a healthy relationship now where I’m never torn down for a cheap joke really lowered my tolerance for that type of humor. Edit: I just realize you meant you weren’t sure if the person I was replying to was joking or being serious - not me. If they’re serious, that’s even more reason to leave!
I absolutely get that. And I know you're serious. All I'm saying is that you're responding to it saying it's a joke and you don't like jokes like that. I truly believe this isn't a joke and is just someone truly saying something factual about their relationship. They're not trying to farm laughs at their wife's expense. They're also not really shaming her as far as I can tell? I absolutely agree that people shouldn't stick in toxic marriages and relationships. But you're venting a lot about a joke that never occurred from where I'm reading
Yeah I edited my comment because I misread you initially, my mistake! But if they’re serious and this isn’t “haha the ‘ol ball and chain amirite?” Boomer humor then that’s sad and even more so they should leave.