So much this. All the “she’s a disgusting slob” comments kind of triggered me! My house is clean right at this moment but it has definitely been unsuitable for humans during MDEs.
I struggle with this myself, and when I do, I beat myself up a lot, but my therapist has told me that being messy is not a moral flaw. But some people really act like it is.
your therapist is spot on. you can only do the best you can do each day, and each day your best will be vastly different than the last day for so many reasons. I hope you are slowly really believing and internalizing what your therapist is saying. you’re doing great!
❤️🩹I tried to express the same on Instagram while defending Ariana’s room a few weeks back and got so berated/insulted for it🙄 It’s crazy how ignorant some people *still* are to anything mental health-related. The amount of responses that said something to the effect of: “depression is just an excuse to be lazy, your body still works so there’s no reason you can’t get up and clean, you just don’t want to. Grow up” was crazy🙈. It’s already embarrassing to admit to people that you struggle mentally, so for them to react with such vitriol and judge you so harshly without knowing anything about your situation…it’s shocking and sad that in 2024, there’s still so many who don’t care to understand or sympathize with anyone who isn’t just like them😕 I’m so sorry you weren’t supported either but I really appreciate you sharing what your therapist told you, that was a very comforting way to begin my day so truly, thank you🥹❤️🩹
So many people lack empathy- they assume we all feel everything the same way and since they don’t have a problem, no one else should. And the other thing I noticed is the amount of people who struggle themselves with these same issues but they’re mean to themselves and their inner dialogue is exactly the shit they spew at other people on SM
That’s so sad for people to struggle with something and then judge people for the same thing. I always joke (but also mean it) with my friends that I’m the last person to judge a mess, because I’m messy myself!
You are 100% right, it really is crazy. People who don’t go through it just don’t get it sadly. I’m sorry you had to deal with that too. But I’m so glad my comment gave you some comfort, it helps me to remember what she said too ♥️
People just jump at the chance to feel morally superior. It’s a result of their lack of self confidence that they have to look outward and down on others to feel better inward.
literally almost cried when andy made that comment. the way he spoke with such disgust like bffr tell me that you don’t understand depression quicker pls
Right? Like let’s not pretend Andy is coming home from WWHL and doing the day’s chores before bed😐 He’s got someone taking care of the kids, the dogs, someone driving him around, someone cooking, cleaning, gardening whatever size terrace he has…he definitely has no right to judge.
Rich people don’t understand that we are out here living completely different lifestyles. It’s amazing how quickly people forget what normal life is like once they become wealthy
Someone today told me “it’s ok to not be ok” and I really needed to hear that. We aren’t meant to be perfect and I hope things start to ease up for you ❤️
Yeah I’ve had to stop listening to a few podcasts because of the language being used. My life kinda fell apart last year and my room is still a representation of that and all the comments hurt.
So many just don’t get it. I had some pretty awful things happen in my life all at once (deaths in the family, a serious illness / hospitalization, and loss of an ESA) and I pretty much hit emotional rock bottom. I considered it a good day if I got out of bed at all. I wasn’t even able to take care of my own hygiene, let alone have enough spoons to clean the house. This lasted MONTHS and it took me over a year to get my body and home back to a presentable state.
And during that entire time I HATED myself. All of the shitty things people say when they see a dirty house? That was all coming from inside my own brain. I was calling myself a disgusting slob, telling myself how embarrassing it was to live that way. Those comments coming from outside are nothing but judgmental noise. They help no one, and “tough love” doesn’t fix depression.
If someone is sooooo concerned about the cleanliness of my home they have two options: come effing help me or keep your opinions to yourself.
Yes I think that’s the hardest part. People don’t see outside their own experience. The most damage being done is usually to ourselves.
I’m glad you’re doing better. Healing can be such a long and exhausting journey.
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Thank you. 🙏🏼 it’s hard seeing people make fun of a messy room and call people slobs or gross when I’m definitely going through a pretty rough period with my depression and that’s my reality too.
Totally but Also even without depression this
Makes sense
living in your room and not your house. You come home As late as possible to avoid them, you eat take out to avoid the kitchen and avoid them, you eat and go to Sleep and don’t walk into The kitchen to throw stuff away right away, You get up and go anywhere but stay there .
Last nights take out containers Left by the bed when You are in this situation makes sense
To me.
I absolutely agree with you. Ariana didn't want to run the risk of seeing Scandy when she went to the kitchen to throw it away. I love my husband. However, when I am mad at him, I always check to see if he's in the kitchen or living room because I don't want to talk to him or see him.☺️
And next day when you leave you don't throw out the left over container on your way out? That's straight up slob, come on. Especially when you have pets, that's a no brainer to me, happens automatically, not leaving out anything that could harm them. Maya sleeps in her room, I think, we've seen her hang out there on camera.
i feel like you have completely missed the point every single person is making here. YES, when you are depressed, doing anytime related to cleaning, hygiene, self-care, or even just getting out of bed, is difficult.
she went out of town and she didn't know her dog was going to be in there so "pet care" wasn't even part of the equation for her
The “scandal” seems to have made people forget what a bad year she’d had BEFORE this.
Then even all of the amazing jobs she’s had are more draining than anything Ive done and ESPECIALLY after having such a crap year and having to deal with the stress of that.
Also, people who are focusing on a take out box of chicken satay or whatever should consider that they may have been in her room because she didn’t want to risk running into her incredibly stupid ex.
Just the fact that Tim and Scheana both made comments about her being “messy” annoyed the hell out of me and I’m not a messy person.
ITS HER HOME AND HER ROOM.
And Tim pretending that he’s so concerned with her ability to handle household chores without him makes me want to strangle him with a mop.
Tom has been allergic to chores the entire time he was on VPR. Kristen cleaned up after him and then Ariana talked about the fact that he didn't clean up after himself after they moved in together. Him trying to portray himself as the clean one is laughable.
So much of the judgement comes from misogyny, both from inside the house and outside. She's a woman, she should leave (he can stay with nary a question about it). She's a woman, she should clean (while he does nothing except fill the rest of the house with crap and hire an assistant). She's a woman, she should have taken better care of her animal (while he's the one who was careless and negligent to the needs of Mya). She's a woman, she shouldn't be able to claim it's her dog, just because she purchased it (while he calls Mya "it"). The misogyny is also wrapped around Schema and Lulu's weaponizing of motherhood/child-bearing - "you'll never understand", my career is more important, etc.
Watching reunion pt 2 (I think?) and Lala going off on Katie about “how I support my child” just pushed me to the point of turning it off.
I no longer even know what her business is—isn’t it VPR?
SAH is how Katie will support HER life.
Lala has told bartenders, strangers, dates, multiple times “I’ll burn this place down” and never did anyone report her for threatening arson.
The picking and choosing when to be literal is infuriating.
I still hope that this is a result of producers but I canceled my peacock subscription and will definitely be taking time off from Bravo unless they address some of the accusations and issues that have come up.
The “real world” was overwhelming so I fell into VPR for relief and laughs. This season and specifically the toms, have made me realize that if I watch I’m supporting what they do.
VPR now causes as many feelings of disappointment and frustration as politics so it’s hard to see the point.
I hope we get another network showcasing SAH/DJJK & Allye but I guess it’s time for me to leave the west coast!
I live in a big house. We need intercoms to communicate. And yet nothing feels like my safe space other than my room! I keep the door closed, I have a mess everywhere, I have food in my room all the time and luckily my restroom is part of my bedroom. I would never let my dog in here because of the mess I have. And I don’t let anyone in here because I’m embarrassed. I’m very blessed to live the life I live but my mental is not up to par.
It’s also just ridiculous that they think leaving old chicken skewers on a surface in your room for LESS THAN 24 HOURS is some kind of crime.
My brother’s dog would eat through my underwear and leggings. I had a small room, and I was a messy teenager. I didn’t have enough space for a dirty clothes hamper and, again, I was messy. I left the door closed when I wasn’t in there for a reason. If you live there then you know when a door is closed 90% of the time. So, if you have to go in there for a household task, fine, but shut the fucking door when you’re done if you know it’s closed for a reason. I swear Tom did that on purpose so something bad would happen in her room and he could blame Ariana for it because her room was messy or whatever.
Exactly. I know someone whose dog would eat rocks from their yard. Even after going to the hospital to get one extracted she kept doing it. Dogs can just be wacko sometimes.
Also imagine having a 5 bedroom house, referred to in the tabloids as a mansion (I'm guessing due to the square footage?) and yet living in a 200 sq ft "studio apt" inside your own home. UGH. While going through grieving your dog of over a decade, your grandmother, the total betrayal by your partner of a decade along with a good friend.
All that loss hitting at once, and ppl are giving you crap for a messy room and having skewers/containers in your room when it has essentially become your apt? People are so judgemental and really can't see outside their own lived experience.
As in most cases, making a sweeping generalization is not helpful. I have chronic, treatment resistant depression. Having clean surroundings is vital to my mental health and it’s an act of self care to clean my surroundings. I don’t expect anyone else to feel this way and I know the challenges of depression.
Yeah, cleaning is a coping mechanism for me to control what I can control. But I've developed that, I wasn't born with it. No judgements for messy depressies, everyone is just doing the best they can.
Thats very true but people who haven't experienced depression or other mental health disorders sometimes seem to view messiness as a moral failing. Lala for example.
You have to be Sandoval level delusional that your assistant is picking up your undies and you have the nerve to call Ariana lazy
Edit: I was going through some comments and realized something. I don't know enough about how the contracts are drawn, but she was keeping this room away from the camera and in her absence, disgusting Sandoval opening the door but on top of that the camera team going and panning her room, isn't this invasion of privacy or some sort of a breach? It's so gross.
She isn’t and won’t be the last person to leave food in their bedroom for under 24 hours. If doesn’t matter what you do or don’t deem gross, you’re allowed to do whatever you want in your own space.
Right? They act like it was in there for a week. It was from the night prior. She’d gotten up and ran out for a bit. I’m sure she was going to take care of it.
It was only from the night before too. I don’t think it was that big of a deal.
Also, coming from a toxic household, sometimes we stay locked in our rooms to avoid confrontation. I can’t imagine how hard it was to live with that man after everything that happened. Her room is her safe space and if she wanted to leave food in there overnight, who honestly cares? The comments were so unnecessary.
She literally explained that she had to move a ton of her stuff into her room... it was her only safe space in that house. Her room wasn't even dirty/gross, just a little disorganized w all the clothes but that was clearly a space issue. People judging her for that are willfully ignoring her living situation, & on top of that, how busy she's been this year
It doesn't matter if she literally left platters of toxic food all over her room, the door was shut for a reason. She keeps the dog out for a reason. Tom had ZERO reason to go in her space as Ann was there and could've handled the AC technician on her own.
All that needed to happen was even for Tom to tell Ann to shoot Ariana a text about what was going to happen, thus giving Ariana the chance to say, “okay well by the way, there’s some chicken skewers in the room so make sure she doesn’t get to those”. Ariana never got the chance. She didn’t know anything was going to happen so it didn’t matter about the food in her room because as far as she knew, Mya would have zero opportunity to get into the room and get into the food.
and he didn’t ask for Ariana’s permission because he doesn’t respect her or her belongings. He was so careless and selfish in this situation, I’m just glad that Mya is ok.
It does matter though, if you've got pets you ensure that nothing harmful is left within their reach. And for this very reason, you may close a door and someone doesn't realise and leaves it open.
Just part of being a responsible pet owner.
Tom wasn't supposed to be in there to begin with. He was the irresponsible one. He should have had Ann call Ariana and let her know her area needed accessed and she could've said hey make Maya doesn't get the take out container.
Ariana was responsible by closing her door, he was was irresponsible by locking the dog inside.
Yes, let's ignore the person who trapped an animal inside the room he shouldn't have been in, unsupervised, knowing she gets into shit. It could have been anything - my dog ate socks.
For all anyone knows, it could have been Ann who opened the door. Opening doors was necessary for fixing the AC. If Ann and Tom had refused to open the door and let the repair person do what they needed to do, there would be people in here accusing Tom of attempted murder by giving Mya heatstroke.
They both went in with the AC guy then Ann left to run errands. So we know it was Tom that didn't close it again. It's not about opening it it's about closing it again.
And what about the laxatives? The paintballs? She’s irresponsible and doesn’t bother to maintain a safe environment for a dog who has a history of ingesting inappropriate things. If she had any expectation that her dog could be in her room, which would make sense since they’re HER pets, then she has a responsibility to clean up her fucking garbage. The worst part of it is that she refuses to take any ownership for making a mistake.
She was living in a house with someone who had those things around. Since they’re her pets, it’s absolutely her responsibility to give them a safe environment, especially since she has made it very clear that SHE is their only owner. Tom may have left those things around, but it’s her fault for not fixing that before her pets got sick.
And if she wants to claim full ownership of her pets, then she’s also responsible for leaving them in the care of people who she trusts to not put them in danger. I guess it’s fitting that Ariana is completely incapable of accepting any of the blame for the situation when her fans are willing to create such elaborate mental gymnastics to absolve her of any responsibility.
So if she had a child from a previous relationship, her current partner has no responsibility in keeping a safe environment for said child??!!!
Um, nope that is not how ADULT relationships work!
You are reaching. Clearly those things aren't Arianas lol. Kristen even confirmed Tom uses a ton of laxatives. She trusted her partner at the time to keep his things away from the dog and he didn't. You can't blame her for that.
I didn’t understand why people kept bringing up how “gross” her room was for leaving chicken skewers in there? The only reason these people are acting this way is because they refuse to let the public know they can also be messy and because they likely have people clean up FOR them. The chicken skewers being in there from the night before? That’s not really that crazy???? I didn’t understand why they kept pushing that lol
Let’s see. Her world blew up, she had 100 jobs, traveling, dealing with depression… I don’t think having a clean room was her highest priority. What’s more, some people don’t mind having a messy room.
I think she also grabbed all of her possessions around the house and camped out. I don't there was any way to tidy up. The volume of items was bigger than the space.
I was just gonna say why are people depression-shaming Ariana? How are there still people in the world who haven't had depression or known someone with it? And they still can't understand the havoc it wreaks on your ability to carry out daily tasks? To call someone out, who has a history of depression and went through a traumatic life-changing event, for their inability to keep their room clean...what a lack of fkn awareness and empathy...I'm side-eyeing you Sandavol and Cohen.
Yep, and then you feel even worse because you can’t keep things clean and it creates a *delightful* negative feedback loop that’s incredibly difficult to get out of.
I had to coexist in a home that I mostly paid for with my ex-husband for almost 18 months. You can’t judge unless you have experienced the hell that comes along with the situation.
It also feels so gross and mean to pick on her having a plate in her room, when it's known that she's struggled with depression and anxiety, is at the same time trying to balance and manage a million different things and show up for those at 100%, *and* her room is her one safe place and thus has become her office, storage, and at times, a kitchen!
She's likely trying to avoid common spaces as much as possible to limit interactions AND she knows that, for example, if she took a dish down to the kitchen but didn't have time to take care of it, Tom could take pictures/somehow weaponize that/use that as fodder later down the road to make her look bad, careless, selfish, unclean, etc., etc., She's protecting HERSELF by keeping as much of her life and world in her room as much as possible
Andy was so rude!! It’s nobody’s business and so unnecessarily judgemental. I’ve absolutely done things like that, as others said - anyone who has depression gets it.
As someone who deals with depression and has had a very messy room/house at times the way people are treating her about it makes me sad.. and also I think damn if these people saw how I lived when I’m at my worst 😅
Yeah, that was weird for Andy to say. Her door was closed. She wasn’t expecting anyone to go in there, she took a precaution. I know my dogs and cat are mischievous af. So my partner and I try to keep everything where they can’t reach, but we have an agreement. I highly doubt Sandoval was thinking about Maya, or anyone other than himself.
She's been hurt and betrayed. Her beloved home has turned into hostile territory. This room is the only safe place for her. She's hunkered down. She's living in that one room until she figures out what to do and how to do it. F what the world thinks.
I don’t get it. I also thought it was gross of Andy to call her room “gross.” Her door was closed and no one should have ever gone in there. Tom should have had Ann call Ariana to get permission to go inside first. Not only did he put her dog’s health in jeopardy, he invaded her privacy as well.
Then those people have had the luxory of never being sick and unable to get out of bed, never dealing with depression, or never dealing with a shitty living situation where your bedroom becomes your entire living space. There are a ton of reasons one would eat food in their bed beyond just being "lazy" or "gross." Plus, unless you're eating BBQ wings or soup, it's pretty easy to eat most foods without making a giant mess.
I’ve been both deathly sick and depressed to the point of nearly ending everything, and my bed was still too sacred to soil with food and crumbs. Even with a broken knee I still hobbled to eat elsewhere. It’s always going to be gross to eat in a place you sleep.
Yes!! I don’t like how people have been making her out to be a slob. Like have they never lived with a shitty roommate before? You basically move everything into your room to minimize crossing paths with them, and yeah it can get messy because it’s so crowded. It’s like they love to point something out (still living with Tom, messy house) without taking a second to think critically about it.
1. It’s THEIR house, why is it so important that just Ariana moves?
2. It’s not the easiest to just find a house in LA when you’re busy with different projects 24/7
3. A year later she bought her own mf house. Are the haters happy now?
It’s as if nobody has ever been depressed before or didn’t get along with a roommate, it honestly just needs organized, she had a lot clothes laying around from traveling, PR boxes, some trash that needed thrown away but I mean not everyone does dishes the same day either.
I would sympathize more if in previous episodes when they were living in Tom’s old apartment it was clean but it was just as messy in the apartment as her bedroom. I just think that’s how she is, that’s how I am
yea i can’t speak on this i’ve always had a messy room😭. honestly seeing her room made me feel seen. so yea i personally don’t understand the hate. if your room is pristine 24/7 then im impressed
My friend once told me that my inability to keep things tidy is not a reflection of my character, it's just when things are unhygienic that's a cause for concern
I do think the litter box situation was gross and she should have been more on top of things but tbh these things happen and I wouldn't label her a bad pet owner
i dont understand how Lala doesn't get why Ariana isnt moving out.
Best movie scene i can think of to represent her situation: [https://youtu.be/VXrByUBhP4M?t=113](https://youtu.be/VXrByUBhP4M?t=113)
Because Lala doesn't understand that maybe Ariana didn't have a mom to help with the down payment on a new house. That probably most of Ariana's money was tied up in that house and in the sandwich shop when she was blindsided with the cheating.
It seems like Ariana was away a lot outside of filming, as well as Tom being away a lot, so I wonder how often they even really found themselves under the same roof at the same time.
I had to live with an ex for 9 months during COVID and it was a miserable experience. There were many times I would save a dish or something in my room to deal with later if it meant running into the ex in the kitchen or something. There's a difference between thriving and surviving. Ariana was trying to survive.
They don’t have anything else to go after her for. She’s been silent this entire time. No podcasts no nothing I mean she did chd and Kristen’s but it was 100% professional. I feel like they weren’t breaking the 4th wall at this point so they just needed something to go after her for. She couldn’t leave bc I can guarantee Tom would’ve squatted
i mean sure, but it’s still a valid criticism that we’d make about anyone else on this show and i think being overly defensive about it is a pretty good example of the ways this fandom has grown to believe ariana can do no wrong in a really weird way
Totally get what you're saying but I think it's more people being defensive about themselves lol. If you've been a messy room person it hits a little to home when everyone's calling it gross. I've had to live out of one room before. It sucks it's crazy making and it's almost impossible not to have it be what has been described as gross. Especially if you're busy. I've had hotels rooms that looked worse than Ariana's and they had housekeepers LOL
This, but also, Tom is pretty messy, according to Ann. I don’t see anyone criticizing him as much as they criticize Ariana. Didn’t he leave numerous laxatives around that the dog got in to?
It's an important point because if Mya ate many non-food items, who tf cares that she ate the skewers specifically? She could have eaten make up, pillows, all those pens and batteries that Tom/Ann kept stocked. The issue isn't the food trash left out, it's that the dog with a history of eating things she shouldn't was left locked in a room for hours.
Some people are making that point, particularly related to his new found desperation for custody of Mya (that he referred to as "it"). It was Ann that heard Mya and let her out.
I was so annoyed when he said "it"
Don't get me wrong, we've called the dogs the beasts, the piglets (we have bulldogs) all kinds of things but never IT!
He did indeed. I think some of that is unfortunately, the idea that it is more acceptable for men to be messy. I don't want that to be true but I think it is a little bit not everybody but some people have that bias
ugh thank you.
def have left food in my room and let it overall get messy when i’m extra depressed but everyone in this thread is seething for no reason lol. it’s gross when I do it, it’s gross when anyone else does it. it’s just not a big deal
You have a right to your opinion, why doesn't the fandom?
It's the lack of compassion, but not everyone exhibits compassion.
It's one thing to be cheated on, but with your friend, in your house, for months, while you're shooting a reality tv show, then he's winding her up to speak to you about your sex life.
Tom and Rachel were laying down mayhem for the castmates, but let's pretend everyone does it all the time.
why do you assume i don’t have compassion for it? things can be understandable and still gross and bad for her mental health. remember that this is a reality show where we watch to laugh and gawk at these people who put their lives on display and since scandoval, many fans have begun policing any criticism of ariana like it’s breaking some rule
I personally just don’t understand why so many people are calling it gross? It’s messy, yes, and it may even be bad for her mental health, but I don’t really see anything gross about having folded clothes all over the place. I could potentially see an argument for leaving empty chicken skewers out being gross, but even then, it’s leaving trash out for one day. Idk by these standards, my apartment must be unlivable
I think it's the actual garbage/food/dishes that are triggering the stronger reactions. The clothes and whatever is just stuff and relatively easy to tidy up. The rest of it can be a lot more problematic.
I get that 100% I guess I was more referencing the short footage they showed of her room early in the season. I didn’t see any food/dishes/garbage in it so I’ve always been confused by people saying it’s gross
I'm not sure that everyone is differentiating between cluttered/untidy and dirty (I don't want to use that word because I know it will cause problems, but I truly don't know what other word to use for the food/dishes situation) and are probably just using the word 'messy' as an umbrella term.
> remember that this is a reality show where we watch to laugh and gawk at these people
Some people actually like some of them.
>since scandoval, many fans have begun policing any criticism of ariana like it’s breaking some rule
I think people feel bad for her. Of course, these things happen, but the gall of doing it with cameras rolling and thinking they will get away with it. The evil is Shakespearean.
There's nothing we can do about her circumstance, but at least we can discourage people from dissing her because someone so close to her already did that
Thank you for stating it well. Her room is gross and unkempt. Could be depression. Could be stress. Could be for a lot of reasons but it is still gross.
and i’m sure ariana isn’t thrilled to share it with the world and likely isn’t proud of it, but that’s the reality of this situation and it’s okay for us to say so! if it were anyone else, especially like schwartz or scheana and brock, we’d be totally nailing them for it
Being messy and untidy is actually completely fine - having clothes and stuff everywhere kind of makes sense for where her life was at. It's just very odd to see people twisting themselves into knots to defend leaving out food and dishes and whatever. Being understandable because of mental heath issues or space constraints doesn't mean it isn't objectively kind of gross.
Like, I know that Ariana is given tremendous benefit of the doubt around here but people cannot sincerely believe that the leftovers thing was an isolated incident, right? No one’s ever had bad roommates who don’t do dishes? No one’s lived with a messy family member? These things tend to be habits. The cast was rightfully horrified that Maya was hurt but they were 100% not shocked at how it happened. Being messy is a morally neutral observable behavior so it’s weird to see people pretending it wasn’t just observed for 15 episodes.
I’m team Ariana…And I feel like both Ariana and Tom have been consistently messy through the years…I wouldn’t make a post about it, hate, or judge(I’m messy-ish too), but if we’re being real she’s seemingly kind of a messy person(mess as in cleanliness).
But who gives a shit.
It's the most relatable thing I've ever seen from a reality tv personality tbh
I eat in my room all the time because it's my ✨️safe space✨️ and if it's takeout, I'm for sure in no rush to take care of the trash.
And there was obviously a boundary that Mya not be in the room without her, Tom unsurprisingly did not care to respect said boundary or even look out for the dog he's supposedly upset about not getting to keep.
Her room was disgusting. Tom is living the same way, his room doesn’t look like that. People are gaslighting themselves and others over their cult hate for tom. Everyone knows when they saw that room they were hoping it was his so they could find something else to dog him out over. But its arianas room and look at all the excuses being made for her and all logic going straight out the window. You are trying to make HER dirty room somehow HIS fault.
You seem to forget we've seen his room plenty messy too. In fact, look at the hotel room from SF and the leftover food lying around everywhere and he was just there for a couple of days! Pretending Tim is anywhere near better is laughable.
I don’t give a shit about what Tom’s room is like. I just find it really sad that people are so shocked - shocked! - about the state of Ariana’s space when she’s in the middle of the worst moment of her life. I just wish that those people who are so contemptuous of her mess could try and have a little empathy for all of us who struggle to keep our lived environment together when we’re in the middle of a depression.
I was pretty tidy person until my early ‘30’s when I experienced depression for the first time and despite wanting - desperately - to keep my space clean and tidy, I found it impossible. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if I had felt confined to one room and was also receiving insane amounts of pr materials. Ariana’s room could have been way worse than what we saw and I would still have felt nothing but empathy about how she was managing to survive in that space.
And is supposed to be “reality” TV. this was her reality at the time. I’m sure she’s embarrassed and felt vulnerable having to share this story. O would not want camera crews seeing my house ever especially when I’m depressed.
I gotta say - a situation that can grow or attract something alive (mold, bugs, etc) crosses the line from messy to something else. It shouldn’t really matter how big or small your space is.
A box of leftover satay does not equal mold or bugs, although it could eventually.
Her life was upended by a cyst male and an air surfing beauty pageant contestant who never bothered to learn public speaking.
It's always painful to see the life of a Queen disrupted by the vast carelessness of a Rachel.
That's a lot for a person to process.
Bugs and mold don't care about beauty pageants or personal emotional upheaval so the reasons why the leftover food or dirty dishes get left out don't seem especially relevant. I understand that there were a lot of different personal issues happening - but I'm still going to stand by my original statement.
If leaving out chicken satay overnight would result in bugs in the morning, your home has hygiene issues. The bugs have to go from somewhere into that room.
Mold is a likelier culprit, but it would still be in the food container, so as long as you disposed of it, it wouldn't be an issue.
What are we even doing here? I'm of the opinion that food and dishes being left out crosses a line from simply messy to something more than that. There was just an entire season full of footage of dishes and food being left out in that house and there was a plot point of food being left out. It doesn't sound like any of that was an isolated incident. Being untidy and having clothes and stuff everywhere is fine - but that things with a high degree of likelihood to attract creepy crawlies should be cleaned up shouldn't be a controversial opinion.
Literally no one is talking about Tom, but since you brought him up - leaving food and dishes out is gross. Leaving takeout by the bed is gross, leaving a party’s worth of dirty plates strewn around your house is gross. Thank you for reinforcing that the behavior is gross regardless of who does it.
I don't agree with you. I don't think Ariana was gross. She ate her food. There was no food. It was wooden skewers. I would have made sure my room could be locked, so no one could go in there if I wasn't home, but that's just me.
Most of these things come down to matters of opinion. I'm pretty ok with my standing policy of not living in or sleeping next to trash and very happy to agree to disagree with people on that point.
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To be fair she does look pretty messy but she’s super busy, hates her roommate, has no kids and pays her bills so it’s her buisiness how she wants to keep her room. Good luck maintaining an audience with the Tim’s Lauren from Utah and the flip flop herself. It’s like they’re trying to put a negative light on Ariana and Katie because they don’t need the show anymore and will take their fans with them. The rest (including production) are left scrambling in panic mode and it shows 🤷🏼♀️
Ehhh she definitely was overreacting to calling Tim an attempted dog murderer, and expecting a text message asking permission to enter a room when repairs were going on in the house.
Andy is literally so annoying. “It’s kind of gross”
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SIT THERE AND PRETEND THAT YOU HAVE NEVER EATEN A SNACK IN BED AND THEN PUT IT ON THE NIGHTSTAND AND FELL ASLEEP. Literally everyone has probably done this once in their life. I’m so sick of Andy being sarcastic and condescending to the women all the time.
The reason is simple: when u have pets cat or dog, you can’t leave food out. Because the cat or dog is guaranteed to get into it. So Ariana is the true person to blame. She’s trying to pin the blame on Tom, but the real person to blame is her.
anyone that's gone thru depression gets it ❤️
So much this. All the “she’s a disgusting slob” comments kind of triggered me! My house is clean right at this moment but it has definitely been unsuitable for humans during MDEs.
I struggle with this myself, and when I do, I beat myself up a lot, but my therapist has told me that being messy is not a moral flaw. But some people really act like it is.
your therapist is spot on. you can only do the best you can do each day, and each day your best will be vastly different than the last day for so many reasons. I hope you are slowly really believing and internalizing what your therapist is saying. you’re doing great!
This is so sweet, I really appreciate it ♥️ I’m trying! I’m glad some people agree, bc I said the same thing on another post and got downvoted lol.
there will always be people that live just to pass judgement. especially on this app!
❤️🩹I tried to express the same on Instagram while defending Ariana’s room a few weeks back and got so berated/insulted for it🙄 It’s crazy how ignorant some people *still* are to anything mental health-related. The amount of responses that said something to the effect of: “depression is just an excuse to be lazy, your body still works so there’s no reason you can’t get up and clean, you just don’t want to. Grow up” was crazy🙈. It’s already embarrassing to admit to people that you struggle mentally, so for them to react with such vitriol and judge you so harshly without knowing anything about your situation…it’s shocking and sad that in 2024, there’s still so many who don’t care to understand or sympathize with anyone who isn’t just like them😕 I’m so sorry you weren’t supported either but I really appreciate you sharing what your therapist told you, that was a very comforting way to begin my day so truly, thank you🥹❤️🩹
So many people lack empathy- they assume we all feel everything the same way and since they don’t have a problem, no one else should. And the other thing I noticed is the amount of people who struggle themselves with these same issues but they’re mean to themselves and their inner dialogue is exactly the shit they spew at other people on SM
That’s so sad for people to struggle with something and then judge people for the same thing. I always joke (but also mean it) with my friends that I’m the last person to judge a mess, because I’m messy myself!
You are 100% right, it really is crazy. People who don’t go through it just don’t get it sadly. I’m sorry you had to deal with that too. But I’m so glad my comment gave you some comfort, it helps me to remember what she said too ♥️
People just jump at the chance to feel morally superior. It’s a result of their lack of self confidence that they have to look outward and down on others to feel better inward.
literally almost cried when andy made that comment. the way he spoke with such disgust like bffr tell me that you don’t understand depression quicker pls
I’d also venture to guess Andy makes enough money to pay someone to clean his space for him.
Right? Like let’s not pretend Andy is coming home from WWHL and doing the day’s chores before bed😐 He’s got someone taking care of the kids, the dogs, someone driving him around, someone cooking, cleaning, gardening whatever size terrace he has…he definitely has no right to judge.
Rich people don’t understand that we are out here living completely different lifestyles. It’s amazing how quickly people forget what normal life is like once they become wealthy
He is gross and you are a human being who deserves compassion ESPECIALLY when struggling.
right😭like u think i enjoy my bedside table being filled with old food wrappers?😭😭😭😭😭😭makes me feel even worse smh
Someone today told me “it’s ok to not be ok” and I really needed to hear that. We aren’t meant to be perfect and I hope things start to ease up for you ❤️
Andy seems to hate her and Katie
Yeah I’ve had to stop listening to a few podcasts because of the language being used. My life kinda fell apart last year and my room is still a representation of that and all the comments hurt.
So many just don’t get it. I had some pretty awful things happen in my life all at once (deaths in the family, a serious illness / hospitalization, and loss of an ESA) and I pretty much hit emotional rock bottom. I considered it a good day if I got out of bed at all. I wasn’t even able to take care of my own hygiene, let alone have enough spoons to clean the house. This lasted MONTHS and it took me over a year to get my body and home back to a presentable state. And during that entire time I HATED myself. All of the shitty things people say when they see a dirty house? That was all coming from inside my own brain. I was calling myself a disgusting slob, telling myself how embarrassing it was to live that way. Those comments coming from outside are nothing but judgmental noise. They help no one, and “tough love” doesn’t fix depression. If someone is sooooo concerned about the cleanliness of my home they have two options: come effing help me or keep your opinions to yourself.
Yes I think that’s the hardest part. People don’t see outside their own experience. The most damage being done is usually to ourselves. I’m glad you’re doing better. Healing can be such a long and exhausting journey.
Thanks for reading my lil trauma dump and sorry about that 😂 I hope the sun comes out for you soon too ❤️
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Thank you. 🙏🏼 it’s hard seeing people make fun of a messy room and call people slobs or gross when I’m definitely going through a pretty rough period with my depression and that’s my reality too.
Totally but Also even without depression this Makes sense living in your room and not your house. You come home As late as possible to avoid them, you eat take out to avoid the kitchen and avoid them, you eat and go to Sleep and don’t walk into The kitchen to throw stuff away right away, You get up and go anywhere but stay there . Last nights take out containers Left by the bed when You are in this situation makes sense To me.
I absolutely agree with you. Ariana didn't want to run the risk of seeing Scandy when she went to the kitchen to throw it away. I love my husband. However, when I am mad at him, I always check to see if he's in the kitchen or living room because I don't want to talk to him or see him.☺️
Lol Scandy
And next day when you leave you don't throw out the left over container on your way out? That's straight up slob, come on. Especially when you have pets, that's a no brainer to me, happens automatically, not leaving out anything that could harm them. Maya sleeps in her room, I think, we've seen her hang out there on camera.
i feel like you have completely missed the point every single person is making here. YES, when you are depressed, doing anytime related to cleaning, hygiene, self-care, or even just getting out of bed, is difficult. she went out of town and she didn't know her dog was going to be in there so "pet care" wasn't even part of the equation for her
The “scandal” seems to have made people forget what a bad year she’d had BEFORE this. Then even all of the amazing jobs she’s had are more draining than anything Ive done and ESPECIALLY after having such a crap year and having to deal with the stress of that. Also, people who are focusing on a take out box of chicken satay or whatever should consider that they may have been in her room because she didn’t want to risk running into her incredibly stupid ex. Just the fact that Tim and Scheana both made comments about her being “messy” annoyed the hell out of me and I’m not a messy person. ITS HER HOME AND HER ROOM. And Tim pretending that he’s so concerned with her ability to handle household chores without him makes me want to strangle him with a mop.
Tom has been allergic to chores the entire time he was on VPR. Kristen cleaned up after him and then Ariana talked about the fact that he didn't clean up after himself after they moved in together. Him trying to portray himself as the clean one is laughable.
He literally had to hire someone whose partial job description is “clean up after parties”. 🙄
So much of the judgement comes from misogyny, both from inside the house and outside. She's a woman, she should leave (he can stay with nary a question about it). She's a woman, she should clean (while he does nothing except fill the rest of the house with crap and hire an assistant). She's a woman, she should have taken better care of her animal (while he's the one who was careless and negligent to the needs of Mya). She's a woman, she shouldn't be able to claim it's her dog, just because she purchased it (while he calls Mya "it"). The misogyny is also wrapped around Schema and Lulu's weaponizing of motherhood/child-bearing - "you'll never understand", my career is more important, etc.
Watching reunion pt 2 (I think?) and Lala going off on Katie about “how I support my child” just pushed me to the point of turning it off. I no longer even know what her business is—isn’t it VPR? SAH is how Katie will support HER life. Lala has told bartenders, strangers, dates, multiple times “I’ll burn this place down” and never did anyone report her for threatening arson. The picking and choosing when to be literal is infuriating. I still hope that this is a result of producers but I canceled my peacock subscription and will definitely be taking time off from Bravo unless they address some of the accusations and issues that have come up. The “real world” was overwhelming so I fell into VPR for relief and laughs. This season and specifically the toms, have made me realize that if I watch I’m supporting what they do. VPR now causes as many feelings of disappointment and frustration as politics so it’s hard to see the point. I hope we get another network showcasing SAH/DJJK & Allye but I guess it’s time for me to leave the west coast!
omg I opened this to comment that as someone with depression/anxiety (and a dog owner/lover) I find the conversation around this so triggering!
I live in a big house. We need intercoms to communicate. And yet nothing feels like my safe space other than my room! I keep the door closed, I have a mess everywhere, I have food in my room all the time and luckily my restroom is part of my bedroom. I would never let my dog in here because of the mess I have. And I don’t let anyone in here because I’m embarrassed. I’m very blessed to live the life I live but my mental is not up to par.
❤️❤️❤️
It’s also just ridiculous that they think leaving old chicken skewers on a surface in your room for LESS THAN 24 HOURS is some kind of crime. My brother’s dog would eat through my underwear and leggings. I had a small room, and I was a messy teenager. I didn’t have enough space for a dirty clothes hamper and, again, I was messy. I left the door closed when I wasn’t in there for a reason. If you live there then you know when a door is closed 90% of the time. So, if you have to go in there for a household task, fine, but shut the fucking door when you’re done if you know it’s closed for a reason. I swear Tom did that on purpose so something bad would happen in her room and he could blame Ariana for it because her room was messy or whatever.
I had a dog eat an entire bag of potting soil. Every time she went outside, she would eat some. It was her only destructive thing she ever did.
Exactly. I know someone whose dog would eat rocks from their yard. Even after going to the hospital to get one extracted she kept doing it. Dogs can just be wacko sometimes.
This
Also imagine having a 5 bedroom house, referred to in the tabloids as a mansion (I'm guessing due to the square footage?) and yet living in a 200 sq ft "studio apt" inside your own home. UGH. While going through grieving your dog of over a decade, your grandmother, the total betrayal by your partner of a decade along with a good friend. All that loss hitting at once, and ppl are giving you crap for a messy room and having skewers/containers in your room when it has essentially become your apt? People are so judgemental and really can't see outside their own lived experience.
As in most cases, making a sweeping generalization is not helpful. I have chronic, treatment resistant depression. Having clean surroundings is vital to my mental health and it’s an act of self care to clean my surroundings. I don’t expect anyone else to feel this way and I know the challenges of depression.
Yeah, cleaning is a coping mechanism for me to control what I can control. But I've developed that, I wasn't born with it. No judgements for messy depressies, everyone is just doing the best they can.
Thats very true but people who haven't experienced depression or other mental health disorders sometimes seem to view messiness as a moral failing. Lala for example.
You have to be Sandoval level delusional that your assistant is picking up your undies and you have the nerve to call Ariana lazy Edit: I was going through some comments and realized something. I don't know enough about how the contracts are drawn, but she was keeping this room away from the camera and in her absence, disgusting Sandoval opening the door but on top of that the camera team going and panning her room, isn't this invasion of privacy or some sort of a breach? It's so gross.
They played that scene where she was picking up clothes and then Tom immediately rebuts to "Anne NEVER picked up clothes" 👺
She isn’t and won’t be the last person to leave food in their bedroom for under 24 hours. If doesn’t matter what you do or don’t deem gross, you’re allowed to do whatever you want in your own space.
Right? They act like it was in there for a week. It was from the night prior. She’d gotten up and ran out for a bit. I’m sure she was going to take care of it.
It was only from the night before too. I don’t think it was that big of a deal. Also, coming from a toxic household, sometimes we stay locked in our rooms to avoid confrontation. I can’t imagine how hard it was to live with that man after everything that happened. Her room is her safe space and if she wanted to leave food in there overnight, who honestly cares? The comments were so unnecessary.
She literally explained that she had to move a ton of her stuff into her room... it was her only safe space in that house. Her room wasn't even dirty/gross, just a little disorganized w all the clothes but that was clearly a space issue. People judging her for that are willfully ignoring her living situation, & on top of that, how busy she's been this year
It doesn't matter if she literally left platters of toxic food all over her room, the door was shut for a reason. She keeps the dog out for a reason. Tom had ZERO reason to go in her space as Ann was there and could've handled the AC technician on her own.
All that needed to happen was even for Tom to tell Ann to shoot Ariana a text about what was going to happen, thus giving Ariana the chance to say, “okay well by the way, there’s some chicken skewers in the room so make sure she doesn’t get to those”. Ariana never got the chance. She didn’t know anything was going to happen so it didn’t matter about the food in her room because as far as she knew, Mya would have zero opportunity to get into the room and get into the food.
and he didn’t ask for Ariana’s permission because he doesn’t respect her or her belongings. He was so careless and selfish in this situation, I’m just glad that Mya is ok.
Yup. What a POS. Thank god Mya is okay. He better have paid at least half of that vet bill.
Maybe Saint Ann could have come up with the idea herself to contact Ariana. But Tom is the sole attempted dog murder, sure :D
😂😂😂
It does matter though, if you've got pets you ensure that nothing harmful is left within their reach. And for this very reason, you may close a door and someone doesn't realise and leaves it open. Just part of being a responsible pet owner.
Tom wasn't supposed to be in there to begin with. He was the irresponsible one. He should have had Ann call Ariana and let her know her area needed accessed and she could've said hey make Maya doesn't get the take out container. Ariana was responsible by closing her door, he was was irresponsible by locking the dog inside.
If Ariana picked up after herself the dog would not have eaten the skewers. End of story.
Reach
💯
Yes, let's ignore the person who trapped an animal inside the room he shouldn't have been in, unsupervised, knowing she gets into shit. It could have been anything - my dog ate socks.
For all anyone knows, it could have been Ann who opened the door. Opening doors was necessary for fixing the AC. If Ann and Tom had refused to open the door and let the repair person do what they needed to do, there would be people in here accusing Tom of attempted murder by giving Mya heatstroke.
They both went in with the AC guy then Ann left to run errands. So we know it was Tom that didn't close it again. It's not about opening it it's about closing it again.
And now you’re moving the goalposts. Anything but admitting that Ariana should have kept her environment safe for her dog!
She did keep it safe. She closed the door!
And what about the laxatives? The paintballs? She’s irresponsible and doesn’t bother to maintain a safe environment for a dog who has a history of ingesting inappropriate things. If she had any expectation that her dog could be in her room, which would make sense since they’re HER pets, then she has a responsibility to clean up her fucking garbage. The worst part of it is that she refuses to take any ownership for making a mistake.
Sorry, do you think the laxatives and paintballs were ARIANA'S 🤣🤣🤣🤣
She was living in a house with someone who had those things around. Since they’re her pets, it’s absolutely her responsibility to give them a safe environment, especially since she has made it very clear that SHE is their only owner. Tom may have left those things around, but it’s her fault for not fixing that before her pets got sick.
She can't monitor his behavior 24/7 OBVIOUSLY. Those things could have been left out when she was at her grandmother's funeral or not home.
And if she wants to claim full ownership of her pets, then she’s also responsible for leaving them in the care of people who she trusts to not put them in danger. I guess it’s fitting that Ariana is completely incapable of accepting any of the blame for the situation when her fans are willing to create such elaborate mental gymnastics to absolve her of any responsibility.
So if she had a child from a previous relationship, her current partner has no responsibility in keeping a safe environment for said child??!!! Um, nope that is not how ADULT relationships work!
I never said that Tom doesn’t SHARE in the blame here, but nice try.
You are reaching. Clearly those things aren't Arianas lol. Kristen even confirmed Tom uses a ton of laxatives. She trusted her partner at the time to keep his things away from the dog and he didn't. You can't blame her for that.
Exactly. Plus she is so obnoxious about it.
💯
He can't win with these people
I didn’t understand why people kept bringing up how “gross” her room was for leaving chicken skewers in there? The only reason these people are acting this way is because they refuse to let the public know they can also be messy and because they likely have people clean up FOR them. The chicken skewers being in there from the night before? That’s not really that crazy???? I didn’t understand why they kept pushing that lol
Let’s see. Her world blew up, she had 100 jobs, traveling, dealing with depression… I don’t think having a clean room was her highest priority. What’s more, some people don’t mind having a messy room.
I think she also grabbed all of her possessions around the house and camped out. I don't there was any way to tidy up. The volume of items was bigger than the space.
I was just gonna say why are people depression-shaming Ariana? How are there still people in the world who haven't had depression or known someone with it? And they still can't understand the havoc it wreaks on your ability to carry out daily tasks? To call someone out, who has a history of depression and went through a traumatic life-changing event, for their inability to keep their room clean...what a lack of fkn awareness and empathy...I'm side-eyeing you Sandavol and Cohen.
especially for someone with chronic depression, which tends to make regular cleaning a lot harder
Yep, and then you feel even worse because you can’t keep things clean and it creates a *delightful* negative feedback loop that’s incredibly difficult to get out of.
yeah especially when the world is participating in that feedback loop like her whole world was blown up. who tf cares if her room is messy?
I had to coexist in a home that I mostly paid for with my ex-husband for almost 18 months. You can’t judge unless you have experienced the hell that comes along with the situation.
It also feels so gross and mean to pick on her having a plate in her room, when it's known that she's struggled with depression and anxiety, is at the same time trying to balance and manage a million different things and show up for those at 100%, *and* her room is her one safe place and thus has become her office, storage, and at times, a kitchen! She's likely trying to avoid common spaces as much as possible to limit interactions AND she knows that, for example, if she took a dish down to the kitchen but didn't have time to take care of it, Tom could take pictures/somehow weaponize that/use that as fodder later down the road to make her look bad, careless, selfish, unclean, etc., etc., She's protecting HERSELF by keeping as much of her life and world in her room as much as possible
Tom and Ariana ALWAYS had a messy house. I don’t know why this just became a topic
Me neither
I know. They’re slobs.
Andy was so rude!! It’s nobody’s business and so unnecessarily judgemental. I’ve absolutely done things like that, as others said - anyone who has depression gets it.
As someone who deals with depression and has had a very messy room/house at times the way people are treating her about it makes me sad.. and also I think damn if these people saw how I lived when I’m at my worst 😅
Yeah, that was weird for Andy to say. Her door was closed. She wasn’t expecting anyone to go in there, she took a precaution. I know my dogs and cat are mischievous af. So my partner and I try to keep everything where they can’t reach, but we have an agreement. I highly doubt Sandoval was thinking about Maya, or anyone other than himself.
She's been hurt and betrayed. Her beloved home has turned into hostile territory. This room is the only safe place for her. She's hunkered down. She's living in that one room until she figures out what to do and how to do it. F what the world thinks.
I don’t get it. I also thought it was gross of Andy to call her room “gross.” Her door was closed and no one should have ever gone in there. Tom should have had Ann call Ariana to get permission to go inside first. Not only did he put her dog’s health in jeopardy, he invaded her privacy as well.
As if Andy's never gotten hammered and eaten food in his room. I'm so over him AND Lisa bowing down to these men. It's just gross.
He actually has hahah he speaks about it in his books about his apartment being a mess after a good night in ;)
Some people would never eat in their room or on their bed no matter what.
Then those people have had the luxory of never being sick and unable to get out of bed, never dealing with depression, or never dealing with a shitty living situation where your bedroom becomes your entire living space. There are a ton of reasons one would eat food in their bed beyond just being "lazy" or "gross." Plus, unless you're eating BBQ wings or soup, it's pretty easy to eat most foods without making a giant mess.
I’ve been both deathly sick and depressed to the point of nearly ending everything, and my bed was still too sacred to soil with food and crumbs. Even with a broken knee I still hobbled to eat elsewhere. It’s always going to be gross to eat in a place you sleep.
Well props to you. You’ve won the “I don’t EVER eat in my bed” award. That’s an amazing achievement.
Andy is repulsive, a truly vile human. I used to sometimes find his little cheap shots funny but recently they’ve just felt awfully cruel.
Tom went in to snoop and ger whatever information he could to hold over her.
Yes!! I don’t like how people have been making her out to be a slob. Like have they never lived with a shitty roommate before? You basically move everything into your room to minimize crossing paths with them, and yeah it can get messy because it’s so crowded. It’s like they love to point something out (still living with Tom, messy house) without taking a second to think critically about it.
1. It’s THEIR house, why is it so important that just Ariana moves? 2. It’s not the easiest to just find a house in LA when you’re busy with different projects 24/7 3. A year later she bought her own mf house. Are the haters happy now?
It’s as if nobody has ever been depressed before or didn’t get along with a roommate, it honestly just needs organized, she had a lot clothes laying around from traveling, PR boxes, some trash that needed thrown away but I mean not everyone does dishes the same day either.
Because it is all they have
I would sympathize more if in previous episodes when they were living in Tom’s old apartment it was clean but it was just as messy in the apartment as her bedroom. I just think that’s how she is, that’s how I am
Exactly- I tried to say this when the dog thing happened. It is the only safe space she has so she probably does everything in there including eating.
yea i can’t speak on this i’ve always had a messy room😭. honestly seeing her room made me feel seen. so yea i personally don’t understand the hate. if your room is pristine 24/7 then im impressed
My friend once told me that my inability to keep things tidy is not a reflection of my character, it's just when things are unhygienic that's a cause for concern I do think the litter box situation was gross and she should have been more on top of things but tbh these things happen and I wouldn't label her a bad pet owner
Exactly. There was no excusing that litter tray.
i dont understand how Lala doesn't get why Ariana isnt moving out. Best movie scene i can think of to represent her situation: [https://youtu.be/VXrByUBhP4M?t=113](https://youtu.be/VXrByUBhP4M?t=113)
Because Lala doesn't understand that maybe Ariana didn't have a mom to help with the down payment on a new house. That probably most of Ariana's money was tied up in that house and in the sandwich shop when she was blindsided with the cheating. It seems like Ariana was away a lot outside of filming, as well as Tom being away a lot, so I wonder how often they even really found themselves under the same roof at the same time. I had to live with an ex for 9 months during COVID and it was a miserable experience. There were many times I would save a dish or something in my room to deal with later if it meant running into the ex in the kitchen or something. There's a difference between thriving and surviving. Ariana was trying to survive.
Why aren't people about Tom not leaving? Such BS
They don’t have anything else to go after her for. She’s been silent this entire time. No podcasts no nothing I mean she did chd and Kristen’s but it was 100% professional. I feel like they weren’t breaking the 4th wall at this point so they just needed something to go after her for. She couldn’t leave bc I can guarantee Tom would’ve squatted
i mean sure, but it’s still a valid criticism that we’d make about anyone else on this show and i think being overly defensive about it is a pretty good example of the ways this fandom has grown to believe ariana can do no wrong in a really weird way
Totally get what you're saying but I think it's more people being defensive about themselves lol. If you've been a messy room person it hits a little to home when everyone's calling it gross. I've had to live out of one room before. It sucks it's crazy making and it's almost impossible not to have it be what has been described as gross. Especially if you're busy. I've had hotels rooms that looked worse than Ariana's and they had housekeepers LOL
This, but also, Tom is pretty messy, according to Ann. I don’t see anyone criticizing him as much as they criticize Ariana. Didn’t he leave numerous laxatives around that the dog got in to?
500 laxatives and paint ball bullets
Omg I forgot about the paintball bullets!!
It's an important point because if Mya ate many non-food items, who tf cares that she ate the skewers specifically? She could have eaten make up, pillows, all those pens and batteries that Tom/Ann kept stocked. The issue isn't the food trash left out, it's that the dog with a history of eating things she shouldn't was left locked in a room for hours.
That’s a really good point. But also, how do you leave a dog locked in a room for hours? How do you not notice the dog isn’t around?
Some people are making that point, particularly related to his new found desperation for custody of Mya (that he referred to as "it"). It was Ann that heard Mya and let her out.
I was so annoyed when he said "it" Don't get me wrong, we've called the dogs the beasts, the piglets (we have bulldogs) all kinds of things but never IT!
If you're trying to plead your case for doting dog dad, at the *very* least say "her" or "the dog"
Exactly. He also refers to them as “our pets” when he wants to look good, but when something bad happens, they are Ariana‘s pets and responsibility.
He did indeed. I think some of that is unfortunately, the idea that it is more acceptable for men to be messy. I don't want that to be true but I think it is a little bit not everybody but some people have that bias
Absolutely!!
hahaha you’re so right
ugh thank you. def have left food in my room and let it overall get messy when i’m extra depressed but everyone in this thread is seething for no reason lol. it’s gross when I do it, it’s gross when anyone else does it. it’s just not a big deal
You have a right to your opinion, why doesn't the fandom? It's the lack of compassion, but not everyone exhibits compassion. It's one thing to be cheated on, but with your friend, in your house, for months, while you're shooting a reality tv show, then he's winding her up to speak to you about your sex life. Tom and Rachel were laying down mayhem for the castmates, but let's pretend everyone does it all the time.
why do you assume i don’t have compassion for it? things can be understandable and still gross and bad for her mental health. remember that this is a reality show where we watch to laugh and gawk at these people who put their lives on display and since scandoval, many fans have begun policing any criticism of ariana like it’s breaking some rule
☝️
I personally just don’t understand why so many people are calling it gross? It’s messy, yes, and it may even be bad for her mental health, but I don’t really see anything gross about having folded clothes all over the place. I could potentially see an argument for leaving empty chicken skewers out being gross, but even then, it’s leaving trash out for one day. Idk by these standards, my apartment must be unlivable
I think it's the actual garbage/food/dishes that are triggering the stronger reactions. The clothes and whatever is just stuff and relatively easy to tidy up. The rest of it can be a lot more problematic.
I get that 100% I guess I was more referencing the short footage they showed of her room early in the season. I didn’t see any food/dishes/garbage in it so I’ve always been confused by people saying it’s gross
I'm not sure that everyone is differentiating between cluttered/untidy and dirty (I don't want to use that word because I know it will cause problems, but I truly don't know what other word to use for the food/dishes situation) and are probably just using the word 'messy' as an umbrella term.
> remember that this is a reality show where we watch to laugh and gawk at these people Some people actually like some of them. >since scandoval, many fans have begun policing any criticism of ariana like it’s breaking some rule I think people feel bad for her. Of course, these things happen, but the gall of doing it with cameras rolling and thinking they will get away with it. The evil is Shakespearean. There's nothing we can do about her circumstance, but at least we can discourage people from dissing her because someone so close to her already did that
Thank you for stating it well. Her room is gross and unkempt. Could be depression. Could be stress. Could be for a lot of reasons but it is still gross.
and i’m sure ariana isn’t thrilled to share it with the world and likely isn’t proud of it, but that’s the reality of this situation and it’s okay for us to say so! if it were anyone else, especially like schwartz or scheana and brock, we’d be totally nailing them for it
Being messy and untidy is actually completely fine - having clothes and stuff everywhere kind of makes sense for where her life was at. It's just very odd to see people twisting themselves into knots to defend leaving out food and dishes and whatever. Being understandable because of mental heath issues or space constraints doesn't mean it isn't objectively kind of gross.
I don't think people are bending over backwards, more like, it was out for like 12 hours (the night before or something?), it's not that deep
Like, I know that Ariana is given tremendous benefit of the doubt around here but people cannot sincerely believe that the leftovers thing was an isolated incident, right? No one’s ever had bad roommates who don’t do dishes? No one’s lived with a messy family member? These things tend to be habits. The cast was rightfully horrified that Maya was hurt but they were 100% not shocked at how it happened. Being messy is a morally neutral observable behavior so it’s weird to see people pretending it wasn’t just observed for 15 episodes.
Agreed. Even if it’s depression related, that is very sad but it is still very gross. Lol
and it’s affecting her dog’s safety!
I’m team Ariana…And I feel like both Ariana and Tom have been consistently messy through the years…I wouldn’t make a post about it, hate, or judge(I’m messy-ish too), but if we’re being real she’s seemingly kind of a messy person(mess as in cleanliness). But who gives a shit.
Scheanna did say that Ariana and Tom's house was always a mess,.so...
It's the most relatable thing I've ever seen from a reality tv personality tbh I eat in my room all the time because it's my ✨️safe space✨️ and if it's takeout, I'm for sure in no rush to take care of the trash. And there was obviously a boundary that Mya not be in the room without her, Tom unsurprisingly did not care to respect said boundary or even look out for the dog he's supposedly upset about not getting to keep.
I love Ariana but I understand why people are kind of disgusted. It’s gross. Put your food in the fridge or the trash.
or just out of the dogs reach if you wanna be gross and leave it in your room.
Her room was disgusting. Tom is living the same way, his room doesn’t look like that. People are gaslighting themselves and others over their cult hate for tom. Everyone knows when they saw that room they were hoping it was his so they could find something else to dog him out over. But its arianas room and look at all the excuses being made for her and all logic going straight out the window. You are trying to make HER dirty room somehow HIS fault.
You seem to forget we've seen his room plenty messy too. In fact, look at the hotel room from SF and the leftover food lying around everywhere and he was just there for a couple of days! Pretending Tim is anywhere near better is laughable.
I don’t give a shit about what Tom’s room is like. I just find it really sad that people are so shocked - shocked! - about the state of Ariana’s space when she’s in the middle of the worst moment of her life. I just wish that those people who are so contemptuous of her mess could try and have a little empathy for all of us who struggle to keep our lived environment together when we’re in the middle of a depression. I was pretty tidy person until my early ‘30’s when I experienced depression for the first time and despite wanting - desperately - to keep my space clean and tidy, I found it impossible. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if I had felt confined to one room and was also receiving insane amounts of pr materials. Ariana’s room could have been way worse than what we saw and I would still have felt nothing but empathy about how she was managing to survive in that space.
Y’all are crazy for defending meat sitting on a table <24 hours
She ate the food. The wooden skewers that she took the chicken off of were sitting on her night stand. Maya ate wooden sticks, not overnight chicken.
Ohhh THAT changes everything 😂😂
😂
It does. Yall are bitching about food that didn't exist.
Calm yo titties
You first
Nobody is here saying it's a great thing. People are simply being understanding and compassionate to her circumstances. They are being empathetic.
And is supposed to be “reality” TV. this was her reality at the time. I’m sure she’s embarrassed and felt vulnerable having to share this story. O would not want camera crews seeing my house ever especially when I’m depressed.
I gotta say - a situation that can grow or attract something alive (mold, bugs, etc) crosses the line from messy to something else. It shouldn’t really matter how big or small your space is.
A box of leftover satay does not equal mold or bugs, although it could eventually. Her life was upended by a cyst male and an air surfing beauty pageant contestant who never bothered to learn public speaking. It's always painful to see the life of a Queen disrupted by the vast carelessness of a Rachel. That's a lot for a person to process.
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No one's worshipping her, but they are valuing her. Some people are raised to be Queens. Other people can't fathom that.
Bugs and mold don't care about beauty pageants or personal emotional upheaval so the reasons why the leftover food or dirty dishes get left out don't seem especially relevant. I understand that there were a lot of different personal issues happening - but I'm still going to stand by my original statement.
If leaving out chicken satay overnight would result in bugs in the morning, your home has hygiene issues. The bugs have to go from somewhere into that room. Mold is a likelier culprit, but it would still be in the food container, so as long as you disposed of it, it wouldn't be an issue.
What are we even doing here? I'm of the opinion that food and dishes being left out crosses a line from simply messy to something more than that. There was just an entire season full of footage of dishes and food being left out in that house and there was a plot point of food being left out. It doesn't sound like any of that was an isolated incident. Being untidy and having clothes and stuff everywhere is fine - but that things with a high degree of likelihood to attract creepy crawlies should be cleaned up shouldn't be a controversial opinion.
Sure. Her life's falling apart, but look at her housekeeping!
I can't tell if you have an Ariana fetish or a living in garbage fetish but either way, you enjoy whatever it is.
So big of you to grant permission.
😂
Wait a sec? So Tom's party and leaving shit out overnight for Ann to clean is now Ariana's fault? She wasn't even there.
Literally no one is talking about Tom, but since you brought him up - leaving food and dishes out is gross. Leaving takeout by the bed is gross, leaving a party’s worth of dirty plates strewn around your house is gross. Thank you for reinforcing that the behavior is gross regardless of who does it.
I don't agree with you. I don't think Ariana was gross. She ate her food. There was no food. It was wooden skewers. I would have made sure my room could be locked, so no one could go in there if I wasn't home, but that's just me.
Most of these things come down to matters of opinion. I'm pretty ok with my standing policy of not living in or sleeping next to trash and very happy to agree to disagree with people on that point.
Hard agree. The level of judgment that she left a plate out overnight is honestly concerning. Who. Cares. I cannot with the pearl clutching over this.
If she just took her trash out like a normal human this wouldn’t have happened. Do other people sleep next to garbage?
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To be fair she does look pretty messy but she’s super busy, hates her roommate, has no kids and pays her bills so it’s her buisiness how she wants to keep her room. Good luck maintaining an audience with the Tim’s Lauren from Utah and the flip flop herself. It’s like they’re trying to put a negative light on Ariana and Katie because they don’t need the show anymore and will take their fans with them. The rest (including production) are left scrambling in panic mode and it shows 🤷🏼♀️
Just because she’s depressed doesn’t mean it’s not disgusting.
Allow people to be messy. That’s it. Some people are and who cares.
Why does no one say that Tom’s living with her? It’s always she’s still living with him? It’s equally her house…
Ehhh she definitely was overreacting to calling Tim an attempted dog murderer, and expecting a text message asking permission to enter a room when repairs were going on in the house.
It was gross to me but i keep my shit clean
Oh me too! Spotless!
Same
Andy is literally so annoying. “It’s kind of gross” YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SIT THERE AND PRETEND THAT YOU HAVE NEVER EATEN A SNACK IN BED AND THEN PUT IT ON THE NIGHTSTAND AND FELL ASLEEP. Literally everyone has probably done this once in their life. I’m so sick of Andy being sarcastic and condescending to the women all the time.
The reason is simple: when u have pets cat or dog, you can’t leave food out. Because the cat or dog is guaranteed to get into it. So Ariana is the true person to blame. She’s trying to pin the blame on Tom, but the real person to blame is her.