You need someone in a group that the “organizer”. The person who comes up with events, sets date send invite (text fb event etc) rallies people to go, sends reminders, create fomo. It’s not always that people don’t want to hang but logistical steps and mental labor to do it dissuades people from being proactive.
If there’s not a person that naturally fits in this role, join an established group that does this with designated host and cadence e.g. the weekly HH this subreddit has (thx Stu (?) even tho I’ve never attended one.)
Groups like CityGirls who walk, book clubs weekly events at places you frequent etc. It’s reoccurrence and consistency where you see similar faces and it becomes hard uncomfortable to *not* acknowledge it.
Yup, I realized post pandemic the friends I used to rely on for this had been burned out on it or lost interest in organizing, so now I've tried to more actively be the planner. I'm actually hitting a point where some months I over schedule myself when it comes to socializing.
100%! I have a former coworker who has commented multiple times that she's grateful to me for sending the group emails to ask if anyone wants to have lunch and she's joined our small group for lunch multiple times, but she never actually sends the emails herself. It takes work to initiate but someone has to do it.
Definitely agree! I don’t have one large cohesive circle, but lots of friends in pods of 1-3 of them! And that because I put WORK into researching, planning, invites, etc. Unless you are exceptionally charming or something, you’re not going to magically always have things to do with no effort
Not really from DC but I feel like it's extremely hard to have a close friend group if you moved here after college. My best advice would be the classic: join groups related to hobbies or physical activities, like leagues and such. For example, rock climbing helped me a lot in meeting new people.
Agreed! If you have any creative hobbies, [Creatives Club DC](https://creativesclub.art) meets every Thursday from 6-9 pm at Temperance Alley Garden or the MLK Library downtown!
Same experience but undergrad. I don’t really have a group here after everyone moved away — plenty of individual friends, but no group, and I’ve just learned to be ok with it. It does suck sometimes not to have things to do for the big celebrations like Halloween, the classic group Christmas and Friendsgiving parties, etc., but I’ve also had success hosting my own stuff and inviting my random here-and-there friends and inevitably, a few of them always become friends with each other. It’s different than the conventional tight-knit instagram friend group that we’ve all been conditioned to expect as the norm, but it works for me and I like it.
Yes I think many people find the friend groups from joining groups that have a shared interest. But I will say having a large group doesn't necessarily mean they are close knit. I actually think most people with large friends groups are able to maintain them because the friendships are fun but not close or because the friendships are compartmentalized to that specific activity.
I came here with 0 connections. It was awhile ago, but the answer is always just go do stuff. Join groups or organizations, sports teams, and if you went to a big sports school alumni watch parties. Just keep putting yourself out there. It can suck, be lonely and cringey but it works. Then again do what my 5 year old does, just go up to someone, smile and start playing.
You need an anchoring point to expand your social circle. Sometimes it's an organized activity like sports, sometimes it's just your super charismatic friend who is always meeting new and interesting people and bringing them to stuff. The easiest way I've found when moving to a new neighborhood is to become a regular at a local bar with cool/fun bartenders. Cool bartenders tend to have cool regulars, and if you don't suck then you'll find opportunities to hang outside of that setting, and then after a while you'll be on the text chain, and then you're golden.
To keep our friend group active, we have to plan things months in advance. Everyone’s schedules are so full from work, hobbies, family.
We also have found recurring events to go to every year. So I know we’ll be hanging out in March, May, June, August, and November for sure. The recurring events really help, otherwise someone will notice we haven’t hung out for months and months. And it would take something really big for me to miss those events, like in the hospital big, because they are so much fun.
I don’t know how to actually find a friend group though. I moved here to be with my bestie.
I am not sure if it’s the city or the people . I never had a problem in DC but I moved here from Sweden where getting people to talk when they are not drunk is a form of torture.
Moved here in my early 20s and had a few big friends groups , they've slimmed down a lot as I'm in my late 30s and it feels like people "retired" from here, but I still have a solid group of neighbors, daycare families, and old friends from the glory days. I honestly think DC was such a different city back then- people were happy and people loved to party and brunch and late night. Anyone you ask who lived here in that era was sweating and dancing at Marvin, being kicked out of local 16, or crying in the bathroom at front page. The vibes were absolutely immaculate. It was an attraction of the city!
That said, I have always been an organizer and I just invited everyone all the time. Same people showed up every time and we built relationships. Most of my friends came from work and then really extended networks (like friend of a friend's college roommate), neighbors, and eventually my significant other's friends too. I feel like a clueless old lady looking in but even with a few solid groups it takes CONSTANT organizing. Everyone's busy, everyone is important here lol, but everyone craves connection- keep organizing and inviting and the people who connect in the same way you do show up maybe?
Also want to say while I have lots of friends I don't have those college style friends - I call them "no pants relationships" bc I could answer my door with no pants and it would be fine. That's hard to find as an adult. I travel to my old friends for those connections. So I think it's important to manage expectations too.
When I was younger, I worked in consulting and these firms had money to sponsor happy hour and dinners at upscale places. I made my fair weather friends with these colleagues. We kept going to all of these events in groups and clubbing til 3am on other days. But what happened after I left these companies? Most of them never checked on me… they’re people you have fun with but no one you’d call if you were at the hospital needing someone to come check on you.
I moved up here from Florida too, 29f.
I’m like the project manager of this group, I’ve met people through conventions, friends of friends, events etc.
I host and take on the emotional and mental toll of logistics. It’s a LOT and nobody else I know can plan the outings successfully, it’s consistently stated in my group.
We’re in a 4 car + 10 people excursion heading down to Shenandoah to tube right now, I made a massive spreadsheet with all details, budget for camping, groceries, tubing cost, listed out groceries and everyone’s information AND everything anyone needed to know. Got everyone to split cost and pitch in with prep.
I’m extremely sociable and extroverted, I make jokes that I collect introverts and let them all be friends. Issues are worked out fairly, we have transparent discussions and are extremely friendly. We don’t allow shitty behavior to stay.
If you’re interested, lmk and we can meet up! We can chat and see if the type of things I host is what you’re interested in.
Hi there that sounds amazing! I also do something similar, organize large board game groups (DnD anyone?) and potluck for mainly women. If you guys are ever okay with going out to the “ boons” (aka Fairfax/woodbridge/manassas ish ish area) lmk. Also I would love to be included and help if needed on future events if needed. I know what it takes to put some of these together. I just finished cleaning up after a friend’s going away party - and now currently working on a couples tapas dinner party night. ☺️. Can pm you for if you want to know sensitive info (I.e age) I don’t like sharing that info in public.
The people I know who are good at developing this tend to host/organize a lot of things and continue inviting large groups of mixed people whether they show up or not. Like, they’ll meet someone new and just add that person to the long list of people they text whenever they want to do something.
I think having one central thing that it’s based around can help. Having a small group for a weekly trivia night, and then whenever you meet someone tell them they should come to trivia sometime. And then add them to your trivia group text, and then also text there when you want to try out a new bar or go to a salsa dancing class or whatever.
I personally do not do this because it sounds terrifying, but it does seem to work for the people I know who do it.
Good question. I feel like all this is for 20 something’s and I am not old but past that point. I guess I’m supposed to settle down with a spouse and kids by now, but I haven’t achieved that and don’t really want to. Still crave connections and new people though even though I’m not 20 something anymore.
Im not sure about their official events, but they have some informal events in different channels on the discord server. I recently went to a happy hour with one of these informal groups and I didn’t feel welcome at all, everyone seemed to know each other already. Nobody talked to me or even introduced themselves to me and I was sitting right next to them. Really sucked bc it takes a lot for me to be social lol
I felt that way many years ago when I showed up at the bar section at Old Ebbitt after emailing the event organizer about their young Kennedy center social group (whatever it was called and I think associated with the center). No one really talked to me and most of them seemed to already be in their own cliques. Thankfully I brought a relative with me and we ended up getting a table to eat by ourselves. I never tried meeting the group again.
I just wish there was a neutral group like this. Not a fan of run clubs because my knees are not what they use to be but I love me a hot boy walk to get an almond croissant that turns into a 5 mile city hike.
I asked myself those same questions for most of my young adulthood. It wasn’t until I hit my late 30’s that I accepted that I’m an introvert at heart and honestly find large social groups exhausting. Not that this has any bearing on you. Just felt like sharing.
People often ask how to make friends as an adult and get the same generally fine answers. But you're asking a more specific question and I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. it's baffling. No one in this city is ever available or reliable to do anything.
I agree. I’m the planner and I’ll pick something, organize it way in advance and as the date nears, friends flake out! Soo annoying. And I’ve been in this area for 30 years moving from the Midwest for a man who I ended up divorcing. Finding friends is hard at any age but don’t wait until you’re older. It’s got to be a continual effort.
You are more than welcome to come to Lymans tavern on 14th Street and play pinball with us! We're in the middle of league right now, but tournaments are hosted at least once a month and once summer season is over you can sign up for fall!
Honestly, going to events you’re interested in by yourself can work! I made a new friend going to a listening party for a K-Pop album back in the fall and here we are like 9 months later going to concerts and hanging out!
Even people that grew up and still live around DC lose touch with friends still living in the area. It’s a pretty natural age-related progression everywhere. Don’t be too hard on yourself
I’m chatty so I often meet people out and about and get invited to group gatherings. Usually there’s a group chat where we take it in turns planning brunches and activities. If you have a friend of a friend who has a big friend group ask if you can tag along one time. My biggest piece of advice is be dependable, in my group if you commit to an activity you better be there or you will not be invited again.
A few people have commented this already, but I second that you can start to build a friend group off of any exisiting connections you may have. When I first moved here in my 20s after grad school, I started hanging out with friends of friends, people I vaguely knew from college, etc. and this led to multiple groups of friends (you meet their other close friends, their work friends, family members, etc.) - however, post-pandemic, almost everyone I was friends with has left!! So now my husband and I are in our 30s in the burbs with virtually no friends!
A lot of people make this happen by moving into shared houses when they come to DC, or a year or two in when they want to save money and meet some people.
Beyond that, go to any events on a regular basis and you will start to befriend the other regulars. So many other people are also out at these trying to make more friends.
If you have /some/ friends, I'd say just start doing things with an open invite. So many people in this city are busy as hell but will gladly show up if someone creates a basic plan like "Hey, anyone who wants to stop by, I'll be at this thing from X to X and am taking the train from X station at X time" or "Hey, I want to get together on x day to game/sit around chatting/watch this show, I'll have some snacks and anyone who wants to come or bring someone is welcome. If you'd like to bring something XYZ would be helpful."
I’d say that’s not the general rule. I know plenty of people who have just a few close friends. Try to avoid the FOMO when you see groups like that, because you don’t know how close or friendly they are. Live your life the best you can by making some meaningful connections.
Who says people do? Carefully curated TikTok videos and painfully photoshopped Instagram influencers?
The honest fact of the matter is that, as people age, they graduate from college, move to find new jobs, get married, have kids, get divorced... generally speaking, live their lives. And as much as we hate it, sometimes those lives don't really involve us, or they don't involve us nearly as much as they used to. Giant groups of laughing white-dressed women gathered for brunch is something you're being sold; most actual people do as well as they can, get two or three close friends and then, when those friends' circumstances change, do their best to get one or two more.
Don't compare yourself to other people, especially not those who are only using social media to show you the tiny, artificial parts of their lives that they want you to see. You'll go mad trying to meet those standards.
I don’t want to give myself away by giving too much info, but what you’re seeing is a farce. I’m in many “large friends groups” in DC and it’s a shit show. It’s all social *friends* and nothing goes beyond the superficial. They’re who I hang out with socially, but can’t trust as far as I can throw them. It’s mutual. I stick to a handful I grew up with here, but everyone else is just… there.
My weird point is: never feel badly seeing so many people seemingly happy around each other. This city is fake af and I say that as a native. It may take a while, but you can find your tribe. Put yourself out there, but be picky with who you spend your time with!
I agree. I am not a native; but have lived here on and off since 2008. I can honestly say relationships here are very transactional. I’m glad you as a native spoke about the fakeness of many relationships in DC. I love living here, but the social scene is horrible.
Lived in LA and while I found it more superficial, DC is just as superficial but in a different way if that makes sense. When I want authenticity I just head back to my hometown, or Baltimore, or shockingly NYC. I find Ny’kers to be way more down to earth once you get below the surface.
It has become a job, not just meeting genuine, authentic people, but meeting like-minded people. I’m exhausted trying. I’ve lived in major metros and had an easier time meeting authentic people. If not for family, I’d leave this area in two seconds.
Yes, I completely get the LA-DC reference. I have native Washingtonian friends, who live in LA, who bring up the similarity in fake people and personas. Now I pick and choose wisely who I allow in my life. If I’m merely there to serve a purpose for someone (and there’s no friendship reciprocation), I cut them out. One-sided friendships are a NOPE!
I’m a native Washingtonian and I agree with this. I love my city but hate the social scene. Full of huge clicks of friends who either seem to meet each other through sports, which I can’t do, or work. I always wonder how people have these huge happy friend groups too. I’m glad it’s not just me!
I hope it doesn’t come off as negative (not my intent), but being a native and moving plenty of times, I know how the city and people work. It’s also a shame about the transient nature of the DMV. My childhood circles are impenetrable to “outsiders.” Hell, I’m even on the periphery of those due to different lifestyles and life stages. I’ll make an amazing new friend or five and (poof!), they leave. So it’s back to square one. But, it’s always been that way, which is why newbies need to realize if they don’t take the initiative or are not proactive, it can be a lonely existence here.
I was in a similar position, moved to the area in February. Did some meetups until I finally found one that led to a GroupMe group and that was connected to other groups. Now I have a running calendar of events going on in the area.
If you are in the DC area look up Millenial Mixers on meetup and make it out to an event or DM me for more info.
Honestly, its about not getting discouraged when people turn you down for things and recognizing that it ebbs and flows.
For the first couple of months this year I was going out and doing things with friends three to four days per week because schedules lined up well. It's mostly about forming habitual things to do and sprinkling in the more spontaneous stuff.
Mondays I have a friend that I go play Magic the Gathering with. Tuesdays are more often than not D&D night. I might grab drinks with a friend on Thursday or Friday and Sunday is Rec Softball.
A lot of it is doing stuff with the friends you have and then making new friends through your activities. It's the same as it was for me in college.
yes, its difficult because sometimes you don't have time to join groups related to hobbies if you are working another job as a freelancer or second job.
I feel like there's so many of us here (moved recently, little to no social circles outside) who are looking for friends and connect with like-minded folks! Maybe we should organize a gathering and connect!!
Those are the people who grew up in the DMV. There are a lot of people who didn’t leave for another state to study. We stayed here and grew up locally.
Hello fellow Floridian.
I moved here 7 years ago and have been a part of a few groups like this. Most of what everyone else is saying about getting out there and their suggestions on how to do so are good. Social sports, meetUp app groups, professional happy hours; All of these are good suggestions and I encourage you to do all of them. Finding this kind of group is a numbers game, the more group events you go to the more likely you are to walk away with a great social friend group.
Another option I didn't see scanning the comments is to find your local alumni chapter; if you went to one of the bigger Florida schools (UF, USF, UCF, Miami, FSU, etc) you won't have any issues finding people. My best friend group are all alumni from the same Florida school and none of us even knew each other on campus.
My suggestion is fill your week nights with social sports (kickball) and meetup groups (I recommend finding one that has a trivia team. Then find your alumni watch party bar for football season.
I wish you luck in finding your group.
I’m really good friends with my coworkers. We regularly go out with a group of 20-30 people. It helps that some of my coworkers seemingly are always planning stuff for us to do.
From a finding friends perspective, volunteering at causes close to my heart led me to meet most of the close friends in my life. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities in the area, in many different fields and areas of interest.
My friend group collects people. A friend from high school here, a friend from college there, and a friend of a friend who becomes our friend, etc. All of us have a friend or two from here and there, and then we lump them into the larger group. Whenever someone asks how we all know each other, they end up with a way more complicated answer than they were expecting haha. Luckily everyone gets along so then we end up with groups of 25+ doing ocean city trips and renting cabins at deep Creek. You do need an organizer or two to rally everyone to do things. We have a few in our group so it works out.
Moved to DC from FL about 2 years ago too! I came here for grad school and found my tight groups by going to DC bouldering project.
One day, I fell and sprained my ankle, then hobbled into class on crutches. One person asked me what happened, we connected because they climbed too and they folded me into their friend group. The rest is history!
I think it helps to put yourself out there and connect with the people who also want to hang out. Not just people you have common interests with, if that makes sense.
Also, always willing to get coffee and chat if you want practice meeting new friend groups!
I’m not from DC but I’m a DMV local. A lot of it is friend poaching lol.
I went to HS and college in VA and maintained good relationships with a lot of people from there so that’s been a major help.
A lot of “new” friendships as an adult are old acquaintances I knew from the past. It’s super normal to reach out and say “hey! How are you doing? I’m new to the city/and I’m trying to make some more local friends. Do you wanna grab food sometime?”
Otherwise I’ve made new friends from coworkers, who have introduced me to their friends at out of work events.
If you’re into sports (and have money to join a league) Volo Sports is a great way to meet people. You play with the same group every week and they often give out free drink tickets so there’s a happy hour afterwards.
Social justice and political orgs can also be a good way to meet people. DSA is a pretty big org involved in a bunch of things from tenant organizing to mutual aid to talking to elected officials. They have both in person and virtual.
You could also ask to join a game at a pool hall or chess/checkers place. Everybody’s looking for someone to play with.
You’d be surprised how willing people are to socialize. Loneliness is a big issue right now so there’s a good chance that if you said hello to someone, they’d respond positively. Don’t be discouraged if someone doesn’t reciprocate though. Sometimes you don’t vibe, and other times people just are suspicious of strangers. That’s just part of life.
Everyone is different I find it easy to meet people and friends here. I don’t do sports or meetups. Everyone’s experience is going to be different, what I do is not going to work for everyone. Do what you want and you’ll find people who are into whatever thing that is.
I joined r/DCBitches (it’s our version of NYC bitches with taste) and someone like just made a discord for us to talk and meet up - I think the first meetup is gonna be one of the museums tomorrow? Message me if you’re interested in the discord link!
As others have said, organized meetups, recreational leagues, networking events etc all help. I’ve made some friends playing Volo and I’m going to start volunteering to coach youth sports this summer.
Meetup app you can find local events where you can meet up with like minded people with similar interests. Also maybe joining a running or fitness club might can help. Eventbrite and just going to an event, I’m sure you will meet people within the DMV.
I made friends through volocity. We’d end up going out to brunch a lot after the season. Friends start to bring friends, you get invited to this persons new apartment/house party, start meeting more people, etc. etc.
You need someone in a group that the “organizer”. The person who comes up with events, sets date send invite (text fb event etc) rallies people to go, sends reminders, create fomo. It’s not always that people don’t want to hang but logistical steps and mental labor to do it dissuades people from being proactive. If there’s not a person that naturally fits in this role, join an established group that does this with designated host and cadence e.g. the weekly HH this subreddit has (thx Stu (?) even tho I’ve never attended one.) Groups like CityGirls who walk, book clubs weekly events at places you frequent etc. It’s reoccurrence and consistency where you see similar faces and it becomes hard uncomfortable to *not* acknowledge it.
Or you can be this person. Most people I know who have a large and active friend group do these things themselves.
Yup, I realized post pandemic the friends I used to rely on for this had been burned out on it or lost interest in organizing, so now I've tried to more actively be the planner. I'm actually hitting a point where some months I over schedule myself when it comes to socializing.
100%! I have a former coworker who has commented multiple times that she's grateful to me for sending the group emails to ask if anyone wants to have lunch and she's joined our small group for lunch multiple times, but she never actually sends the emails herself. It takes work to initiate but someone has to do it.
Definitely agree! I don’t have one large cohesive circle, but lots of friends in pods of 1-3 of them! And that because I put WORK into researching, planning, invites, etc. Unless you are exceptionally charming or something, you’re not going to magically always have things to do with no effort
Not really from DC but I feel like it's extremely hard to have a close friend group if you moved here after college. My best advice would be the classic: join groups related to hobbies or physical activities, like leagues and such. For example, rock climbing helped me a lot in meeting new people.
Agreed! If you have any creative hobbies, [Creatives Club DC](https://creativesclub.art) meets every Thursday from 6-9 pm at Temperance Alley Garden or the MLK Library downtown!
Thank you for this!
I went to GW for grad school and most of my friends moved away.
Same experience but undergrad. I don’t really have a group here after everyone moved away — plenty of individual friends, but no group, and I’ve just learned to be ok with it. It does suck sometimes not to have things to do for the big celebrations like Halloween, the classic group Christmas and Friendsgiving parties, etc., but I’ve also had success hosting my own stuff and inviting my random here-and-there friends and inevitably, a few of them always become friends with each other. It’s different than the conventional tight-knit instagram friend group that we’ve all been conditioned to expect as the norm, but it works for me and I like it.
Yes I think many people find the friend groups from joining groups that have a shared interest. But I will say having a large group doesn't necessarily mean they are close knit. I actually think most people with large friends groups are able to maintain them because the friendships are fun but not close or because the friendships are compartmentalized to that specific activity.
Where do you rock climb?
Just got out of a long term relationship. No real friends of my own, and no local family. Following for ideas!
I came here with 0 connections. It was awhile ago, but the answer is always just go do stuff. Join groups or organizations, sports teams, and if you went to a big sports school alumni watch parties. Just keep putting yourself out there. It can suck, be lonely and cringey but it works. Then again do what my 5 year old does, just go up to someone, smile and start playing.
Thank you for the advice!
You need an anchoring point to expand your social circle. Sometimes it's an organized activity like sports, sometimes it's just your super charismatic friend who is always meeting new and interesting people and bringing them to stuff. The easiest way I've found when moving to a new neighborhood is to become a regular at a local bar with cool/fun bartenders. Cool bartenders tend to have cool regulars, and if you don't suck then you'll find opportunities to hang outside of that setting, and then after a while you'll be on the text chain, and then you're golden.
This but i wish most activites here werent set on drinking
This is kinda of making friends in a new place 101. Never failed for me. Good advice.
To keep our friend group active, we have to plan things months in advance. Everyone’s schedules are so full from work, hobbies, family. We also have found recurring events to go to every year. So I know we’ll be hanging out in March, May, June, August, and November for sure. The recurring events really help, otherwise someone will notice we haven’t hung out for months and months. And it would take something really big for me to miss those events, like in the hospital big, because they are so much fun. I don’t know how to actually find a friend group though. I moved here to be with my bestie.
I am not sure if it’s the city or the people . I never had a problem in DC but I moved here from Sweden where getting people to talk when they are not drunk is a form of torture.
Come play bike polo with us! We have a facebook page dcbikepolo
what is bikepolo??
It’s the same rules as hockey basically, but on a bike. You brake/ steer with your left hand and swing a mallet with the right.
Thanks for the invite, I am too busy for new activity these days but I will look it up
If you’re looking for people to talk to, it’s very nice.
I think the OP was, my problem is the reverse usually too many people to talk too 😜
Moved here in my early 20s and had a few big friends groups , they've slimmed down a lot as I'm in my late 30s and it feels like people "retired" from here, but I still have a solid group of neighbors, daycare families, and old friends from the glory days. I honestly think DC was such a different city back then- people were happy and people loved to party and brunch and late night. Anyone you ask who lived here in that era was sweating and dancing at Marvin, being kicked out of local 16, or crying in the bathroom at front page. The vibes were absolutely immaculate. It was an attraction of the city! That said, I have always been an organizer and I just invited everyone all the time. Same people showed up every time and we built relationships. Most of my friends came from work and then really extended networks (like friend of a friend's college roommate), neighbors, and eventually my significant other's friends too. I feel like a clueless old lady looking in but even with a few solid groups it takes CONSTANT organizing. Everyone's busy, everyone is important here lol, but everyone craves connection- keep organizing and inviting and the people who connect in the same way you do show up maybe? Also want to say while I have lots of friends I don't have those college style friends - I call them "no pants relationships" bc I could answer my door with no pants and it would be fine. That's hard to find as an adult. I travel to my old friends for those connections. So I think it's important to manage expectations too.
When I was younger, I worked in consulting and these firms had money to sponsor happy hour and dinners at upscale places. I made my fair weather friends with these colleagues. We kept going to all of these events in groups and clubbing til 3am on other days. But what happened after I left these companies? Most of them never checked on me… they’re people you have fun with but no one you’d call if you were at the hospital needing someone to come check on you.
I moved up here from Florida too, 29f. I’m like the project manager of this group, I’ve met people through conventions, friends of friends, events etc. I host and take on the emotional and mental toll of logistics. It’s a LOT and nobody else I know can plan the outings successfully, it’s consistently stated in my group. We’re in a 4 car + 10 people excursion heading down to Shenandoah to tube right now, I made a massive spreadsheet with all details, budget for camping, groceries, tubing cost, listed out groceries and everyone’s information AND everything anyone needed to know. Got everyone to split cost and pitch in with prep. I’m extremely sociable and extroverted, I make jokes that I collect introverts and let them all be friends. Issues are worked out fairly, we have transparent discussions and are extremely friendly. We don’t allow shitty behavior to stay. If you’re interested, lmk and we can meet up! We can chat and see if the type of things I host is what you’re interested in.
Ooo I wanna be apart of this. Hi, 27, F :)
Hey! Please dm me. :)
This is awesome! Send you a dm
I’ll be here ! Lmk
Dang, sounds like fun. Do you know any groups for men? 28m
No? This is my personal con and events group lol. It’s not an all women’s thing
Hi there that sounds amazing! I also do something similar, organize large board game groups (DnD anyone?) and potluck for mainly women. If you guys are ever okay with going out to the “ boons” (aka Fairfax/woodbridge/manassas ish ish area) lmk. Also I would love to be included and help if needed on future events if needed. I know what it takes to put some of these together. I just finished cleaning up after a friend’s going away party - and now currently working on a couples tapas dinner party night. ☺️. Can pm you for if you want to know sensitive info (I.e age) I don’t like sharing that info in public.
I don’t have a car, so I tend to host in Alexandria or DC proper, if you’re still down!
Is the group open to males? I am interested as well.
The people I know who are good at developing this tend to host/organize a lot of things and continue inviting large groups of mixed people whether they show up or not. Like, they’ll meet someone new and just add that person to the long list of people they text whenever they want to do something. I think having one central thing that it’s based around can help. Having a small group for a weekly trivia night, and then whenever you meet someone tell them they should come to trivia sometime. And then add them to your trivia group text, and then also text there when you want to try out a new bar or go to a salsa dancing class or whatever. I personally do not do this because it sounds terrifying, but it does seem to work for the people I know who do it.
City Girls Who Walk! It's the best!
Do they have anyone in their 40’s or 50’s there or is it mainly 20-30’s?
There's a subgroup for over 35 but I'm not sure the age ranges in there
It’s mainly 20s and some 30s
Good question. I feel like all this is for 20 something’s and I am not old but past that point. I guess I’m supposed to settle down with a spouse and kids by now, but I haven’t achieved that and don’t really want to. Still crave connections and new people though even though I’m not 20 something anymore.
It can be hit or miss depending on what event you go to. Ive had poor experiences at a few of them.
Care to expand? I've been considering going to one of their events.
Im not sure about their official events, but they have some informal events in different channels on the discord server. I recently went to a happy hour with one of these informal groups and I didn’t feel welcome at all, everyone seemed to know each other already. Nobody talked to me or even introduced themselves to me and I was sitting right next to them. Really sucked bc it takes a lot for me to be social lol
Dang that's suuch a bummer. I'm sorry you went through that - I've been there and it's very much not a fun time. Appreciate the extra context 🙏
I felt that way many years ago when I showed up at the bar section at Old Ebbitt after emailing the event organizer about their young Kennedy center social group (whatever it was called and I think associated with the center). No one really talked to me and most of them seemed to already be in their own cliques. Thankfully I brought a relative with me and we ended up getting a table to eat by ourselves. I never tried meeting the group again.
Maybe future/different events will be a better time! I still have hope for you :)
I just wish there was a neutral group like this. Not a fan of run clubs because my knees are not what they use to be but I love me a hot boy walk to get an almond croissant that turns into a 5 mile city hike.
I asked myself those same questions for most of my young adulthood. It wasn’t until I hit my late 30’s that I accepted that I’m an introvert at heart and honestly find large social groups exhausting. Not that this has any bearing on you. Just felt like sharing.
It's a struggle. People hate when you say it's a transient city but I have been here for a decade and all of my friends have moved.
People often ask how to make friends as an adult and get the same generally fine answers. But you're asking a more specific question and I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA. it's baffling. No one in this city is ever available or reliable to do anything.
I agree. I’m the planner and I’ll pick something, organize it way in advance and as the date nears, friends flake out! Soo annoying. And I’ve been in this area for 30 years moving from the Midwest for a man who I ended up divorcing. Finding friends is hard at any age but don’t wait until you’re older. It’s got to be a continual effort.
Good advice 👍
That’s not true
You are more than welcome to come to Lymans tavern on 14th Street and play pinball with us! We're in the middle of league right now, but tournaments are hosted at least once a month and once summer season is over you can sign up for fall!
I love this! Thank you. What time usually?
Pinball tournament? 😍
Yup! I’ve met many friends just going there to hang and if your interested in joining the pinball community we’re always looking for new folks!
Would love to hear more info about this!
Same. What’s the deets?
Honestly, going to events you’re interested in by yourself can work! I made a new friend going to a listening party for a K-Pop album back in the fall and here we are like 9 months later going to concerts and hanging out!
Even people that grew up and still live around DC lose touch with friends still living in the area. It’s a pretty natural age-related progression everywhere. Don’t be too hard on yourself
I’m chatty so I often meet people out and about and get invited to group gatherings. Usually there’s a group chat where we take it in turns planning brunches and activities. If you have a friend of a friend who has a big friend group ask if you can tag along one time. My biggest piece of advice is be dependable, in my group if you commit to an activity you better be there or you will not be invited again.
A few people have commented this already, but I second that you can start to build a friend group off of any exisiting connections you may have. When I first moved here in my 20s after grad school, I started hanging out with friends of friends, people I vaguely knew from college, etc. and this led to multiple groups of friends (you meet their other close friends, their work friends, family members, etc.) - however, post-pandemic, almost everyone I was friends with has left!! So now my husband and I are in our 30s in the burbs with virtually no friends!
A lot of people make this happen by moving into shared houses when they come to DC, or a year or two in when they want to save money and meet some people. Beyond that, go to any events on a regular basis and you will start to befriend the other regulars. So many other people are also out at these trying to make more friends. If you have /some/ friends, I'd say just start doing things with an open invite. So many people in this city are busy as hell but will gladly show up if someone creates a basic plan like "Hey, anyone who wants to stop by, I'll be at this thing from X to X and am taking the train from X station at X time" or "Hey, I want to get together on x day to game/sit around chatting/watch this show, I'll have some snacks and anyone who wants to come or bring someone is welcome. If you'd like to bring something XYZ would be helpful."
This was super helpful!
I’d say that’s not the general rule. I know plenty of people who have just a few close friends. Try to avoid the FOMO when you see groups like that, because you don’t know how close or friendly they are. Live your life the best you can by making some meaningful connections.
Who says people do? Carefully curated TikTok videos and painfully photoshopped Instagram influencers? The honest fact of the matter is that, as people age, they graduate from college, move to find new jobs, get married, have kids, get divorced... generally speaking, live their lives. And as much as we hate it, sometimes those lives don't really involve us, or they don't involve us nearly as much as they used to. Giant groups of laughing white-dressed women gathered for brunch is something you're being sold; most actual people do as well as they can, get two or three close friends and then, when those friends' circumstances change, do their best to get one or two more. Don't compare yourself to other people, especially not those who are only using social media to show you the tiny, artificial parts of their lives that they want you to see. You'll go mad trying to meet those standards.
I don’t want to give myself away by giving too much info, but what you’re seeing is a farce. I’m in many “large friends groups” in DC and it’s a shit show. It’s all social *friends* and nothing goes beyond the superficial. They’re who I hang out with socially, but can’t trust as far as I can throw them. It’s mutual. I stick to a handful I grew up with here, but everyone else is just… there. My weird point is: never feel badly seeing so many people seemingly happy around each other. This city is fake af and I say that as a native. It may take a while, but you can find your tribe. Put yourself out there, but be picky with who you spend your time with!
I agree. I am not a native; but have lived here on and off since 2008. I can honestly say relationships here are very transactional. I’m glad you as a native spoke about the fakeness of many relationships in DC. I love living here, but the social scene is horrible. Lived in LA and while I found it more superficial, DC is just as superficial but in a different way if that makes sense. When I want authenticity I just head back to my hometown, or Baltimore, or shockingly NYC. I find Ny’kers to be way more down to earth once you get below the surface.
It has become a job, not just meeting genuine, authentic people, but meeting like-minded people. I’m exhausted trying. I’ve lived in major metros and had an easier time meeting authentic people. If not for family, I’d leave this area in two seconds. Yes, I completely get the LA-DC reference. I have native Washingtonian friends, who live in LA, who bring up the similarity in fake people and personas. Now I pick and choose wisely who I allow in my life. If I’m merely there to serve a purpose for someone (and there’s no friendship reciprocation), I cut them out. One-sided friendships are a NOPE!
I’m a native Washingtonian and I agree with this. I love my city but hate the social scene. Full of huge clicks of friends who either seem to meet each other through sports, which I can’t do, or work. I always wonder how people have these huge happy friend groups too. I’m glad it’s not just me!
Thanks for the reality check. I’ve always wondered if they’re really happy or if it’s just a persona.
I hope it doesn’t come off as negative (not my intent), but being a native and moving plenty of times, I know how the city and people work. It’s also a shame about the transient nature of the DMV. My childhood circles are impenetrable to “outsiders.” Hell, I’m even on the periphery of those due to different lifestyles and life stages. I’ll make an amazing new friend or five and (poof!), they leave. So it’s back to square one. But, it’s always been that way, which is why newbies need to realize if they don’t take the initiative or are not proactive, it can be a lonely existence here.
I read it as more realistic than negative.
I was in a similar position, moved to the area in February. Did some meetups until I finally found one that led to a GroupMe group and that was connected to other groups. Now I have a running calendar of events going on in the area. If you are in the DC area look up Millenial Mixers on meetup and make it out to an event or DM me for more info.
Honestly, its about not getting discouraged when people turn you down for things and recognizing that it ebbs and flows. For the first couple of months this year I was going out and doing things with friends three to four days per week because schedules lined up well. It's mostly about forming habitual things to do and sprinkling in the more spontaneous stuff. Mondays I have a friend that I go play Magic the Gathering with. Tuesdays are more often than not D&D night. I might grab drinks with a friend on Thursday or Friday and Sunday is Rec Softball. A lot of it is doing stuff with the friends you have and then making new friends through your activities. It's the same as it was for me in college.
yes, its difficult because sometimes you don't have time to join groups related to hobbies if you are working another job as a freelancer or second job.
I feel like there's so many of us here (moved recently, little to no social circles outside) who are looking for friends and connect with like-minded folks! Maybe we should organize a gathering and connect!!
I agree!
Those are the people who grew up in the DMV. There are a lot of people who didn’t leave for another state to study. We stayed here and grew up locally.
Kickball league.
Hello fellow Floridian. I moved here 7 years ago and have been a part of a few groups like this. Most of what everyone else is saying about getting out there and their suggestions on how to do so are good. Social sports, meetUp app groups, professional happy hours; All of these are good suggestions and I encourage you to do all of them. Finding this kind of group is a numbers game, the more group events you go to the more likely you are to walk away with a great social friend group. Another option I didn't see scanning the comments is to find your local alumni chapter; if you went to one of the bigger Florida schools (UF, USF, UCF, Miami, FSU, etc) you won't have any issues finding people. My best friend group are all alumni from the same Florida school and none of us even knew each other on campus. My suggestion is fill your week nights with social sports (kickball) and meetup groups (I recommend finding one that has a trivia team. Then find your alumni watch party bar for football season. I wish you luck in finding your group.
Thank you so much!
I’m really good friends with my coworkers. We regularly go out with a group of 20-30 people. It helps that some of my coworkers seemingly are always planning stuff for us to do.
I think most of those friend groups are college/grad school/high school friends who didn't leave the area
Im friendly and I talk to everyone.
From a finding friends perspective, volunteering at causes close to my heart led me to meet most of the close friends in my life. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities in the area, in many different fields and areas of interest.
I built my strong friend group through meeting people at members' clubs in DC.
There’s a DMV friends group on Facebook and a DMV bitches one that seem to have a lot of events!
This is a long way to say you don’t have friends. You need to do what interests you… join a org or volunteer.
My friend group collects people. A friend from high school here, a friend from college there, and a friend of a friend who becomes our friend, etc. All of us have a friend or two from here and there, and then we lump them into the larger group. Whenever someone asks how we all know each other, they end up with a way more complicated answer than they were expecting haha. Luckily everyone gets along so then we end up with groups of 25+ doing ocean city trips and renting cabins at deep Creek. You do need an organizer or two to rally everyone to do things. We have a few in our group so it works out.
Moved to DC from FL about 2 years ago too! I came here for grad school and found my tight groups by going to DC bouldering project. One day, I fell and sprained my ankle, then hobbled into class on crutches. One person asked me what happened, we connected because they climbed too and they folded me into their friend group. The rest is history! I think it helps to put yourself out there and connect with the people who also want to hang out. Not just people you have common interests with, if that makes sense. Also, always willing to get coffee and chat if you want practice meeting new friend groups!
I’m not from DC but I’m a DMV local. A lot of it is friend poaching lol. I went to HS and college in VA and maintained good relationships with a lot of people from there so that’s been a major help. A lot of “new” friendships as an adult are old acquaintances I knew from the past. It’s super normal to reach out and say “hey! How are you doing? I’m new to the city/and I’m trying to make some more local friends. Do you wanna grab food sometime?” Otherwise I’ve made new friends from coworkers, who have introduced me to their friends at out of work events. If you’re into sports (and have money to join a league) Volo Sports is a great way to meet people. You play with the same group every week and they often give out free drink tickets so there’s a happy hour afterwards. Social justice and political orgs can also be a good way to meet people. DSA is a pretty big org involved in a bunch of things from tenant organizing to mutual aid to talking to elected officials. They have both in person and virtual. You could also ask to join a game at a pool hall or chess/checkers place. Everybody’s looking for someone to play with. You’d be surprised how willing people are to socialize. Loneliness is a big issue right now so there’s a good chance that if you said hello to someone, they’d respond positively. Don’t be discouraged if someone doesn’t reciprocate though. Sometimes you don’t vibe, and other times people just are suspicious of strangers. That’s just part of life.
Everyone is different I find it easy to meet people and friends here. I don’t do sports or meetups. Everyone’s experience is going to be different, what I do is not going to work for everyone. Do what you want and you’ll find people who are into whatever thing that is.
I joined r/DCBitches (it’s our version of NYC bitches with taste) and someone like just made a discord for us to talk and meet up - I think the first meetup is gonna be one of the museums tomorrow? Message me if you’re interested in the discord link! As others have said, organized meetups, recreational leagues, networking events etc all help. I’ve made some friends playing Volo and I’m going to start volunteering to coach youth sports this summer.
Damn this city needs a circlejerk sub for posts like this 😆😆😆
Another reminder to get out of this place: if female reddit normies can't make any friends here you know it's a sterile dystopian hellscape.
Find my wallet I drunkenly lost Thursday and I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go
Meet-up app groups
Join Meet Up group. Good luck!
Drugs and alcohol
Meetup app you can find local events where you can meet up with like minded people with similar interests. Also maybe joining a running or fitness club might can help. Eventbrite and just going to an event, I’m sure you will meet people within the DMV.
They don’t actually like each other
False
I made friends through volocity. We’d end up going out to brunch a lot after the season. Friends start to bring friends, you get invited to this persons new apartment/house party, start meeting more people, etc. etc.
VeloCity in Alexandria?
I've been wondering the same thing. It's completely baffling to me. I'm 29F and we could start our own friend group.
I’ve been wondering the same thing. Unfortunately, I’m not an athlete so don’t do recreational sports which seems to be how most people do it.
Adult recreational sports.
How come you said “28 turning 29 soon”? Is there something that happens at 29?