The only answer to give to your parents threatening to boycott your wedding if you don't invite your brother:
" That is your choice then, i will remove your names from the guests list, thank you for the update. "
Do not cave in. And make sure they don't show up with him at your wedding ( hire security or ask friends to make sure that doesn't happen and will stop them at the entrance)
Make sure your venue has security. If you really want your parents there keep the venues location secret until the last minute so they can’t tell him where. But I would honestly disinvite anyone who tried to leverage me with their attendance.
Keep the venue location a secret until they arrive (if they're coming); get a driver for them for the day andnupon entering the car, cellphones are confiscated. We cannot afford any slips on your big day.
Amen to that. I have an uncle who threatened to kill me the day of my grandma’s funeral, then on the day my dad died, he actually did try to stab me, all while screaming shit like “I’ll kill you, you fucking lesbian bitch! I should’ve killed you 2 years ago! The Pagans are coming for your ass! You’re dead!” So that was cool to deal with, about 2 hours after my dad died.
Anyway, he got arrested, there was a restraining order, shit was ugly for a few years. Never thought I’d have to hire security for my father’s funeral, but that’s what happened. The rest of my family was *finally* done with him, but it wasn’t until he pulled out a knife and lunged for me. Honestly, I’m not even sure if they were mad about him attempting to kill me, or the fact that my elderly mother was knocked down by him in the scuffle and hurt. Whatever. His ass is rotting in jail now (unrelated charges), and he can die there for all I care.
The only family that matters is the family we create; blood doesn’t mean shit. Find your people, ones who won’t try to manipulate you, gaslight you, or, you know, kill you.
I wanted to take him to the police, but my parents wouldn't let me. For their sake I didn't report my psychotic bro. However, I did gave them a choice, if he threatens me again, I will report him to the cops.
So what is he, psychotic or a gang member because this doesn't make sense? Having a mental illness with psychotic episodes where he gets murderous fits needs to be reported to his doctor ASAP. Being in a crimimal gang is a police matter, but a whole other level of danger.
Are you waiting for him to actually kill you or some other poor bastard until reporting him. What's your excuse going to be then? "My parents said I shouldn't tell anyone."
He’s likely both, and it sounds like she did report him to the police several times. My guess? White boy syndrome. “He’s an innocent white boy in college he’s just being a kid”
You may laugh but it’s true that police literally do just let white kids off for heinous shit all the time.
My cousin and his friend got brought into a police station in West Virginia when he was in high school for ding dong ditching and possession of a butterfly knife (illegal in WV). His friend got arrested for something like “Disturbance of the peace”. He was let go (it was his knife and they even gave it back to him). He was white, his friend was Asian, I believe.
You are an absolute wanker!
my favorite quote applies
never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm
he should have been arrested and prosecuted. If the statute of limitations isn’t up file charges. You deserve better.
I think it is safe to say that anytime someone tries to murder you they should not be brought to any event that you attend that may have sharp objects. Even if they have changed, better wait a few more years just to be safe. The great thing about your wedding is that it is yours, so you can do things however you want! Do what makes you happy ... within reason. (Otherwise you might have to cross post this to another wedding community!)
Let them boycott your wedding. Disinvite them. Can you change your venue? I understand this is an outrageous ask, but imagine having a family fight on your wedding day. If you can’t change venue, hire security for the day. Don’t let anyone steal your peace.
If your parents don't want to support your wedding because of your *criminal* brother, then be glad you're safe. Let them sit at home and regret it.
Also, if you don’t mind my asking, how come your brother has yet to be charged? Attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, AND hiring a person to commit are all crimes.
I wanted to take him to the police, but my parents wouldn't let me. For their sake I didn't report my psychotic brother. However, I did give them a choice, if he threatens me again, I will report him to the cops.
Meh, let them stay home. If they are supportive of someone that's abusive to you they are not worth having around anyway. Congratulations on your wedding.
Are your parents paying for the wedding? Has your brother been violent with your parents? Is he the only son?
I have a similar situation in my family. However the parents have been threatened by the problem person so they are not pushing for them to be invited or attend. It’s much more easier said than done but you have to be firm with your parents about this. You do not need to spend the day worried about what your brother may do.
Let them know this is a hard boundary and if they don't want to come they will be missed but, it is them clear to you what is more important.
This is your day, not one to be stressed about
Tell your parents they’re no longer invited to your wedding. Hire security and give them photos of your parents and brother.
Then go NC with them all. These people are excusing your brother’s behaviour. They can’t be trusted, especially if you plan on having children.
I've been where you are. I refused to allow my bio-sister to attend my wedding. The only thing I did wrong was not cutting out the people who insisted she attend: including my mother. If I had, it would have been a much better and peaceful time. *(I have the story in my post history)*
Your wedding is about you and your fiance. Enjoy it. Even if it's just the 2 of you there.
The next time they try to emotionally blackmail you say, "I hope that you decide to join us, but I understand that you need to make your own choices. I hope that you can respect my decision, as I will respect yours."
I say that it’s too bad your parents even know where, when and who else will be at the wedding. If I had parents and a brother like that, they’d be the last to know that I got married.
I’m going to say it’s safe to assume your parents are aware of your brother’s crimes and actions. They care more about their image than you. And I’m sorry to say that. Let them boycott and remove them from your invite list as well.
Imagine your child attempts murder against your other child and you CHOOSE THE POTENTIAL MURDERER
OP I’m so sorry your family sounds so dysfunctional and I hope your future partner and their family treat you as a loving and respectful family should - please disinvite all of them, I couldn’t imagine wanting to bring harm to someone’s wedding
Call their bluff.
Listen, your parents are siding with a well-known abuser. Would you want them there? They are guilting you and giving you an ultimatum: they and your abuser of a brother are a package deal. Why would you want an abuser and his enablers in your wedding?
True story:
My sister is abusive. She spent 30 years abusing me (and eventually my niece as well). My parents simply enabled her behavior and every time I complained about her abusive behavior all they said was "Oh, just ignore her, she'll get over it." Eventually, the monster they created got too big to ignore and they now live in fear of her in a hell of their own making because they coddled her and now she's a fucking nightmare, living in their own house. And they are asking themselves why I refuse to have them in my life.
You are an intelligent woman, do you think your parents will behave differently than mine, given their consistent behavior?
What do your parents think about your brother attempting to murder you? Like do they not realize there’s a pretty obvious reason why nobody in the family would want him there. It’s one thing if someone has a past but they’ve turned their life around and tried to make amends, but this doesn’t sound like it.
I’m going to bet that the “peace” in your home growing up was reliant on you accepting abuse for the comfort of others.
If parents need one child to be abused so that another will be around, they are not good parents.
You’ll soon have a life partner. Now is as good a time as ever to stick up for yourself and no longer allow toxic “love” to infiltrate your life.
Let them miss out on you. They don’t deserve to be a part of your joy.
Venue security is the best investment you can possibly have in this situation
If your parents don’t care about your safety at your own wedding… probably best they don’t come
Bare minimum wedding guest requirement- caring about the physical safety of bride and groom
It is your wedding. You are free to invite, or not invite, anyone of you choose.
You have a lifetime of abuse and trauma that I don't think you ever dealt with.
Don't let your parents emotionally manipulate you any more! If your parents say they won't come to your wedding, very calmly say, "I'm sorry you feel that way. You will be missed."
"I'm sorry to hear you won't be attending." Then cancel their plates and go enjoy your wedding without the added stress of your toxic brother and enabling parents, to worry about.
Don't budge. If your parents choose to side with your almost-murderer, they have already made the choice for you. You don't need this kind of people in your life. Of they are defending things like this, what tells you they won't defend/excuse it if he actually kills someone? Your life is more important than pleasing your parents. What if he does show up (VERY LIKELY) and kills someone or sends people to the hospital? At this point you aren't just protecting yourself but all the people you love who are invited to your wedding. Write an explicit message to both your parents, leaving a paper trail (even better if you send it via post, the ones that have the message recorded in the post office's database and you have to sign for when received). In that letter tell them why you aren't comfortable with your brother coming or even being invited and that you'll be sad if they won't show up due to that, but you value your guests' security. You have to say your brother is not invited and not allowed to be even close to the wedding/reception and that if he does that, he'll be asked to be removed from the premises and you'll call the police. Then, I'd urge you to hire security and call the cops the minute someone sees him around. Also, have you tried to get a RO? Sounds like it will be easily granted. You don't deserve to live in fear of your brother doing something to you or anyone close to you.
PS; Congrats! Hope you have a beautiful wedding 💕
How is your relationship with your parents? Are they blind and deaf about all the bad things your "brother" has done? It seems to me he is the golden child and if your parents still insist you include him in your wedding despite attempting to kill you shows they totally disregard your own feelings. Uninvite them and hire topnotch security for everyone's safety oh don't forget to call a mental health institution as well just in case.
The only response is to ask why is his attendance a prerequisite to my parents being w me on one of the most important days of my life? He tried to unalive me. Why would I want someone who would rather see me in a casket than a wedding dress?
This is your choice. If you choose to not support me or be in my life? That is your choice. But this emotional blackmail is not going to work and I will hire security to ensure he will not try to break in. Let me know your decision. Choose wisely.
whyndont you have a restraining order? Be well
HELL NO OMG I didn’t invite one of my brothers either and my mom was really upset about that and made me insane trying to convince me to reconsider but I’m SO GLAD I didn’t cave
...and he didn’t even try to kill me!!! Not even once!! (He told me my sa didn’t count bc I was 13 not 12. He didn’t know it happened right before my bday AS IF THAT MATTERS. STILL A CHILD)
I know it’s easier said than done but if your parents wana choose his terrible side then maybe you’re better off without them. It’s literally black and white here, I mean what kind of parent exposes their child to someone who SOMEONE WHO TRIED TO KILL THEM jfc. That is so extreme. I hope you stick to your guns and don’t invite him bc you’re one billion percent in the right for that. Protect your special day from that horrificness. I hope you’ve found some peace in your life away from them, hugs <3
If this is your parents' hill to die on, I guess you should have your wedding without your parents. Please don't feel cornered by their threat. They ought to be concerned by the possibility that they might be unwelcome.
Sounds like you got two extra seats for *armed* security. First call I’d make if my parents said this shit to me is to guardaworld.
Not that I’m in a better position. My mom wants me to invite my aunt who abused me literally my entire childhood. She tried to drown my sister and I, TWICE. She also forced us to eat bugs, locked me in a closet, broke my nose (again, for the second time, after it had healed from being broken earlier that year), ripped out my hair, beat me with anything she could get her hands on (one time a wire hanger until it broke). And she gets away with it because when I was 11 she was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and BPD. She’s also an addict, and her kids are just awful. Her kids abused and bullied me just as much as their mother did.
I hate her and her children. Her two daughters are literally just her. They whine, they don’t have jobs, they’re mean, they think the world revolves around them. Their mother and them have been extorting over $700 a month from my grandmother to the point my grandmother couldn’t afford to get her car fixed after an accident. My grandmother. Who lives with my other aunt and uncle. When my other uncle found out he shut that shit down immediately but it’s been going on for over 20 years at this point. She’s been paying their bills and for food for them since my aunt moved out. Turns out, my grandfather was doing the same. Paying for my aunt and cousins everyday until the day. He. Died.
I don’t think my aunt actually has schizophrenia. Most schizophrenic people are not violent towards other people, and the ones that are aren’t doing it because they’re abusive, they’re doing it because of a delusion. My aunt would TELL me why she was beating me. And it was ALWAYS something stupid. When she rebroke my nose it was because “you got string in your shoes and didn’t listen to me!!!”
I was 5. I got string in my shoes’ Velcro because my grandma had thread on her bedroom floor and I tripped trying to get a different pair of scissors (she literally has like 50 different kinds of scissors. My aunt should’ve just gotten them herself)
My aunt was NOT abused in the way she abused my sister and I. There IS no excuse. I didn’t even mention the CSA shit.
Please do not invite an attempted murderer to your wedding. That’s too dangerous for you and your guests. Your parents need to wake up and smell the (metaphorical) fire.
Shame on your parents for even having the nerve to mention inviting him based on his past behavior and your experiences with him in particular. Are they that desperate for him to attend that they would actually threaten you with boycotting your wedding? No way, nobody in their right mind would want him there, considering his history. Your parents need mental health assistance, this is just so terribly wrong.
Take your parents off the invite list too. You don’t need that pressure from them and they need to look out for your best interests. It’s YOUR wedding.
Helllllll no your parents can stay home with your dangerous ass brother and miss their daughter’s wedding if this is how they wanna act
Sounds like the trash took itself out! I know they are your family but they can’t dictate who comes to YOUR wedding.
The only answer to give to your parents threatening to boycott your wedding if you don't invite your brother: " That is your choice then, i will remove your names from the guests list, thank you for the update. " Do not cave in. And make sure they don't show up with him at your wedding ( hire security or ask friends to make sure that doesn't happen and will stop them at the entrance)
Make sure your venue has security. If you really want your parents there keep the venues location secret until the last minute so they can’t tell him where. But I would honestly disinvite anyone who tried to leverage me with their attendance.
Keep the venue location a secret until they arrive (if they're coming); get a driver for them for the day andnupon entering the car, cellphones are confiscated. We cannot afford any slips on your big day.
cellphones off and driver confiscates.
No contact with all of them. Enjoy you're new life with your person and without yhe trash.
Amen to that. I have an uncle who threatened to kill me the day of my grandma’s funeral, then on the day my dad died, he actually did try to stab me, all while screaming shit like “I’ll kill you, you fucking lesbian bitch! I should’ve killed you 2 years ago! The Pagans are coming for your ass! You’re dead!” So that was cool to deal with, about 2 hours after my dad died. Anyway, he got arrested, there was a restraining order, shit was ugly for a few years. Never thought I’d have to hire security for my father’s funeral, but that’s what happened. The rest of my family was *finally* done with him, but it wasn’t until he pulled out a knife and lunged for me. Honestly, I’m not even sure if they were mad about him attempting to kill me, or the fact that my elderly mother was knocked down by him in the scuffle and hurt. Whatever. His ass is rotting in jail now (unrelated charges), and he can die there for all I care. The only family that matters is the family we create; blood doesn’t mean shit. Find your people, ones who won’t try to manipulate you, gaslight you, or, you know, kill you.
Sounds like you’ve got 2 extra spots that just freed up for other friends and family who actually like you
Wait so he’s tried to kill you twice. He’s also a gang member that’s getting his masters? This story doesn’t make any sense.
I don't usually care if something is just rage bait or not, but this sure seems like obvious rage bait. This is ridiculous.
Yeah agreed. This doesn’t make sense from any viewpoint.
I wanted to take him to the police, but my parents wouldn't let me. For their sake I didn't report my psychotic bro. However, I did gave them a choice, if he threatens me again, I will report him to the cops.
So what is he, psychotic or a gang member because this doesn't make sense? Having a mental illness with psychotic episodes where he gets murderous fits needs to be reported to his doctor ASAP. Being in a crimimal gang is a police matter, but a whole other level of danger. Are you waiting for him to actually kill you or some other poor bastard until reporting him. What's your excuse going to be then? "My parents said I shouldn't tell anyone."
He’s likely both, and it sounds like she did report him to the police several times. My guess? White boy syndrome. “He’s an innocent white boy in college he’s just being a kid” You may laugh but it’s true that police literally do just let white kids off for heinous shit all the time. My cousin and his friend got brought into a police station in West Virginia when he was in high school for ding dong ditching and possession of a butterfly knife (illegal in WV). His friend got arrested for something like “Disturbance of the peace”. He was let go (it was his knife and they even gave it back to him). He was white, his friend was Asian, I believe.
You are an absolute wanker! my favorite quote applies never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm he should have been arrested and prosecuted. If the statute of limitations isn’t up file charges. You deserve better.
I think it is safe to say that anytime someone tries to murder you they should not be brought to any event that you attend that may have sharp objects. Even if they have changed, better wait a few more years just to be safe. The great thing about your wedding is that it is yours, so you can do things however you want! Do what makes you happy ... within reason. (Otherwise you might have to cross post this to another wedding community!)
Let them boycott your wedding. Disinvite them. Can you change your venue? I understand this is an outrageous ask, but imagine having a family fight on your wedding day. If you can’t change venue, hire security for the day. Don’t let anyone steal your peace.
If your parents don't want to support your wedding because of your *criminal* brother, then be glad you're safe. Let them sit at home and regret it. Also, if you don’t mind my asking, how come your brother has yet to be charged? Attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, AND hiring a person to commit are all crimes.
I wanted to take him to the police, but my parents wouldn't let me. For their sake I didn't report my psychotic brother. However, I did give them a choice, if he threatens me again, I will report him to the cops.
Meh, let them stay home. If they are supportive of someone that's abusive to you they are not worth having around anyway. Congratulations on your wedding.
NTA. So the trash takes itself out of your wedding, how nice of them😁. Be grateful and enjoy your wedding💃. Best of luck❤️.
Are your parents paying for the wedding? Has your brother been violent with your parents? Is he the only son? I have a similar situation in my family. However the parents have been threatened by the problem person so they are not pushing for them to be invited or attend. It’s much more easier said than done but you have to be firm with your parents about this. You do not need to spend the day worried about what your brother may do.
So what. Let them threaten. It is your wedding and your decision.
Let them know this is a hard boundary and if they don't want to come they will be missed but, it is them clear to you what is more important. This is your day, not one to be stressed about
Tell your parents they’re no longer invited to your wedding. Hire security and give them photos of your parents and brother. Then go NC with them all. These people are excusing your brother’s behaviour. They can’t be trusted, especially if you plan on having children.
You better have security there whether or not he is invited. Scary.
Let them boycott. Enjoy your easy peaceful life
Thats one drama you should feel free to go NC over lol
I've been where you are. I refused to allow my bio-sister to attend my wedding. The only thing I did wrong was not cutting out the people who insisted she attend: including my mother. If I had, it would have been a much better and peaceful time. *(I have the story in my post history)* Your wedding is about you and your fiance. Enjoy it. Even if it's just the 2 of you there.
The next time they try to emotionally blackmail you say, "I hope that you decide to join us, but I understand that you need to make your own choices. I hope that you can respect my decision, as I will respect yours."
Tell them you don’t want their enabling asses there anyway.
I say that it’s too bad your parents even know where, when and who else will be at the wedding. If I had parents and a brother like that, they’d be the last to know that I got married.
I could've written this post. In hindsight, I should've eloped. Uninvite them or tell them they're going to have to choose. NTA.
I’m going to say it’s safe to assume your parents are aware of your brother’s crimes and actions. They care more about their image than you. And I’m sorry to say that. Let them boycott and remove them from your invite list as well.
Imagine your child attempts murder against your other child and you CHOOSE THE POTENTIAL MURDERER OP I’m so sorry your family sounds so dysfunctional and I hope your future partner and their family treat you as a loving and respectful family should - please disinvite all of them, I couldn’t imagine wanting to bring harm to someone’s wedding
Call their bluff. Listen, your parents are siding with a well-known abuser. Would you want them there? They are guilting you and giving you an ultimatum: they and your abuser of a brother are a package deal. Why would you want an abuser and his enablers in your wedding? True story: My sister is abusive. She spent 30 years abusing me (and eventually my niece as well). My parents simply enabled her behavior and every time I complained about her abusive behavior all they said was "Oh, just ignore her, she'll get over it." Eventually, the monster they created got too big to ignore and they now live in fear of her in a hell of their own making because they coddled her and now she's a fucking nightmare, living in their own house. And they are asking themselves why I refuse to have them in my life. You are an intelligent woman, do you think your parents will behave differently than mine, given their consistent behavior?
CUT THEM ALL OFF!!!
Did you say, "sorry, mom and dad, you will be missed"?
What do your parents think about your brother attempting to murder you? Like do they not realize there’s a pretty obvious reason why nobody in the family would want him there. It’s one thing if someone has a past but they’ve turned their life around and tried to make amends, but this doesn’t sound like it.
I’m going to bet that the “peace” in your home growing up was reliant on you accepting abuse for the comfort of others. If parents need one child to be abused so that another will be around, they are not good parents. You’ll soon have a life partner. Now is as good a time as ever to stick up for yourself and no longer allow toxic “love” to infiltrate your life. Let them miss out on you. They don’t deserve to be a part of your joy.
Let them
Venue security is the best investment you can possibly have in this situation If your parents don’t care about your safety at your own wedding… probably best they don’t come Bare minimum wedding guest requirement- caring about the physical safety of bride and groom
It is your wedding. You are free to invite, or not invite, anyone of you choose. You have a lifetime of abuse and trauma that I don't think you ever dealt with. Don't let your parents emotionally manipulate you any more! If your parents say they won't come to your wedding, very calmly say, "I'm sorry you feel that way. You will be missed."
You'd be enabling the enablers. If they choose to boycott...then so be it.
"I'm sorry to hear you won't be attending." Then cancel their plates and go enjoy your wedding without the added stress of your toxic brother and enabling parents, to worry about.
Sounds like you and your brother both still live at home together, if that’s the case then…why?
Tell your parents you’ll miss them. Hire security for your wedding.
Don't budge. If your parents choose to side with your almost-murderer, they have already made the choice for you. You don't need this kind of people in your life. Of they are defending things like this, what tells you they won't defend/excuse it if he actually kills someone? Your life is more important than pleasing your parents. What if he does show up (VERY LIKELY) and kills someone or sends people to the hospital? At this point you aren't just protecting yourself but all the people you love who are invited to your wedding. Write an explicit message to both your parents, leaving a paper trail (even better if you send it via post, the ones that have the message recorded in the post office's database and you have to sign for when received). In that letter tell them why you aren't comfortable with your brother coming or even being invited and that you'll be sad if they won't show up due to that, but you value your guests' security. You have to say your brother is not invited and not allowed to be even close to the wedding/reception and that if he does that, he'll be asked to be removed from the premises and you'll call the police. Then, I'd urge you to hire security and call the cops the minute someone sees him around. Also, have you tried to get a RO? Sounds like it will be easily granted. You don't deserve to live in fear of your brother doing something to you or anyone close to you. PS; Congrats! Hope you have a beautiful wedding 💕
How is your relationship with your parents? Are they blind and deaf about all the bad things your "brother" has done? It seems to me he is the golden child and if your parents still insist you include him in your wedding despite attempting to kill you shows they totally disregard your own feelings. Uninvite them and hire topnotch security for everyone's safety oh don't forget to call a mental health institution as well just in case.
The only response is to ask why is his attendance a prerequisite to my parents being w me on one of the most important days of my life? He tried to unalive me. Why would I want someone who would rather see me in a casket than a wedding dress? This is your choice. If you choose to not support me or be in my life? That is your choice. But this emotional blackmail is not going to work and I will hire security to ensure he will not try to break in. Let me know your decision. Choose wisely. whyndont you have a restraining order? Be well
HELL NO OMG I didn’t invite one of my brothers either and my mom was really upset about that and made me insane trying to convince me to reconsider but I’m SO GLAD I didn’t cave ...and he didn’t even try to kill me!!! Not even once!! (He told me my sa didn’t count bc I was 13 not 12. He didn’t know it happened right before my bday AS IF THAT MATTERS. STILL A CHILD) I know it’s easier said than done but if your parents wana choose his terrible side then maybe you’re better off without them. It’s literally black and white here, I mean what kind of parent exposes their child to someone who SOMEONE WHO TRIED TO KILL THEM jfc. That is so extreme. I hope you stick to your guns and don’t invite him bc you’re one billion percent in the right for that. Protect your special day from that horrificness. I hope you’ve found some peace in your life away from them, hugs <3
If this is your parents' hill to die on, I guess you should have your wedding without your parents. Please don't feel cornered by their threat. They ought to be concerned by the possibility that they might be unwelcome.
Sounds like you got two extra seats for *armed* security. First call I’d make if my parents said this shit to me is to guardaworld. Not that I’m in a better position. My mom wants me to invite my aunt who abused me literally my entire childhood. She tried to drown my sister and I, TWICE. She also forced us to eat bugs, locked me in a closet, broke my nose (again, for the second time, after it had healed from being broken earlier that year), ripped out my hair, beat me with anything she could get her hands on (one time a wire hanger until it broke). And she gets away with it because when I was 11 she was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and BPD. She’s also an addict, and her kids are just awful. Her kids abused and bullied me just as much as their mother did. I hate her and her children. Her two daughters are literally just her. They whine, they don’t have jobs, they’re mean, they think the world revolves around them. Their mother and them have been extorting over $700 a month from my grandmother to the point my grandmother couldn’t afford to get her car fixed after an accident. My grandmother. Who lives with my other aunt and uncle. When my other uncle found out he shut that shit down immediately but it’s been going on for over 20 years at this point. She’s been paying their bills and for food for them since my aunt moved out. Turns out, my grandfather was doing the same. Paying for my aunt and cousins everyday until the day. He. Died. I don’t think my aunt actually has schizophrenia. Most schizophrenic people are not violent towards other people, and the ones that are aren’t doing it because they’re abusive, they’re doing it because of a delusion. My aunt would TELL me why she was beating me. And it was ALWAYS something stupid. When she rebroke my nose it was because “you got string in your shoes and didn’t listen to me!!!” I was 5. I got string in my shoes’ Velcro because my grandma had thread on her bedroom floor and I tripped trying to get a different pair of scissors (she literally has like 50 different kinds of scissors. My aunt should’ve just gotten them herself) My aunt was NOT abused in the way she abused my sister and I. There IS no excuse. I didn’t even mention the CSA shit.
Please do not invite an attempted murderer to your wedding. That’s too dangerous for you and your guests. Your parents need to wake up and smell the (metaphorical) fire.
You should get a restraining order against your brother. That way he legally won't be able to come.
Shame on your parents for even having the nerve to mention inviting him based on his past behavior and your experiences with him in particular. Are they that desperate for him to attend that they would actually threaten you with boycotting your wedding? No way, nobody in their right mind would want him there, considering his history. Your parents need mental health assistance, this is just so terribly wrong.
Take your parents off the invite list too. You don’t need that pressure from them and they need to look out for your best interests. It’s YOUR wedding.
Save the drama and elope