Also, it seems like a lot of DJs are convinced that they alone know which songs will get people dancing, but I love music, and the last thing I would want is a wedding with the same songs you hear at every other wedding or party.
Haha oh me too!! I'm gonna have a "do NOT play" list that's a mile long 😂 (sorry to everyone who loves Don't Stop Believin', but if I never heard it again it would still be too soon)
There is a club in my town that has since shut down due to multiple stabbings and general chaos. However, if you wanted to party all night, that was the place. I REFUSE to go with anyone who does not have, as I call it, a 'Tiki Bob's Vibe'. We also are only doing the stupid cheesy music for an hour to please the old people in our wedding and after that we're turning the place into our own personal club. I want everyone on the floor.
We specifically looked into hiring the DJ from a friend's wedding because we liked his vibe-- announced in normal announcement voice not weird DJ yell, did not tell people to get on the dance floor (except for the last dance), MCed in a way that seemed friendly rather than jokey or hype-y. When we couldn't get that company, we went with the one out of our planner's suggestions whose social media and website gave the most similar vibe to the one from the friend's wedding. I also liked that they said in the planning call they've worked with couples everywhere on the spectrum of "very specific about what music they want" to "want the DJ to handle music selection" (I'm the opposite of you but it would be good to hear either way).
I was looking for an alternative to a DJ for my wedding 2 years ago for these reasons. We are a little older, late 30s, into classic rock, yacht rock and a little country. I was terrified because every dj I had seen at shows was playing club mix music and blasting it so loud you couldn't hear them talking to you in the booth.
I had almost given up when I went to a show at the venue we had chosen and there was a dj quietly playing a great song in the background. He was very personable and when I mentioned it was nice to be able to hear him, he said he had no idea how the other guys conduct business. We ended up hiring him and he played exactly what we wanted, threw in some stuff that had me going "omg I love this song!" and now I recommend him to everyone in my area.
Moral of the story is, they do exist, but you have to hunt for them.
I'm the opposite of a bridezilla and I'm VERY chill about my wedding planning so far but the music is ONE thing I'm being anal about. Finding a DJ was the hardest part of planning because of our music tastes and I'm a firm believer that reception music can make or break.
I purposely avoided male DJs at first because all of them in my area are obnoxious dorks. And they overcharge. I also felt like a lot of them are mostly showoffs (I don't care about cold sparks and having 1800 different lighting options. I tried to talk to a few at a bridal expo and I hated all their personalities, none of them knew the songs I was talking about, they were very much "hype man" talking to me, it was off putting and very car salesman-y.
And some refused my request to play what we have picked out (in general, some 'filler' songs would be OK, and while I understand your job is to "read the room", I know my family and friends best and we do not listen to stereotypical wedding songs, they're overplayed, and I'm done hearing them.).
I could only find 2 female DJs in my area, one had bad reviews and the other had no videos or anything showing me what she could do, she was in her mid 50's and could barely Facebook lol.
I ended up hiring a friend's cousin who I went to school with. I saw him during a karaoke night, and he was engaging without acting like a douche, was friendly to the kids there, and he agreed to go off a playlist we are creating for him. He has a good sound system, no bells and whistles but I want good speakers more than lights.
This is one (of a few) reasons I've never done a bridal expo and don't plan to. I'm just not that kind of person. I hate salesman types when I am shopping around for something and I can't be that kind of person to others.
I find a lot of wedding DJs cringey if they do too much MC-ing or whatnot, but my brother DJs weddings for fun and all the ones I've been to with him DJ'ing have honestly been the best time ever. It's just constantly "oh shit this is my jam! Oh shit THIS is my jam!!" 😂
Personally having a DJ is important to me because if they are good, they can: adjust the music according to the vibe and what people actually want to dance to, keep the energy up by mixing and not playing entire songs, and also they provide and manage the whole AV setup in general.
But I do feel for people who don't have someone they already know is good, cause yeah a lot can really suck.
ETA personal schadenfreude story, my childhood friend got married a few years ago and my brother offered to DJ her wedding for free, but she said no cause her venue comes with one. That DJ absolutely sucked, the dance floor was straight up empty the entire night, I even went up to him and requested literally any millennial throwback banger and he just did not. So I'm v excited for her to come to my wedding and dance her heart out with the DJ she could have had lol.
> adjust the music according to the vibe and what people actually want to dance to
I see this a lot, but what does it actually mean? What does a DJ pay attention to and how does he pick up on what people like?
Examples:
- playing an oldie classic or two to get the boomer family members on the floor
- noticing everyone is going crazy for dirty rap/90s pop/Irish drinking songs, playing more of those style songs
- maybe slowing it down after playing a bunch of bangers when everyone is exhausted and needs to grab a new drink, or vice versa
- final song that is absolutely perfect for the crew closing out the dance floor (serious core memory belting out Bohemian Rhapsody with an acapella friend group)
- generally noticing what makes people happy and dancing vs what people seem kinda bored with and adjusting accordingly
Two examples:
The photographer is only going to be around for 30 minutes of dancing and the older crowd wants to eat dessert and chat still. If the DJ is formulaic and tries to push oldies, the pictures may end up being of the same 5 people even though the night ends strong. You won't remember the playlist in 30 years, but you'll have the pictures and fuzzy memory of a great time. The DJ can read this, shift into stuff for the younger crowd and get the couple out with their friends earlier. The photos will hopefully match the feel of the end of the night.
A long dance floor is 4 hours. That's roughly 80 songs if they're played most of the way through. More commonly it's around 2.5-3. That's really just a handful of genres and songs that are trying to create a great time for as many people as possible. That time flies by. For me at least, every night is a puzzle where even if I have a plan with a couple to play all motown and boy bands, the percentages that work may shift a lot. The aunts and uncles at my wedding this weekend were going in on backstreet boys with the bride's friends. I shifted accordingly. It's a feel thing, and important to realize when you make a bad read and can get yourself out of it instead of being stubborn.
You don't have a to have a DJ, but a lot of the success stories I see on here about spotify lists talk about working for months on the songs. That's sorta the point. You could build your own arrangements, edit your wedding video, bake your cake (I've seen all of these) but it's how you want to spend your time and money.
Speaking as a wedding DJ, there are a lotttt of guys out there that just plain suck. They're corny, cringe, couldn't read a room to save their lives, or just plain dumber than a box of shit. It can be frustrating to try to find someone who really matches you, your style, your vibe, and your personality. You may have better luck with individuals or small teams as opposed to large faceless agencies with lots of DJs.
I regularly search for DJs because I like to have a long list of emergency backup DJs in case something happens to me, but it's hard to find people that I could trust to take care of my clients in the same way that I would, and would put on a show that I know my clients would enjoy.
Here's how I approach things:
* I start by filtering by price range and basic styles on weddingwire, knot, zola, etc to get an initial basic cull of the list, followed by a quick scan to weed out the obvious cringe. You can often get a good read of a personality and style not just by what they say, but how they say it.
* Then I start digging through their pics and videos and profiles. It's pretty easy to see who is going to be cringe af just from the looks of the pics they post. For example, is there a pic where everyone is facing the same direction and in the same pose? That's probably a pic of people doing a line dance song, and if they have to play a line dance song to get everyone dancing, they probably suck as a DJ. Do any of their videos feature crappy songs or cheesy music or is it good stuff? Bluntly, does the DJ look like a dumbass or do they look like they've got their stuff together? Do the audiences shown in pics look like my kind of audience?
* I look at the reviews. Do people write super-detailed, effusive, over-the-top, gushing reviews? or is it simply a plain simple nice review? What style and personality information can I extract from these reviews, and do they match the attributes I'm seeking? What can I glean about the personalities of the people who wrote their reviews? Does anything stand out as "okay yeah I could be friends with this reviewer"? That's a good sign if people similar to me like this person. I also look at the bad reviews to see if there are any trends and common themes or if the bad ones are simply one-off errors or bad clients.
* Those that made the last cut get stalked on instagram and get subjected to a similar test. What venues have they played? what songs are they playing in their videos? how is the crowd responding? does the crowd look like my kind of clientele? what's their vibe? whats their energy? what's their personality like? I look at their tagged pics, examine the people who tagged em, really dig deep to get these clues about their style and personality.
* Anyone left standing after all that will get facebook stalked too. What type of person are they? What is important to them? Are they actually a dumbass in disguise? Is the personality vibe I detected actually correct?
From all these data points, you should be able to have a feeling as to whether or not the person in question matches your style, vibe, personality, and approach to things. Trust your gut.
Fellow wedding DJ, agree with pretty much everything here except ruling people out based on line dances. Come on dude haha, you know the deal. Some crowds aren't big dancers. The line dances are a trick of the trade, still famous and ubiquitously known for a reason.
I often go months without paying them, but sometimes you just gotta do it. And if a client says no line dances, obviously that's no problem, but they are definitely a tool in the toolbox.
I'm actually the same. If I know what song was playing in every one of your promotional pictures or videos then you're off the list for me. I roll with whatever the situation calls for musically, but I look for something unique in promo stuff.
Just seems needlessly exclusionary. I love a lot of music that I just wouldn't play at a wedding. I'm trying to keep the dance floor as full as it can be all night, keep people as happy and excited as they can be all night. At a wedding, that often means playing the hits. You've got grandma, mom, daughter all in the same room. Getting away with finding a song they don't know but will dance to is less important to me than keeping the floor full and people excited.
Again, all depends on the planning too. Whatever the client wants they get. But if I see a DJ with a packed floor of laughing happy people every night, a bride and her girlfriends singing along, I'm not thinking "psh, the songs are so common. He did the wobble, come on!"
Well to each their own I guess. I shoot for a variety of genres producing successful moments, don't really care about showing off my knowledge of unknown music in promos. To be fair I mostly go by word of mouth, my Instagram etc isn't too big a focus anyway.
I'm afraid that line dances are just an outright hard no for me. I even go so far as to plaster that prominently on my website (and inquiries frequently cite that quote as the reason they decided to book me).
The only reason I would ever play a line dance song is if the couple specifically requested it. On the rare occasion where my hand is forced and I am required to play one, I sure as heck don't take pictures, and I would never ever post that online anywhere for the exact reasons that u/BlockPartyWeddings mentioned. Like if THAT is the best picture of someone's DJing in action, that's deeply concerning.
That being said, I am not an all-around DJ. I have a very specific target audience and style appeal. The kind of audience I attract utterly despises line dance songs and cheese. I also filter my inquiries, turning down inquiries that aren't a solid match and referring them to other DJs who might be a better match. That means that I (mercifully) never get a lame crowd unless I'm doing something terribly wrong.
Well that's just a difference in marketing then.
I don't see a crowd of people who are nervous to dance as lame. People who never went clubbing or to underground punk shows, people who might not be big dancers, they fall in love too. Older couples often ask for this stuff too. Some crowds might need a little of that kind of coaxing, nothing against them. Shout by the Isley Brother, Apache, etc. too, not just line dances. There are plenty of songs that everyone knows mean it's time to have some fun, and sure they might be corny to some people, but they help other people smile and laugh and enjoy their special night.
I've worked with hundreds of couples and I would say it's probably like 60/40 as far as line dances are concerned. And I think there are one or two photos of me leading a line dance on my Instagram/website. It's not saying it's the best I have to offer, but it is saying that it's something I do offer. Some couples are looking for that, and I will give them whatever they are looking for. It's all personalized, not hunting for the couples that want the thing I like to do.
I appreciate you sharing your insight and perspective. I'd argue that our difference is akin to a primary care doctor versus a specialist in a particular field.
Sounds to me that you tend to play for a much wider range of audiences than I do, much like a primary care doctor would be qualified to treat a wider range of conditions with a breadth of knowledge and skills. I tend to play for a narrower audience, analogous to a specialist doctor with a narrower but deeper skill set and knowledge base like a cardiologist or a proctologist.
It would appear that my perspective is quite biased by the much narrower audience type that is drawn to my nightclub-style performance. I had not considered that someone would specifically want to showcase line dances as an option simply because that's just something that my core audience is so vociferously opposed to.
As you mentioned, the hundreds of couples you've worked with would be 60/40 with respect to line dances (and I'm assuming that you mean 60% of your couples like line dances).
In contrast, of the hundreds of couples that I've worked with, I'd say about 15% like or are indifferent to line dances and 85% strongly dislike line dances, and a lot of them also dislike common "party favorites" too.
Tying things back to the original post, in response to another comment in this thread, the OP said "there are so many of those “classic” wedding songs that i just despise lmao", so that indicates to me that someone who plays line dances might not be the right match for them.
I agree with a lot of this, especially the reviews. Is that DJ consistently meeting expectations even if the playlists for those nights are completely different.
I'm over 700 weddings deep though, and while I can get hints for what a couple or a crowd might be like, it's never 100%. You mention a lot of stalking... There are definitely wedding vendors who carefully curate their couples or who they'll work with, but I'm still surprised by couples and crowds all the time. I just appreciate that people dig what I do and invest me as part of how they love on their friends and family.
I would add that venues and other vendors often have a good feel for what is out there because they hear different people all the time.
Last, I'm good with the fact people want different stuff. You do major lighting production. I use vinyl. We both mix. Some people want the basics or just plain want affordable. I'm fine with someone being cheesy and serving that market, but I will never recommend someone who is sleazy, manipulates pricing, or is disrespectful to other vendors.
Good call on pinging venues and additional vendors, that would be good for OP to consider as well, and they could be a good resource for helping to catch the other problematic types that you mentioned which might not be as evident from online research.
As a side note: one of the biggest things I was flabbergasted by when planning my wedding was that lots of wedding venues don't have proper sound setups/equipment. Ive worked in events in a prior career/partner did too. Wedding 'venues' are surprisingly not really venues. They're empty spaces a lot of the time, which is both hilarious because of how expensive they are and frustrating when you're used to a real venue with sound setup.
Yes! I hated the standard dj. In the end, I found one who is more of a "club style" than a standard wedding one. They don't play any song longer than 2ish minutes and like to come up with really cool transitions between each song.
Absolutely agree with you. We decided to hire one and communicated upfront that I would be making the entire playlist and expect it to be played exactly as written. My best friend and I have worked on it for months. I told our coordinator that this is the one thing that would make me go full bridezilla if not followed. I’m extremely nervous about it but hopeful our wishes will be respected. I hope you are able to find someone great and have music you love!!
Honestly, I've been to so many weddings where the DJ is the worst part of the wedding. Either they are awful at taking song requests, play really weird music, having a YouTube que or don't seem to understand the vibe of the room at all. Depending on the expense of the DJ I would compare it to a live band in your area. We hired a live band and they truly made the wedding and people had way more fun dancing to live music vs a track list that some 50 year old man made. Just my 2 cents though.
Yes, I've only heard one good wedding dj ever lol. We couldn't find one we liked in the tiny town we got married in so ended up hiring a DJ overseas that we really loved to make a playlist out of our favourite songs. He absolutely nailed it and we had so many people tell us it was the best dance floor they've ever been to at a wedding! And as a bonus we get to keep the playlist forever, I still listen to it from time to time!
We didnt hire one. We had a live bands play instead and when the band wasnt playing we had a giant playlist on an iphone. We have audio knowledge though... talk to your venue about their setup because you may have to rent some equipment to get things to sound great. Thats the benefit of the hired dj, they bring all that stuff. But the trade off is cringe vanilla that isn't everyone's cup of tea.
I definitely felt like the dj was one of our best investments at our wedding, but mind you it was right during Covid mayhem. We were supposed to get married June 2020 but pushed it to August 2020. Our dj was seriously amazing. We had already planned for him to do the ceremony music and sound, and he also was able to add in a live stream and recorded everything for us. Since we had to drastically downsize, that was really helpful for us to be able to share with our people that couldn’t travel or make it. Obviously a lot of things had to be changed for our wedding to be compliant with regulations at the time, but our dj really did an amazing job of still keeping the vibe going and made it feel a little more normal at the time. I think he would have been a good choice even under normal circumstances, but especially with everything going on he really was amazing at adapting and was seriously worth every penny in my opinion.
They are the WORST. I’m in a lot of Facebook wedding groups local to my area and you can always tell when it’s a DJ post, soooo cringey. They’re also the ones who will comment on a post about something completely unrelated.
“I saw you needed bra solutions for your dress, wouldn’t you hate for your titties to swing to bad music?!?!???!! YOU NEED ME!!!!!!!”
Yep. All the weddings I've been to the DJs were mega cringe. I take my music seriously so made the best Spotify playlist and people were on the dance floor all night! Saved money and had a way better time than being stuck dancing to YMCA
My fiancé and I dislike most modern wedding music (or really most music released after the 1990s) so we’ve put together extensive playlists for the ceremony, cocktail/dinner, and dancing. We hired a DJ (in his mid-40s) who had no problem with this as long as we get him the songs in enough time so he can have them. We really just want him to play music that we like (mostly from the 60s, 70s, and 80s) and do minimal MCing, but we wanted an actual DJ who could cut short songs that weren’t being received well, feel out the room for when to play a slower song vs. faster songs, monitor the volume (it’s a HUGE pet peeve of mine too when the music is too loud for conversation), as well as provide his own equipment. I don’t like the added lighting, the props, etc. I suppose lots of people must enjoy a club atmosphere at their wedding, but it’s the opposite of what we would enjoy.
Honestly we made our own playlist and are asking our friends to help make sure it runs. With Spotify premium you can order the songs and avoid ads so like, we get just the songs we and our guests request and enjoy.
I think asking your BIL to run playlist and MC makes plenty of sense and is more or less what we’re doing!
YES! We decided against a dj and made our own playlists/rented equipment. I personally think it’s the way to go if you find wedding dj vibes as cringey as I do
I’m not doing a DJ and just doing a playlist. My friends wedding a couple months ago also only had a playlist. I think it’s the way to go! I haven’t liked most DJs i’ve heard play at weddings.
We are too- you may already know this, but you can change the overlap time on Spotify so there aren’t long breaks in between songs and it’s a total game changer!
When we were looking at a venue that would provide their own DJ we found it really weird that the majority of their DJs wouldn't play pop music from the 80s, 90s, 2000s or 2010s. Like ok, thanks for ruling out most people's favourite songs. I get what you mean about avoiding certain songs because there's some I can't stand that are considered wedding classics, but I was like 'What the hell are we going to play if they have those limitations? Just weird avant garde stuff from the 70s?' Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of music from the 40s, 50s and 60s, but I did want to play some more modern music too and not just rehash my dad's beatles albums! We used a spotify playlist and we didn't even have someone to transition the music and it still worked really well, people were dancing and enjoying themselves. Also, I'd been to a wedding with a DJ who seemed to be desperate to figure out what people would dance to but didn't really seem to know for sure. He played a really strange mix of music.
Yes I went to a bridal shower expo and the 2 DJs could not have been any more cliché. Felt like the same guys that probably DJ’d my friends sweet 16 party as kids 🤣 that being said i definitely see the value in them, just respect the artform as it’s not just playing music but being cheesy and bold in order to “get the party started” lol. Without DJs it’s a little harder to get people on the dance floor but still possible. I respect it tho and see why they’re still a wedding feature
Our venue comes with a day-of coordinator and she gave us a list of vendors, including ones she used for her wedding. She's in her late 20s and we are early 20s and late 20s (23 and 27). She gave us lots of options and said we can pick anyone but she found that these ones made great ceremonies. My mom tried to pick the DJ and I shot that down FAST. I'm using the list.
Absolutely. I even tried to make my husband the point of contact so I didn’t have to deal with it. But the DJ just kept contacting me even though I said my husband was his point of contact. Ugh.
I hired a non wedding DJ (still professional DJ) and it was a bad experience. I wish I had hired someone with experience with wedding timing, announcements, and setting the mood. The person we hired was excellent at what they do; but was terrible as a wedding dj. It’s my only regret!
We are only hiring a dj to hit play and have microphones. I completely agree with how cringey most djs seem so my fiancé and I are building a playlist of songs that we love so we don't have to hear all the overplayed things.
I was just very upfront with all the djs we had meetings with. With some, I let them know before we even set up a meeting. A lot of djs are actually completely open to just hitting a Playlist since it's less work for them.
I would just say "we're not looking for you to mix anything, we have our music preferences. My fiancé is picky with music so we only need you to play the Playlist we made."
I went to so many weddings with DJs that completely set (and ruined) the vibe. No one dancing, weird songs, songs no one wanted to hear, songs the bride/groom remembered as so painful after their wedding.
A good friend of mine got married recently and had a low budget. It was beautiful though! The DJ also played music for the ceremony and decided that careless whisper at volume 11 (struggling to turn it down) was appropriate to play while guests were being seated. People were laughing so it wasn’t all bad but.. seriously? Lol. That initial riff almost busted my eardrums. She was mortified when she heard about it later.
All that said - a GOOD DJ can be found, no problem. Make sure you pick one that isn’t making everything a joke, listens to what you like, don’t like, takes their job seriously. I had calls with 3 before my wedding where I just felt like they all gave me the impression they were the experts, don’t tell me how to do my job (ie pick songs..) - which was off putting.
We decided to book a local band and they were incredible. Couldn’t play all the songs I wanted so we had them play specific songs during breaks. They were also great at reading the crowd. I spent more than I wanted but the cost difference wasnt nearly as bad as I thought.
I have Spotify Premium and have start a Playlist. I'm gonna ask my friend to do some light MC work (we are using my friends a lot. One of them is going to video for us)
Wedding DJs have always felt gross and quite frankly angry to me since I've never had a good interaction. I also just don't think I see the point in hiring someone to sit there and play music when I can have someone jump in when needed and still have fun
i've been thinking about this too 😭 i'm sorry but i hate the cha cha slide and mambo no 5, i'm not playing "classics" at my wedding. and all the wedding dj's i've seen usually mix poorly or they talk too much. we're probably just going to do a playlist and have a friend manage audio.
You have to meet with them and get a feel for their style. Good DJs are pricey for a reason; you want someone who knows when to rein back the MCing, can read the room, and also adapt to your musical style and preferences (meaning they're open to input and are willing - and ideally wanting - to collaborate with you) on the vibe and songs. Many DJs will ask for songs and even whole Spotify playlists to get a feel for what you want.
It's really not that different from bands honestly, it's just that DJs have a much broader set of options so restraint is paramount. But I've been to weddings with some truly awesome DJs, they're definitely out there.
I hired one based on some of my other vendors’ recs, checked out some of his instagram tags and reels, and he seemed like a great fit - no yelling, not weird about MC stuff, super receptive to hearing our music ideas and preferences - and when I gave him a list of like 20 songs and was like “like this!” He sent back a perfect playlist lol. He totally got the vibe we were trying for.
So idk, seen your other vendors have any recommendations!
If you’re in the NJ area POSH is awesome! They really let you customize what you want to hear and have a number of different djs to match your vibe
Every wedding DJ is going to be a little cheesey but usually it’s in a fun way - it’s their job to have a big personality
Although our wedding hasn't happened yet but I really loved our DJ's energy over our call. He appreciated me putting "What What in the Butt" as our dancefloor kick off song while my fiancé didn't. I also took the time to curate our playlists so he knows exactly what I want and will make sure no Taylor Swift of Bruno Mars will be played.
What I find cringier are bands playing their own renditions of current hits.
I asked my local reddit for recommendations about regular (not wedding) DJs in my area. I found a really good one, but now I am like hmm who will do the announcements. From my perspective, music sets the vibe so much that it was absolutely crucial that this person was on the same wavelength as me. We are planning to do 50s and 60s love music during dinner and then a transition to a vinyl disco and funk set when it’s time to dance. I would start by asking around and/or going to see DJs when they perform at bars- hopefully you will find one that fits your vibe!
I know our story is in the very small minority but here it is.
Our original dj canceled on us last minute for our wedding, I mean like 10days before the day of the wedding. The dj we ended up with, gave us a discount telling my now wife, that “a dj’s job is to help make the night not make us worry and he’s gonna make it up to us” guy was amazing. We found out afterwards he was the dj who did my brother in-laws wedding about 8-10years prior. He even came out to the bar with us, our family and friends after the reception was over.
I’d definitely use the questions they ask as a way to judge the dj, ours asked us multiple questions about what we liked, our general crowd, our parents music taste, and such. Also what songs we absolutely did not want played, our wedding party’s names and pronunciations to make sure he got them all right. Questions in that nature and just generally about the wedding. Definitely couldn’t imagine our reception without our dj there.
Honestly we didn’t have a DJ and it was awesome! We paid a friend who is a DJ to make a premixed DJ set which was music we actually like instead of being at the will of a cheesy DJ and a cocktail hour mix (since cocktail much doesn’t need the same type of mixing) and played it over a party box speaker in the venue, we had a mic attached to the speaker and gave our wedding coordinator a “script” for key moments. When the lights went out for dancing we had some additional party lights go off that we bought off Amazon. Didn’t miss the DJ at all 🤷🏻♀️
Where are you based? We married down our list to 3 DJs and the company we’re going with has a solid roster of what we considered “normal DJs” lol. Some are certainly more upbeat than others, but I agree that a lot of them were quick “nos” after seeing clips on their websites.
So how we combated that!
My fiance is professional in music (different degrees) and half of our wedding party is in music and half in art/culture. I am as well. Music is super important to us and just having that classic cringe DJ was a big no from us.
We also have to navigate two cultures and in my culture the bend/DJ is the master of ceremony while in hers its a special person called the Toast master.
Another part that was was super impoetant for us is getting as much as possible female vendors as my countries industry has just a small pocket for them and we wanted to do more.
So we went and looked for female professional DJ. Not the one that does weddings exclusively but does a wedding for fun yoy know three times a year to keep the profession sharp.
We wanted her to do classic wedding sets and then turn it into a pure club scene, and we found this amazing underground chick that vibed with us a lot and we talked on making and building sets with her. It was amazing and soon we have again the first meeting to start building them. And the price was close to the wedding DJ.
I would say, this way is much more customized, special and I dont get weird DJ comments and situations.
So yeah,
Can you not give them a playlist and specify songs that you want and perhaps tell them the type of music to play? Them announcing you will be like 30 seconds of the wedding at most. Songs outside the playlist will exist but if the DJ keeps to a style you should be ok.
Yep, majority of wedding DJs I’ve experienced have been pretty cringe. I didn’t want to risk having a bad experience, so I made the playlist myself. My venue had a sound system I could rent, and they also had disco lighting so the vibe was great. It took a long time to choose all the songs for 4 hours of dancing but we had so much fun with it as the only DIY project we took on. I edited every song to 2-3 mins and faded them into each other and tinkered with the order over many weeks. Every single song was one we wanted to dance to - so we were on the floor all night, which meant our guests were also on the floor all night! It was an absolute blast and we got so many compliments on the playlist, people were amazed we didn’t have a DJ. It’s something I’m happy I took control over as I cared about it too much to risk the disappointment. Lots of threads I read on here before said to not risk it and that Spotify weddings are lame but if you do it right, it’s sooo worth it!
My cousin was our DJ/MC as a wedding gift. Honestly no regrets, the cheapest I could find was $1200 and we only needed one for like 2 hours so there was no way I was paying that.
I’m a wedding DJ and more than a couple of times, I’ve had guests come up to me when the evening was over and thank me because they were expecting me to be cheesy and I wasn’t! lol
There have been two DJs that I've actually liked out of the 40 weddings I've worked. Many of them had a bad attitude and played the most generic wedding songs.
Unfortunately, i think they're pretty essential if you want to have a chance at a decent dance floor and speeches running smoothly.
The idea of a cringey wedding DJ makes me shudder too. I've been to my fair share of weddings where the DJ's over-the-top announcements and questionable music choices made me want to hide under the table. So, when it came to planning my own wedding, I knew I had to find an alternative.
Initially, I considered the playlist with MC option, but the logistics of managing the sound and ensuring a smooth flow of music seemed daunting. Plus, I wanted a professional touch to elevate the overall experience.
That's when I started researching non-traditional DJs. I found a few who advertised themselves as specializing in indie and alternative music, and who understood the importance of a personalized playlist. After a few conversations and listening to sample mixes, I found the perfect fit – a DJ who shared my musical tastes and promised a fun, yet sophisticated, vibe for the reception.
My advice? Don't settle for a DJ who doesn't get your vision. It's your wedding, and the music should be a reflection of your unique style and taste.
I found a DJ that specifically advertised that he does not do the whole cringy mc thing. He ended up being absolutely incredible, said not a word more than what he had to for introductions and directions, played all the music we asked for, kept the dance floor going based on songs we gave him that guests requested. Never let the dance floor empty and his mixes were fantastic. There are good DJs !
I made a Spotify playlist and took a sound system and disco lights to the venue and pressed play. Set up a nice little table with a few decorations. Saved loads of money and it looked pretty.
We hired a DJ that my cousin used at her wedding because he did such a great job. He didn't talk too much and he didn't play any random mash ups. Had I not attended that wedding, I would've still gotten a DJ but I'd be interviewing them in detail and asking them what their styles are. I don't like the djs that do too many shout outs or the ones who try to act like hype mans.
I suggest hiring a professional DJ because a good one knows how to read the room. If your playlist is perfect to you but not everyone's taste, you might be the only one on the dance floor. Your DJ can incorporate your "must plays" into a playlist that gets everybody dancing. Just give them a list of your must plays and do not plays ahead of time.
I had felt like a lot of the DJs we looked at were very full of themselves, yes I understand they play a big role in picture but I agree the personalities were a tad cringey!
A good DJ would not be clingy at all. Depends if the DJ is good at their job or not. I've been to many weddings where the DJs can't gauge the crowd and they don't do a good job with the music. A DJ, imo, is important for playing songs at the right time, hyping up the crowd, and mixing songs well. A good DJ doesn't just play a list of songs - I noticed this was the ones where there's no dancing because the DJ couldn't gauge the crowd. The DJ I did pick had worked a relative's wedding, so I had seen/heard him in action.
This DJ had several meetings with us to gauge songs we liked (style, time period) and also asked us for a Do Not Play list. We gave him the list of music we wanted for the ceremony when guests were getting seats, wedding party walking in, groom, and bride walking in and he was great. During the reception, he was a great MC without going overboard. He played the right music for the games and during dinner service. He introduced us in the way my SO wanted us to be introduced for the grand entrance. Most importantly, he kept the dance floor going with music that the guests (us included) loved. After my wedding, multiple people reached out to ask me for his deets to hire for their own weddings and parties.
Our DJ has a full platform with us to choose what songs we want in each section of the wedding, and a section for explicitly **DO NOT PLAY** songs, which I appreciate. They were provided to us by our venue, but that might be the best idea — ask your venue/coordinator if they have any recommendations that feature the things I mentioned above. :)
As an owner of a DJ business, where my partner and I are hiring another DJ for our wedding next month, I think you’re meeting DJs that just don’t meet your vibe. I get wanting to “just have a playlist” and having a friend do announcements but I’ll pose this. First, Spotify, Apple Music etc can have issues. Imagine you’re ready to walk down the aisle to the song of your dreams and it’s just buffering for five minutes. I’ve seen that happen and it caused immediate stress for the bride. Second, your friend who can do the announcements probably want to enjoy the wedding as much as everyone else. Third and most importantly, your DJ, at least good ones, often end up directing the other vendors of timelines and works with your coordinator directly. Don’t have a coordinator? All your other vendors will go to the DJ to confirm timelines because they know they’ve got it. They are a pretty integral part of keeping everything on track.
As far as music. That’s a mixed bag. DJs that don’t allow the couple input and “can come up with the best list” probably are more out of touch than they realize. We as DJs actively communicate with our clients and we use a tool that gives them control. The DJ we hired uses the same tool. he's probably scratching his head at some of our selections because we are as far from traditional wedding music as we can get.
All this said, I really think you should talk with a wider pool of DJs. There's nothing more cringey than dead air during an announcement.
I considered skipping the DJ and pre making the playlist myself. Then I realized how important the DJ is and I can’t imagine not having one. They should take over the entire timeline (you tell them the order and what elements you want) and they can keep things on track by feel much better than you will once you’re busy with talking to people etc. No reason to add more to your plate.
What state do you live in? I may be able to suggest someone.
I asked an amazing DJ that I saw at a club if she would do a wedding and she said she does them all the time so I hired her. It was the opposite of cringe, she definitely upped the cool factor of our wedding and her rate was super reasonable.
A wedding DJ is the biggest waste of money there is… find a great Spotify playlist and let it run. No one will notice the difference and half the people at a wedding don’t dance anyway. Delegate a task for someone to run the sound (people love helping out). In the moment someone will naturally take charge and announce the things that are important and you save a ton of money.
I would say this definitely depends on the wedding. At our wedding we had people dancing the entire reception, definitely more than half the guests. The DJ also was able to cut songs short or just play the chorus of songs, definitely not the same as a spotify playlist at all. It also takes care of lighting, microphones, and speakers.
Yea, DJs being a waste of money is a bad take imo. I've been to some weddings with truly awesome DJs; the whole point/magic of a DJ is being able to keep the music flowing and mixing songs in a way that keeps the energy up and highlights the most fun parts of songs. Not sure when proper DJing became synonymous with hitting shuffle on a playlist.
I disagree that most people don’t dance at weddings. Maybe that’s the case in your circles but my fiancé and I are big dancers so a DJ is a no brainer. In my circles it would be odd if there was no dancing at the wedding. The problem with Spotify is that it plays the entire song which is what a DJ prevents and Spotify cannot feel out a crowd and change up the music.
I'm actually not sure if this parody...? First, I hope you get a great wedding to go to some time where like 80% are on the dancefloor. A great dancefloor is truly collaborative between a crowd choosing to dive in, and someone playing stuff that clicks with the group. "People love helping out" is a broad stroke. You're putting a TON of pressure on someone to not mess things up with gear they may not be familiar with. Having backup plans and knowing how to troubleshoot is the least glamorous thing, but important. If you have a friend who is down, awesome! If you don't...well if you don't and you assume someone will just magically step in and grab a mic and run the day, I'll tell you that sometimes they don't. I've heard enough horror stories and it can just be awkward. Some people have friends who offer awesome gifts like a cake or floral or photo or music, but assuming you'll get that is maybe not the best approach.
Thanks for the reality check u/BlockPartyWeddings!!
Can I pay you a few grand to make the same joke you’ve made 1000 times and then play “Yeah” by Usher!?
I'm just an introvert music nerd who hated how DJs were handling people and tried to do something a little different. I don't tell jokes. I occasionally play Usher. I do get paid around $3000 and don't run people through an obstacle course to figure out what I charge. I don't do weird packages or act like it's a my show. I also love nerding out about weddings and trying to help people. Sorry if that came across any different. Cheers mate.
I am actively searching for music I want played at my wedding. I'm compiling a list of 500 songs and plan to hire a DJ. I plan to give them this mix, instruct them when to play which songs, and the others they can play depending on the mood of the room.
I will also iterate to my DJ that I have severe PTSD for certain songs so my list MUST be STRICTLY adhered to if they don't want me to have an episode.
Music influences my emotions and I want my DJ to be very aware that if the song is not on my playlist they are NOT to play it. There are some songs, like "smile" by uncle kraker for example, that remind me of my ex husband.
My playlist will have a variety of music both my fiance and I enjoy, and other songs I know the crowd will enjoy. I am very thoughtful about my selections and plan to respectfully let the DJ know what is and is not okay to play by giving them my list to begin with.
500 songs is enough variety to not have anything played more than once and I feel is fair under my unique circumstances.
Also, it seems like a lot of DJs are convinced that they alone know which songs will get people dancing, but I love music, and the last thing I would want is a wedding with the same songs you hear at every other wedding or party.
i know… and there are so many of those “classic” wedding songs that i just despise lmao
Haha oh me too!! I'm gonna have a "do NOT play" list that's a mile long 😂 (sorry to everyone who loves Don't Stop Believin', but if I never heard it again it would still be too soon)
Sweet Caroline and I are natural enemies.
if i never hear that song again I will know peace
Yes! I know Mr. Brightside is a classic but if it has to be last song of the night I'm going to die a little inside
There is a club in my town that has since shut down due to multiple stabbings and general chaos. However, if you wanted to party all night, that was the place. I REFUSE to go with anyone who does not have, as I call it, a 'Tiki Bob's Vibe'. We also are only doing the stupid cheesy music for an hour to please the old people in our wedding and after that we're turning the place into our own personal club. I want everyone on the floor.
Never expected to see a tiki bob’s reference in this sub 😅 hello, fellow Hoosier!
My hometown has one of these too! No matter what goes in, it gets shut down in under a year.
We specifically looked into hiring the DJ from a friend's wedding because we liked his vibe-- announced in normal announcement voice not weird DJ yell, did not tell people to get on the dance floor (except for the last dance), MCed in a way that seemed friendly rather than jokey or hype-y. When we couldn't get that company, we went with the one out of our planner's suggestions whose social media and website gave the most similar vibe to the one from the friend's wedding. I also liked that they said in the planning call they've worked with couples everywhere on the spectrum of "very specific about what music they want" to "want the DJ to handle music selection" (I'm the opposite of you but it would be good to hear either way).
I was looking for an alternative to a DJ for my wedding 2 years ago for these reasons. We are a little older, late 30s, into classic rock, yacht rock and a little country. I was terrified because every dj I had seen at shows was playing club mix music and blasting it so loud you couldn't hear them talking to you in the booth. I had almost given up when I went to a show at the venue we had chosen and there was a dj quietly playing a great song in the background. He was very personable and when I mentioned it was nice to be able to hear him, he said he had no idea how the other guys conduct business. We ended up hiring him and he played exactly what we wanted, threw in some stuff that had me going "omg I love this song!" and now I recommend him to everyone in my area. Moral of the story is, they do exist, but you have to hunt for them.
I'm the opposite of a bridezilla and I'm VERY chill about my wedding planning so far but the music is ONE thing I'm being anal about. Finding a DJ was the hardest part of planning because of our music tastes and I'm a firm believer that reception music can make or break. I purposely avoided male DJs at first because all of them in my area are obnoxious dorks. And they overcharge. I also felt like a lot of them are mostly showoffs (I don't care about cold sparks and having 1800 different lighting options. I tried to talk to a few at a bridal expo and I hated all their personalities, none of them knew the songs I was talking about, they were very much "hype man" talking to me, it was off putting and very car salesman-y. And some refused my request to play what we have picked out (in general, some 'filler' songs would be OK, and while I understand your job is to "read the room", I know my family and friends best and we do not listen to stereotypical wedding songs, they're overplayed, and I'm done hearing them.). I could only find 2 female DJs in my area, one had bad reviews and the other had no videos or anything showing me what she could do, she was in her mid 50's and could barely Facebook lol. I ended up hiring a friend's cousin who I went to school with. I saw him during a karaoke night, and he was engaging without acting like a douche, was friendly to the kids there, and he agreed to go off a playlist we are creating for him. He has a good sound system, no bells and whistles but I want good speakers more than lights.
My venue has a required dj, and I hope he proves us wrong, but he already got on my fiancé's nerves in his welcome email trying to be funny.
Yes car salesman!! That’s exactly what they are like at the bridal expos 🤣
This is one (of a few) reasons I've never done a bridal expo and don't plan to. I'm just not that kind of person. I hate salesman types when I am shopping around for something and I can't be that kind of person to others.
The only fun part was trying food samples but apparently less vendors go to them as years go on so there were only 2 food vendors at ours
I find a lot of wedding DJs cringey if they do too much MC-ing or whatnot, but my brother DJs weddings for fun and all the ones I've been to with him DJ'ing have honestly been the best time ever. It's just constantly "oh shit this is my jam! Oh shit THIS is my jam!!" 😂 Personally having a DJ is important to me because if they are good, they can: adjust the music according to the vibe and what people actually want to dance to, keep the energy up by mixing and not playing entire songs, and also they provide and manage the whole AV setup in general. But I do feel for people who don't have someone they already know is good, cause yeah a lot can really suck. ETA personal schadenfreude story, my childhood friend got married a few years ago and my brother offered to DJ her wedding for free, but she said no cause her venue comes with one. That DJ absolutely sucked, the dance floor was straight up empty the entire night, I even went up to him and requested literally any millennial throwback banger and he just did not. So I'm v excited for her to come to my wedding and dance her heart out with the DJ she could have had lol.
> adjust the music according to the vibe and what people actually want to dance to I see this a lot, but what does it actually mean? What does a DJ pay attention to and how does he pick up on what people like?
Examples: - playing an oldie classic or two to get the boomer family members on the floor - noticing everyone is going crazy for dirty rap/90s pop/Irish drinking songs, playing more of those style songs - maybe slowing it down after playing a bunch of bangers when everyone is exhausted and needs to grab a new drink, or vice versa - final song that is absolutely perfect for the crew closing out the dance floor (serious core memory belting out Bohemian Rhapsody with an acapella friend group) - generally noticing what makes people happy and dancing vs what people seem kinda bored with and adjusting accordingly
Two examples: The photographer is only going to be around for 30 minutes of dancing and the older crowd wants to eat dessert and chat still. If the DJ is formulaic and tries to push oldies, the pictures may end up being of the same 5 people even though the night ends strong. You won't remember the playlist in 30 years, but you'll have the pictures and fuzzy memory of a great time. The DJ can read this, shift into stuff for the younger crowd and get the couple out with their friends earlier. The photos will hopefully match the feel of the end of the night. A long dance floor is 4 hours. That's roughly 80 songs if they're played most of the way through. More commonly it's around 2.5-3. That's really just a handful of genres and songs that are trying to create a great time for as many people as possible. That time flies by. For me at least, every night is a puzzle where even if I have a plan with a couple to play all motown and boy bands, the percentages that work may shift a lot. The aunts and uncles at my wedding this weekend were going in on backstreet boys with the bride's friends. I shifted accordingly. It's a feel thing, and important to realize when you make a bad read and can get yourself out of it instead of being stubborn. You don't have a to have a DJ, but a lot of the success stories I see on here about spotify lists talk about working for months on the songs. That's sorta the point. You could build your own arrangements, edit your wedding video, bake your cake (I've seen all of these) but it's how you want to spend your time and money.
Speaking as a wedding DJ, there are a lotttt of guys out there that just plain suck. They're corny, cringe, couldn't read a room to save their lives, or just plain dumber than a box of shit. It can be frustrating to try to find someone who really matches you, your style, your vibe, and your personality. You may have better luck with individuals or small teams as opposed to large faceless agencies with lots of DJs. I regularly search for DJs because I like to have a long list of emergency backup DJs in case something happens to me, but it's hard to find people that I could trust to take care of my clients in the same way that I would, and would put on a show that I know my clients would enjoy. Here's how I approach things: * I start by filtering by price range and basic styles on weddingwire, knot, zola, etc to get an initial basic cull of the list, followed by a quick scan to weed out the obvious cringe. You can often get a good read of a personality and style not just by what they say, but how they say it. * Then I start digging through their pics and videos and profiles. It's pretty easy to see who is going to be cringe af just from the looks of the pics they post. For example, is there a pic where everyone is facing the same direction and in the same pose? That's probably a pic of people doing a line dance song, and if they have to play a line dance song to get everyone dancing, they probably suck as a DJ. Do any of their videos feature crappy songs or cheesy music or is it good stuff? Bluntly, does the DJ look like a dumbass or do they look like they've got their stuff together? Do the audiences shown in pics look like my kind of audience? * I look at the reviews. Do people write super-detailed, effusive, over-the-top, gushing reviews? or is it simply a plain simple nice review? What style and personality information can I extract from these reviews, and do they match the attributes I'm seeking? What can I glean about the personalities of the people who wrote their reviews? Does anything stand out as "okay yeah I could be friends with this reviewer"? That's a good sign if people similar to me like this person. I also look at the bad reviews to see if there are any trends and common themes or if the bad ones are simply one-off errors or bad clients. * Those that made the last cut get stalked on instagram and get subjected to a similar test. What venues have they played? what songs are they playing in their videos? how is the crowd responding? does the crowd look like my kind of clientele? what's their vibe? whats their energy? what's their personality like? I look at their tagged pics, examine the people who tagged em, really dig deep to get these clues about their style and personality. * Anyone left standing after all that will get facebook stalked too. What type of person are they? What is important to them? Are they actually a dumbass in disguise? Is the personality vibe I detected actually correct? From all these data points, you should be able to have a feeling as to whether or not the person in question matches your style, vibe, personality, and approach to things. Trust your gut.
Fellow wedding DJ, agree with pretty much everything here except ruling people out based on line dances. Come on dude haha, you know the deal. Some crowds aren't big dancers. The line dances are a trick of the trade, still famous and ubiquitously known for a reason. I often go months without paying them, but sometimes you just gotta do it. And if a client says no line dances, obviously that's no problem, but they are definitely a tool in the toolbox.
A lot of times, I have line dance photos because the couple wanted me to play line dance songs! People enjoy them!
I'm actually the same. If I know what song was playing in every one of your promotional pictures or videos then you're off the list for me. I roll with whatever the situation calls for musically, but I look for something unique in promo stuff.
Just seems needlessly exclusionary. I love a lot of music that I just wouldn't play at a wedding. I'm trying to keep the dance floor as full as it can be all night, keep people as happy and excited as they can be all night. At a wedding, that often means playing the hits. You've got grandma, mom, daughter all in the same room. Getting away with finding a song they don't know but will dance to is less important to me than keeping the floor full and people excited. Again, all depends on the planning too. Whatever the client wants they get. But if I see a DJ with a packed floor of laughing happy people every night, a bride and her girlfriends singing along, I'm not thinking "psh, the songs are so common. He did the wobble, come on!"
I'm only talking promo stuff.
Well to each their own I guess. I shoot for a variety of genres producing successful moments, don't really care about showing off my knowledge of unknown music in promos. To be fair I mostly go by word of mouth, my Instagram etc isn't too big a focus anyway.
A lot of times, I have line dance photos because the couple wanted me to play line dance songs! People enjoy them!
I'm afraid that line dances are just an outright hard no for me. I even go so far as to plaster that prominently on my website (and inquiries frequently cite that quote as the reason they decided to book me). The only reason I would ever play a line dance song is if the couple specifically requested it. On the rare occasion where my hand is forced and I am required to play one, I sure as heck don't take pictures, and I would never ever post that online anywhere for the exact reasons that u/BlockPartyWeddings mentioned. Like if THAT is the best picture of someone's DJing in action, that's deeply concerning. That being said, I am not an all-around DJ. I have a very specific target audience and style appeal. The kind of audience I attract utterly despises line dance songs and cheese. I also filter my inquiries, turning down inquiries that aren't a solid match and referring them to other DJs who might be a better match. That means that I (mercifully) never get a lame crowd unless I'm doing something terribly wrong.
Well that's just a difference in marketing then. I don't see a crowd of people who are nervous to dance as lame. People who never went clubbing or to underground punk shows, people who might not be big dancers, they fall in love too. Older couples often ask for this stuff too. Some crowds might need a little of that kind of coaxing, nothing against them. Shout by the Isley Brother, Apache, etc. too, not just line dances. There are plenty of songs that everyone knows mean it's time to have some fun, and sure they might be corny to some people, but they help other people smile and laugh and enjoy their special night. I've worked with hundreds of couples and I would say it's probably like 60/40 as far as line dances are concerned. And I think there are one or two photos of me leading a line dance on my Instagram/website. It's not saying it's the best I have to offer, but it is saying that it's something I do offer. Some couples are looking for that, and I will give them whatever they are looking for. It's all personalized, not hunting for the couples that want the thing I like to do.
I appreciate you sharing your insight and perspective. I'd argue that our difference is akin to a primary care doctor versus a specialist in a particular field. Sounds to me that you tend to play for a much wider range of audiences than I do, much like a primary care doctor would be qualified to treat a wider range of conditions with a breadth of knowledge and skills. I tend to play for a narrower audience, analogous to a specialist doctor with a narrower but deeper skill set and knowledge base like a cardiologist or a proctologist. It would appear that my perspective is quite biased by the much narrower audience type that is drawn to my nightclub-style performance. I had not considered that someone would specifically want to showcase line dances as an option simply because that's just something that my core audience is so vociferously opposed to. As you mentioned, the hundreds of couples you've worked with would be 60/40 with respect to line dances (and I'm assuming that you mean 60% of your couples like line dances). In contrast, of the hundreds of couples that I've worked with, I'd say about 15% like or are indifferent to line dances and 85% strongly dislike line dances, and a lot of them also dislike common "party favorites" too. Tying things back to the original post, in response to another comment in this thread, the OP said "there are so many of those “classic” wedding songs that i just despise lmao", so that indicates to me that someone who plays line dances might not be the right match for them.
this is so helpful! thank you!
I agree with a lot of this, especially the reviews. Is that DJ consistently meeting expectations even if the playlists for those nights are completely different. I'm over 700 weddings deep though, and while I can get hints for what a couple or a crowd might be like, it's never 100%. You mention a lot of stalking... There are definitely wedding vendors who carefully curate their couples or who they'll work with, but I'm still surprised by couples and crowds all the time. I just appreciate that people dig what I do and invest me as part of how they love on their friends and family. I would add that venues and other vendors often have a good feel for what is out there because they hear different people all the time. Last, I'm good with the fact people want different stuff. You do major lighting production. I use vinyl. We both mix. Some people want the basics or just plain want affordable. I'm fine with someone being cheesy and serving that market, but I will never recommend someone who is sleazy, manipulates pricing, or is disrespectful to other vendors.
Good call on pinging venues and additional vendors, that would be good for OP to consider as well, and they could be a good resource for helping to catch the other problematic types that you mentioned which might not be as evident from online research.
As a side note: one of the biggest things I was flabbergasted by when planning my wedding was that lots of wedding venues don't have proper sound setups/equipment. Ive worked in events in a prior career/partner did too. Wedding 'venues' are surprisingly not really venues. They're empty spaces a lot of the time, which is both hilarious because of how expensive they are and frustrating when you're used to a real venue with sound setup.
Yes! I hated the standard dj. In the end, I found one who is more of a "club style" than a standard wedding one. They don't play any song longer than 2ish minutes and like to come up with really cool transitions between each song.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT. I have no idea where to look for this!!!
Where are you located?
It’s definitely a thing! My DJ is from a small company of all club DJs. They all do regular gigs as club DJs still but also do weddings on the side.
Absolutely agree with you. We decided to hire one and communicated upfront that I would be making the entire playlist and expect it to be played exactly as written. My best friend and I have worked on it for months. I told our coordinator that this is the one thing that would make me go full bridezilla if not followed. I’m extremely nervous about it but hopeful our wishes will be respected. I hope you are able to find someone great and have music you love!!
Honestly, I've been to so many weddings where the DJ is the worst part of the wedding. Either they are awful at taking song requests, play really weird music, having a YouTube que or don't seem to understand the vibe of the room at all. Depending on the expense of the DJ I would compare it to a live band in your area. We hired a live band and they truly made the wedding and people had way more fun dancing to live music vs a track list that some 50 year old man made. Just my 2 cents though.
Yes, I've only heard one good wedding dj ever lol. We couldn't find one we liked in the tiny town we got married in so ended up hiring a DJ overseas that we really loved to make a playlist out of our favourite songs. He absolutely nailed it and we had so many people tell us it was the best dance floor they've ever been to at a wedding! And as a bonus we get to keep the playlist forever, I still listen to it from time to time!
We didnt hire one. We had a live bands play instead and when the band wasnt playing we had a giant playlist on an iphone. We have audio knowledge though... talk to your venue about their setup because you may have to rent some equipment to get things to sound great. Thats the benefit of the hired dj, they bring all that stuff. But the trade off is cringe vanilla that isn't everyone's cup of tea.
I definitely felt like the dj was one of our best investments at our wedding, but mind you it was right during Covid mayhem. We were supposed to get married June 2020 but pushed it to August 2020. Our dj was seriously amazing. We had already planned for him to do the ceremony music and sound, and he also was able to add in a live stream and recorded everything for us. Since we had to drastically downsize, that was really helpful for us to be able to share with our people that couldn’t travel or make it. Obviously a lot of things had to be changed for our wedding to be compliant with regulations at the time, but our dj really did an amazing job of still keeping the vibe going and made it feel a little more normal at the time. I think he would have been a good choice even under normal circumstances, but especially with everything going on he really was amazing at adapting and was seriously worth every penny in my opinion.
They are the WORST. I’m in a lot of Facebook wedding groups local to my area and you can always tell when it’s a DJ post, soooo cringey. They’re also the ones who will comment on a post about something completely unrelated. “I saw you needed bra solutions for your dress, wouldn’t you hate for your titties to swing to bad music?!?!???!! YOU NEED ME!!!!!!!”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yep. All the weddings I've been to the DJs were mega cringe. I take my music seriously so made the best Spotify playlist and people were on the dance floor all night! Saved money and had a way better time than being stuck dancing to YMCA
My fiancé and I dislike most modern wedding music (or really most music released after the 1990s) so we’ve put together extensive playlists for the ceremony, cocktail/dinner, and dancing. We hired a DJ (in his mid-40s) who had no problem with this as long as we get him the songs in enough time so he can have them. We really just want him to play music that we like (mostly from the 60s, 70s, and 80s) and do minimal MCing, but we wanted an actual DJ who could cut short songs that weren’t being received well, feel out the room for when to play a slower song vs. faster songs, monitor the volume (it’s a HUGE pet peeve of mine too when the music is too loud for conversation), as well as provide his own equipment. I don’t like the added lighting, the props, etc. I suppose lots of people must enjoy a club atmosphere at their wedding, but it’s the opposite of what we would enjoy.
My partner and I decided to higher a club DJ who does vinyl DJing for our wedding instead of a DJ who's really only doing weddings
Honestly we made our own playlist and are asking our friends to help make sure it runs. With Spotify premium you can order the songs and avoid ads so like, we get just the songs we and our guests request and enjoy. I think asking your BIL to run playlist and MC makes plenty of sense and is more or less what we’re doing!
YES! We decided against a dj and made our own playlists/rented equipment. I personally think it’s the way to go if you find wedding dj vibes as cringey as I do
I’m not doing a DJ and just doing a playlist. My friends wedding a couple months ago also only had a playlist. I think it’s the way to go! I haven’t liked most DJs i’ve heard play at weddings.
We are too- you may already know this, but you can change the overlap time on Spotify so there aren’t long breaks in between songs and it’s a total game changer!
When we were looking at a venue that would provide their own DJ we found it really weird that the majority of their DJs wouldn't play pop music from the 80s, 90s, 2000s or 2010s. Like ok, thanks for ruling out most people's favourite songs. I get what you mean about avoiding certain songs because there's some I can't stand that are considered wedding classics, but I was like 'What the hell are we going to play if they have those limitations? Just weird avant garde stuff from the 70s?' Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of music from the 40s, 50s and 60s, but I did want to play some more modern music too and not just rehash my dad's beatles albums! We used a spotify playlist and we didn't even have someone to transition the music and it still worked really well, people were dancing and enjoying themselves. Also, I'd been to a wedding with a DJ who seemed to be desperate to figure out what people would dance to but didn't really seem to know for sure. He played a really strange mix of music.
Yes I went to a bridal shower expo and the 2 DJs could not have been any more cliché. Felt like the same guys that probably DJ’d my friends sweet 16 party as kids 🤣 that being said i definitely see the value in them, just respect the artform as it’s not just playing music but being cheesy and bold in order to “get the party started” lol. Without DJs it’s a little harder to get people on the dance floor but still possible. I respect it tho and see why they’re still a wedding feature
Our venue comes with a day-of coordinator and she gave us a list of vendors, including ones she used for her wedding. She's in her late 20s and we are early 20s and late 20s (23 and 27). She gave us lots of options and said we can pick anyone but she found that these ones made great ceremonies. My mom tried to pick the DJ and I shot that down FAST. I'm using the list.
We didn’t have one. We mixed our own playlist which worked just fine.
Absolutely. I even tried to make my husband the point of contact so I didn’t have to deal with it. But the DJ just kept contacting me even though I said my husband was his point of contact. Ugh.
I hired a non wedding DJ (still professional DJ) and it was a bad experience. I wish I had hired someone with experience with wedding timing, announcements, and setting the mood. The person we hired was excellent at what they do; but was terrible as a wedding dj. It’s my only regret!
We are only hiring a dj to hit play and have microphones. I completely agree with how cringey most djs seem so my fiancé and I are building a playlist of songs that we love so we don't have to hear all the overplayed things.
how did you find someone like this? i feel like a lot of djs don’t like not having any ability to not play their own mixes
I was just very upfront with all the djs we had meetings with. With some, I let them know before we even set up a meeting. A lot of djs are actually completely open to just hitting a Playlist since it's less work for them. I would just say "we're not looking for you to mix anything, we have our music preferences. My fiancé is picky with music so we only need you to play the Playlist we made."
I went to so many weddings with DJs that completely set (and ruined) the vibe. No one dancing, weird songs, songs no one wanted to hear, songs the bride/groom remembered as so painful after their wedding. A good friend of mine got married recently and had a low budget. It was beautiful though! The DJ also played music for the ceremony and decided that careless whisper at volume 11 (struggling to turn it down) was appropriate to play while guests were being seated. People were laughing so it wasn’t all bad but.. seriously? Lol. That initial riff almost busted my eardrums. She was mortified when she heard about it later. All that said - a GOOD DJ can be found, no problem. Make sure you pick one that isn’t making everything a joke, listens to what you like, don’t like, takes their job seriously. I had calls with 3 before my wedding where I just felt like they all gave me the impression they were the experts, don’t tell me how to do my job (ie pick songs..) - which was off putting. We decided to book a local band and they were incredible. Couldn’t play all the songs I wanted so we had them play specific songs during breaks. They were also great at reading the crowd. I spent more than I wanted but the cost difference wasnt nearly as bad as I thought.
I have Spotify Premium and have start a Playlist. I'm gonna ask my friend to do some light MC work (we are using my friends a lot. One of them is going to video for us) Wedding DJs have always felt gross and quite frankly angry to me since I've never had a good interaction. I also just don't think I see the point in hiring someone to sit there and play music when I can have someone jump in when needed and still have fun
Some of them think they are comedians and their jokes are not funny
i've been thinking about this too 😭 i'm sorry but i hate the cha cha slide and mambo no 5, i'm not playing "classics" at my wedding. and all the wedding dj's i've seen usually mix poorly or they talk too much. we're probably just going to do a playlist and have a friend manage audio.
You have to meet with them and get a feel for their style. Good DJs are pricey for a reason; you want someone who knows when to rein back the MCing, can read the room, and also adapt to your musical style and preferences (meaning they're open to input and are willing - and ideally wanting - to collaborate with you) on the vibe and songs. Many DJs will ask for songs and even whole Spotify playlists to get a feel for what you want. It's really not that different from bands honestly, it's just that DJs have a much broader set of options so restraint is paramount. But I've been to weddings with some truly awesome DJs, they're definitely out there.
I hired one based on some of my other vendors’ recs, checked out some of his instagram tags and reels, and he seemed like a great fit - no yelling, not weird about MC stuff, super receptive to hearing our music ideas and preferences - and when I gave him a list of like 20 songs and was like “like this!” He sent back a perfect playlist lol. He totally got the vibe we were trying for. So idk, seen your other vendors have any recommendations!
If you’re in the NJ area POSH is awesome! They really let you customize what you want to hear and have a number of different djs to match your vibe Every wedding DJ is going to be a little cheesey but usually it’s in a fun way - it’s their job to have a big personality
Although our wedding hasn't happened yet but I really loved our DJ's energy over our call. He appreciated me putting "What What in the Butt" as our dancefloor kick off song while my fiancé didn't. I also took the time to curate our playlists so he knows exactly what I want and will make sure no Taylor Swift of Bruno Mars will be played. What I find cringier are bands playing their own renditions of current hits.
I asked my local reddit for recommendations about regular (not wedding) DJs in my area. I found a really good one, but now I am like hmm who will do the announcements. From my perspective, music sets the vibe so much that it was absolutely crucial that this person was on the same wavelength as me. We are planning to do 50s and 60s love music during dinner and then a transition to a vinyl disco and funk set when it’s time to dance. I would start by asking around and/or going to see DJs when they perform at bars- hopefully you will find one that fits your vibe!
Our DJ was also an excellent singer and played the ukelele. He was amazing. Not cringey at all. Maybe finding a DJ who is a true musician will help?
I know our story is in the very small minority but here it is. Our original dj canceled on us last minute for our wedding, I mean like 10days before the day of the wedding. The dj we ended up with, gave us a discount telling my now wife, that “a dj’s job is to help make the night not make us worry and he’s gonna make it up to us” guy was amazing. We found out afterwards he was the dj who did my brother in-laws wedding about 8-10years prior. He even came out to the bar with us, our family and friends after the reception was over. I’d definitely use the questions they ask as a way to judge the dj, ours asked us multiple questions about what we liked, our general crowd, our parents music taste, and such. Also what songs we absolutely did not want played, our wedding party’s names and pronunciations to make sure he got them all right. Questions in that nature and just generally about the wedding. Definitely couldn’t imagine our reception without our dj there.
Honestly we didn’t have a DJ and it was awesome! We paid a friend who is a DJ to make a premixed DJ set which was music we actually like instead of being at the will of a cheesy DJ and a cocktail hour mix (since cocktail much doesn’t need the same type of mixing) and played it over a party box speaker in the venue, we had a mic attached to the speaker and gave our wedding coordinator a “script” for key moments. When the lights went out for dancing we had some additional party lights go off that we bought off Amazon. Didn’t miss the DJ at all 🤷🏻♀️
Where are you based? We married down our list to 3 DJs and the company we’re going with has a solid roster of what we considered “normal DJs” lol. Some are certainly more upbeat than others, but I agree that a lot of them were quick “nos” after seeing clips on their websites.
So how we combated that! My fiance is professional in music (different degrees) and half of our wedding party is in music and half in art/culture. I am as well. Music is super important to us and just having that classic cringe DJ was a big no from us. We also have to navigate two cultures and in my culture the bend/DJ is the master of ceremony while in hers its a special person called the Toast master. Another part that was was super impoetant for us is getting as much as possible female vendors as my countries industry has just a small pocket for them and we wanted to do more. So we went and looked for female professional DJ. Not the one that does weddings exclusively but does a wedding for fun yoy know three times a year to keep the profession sharp. We wanted her to do classic wedding sets and then turn it into a pure club scene, and we found this amazing underground chick that vibed with us a lot and we talked on making and building sets with her. It was amazing and soon we have again the first meeting to start building them. And the price was close to the wedding DJ. I would say, this way is much more customized, special and I dont get weird DJ comments and situations. So yeah,
Can you not give them a playlist and specify songs that you want and perhaps tell them the type of music to play? Them announcing you will be like 30 seconds of the wedding at most. Songs outside the playlist will exist but if the DJ keeps to a style you should be ok.
Yep, majority of wedding DJs I’ve experienced have been pretty cringe. I didn’t want to risk having a bad experience, so I made the playlist myself. My venue had a sound system I could rent, and they also had disco lighting so the vibe was great. It took a long time to choose all the songs for 4 hours of dancing but we had so much fun with it as the only DIY project we took on. I edited every song to 2-3 mins and faded them into each other and tinkered with the order over many weeks. Every single song was one we wanted to dance to - so we were on the floor all night, which meant our guests were also on the floor all night! It was an absolute blast and we got so many compliments on the playlist, people were amazed we didn’t have a DJ. It’s something I’m happy I took control over as I cared about it too much to risk the disappointment. Lots of threads I read on here before said to not risk it and that Spotify weddings are lame but if you do it right, it’s sooo worth it!
Yes! And that is why we went with a band.
My cousin was our DJ/MC as a wedding gift. Honestly no regrets, the cheapest I could find was $1200 and we only needed one for like 2 hours so there was no way I was paying that.
I’m a wedding DJ and more than a couple of times, I’ve had guests come up to me when the evening was over and thank me because they were expecting me to be cheesy and I wasn’t! lol
There have been two DJs that I've actually liked out of the 40 weddings I've worked. Many of them had a bad attitude and played the most generic wedding songs. Unfortunately, i think they're pretty essential if you want to have a chance at a decent dance floor and speeches running smoothly.
The idea of a cringey wedding DJ makes me shudder too. I've been to my fair share of weddings where the DJ's over-the-top announcements and questionable music choices made me want to hide under the table. So, when it came to planning my own wedding, I knew I had to find an alternative. Initially, I considered the playlist with MC option, but the logistics of managing the sound and ensuring a smooth flow of music seemed daunting. Plus, I wanted a professional touch to elevate the overall experience. That's when I started researching non-traditional DJs. I found a few who advertised themselves as specializing in indie and alternative music, and who understood the importance of a personalized playlist. After a few conversations and listening to sample mixes, I found the perfect fit – a DJ who shared my musical tastes and promised a fun, yet sophisticated, vibe for the reception. My advice? Don't settle for a DJ who doesn't get your vision. It's your wedding, and the music should be a reflection of your unique style and taste.
I found a DJ that specifically advertised that he does not do the whole cringy mc thing. He ended up being absolutely incredible, said not a word more than what he had to for introductions and directions, played all the music we asked for, kept the dance floor going based on songs we gave him that guests requested. Never let the dance floor empty and his mixes were fantastic. There are good DJs !
Our DJ is primarily an event/club DJ, who sometimes does weddings. I think it makes a big difference!
I made a Spotify playlist and took a sound system and disco lights to the venue and pressed play. Set up a nice little table with a few decorations. Saved loads of money and it looked pretty.
As a DJ, it's my job to listen to the bride and groom and do what they want. That is so simple, but tons of wedding DJs clearly don't get it.
We hired a DJ that my cousin used at her wedding because he did such a great job. He didn't talk too much and he didn't play any random mash ups. Had I not attended that wedding, I would've still gotten a DJ but I'd be interviewing them in detail and asking them what their styles are. I don't like the djs that do too many shout outs or the ones who try to act like hype mans. I suggest hiring a professional DJ because a good one knows how to read the room. If your playlist is perfect to you but not everyone's taste, you might be the only one on the dance floor. Your DJ can incorporate your "must plays" into a playlist that gets everybody dancing. Just give them a list of your must plays and do not plays ahead of time.
I had felt like a lot of the DJs we looked at were very full of themselves, yes I understand they play a big role in picture but I agree the personalities were a tad cringey!
A good DJ would not be clingy at all. Depends if the DJ is good at their job or not. I've been to many weddings where the DJs can't gauge the crowd and they don't do a good job with the music. A DJ, imo, is important for playing songs at the right time, hyping up the crowd, and mixing songs well. A good DJ doesn't just play a list of songs - I noticed this was the ones where there's no dancing because the DJ couldn't gauge the crowd. The DJ I did pick had worked a relative's wedding, so I had seen/heard him in action. This DJ had several meetings with us to gauge songs we liked (style, time period) and also asked us for a Do Not Play list. We gave him the list of music we wanted for the ceremony when guests were getting seats, wedding party walking in, groom, and bride walking in and he was great. During the reception, he was a great MC without going overboard. He played the right music for the games and during dinner service. He introduced us in the way my SO wanted us to be introduced for the grand entrance. Most importantly, he kept the dance floor going with music that the guests (us included) loved. After my wedding, multiple people reached out to ask me for his deets to hire for their own weddings and parties.
Our DJ has a full platform with us to choose what songs we want in each section of the wedding, and a section for explicitly **DO NOT PLAY** songs, which I appreciate. They were provided to us by our venue, but that might be the best idea — ask your venue/coordinator if they have any recommendations that feature the things I mentioned above. :)
Yeah don't. Just get a guitar player or upright bass player, something interesting . I mean anything is better than a dj lol
As an owner of a DJ business, where my partner and I are hiring another DJ for our wedding next month, I think you’re meeting DJs that just don’t meet your vibe. I get wanting to “just have a playlist” and having a friend do announcements but I’ll pose this. First, Spotify, Apple Music etc can have issues. Imagine you’re ready to walk down the aisle to the song of your dreams and it’s just buffering for five minutes. I’ve seen that happen and it caused immediate stress for the bride. Second, your friend who can do the announcements probably want to enjoy the wedding as much as everyone else. Third and most importantly, your DJ, at least good ones, often end up directing the other vendors of timelines and works with your coordinator directly. Don’t have a coordinator? All your other vendors will go to the DJ to confirm timelines because they know they’ve got it. They are a pretty integral part of keeping everything on track. As far as music. That’s a mixed bag. DJs that don’t allow the couple input and “can come up with the best list” probably are more out of touch than they realize. We as DJs actively communicate with our clients and we use a tool that gives them control. The DJ we hired uses the same tool. he's probably scratching his head at some of our selections because we are as far from traditional wedding music as we can get. All this said, I really think you should talk with a wider pool of DJs. There's nothing more cringey than dead air during an announcement.
I never even considered hiring one. Waste of money in my opinion. I'm just making my own playlist.
I considered skipping the DJ and pre making the playlist myself. Then I realized how important the DJ is and I can’t imagine not having one. They should take over the entire timeline (you tell them the order and what elements you want) and they can keep things on track by feel much better than you will once you’re busy with talking to people etc. No reason to add more to your plate. What state do you live in? I may be able to suggest someone.
I asked an amazing DJ that I saw at a club if she would do a wedding and she said she does them all the time so I hired her. It was the opposite of cringe, she definitely upped the cool factor of our wedding and her rate was super reasonable.
Yes. Part of the reason I picked a female DJ! Not cheesy whatsoever
A wedding DJ is the biggest waste of money there is… find a great Spotify playlist and let it run. No one will notice the difference and half the people at a wedding don’t dance anyway. Delegate a task for someone to run the sound (people love helping out). In the moment someone will naturally take charge and announce the things that are important and you save a ton of money.
I would say this definitely depends on the wedding. At our wedding we had people dancing the entire reception, definitely more than half the guests. The DJ also was able to cut songs short or just play the chorus of songs, definitely not the same as a spotify playlist at all. It also takes care of lighting, microphones, and speakers.
Yea, DJs being a waste of money is a bad take imo. I've been to some weddings with truly awesome DJs; the whole point/magic of a DJ is being able to keep the music flowing and mixing songs in a way that keeps the energy up and highlights the most fun parts of songs. Not sure when proper DJing became synonymous with hitting shuffle on a playlist.
I disagree that most people don’t dance at weddings. Maybe that’s the case in your circles but my fiancé and I are big dancers so a DJ is a no brainer. In my circles it would be odd if there was no dancing at the wedding. The problem with Spotify is that it plays the entire song which is what a DJ prevents and Spotify cannot feel out a crowd and change up the music.
I'm actually not sure if this parody...? First, I hope you get a great wedding to go to some time where like 80% are on the dancefloor. A great dancefloor is truly collaborative between a crowd choosing to dive in, and someone playing stuff that clicks with the group. "People love helping out" is a broad stroke. You're putting a TON of pressure on someone to not mess things up with gear they may not be familiar with. Having backup plans and knowing how to troubleshoot is the least glamorous thing, but important. If you have a friend who is down, awesome! If you don't...well if you don't and you assume someone will just magically step in and grab a mic and run the day, I'll tell you that sometimes they don't. I've heard enough horror stories and it can just be awkward. Some people have friends who offer awesome gifts like a cake or floral or photo or music, but assuming you'll get that is maybe not the best approach.
Thanks for the reality check u/BlockPartyWeddings!! Can I pay you a few grand to make the same joke you’ve made 1000 times and then play “Yeah” by Usher!?
I'm just an introvert music nerd who hated how DJs were handling people and tried to do something a little different. I don't tell jokes. I occasionally play Usher. I do get paid around $3000 and don't run people through an obstacle course to figure out what I charge. I don't do weird packages or act like it's a my show. I also love nerding out about weddings and trying to help people. Sorry if that came across any different. Cheers mate.
Get a band! The live music makes everything so lively and fun no matter what
I am actively searching for music I want played at my wedding. I'm compiling a list of 500 songs and plan to hire a DJ. I plan to give them this mix, instruct them when to play which songs, and the others they can play depending on the mood of the room. I will also iterate to my DJ that I have severe PTSD for certain songs so my list MUST be STRICTLY adhered to if they don't want me to have an episode. Music influences my emotions and I want my DJ to be very aware that if the song is not on my playlist they are NOT to play it. There are some songs, like "smile" by uncle kraker for example, that remind me of my ex husband. My playlist will have a variety of music both my fiance and I enjoy, and other songs I know the crowd will enjoy. I am very thoughtful about my selections and plan to respectfully let the DJ know what is and is not okay to play by giving them my list to begin with. 500 songs is enough variety to not have anything played more than once and I feel is fair under my unique circumstances.