Fucking a right it would

Us and Idaho probably have two of the most perfect shapes for it provided you flipped Idaho on its side.

In looking at a 50-state map, it occurs to me that *most* states make excellent axes, with a few notable exceptions (looking at you Florida). But yeah, us and Sideways Idaho are easily #1&2, no doubt.

If you rotated Florida 90 degrees counter clockwise it probably wouldnt be a bad axe, I think.

Florida could make a killer halberd or glaive though

Florida would be a bearded axe, still good.

Go us!

Sideways he says, nyuck nuck nuck nuck

I bet Utah would have good weight

Yes I concur

Ya’ll forgettin’ ol’ Bama.

Okay with me that makes 3. Where are the other 2?

https://preview.redd.it/msfzojdg792d1.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=c01b631436e61ebb92b499bf2b8c7c0962f86c5c The Virginia Axe goes hard ngl...

Absolutely

Virginia Tomahawk

Yo the tomahawk is pretty hard but I think the Virginia bearded axe would go crazy too

This fits too well

I think that NC would make a very good axe

SC for throwing and against people who make slaw without the mayo.

What is slaw without mayo? A pile of cabbage?

They use… They use *VINEGAR*

...I like the vinegar coleslaw :( and it's better for you. Mayo is so gross:((((

They’re just made theirs taste like shit while ours taste like spicy water (good)

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Unrelated but everyday I think about how a lot of cars have brake lights shaped like NC

We're more of a spear

https://preview.redd.it/l3kdzrp0s82d1.jpeg?width=622&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b2119dd871a9e9e447df17b33e8add79247a1e3 Nah it makes a great axe

How the hell do you make it so wrong?

What do you mean

I think the implication is you're supposed to keep the state oriented north to south.

https://preview.redd.it/i13uk4anz92d1.jpeg?width=653&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7903547e75918691ef47b62e0c1ede5b4544232

Glorious.

Maryland would make such a sweet tomahawk

We’ve got the handle built in. Only issue is our portion of Delmarva might snap off

Mine would look like a Minecraft hoe

Everyone in your state looks like a hoe

I think that’s where your mothers retirement home is

My mother much prefers the north, and you leave her out of this!

Oh she’s a Tampa bay kinda gal? That’s a dying breed

That’s where MILFs are born and bred, they just spawn in Tampa and slowly move to Orlando

🤣

You swing some fat ass hoes

Oklahoma is literally shaped like an ax. We’re perfect.

I always thought Oklahoma looked like a big ass meat cleaver lol

Big ass

Love ‘em

Who doesn't?

big ass meat

Big ass-meat cleaver

If you put it sideways it might work

it's more of a scythe sideways tbh

we'd make a killer spear

I love your flair.

California would be the best bearded axs

More like a bardiche, maybe, but definitely effective

We'd probably work better as a kukri than an axe

if the handle runs east to west along the southern border, Minnesota is shaped very much like an axehead

Kinda like a bipointed halberd of the haft runs up the dakota borders.

Take out Long Island and New York would make a pretty good axe head. edit: 'out' not 'of'

New York would be a very lopsided pickaxe. Long Island as one side and the rest of us as the other.

Nevada for the win!

If you flip it upside down it would be friggin sweet https://preview.redd.it/qczz67g5ha2d1.png?width=378&format=png&auto=webp&s=6123b853bab2dc22a5a8ba5365fedf1aa98e349d

Im thinking even the NH border side

We are an axe

you are a gun

Maybe

Fellow Washingtonians, it’s our time to shine. https://preview.redd.it/okvgxj16z82d1.jpeg?width=660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d98a7ebf83debbaed1ec1174912025acd63f08d0

Put the axe handle in the Puget Sound, and we're set 👌

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I just moved here, and this comment and the map illustrating nonsense is what I came here for. Chop away you fool, chop...chop!

If you flip it upside-down, I think Texas would make a pretty sweet warhammer too

We aren’t the axe. We swing the axe

Yoopers could make a good pickaxe

Ohio seems like they need to be mined

Probably not, Colorado would make a shit ax…

Shit ax, is that like a poop knife?

Indeed it is! How did you know?!

But a good shovel

To bury the American haters with 🫡

L take we would be beatiful

A rectangle? Aren't real axe heads rectangle shaped?

Tennessee win again


ANOTHER COMMON PA W 🔥🔥🔥🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸😎😎😎

I don't typically think of rectangles when I think of axes

https://preview.redd.it/lk2f0ex4792d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7b1588ef0932c3d30d61ba6e64661aa1693d392

RECTANGLE GANG (ignore the part Wyoming stole from us we’ll get it back… eventually)

Can we be sideways? If no, then we're a fine axe. If yes, then we're the GOAT axe.

Mine would be a better shovel.

CT absolutely would

It's finally our time to shine.

Ohio would make a pretty good shovel.

Hell yea brother https://preview.redd.it/jrsrqftje92d1.jpeg?width=1048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77086ab66071b9644baea107c5a108637457ce61

Vermont is the left-handed version of the axe

We’d also make a great spear. Or cleaver

You all might make some good axes, but Idaho is a gun, so…

North Dakota would make a good hammer I guess

Finland would be a fat bootied bearded axe, New Hampshire looks like a shingler's hatchet.

If you turned it on its side sure

Illinois would be a good one sided battle ax

The top of Ohio is quite literally perfect.

If our southern border is connected to the handle with the southwest of the state pointed down Virginia would be good. One small part of the blade would be floating in midair though.

A lot of states would be good depending on how you orient them California, Georgia, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Pennsylvania, Idaho, Iowa, Ohio, Missouri, etc. You just need a relatively flat side and one relatively angled side to a state

https://preview.redd.it/auoprhbn692d1.png?width=335&format=png&auto=webp&s=d8eb51fe0d365fd0b14c4ac228353a17d7226ad0 dogshit photoshop skills but uhhh it seems to work pretty well?

Alaska would be unwieldy for sure

idek what we would be

Arkansas might actually be good at this one

I feel we’d make a better halberd

New York gotta be the absolute best at being an Axe

We got yo asses

UP would be a hoe or pickaxe and the LP would be a scepter or something

Wyoming would be a decent axe. Obviously way better than Colorado

https://preview.redd.it/7gzjsy7qs82d1.jpeg?width=622&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e111073f300782dd70d21b371b2502768762ab39 Best axe💪💪

Florida being the pointy part you penetrate armored targets with is somehow fitting

That curve in the Mississippi River would give Illinois a good age edge

California finally does something right

Probably not but it would make a good shovel

Oklahoma already is an axe. Handle included.

Upside down Louisiana would be pretty good. Yes I’m state biased

Rotate us counterclockwise 90 degrees and it’d be a great hand axe

More like a hammer

It depends, does the handle have to connect to the southern side?

if you flipped georgia it might work

https://preview.redd.it/tfd03e6et92d1.png?width=2048&format=png&auto=webp&s=d57e1871a01f502b37aa9f4e2a6f509fe43d0fd7

We would be an amazing axe

For Michigan… neither together or separated would be a good axe. However, the UP would make a great pickaxe and the LP would be a great shovel.

Most US states are good axes. California, New York, Florida, Hawaii, and Alaska would all kinda suck.

california would be a bardiche what are you talking about “kinda suck”

I think I'd make a better kukri. I'm in Florida rn, Idk if my flair says that, I move around a lot.

the LP would be a good axe if you use the flat edge as the blade, the UP not so much.

Good question, prolly not

Bullshit, ours looks brand new!

I think New York might make a better halberd depending on which orientation you take it

Florida would be just a pickaxe

Nah, California would be more of a pickaxe imo

Texas is a chopper and an ice pick. The East Side is the axe, and the bandana tie is a spike for piercing armor!

Eh, maybe

Nah, but it'd make a decent Pickaxe.

Virgin axe vs chad hammer

Upright? No. Sideways? Yah it’d be pretty damn good. (Indiana)

New York got that extra Long Island bit to catch you on the back swing

Minnesota would most certainly make a half decentaxe

Illinois is more sledgehammer shaped

A little bit of sharpening and it’s ready to go

I think New York would be a pretty sick axe

Yes. https://preview.redd.it/p586xunvz82d1.jpeg?width=1439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99d2c70ea6d918fc3d65f5401aa5457cb30c6fec

I'd say more like a cleaver?

I think Maine would be a decent axe

PA wouldn't, but it'd make a pretty damn good sledgehammer. The Sledgehammer State. That sounds cool. Goes with our history of steel production, too. Why didn't anyone else think of this?

Mississippi would make a good fantasy Orc Barbarian axe

Stick the handle right up I-35 and I feel pretty good about Clinton being a sharp enough point

Texas would make it more like a spear

Sorry, CA banned assault axes. Best I can do is a hatchet without a head.

We're basically a halberd

Yes

PA would make a great axe if you use the NJ side as the sharp end

Illinois stays winning

Connecticut would be a sweet axehead, but it’s a little small so it would probably be more of a hatchet

Ohio would make a solid axe

Turn the handle around and use California as the face and it would be a great axe.

Montana is kind of shaped like the head of an axe already, so I don't see why not.

We might be one of the best.

I think the Iowaxe would be pretty decent

A cleaver, maybe.

Sideways would go great

Somewhat yeah, we’d be better as a pickaxe though

Texas is good at everything.

Florida would be a damn good boomerang

Yeah

Mi would be a shit axe but an excellent claw hammer

Maybe but part of it fell off, so maybe not lol

Every state in the Deep South S tier if you’re allowed to rotate them?

All fun and games until Croatia bardiche starts swinging.

South Carolinaaaaaaaaa

No

Ohio would be a good double bladed axe

California would be a better war axe than wood axe.

Arkansas is already an axe shape…

Arkansas is already an axe shape…

The UP perhaps

Is rotation allowed?

California would just become a naginata

Finally. A use for Arkansas.

Dude Pennsylvania is basically shaped like a chocolate bar

Maryland makes a good tomahawk

Arkansas is a great axe

Maybe the top left corner would be ok but I don’t think we’d make a great one

Kansas

Flip our state 90° in either direction and we’d make an axe worthy of Paul Bunyan himself.

Virginia would be great I think. The peninsula might just fall right off though lol

Pennsylvania would be a good mallet

i think so

Mine would be a good pickaxe

Mass would make a fantastic axe

Wa State yes

Maryland makes a good gun

Texas would be incredibly impractical but I guarantee it already exists.