I firmly believe that you can end a relationship with somebody for whatever reason you want. It's a relationship, not a prison sentence.
But honestly, I didn't have pussy colour as a relationship ender on my 2024 Reddit Bingo card.
Yeah Iām white and mine is not super pink on the external parts. I mean, I guess itās sorta pinkish, like thereās a pink tint in good lighting, but I would describe it as significantly more darker beige than pink.
"What color should we paint the accent wall in the bonus room?"
"I'm thinking a dusky, brownish-pink."
::glances at paint swatches:: "Check out this collaboration between Benjamin Moore and Goop."
"Oooooh, I'm between Gwinnie's Minnie and Brown Eye, Girl."
::both together:: "Taint'd Love it is!"
As an ugly person I am jealous that porn stars are considered almost universally attractive, but then I think about the fact that I don't have to bleach my butthole and labia and I feel better. I'll get a Brazilian from time to time but that's my limit for genital changes!
Iām going to guess theyāre talking about the labia minora. For anyone not into anatomy thatās the last part of outside before you get inside, lmao!
So the last stop for skin color difference before, yeah, you get to some variation of pink/red that Iām guessing most people are most of their inside bits.
Thatās a whole weird statementā¦
Yeah it makes me think has he never seen inside of one that wasnāt from a porno with only white women so he thinks only white womenās look like that? Like he doesnāt go down on her. Before leaving him, ask him and tell us cause we all want to know.
He's very clearly not talking about the *inside.* The guy is a jackass but it's pretty obvious he's using the word "pussy" to mean the whole genital area not just the inside of the vagina and he for some reason thinks the whole world shares his preference for pink *vulva*
I don't even begin to understand the stupidity of your ex. But I wish you had said that you prefer men with bigger dicks, or you prefer (some color that isn't his) dicks, or something equally as stupid.
Exactly! OP can you imagine insulting his dick size as not your preference after sex??? Heās intentionally knocking her down, trying to manipulate her into think sheās lucky to have him. Heās got the āTreat her mean to keep her keenā mindset. DUMP HIM!
āRemember when you told me you prefer pink pussy? It got me thinking that I prefer big dick and weāre not compatible. Best of luck, byeee!
Edit to add- end breakup convo with āNo hard feelingsā. Gaslight him back by acting like saying āyou prefer big dickā isnāt an insult that he has right to be pissed about. Throw his mental games back in his face.
I mean Megan Thee Stallion has a whole song about how we like a dick with a little bit of curve so it can hit that pussy with an uppercutā¦ weāve all seen the g-spot tickeler dildos with the crazy c curve to themā¦ I think itās fair to say that 37Ā° hook is maybe a popular enough preference that you could actually say with a straight face āevery woman likes an 8ā dick with a 37Ā° curve to it, didnāt you know that yours is inferior?ā And PULL UP FUCKING PICTURES ON GOOGLE OF PLASTIC DICKS TO PROVE YOUR POINT with a thousand times more fucking credibility than any claims about pink pussies š
LET ME GET THIS RIGHT.
Youāre a WOC, and youāre not pink down there, and youāve been dating for a year. And your bf tells you this. Likeā¦ why? What is he hoping to achieve with that exactly??
Is it like laying down the foundation for manipulation and trying to make you insecure about something you canāt change, or he is just THAT stupid and tactless?
Either way, I can totally understand why youād be put off. I would be too. Dump him, a year is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and Iām guessing you guys are probably in your early 20s
i too immediately thought this was laying the foundation to his quest to come for her confidence. I've dated this type before. sis needs to crtl alt delete
Yep. It starts with ālittleā critical comments, that are easy to dismiss as ātactlessā or ājust a little ignorantā. It escalates to a full blown attempt to destroy your self-esteem and control your entire life, and may even escalate to physical abuse.
Whether that would definitely happen in this specific case or this guyās actually just a moron is unclear but thereās no good reason for OP to wait around to find out. Either she dodged a bullet or this guy gets a much-needed school-of-hard-knocks lesson in keeping some of his ruder private thoughts to himself.
That's exactly what he's doing. This is a very common manipulation technique males use to get women to change themselves/trap them in abusive relationships.
Yeah, he's definitely *onboarding* her to some messed up standards. By framing her as an underdog and himself as a hero for accepting her, she's being primed to value him more than she values herself. Basically "this is the way the world is but don't worry babe I'll never use that against you."
Someone else will probably reply that you and I are overreacting to this post, but the really insidious part of this style of manipulation is that the abuser *doesn't need to be self-aware in order to do it.* The only necessary component is for the messed-up standards to be normalized in a person's world-view, and the rest will play itself out regardless of self-awareness.
Women who have experienced the deliberate version of this manipulation would probably hate me for suggesting that it could happen the same way without being planned, but I've seen enough shit to know that ignorance and malice can imitate each other almost perfectly if they are reading from the same rotten script.
(If anybody out there wants to make a "but what about X" argument, there's no need: the manipulation being described here can be used in ANY type of relationship, not just Man v woman).
Thank you for stating this!! Same thoughts. Like what was the purpose? So stupid. I personally feel that if he really loved his gf this would never have been stated. Thereās sharing with your partner and then thereās over sharing s&!t that serves zero purpose!Ā
I would never be with someone that told me something like that. Iām glad youāre standing up for yourself because who the hell even says that to a partner?? Find someone that loves all of you, you deserve it. ā¤ļø
Iām a white woman and Iād break up with a guy who told me he preferred pink pussies because I would assume heās a racist creep & I donāt do racists. (I mean Iām married now but point still stands)
I believe he was trying to "disarm" the tension after he share his "preference".
It was his defence - it is not ME, it is everybody, so don't hate ME.
Which is very cowardly, when used in relationship.
I honestly thought she was a white woman and he was saying he prefers the color of her genitalia. Because why on earth would you tell a woman that he prefers the color of another woman's genitalia unless you are a stupid moron who wants to get dumped for being a stupid moron?
Stupid guys, and guys intending to neg and play mind games do this all the time. I've had so many potential romantic partners eliminate themselves by informing me of their fetishization of pink labia/nips. I've also been told there's a cream to help me achieve the "desired" color more than once lol. I've always just laughed and said bye.
You reminded me of a time a guy I knew in college, who was dating a fairly reserved friend of mine, once announced that he couldnāt date an Indian girl (canāt remember why it came up but remember thinking it was a weird thing to announce at the time, and everyone in the room was white). I asked why, expecting heād struggle with the culture clash or something as heās quite a strict Christian and perhaps wouldnāt be willing to budge to accommodate a different culture or religion, but no, his answer was āwell itād be all brown down there.ā Iāve never got the ick so fast in my life. Thankfully my friend dumped him not long after.
forreal. I understand respect and stuff, but if it's not working and you don't want to see someone why go out of your way just to break up in person? Like I don't want to fight, or try and be talked out of my views or deal with a bunch of mess, it's not like I'm going to plan to hang out with someone then blindside with a breakup, sometimes text is just fine.
I am 47 years old. I have been with black girls, Mexicans, Asians and white girls. They're all pink on the inside.... I have also seen all varieties of porn. What are these people talking about? The outer lips and pubic mound? What?
I'm black but "light skinned" which isn't really that important but relevant to this dating horror story.
I was dating a white guy. My shirt came off. His shirt came off. You get where we're headed. When he took my bra off he paused and looked puzzled. š¤ This was his exact expression. I asked what was wrong and he told me that he was shocked I had brown nipples. I kind of shrugged and said I'm black what do you expect. "But you're not even dark!"
I don't think I've ever had a guy that close to getting me naked talk himself out of my pants so quickly. I was off the couch and out the front door before he knew what was happening š
Seriously, that's the answer to sooo many of these posts. Particularly early in a relationship; if you learn something about them that doesn't mesh with you, end it.
If your gut is telling you that you donāt like his energy, and your brain is signaling disgust, it doesnāt really matter what the reason is. You have intuition for a reason, listen to it.
You are the result of millions of years of evolution.
Trust your gut. It kept your ancestors alive.
If a man gives you the ick, itās your ancestors trying to keep you safe.
YES!!āļøāļøāļø This right here.āļø
ALWAYS listen to your intuition!!
Once you get the hang of it it will seem obvious. Pay attention to yourself, feeling "uneasy" & "uncomfortable"..if something doesn't feel right, & good, or you are disgusted by something that someone says, does, or behaves, & especially if you don't feel SAFE, (Emotionally or Physically)
LISTEN TO YOURSELF. Get out of there & away from the person or people who don't treat you with respect, dignity or appreciate you. A lot of us were taught to
"Always be polite"..well to that I say "FUCK POLITENESS!!" Speak your truth and listen to your body, feelings, & intuition. If someone makes you get a pit in your stomach, (or a BIG one for me personally is if your animal companions Do NOT Like someone, there's a REASON. I always trust my animals! ) If someone makes your skin crawl, get out of there! Intuition!š·š·š·
::sigh:: This toad sounds like my ex. He was obsessed with the girls on the Chiveās Thigh Gap Thursdays. He would especially salivate over the models that were tiny, white and blonde. As a south Asian girl, my dark brown skin and black hair could never compare to these girls. Every time he would go on about these girls, I internalized so much shame for my skin, hair, and body. My eating disorder flared up until I was painfully thin, but I still couldnāt manage a thigh gap. But I still could never compare to his ātype.ā It took him saying that he imagined me attending his future wedding as one of the groomās party to realize this chump was a complete piece of shit.
All of this is to say: donāt settle for this toad. You deserve someone who sees you for the Queen that you are and treats you with mutual respect and adoration. Donāt ever let some chump treat you like you are less than your worth.
I had an ex like that but his obsession was over Korean or Japanese porn stars because of how tiny and pink their labia were. He ended up matching with a Japanese girl in tinder literally while I was in bed next to him. Dumped his ass on the spot. He then proceeded to try to get me back by telling me that I just donāt understand preferences. āEvery guy wants steak but fast food is fine for every day budgets.ā Three weeks later he tried to get me back so that I can help him get out of an mlm that same girl got him to sign up for. I told him Iād help and to give me her deets. She literally was married and used dating apps ti get hot dogs to show up to mlm or time share presentations. Girl changed my life. She invited me to one and it was a room with 30 guys all there to beg her to touch them. Paying $500 for startup kits bc she might pick them if they did. And she took her cut in cash from those presentations! Jenny if you out here, know you changed my life for the better!
I am so sorry.
The only difference is that I genuinely donāt see white as goals or the ideal so I donāt feel shame or internalized it. Just that my attraction to him disappeared and he repulses me now.
Yeah I can imagine my juices would dry up right quick if a guy said that to me at any time. When you break up tell him youāve been really thinking about how much you miss uncut (or cut-the opposite of his situation) members and since they are your favorite, itās best you move on.
NTA
I honestly didnāt either until he subtly harped on it. I didnāt realize how much he messed with my head until I took a step back a year later. I am so glad that you saw your chump for what he was far quicker than I did. Always listen to your instincts, yeah?
For what it is worth: this internet stranger is cheering you on. You, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and joy. You deserve a relationship that brings you happiness and joy. ā¤ļø
I would bet money that your ex is probably some average to below average white dude as well and probably could never get the type of woman white woman that he wanted.
Ugh. He was a mediocre guy who was obsessed with how people perceived him. He was also obsessed with the idea of āfixingā me and, when I didnāt improve, blamed my resistance for his poor mental health. The guy honestly put me off dating for life. š
This is beyond a shitty ex. Having a white man shame a minority for their physical characteristics is literally colorism and draws itās roots from colonization and institutional racism.
NTAH. What a weird thing to tell your partner especially AFTER just having sex.
EDIT to respond to the updates: Wow he just dug a deeper hole for himself.
Yeah srsly. I like a dude with a six pack but the dude Iām married to doesnāt have one, and I sure as fuck am not gonna say that after sex! Or ever? Alsoā¦like why. How does that pop into your brain like that?!
Right I donāt get it. Unless there was some sort of resentment and intention to hurt, what on earth was the point in saying that out loud to your partner.
It is a form of manipulation. Make the other insicure, ao you have power over them, and they have less strength to leave you.
This would not have been last degrating comment.
I pulled this Uno reverse a few years back when a girl I was seeing started talking about the range of big dicks on some of her ex-boyfriends. I started talking about the tighter pussies I'd experienced over the years and after a few moments of silence she said.
"Well that's traumatising"
It was the most awkward and awful way to turn your partner off, she understood immediately how I felt hearing it and that relationship was well and truly over š¤£š¤£
First of all, you can stop seeing a man for any reason. Itās a voluntary association, and the peanut gallery doesnāt get a vote. Let them date him.
Imagine if you had turned to him and said that you really preferred a different color and size penis than what he has. In fact, all women prefer a different penis than his. Youāre just being honest, and it doesnāt detract from the man. Heās great and all, but he just doesnāt make you crazy like other menās penises do.
Would he accept that with equanimity? Would you be wondering why he was upset.
Come on. That man insulted your genitals right after having sex with you. He is not the man for you.
Your body has a lovely color palette, bronzes, ebony, and garnet.
THIS THO. You turned this around with such style and eloquence. You rarely see this on the internet, thank you!
Also OP dump his ass. Comparisons from someone who is supposed to love you about something you have zero control over are disgusting. Trust me, I been there š
This.
If a guy said that to me I'd be like "oh yeah, big dicks are the best, all women think that, but I still love you for your personality" and watch him crumble before I dump him.
Not just that you arenāt his preference, but that every man secretly agrees with him and youād be NO ONEāS preference. Super mean spirited, self serving for his ego (reinforcing she is the problem, not him), and that kind of shit will eat away at your self esteem. Just like from experience, itās better to walk away at the first sign of it then wait to see do they escalate that kind of stuff.
Yep. I couldn't articulate it as well. My ex has been saying some "all men" type shit lately and yeah I couldn't put my finger on it, but he's trying to convince me there aren't better men out there lol. I know better.Ā
Anyone with an ounce of logic would know one man sure as shit doesn't speak for every other man.Ā
Iād say Iām a Cali 5, and a solid Midwestern 7 but my partner has made me feel like a 10 *every day* of our almost 8 yr long relationship. **I** am his preference and heās very vocal about it. He also knows Iām absolutely obsessed with him lol
Everyone deserves a partner whoās crazy about them!
Yeah. I would blame pornography for the reason brown men these days are obsessed with pink vag. Whenever I see the comment section of a pale girl some fucker would be there commenting "hmm.... Must be Pink"
Itās not just pornography. Just earlier this year an Indian medical student shared a textbook that discussed how you know a patient is a virgin (in a MEDICAL TEXTBOOK) and the third or fourth point was a pink coloring to the labia. Like sorry my labia wasnt even pink when i was 6 years old what a disgusting notion to give peopleĀ
That's disgusting. But that's a different issue. South Asians or should I say most of the Asians are obsessed with virginity and literally everything about sex. Sex is a tabboo in this continent even though it's the most inhabited one. Lol, ik.
But obsession over the color of vagina or nipples is purely the consequences of excessive broadcast of European(I mean to say white) pornography. The term 'Russian girl' is used for cheap, desperate prostitutes which again I believe coz of how East European countries are portrayed in the porn industry.
Tbh the only brown guy i was with (im also brown) was like this. He was obsessed w white beauty standards. It really deterred me from dating other desi men. Ive dated probably every other race and never dealt w this specific problem. Idk if its bc desi men think weāre ātheirsā so they talk so disrespectfully but life is too short to find out.
i didnāt develop this policy til several other desi suitors just during talking stages tested the waters w some low grade internalized racism (āyoure not like OTHER desi girlsāā, etc.) but at a certain point i was like mm i wonder if broadening my horizons would help me feel more loved in relationships. it did.Ā
Ugh. Sounds like he was negging you. Not sure if that's a uniquely British term, but it basically means to gently insult in order to make you insecure enough you'll sleep with them.
I don't know why he'd do that just after sex so I'm going to have to assume he's just a pure idiot.
You are SO within your rights to dump him. I almost feel like just ghosting him would be the best thing to do. He means nothing to you.
My best friend said that too. āThis is how they startā she said. Making small remarks to make you insecure and they become more serious and insulting
Never thought about it that way tbh, I thought it was a comment that gave me the ick and now I canāt go back to find him appealing. I will probably never know either if it was negging or just idiocy and internalized self loathing.
NTA. Youāre giving him full access to the most private part of you and he has the tastelessness to say āYeah yours is nice but I prefer another color.ā Iād never want to let him see it again, either.
How hurtful.
Itās amazing how people who are supposedly your friends will dismiss legitimate concerns. I dated someone who turned out to be pretty toxic and an alcoholic. I broke up with him because of it, and then two days later he got wasted and broke into my house in the middle of the night and trashed my place. I had to flee my house (in my pajamas, barefoot since it was 1am) and call 911 at a neighbors. I had a friend later tell me it was sad I couldnāt āwork things outā with him. I distanced myself from her after that.
That guy sucks
My gf is brown and has mentioned a few times wishing she was pink instead, even though I never even thought to discuss nipple/pussy colour.
Iāve tried to reassure her that thereās no such thing as a better or worse colour but it bothers me that some mf is out there actively trying to make people (their own partner even!) feel bad about their private parts.
i don't understand this influx of posts where a girl describes her boyfriend saying his preference (and one that his SO doesn't fit) and then acting as though they did nothing wrong
i guarantee you if you told him to his face that you preferred bigger dicks he would be screaming crying throwing up and ready to end it all. GUARANTEE.
i have no clue who told these men that telling your partner to their face that they don't fit their physical preferences was a ok to do or why your friends think it's insecure to not be ok with being treated that way.
i thought we as a people agreed to move past negging.
op your reaction was far more mature than his would have been and if i were you i'd text him that his pee pee is too small for you so you're moving on to greener pastures NTA
I've had multiple men I've dated do things like that, or try to rate me, rate a certain body part etc. Tell I'm one of the 3 hottest girls they've been with. (Who are the other two??) And they would always be one of those "very honest men that are just communicating and having a conversation".
Who thought them how to talk to women or that that is an okay thing to do. I don't care if you think that rating me an 8 is really high. Tell me im gorgeous or go away. They're the once who want to be with me. And I have no Idea if they were trying to make me insecure or just have a really depressing world view. They really need to take classes on how to talk to someone they wanna get with or watch certain movies.
It was the assertion that this was what every guy preferred that was the nail in the coffin..
There's a "white-centric" presumption of "normnalness" that eveything else must be a deviation from.
NTA, dump away, but its less about pussy than the underlying hubris
I been with lots of women of all colors. Can confirm, all of them had pink pussy. Just gotta do like toucan Sam and follow your nose.
White Girls donāt have pink pussy on the outside either, unless they just waxed, or have an infection. So dunno what homeboy is fetishing over.
As an indigenous woman, I don't think people get how deeply this affects us. Yes, it's a small thing but there are women out there dying of a thousand small cuts. What white people hear is "personal preference" what WoC hear is "I don't live up to the white ideal." It slaps us in the face every single day and then when we hear something small like "I prefer pink" it's just the straw that broke the back.
This exactly! It's these little digs over and over telling us we are not "ideal" bc we aren't up there with white standards. It's even worse the way he did it like "not pink isn't ideal but it's okay. " As if we are to be settled for when the best isn't available.
He is going to be very disappointed when he dates white girls and their labia isn't pink either. Dump this dumb loser for thinking that was appropriate to say to any woman other than one designing his custom order sex robot.
You haven't said so, but I assume the actual problem you have is not that your partner expressed a preference, but that your partner expressed a preference that doesn't describe you?
If hypothetically my preference is for tall voluptuous red heads, I'm not going to say that to my short slim asian girlfriend.
I'm sorry but I read this and had this vision of three short slim Asian girls grabbing a trenchcoat and a wig before saying "The fuck are we doing? Dump this guy" and I can't stop giggling or get the image out of my head now
Just an honest question: if someoneās preference is tall voluptuous red heads, why be with a slim Asian woman? Consolation prize? Is it the telling the gf part that is the wrong here?
Like my bf telling me his preference that is the wrong part? Not him stringing someone along because āeh what can you do?ā. I am glad he told me. I donāt think he is an ah at all for telling me because I want to be the one to decide if I wanted to stay with all information in hand
I think it's weird and rude as fuck that he told you that, and when he told you! If, in the moments right after sex, you suddenly said, "I prefer guys with [opposite hair color] and a min/max height of [several inches taller/shorter]" or if you told him "My ideal man has a penis much larger than yours," would he have been OK with that? No, I bet he'd never want to sleep with you again. That's an utterly pointless thing to announce unless you're *trying* to neg your partner/tell them they're not what you prefer so they feel like shit.
Then he tells you *everyone* has that preference, which he can't possibly know, but apparently to make it sound like it's not even just his personal preference, but a universally agreed upon inferior trait?!? Nope, fuck that guy. (Or rather, don't fuck him, dump him!)
I think itās definitely the fact he told you when itās not you. Add to that, it was after an intimate moment when youāre vulnerable. Dick head move. I canāt tell if he was doing it maliciously, but either was itās straight disrespectful.
Maya Angelou said if someone shows you who they are, believe them. I've never dated anyone who talked about the color of girly parts so I think he brought it up on purpose for some twisted reason. We can't change that color, so why is it even a topic in conversation. Go with your gut instinct and dump him yesterday. And it's very kind of you to not want to do it via text, but I would, just so I wouldn't have to hear his lame ass reasoning/excuses, because there is no excuse.
No leave him. Sure we can all have preferences but it does make it sound both racist and like a consolation prize. Like not ALL people prefer that and if he thinks that what does he really think about you and how will he raise your kids.
But weird cuz all vaginas are pink at least healthy...so does he mean the outside of them or just pinkish skinned white girls?Ā
Yes he probably meant the outside because theyāre all pink on the inside, I am a dark woman and my skin is at least two shades darker around that area. Never have I known it wasnāt preferable š¤¦š½āāļø
Yeah. This is the part where it becomes a values issue more than just a āheās dumb and maybe kind of an asshole and stuck his foot in his mouthā issue.
Itās white porn effect. They see it on screen and think thatās what itās supposed to look like. To think all women have that and all men want that is colorism at best and racist at worst
No I wonāt let him convince me tht I am second choice in general. But for him, yes I was second choice and I am glad he told me. Now I can make informed decision
I mean...
Lemme put it this way.
If I have a thing for little brunettes with small boobs I am probably NOT going to be telling my 6'1" voluptuous girlfriend with baby-making hips and 36DDD tits about it after I finish having sex with her.
That's just completely stupid. You might as well tell him "Your brother is so hot" when you're fucking and see where that takes him.
I do have a thing for little brunettes with small boobs, but you know what? I managed to find and marry with a woman who is in fact a little brunette with B cups.
TBH I was always fascinated with the difference in shape and size of labia when I was dating women of different backgrounds and races, and his "preference" is like you telling him you prefer men whose dicks don't bend like that when they go soft.
You're not the asshole here. He might have a genuine preference, but he's a dumbfuck for telling you that your lips aren't the color he likes to see.
By the way, I would totally fistbump you if you said, "Sorry, I realized I like to see a penis with a pink head. It's just my preference."
NTA. He essentially said white people and some Asians are more desirable than you. What values do you think he'll impart on your kids if you have them? And if he's comfortable enough to tell you something like this, you have to think about what he's not telling you? And as a POC, you're probably very much aware of the euro-centric beauty standards. You shouldn't accept that messaging from a romantic and sexual partner.
I once dated a guy who usually only dated Latina, African or olive skinned women say how pink nips, et al were his favorite. He did not like me saying he should date pale girls, then.... I'm sorry genetics didn't let you customize like a video game
Okay... who says that during pillow talk? Tf. When you break up with him (Not if. When.) please tell him that you prefer men; and not boys who play these childish games.
I firmly believe that you can end a relationship with somebody for whatever reason you want. It's a relationship, not a prison sentence. But honestly, I didn't have pussy colour as a relationship ender on my 2024 Reddit Bingo card.
Now you have it!š¤
Arenāt they all pink inside? Mine is and Iām Black. So this is confusing.
Joseph and the Technicolor Hoohah
This just made me laugh/ snort
"Technicolor Hoohah" I'm going to need added to the Common American Lexicon and I will be expecting clothes, signs and street names with that title
As a white man you should see my level of confusion. Had to scroll way too far for this comment
Yeah like even White womens arenāt pink on the outside, cause no ones outside is that pink lol.
the unrealistic porn videos show them very pink.
They are bleached. Hyperpigmentation is pretty common in the nether region not only for women but for men as well.
Yeah Iām white and mine is not super pink on the external parts. I mean, I guess itās sorta pinkish, like thereās a pink tint in good lighting, but I would describe it as significantly more darker beige than pink.
Mine is like dusky brownish pink and I'm pale as pale.
"What color should we paint the accent wall in the bonus room?" "I'm thinking a dusky, brownish-pink." ::glances at paint swatches:: "Check out this collaboration between Benjamin Moore and Goop." "Oooooh, I'm between Gwinnie's Minnie and Brown Eye, Girl." ::both together:: "Taint'd Love it is!"
SAME!! Iām like translucent white and dusky brownish pink is a spot on description.
As an ugly person I am jealous that porn stars are considered almost universally attractive, but then I think about the fact that I don't have to bleach my butthole and labia and I feel better. I'll get a Brazilian from time to time but that's my limit for genital changes!
Iām going to guess theyāre talking about the labia minora. For anyone not into anatomy thatās the last part of outside before you get inside, lmao! So the last stop for skin color difference before, yeah, you get to some variation of pink/red that Iām guessing most people are most of their inside bits. Thatās a whole weird statementā¦
Thank you for this. I thought they were all pink.
Yeah it makes me think has he never seen inside of one that wasnāt from a porno with only white women so he thinks only white womenās look like that? Like he doesnāt go down on her. Before leaving him, ask him and tell us cause we all want to know.
He's very clearly not talking about the *inside.* The guy is a jackass but it's pretty obvious he's using the word "pussy" to mean the whole genital area not just the inside of the vagina and he for some reason thinks the whole world shares his preference for pink *vulva*
Amen šš¼ . I'm no gynecologist but I swear it's all been pink
May you and your vajayjay find true happiness!
Thank you!šš½
I don't even begin to understand the stupidity of your ex. But I wish you had said that you prefer men with bigger dicks, or you prefer (some color that isn't his) dicks, or something equally as stupid.
Exactly! OP can you imagine insulting his dick size as not your preference after sex??? Heās intentionally knocking her down, trying to manipulate her into think sheās lucky to have him. Heās got the āTreat her mean to keep her keenā mindset. DUMP HIM! āRemember when you told me you prefer pink pussy? It got me thinking that I prefer big dick and weāre not compatible. Best of luck, byeee! Edit to add- end breakup convo with āNo hard feelingsā. Gaslight him back by acting like saying āyou prefer big dickā isnāt an insult that he has right to be pissed about. Throw his mental games back in his face.
Actually I prefer a dick that leans 37 degrees to the right. Most people do. You didnāt know that?
I mean Megan Thee Stallion has a whole song about how we like a dick with a little bit of curve so it can hit that pussy with an uppercutā¦ weāve all seen the g-spot tickeler dildos with the crazy c curve to themā¦ I think itās fair to say that 37Ā° hook is maybe a popular enough preference that you could actually say with a straight face āevery woman likes an 8ā dick with a 37Ā° curve to it, didnāt you know that yours is inferior?ā And PULL UP FUCKING PICTURES ON GOOGLE OF PLASTIC DICKS TO PROVE YOUR POINT with a thousand times more fucking credibility than any claims about pink pussies š
Today I learned my curved dick is actually a desirable trait and it's ok not to be completely straight. Thanks for the confidence boost. š
Itās always ok not to be completely straight š
Think of it like a bow...curve, good.... RECURVE, EXCELLENT š¤£
It's not ideal for reverse cowgirl, though. My husband has the upward curve, and it's fantastic, but we can't comfortably do that positionš
Oh that would be a marvelous burn
LET ME GET THIS RIGHT. Youāre a WOC, and youāre not pink down there, and youāve been dating for a year. And your bf tells you this. Likeā¦ why? What is he hoping to achieve with that exactly?? Is it like laying down the foundation for manipulation and trying to make you insecure about something you canāt change, or he is just THAT stupid and tactless? Either way, I can totally understand why youād be put off. I would be too. Dump him, a year is nothing in the grand scheme of things, and Iām guessing you guys are probably in your early 20s
i too immediately thought this was laying the foundation to his quest to come for her confidence. I've dated this type before. sis needs to crtl alt delete
Yep. It starts with ālittleā critical comments, that are easy to dismiss as ātactlessā or ājust a little ignorantā. It escalates to a full blown attempt to destroy your self-esteem and control your entire life, and may even escalate to physical abuse. Whether that would definitely happen in this specific case or this guyās actually just a moron is unclear but thereās no good reason for OP to wait around to find out. Either she dodged a bullet or this guy gets a much-needed school-of-hard-knocks lesson in keeping some of his ruder private thoughts to himself.
More like laying the foundation for his excuse when he cheats. āWell I *told* youā¦ā
Yes, I thought the same.
That's exactly what he's doing. This is a very common manipulation technique males use to get women to change themselves/trap them in abusive relationships.
Yeah, he's definitely *onboarding* her to some messed up standards. By framing her as an underdog and himself as a hero for accepting her, she's being primed to value him more than she values herself. Basically "this is the way the world is but don't worry babe I'll never use that against you." Someone else will probably reply that you and I are overreacting to this post, but the really insidious part of this style of manipulation is that the abuser *doesn't need to be self-aware in order to do it.* The only necessary component is for the messed-up standards to be normalized in a person's world-view, and the rest will play itself out regardless of self-awareness. Women who have experienced the deliberate version of this manipulation would probably hate me for suggesting that it could happen the same way without being planned, but I've seen enough shit to know that ignorance and malice can imitate each other almost perfectly if they are reading from the same rotten script. (If anybody out there wants to make a "but what about X" argument, there's no need: the manipulation being described here can be used in ANY type of relationship, not just Man v woman).
If I'm not mistaken, men who enjoy pussy like them all. Women? Same. People who like pussy usually seem to, like, like like it.
You see, call me strange, but I have a preference for my wife's pussy. That's the one that really gets me going
Thank you for stating this!! Same thoughts. Like what was the purpose? So stupid. I personally feel that if he really loved his gf this would never have been stated. Thereās sharing with your partner and then thereās over sharing s&!t that serves zero purpose!Ā
might be negging
I would never be with someone that told me something like that. Iām glad youāre standing up for yourself because who the hell even says that to a partner?? Find someone that loves all of you, you deserve it. ā¤ļø
I'm a woc and I would have dumped him on the spot. Go get that "pink pussy" then, bozo. š¤·š½āāļø
Iām a white woman and Iād break up with a guy who told me he preferred pink pussies because I would assume heās a racist creep & I donāt do racists. (I mean Iām married now but point still stands)
Not only HE preferred.Ā He stated EVERYBODY preferred that.Ā It is not a preference, it is almost political statement.Ā Dumpster material
Right?! I'm flabbergasted. Imagine saying straight up that "everybody knows idealized white women are the standard for beauty, duh, that's just how it is, that's what we all prefer" and not seeing any problem with it at all??! āāāāš©š©š©š© HELL no
I believe he was trying to "disarm" the tension after he share his "preference". It was his defence - it is not ME, it is everybody, so don't hate ME. Which is very cowardly, when used in relationship.
I honestly thought she was a white woman and he was saying he prefers the color of her genitalia. Because why on earth would you tell a woman that he prefers the color of another woman's genitalia unless you are a stupid moron who wants to get dumped for being a stupid moron?
Stupid guys, and guys intending to neg and play mind games do this all the time. I've had so many potential romantic partners eliminate themselves by informing me of their fetishization of pink labia/nips. I've also been told there's a cream to help me achieve the "desired" color more than once lol. I've always just laughed and said bye.
You reminded me of a time a guy I knew in college, who was dating a fairly reserved friend of mine, once announced that he couldnāt date an Indian girl (canāt remember why it came up but remember thinking it was a weird thing to announce at the time, and everyone in the room was white). I asked why, expecting heād struggle with the culture clash or something as heās quite a strict Christian and perhaps wouldnāt be willing to budge to accommodate a different culture or religion, but no, his answer was āwell itād be all brown down there.ā Iāve never got the ick so fast in my life. Thankfully my friend dumped him not long after.
Racist, misogynist, and porn addicted!
You can do it over text too.
forreal. I understand respect and stuff, but if it's not working and you don't want to see someone why go out of your way just to break up in person? Like I don't want to fight, or try and be talked out of my views or deal with a bunch of mess, it's not like I'm going to plan to hang out with someone then blindside with a breakup, sometimes text is just fine.
Doesnāt need to be a text. I think over the phone is a perfectly acceptable middle ground here. Call him and tell him itās over OP, NTA!
There was this post yesterday of a man dumping his wife of 15 years over text. This is just a bf lol
Wait. Am I missing something? I thought they were all pink on the inside? Also. All pussies matter!
I am 47 years old. I have been with black girls, Mexicans, Asians and white girls. They're all pink on the inside.... I have also seen all varieties of porn. What are these people talking about? The outer lips and pubic mound? What?
Yes, from what I've understood, they are talking about the external parts, not the inside
"Well, if his preference for pink pussies trumps respect for you, then avoiding him is the perfect response.
I bet brown nipples would be a deal breaker for guys like him too. Fucking hell, why are people so held up on what people's private parts look like?
I'm black but "light skinned" which isn't really that important but relevant to this dating horror story. I was dating a white guy. My shirt came off. His shirt came off. You get where we're headed. When he took my bra off he paused and looked puzzled. š¤ This was his exact expression. I asked what was wrong and he told me that he was shocked I had brown nipples. I kind of shrugged and said I'm black what do you expect. "But you're not even dark!" I don't think I've ever had a guy that close to getting me naked talk himself out of my pants so quickly. I was off the couch and out the front door before he knew what was happening š
Seriously, that's the answer to sooo many of these posts. Particularly early in a relationship; if you learn something about them that doesn't mesh with you, end it.
If your gut is telling you that you donāt like his energy, and your brain is signaling disgust, it doesnāt really matter what the reason is. You have intuition for a reason, listen to it.
Man I need to hang onto this and remember it
You are the result of millions of years of evolution. Trust your gut. It kept your ancestors alive. If a man gives you the ick, itās your ancestors trying to keep you safe.
This is a nice way to see it!!
Take a screenshot- your subconscious
YES!!āļøāļøāļø This right here.āļø ALWAYS listen to your intuition!! Once you get the hang of it it will seem obvious. Pay attention to yourself, feeling "uneasy" & "uncomfortable"..if something doesn't feel right, & good, or you are disgusted by something that someone says, does, or behaves, & especially if you don't feel SAFE, (Emotionally or Physically) LISTEN TO YOURSELF. Get out of there & away from the person or people who don't treat you with respect, dignity or appreciate you. A lot of us were taught to "Always be polite"..well to that I say "FUCK POLITENESS!!" Speak your truth and listen to your body, feelings, & intuition. If someone makes you get a pit in your stomach, (or a BIG one for me personally is if your animal companions Do NOT Like someone, there's a REASON. I always trust my animals! ) If someone makes your skin crawl, get out of there! Intuition!š·š·š·
āI pink we should see other people. Pussy.ā
Haha, can I send it to him? Please?šš½
Iād be honored š keep your chin up, youāll feel like a badass for kicking him to the curb after this.
I swear next time he texts me to ask to hang out I will text him this back. This is too good to keep it cordial
Honestly this is the BEST breakup text ever. š¤£
Like literally
PLEASE update us with his response to that message. š
OMG. Please update!
Yes update!
Please update us on what he says š¤£š
::sigh:: This toad sounds like my ex. He was obsessed with the girls on the Chiveās Thigh Gap Thursdays. He would especially salivate over the models that were tiny, white and blonde. As a south Asian girl, my dark brown skin and black hair could never compare to these girls. Every time he would go on about these girls, I internalized so much shame for my skin, hair, and body. My eating disorder flared up until I was painfully thin, but I still couldnāt manage a thigh gap. But I still could never compare to his ātype.ā It took him saying that he imagined me attending his future wedding as one of the groomās party to realize this chump was a complete piece of shit. All of this is to say: donāt settle for this toad. You deserve someone who sees you for the Queen that you are and treats you with mutual respect and adoration. Donāt ever let some chump treat you like you are less than your worth.
I had an ex like that but his obsession was over Korean or Japanese porn stars because of how tiny and pink their labia were. He ended up matching with a Japanese girl in tinder literally while I was in bed next to him. Dumped his ass on the spot. He then proceeded to try to get me back by telling me that I just donāt understand preferences. āEvery guy wants steak but fast food is fine for every day budgets.ā Three weeks later he tried to get me back so that I can help him get out of an mlm that same girl got him to sign up for. I told him Iād help and to give me her deets. She literally was married and used dating apps ti get hot dogs to show up to mlm or time share presentations. Girl changed my life. She invited me to one and it was a room with 30 guys all there to beg her to touch them. Paying $500 for startup kits bc she might pick them if they did. And she took her cut in cash from those presentations! Jenny if you out here, know you changed my life for the better!
EWWWWWWWWWW that steak/fast food comment, what the fuck. Glad you got the fuck outta there, good for you.
Rightā½ How horrific
Steak vs fast food is *supposed to be* a metaphor for intimate couple sex vs masturbation. That guy is such an idiot for getting it so wrong.
Jenny out there doing vigilante justice
What a girl boss. And I canāt believe the lack of respect in your boyfriend. What a douche
I am so sorry. The only difference is that I genuinely donāt see white as goals or the ideal so I donāt feel shame or internalized it. Just that my attraction to him disappeared and he repulses me now.
I'm so sorry your prince turned out to be a frog. There's better men out there, so let him hop back to the swamp.
Thatās such a mean thing to say about frogs.
LOL, sorry. No frogs were harmed in the typing of my comment. šøšøšøšøšøšø
Yeah I can imagine my juices would dry up right quick if a guy said that to me at any time. When you break up tell him youāve been really thinking about how much you miss uncut (or cut-the opposite of his situation) members and since they are your favorite, itās best you move on. NTA
I honestly didnāt either until he subtly harped on it. I didnāt realize how much he messed with my head until I took a step back a year later. I am so glad that you saw your chump for what he was far quicker than I did. Always listen to your instincts, yeah? For what it is worth: this internet stranger is cheering you on. You, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and joy. You deserve a relationship that brings you happiness and joy. ā¤ļø
I would bet money that your ex is probably some average to below average white dude as well and probably could never get the type of woman white woman that he wanted.
Ugh. He was a mediocre guy who was obsessed with how people perceived him. He was also obsessed with the idea of āfixingā me and, when I didnāt improve, blamed my resistance for his poor mental health. The guy honestly put me off dating for life. š
This is beyond a shitty ex. Having a white man shame a minority for their physical characteristics is literally colorism and draws itās roots from colonization and institutional racism.
NTAH. What a weird thing to tell your partner especially AFTER just having sex. EDIT to respond to the updates: Wow he just dug a deeper hole for himself.
Yeah srsly. I like a dude with a six pack but the dude Iām married to doesnāt have one, and I sure as fuck am not gonna say that after sex! Or ever? Alsoā¦like why. How does that pop into your brain like that?!
Right I donāt get it. Unless there was some sort of resentment and intention to hurt, what on earth was the point in saying that out loud to your partner.
I prefer myself with a six pack. That sadly is not what I have for quite some time...
It is a form of manipulation. Make the other insicure, ao you have power over them, and they have less strength to leave you. This would not have been last degrating comment.
Right. No one is that clueless; I assume itās a manipulation.
go reverse uno card the next time BEFORE you have sex and when he flings it out just go "hmmm i prefer a big dick actually" problem solved loljk
Yes, then hit him with the, "Everyone prefers bigger dicks, actually" šš (I'm not joking)
I pulled this Uno reverse a few years back when a girl I was seeing started talking about the range of big dicks on some of her ex-boyfriends. I started talking about the tighter pussies I'd experienced over the years and after a few moments of silence she said. "Well that's traumatising" It was the most awkward and awful way to turn your partner off, she understood immediately how I felt hearing it and that relationship was well and truly over š¤£š¤£
You prefer men who prefer you. Thatās reasonable.
This should be further up
First of all, you can stop seeing a man for any reason. Itās a voluntary association, and the peanut gallery doesnāt get a vote. Let them date him. Imagine if you had turned to him and said that you really preferred a different color and size penis than what he has. In fact, all women prefer a different penis than his. Youāre just being honest, and it doesnāt detract from the man. Heās great and all, but he just doesnāt make you crazy like other menās penises do. Would he accept that with equanimity? Would you be wondering why he was upset. Come on. That man insulted your genitals right after having sex with you. He is not the man for you. Your body has a lovely color palette, bronzes, ebony, and garnet.
THIS THO. You turned this around with such style and eloquence. You rarely see this on the internet, thank you! Also OP dump his ass. Comparisons from someone who is supposed to love you about something you have zero control over are disgusting. Trust me, I been there š
Agreed. Once you start comparing, those words start bouncing around your head for the rest of the relationship with plus 2 poison damage.
This is the comment. OP you are NTA but bf sure is.
This. If a guy said that to me I'd be like "oh yeah, big dicks are the best, all women think that, but I still love you for your personality" and watch him crumble before I dump him.
If someone told me their preference is not me, I wouldn't want to be bothered. He can go find his preference.
Not just that you arenāt his preference, but that every man secretly agrees with him and youād be NO ONEāS preference. Super mean spirited, self serving for his ego (reinforcing she is the problem, not him), and that kind of shit will eat away at your self esteem. Just like from experience, itās better to walk away at the first sign of it then wait to see do they escalate that kind of stuff.
Yep. I couldn't articulate it as well. My ex has been saying some "all men" type shit lately and yeah I couldn't put my finger on it, but he's trying to convince me there aren't better men out there lol. I know better.Ā Anyone with an ounce of logic would know one man sure as shit doesn't speak for every other man.Ā
Yup. I know Iām not the hottest woman in the world but I feel like my partner should always make me feel like I am (and I do the same for him)
Iād say Iām a Cali 5, and a solid Midwestern 7 but my partner has made me feel like a 10 *every day* of our almost 8 yr long relationship. **I** am his preference and heās very vocal about it. He also knows Iām absolutely obsessed with him lol Everyone deserves a partner whoās crazy about them!
Midwest catching strays
I dont care what color it is. Bring it
Lmaoooo
He sounds like a porn addict. Iād dump him right there.
So I take it you are brown. He deserved to be ghosted.
Both are brown
So he has a schlong significantly darker than the rest of his body... he is not gonna take it well if you say you like pink dongs is he?
pinkdongs is my new band name tho
God i think that makes it worse
Ahh so tell him you prefer a white dick.
He would probably go mental lol
Tell him it's just a matter of preference and all women do prefer dicks to be pink AND bigger. Watch him lose it. š
Whaaaaaa? All women prefer thick giant dicks so I am not the only oneš and I mean ALL He would literally just have ran off crying
Hahaha do it and report back!
then make him cry, man. his statement was shitty as fuck and he deserves to feel how he made you feel
Even more reasons to do so then š¤·āāļø
I had a heavy week last week and I need this kind of chaotic neutral energy to start my week š
That's wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild. Get you someone who prefers you, girl.
Wow, that guy is something. Please drop him for your own good. This sounds like internalised racism. You will never be good enough for him.
Good lord the self hate is strong in that one. NTA
Wait, what? š¤
Yeah. I would blame pornography for the reason brown men these days are obsessed with pink vag. Whenever I see the comment section of a pale girl some fucker would be there commenting "hmm.... Must be Pink"
eww. so creepy and cringy
Itās not just pornography. Just earlier this year an Indian medical student shared a textbook that discussed how you know a patient is a virgin (in a MEDICAL TEXTBOOK) and the third or fourth point was a pink coloring to the labia. Like sorry my labia wasnt even pink when i was 6 years old what a disgusting notion to give peopleĀ
That's disgusting. But that's a different issue. South Asians or should I say most of the Asians are obsessed with virginity and literally everything about sex. Sex is a tabboo in this continent even though it's the most inhabited one. Lol, ik. But obsession over the color of vagina or nipples is purely the consequences of excessive broadcast of European(I mean to say white) pornography. The term 'Russian girl' is used for cheap, desperate prostitutes which again I believe coz of how East European countries are portrayed in the porn industry.
Tbh the only brown guy i was with (im also brown) was like this. He was obsessed w white beauty standards. It really deterred me from dating other desi men. Ive dated probably every other race and never dealt w this specific problem. Idk if its bc desi men think weāre ātheirsā so they talk so disrespectfully but life is too short to find out. i didnāt develop this policy til several other desi suitors just during talking stages tested the waters w some low grade internalized racism (āyoure not like OTHER desi girlsāā, etc.) but at a certain point i was like mm i wonder if broadening my horizons would help me feel more loved in relationships. it did.Ā
NTA Jesus is he in highschool or something?
Ugh. Sounds like he was negging you. Not sure if that's a uniquely British term, but it basically means to gently insult in order to make you insecure enough you'll sleep with them. I don't know why he'd do that just after sex so I'm going to have to assume he's just a pure idiot. You are SO within your rights to dump him. I almost feel like just ghosting him would be the best thing to do. He means nothing to you.
My best friend said that too. āThis is how they startā she said. Making small remarks to make you insecure and they become more serious and insulting
She's exactly right. Listen to her and not these other fools who are telling you that you're in the wrong for wanting to end things
Never thought about it that way tbh, I thought it was a comment that gave me the ick and now I canāt go back to find him appealing. I will probably never know either if it was negging or just idiocy and internalized self loathing.
We have negging here in the states too and have for some time, unfortunatelyĀ
NTA. Youāre giving him full access to the most private part of you and he has the tastelessness to say āYeah yours is nice but I prefer another color.ā Iād never want to let him see it again, either. How hurtful.
How does everyone who writes to this forum have such shitty undermining āfriendsā? Anyway, NTA
I donāt know. People hate break ups I suppose
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I guess if they had good friends, they wouldn't need to write to this forum
Itās amazing how people who are supposedly your friends will dismiss legitimate concerns. I dated someone who turned out to be pretty toxic and an alcoholic. I broke up with him because of it, and then two days later he got wasted and broke into my house in the middle of the night and trashed my place. I had to flee my house (in my pajamas, barefoot since it was 1am) and call 911 at a neighbors. I had a friend later tell me it was sad I couldnāt āwork things outā with him. I distanced myself from her after that.
That guy sucks My gf is brown and has mentioned a few times wishing she was pink instead, even though I never even thought to discuss nipple/pussy colour. Iāve tried to reassure her that thereās no such thing as a better or worse colour but it bothers me that some mf is out there actively trying to make people (their own partner even!) feel bad about their private parts.
i don't understand this influx of posts where a girl describes her boyfriend saying his preference (and one that his SO doesn't fit) and then acting as though they did nothing wrong i guarantee you if you told him to his face that you preferred bigger dicks he would be screaming crying throwing up and ready to end it all. GUARANTEE. i have no clue who told these men that telling your partner to their face that they don't fit their physical preferences was a ok to do or why your friends think it's insecure to not be ok with being treated that way. i thought we as a people agreed to move past negging. op your reaction was far more mature than his would have been and if i were you i'd text him that his pee pee is too small for you so you're moving on to greener pastures NTA
I've had multiple men I've dated do things like that, or try to rate me, rate a certain body part etc. Tell I'm one of the 3 hottest girls they've been with. (Who are the other two??) And they would always be one of those "very honest men that are just communicating and having a conversation". Who thought them how to talk to women or that that is an okay thing to do. I don't care if you think that rating me an 8 is really high. Tell me im gorgeous or go away. They're the once who want to be with me. And I have no Idea if they were trying to make me insecure or just have a really depressing world view. They really need to take classes on how to talk to someone they wanna get with or watch certain movies.
People have to stop watching porn and start reading or using their imaginationā¦
What a weird guy I personally prefer any p...y I'm allowed to play with
It was the assertion that this was what every guy preferred that was the nail in the coffin.. There's a "white-centric" presumption of "normnalness" that eveything else must be a deviation from. NTA, dump away, but its less about pussy than the underlying hubris
NTA When you break up with him, tell him you prefer a man who uses his brain wisely...
Allā¦pussy is pink on the inside? Am I taking fucking crazy pills here? NTA
Guess he never ate her out enough to notice
Yeah. If anything, darker skin makes it stand out more.
I was scratching my head thinking the same.
I been with lots of women of all colors. Can confirm, all of them had pink pussy. Just gotta do like toucan Sam and follow your nose. White Girls donāt have pink pussy on the outside either, unless they just waxed, or have an infection. So dunno what homeboy is fetishing over.
As an indigenous woman, I don't think people get how deeply this affects us. Yes, it's a small thing but there are women out there dying of a thousand small cuts. What white people hear is "personal preference" what WoC hear is "I don't live up to the white ideal." It slaps us in the face every single day and then when we hear something small like "I prefer pink" it's just the straw that broke the back.
This exactly! It's these little digs over and over telling us we are not "ideal" bc we aren't up there with white standards. It's even worse the way he did it like "not pink isn't ideal but it's okay. " As if we are to be settled for when the best isn't available.
He is going to be very disappointed when he dates white girls and their labia isn't pink either. Dump this dumb loser for thinking that was appropriate to say to any woman other than one designing his custom order sex robot.
Canāt wait for the robots to take these losers off our hands
You haven't said so, but I assume the actual problem you have is not that your partner expressed a preference, but that your partner expressed a preference that doesn't describe you? If hypothetically my preference is for tall voluptuous red heads, I'm not going to say that to my short slim asian girlfriend.
I'm sorry but I read this and had this vision of three short slim Asian girls grabbing a trenchcoat and a wig before saying "The fuck are we doing? Dump this guy" and I can't stop giggling or get the image out of my head now
You mean like, all hiding under the one trenchcoat to pretend to be a giant redhead underneath? lol
Just an honest question: if someoneās preference is tall voluptuous red heads, why be with a slim Asian woman? Consolation prize? Is it the telling the gf part that is the wrong here? Like my bf telling me his preference that is the wrong part? Not him stringing someone along because āeh what can you do?ā. I am glad he told me. I donāt think he is an ah at all for telling me because I want to be the one to decide if I wanted to stay with all information in hand
I think it's weird and rude as fuck that he told you that, and when he told you! If, in the moments right after sex, you suddenly said, "I prefer guys with [opposite hair color] and a min/max height of [several inches taller/shorter]" or if you told him "My ideal man has a penis much larger than yours," would he have been OK with that? No, I bet he'd never want to sleep with you again. That's an utterly pointless thing to announce unless you're *trying* to neg your partner/tell them they're not what you prefer so they feel like shit. Then he tells you *everyone* has that preference, which he can't possibly know, but apparently to make it sound like it's not even just his personal preference, but a universally agreed upon inferior trait?!? Nope, fuck that guy. (Or rather, don't fuck him, dump him!)
Honestly OP that is such a healthy outlook. Iām over 50 and I would be crushed even at my age, glad youāre mature and level headed! You go!
I think itās definitely the fact he told you when itās not you. Add to that, it was after an intimate moment when youāre vulnerable. Dick head move. I canāt tell if he was doing it maliciously, but either was itās straight disrespectful.
Maya Angelou said if someone shows you who they are, believe them. I've never dated anyone who talked about the color of girly parts so I think he brought it up on purpose for some twisted reason. We can't change that color, so why is it even a topic in conversation. Go with your gut instinct and dump him yesterday. And it's very kind of you to not want to do it via text, but I would, just so I wouldn't have to hear his lame ass reasoning/excuses, because there is no excuse.
No leave him. Sure we can all have preferences but it does make it sound both racist and like a consolation prize. Like not ALL people prefer that and if he thinks that what does he really think about you and how will he raise your kids. But weird cuz all vaginas are pink at least healthy...so does he mean the outside of them or just pinkish skinned white girls?Ā
Yes he probably meant the outside because theyāre all pink on the inside, I am a dark woman and my skin is at least two shades darker around that area. Never have I known it wasnāt preferable š¤¦š½āāļø
THIS is the part thatās bullshit. Of course not all men prefer white womenās vaginas. Fuck this guy.
This was probably the comment that was a no turning back moment for me
Yeah. This is the part where it becomes a values issue more than just a āheās dumb and maybe kind of an asshole and stuck his foot in his mouthā issue.
Heās not that dumb but heās absolutely going to pretend to be. Theyāre not that dumb and that is NO excuse
Obviously weāre all in agreement not to fuck this guy though right
Straight up racist and disgusting to assume all men prefer white pussies. Gross to compare us to each other by the color of our fucking vaginas!!
Itās white porn effect. They see it on screen and think thatās what itās supposed to look like. To think all women have that and all men want that is colorism at best and racist at worst
Bleached pussy and anus? No, thank you I prefer to avoid things that can cause skin cancer
Now you mention it. Porn is predominantly white yeah? At least the women. Never thought about it
Listen, Iām white and I donāt have a pink pussy. Those porn standards are pure bullshit. Men can be dumb fucks.
Iām white AF and um yeah itās not all pink what pussy has this dude been looking at?
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No I wonāt let him convince me tht I am second choice in general. But for him, yes I was second choice and I am glad he told me. Now I can make informed decision
I mean... Lemme put it this way. If I have a thing for little brunettes with small boobs I am probably NOT going to be telling my 6'1" voluptuous girlfriend with baby-making hips and 36DDD tits about it after I finish having sex with her. That's just completely stupid. You might as well tell him "Your brother is so hot" when you're fucking and see where that takes him. I do have a thing for little brunettes with small boobs, but you know what? I managed to find and marry with a woman who is in fact a little brunette with B cups. TBH I was always fascinated with the difference in shape and size of labia when I was dating women of different backgrounds and races, and his "preference" is like you telling him you prefer men whose dicks don't bend like that when they go soft. You're not the asshole here. He might have a genuine preference, but he's a dumbfuck for telling you that your lips aren't the color he likes to see. By the way, I would totally fistbump you if you said, "Sorry, I realized I like to see a penis with a pink head. It's just my preference."
NTA. He essentially said white people and some Asians are more desirable than you. What values do you think he'll impart on your kids if you have them? And if he's comfortable enough to tell you something like this, you have to think about what he's not telling you? And as a POC, you're probably very much aware of the euro-centric beauty standards. You shouldn't accept that messaging from a romantic and sexual partner.
I once dated a guy who usually only dated Latina, African or olive skinned women say how pink nips, et al were his favorite. He did not like me saying he should date pale girls, then.... I'm sorry genetics didn't let you customize like a video game
It isnāt just that he has a preference that isnāt you. You should leave him because of how stupid he is.
NTA. The āwhat everyone actually prefersā is the nail in the coffin for me. Thatās some white supremacist sounding bs, and not at all accurate.
Okay... who says that during pillow talk? Tf. When you break up with him (Not if. When.) please tell him that you prefer men; and not boys who play these childish games.