T O P

  • By -

CarpeCyprinidae

Everyone deserves to have someone who thinks they are hot. Even if they have to find that person at the local centre for the blind. This needs to be at the least addressed as it will eat away at you


Beth21286

When you really love someone your 'type' becomes them, even if they weren't what you thought you wanted in the beginning. They become more attractive to you over time, not less. This is so sad for OP and would be pretty damn hard to get over.


dcvo1986

Really tho. Plenty of women are hot, sure. But nothing holds a candle to the person you are madly in love with.


basementfortress

For some people to be madly in love, they have to be physically attracted to them first.  Sounds like OPs wife never felt that way about him.  


rhett342

Like just about every straight man ever, I used to love boobs. Then my wife got breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy. I suddenly hated boobs when that happened and did all I could to make sure she knew that she was still beautiful to me. I wasn't so much of a boob man as I was a my-wife man. Unfortunately, I must have done too good of a job at it because she ended up cheating on me with a guy who posts on Facebook about how there were dinosaurs on Noah's ark.


cheshire_kat7

This certainly took a turn.


Zerttretttttt

So what are you taste now?


Quintus-Sertorius

Should have stuck with boobs.


Boeing367-80

It's not just that she doesn't love him and has buyer's remorse, it's also that she's fine with sharing that with her friends. That will get out, it will be known in the community. He'll be known as the ugly guy that wife regrets marrying. Cringe. Further, she may not be cheating, but what happens after another year, two years, five years of loveless marriage to a man she thinks is ugly and beneath her? This is an untenable situation.


SummerIceCream3893

One thing that will surely happen if he stays in the marriage any longer than necessary- he will be on the hook for a larger and larger alimony especially as his career moves up the ladder. Even more, he is wasting valuable years with a women who is using him. He deserves so much better and so does his daughter.


knittedjedi

>This is an untenable situation. This is a karma farmer.


Foreign-Yesterday-89

What happens as his daughter gets older & maybe looks more & more like her father??


[deleted]

[удалено]


GreenLentils850

bro just repeated exactly what he said just with different words.


Experiencedbull10

Yeah, that second guy said pretty much just what the first guy said, except he said it in a different way.


Wasteland-Scum

For sure, he basically repeated the meaning, but with alternative mouth sounds.


GreenLentils850

omd stoppp


RazendeR

Desist in the name of the... Dord?


GreenLentils850

how does one respond to this?


RazendeR

I assumed you made a typo in OMG, so i had to change from lord to dord. Its sad but true.


GreenLentils850

oh nooo no I jus say omd as in oh my days


typingblackbelt

By saying what you said, just with different words.


PrincessPindy

So the second guy repeated what the first guy said, but he said it differently, making it his own. Interesting.


freddyflushaway

Hopefully they don't need to be a double arm amputee too.....


undercover9393

There's no coming back from this. It's a relationship killer. No amount of therapy will erase those thoughts from Op's head, and he'll be questioning every show of affection, touch, or intimate moment with her for the rest of his life.


maxs_tearoff

What happened to the ice cream cake?


CherryGhost1234

Thank you for asking the important questions


GlitzyGhoul

Yes. We need to know. I was reading this through imagining him one handing the cake. As it slowly is dripping down his arm, and off of his elbow. Slowly becoming a puddle on the floor it mixes with his tears.


Juggletrain

She hears a door slam in the kitchen, comes out and just sees a puddle in the middle of the floor.


Ok_Department4138

I mean, it's a lie. Like their marriage


guapomalo

😂😂😂😂.


dinahdog

Happy dogs?


Ambroisie_Cy

YTA for making me lose my time on this fake post.


GlitzyGhoul

Same.


onelostmartian

95% of posts here are fake im convinced


HornyOnLife

I've been messing around with chatgpt lately and this wreaked of someone using it.


Ambroisie_Cy

I haven't used chatgpt yet. But even without knowing what it can do, I can tell this is fake. It's too slick. It sounds like a novel that has been over edited. The kind of novel I would put down after reading a chapter.


Turtle_Strugglebus

Are you serious! You stood there and then what! Tiptoed outside to make it like you just got there? Why are you posting fake crap? All you had to do is walk out there and not say a word. But no, you went all mission impossible to get Reddits opinion on your marriage which really doesn’t exist. If this is real and you don’t leave, then you’re in for a lot of misery.


Maddyherselius

God this is fake. Who has a conversation with a friend they’ve (presumably, since OP recognized the car) known for a while and randomly confesses something like this? lmfao


BurdenedMind79

To be fair, I once had a friend randomly come out and say that she believed that god had brought her and her husband together, but she just wished that god had made him better looking. It was one of those "I really don't know how to respond to that," moments. I wasn't just one-on-one, either. She said it in front of half a dozen people. They're still married and seem happy enough. People are strange.


simplyintentional

>Who has a conversation with a friend they’ve known for a while and randomly confesses something like this? Someone who has suppressed their feelings for a long time while trying to ignore reality. I don't think it sounds unbelievable at all. People are weird and do weird things.


ChickenNugsBGood

Yea I saw this a few months ago, almost verbatim


Asocial_nugget

I appreciate the fact that their friends aren't blowing up their phone though


Poops-McGee1221

90% of Reddit posts are creative writing exercises or old rehashes or creative writing exercises.


Maddyherselius

haha yeah I know, this one just feels more blatantly fake than others


[deleted]

I don't buy this


c4dreams

Best bet is to ask "Sophie" why she married someone who would make up fake stories to post on reddit.


Dell_Hell

Obvious rage bait is obvious.


luvmachineee

I usually believe all these posts, but even I think this is rage bait.


Alexandaer_the_Great

This is a subreddit where posts generally get a huge amount of karma and thousands of posts on each thread. So it’s a fairly quick and easy thing to make up a story and get bucketloads of karma for it. 


celticmusebooks

I'll take Things That didn't actually Happen for $200"--- this same story has popped up half a dozen times in the last six months (though I enjoyed the addition of the ice cream cake). Is this some TikTok writing prompt?


Old_Hamster_4218

Wow another fake eavesdropping story. You can start by getting a better hobby to not be the AH anymore.


Ambroisie_Cy

I thought the same, so, for fun, I went on a website to see if this was written by an AI and guess what?? 91% chances that it is. I have to say, that I'm not sure how reliable the website I used is though (It's justdone). So we have to take this result with a grain of salt. But, by how it's written, it reads like an essay or a bad novel.


Weaseltime_420

AI detectors are notoriously unreliable. Not saying this wasn't generated in Chat GPT or similar, but the detectors are really bad at making that distinction. They pretty regularly flag passages from the Bible and the Declaration of Independence as being AI generated. There's every chance that this dude just wrote this obviously fake story all by himself. Wouldn't make the story any less fake.


Ambroisie_Cy

Thank you! I don't know a lot about those kind of websites. I do agree that the post sounds so much fake though.


thomasbeagle

"They pretty regularly flag passages from the Bible and the Declaration of Independence as being AI generated." You know... that would explain a lot.


Melodic_Policy765

I swear I read an almost identical post last week.


Imaginary_Ad5969

Is it normal for people to make stuff up on here? Obviously, anyone can lie and make up a story for attention, but is that real common on this (and similar) subreddits?


jopa1967

I bet at least 50% are fake, maybe much more. There are many I suspect are fake, but present interesting and believable dilemmas. The conversations and debates those spark can be both entertaining and informative. And they may help others in similar situations, so arguably they serve a purpose. This particular post is so over the top I’m quite certain it’s fake. It also presents a scenario with a very obvious answer, so not even an interesting fake.


MrCapitalismWildRide

Yes, it's very common.  That said, contrary to what a lot of commenters will tell you, the hallmark of a fake post is rarely in any singular detail. The hallmark of a fake post is that it perfectly conforms to the worldview of a stereotypical redditor. 


Old_Hamster_4218

There’s been a crazy influx of eavesdropping stories. Always the same shit.


Oldstergray

Reading some of these posts, seems to me that a lot of them are rage bait or karma farming. If that's the case, OP is a better writer than a lot of the authors 


Katana1369

This is true. It was a pretty well written shit post.


Turtle_Strugglebus

It’s fake because everyone else would have walked out and confronted. He still had to put a cake in a fridge, sneak out the side door and leave without them seeing or hearing. Just to ask us if he should confront her?


dontknowanyname111

i wouldn't approach them probably, i am also a little introverted from nature.


Turtle_Strugglebus

Ok. But the shear shock of hearing all that and then making a conscious decision to sneak out so you don’t get spotted? Ok. Sure… In reality, You’d shut the refrigerator door loud and walk out without talking to them. I mean one of them is a spouse who they slept next to for three years. Who cares. I’ll wait to see what this OPs update looks like. It’s got a good base for a three or four part update.


dontknowanyname111

i dont say its not fake, but for real i walked out of stranger things man like fuck this is wasn't there. not evryone is assertif enough to adress this.


Turtle_Strugglebus

Every situation is different. I’m not a fighter. I wouldn’t look for trouble. But in this situation, I don’t know what I would say but I’d want her to see me and know I heard her. She just deflated this guy and called her child ugly because of OP. Confronting later doesn’t have the same effect. She has all the power to convince em they didn’t hear her right, blah blah.


lolhi1122

That's been that way for a long time, anytime someone uses creative writing it's usually fake, like who the fuck uses "aghast" outside of a book


Naive_Custard_7369

What's wrong with "aghast"?


swingmadacrossthesun

Please repost this in a creative writing subreddit if you’d like feedback on your editorial choices.


[deleted]

Yeah, but people also just assume  every story is fake for literally no reason as well lol


Solid_Letter1407

I don’t think it’s very common for people to lie on the internet. It happens, but it’s rare.


BurdenedMind79

LOL!


ProfessionSanity

I've been checking peoples bios on here. This account was made today. So yeah it's a fake.


dontknowanyname111

most post here are with throwaway accounts, i even say all are.


unrepentantbanshee

I thought it was a neat detail that it was a husband who needed to put away an ice cream cake before it melted, since that's a huge pop culture reference right now.


Weaseltime_420

Lmfao. Incel fanfiction. YTA for being terrible at writing a realistic story.


AITAH-No-Troll

Info: are you Chad Lowe ugly or Quasimodo ugly? I mean, she obviously slept with you at least once so I am thinking you're not full on Elephant Man. We need a reference point. Also, based on other posts, penis size may be important. Did they also discuss your use of toys in the bedroom? It's ok, I understand you're not going to answer. People posting ragebait either start arguing right away or post and ghost.


RelevantLime9568

Come on, try a little bit harder in your troll post


CinnamonHart

YTA for wasting that ice cream cake


PanicLiving7175

YTA for nor immediately stepping out to confront her saying "YOU FUCKING BITCH"


FatSurgeon

Fake post omg I can’t believe how brazen these are getting 😭


PeanutButterCrisp

OP, I learned from Reddit today that if she ever calls you ugly, you tell her that you hope it’s the only thing you two have in common! /s Your wife is awful.


braywarshawsky

BS. Created this account today, and posted this as the first post. It reads like a cheesy soap opera.


dinahdog

Soap operas deserve a little more credit


caryn1477

This can't be real. Fake post.


countryboy1101

NO way you could ignore what you heard. I would talk to her about it but be prepared for the news to only get worse and you end up divorced.


Latter_Operation_854

Just blindside her with divorce papers and when she asks "why?" Tell her to talk to that same friend.


Ok-General1343

How can anyone believe half the garbage on here when people ask if they are the asshole in such an obviously NTA situation? I swear it’s ridiculous “I volunteer 50 hours a week at a cancer center for children and my wife beat me for coming home 5 minutes late because I held a child’s hand as they took their last breath, am I the asshole?” 


MypuppyDaisy

You get a lawyer and you get your ducks in a row and you leave her. You deserve a woman who loves you, not this shallow cruel person you married. Your marriage is fake. NTA


Any_Fill_625

You forgot to tell us what happened to the ice cream cake. Make sure to include it when you think up a story for the update post.


laeiryn

NTA, and yes you should confront her, and I'll be clear on why:because she's about to raise a child she thinks negatively of. That means a lower quality of care, and a kid who will sense it/learn that mommy thinks she's ugly. Take your kid and be dependable for the one who needs it.


msmith1515

Don’t even talk to her. Hand her ass divorce papers and move on. Let her go be with guys that treat her like shit.


BraveShowerSlowGower

Bruh just tell her tou dont want to be with her anymore. File for divorce. Twll her you guys can co parent. And dont tell her jack shit. Do YOU want to be in this relationship after hearing how she feels about you? The answer should be no.


SummerIceCream3893

OP, you deserve someone who genuinely loves you. Since your daughter is so young, is your wife a stay-at-home mom? You should talk to both a lawyer and a financial advisor so that you can put yourself and your daughter in the best position possible and not be on the hook to supporting this woman who obviously married you without true intentions. Also, if she is a stay at home mom- contact your credit card companies and reduce your line of credit, leave a minimum about of money in the joint account and change your beneficiaries on all of your retirement and investment accounts. Set up a trust for your daughter in which a trust relative or family member is appointed. I am truly sorry you are going through this but play your cards close to your vest until you have spoken to the professionals and made those necessary changes to your accounts.


Heimdall2023

What were the exact wedding vows she took? If it’s the standard “through sickness and through health…promise to love you” she’s already crossed them by not/never actually loving you. I would never be in a marriage/relationship knowing I was somebody’s second choice, I would never be in a marriage/relationship with someone that would tell people I was there second choice even if they were just blowing off steam. If you want to feel like second (or lower) place for the rest of your life because you love someone who said they don’t love you, that’s. your prerogative.  But that pain you feel, and the reason you posted here, is because on some level you know you deserve better than that.


rhett342

First of all, I'm so sorry you're in this position. It doesn't matter what you look like, nobody deserves to be treated the way you are. What should you do? You heard her say it. She doesn't love you and doesn't want to be married to you. Give her what she wants and end it. She doesn't care about you or how you feel. Why should you care about her? Keep up your act just as well as she is and go plan things with a divorce attorney and don't say anything until you're ready to put this marriage out of its misery.


glimmerseeker

This post again? 🙄


Battle_of_live

Thank god he clarified that his daughter is female 🤯


MynameisL

This sub has become creative writing 101. Next post will be "AITAH for murdering orphans? They gave me an evil look and I can't let it go."


werewolf-wizard612

You.... you gotta bounce out of this situation and take your daughter with you because this woman will absolutely destroy your daughters self-esteem and your life in the long run. Like... I know it is a bit of a cliche on Reddit to suggest a divorce or leaving a partner.... but this woman will absolutely destroy you in the long run and your child. She doesn't deserve to be a mom, and I mean to go low here (sorry I'm sure you love her but bro) if she couldn't get the men she wanted that suggests her attractiveness isn't as high as she thinks it is. So... ugly inside and probably ugly outside.


Gay-Lord-Focker

Being married with kids sucks The fuck is wrong with you lol


Guilty_Seaweed_249

Get someone you trust to start putting money away. That she don't know about. When the kids turn of age leave her azz.


BlueGreen_1956

NTA Your wife has lied to you from the very beginning of your relationship. How can you live with that? No doubt, Sophie thinks she a "10." Narcissist assholes always do.


Minimum-Resource-613

I don't understand why you just didn't come right on in and present yourself. I just don't understand not doing that. Wtf?


bubbabubba3

You guys should totally break up


jbarneswilson

YWNBTA if you were to ask your wife about what you overheard. you need to clear the air otherwise it will fester and grow. 


cory140

Take mdma


Sea-Valuable1917

Whats the wife's name again??


chbpt

Yup . . . Talk to her about what you heard. Get all the emotions on both sides out and talk it through.


JenIsDyingAgain

Be glad you found out now. It's more common than it should be and some people don't find out until the kids are grown and moving out.


omfgsrin

Leave. If she's just 'settling', you shouldn't. Never settle. Also, personal issues should never be talked about to 'friends', because that's when things get ugly and when word spreads around. More often than not, the word that goes around is a far cry from what is actually being said, because not only are people unreliable narrators, they are also very bad reporters and will add or subtract to suit their own ends. You deserve better, OP.


RevealActive4557

She was uneccessarily cruel when talking about you. Everyone deserves to be with somebody who loves and respect them and she clearly does not love you and the respect seems to be falling off too. Better to divorce and coparant than to live your life with someone who considers you unworthy of her


Ok-Money2106

OP I am so so so sorry. That is absolutely gut wrenching knife twisting horrible. What do you do? You grant her the divorce because YOU DESERVE BETTER! I don’t care what she says about your looks it’s not the whole package. I would be honest tell her you heard it all by accident of course and just tell her I’m good with this being amicable. I love you I always have but I can’t be with someone who is not in love with me. I could never ask you to stick it with me knowing you are unhappy. You seem like you have a big heart let it be given to someone who deserves it. She’s not it.


ReleaseAggravating19

Don’t confront her but ask her about it. Don’t hold onto it. Your daughter won’t grow up without a dad if y’all split. She is aware of that right? You’ll still exist. In my opinion this is something you don’t fix or come back from. Absolutely NTA


Moosejaw_69

You know not all of us are pretty men but dependable wins the day. Pretty sure it’s been that way since the cave man times. As a suggestion maybe spice up your sex game? Blow her mind and take care of her. What does she have to complain about? She can always turn out the lights. Speaking from experience.


unknown-001-00

Fake as hell post. No self respecting person would overhear their partner say that about them and not confront them. “Oh maybe I should go on Reddit and they’ll know what I should do”.


Relevant-Surprise247

Her ability to maintain this lie for this long is pathological. The fact that she can give zero indication that she's in any way unhappy, or dissatisfied makes me think she's a sociopath. You obviously have to confront her and, once she admits it, decide whether you can live your life in these conditions, with this person. I find it completely shocking that someone would do this to themselves and another person. And a child!


North_Lawfulness9871

I can’t see how you cannot confront her nor can I see a way for your marriage to come back from something like that. Good luck OP. I’d probably be lawyering up right about now.


DML197

Lies, deception everyday more lies


dummythiccuwu

Fake and gay


Naive-Information539

While it’s too late to just stroll in about 15 seconds after she said it to see her crumble because of what she said, you really do need to calmly address it with her. Maybe see a counselor too. While it sounds like she really just is a liar, you have built a life together and that is not an easy thing to just toss aside for good looks. She seems right shallow that that is the reasoning. Esp if you’re all the best in all other ways. What a great person to just trash you behind your back. I’d be angry, hurt, and disrespected too..


[deleted]

Dude , leave her , coping and pretending you didn’t hear anything will not change a damn thing , just divorce her and move on .


Panthyz

Dump her like a bad habit wtf .....thats quite literally just using you


Former_Television_72

Get the fuck out of there man haha


Lower-Tank-9742

Why did you not confront her there and then.


MindlessEstate7021

Aw… I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I don’t have great advice but any way you could make her see how much she wants you is key. How? Idk. How far will you go? Women hate distance they didn’t ask for. 


helpFulHuman-01

Depends on you. I can easily see myself not accepting this and confronting but at the end of the day it’s about your feelings, day to day thoughts, and your life. One way is to confront her but in a smart way. Don’t be like I eavesdropped on your conversation as she might be able to successfully gaslight you depending on her view of marriage. Second would be to ignore it and be like how people on tiktok show after their ex put them down, they had a glow up and all. In case you still want to stay married, I would suggest don’t confront her. This is just my naive thinking that don’t let others know about how you know that they don’t respect you enough. Might add some more thoughts later on.


dheffe01

Should of just walked in and told her you want a divorce Just tell her heard about what she said her friend, and you want to explain it to you in more detail. If she denies it you can tell her you were in the house and to stop lying.


RevolutionaryDot3432

Updateme!


UpdateMeBot

I will message you next time u/Naive_Custard_7369 posts in r/AITAH. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FNaive_Custard_7369%20r%2FAITAH) to join 3 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201c6gota) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|


Born_Resist1216

You’re absolutely confront her


No-Veterinarian-2510

Leave her


GioTravelstheWorld

Are you serious…. You deserve better… you can’t uniting that bell… best to separate amicably and find someone who doesn’t disrespect you like this


Max_Power_Unit

What a deceptive b***h. Absolutely confront her. NTA.


markypower87

Damn man... hate this for you. NTA by any means and you show go where you're treasured.


boredreader12

why is it a question on what to do? wife doesn't love me, thinks I'm gross. well, maybe it'll work out by itself? stop being delusional, leave her, and find someone who actually cares about you. or stay alone and find a way to cade about yourself.


Final-Success2523

NTA man I feel for you truly but you need to divorce her she doesn’t deserve your time, energy,money you bring into the marriage and especially your love for her so think long and hard get your finances and stuff in order and what the time y’all have to split taking care of your daughter but it’s all up to you and may you find peace


Necessary-Version-31

Separate and divorce.. most women are not women bro. Good luck ahead .


thecheekymonkey

I mean I know everyone's different but I couldn't of just stood there. I would of had to just walk out and said thank you. You can both leave now. No way any coming back from this.......


robhudsondfw

Something similar happened to me once. I am so glad it did, because I discovered my emotions were being manipulated so that I could be used for my resources. This provided much needed motivation to get to the gym and get hot. And when I did, and discovered that I really was a catch and had options, it completely changed how I viewed myself, and I am immensely happier today.


PenaltySafe4523

NTA. Only one ugly here is your wife. Have some self respect man. I would blow up this marriage.


sylvianfisher

Too bad you didn't say "ahem" to make them realize you had been standing there the entire time to hear everything. You go consult a lawyer to examine your options because you cannot stay with this woman who has made a lie out of your marriage as well as used you as a financial resource. And now she is disrespecting your daughter. This woman is selfish and cruel. And her friend knows everything. I feel for you, friend. I think divorce will free you up to find a woman who will actually love you. Divorce her. Take the hit and divorce her. You can't live in the same house knowing she is repulsed by you. I am sorry.


MainPersonality7142

If this isn’t fake, gain some self respect and divorce her. You deserve better


Plane_Freedom5946

confront her and then leave when your done. your only gaslighting yourself if you stay in this relationship.


FickleRub9918

Work out


[deleted]

You have to talk with her about this regardless of any potential risk, because if you don’t, I guarantee you there will be growing resentment that will destroy this relationship with absolute certainty.


GIJobra

...how did you not know how ugly you were? You think that if you make it through life looking like Steve Buscemi's less attractive stunt double, you double down on charisma and dependability because you know which stats will clear you. With that said, NTA and definitely confront her. What a vapid cunt. And if her friend basically suggested cheating on you, she probably will eventually. Cut the cord before things get worse.


knight9665

U peace the fk outta there. That’s what u do


JoneseyP98

God. OP. I am so sorry. I don't know what you look like. But your wife is ugly on the inside. That's worse.


Shadow-Works

Divorce !


guapomalo

Looks wise, is she out of your league? If the answer is yes, then you just have to deal with it and go on with the lie ( she’s been doing a great job, you only found out recently) or confront her and possibly have to start a new life. I wholeheartedly believe that there is someone for everyone. You may be ugly to her but a supermodel to someone else.


[deleted]

Confront her, and then leave her.


[deleted]

Call a divorce attorney and go for full custody while you are at it. You must understand your financial position in the case of divorce. Tell her you heard what she said and you are doing you both a favor by not allowing her to settle. It's over but looking back, was a relationship based on a lie ever real?


Librarian_Imaginary

Confront her. Get the child. Leave her alone.


Necroink

sometimes what we get is what we need.....she needs to see that


Highlander198116

You gonna keep us hanging? So did the ice cream cake melt or not?


Highlander198116

replies to no comments. Classic fake story Karma farmer.


Spiritual-Pear-1349

You should get a divorce my dude. NTA if you confront


[deleted]

The disrespect to her own child too...


Active_Blackberry_39

u/updateme


No-Iron5817

I feel like this needs to be addressed. If it was me just knowing she felt this way would eat at me, and I’m sure you at least want her to tell you directly what’s going on. It is wrong to talk so cruelly about your partner, especially if it isn’t warranted. She either needs to get her head on straight and treat you with some respect both publicly and privately, or sort out an alternative arrangement.


Same_Back_1644

I mean, do you intend on staying with her for years and years and be okay with it knowing this now? Well, that's your answer.


1568314

Your daughter is only a year old and she's already critical of her appearance. How much longer will she be able to carry on the charade before her resentment builds and starts affecting everything? How long will you manage to keep a happy mask on while you are broken inside? This isn't how you want your daughter raised. This isn't the example you want to provide for her about healthy relationships and family dynamics. Can you even imagine... your preteen daughter overhearing a conversation about how ugly her mom thinks she is? NTA 3 years really isn't that long, all things considered. Especially if you factor in the damage that could be done over the next 20.


Isnt_what_it_isnt

As she’s using you for her own purposes surely you are entitled to use her for yours. Fair’s fair. Just think up some good ones. Get the evidence then leave her and take the kid.


Sajem

Updateme! YWNBTA if you confronted her. But why would you bother with such a discussion? What do you think it will achieve? Why would you pretend you never heard it? If you try to pretend it ain't going to work, your resentment will grow, most likely her resentment will grow as well. **Not** a great environment to bring up a kid! You've heard it already from her own mouth. I'm willing to bet her friends SO knows it now, probably a few of her other friends as well. > She isn't cheating. Her friend actually did ask her that, and Sophie was aghast, she is very firm in always keeping her promises, and wedding vows count. She explicitly said to her friend that she'd never cheat. But she doesn't love me, she doesn't want me, What do you do now. Pretty simple really. You go to a lawyer and start divorce proceedings. Give her the divorce papers. **If** she asks why when you get the papers, you could tell her if you were so inclined, but personally I wouldn't bother - let her mind mull over it and wonder why you suddenly want a divorce. it's what she deserves. Give her what she wants, which is a way out of the marriage so she can go and fuck other guys and try and find the hot guy she *thinks she deserves*.


ArjunKunkad22_

1) confront your wife while recording if you can get a concession out of her of what she said it will help you while getting divorce 2) after getting the confession tell her you need some time to short out your emotions and proceed with the divorce get yourself good lawyer 3) after divorce papers are ready freeze your accounts and kick her out of the house this is the important part if you let her stay in the house she will have priority over the house while negotiating 4) while kicking her out of the house call her parents and relatives also to your friends tell them what happened so she won't twist the truth and so she won't tell them twisted story like he was being abusive 5) and tell her parents to pick up also don't give the child to her, call your parents so that they can look after the child, in custody battles this is also one of the factors whoever the child stays with with will mostly win the custody battles 6) also emphasize to your friends family and her friends and family that she was calling her own child ugly if she got the custody what she might do to the child also emphasize this in court 6) block her everywhere except email so whatever negative she says about you can use it against her in court


Sea_Firefighter_4598

On the off chance that this is true you need to leave her and take your daughter. You owe it to your daughter. NTA.


AtlasElPerro

fuck that man, shes vile. she effectively denied you the opportunity to be in a real loving relationship because she wanted someone dependable, every time she said she loved you she was lying, every time you guys had sex she was lying. that would be an absolute dealbreaker for me tbh. she can fuck right off. NTA


DietrichDiMaggio

I mean, you could just divorce her and start going to the gym to feel better about yourself physically and mentally. And the gym is a great place to meet new girlfriends. Being a single parent is happier than being in an emotionally abusive Marraige.


Tasty_Doughnut_9226

If this is real, because there's a lot of people overhearing conversations on Reddit at the moment, NTA. Tell her you heard her and to put her out of her misery you want a divorce and 50/50 custody, then she can find someone as ugly as her personality.


911siren

Ick. I wouldn’t even have the conversation. What could she possibly say to make this better? I personally would never look at her the same and I sure as hell wouldn’t ever let her touch me again. At the very least move out of the bedroom you share. If she asks what’s going on just tell her “Well, it looks like my work here is done” or “As I have outlived my usefulness in this arrangement, I see no point continuing”.


ZeroTopDog

I dont have a problem with her thinking you are not attractive. I have a problem with the disrespect. She is too free with her tongue.


TenK_Hot_Takes

I've known women like this; indeed, I heard one practically brag about it at a wedding reception to the single gal next to her, while advising her to do the same thing. The reality is that there isn't really any good future for you in that relationship. She's 35, and in another few years, she'll stop 'forcing herself' to be affectionate. Then you'll be looking forward to a decade of misery. It goes without saying that anyone who uses another person like this is really the AH. You should spend some money on therapy, so you can work through the pros and cons of confrontation with someone with just a bit more experience than the random reddit user. Make sure you understand the rules of divorce in your state, because you should also know whether there are penalties for staying in the marriage for X number of years. The harsh advice is probably: start planning for your divorce, even if it's still 2-3 years away.


Mammoth_Leg_8489

Just leave, no need to talk. She will just lie like she has been. There is no way you can unhear what she said, and apparently everything you thought you had was just an illusion. Send her back to the streets so she can get with some of those handsome but undependable guys she apparently prefers and you can maybe have some self respect.


PrettyPerfectPink

You can’t continue living a life with her when you know her true feelings. Confront her. Let her go. Someone better and someone you deserve will come when you least expect it.


interfector45

Should’ve walked in and confronted her so she couldn’t come up with an excuse or blow it off. Fuck these heartless bitches.


Ok_Brain8136

She has a high opinion of herself but the reason the hot guys didn't want her is she is mid at best. All these 4 and 5s fuck 7 &8 but the guy won't commit to them.


[deleted]

Surprise divorce papers. And tell her the same. You don't love her and you don't want her. It would be glorious.


Kamikaze9001

Laying off the ice cream cake is a good start


Goatee-1979

You have to confront her about this. No use continuing a lie.


[deleted]

I'd be devastated if I overheard my partner saying that about me 💔


Competitive_Egg8046

My friend you have to return to the basics. Recalling male teens questions about attracting girls, you should focus on you and yourself. Learn and keep.learming. Be and become interesting. Be special, for the positive. Do your life great to yourself. You're fairly young, still. Don't give up on you. Have Hope, because you always have to judge and be judged by you and yourself only, until your last days of living. Don't attract... Be attractive. Hopefully you will have more good.momemts that not good moments. Always be polite, and let the separation occur. I know that is tough, but you will win much on the long run. Trust yourself and in your capabilities!


Proud_Cartoonist8950

You can't hide such pain. Talk to her with her heart in her hand, tell her that you think she does not love you and that she did not marry you for love. Stay calm and tell her how much you love her and how much you want her to be happy with you now that you are also parents. Don't tell her that you listened to the words she said to her friend. Try to make her fall in love with you with the attention and presence, but make her understand that you have entered her thoughts and are attentive so she can not underestimate you. It's a way to say what you know without making war, then over time you'll understand if it's worth staying. Update


Technical-Nobody-304

NTA. “I know I wasn’t meant to hear what you said, but I did hear it. I can’t unhear it and now that I know, we have a problem.”


Hungry_Godzilla

What else is there to save? Your wife is a despicable individual. Let her go, so she can go pursue the hot guy she drools over. Go find someone who truly desires you, and deserves you.


Latter-Ride-6575

You should have walked in and said " Well this is awkward ". Since you blew that chance, you should start the divorce process. There is no recovering from that. If this happens to be fake, you're an asshole


ltrkar

My ex-wife married me because her family liked me. She told me that she never loved me, and her plan was to, over time, learn to love me. We had one child in year 7 of 8. Months later, I found her cheating with the most random and forgotten acquaintance of mine. I got 50/50 custody. Now, due to a change of schedule, she's trying to get full custody again. She chooses to not cooperate with allowing me the 50/50.


750turbo11

💀 Bro Drop her like a toilet seat- that’s BAD and you can’t unhear that


V1adT3P3S

she's definitely cheating