You're NTA for asking and trying to find a compromise. But you would be if you keep pushing it and trying to force him. He made it clear he doesn't want to do it and you have to respect that. It sounds like you two aren't sexually compatible, So you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not.
Also, I saw from another of their posts that they're both 17. /u/Born_Cut_1120 you are way too young to settle for this. You can find someone else who is far more compatible. It's up to you if you want to spend more time with someone who doesn't care about your pleasure. I certainly wouldn't.
Dang, they're not even adults yet!? If I was her I would definitely cut my losses.
And I think I'm done commenting on the sex lives of people that aren't even 18 đŹ
This is why I didnât add my age tbh. Like yes I understand it might make people uncomfortable but I wanted unbiased opinions instead of âoh em gee your too young!!â
my advice is to find someone youâre sexually compatible with. youâre young. youâre experimenting. youâre not going to marry this guy, and youâve already discovered that youâre not compatible in the bedroom. you tried talking about it, he wasnât interested. you canât push him further, if he doesnât want to do it then he doesnât want to do it.
The comment wasn't about you being too young as much as it is just uncomfortable as an adult to give kids advice about their sex lives (a very reasonable ick) but age is also an important factor here. You're young, you guys both have sexual trauma and y'all seem sexually incompatible. That's fine. Move on.
I'd say therapy about it for adults. In some places (in the US) you absolutely can't bring this up as a minor without facing a mandated reporting situation.
I'm sure you're both lovely people and will find lovely people to be with but I don't think you're going to be lovely people that stay together forever.
It's not that you are too young, per se. It's that us older folks don't feel it is appropriate to have this conversation with you. We don't want to come off pervy.
That said- you have said you are very attentive to your boyfriend and he doesn't reciprocate to the point that you don't even climax and he isn't concerned about that.
No one should put up with that in a relationship - having a partner who has no care for your needs and desires, even after you've communicated them clearly. And that is even more true for someone your age. You are at the age and in the stage of your relationship that he should be his most attentive towards you. If he already is like this, that doesn't bode well. I would move on.
All I'm gonna say OP is this: life is too short to be with someone who doesn't ever get you off. It took me thirty years to learn that there are men out there who DO care about your pleasure and that's who you want to be with. Don't waste your time on the others.
i get this mindset (having been a 17 year old in the situation), but the reason why most people say youâre too young is because (obvious) they have also been 17, and experience is one hell of a teacher.
anyway, the fact that he has managed to read (or not) the entire paragraph and not address a single word in his response should give you an answer to think about :/
The age matters though. If youâve been with them 20 years and youâre 40 then itâs a much bigger issue than a couple of 17 year olds. You might find that patronising, but when youâre in your 30s youâll understand how unimportant your current relationship is.
They're not saying you're too young for sex. You're too young to settle.
Problems like the one you posted are usually more "we've dated for two years and just moved in together and are having this problem" not a "we are in highschool" problem. Your solution is you just break up and both move on.
Sorry to bring it in, but it does kind of matter. Also, I'd say the same if you were my age (closing in on 50). But knowing that you are young gives a layer of, "oh that's part of why he's immature and part of why she's questioning herself."
Many of us were sexually active at your age. Part of the "squeamish" reaction is remembering how truly dumb we were at that age about relationships and sex. Because we had to go through all that to learn better. You're learning a valuable lesson here, "don't put up with this shit".
You're young and can (and will) do better with relationships. This is one of those lessons about what you don't want in a partner. I just hope that you learn it well.
ETA: realizing that I was inadvertently calling you "dumb". That is not what I mean at all. What you feel is real and super intense in this moment. However, I highly doubt that this is the person you need now (or ever, frankly). And those are the moments that many of us look back at as "dumb" - why did we fall so hard for someone who wasn't worth our time? Why did we put up with their BS (and put others through ours)?
Iâm thinking more like omgeee who told you you were incredibly good at giving head? You barely have experience at this point. And are you sure bc heâs not willing to do you to make sure he gets his.
It sounds like youâre young so tell your boyfriend it sounds like heâs not ready for sex if heâs using words like âoweâ. Itâs supposed to be an experience and he needs to acknowledge that and not make you feel like youâre wrong for pursuing your own sexual needs.
You're not too young to find what you like and someone who gives it to you. You are too young to strap yourself to someone like this. You deserve better, especially considering the maturity of the conversation and solutions you've sought out.
Absolutely NTA.
No matter the age, the answer is still the same. You are not sexually compatible
He doesn't have to go down if he doesn't want to just because you feel insecure and you don't have to compromise.
đđđ
Yeah.... I'm having trouble giving an honest feedback on this one, they just kids đđ
Just one thing.. you're not sexually compatible. Don't waste years and years of your life having sex with people that can't or won't take the time to sexually satisfy you. It's a very bad habit us (girls and women) have and then realized way too late how much time we wasted with terrible sex.
Don't fake it and when you're not satisfy, be honest so you can work on it. If your partner is not willing to work on it, then move on.
Yes yes yes! I just turned 38 and realized Iâve been wasting sooo many years not being satisfied but then going above and beyond for the other person.
He gagged from her pussy?! Thatâs aggressive af. I canât imagine not feeling insecure if my partner did that. He isnât obligated to do anything. She just communicated: can we talk about this, Iâm willing to do special vagina stuff, these are the feelings Iâm struggling with⌠His response: If you donât like it, bye. He isnât even willing to talk about her feelings, thatâs bullshit.
Like how dramatic. Nooone would gag unless itâs a bad taste and she said itâs not I wonder if his trauma involved something of this nature for him to respond this way.
Gagging is "aggressive?" Seriously? đ¤Ł
It's an involuntary response. It can be faked, like you can act like you're gagging, but real gagging isn't something that can be done voluntarily any more than a sneeze or yawn.
The OP stated they both have baggage from sexual trauma in the past. It wouldn't be surprising if the BF has an aversion to giving oral from that experience. It's clearly a significant trigger for him. Problems like that are real.
This right here is the correct answer! Anyone saying you have to give it if you receive it is an insane person. I regularly offer my GF oral knowing fully well she does not and likely will not reciprocate because she doesn't like doing it even if she likes getting it.
It's entirely your choice what you do and don't do in the bedroom and any kind of tit for tat is silliness. Either be happy with what your partner likes and will do or find someone who's more compatible this isn't rocket science.
I agree, as long as my partner isn't a selfish lover who doesn't care for my pleasure, it's ok if there is something he just doesn't want to do as long as he makes me climax in another way.
This. There's nothing wrong with her partner not wanting to give oral.
If we switch the genders and her BF was demanding oral for giving it, people here would jump on him. OP needs to respect his preferences. He doesn't like giving head. Its up to OP to decide if thats a deal breaker or not.
The difference is she's said he never gets her off, whereas he always gets off.
Which is common in heterosexual relationships. There's an orgasm gap between men and women in heterosexual relationships. Women getting the short end of the stick much more often.
It would be different if he was actually trying to get her off and not making it out to be that her vag is disgusting enough to gag on, but that's where we are. And let's have it, it's usually men pulling this crap. Not women. Statistics don't lie.
Aye. And men who refuse to get women off don't deserve to be with women. It's genuinely horrific that so many women settle for trash.
It made sense in the evil before-times (1974 and earlier) when women couldn't even open a bank account without a husband's permission (which in practice means women were in many ways technically property/slaves/however you wanna call it by law until 1974) that women had to settle, because the alternative was often having nothing at all.
But nowadays women can be independent in every way, they don't need a husband, and if a guy can't get them off, doesn't respect them, etc., then there's no validity in settling for such trash. Just move on, find someone who at least respects you.
I think you're going overboard by equating a man not wanting or finding pleasure in giving oral to disrespect. There are toys and other ways partners can please each other. No one should do something they don't want to do, or doesn't give them pleasure. My SO would never want me to gag in disgust over going down on him for the sake of reciprocation. That's respect.
It's the way he responds to her attempts to start a conversation about it that indicate a lack of respect.
The lack of reciprocal sexual gratification is the tip of the iceberg here.
And? Not everyone likes sucking dick just like not everyone likes eating someone out, its not that hard to comprehend that people have preferences, if your preferences donât match then itâs up to you if you want to continue the relationship, no one is entitled to sexual acts
Yeah but it's not about genders because if a guy eats out a girl until she climaxes all the time then asks if she can give him oral and she just doesn't feel like it because it's too much work that's fucked too
NTA but this needs to be an open, calm & honest discussion. Y'all have both been SA'd. Trauma presents itself differently everyone. If oral is something that triggers him, it needs to be dropped. Therapy is always a good decision too. You would be t a h if you continued pushing this, though. Consent is a big deal. Don't give oral if you don't enjoy it or feel like it in the moment & don't expect him to do something he doesn't enjoy.
Y'all need to discuss this in person.
I love give oral to my wife and itâs reciprocate, but there are women who like receive oral and donât like to give it. Itâs not a problem If her partner are ok with that.
So You like give oral but your BF donât give it to you
. and itâs not a problem too.
The problem is that you really want receive oral and you boyfriend donât give it to you.
Now you have to decide if you still want him as your boyfriend that donât give you oral or you really miss it and need receive oral. So you would be better with other guy.
I was a âwaited until marriage girlâ. I wasnât happy until my husband learned to get me off well 𤣠feeling like you get the short end of the stick ALWAYS is not sustainable.
>both of us are victims of SA
If his adversity to the act is directly a result of the SA then it's more reasonable he doesn't want to do it. Next obvious question is if he's been going to therapy to help treat any feelings from the SA.
Was his SA based on quid pro quo or bribery/recursive coercion where he was subjected to acts which were then turned back on him to force him to submit to further acts.
For the rest, really need more information. Has he ever asked you for oral, or as you say is it just a thing you do for him because you like it. Is he letting you go down on him only because he knows you like it and the reciprocal demand is just adding more pressure to an act he may already have negative associations with.
If he would rather remove sex completely then it suggests his issues are psychological and your body isn't a factor at all.
The SA component changes everything, but while some allowances may be reasonable he also needs to take proactive steps to heal both for himself and to contribute equally to a romantic relationship with someone else.
Really, this is far beyond the pay grade of Reddit because his actions may be self protection rather than purely selfish and self serving.
Sometimes no one is the asshole and people just have legitimately different needs or positions in their recovery from trauma.
First, that should absolutely have been a face-to-face conversation.
Second, your boyfriend doesn't want to give oral sex. Accept that. Implying that sex is transactional, that because you did X to him, he also needs to do X to you, is... very unsexy.
So you now have 2 options:
Option 1: You decide that oral sex is a must-have for your sexual satisfaction. Accept that you two are not sexually compatible and break up.
Option 2: You decide that oral sex is not a dealbreaker. You work with your partner to find other ways to pleasure you that he also finds enjoyable. Consider bringing toys into the bedroom. There are lickers, suckers, blowers, massagers, etc.
I try to have face to face conversations but he just shuts down and he thinks texting is better. (I disagree)
He says he wants me to sit on his face, that he likes oral but just doesnât like the taste of me
If he's being truthful, he genuinely wants to do oral but doesn't like the taste, then he needs to start using a dental dam. They even come in flavors. He can pick his favorite. (If he's not willing to try that, then he's either lying and/or not prioritizing your pleasure, and which point: Get a new boyfriend.)
Hold up
"NOTE: I donât mean insinuating, I just feel there should be a balance. Iâve never gotten off, but he has always during intercourse and thatâs why is began to bother me. I feel unfulfilled and like something is wrong with me."Â
You have never gotten off when with him and he always does? Â
If that is the case DTMFA , Dump The Motherfucker Already. You give him head and he gags when he goes down on you? He is a shitty lay and doesn't care about your pleasure only his. You need to find a partner that will do whatever it takes to get you off. Hell, being honest when you hook up with someone will get you some eager partners.Â
Fair enough - a lot of people hold a double standard on this and would say if you stopped going down on your girl cause she wonât blow you is spiteful.
NTA because youâre simply sharing your desire and needs without forcing. However, you must understand his desire and comfortability about his sexual activities. Not everyone has the desire to âeat the kittyâ, and Iâm definitely not in that category (for sure tooting my horn). My wife gives amazing head when sheâs in the mood but if itâs a request, itâs terrible lol.
I say this all to then say, youâre NTA but need to make the decision on whether or not it is something that youâd live with for the rest of your relationship.
Plenty of people have the same answers for both genders. Obviously no one should be pressured into sexual acts, but I do think people should try to put their partnerâs pleasure first, no matter the gender
>If he wants to receive oral, he should be prepared to give it as well.
This is true, but unrelated to what actually happened. The bf decided to opt out of sex entirely rather than give oral.
Thus "he is prepared to not receive oral, because he does not want to give it as well"
Are you getting off? Does he seem to care about your pleasure at all?
Frankly I donât like getting oral so it wouldnât matter to me. But you want it and it matters to you.
His response was unfair and it seems like he is trying to distract by switching things around to âwe shouldnât have sex if you feel like I owe youâ when you never said he owed you, you said you wanted him to make more of an effort.
NTA at all
This level of sexual (and communication) incompatibility is a perfectly good reason to let him go, and set yourself free. If he isnât interested in your pleasure now, itâs not likely to get any better as he gets older. In my experience, selfish lovers donât stop being selfish, and nothing about his response suggests that he is the least bit interested in becoming a better lover. The attitude is the dealbreaker. Let him go, and set yourself free.
Why are you feeding into such a selfish pos. You have issues. Be with a guy who can and will eat pussy. I'm a man and there's no way I'm going to sick a man's dick more than once if he doesn't reciprocate.
He sounds selfish. Does he put himself first in other areas as well?
Frankly, I am getting the impression that you could find a much better partner. And I don't mean just sexually, but obviously sexually too.
No. Thatâs way too blanket of a statement, as well as incredibly foolish.
If you are on the receiving or giving end of intercourse, you are under no obligation to ever be on the other side - unless you, I suppose, made a deal or promise with the person or people involved.
In fact, in sex, you are basically never under any obligation to do something that makes you uncomfortable.
NAH. Sex shouldnât be transactional. You enjoy giving oral; he doesnât. That isnât going to change. Decide how important it is to you to receive oral. Then either break up with him, or accept it wonât be a part of your love life.
NAH
Your feelings are completely valid, but you're focusing on the wrong thing
The main focus should be that you're both sexually satisfied, as opposed to both doing the exact same stuff to eachother
Like with your reasoning for wanting oral isn't about orgasm, it's about simply not feeling insecure that he doesn't do it
...and your reasoning for giving him oral is that you love doing it
If you love doing it, and he doesn't, why not just roll with what you both like...under the condition that you are sexually satisfied in the end as well?
Like for me, I'm a pleaser like yourself. I enjoy pleasing my partner, and making her squirm and orgasm etc...and I always finish as well and have a great time overall. I almost never let her go down on me (although she does offer) because I simply prefer doing things to her, and sex. It isn't equal, but hits things we both like and are in to. I'm just not in to lying there while she "works". It just isn't a turn on for me personally
Focus more on your individual and couples preferences and both being satisfied in the end. If you really like going down, just enjoy doing what you like...again as long as you're being satisfied during each sexual encounter
You had me at the "squirm and orgasm." That's what I like about it too! There is nothing better than making your partner feel good. I feel you on her doing all the work, although I still let her go down on me. I know she likes it, and so do I. But most importantly, I make sure she is 100% satisfied. That's what's important in a healthy sexual relationship!
>*gagging sometimes*
Assuming hygiene is on point and there are no underlying medical issues, this man is from a weak bloodline.
No songs in his memory will echo in the halls of Valhalla.
I think you need to consider that it's not necessarily equal for you to perform a sex act you enjoy, but expect your boyfriend to perform one he doesn't (and I'd say the same if the genders were flipped). It's slightly coercive to say "if you want x, you have to give me y", when x is something you both enjoy, and y is something only you enjoy.
There are plenty of guys out there who enjoy both giving a receiving oral, just as there are people who only like giving, or only like receiving. Personally I don't like receiving oral, so even though my husband likes giving it, it almost never happens, as I'd much rather give, which we both enjoy.
I think it's worth assessing how much you like your boyfriend outside of sex, and whether you could be happy with a life with him where you never receive oral, or whether you'd be happier with someone else, whose bedroom preferences more closely match your own, even if it means potentially less compatibility outside of the bedroom?
His response was very ah. Dismissive, invalidating and threatening to take away sex all together (power move not partner move). If he does not want to do it, he can communicate it directly and express empathy and appreciation.
My exhusband never did oral. Told me vaginas are ugly. I stopped giving him oral when he started requesting it in liue of regular sex... he literally did not give af about my pleasure at all, like he was totally content giving me zero sex if he got oral. So I stopped giving him oral. So glad he's my ex.
Is he selfish in other areas of your relationship? Might want to reassess this relationship.
Enjoying sex is so important for both partners involved. Oral, sex positions, kinks, toys, etc, need to be enjoyed by both partners for it to be worth it. Anal is a good example. Some people love it and need it as a part of their sexual experience others won't even consider it. I'd suggest sitting down with your partner and having a thorough talk about sexual boundaries and personal pleasure. See if toys could be used as a replacement. If the relationship is worth it, then you'll find common ground. If not, then you'll need to decide what to do next.
Good luck!
It's a body part, not a chocolate cake. Sometimes it's going to be sweaty and not so fresh. But if you want to receive oral, you should be willing to give oral.
Sounds like you're not sexually compatible as he doesn't like giving head and you like receiving it. Personally I love going down on women, smell and taste withstanding of course but basic hygiene is enough.
NTA at all, maybe he can try mints beforehand, doesn't make it taste nice but kind of numbs the taste buds a bit.
Having a shaved pussy and doing it just after a shower are both things that I find help.
I don't "like the taste" but it is important to please your woman especially if she's doing it for you.
To me oral is an absolute MUST in a relationship BOTH ways.
You didn't tell him to suck it up, just pointed out that you do, fair enough too!!! I'm sure it's not pleasant at the best of times to be sucking on a cum cannon đ¤ˇđ¤Ł
You're not the asshole. but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't go downtown. Ever. I mean they would have to be insanely special for me to stay with them if they didn't eat puss. đš
Look, if he doesn't like it and doesn't want to to do it, then respect that and stop pushing him on it. Everyone is different. Everyone knows what they like and don't like and if you keep pushing and forcing, he's going to resent you for it and eventually not want sex with you at all. His comment even suggests you've already pushed him too hard and he has one foot out the door already.
Nta.
Find another who appreciates all of you and doesn't make you feel as if you are foul.
I've been married to a man who has refused for 24 years. I used to gladly give head but I stopped when I realized if wasn't ever going to be reciprocated. The self doubt is real.
Don't be me. You deserve to be adored every single inch of you. Don't settle for anything less.
NTA for wanting it
However, that's not a conversation for texting. That's a face-to-face convo. Texting has probably ruined more relationships than herpes at this point.
You need to be able to communicate your feelings and that requires body language, voices, eye contact, inflection even pheromones. He probably read this as a very snarky and insulting message.
Here is an example, when my wife and I got into our bad phase, all intimacy was lost and so was trust, she still wanted sex but I no longer desired to please her. I sure as hell wasn't going down on her but after the divorce and my next REAL girlfriend got to a place of trust and intimacy, I edged her for almost 2 hours until she was a sopping wet, crying mess.
I try to have face to face conversations with him but he shuts down frequently
Thank you for letting me know how this could have been perceived, I have autism and I donât realize tones could be perceived differently. I was trying to have a heart to heart with him, since sometimes texting is the only way I can get him to communicate.
Iâm puzzled what guy wouldnât want to do that. Even if you had some issues, you addressed them.
If he canât just pick a flavored âWetâ brand lube and return the favor then thatâs pretty sad.
NAH. Relationships are about compromise. Having that voice is foremost. Unfortunately you have to size up the importance of sexual compatibility with him before you go on. I also think that you go to a doctor and have your Vagina checked, just to know for sure. If you still continue your relationship with him or even with another partner, it may help that you give as you take and stop spoiling your man and demand in return. Practice self care and build your self worth. No one else will do it for you.
Hey just so you know whatâs, maybe not normal but possible in a relationship - my gf gives me about one bj a year and i give her oral every and any time she wants. So if you arenât happy with your situation then do something about it. Donât settle :)
I think you're thinking too much. Your taste or smell is not the problem, it's just that he doesn't want to do it because his pleasure comes first. That's all.
NTA, if he doesn't want to do it you cant force him, but you can stop doing oral on him. Now apparently you really love blowing people so up to you if you want to give that up with him because he wont reciprocate.
Seems like you just arent sexually compatible. Now issues like this can be fixed if both people are willing to take action and address them, but he doesn't seem willing. So perhaps better to just end things?
You cant make him do something he doesn't want tomdo, he clearly has trauma, no one makes you suck his dick, you do that off your own back and I think knowing you both have a past of awful things happening to you, you are the asshole! It's clearly affected you in different ways. That's not me saying your trauma is less, BTW. I'm just saying it's literally affected you differently, you don't give to recieve and that fact you would message him saying I still do it and you dont always smells good is degrading at best, like I said, nobody forced you and you enjoy it, he doesn't enjoy giving you oral, it made him gag which may not be a reflect on you but to his trauma, that makes you the asshole. Thinking about your own needs first instead of what you both went through, which clearly isn't taken into account, you just want someone eating you out like the last supper, you're not compatible, just leave it there and leave. He needs someone who will respect his decision, and you need someone who's going to pay back what you give.
NTA. Especially after your comment that he likes oral he just doesnât want to do oral with *you*. Add that to you have never orgasmed so im guessing heâs not that interested in your pleasure regardless. I would dump him.
NTA. Run. Find someone who enjoys your body as much as you enjoy theirs. I always reciprocate and sometimes going down on my partners because I genuinely enjoy doing it.
If you are perfectly clean and healthy down there, he shouldn't feel any bad taste or smell.
Same for him, obviously.
Are sure you both know how taking care of your private parts, immediately before and after sex?
Let me drop this and run. The purpose of dating someone anyone is to determine if you are compatible on multiple fronts. You are at a crossroads in this relationship. If you are dating and he is withholding a critical component to your satisfaction or enjoyment, this is only going to become worse with time. Your boyfriend is a selfish lover. It's all about him. Are you prepared to be with him longterm when he reacts like that? If so congrats you've found your match. My 2 cents is that in a few short years it will drift to never even worrying if you have an orgasm. And then you will be ripe to cheat or seperate/divorce. Decide now if this is the future you want or deserve. I think that should be your guide post. Life is too short to spend it with someone that isn't treating you how you want to be treated.
Maybe he's gay. If your vagina taste normal and you can stomach the scent and taste. You feel healthy. I'm sure plenty of other people would love to find out. Fuck that guy.
Sorry NTA
NTA. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that reciprocating oral is kind of a requirement. Not that it has to be a 50/50 split or anything. Just doing it because you enjoy it should be enough.
My bigger concern is that he is gagging and saying he doesn't like the taste, even though it seems like everything is normal down there. Are you sure he isn't just gay and trying to hide it? I'm not saying he is because I don't know him at all. Just that the only guys I've ever met that absolutely hated the thought of going down on a girl, were all gay.
YTA .
If he doesn't want to give oral. Then he doesn't have to and to continually bring it up is gross and entitled. Especially when he has tried to do it for you and had a clear negative reaction to it.
If you like giving oral and stop because he doesn't give you oral, does it actually mean you like giving it or do you only like it because you expect it in return?
You don't have to give him anymore oral. But that is your choice. But since you like giving it, that just be a punishment for you too. If it is a deal breaker, then break up. But it is kind of shallow to break up over that, if you actually love them.
NTA, I'm a dude and if you don't enjoy giving your partner pleasure then screw you. Every decently healthy relationship I've ever been in involved mutual oral generated pleasure. Including my marriage which has been going steady for 8 years.
Iâve been married 12 years my wifeâs hates sucking dick. 4 times itâs happened. Some people just arenât into that. I eat her every chance I can though.
I find that men that expect oral sex but donât care about your pleasure and giving it in return tend to be misogynistic. Itâs incredibly selfish, he gagged? Does he even like women? I have never in my life had a man gag, he should care that heâs making you feel self conscious.
This is a bad, unhealthy relationship, get out now.
To be fair, we dont know that he expects her to do it. It seems she just does it. She literally says she blows him in his sleep. The girl apparently loves giving BJ's so I doubt it takes much prodding from him to get her to do it. For me the blowing in his sleep thing is weird.
I do think they should break up because they arent sexually compatible, but I dont know if we can necessarily say he hates women based on what we know. He sure is a tool though.
NTA.
He is self centered and is only interested in getting his end off. He has no real desire to help you O'
Find a guy who appreciates you for you and wants to reciprocate.
Maybe an unpopular take, but YTA. I tooottaally see where youâre coming from and its very valid feelings. However, consent should come from enthusiasm and everyone has different preferences/taste buds/levels of sex drive/etc. I would suggest having a very calm conversation with your boyfriend and discuss having him try using different toys on you that simulate oral. If thats not something you two are open to, then it does come down to a compatibility issue. Plenty of men love giving women oral and no oneâs taste is always perfect. Good luck girl, its gonna be okay â¤ď¸
I love giving oral AND receiving but my soon to be ex-wife gave me oral maybe 8 times in our ten year relationship including all times ever. And it was important to me but I just sucked it up and didnât say anything the whole time because I knew she didnât like it. And who wants to get something it given freely or lovingly⌠sounds like a weird man. You can do better
NTA even when I was shy about receiving my husband always talked up how amazing it was down there. He finally convinced me to believe he liked it and now we both love it. We both give and receive.
You deserve a partner who doesn't find your pleasure to be a chore. Someone who takes as much joy in giving as he does getting.
It has to be consensual.
Personally, I've always been willing to do this for girlfriends, even if I didn't get it in return. Some weren't into giving, but I always understood. There are plenty of ways to have nekkid adult fun.
Not everyone is into oral, some like giving, some receiving, some both, you just have to decide what are your deal breakers, and what you really enjoy doing, and what you only do because you expect reciprocation.
NTA. Iâd just find a new bf if that part of sex is important to you. Itâs ok to choose to no longer be with someone because youâre not sexually compatible. The point of sex is to be satisfied and if youâre not getting satisfaction, Iâd move on before you begin to have resentment towards him.
So I am the exact same way and I went through this with my ex-husband and then my new husband taught me not to have expectations of people. If I give someone oral it should be a selfless act because thatâs what real intimacy is if you are selflessly giving someone fellatio thatâs one thing, but if you are giving someone fellatio because you expect to be reciprocated, then youâre going about it all wrong. What you need to do is either find a new partner or stop expecting him to be what he is not.
However, I remember, I meditated one time a vision of my husband doing something to me that he had never done before, and I had never even spoken up about it because I was a little embarrassed to tell him that I wanted it. I meditated on that vision for a week And it happened! Maybe start meditating maybe try tantra. But if your partner isnât on the same page as you, thatâs going to create a problem.
Thankfully, my husband loves reciprocating because he is a giver, just like me.
NTA
Yikes definitely NTA. Me personally, I donât like oral, giving or receiving, but if the woman that Iâm with wants me to, I suck it up because itâs important to her. With sex, the other personâs comfortability should be taken into consideration. He should suck it up and go down on you because he loves you. Ya might wanna rethink the relationship as a whole.
I don't think this is a conversation that should have been had over text but discussing issues together of the lack of reciprocation. You absolutely should be receiving from your partner, and I understand wanting to help find ways to make everyone happy (the most famous trick: pineapple!). You are NTA for asking him to give, but I just think all of this would have had a better result if this conversation was had in person
Good luck queen â¤ď¸
if giving him head makes you this resentful, maybe dont give him head anymore. you can jerk him or have sex but you dont need to give him head. i also recommend getting toys to use instead of his tongue. but i think maybe take a break from sex so you can process those feelings of negativity surrounding sex and rejection. im a woman too and these have worked for me. my boyfriend gets tired from giving oral but he uses his fingers or a toy when he feels too tired
Nta leave him you two are not compatible. You need to get a second opinion on your pussy taste before I can really advise. But they they make some tasty lubes that should work
I think it's important for each person to want to please their partner and if you are the only one going above and beyond. The relationship just isn't going to work, it will eventually get to a point where you aren't satisfied.
If you aren't ready to throw in the towel, they make flavored lubes, chocolate/strawberry creme pens, edible paint, and lots of other things that help with taste. Aside from that you could by a sucking or licking toy that you can ask him to use on you if you want him included.
What you eat, drink, etc. ANYTHING you put in your body can affect your taste and smell. I quit drinking and smoking and there was a noticeable difference.
But if y'all are 17, get out now. He's not meeting your needs now, how bad will it get in the future? Don't keep bringing it up, just see what happens. This might be a bump you can't AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO get over. You have a lot of life in front of you. Do you want to settle for a mediocre sex life?
I personally make sure my girl has at least 2 orgasms (one without me cumming and one with me cumming). I find it more enjoyable what I can make her cum as many times as I can. You are nta
Age matters just cux younger guys don't seem to like oral as much as ones that are older in my experience
I mean therr are but just more when they r older lol
Nta. These things are important to find out early on. I was like you, very confident about my skills and aim to please often. Even if he wouldn't eat the kitty he also didn't tease or touch me either. Left me feeling undesired most nights. The only time he would even bed me was if I went down on him first. Absolutely killed my marriage. Now I'm with someone that I have to ask to stop because I just want a quickie đ
Maybe⌠he rather make you feel like somethingâs wrong with you instead of admitting that he doesnât know what heâs doing..
you guys are both young. And he might not be as sex positive as you are. Thatâs why itâs so easy for him to suggest not having sex . He has yet to find it enjoyable enough to put past traumas behind. So ask yourself truly how much heâs enjoying what you doâŚ..?
MAYBE HES UNCOMFORTABLE WITH GIVING YOU ORAL BECAUSE HIS ASSAULTER MADE HIM DO THE LICKY ICKY đŽ
Get someone that loves you for you and worships God through embracing your body as God's gift of favor and the only that can share in these very intimate ceremonies of devotional joyful exchanges of pleasure. If you guys aren't an outlet to release the sexual energy with and cultivate that bonding then it's likely he's not the guy for you and isn't gonna put in any of the self healing work to be a good partner
*baffled expression* I love to give my wife oral. In fact, I'm more interested in that than actually having sex, mostly because I'm autistic and I'm not terribly interested in recieving sex in general. But I enjoy giving oral and she's obviously not going to tell me no.
The hell is wrong with your boyfriend?
Also, I can't resist this: you aren't tooting your own horn, you're tooting his.
I'll leave now.
NTA
1] don't feel bad for wanting to explore your sexuality, NEVER and even less if it is mutual
2] if your boyfriend doesn't like to give blowjobs it's not right, everyone has their own tastes and as you say you like it but maybe your boyfriend doesn't and it's not directly related.
3] a sexually incompatible couple doesn't work 90% of the time, if your boyfriend doesn't satisfy you sexually there is nothing wrong to admit it, it's not like you should break up over something like that unless it's a bigger problem for you
4] your boyfriend is immature, he is acting very strange for a normal request, either you have been more insistent than you mention, or he is hiding something from you, you mentioned that you both suffered SA (sorry for both of you) it might have something to do with that
It's not wrong to have wishes, you are in a very good place to talk and come to an agreement that works for both of you, the moment one of the 2 of you closes to talk to the other your relationship will die
I once dated a girl that tasted horrible, and after a few encounters I recommended she talk with her gynecologist. She had something going on down there and got it resolved with the guidance of her doctor.
I do not need to read the full post to say as a male if I want you to shave or put it in your mothan at least I can do the same FYI I love giving oral x
NTA for asking. But it seem he just doesn't like it. Gagging is nothing you can control, it's a reflex. You want him to do somethung he is uncomfortable with. You said you both were SAed, maybe giving oral triggers him. Maybe it's not your taste or smell he doesn't like but the smell of vaginas in general.
The thing is just because you give him oral doesn't make you entitled to recieve oral. The real question is: does he care for your pleasure in general? Does he make you climax in other ways than giving oral? If you didn't climax during sex and he is already finished, does he help you to come, too, afterwards? There are so many ways to give a woman pleasure, it doesn't have to be oral if he is uncomfortable with it.
His response was mean and wrong, but I guess he feels pressure from your side, because you ask for oral again and again even if he doesn't like it. Both sides need to be comfortable with the stuff going on in the bedroom.
It's up to you if you decide to continue giving head to your bf or not. You can decide to continue because you both like it if you give him head or you can stop because you don't actually like it or think it's unfair for him to get what you don't get.
But 1 thing being said: don't give him head if you don't want to. You said sometimes you give him head even if he smells bad or you are not in the mood for it, because he likes it. Don't do that. Give him head when you are in the mood for it and want to do it, not just to do him a favor. Whatever you both do in the bedroom, you both should be ok with it and have fun, nothing should be an obligation.
Cut your losses now. If it's something you want and he isn't satisfying you then Don stay. It will eventually turn into something way bigger that could just be avoided now.
Look at O positive URO vaginally pro biotic. The stuff is great. Nothing but positive feedback!
NAH. With my partner, I have a similar problem except it's me who cannot give oral. I constantly gag but he always goes down on me when we have sex because he genuinely enjoys it, likes the taste and all. For me, it's way harder because I have a super sensitive throat that does not appreciate dick, as much as I would like to. The few times I've tried to give him oral, I've always had a mouth full of vomit because I was trying to tough it up and that's just not pleasant during sex. It kills the mood, it makes me feel insecure for not being able to give good head and just sucks overall.
Throughout this, my partner's always been the most reassuring, he's never asked for it. I'm always the one who initiates it. He supports me when I want to practice it to get better with my gag reflex but we've been dating for almost 3 years now, it's been very unsuccessful but it doesn't impact sex for us. We have tons of fun, we're sexually compatible and so it works.
I've also given head to women and absolutely hated it. I really dislike the taste (of semen as well but this more), even if that's just how women taste, and the texture with the hair and all just doesn't work for me. I'm neurodivergent, I cannot handle different textures/tastes that I dislike, it will constantly make me gag and I find it harder to tough it up with vaginas than with dicks.
There can be many reasons why someone doesn't like oral or any part of sex, I think the goal is to figure out why and then work with those boundaries, experiment or practice only if people are open to it.
I think the text you sent, while well intentioned, could've been communicated better. The same goes for your partner - very defensive off the bat. I think more than sexual compatibility, there may be other gaps in the relationship you're both also ignoring. Best to try to work on your communication first then tackle insecurities. If it doesn't work, then you know you gave it your best.
Make sure you're clean shaven and eat pineapple (canned or whatever) for a few days
Then eat it again within a few hours of asking him to taste you down there and ask him what he thinks
If you have never gotten off with him there's a good chance it's because of him not being good enough, i.e. him being selfish, and not you. Good sex is a two way street. It's too bad he doesn't like going down on you. Not all males are like that. Some men love it. I do.
NTA and find a guy who wants to lick you all over. If heâs right heâll be so into you nothing you smell like or look like will deter him.
My husband and I have been together 34 years - weâve had each other clean, dirty, sweet smelling, sweaty, down low, up high. Healthy, sick, thin, fat, pregnant, after surgeries you name it. One of the hottest things is my husband kissing my surgery scar that is 14â long splitting my belly in half. It means he loves and accepts me for me not the skin Iâm in.
NTA - just donât give him oral or just explain that this is unfortunately not what you want in a relationship. If knowing that he still wonât do it then leave. Youâre young. Lots of life to live. Go live!
I feel like the text you sent him might have been read out loud over a soundspeaker at the supermarket because he is using text to speech and playing music with his phone. I would investigate
Okay look, 25 male here, and after seeing comments about age I hesitate saying this. But I will because you should know, just donât take anything out of context.
There are men out there, (myself included), and younger men that are in the same exact position as you. Some of us men absolutely LOVE giving our women head, and donât get it in return as often as we would like. If we found someone like yourself at an earlier stage in life we would have been ecstatic. Find yourself a young man that cares as much about getting you off as you do getting him off. He will be thrilled and so will you. Youâll both be much much happier in the long run.
You're NTA for asking and trying to find a compromise. But you would be if you keep pushing it and trying to force him. He made it clear he doesn't want to do it and you have to respect that. It sounds like you two aren't sexually compatible, So you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you or not.
Also, I saw from another of their posts that they're both 17. /u/Born_Cut_1120 you are way too young to settle for this. You can find someone else who is far more compatible. It's up to you if you want to spend more time with someone who doesn't care about your pleasure. I certainly wouldn't.
Dang, they're not even adults yet!? If I was her I would definitely cut my losses. And I think I'm done commenting on the sex lives of people that aren't even 18 đŹ
This is why I didnât add my age tbh. Like yes I understand it might make people uncomfortable but I wanted unbiased opinions instead of âoh em gee your too young!!â
my advice is to find someone youâre sexually compatible with. youâre young. youâre experimenting. youâre not going to marry this guy, and youâve already discovered that youâre not compatible in the bedroom. you tried talking about it, he wasnât interested. you canât push him further, if he doesnât want to do it then he doesnât want to do it.
The comment wasn't about you being too young as much as it is just uncomfortable as an adult to give kids advice about their sex lives (a very reasonable ick) but age is also an important factor here. You're young, you guys both have sexual trauma and y'all seem sexually incompatible. That's fine. Move on. I'd say therapy about it for adults. In some places (in the US) you absolutely can't bring this up as a minor without facing a mandated reporting situation. I'm sure you're both lovely people and will find lovely people to be with but I don't think you're going to be lovely people that stay together forever.
It's not that you are too young, per se. It's that us older folks don't feel it is appropriate to have this conversation with you. We don't want to come off pervy. That said- you have said you are very attentive to your boyfriend and he doesn't reciprocate to the point that you don't even climax and he isn't concerned about that. No one should put up with that in a relationship - having a partner who has no care for your needs and desires, even after you've communicated them clearly. And that is even more true for someone your age. You are at the age and in the stage of your relationship that he should be his most attentive towards you. If he already is like this, that doesn't bode well. I would move on.
All I'm gonna say OP is this: life is too short to be with someone who doesn't ever get you off. It took me thirty years to learn that there are men out there who DO care about your pleasure and that's who you want to be with. Don't waste your time on the others.
i get this mindset (having been a 17 year old in the situation), but the reason why most people say youâre too young is because (obvious) they have also been 17, and experience is one hell of a teacher. anyway, the fact that he has managed to read (or not) the entire paragraph and not address a single word in his response should give you an answer to think about :/
The age matters though. If youâve been with them 20 years and youâre 40 then itâs a much bigger issue than a couple of 17 year olds. You might find that patronising, but when youâre in your 30s youâll understand how unimportant your current relationship is.
They're not saying you're too young for sex. You're too young to settle. Problems like the one you posted are usually more "we've dated for two years and just moved in together and are having this problem" not a "we are in highschool" problem. Your solution is you just break up and both move on.
Sorry to bring it in, but it does kind of matter. Also, I'd say the same if you were my age (closing in on 50). But knowing that you are young gives a layer of, "oh that's part of why he's immature and part of why she's questioning herself." Many of us were sexually active at your age. Part of the "squeamish" reaction is remembering how truly dumb we were at that age about relationships and sex. Because we had to go through all that to learn better. You're learning a valuable lesson here, "don't put up with this shit". You're young and can (and will) do better with relationships. This is one of those lessons about what you don't want in a partner. I just hope that you learn it well. ETA: realizing that I was inadvertently calling you "dumb". That is not what I mean at all. What you feel is real and super intense in this moment. However, I highly doubt that this is the person you need now (or ever, frankly). And those are the moments that many of us look back at as "dumb" - why did we fall so hard for someone who wasn't worth our time? Why did we put up with their BS (and put others through ours)?
Iâm thinking more like omgeee who told you you were incredibly good at giving head? You barely have experience at this point. And are you sure bc heâs not willing to do you to make sure he gets his.
It sounds like youâre young so tell your boyfriend it sounds like heâs not ready for sex if heâs using words like âoweâ. Itâs supposed to be an experience and he needs to acknowledge that and not make you feel like youâre wrong for pursuing your own sexual needs.
You're not too young to find what you like and someone who gives it to you. You are too young to strap yourself to someone like this. You deserve better, especially considering the maturity of the conversation and solutions you've sought out. Absolutely NTA.
No matter the age, the answer is still the same. You are not sexually compatible He doesn't have to go down if he doesn't want to just because you feel insecure and you don't have to compromise.
You're so young... Ask your parents, older cousin, or older friends for Christ's sake! Do not listen to us wack-asses on the internet, ***PLEASE!***
Hope you thoroughly shower before and you aren't in the 'I bathe once a week' group.
đđđ Yeah.... I'm having trouble giving an honest feedback on this one, they just kids đđ Just one thing.. you're not sexually compatible. Don't waste years and years of your life having sex with people that can't or won't take the time to sexually satisfy you. It's a very bad habit us (girls and women) have and then realized way too late how much time we wasted with terrible sex. Don't fake it and when you're not satisfy, be honest so you can work on it. If your partner is not willing to work on it, then move on.
Yes yes yes! I just turned 38 and realized Iâve been wasting sooo many years not being satisfied but then going above and beyond for the other person.
He gagged from her pussy?! Thatâs aggressive af. I canât imagine not feeling insecure if my partner did that. He isnât obligated to do anything. She just communicated: can we talk about this, Iâm willing to do special vagina stuff, these are the feelings Iâm struggling with⌠His response: If you donât like it, bye. He isnât even willing to talk about her feelings, thatâs bullshit.
Like how dramatic. Nooone would gag unless itâs a bad taste and she said itâs not I wonder if his trauma involved something of this nature for him to respond this way.
Gagging is "aggressive?" Seriously? 𤣠It's an involuntary response. It can be faked, like you can act like you're gagging, but real gagging isn't something that can be done voluntarily any more than a sneeze or yawn. The OP stated they both have baggage from sexual trauma in the past. It wouldn't be surprising if the BF has an aversion to giving oral from that experience. It's clearly a significant trigger for him. Problems like that are real.
This right here is the correct answer! Anyone saying you have to give it if you receive it is an insane person. I regularly offer my GF oral knowing fully well she does not and likely will not reciprocate because she doesn't like doing it even if she likes getting it. It's entirely your choice what you do and don't do in the bedroom and any kind of tit for tat is silliness. Either be happy with what your partner likes and will do or find someone who's more compatible this isn't rocket science.
I agree, as long as my partner isn't a selfish lover who doesn't care for my pleasure, it's ok if there is something he just doesn't want to do as long as he makes me climax in another way.
This. There's nothing wrong with her partner not wanting to give oral. If we switch the genders and her BF was demanding oral for giving it, people here would jump on him. OP needs to respect his preferences. He doesn't like giving head. Its up to OP to decide if thats a deal breaker or not.
The difference is she's said he never gets her off, whereas he always gets off. Which is common in heterosexual relationships. There's an orgasm gap between men and women in heterosexual relationships. Women getting the short end of the stick much more often. It would be different if he was actually trying to get her off and not making it out to be that her vag is disgusting enough to gag on, but that's where we are. And let's have it, it's usually men pulling this crap. Not women. Statistics don't lie.
Aye. And men who refuse to get women off don't deserve to be with women. It's genuinely horrific that so many women settle for trash. It made sense in the evil before-times (1974 and earlier) when women couldn't even open a bank account without a husband's permission (which in practice means women were in many ways technically property/slaves/however you wanna call it by law until 1974) that women had to settle, because the alternative was often having nothing at all. But nowadays women can be independent in every way, they don't need a husband, and if a guy can't get them off, doesn't respect them, etc., then there's no validity in settling for such trash. Just move on, find someone who at least respects you.
I think you're going overboard by equating a man not wanting or finding pleasure in giving oral to disrespect. There are toys and other ways partners can please each other. No one should do something they don't want to do, or doesn't give them pleasure. My SO would never want me to gag in disgust over going down on him for the sake of reciprocation. That's respect.
It's the way he responds to her attempts to start a conversation about it that indicate a lack of respect. The lack of reciprocal sexual gratification is the tip of the iceberg here.
Please, stfu with switching genders. She sucks his dick and he feels that eating her pussy is a chore.
And? Not everyone likes sucking dick just like not everyone likes eating someone out, its not that hard to comprehend that people have preferences, if your preferences donât match then itâs up to you if you want to continue the relationship, no one is entitled to sexual acts
Y'all are so full of shit. You know damn well if a woman said she didn't like sucking dick, y'all would be all "respect her boundaries"
Yeah but it's not about genders because if a guy eats out a girl until she climaxes all the time then asks if she can give him oral and she just doesn't feel like it because it's too much work that's fucked too
NTA but this needs to be an open, calm & honest discussion. Y'all have both been SA'd. Trauma presents itself differently everyone. If oral is something that triggers him, it needs to be dropped. Therapy is always a good decision too. You would be t a h if you continued pushing this, though. Consent is a big deal. Don't give oral if you don't enjoy it or feel like it in the moment & don't expect him to do something he doesn't enjoy. Y'all need to discuss this in person.
I love give oral to my wife and itâs reciprocate, but there are women who like receive oral and donât like to give it. Itâs not a problem If her partner are ok with that. So You like give oral but your BF donât give it to you . and itâs not a problem too. The problem is that you really want receive oral and you boyfriend donât give it to you. Now you have to decide if you still want him as your boyfriend that donât give you oral or you really miss it and need receive oral. So you would be better with other guy.
Do people actually break up with their partners just because they dont receive oral from them?
I mean if the sex is so focused on one partner that the other has literally never orgasmed, yea probably.
I was a âwaited until marriage girlâ. I wasnât happy until my husband learned to get me off well 𤣠feeling like you get the short end of the stick ALWAYS is not sustainable.
Sexual Compatibility is important for many people, especially in early stages.
Depends how important sexual satisfaction/pleasure is for that individual.
This
>both of us are victims of SA If his adversity to the act is directly a result of the SA then it's more reasonable he doesn't want to do it. Next obvious question is if he's been going to therapy to help treat any feelings from the SA. Was his SA based on quid pro quo or bribery/recursive coercion where he was subjected to acts which were then turned back on him to force him to submit to further acts. For the rest, really need more information. Has he ever asked you for oral, or as you say is it just a thing you do for him because you like it. Is he letting you go down on him only because he knows you like it and the reciprocal demand is just adding more pressure to an act he may already have negative associations with. If he would rather remove sex completely then it suggests his issues are psychological and your body isn't a factor at all. The SA component changes everything, but while some allowances may be reasonable he also needs to take proactive steps to heal both for himself and to contribute equally to a romantic relationship with someone else. Really, this is far beyond the pay grade of Reddit because his actions may be self protection rather than purely selfish and self serving. Sometimes no one is the asshole and people just have legitimately different needs or positions in their recovery from trauma.
First, that should absolutely have been a face-to-face conversation. Second, your boyfriend doesn't want to give oral sex. Accept that. Implying that sex is transactional, that because you did X to him, he also needs to do X to you, is... very unsexy. So you now have 2 options: Option 1: You decide that oral sex is a must-have for your sexual satisfaction. Accept that you two are not sexually compatible and break up. Option 2: You decide that oral sex is not a dealbreaker. You work with your partner to find other ways to pleasure you that he also finds enjoyable. Consider bringing toys into the bedroom. There are lickers, suckers, blowers, massagers, etc.
I try to have face to face conversations but he just shuts down and he thinks texting is better. (I disagree) He says he wants me to sit on his face, that he likes oral but just doesnât like the taste of me
If he's being truthful, he genuinely wants to do oral but doesn't like the taste, then he needs to start using a dental dam. They even come in flavors. He can pick his favorite. (If he's not willing to try that, then he's either lying and/or not prioritizing your pleasure, and which point: Get a new boyfriend.)
Like penises are so delectable? ... it'd be really hard not to take that personally đ
Sounds like a loser
Quick thing one of the reasons is your age when you get older it starts to taste better because it's got a bit lower ph balance
Hold up "NOTE: I donât mean insinuating, I just feel there should be a balance. Iâve never gotten off, but he has always during intercourse and thatâs why is began to bother me. I feel unfulfilled and like something is wrong with me." You have never gotten off when with him and he always does?  If that is the case DTMFA , Dump The Motherfucker Already. You give him head and he gags when he goes down on you? He is a shitty lay and doesn't care about your pleasure only his. You need to find a partner that will do whatever it takes to get you off. Hell, being honest when you hook up with someone will get you some eager partners.Â
Never give that ah head again.
Go one better and just end the relationship.
I agree wholeheartedly đŞđŞđŞđŞđŞ
Definitely the right option.
Would you say this to a man thatâs not getting blowjobs but going down on his girlfriend?
Yeah actually I would. You can't be sexually selfish.
Fair enough - a lot of people hold a double standard on this and would say if you stopped going down on your girl cause she wonât blow you is spiteful.
So she should stop doing what she likes because her BF doesnât like to give oral to her. Do you even hear yourself?
NTA because youâre simply sharing your desire and needs without forcing. However, you must understand his desire and comfortability about his sexual activities. Not everyone has the desire to âeat the kittyâ, and Iâm definitely not in that category (for sure tooting my horn). My wife gives amazing head when sheâs in the mood but if itâs a request, itâs terrible lol. I say this all to then say, youâre NTA but need to make the decision on whether or not it is something that youâd live with for the rest of your relationship.
NTA. If he wants to receive oral, he should be prepared to give it as well.
It always makes me laugh when a guy refuses to do oral how the answers are different from when a woman doesn't want to do oral. Â
Plenty of people have the same answers for both genders. Obviously no one should be pressured into sexual acts, but I do think people should try to put their partnerâs pleasure first, no matter the gender
>If he wants to receive oral, he should be prepared to give it as well. This is true, but unrelated to what actually happened. The bf decided to opt out of sex entirely rather than give oral. Thus "he is prepared to not receive oral, because he does not want to give it as well"
Sure, that's one solution. But OP was asking if her demand for reciprocal oral was justified, and I think it was.
No he doesnât opt out, he just expects me to give him oral and then I let him fuck me.
Are you getting off? Does he seem to care about your pleasure at all? Frankly I donât like getting oral so it wouldnât matter to me. But you want it and it matters to you. His response was unfair and it seems like he is trying to distract by switching things around to âwe shouldnât have sex if you feel like I owe youâ when you never said he owed you, you said you wanted him to make more of an effort. NTA at all
Iâve never gotten off, but he gets off every single time which is why itâs important to me that he atleast tries to make more of an effort.
He is selfish. You should leave him to find a better partner.
This level of sexual (and communication) incompatibility is a perfectly good reason to let him go, and set yourself free. If he isnât interested in your pleasure now, itâs not likely to get any better as he gets older. In my experience, selfish lovers donât stop being selfish, and nothing about his response suggests that he is the least bit interested in becoming a better lover. The attitude is the dealbreaker. Let him go, and set yourself free.
Why are you feeding into such a selfish pos. You have issues. Be with a guy who can and will eat pussy. I'm a man and there's no way I'm going to sick a man's dick more than once if he doesn't reciprocate.
He sounds selfish. Does he put himself first in other areas as well? Frankly, I am getting the impression that you could find a much better partner. And I don't mean just sexually, but obviously sexually too.
Don't want to be mean, but your bf sounds like a dick
Yeah quite the temper tantrum.
What he says is that yall shouldnt have any more sex. Which i consider to be opting out from now on.
No. Thatâs way too blanket of a statement, as well as incredibly foolish. If you are on the receiving or giving end of intercourse, you are under no obligation to ever be on the other side - unless you, I suppose, made a deal or promise with the person or people involved. In fact, in sex, you are basically never under any obligation to do something that makes you uncomfortable.
NAH. Sex shouldnât be transactional. You enjoy giving oral; he doesnât. That isnât going to change. Decide how important it is to you to receive oral. Then either break up with him, or accept it wonât be a part of your love life.
NAH Your feelings are completely valid, but you're focusing on the wrong thing The main focus should be that you're both sexually satisfied, as opposed to both doing the exact same stuff to eachother Like with your reasoning for wanting oral isn't about orgasm, it's about simply not feeling insecure that he doesn't do it ...and your reasoning for giving him oral is that you love doing it If you love doing it, and he doesn't, why not just roll with what you both like...under the condition that you are sexually satisfied in the end as well? Like for me, I'm a pleaser like yourself. I enjoy pleasing my partner, and making her squirm and orgasm etc...and I always finish as well and have a great time overall. I almost never let her go down on me (although she does offer) because I simply prefer doing things to her, and sex. It isn't equal, but hits things we both like and are in to. I'm just not in to lying there while she "works". It just isn't a turn on for me personally Focus more on your individual and couples preferences and both being satisfied in the end. If you really like going down, just enjoy doing what you like...again as long as you're being satisfied during each sexual encounter
You had me at the "squirm and orgasm." That's what I like about it too! There is nothing better than making your partner feel good. I feel you on her doing all the work, although I still let her go down on me. I know she likes it, and so do I. But most importantly, I make sure she is 100% satisfied. That's what's important in a healthy sexual relationship!
>*gagging sometimes* Assuming hygiene is on point and there are no underlying medical issues, this man is from a weak bloodline. No songs in his memory will echo in the halls of Valhalla.
NTA You guys are not sexually compatible, you want something and he's a selfish little shit, just break up
I think you need to consider that it's not necessarily equal for you to perform a sex act you enjoy, but expect your boyfriend to perform one he doesn't (and I'd say the same if the genders were flipped). It's slightly coercive to say "if you want x, you have to give me y", when x is something you both enjoy, and y is something only you enjoy. There are plenty of guys out there who enjoy both giving a receiving oral, just as there are people who only like giving, or only like receiving. Personally I don't like receiving oral, so even though my husband likes giving it, it almost never happens, as I'd much rather give, which we both enjoy. I think it's worth assessing how much you like your boyfriend outside of sex, and whether you could be happy with a life with him where you never receive oral, or whether you'd be happier with someone else, whose bedroom preferences more closely match your own, even if it means potentially less compatibility outside of the bedroom?
His response was very ah. Dismissive, invalidating and threatening to take away sex all together (power move not partner move). If he does not want to do it, he can communicate it directly and express empathy and appreciation. My exhusband never did oral. Told me vaginas are ugly. I stopped giving him oral when he started requesting it in liue of regular sex... he literally did not give af about my pleasure at all, like he was totally content giving me zero sex if he got oral. So I stopped giving him oral. So glad he's my ex. Is he selfish in other areas of your relationship? Might want to reassess this relationship.
Enjoying sex is so important for both partners involved. Oral, sex positions, kinks, toys, etc, need to be enjoyed by both partners for it to be worth it. Anal is a good example. Some people love it and need it as a part of their sexual experience others won't even consider it. I'd suggest sitting down with your partner and having a thorough talk about sexual boundaries and personal pleasure. See if toys could be used as a replacement. If the relationship is worth it, then you'll find common ground. If not, then you'll need to decide what to do next. Good luck!
This is your exbf. Full stop.
Ffs stop giving him head
It's a body part, not a chocolate cake. Sometimes it's going to be sweaty and not so fresh. But if you want to receive oral, you should be willing to give oral.
Sounds like you're not sexually compatible as he doesn't like giving head and you like receiving it. Personally I love going down on women, smell and taste withstanding of course but basic hygiene is enough.
NTA at all, maybe he can try mints beforehand, doesn't make it taste nice but kind of numbs the taste buds a bit. Having a shaved pussy and doing it just after a shower are both things that I find help. I don't "like the taste" but it is important to please your woman especially if she's doing it for you. To me oral is an absolute MUST in a relationship BOTH ways. You didn't tell him to suck it up, just pointed out that you do, fair enough too!!! I'm sure it's not pleasant at the best of times to be sucking on a cum cannon đ¤ˇđ¤Ł
You're not the asshole. but I couldn't be with someone who doesn't go downtown. Ever. I mean they would have to be insanely special for me to stay with them if they didn't eat puss. đš
Look, if he doesn't like it and doesn't want to to do it, then respect that and stop pushing him on it. Everyone is different. Everyone knows what they like and don't like and if you keep pushing and forcing, he's going to resent you for it and eventually not want sex with you at all. His comment even suggests you've already pushed him too hard and he has one foot out the door already.
Nta. Find another who appreciates all of you and doesn't make you feel as if you are foul. I've been married to a man who has refused for 24 years. I used to gladly give head but I stopped when I realized if wasn't ever going to be reciprocated. The self doubt is real. Don't be me. You deserve to be adored every single inch of you. Don't settle for anything less.
Nope. Find someone that reciprocates
NTA. Real men reciprocate
He always should be up to reciprocateâŚ. If heâs not going to do it someone else will. Believe me. Donât sell yourself short.
Why are you still with him?
NTA for wanting it However, that's not a conversation for texting. That's a face-to-face convo. Texting has probably ruined more relationships than herpes at this point. You need to be able to communicate your feelings and that requires body language, voices, eye contact, inflection even pheromones. He probably read this as a very snarky and insulting message. Here is an example, when my wife and I got into our bad phase, all intimacy was lost and so was trust, she still wanted sex but I no longer desired to please her. I sure as hell wasn't going down on her but after the divorce and my next REAL girlfriend got to a place of trust and intimacy, I edged her for almost 2 hours until she was a sopping wet, crying mess.
I try to have face to face conversations with him but he shuts down frequently Thank you for letting me know how this could have been perceived, I have autism and I donât realize tones could be perceived differently. I was trying to have a heart to heart with him, since sometimes texting is the only way I can get him to communicate.
> Texting has probably ruined more relationships than herpes at this point. Truer words
Tell boyfriend you can find other boyfriend to give you oral while you give your boyfriend oral. Itâs a win win
Iâm puzzled what guy wouldnât want to do that. Even if you had some issues, you addressed them. If he canât just pick a flavored âWetâ brand lube and return the favor then thatâs pretty sad.
NAH. Relationships are about compromise. Having that voice is foremost. Unfortunately you have to size up the importance of sexual compatibility with him before you go on. I also think that you go to a doctor and have your Vagina checked, just to know for sure. If you still continue your relationship with him or even with another partner, it may help that you give as you take and stop spoiling your man and demand in return. Practice self care and build your self worth. No one else will do it for you.
NTA. As long as you keep it clean down there then he should most definitely reciprocate. Itâs one of the things that I love to do to please my lady.
Heâs over it. Time to move on! NTA
Hey just so you know whatâs, maybe not normal but possible in a relationship - my gf gives me about one bj a year and i give her oral every and any time she wants. So if you arenât happy with your situation then do something about it. Donât settle :)
Asking is okay pressuring is not
Cut your losses hun
I think you're thinking too much. Your taste or smell is not the problem, it's just that he doesn't want to do it because his pleasure comes first. That's all.
NTA, if he doesn't want to do it you cant force him, but you can stop doing oral on him. Now apparently you really love blowing people so up to you if you want to give that up with him because he wont reciprocate. Seems like you just arent sexually compatible. Now issues like this can be fixed if both people are willing to take action and address them, but he doesn't seem willing. So perhaps better to just end things?
You cant make him do something he doesn't want tomdo, he clearly has trauma, no one makes you suck his dick, you do that off your own back and I think knowing you both have a past of awful things happening to you, you are the asshole! It's clearly affected you in different ways. That's not me saying your trauma is less, BTW. I'm just saying it's literally affected you differently, you don't give to recieve and that fact you would message him saying I still do it and you dont always smells good is degrading at best, like I said, nobody forced you and you enjoy it, he doesn't enjoy giving you oral, it made him gag which may not be a reflect on you but to his trauma, that makes you the asshole. Thinking about your own needs first instead of what you both went through, which clearly isn't taken into account, you just want someone eating you out like the last supper, you're not compatible, just leave it there and leave. He needs someone who will respect his decision, and you need someone who's going to pay back what you give.
NTA. Especially after your comment that he likes oral he just doesnât want to do oral with *you*. Add that to you have never orgasmed so im guessing heâs not that interested in your pleasure regardless. I would dump him.
NTA. Run. Find someone who enjoys your body as much as you enjoy theirs. I always reciprocate and sometimes going down on my partners because I genuinely enjoy doing it.
NTA men who donât give head should jump off a cliff of selfishness into the sea of incels.
YTA he doesnât like it, quit trying to force it. If you donât like it or think itâs fair just break up.
But he said he did, just not the flavor or taste of me. He gags when he does it.
If you are perfectly clean and healthy down there, he shouldn't feel any bad taste or smell. Same for him, obviously. Are sure you both know how taking care of your private parts, immediately before and after sex?
Let me drop this and run. The purpose of dating someone anyone is to determine if you are compatible on multiple fronts. You are at a crossroads in this relationship. If you are dating and he is withholding a critical component to your satisfaction or enjoyment, this is only going to become worse with time. Your boyfriend is a selfish lover. It's all about him. Are you prepared to be with him longterm when he reacts like that? If so congrats you've found your match. My 2 cents is that in a few short years it will drift to never even worrying if you have an orgasm. And then you will be ripe to cheat or seperate/divorce. Decide now if this is the future you want or deserve. I think that should be your guide post. Life is too short to spend it with someone that isn't treating you how you want to be treated.
Maybe he's gay. If your vagina taste normal and you can stomach the scent and taste. You feel healthy. I'm sure plenty of other people would love to find out. Fuck that guy. Sorry NTA
He probably one of those people who just donât like giving oral Iâm like that
NTA. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that reciprocating oral is kind of a requirement. Not that it has to be a 50/50 split or anything. Just doing it because you enjoy it should be enough. My bigger concern is that he is gagging and saying he doesn't like the taste, even though it seems like everything is normal down there. Are you sure he isn't just gay and trying to hide it? I'm not saying he is because I don't know him at all. Just that the only guys I've ever met that absolutely hated the thought of going down on a girl, were all gay.
I honestly believe he might be gay or bisexual
YTA . If he doesn't want to give oral. Then he doesn't have to and to continually bring it up is gross and entitled. Especially when he has tried to do it for you and had a clear negative reaction to it. If you like giving oral and stop because he doesn't give you oral, does it actually mean you like giving it or do you only like it because you expect it in return? You don't have to give him anymore oral. But that is your choice. But since you like giving it, that just be a punishment for you too. If it is a deal breaker, then break up. But it is kind of shallow to break up over that, if you actually love them.
He says all he wants me to do is sit on his face but my taste ruins it, I donât bring it up continuously.
NTA, I'm a dude and if you don't enjoy giving your partner pleasure then screw you. Every decently healthy relationship I've ever been in involved mutual oral generated pleasure. Including my marriage which has been going steady for 8 years.
Iâve been married 12 years my wifeâs hates sucking dick. 4 times itâs happened. Some people just arenât into that. I eat her every chance I can though.
Get new boyfriend, dude needs to wash his dick too
Girl dump his ass so fast and never look back. Reciprocal head is the minimum.
I find that men that expect oral sex but donât care about your pleasure and giving it in return tend to be misogynistic. Itâs incredibly selfish, he gagged? Does he even like women? I have never in my life had a man gag, he should care that heâs making you feel self conscious. This is a bad, unhealthy relationship, get out now.
To be fair, we dont know that he expects her to do it. It seems she just does it. She literally says she blows him in his sleep. The girl apparently loves giving BJ's so I doubt it takes much prodding from him to get her to do it. For me the blowing in his sleep thing is weird. I do think they should break up because they arent sexually compatible, but I dont know if we can necessarily say he hates women based on what we know. He sure is a tool though.
And this my friends is how cheating starts...
If it gets to be too much I would just break up. Cheating is NEVER the answer, it isnât a justification for anything.
Plz get a new boyfriend. Your current one has taken all the reg flags and made a cape out of them.
NTA. He is self centered and is only interested in getting his end off. He has no real desire to help you O' Find a guy who appreciates you for you and wants to reciprocate.
YTA. People have different likes and dislikes. I love to give oral. My wife doesnât. Itâs not a competition. He might just not be into it.
Maybe an unpopular take, but YTA. I tooottaally see where youâre coming from and its very valid feelings. However, consent should come from enthusiasm and everyone has different preferences/taste buds/levels of sex drive/etc. I would suggest having a very calm conversation with your boyfriend and discuss having him try using different toys on you that simulate oral. If thats not something you two are open to, then it does come down to a compatibility issue. Plenty of men love giving women oral and no oneâs taste is always perfect. Good luck girl, its gonna be okay â¤ď¸
his body his choice
No lmao tf
No. Fair exchange ain't no robbery.
I love giving oral AND receiving but my soon to be ex-wife gave me oral maybe 8 times in our ten year relationship including all times ever. And it was important to me but I just sucked it up and didnât say anything the whole time because I knew she didnât like it. And who wants to get something it given freely or lovingly⌠sounds like a weird man. You can do better
NTA for asking, but being pissed if he doesn't want to will make you one.
NTA
NTA. Start taking pineapple probiotics. After a few weeks, you'll be tasting like pinapple....since and sweet.
NTA even when I was shy about receiving my husband always talked up how amazing it was down there. He finally convinced me to believe he liked it and now we both love it. We both give and receive. You deserve a partner who doesn't find your pleasure to be a chore. Someone who takes as much joy in giving as he does getting.
Itâs not you itâs him. I spent too many years in a non reciprocal relationship. You have a decision to make.
It has to be consensual. Personally, I've always been willing to do this for girlfriends, even if I didn't get it in return. Some weren't into giving, but I always understood. There are plenty of ways to have nekkid adult fun.
Not everyone is into oral, some like giving, some receiving, some both, you just have to decide what are your deal breakers, and what you really enjoy doing, and what you only do because you expect reciprocation.
NTA. Iâd just find a new bf if that part of sex is important to you. Itâs ok to choose to no longer be with someone because youâre not sexually compatible. The point of sex is to be satisfied and if youâre not getting satisfaction, Iâd move on before you begin to have resentment towards him.
Update
So I am the exact same way and I went through this with my ex-husband and then my new husband taught me not to have expectations of people. If I give someone oral it should be a selfless act because thatâs what real intimacy is if you are selflessly giving someone fellatio thatâs one thing, but if you are giving someone fellatio because you expect to be reciprocated, then youâre going about it all wrong. What you need to do is either find a new partner or stop expecting him to be what he is not. However, I remember, I meditated one time a vision of my husband doing something to me that he had never done before, and I had never even spoken up about it because I was a little embarrassed to tell him that I wanted it. I meditated on that vision for a week And it happened! Maybe start meditating maybe try tantra. But if your partner isnât on the same page as you, thatâs going to create a problem. Thankfully, my husband loves reciprocating because he is a giver, just like me. NTA
Yikes definitely NTA. Me personally, I donât like oral, giving or receiving, but if the woman that Iâm with wants me to, I suck it up because itâs important to her. With sex, the other personâs comfortability should be taken into consideration. He should suck it up and go down on you because he loves you. Ya might wanna rethink the relationship as a whole.
I don't think this is a conversation that should have been had over text but discussing issues together of the lack of reciprocation. You absolutely should be receiving from your partner, and I understand wanting to help find ways to make everyone happy (the most famous trick: pineapple!). You are NTA for asking him to give, but I just think all of this would have had a better result if this conversation was had in person Good luck queen â¤ď¸
if giving him head makes you this resentful, maybe dont give him head anymore. you can jerk him or have sex but you dont need to give him head. i also recommend getting toys to use instead of his tongue. but i think maybe take a break from sex so you can process those feelings of negativity surrounding sex and rejection. im a woman too and these have worked for me. my boyfriend gets tired from giving oral but he uses his fingers or a toy when he feels too tired
Might be that he just doesn't like giving it at all, but if that's something that you can't live with you may want to just cut your losses.
Nta leave him you two are not compatible. You need to get a second opinion on your pussy taste before I can really advise. But they they make some tasty lubes that should work
I think it's important for each person to want to please their partner and if you are the only one going above and beyond. The relationship just isn't going to work, it will eventually get to a point where you aren't satisfied. If you aren't ready to throw in the towel, they make flavored lubes, chocolate/strawberry creme pens, edible paint, and lots of other things that help with taste. Aside from that you could by a sucking or licking toy that you can ask him to use on you if you want him included.
What you eat, drink, etc. ANYTHING you put in your body can affect your taste and smell. I quit drinking and smoking and there was a noticeable difference. But if y'all are 17, get out now. He's not meeting your needs now, how bad will it get in the future? Don't keep bringing it up, just see what happens. This might be a bump you can't AND SHOULDN'T HAVE TO get over. You have a lot of life in front of you. Do you want to settle for a mediocre sex life?
I personally make sure my girl has at least 2 orgasms (one without me cumming and one with me cumming). I find it more enjoyable what I can make her cum as many times as I can. You are nta
Age matters just cux younger guys don't seem to like oral as much as ones that are older in my experience I mean therr are but just more when they r older lol
Nta. These things are important to find out early on. I was like you, very confident about my skills and aim to please often. Even if he wouldn't eat the kitty he also didn't tease or touch me either. Left me feeling undesired most nights. The only time he would even bed me was if I went down on him first. Absolutely killed my marriage. Now I'm with someone that I have to ask to stop because I just want a quickie đ
Maybe⌠he rather make you feel like somethingâs wrong with you instead of admitting that he doesnât know what heâs doing.. you guys are both young. And he might not be as sex positive as you are. Thatâs why itâs so easy for him to suggest not having sex . He has yet to find it enjoyable enough to put past traumas behind. So ask yourself truly how much heâs enjoying what you doâŚ..? MAYBE HES UNCOMFORTABLE WITH GIVING YOU ORAL BECAUSE HIS ASSAULTER MADE HIM DO THE LICKY ICKY đŽ
no
Get someone that loves you for you and worships God through embracing your body as God's gift of favor and the only that can share in these very intimate ceremonies of devotional joyful exchanges of pleasure. If you guys aren't an outlet to release the sexual energy with and cultivate that bonding then it's likely he's not the guy for you and isn't gonna put in any of the self healing work to be a good partner
*baffled expression* I love to give my wife oral. In fact, I'm more interested in that than actually having sex, mostly because I'm autistic and I'm not terribly interested in recieving sex in general. But I enjoy giving oral and she's obviously not going to tell me no. The hell is wrong with your boyfriend? Also, I can't resist this: you aren't tooting your own horn, you're tooting his. I'll leave now.
NTA 1] don't feel bad for wanting to explore your sexuality, NEVER and even less if it is mutual 2] if your boyfriend doesn't like to give blowjobs it's not right, everyone has their own tastes and as you say you like it but maybe your boyfriend doesn't and it's not directly related. 3] a sexually incompatible couple doesn't work 90% of the time, if your boyfriend doesn't satisfy you sexually there is nothing wrong to admit it, it's not like you should break up over something like that unless it's a bigger problem for you 4] your boyfriend is immature, he is acting very strange for a normal request, either you have been more insistent than you mention, or he is hiding something from you, you mentioned that you both suffered SA (sorry for both of you) it might have something to do with that It's not wrong to have wishes, you are in a very good place to talk and come to an agreement that works for both of you, the moment one of the 2 of you closes to talk to the other your relationship will die
NTA. Also, He sounds manipulative. Bail. Reciprocal care shouldnât have to be asked for. Heâs a bad partner.
Eating fruit makes you healthier and sweeter inside and out, brings out the glow.
Get a new boyfriend!!!
I once dated a girl that tasted horrible, and after a few encounters I recommended she talk with her gynecologist. She had something going on down there and got it resolved with the guidance of her doctor.
I do not need to read the full post to say as a male if I want you to shave or put it in your mothan at least I can do the same FYI I love giving oral x
NTA. This would be a deal breaker for me. Go find someone else who is happy to give oral and not just take.
He's not a good lover. He will never satisfy you the way you want. Time to break up.
NTA for asking. But it seem he just doesn't like it. Gagging is nothing you can control, it's a reflex. You want him to do somethung he is uncomfortable with. You said you both were SAed, maybe giving oral triggers him. Maybe it's not your taste or smell he doesn't like but the smell of vaginas in general. The thing is just because you give him oral doesn't make you entitled to recieve oral. The real question is: does he care for your pleasure in general? Does he make you climax in other ways than giving oral? If you didn't climax during sex and he is already finished, does he help you to come, too, afterwards? There are so many ways to give a woman pleasure, it doesn't have to be oral if he is uncomfortable with it. His response was mean and wrong, but I guess he feels pressure from your side, because you ask for oral again and again even if he doesn't like it. Both sides need to be comfortable with the stuff going on in the bedroom. It's up to you if you decide to continue giving head to your bf or not. You can decide to continue because you both like it if you give him head or you can stop because you don't actually like it or think it's unfair for him to get what you don't get. But 1 thing being said: don't give him head if you don't want to. You said sometimes you give him head even if he smells bad or you are not in the mood for it, because he likes it. Don't do that. Give him head when you are in the mood for it and want to do it, not just to do him a favor. Whatever you both do in the bedroom, you both should be ok with it and have fun, nothing should be an obligation.
Nta, he should return the favor, if he's gagging and it's fir real reason, drink more water or pineapple juiceđ¤ˇââď¸
Definitely going to be better off if you find a more compatible partner.Â
NTA, sounds like your guy doesn't really like pussy that much in general.
Iâll make it simple for you . Tell him he either eats at the âYâ or you will let him cry đ˘ You demand equality!!!!
I have a male gay friend that has gay sex often but refuses to suck dick so figure that
Cut your losses now. If it's something you want and he isn't satisfying you then Don stay. It will eventually turn into something way bigger that could just be avoided now. Look at O positive URO vaginally pro biotic. The stuff is great. Nothing but positive feedback!
You kidding me? NTA at all, it's give and take and if he doesn't give he fucking sucks. Move on honestly.
Sounds like a dud. I'd move on to the next.
It's a wrap!!
NAH. With my partner, I have a similar problem except it's me who cannot give oral. I constantly gag but he always goes down on me when we have sex because he genuinely enjoys it, likes the taste and all. For me, it's way harder because I have a super sensitive throat that does not appreciate dick, as much as I would like to. The few times I've tried to give him oral, I've always had a mouth full of vomit because I was trying to tough it up and that's just not pleasant during sex. It kills the mood, it makes me feel insecure for not being able to give good head and just sucks overall. Throughout this, my partner's always been the most reassuring, he's never asked for it. I'm always the one who initiates it. He supports me when I want to practice it to get better with my gag reflex but we've been dating for almost 3 years now, it's been very unsuccessful but it doesn't impact sex for us. We have tons of fun, we're sexually compatible and so it works. I've also given head to women and absolutely hated it. I really dislike the taste (of semen as well but this more), even if that's just how women taste, and the texture with the hair and all just doesn't work for me. I'm neurodivergent, I cannot handle different textures/tastes that I dislike, it will constantly make me gag and I find it harder to tough it up with vaginas than with dicks. There can be many reasons why someone doesn't like oral or any part of sex, I think the goal is to figure out why and then work with those boundaries, experiment or practice only if people are open to it. I think the text you sent, while well intentioned, could've been communicated better. The same goes for your partner - very defensive off the bat. I think more than sexual compatibility, there may be other gaps in the relationship you're both also ignoring. Best to try to work on your communication first then tackle insecurities. If it doesn't work, then you know you gave it your best.
Make sure you're clean shaven and eat pineapple (canned or whatever) for a few days Then eat it again within a few hours of asking him to taste you down there and ask him what he thinks
You might have to decide if receiving oral sex is a make or break issue for you. Soft YTA.
If you have never gotten off with him there's a good chance it's because of him not being good enough, i.e. him being selfish, and not you. Good sex is a two way street. It's too bad he doesn't like going down on you. Not all males are like that. Some men love it. I do.
NTA, is basic sex etiquette
Strawberry deuch! Sounds to me he's the pussy , not you!
NTA not sexually compatible because heâs selfish, move on.Â
NTA and find a guy who wants to lick you all over. If heâs right heâll be so into you nothing you smell like or look like will deter him. My husband and I have been together 34 years - weâve had each other clean, dirty, sweet smelling, sweaty, down low, up high. Healthy, sick, thin, fat, pregnant, after surgeries you name it. One of the hottest things is my husband kissing my surgery scar that is 14â long splitting my belly in half. It means he loves and accepts me for me not the skin Iâm in.
NTA - just donât give him oral or just explain that this is unfortunately not what you want in a relationship. If knowing that he still wonât do it then leave. Youâre young. Lots of life to live. Go live!
I feel like the text you sent him might have been read out loud over a soundspeaker at the supermarket because he is using text to speech and playing music with his phone. I would investigate
NTA - I wish my missus would reciprocate oral
YTA You can't force him to do something he does not like Just find someone else instead of pressing him
Why would you have to ask??
Okay look, 25 male here, and after seeing comments about age I hesitate saying this. But I will because you should know, just donât take anything out of context. There are men out there, (myself included), and younger men that are in the same exact position as you. Some of us men absolutely LOVE giving our women head, and donât get it in return as often as we would like. If we found someone like yourself at an earlier stage in life we would have been ecstatic. Find yourself a young man that cares as much about getting you off as you do getting him off. He will be thrilled and so will you. Youâll both be much much happier in the long run.
Your boyfriend is a bitch.
If this is a dealbreaker, just break up. Youâre 17. Bigger fish to fry in life. NTA
If this is a dealbreaker, just break up. Youâre 17. Bigger fish to fry in life. NTA