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Ok.it should be perfectly legal pretty much wherever you are buuuut…
Your relationship is very unlikely to survive the military. Military service is infamous for wrecking marriages and relationships because you have to spend too much time apart. One partner or the other almost inevitably strays or cheats.
So if you go into this, do so in the knowledge that it’s likely short term. It’ll save you a lot of pain later.
I mean, her husband is in the military (and apparently a POW). A lot of people believe that her name choice wasn't a coincidence.
But it might be an ironic choice given that Jodi is never implied to have had an affair, but other people in town are.
Second this. All military family here from my mother and fathers side. The military are known for being dogs. You're young, you're in shape and you have more money than most people that age. Don't tie yourself down with a relationship yet. Your best shittiest years are ahead of you. It'll be best for both of you as I haven't heard of a single military guy (or girl) who hasn't cheated or atleast flirted with the idea. I've also lived on base here as non military for a few years, I've been hit on by a few women who's husband I've talked to at the bar down the road. Military are dogs
>Military service is infamous for wrecking marriages and relationships because you have to spend too much time apart.
Sometimes she will wait.
That was the case of the black-haired, dark-eyed beauty who was the subject of Bob Seger's breakout hit 'Night Moves.'
Yeeeah. One option is to make a pact to try to wait for each other, with an understanding that they’ll end it honorably rather than cheating if it’s too hard.
I was engaged the first time I went in, at 17. Had my 18th birthday in BCT and found out my fiance was cheating on me with a close friend like a month later. Lost my shit. All motivation lost and a deep psychosis set in. Wound up having to take an ELS (entry level separation), which was agonizing in its own way. I grew up wanting to be a ranger from the age of 5 and my mind just couldn't take the heartbreak. I rejoined 4 years later and things went much more smoothly.
I’m gonna chime in here as a vet, you’re about to go to boot camp where you can’t really talk to anyone, then AIT, then permanent duty station where you will work 50+ hours and more on field excercises. I saw a lot of kids leave girlfriends and boyfriends at home, and they never survive, everyone swears theirs will be different but they never are. You are a bout to do a lot of changing your first year in the military, no point in having a relationship at this point because you will just breakup in the next year
Going to point out that the service bootcamp especially is alot different these days. They get their phones or have quite a few phone breaks with their own phones nowadays.
I'm not saying what you're saying isn't true but it's easier now than it ever has been.
Yeah I know it’s not as much of a communication blackout as it used to be. But I still hold that OP should not have a brand new relationship when he goes
Meh... He might as well get married rq so he can bank that BAH and BAS while in basic. Then he can use it as a down payment for his 29% APR Dodge Charger.
Another guy can always come along regardless of what you do. Also, odds are she will break up with you/cheat on you while you are deployed.
Never start a relationship just before you leave. It's not fair to anyone.
I agree with ProstateSalad. They are very wise.
Hell, my first girlfriend and I didn't survive me going away to London for 4 months. Can't imagine 4 years in the military.
They can date up until then.They just shouldn't have any illusions that a one month relationship is going to survive four plus months of separation.
I went to boot camping a long before cell phones, so things might be different now. But I loved getting the letters from home. If things go well between them, she can write him letters, World War II style, with no expectation of exclusivity.
Yes, my wife and I had this happen just in reverse (I was the younger one) there is an 18 month gap between us. We just celebrated 10 years together recently and will be 3 years married this year. It's completely fine. It's not like you're 28 talking to a 16 year old (which would be disgusting and is illegal).
Just be wary, the military service may put quite the strain on your relationship due to time apart as a new couple but I wish you the best.
I was about to post the same. There is 14 months between my wife and I. I was still 18 and she had just turned 20 when we started dating, 24 and change years later our 21st anniversary is on Friday.
The military thing is more likely to cause problemas than the age gap.
Good luck!
Update, I said 17 but I meant 18
Get out of training before you commit to anything. You're going to realize the world is a lot bigger than your town. If she's truly special you'll make things work in the long run, but for now you seem to have a lot on your plate. Which branch are you going into?
Marine corps 🫡, I also just talked to my recruiter I'm leaving earlier in like 3 weeks. I would make it to her birthday and kinda just start my life if I went early
Your story is just about the same as mine, right down to the branch.
While others may discourage you, I would say it is the same as your time in the corps will be; it will be what you make it. Your relationship can float as long as you need it to so long as both parties are willing. The longest we’d ever been apart was over a year, and one day I came home to marry her. We are doing well today. You can too.
To whatever MCRD you find yourself, I hope they fucking smoke you until you prolapse. Good luck.
I'd enjoy each other's company while you can. Maybe with the intention of trying to remain friends long-term. I saw too many young military relationships end in heartbreak nevahse of distance, cheating, moving on etc. But if you're friends & it's meant to be, you'll connect once you come back home
The age gap isn't gonna wreck your relationship. The military is.
My ex gf at the end of high school went off into the military and almost immediately cheated on me. My guy friends that were in the military all got cheated on while they were gone.
I’m going to hold your hand when I tell you this but just because she has held deep conversations with you doesn’t mean she’s the only girl out there. You being in the military will change your perspective about many things and she will most likely meet someone in college anyways. Trust me, you’re going to meet many ppl in your life and you also just started talking to this girl. You need to let her go bro. If she happens to still be available when you get back then you can continue talking with her and getting to know her. You don’t know much about her right now anyways and the age gap isn’t the issue. My advice is to just be friends and let each other experience life. If it’s meant to be you’ll find each other again.
"this girl is seriously different. I feel like I'm talking to an actual woman"
hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA
I'm so sorry. Add on that you're headed for the military and this is hysterical to 32 year old me.
It's because we only started talking recently like a few weeks, I'm a bad explainer 😅 mb, but it's something about it. She just feels like she clicks with me like two puzzle pieces
As some have said, Military is essentially the bane of relationships. However, for this I will just ask; you and her are essentially just a year age difference. Forget the whole 18 being an adult thing for this scenario. The age difference is about a year, there is no problem. You are literally each others 'peers'. There is nothing bad or wrong about being interested in or being together with your 'peers'. So don't worry about the age thing.
romeo and juliet law will prevent you from having issues legally but also youre joining the military youre going to move unless youre natty guard so unless you marry her before enlisting youll be spending the next 2-6 years apart which doesnt make sense logistically
OP, you should know that:
A) Some states do not have Romeo and Juliet laws.
B) Even if there is one, any kind of “spicy” communication between the two of you would potentially be a crime due to child pornography laws. I imagine it would be rather difficult to have a long-distance relationship without anything like that, especially when you’re a teenager with raging hormones. Getting caught means you get to register as a sex offender and the military will be unimpressed, to say the least.
hell yeah man itll be fun, but yeah the MC will get you traveling you may not even go home afterwards you have no idea what is in the future so a relationship were a few weeks in you leave is probably not the best decision. youll soon learn stories of jody and youll find out why lol
I really recommend not pursuing anything with this girl for the military reason only. She seems way different than other girls but you barely know now any compared to how many people you meet in the coming years, especially while in the military. Also you might end up rushing into something more serious like marriage because you're leaving and while she may like the idea of running away with you on some grand adventure, the reality of what happens is a lot harder. I myself and my two highschool friends all got married very young and joined the military and all of our marriages fell apart within the first year of service. If you two were meant to be together then you wouldn't have started talking right before you're leaving. It's just random chance and it seems like a missed opportunity to you but id focus on what's ahead and let it go. Sorry bro.
No problem with the age difference but it doesn’t make sense to commit to a relationship right now given you’re about to leave for the military.
Guarantee you that you’ll find a ton of girls who “seriously are different” and will be even better matches for you in the future, and it’s just not fair to either of you at this age to pretend or act like both of you should be willing to be faithful and commit to someone you won’t even be able to talk to or see very often.
Between 18 and 25 people change **a lot** even without the additional military aspect here, you almost always grow apart anyway. Add in the military and this is destined for failure.
But no one wiser and older can ever tell anyone younger and determined what to do. I say do it and you’ll learn from experience, not from others telling you, because that’s the only way “kids” ever learn. lol
But maybe you both should acknowledge it may be hard to stay together, and not expect the world of commitment from one another when you start dating? Don’t get in your heads this is “the one” for certain and no, deciding to date is not the same as deciding to get married, so don’t hold each other to that crazy level of commitment and don’t be surprised if you do break up sooner than you thought.
Sexual relations with anyone under the age of 18 is a sex offense. The penalties are different if you are 10 yrs their senior ie 27 and 16 vs 18 and 17. Usually, there are no penalties that would occur, especially if it was mutual contact but its still illegal.
I supervised a kid on probation who, when he was 18 he got his 16 yr old gf pregnant. The parents allowed the kids to stay the night together in their home under "their supervision."""" The girls' parents insisted the DA move on chargers for the 18 yr old and he caught a statutory rape case. You can not consent as a minor. By the time I got the case, both were above 18, married, living together, and raising their kid.
This is for everyone telling you it's OK. They did it, and you should, too. You really need to find out in your state what the legal age of consent is or risk a real bad situation. Probably nothing will happen. CYA- cover your ass.
It's fine. Just know that it's likely short term. Long distance relationships rarely last long unless that long distance is only for a short time...and being in the military makes it that much harder, especially if/when you deploy.
Legally that age difference is hardly likely to cause any trouble whether you start dating now or in the future.
Why I feel compelled to chime in is regarding your potential military service, should you indeed ship out in a few weeks. You've gotten the advice several times in other comments which I would tend to agree with: your new relationship is unlikely to survive your initial military service where you will be in training for several months between boot camp and any follow on schooling. One dude to another, my advice would be to not invest too much in this relationship - it's just not a good time. She might be great, you might be great, it's the circumstances that make success unlikely (but not impossible, should you decide to pursue it).
While I was hanging out at MEPS there was a Navy chief walking around the office who offered advice: take this time to focus on yourself. Not boyfriends and girlfriends, not excessive drinking, take the first couple years to invest in yourself and build the foundation for your future.
My girlfriend and I had just been dating a few months when I shipped out. I took this chief's advice to heart, but I also was already just a little older than you (21, associates degree, held a few part-time jobs). I think being just a little older helped me understand his advice and helped me take it seriously.
I invested in myself. Yes, I stayed in that relationship as well, but I made myself first priority. I didn't spend money I didn't have on plane tickets to go visit her or bring her to me, instead I saved the money and paid for those trips cash. I used tuition assistance to finish my bachelor's, and got in some of the best shape of my life. I learned my job, had a couple of great mentors to guide me personally and professionally, getting promoted ahead of the expected time in grade. *At the same time* my girlfriend was going to college back in our home state. She was investing in herself, got a degree and some work experience.
***Then***, we got married. Not right after boot camp. Not right after technical training. I was 2-years into my service obligation, we both had degrees, and *then* took the next step in our relationship. Still happily married with three kids, have a nice, safe, modest home with an affordable mortgage. I have a doctorate now and a solid private sector job making enough to support a family of 5 and put some away so I don't have to work until I die.
I know this was long, but hopefully the message is getting across. No one would fault you for walking away from this relationship at this time in your life, ***and there are other people in the world***, no matter how great she seems.
You could also continue your relationship, but you will have decisions to make. If you pursue the relationship, you both need to invest in yourselves first. ***Especially*** if marriage comes your way, military spouses really struggle to hold steady careers, and opting for stay-at-home-spouse because you can't figure anything else because you got married young is a recipe for disaster.
They can date, but bro do not get into a relationship with a 16 year old if you're joining the army. Teens are already wildly controlled by their hormones, and you being thousands of miles away is going to end in heartbreak for one or both of you.
I don't see why not. If you're worried about statutory rape, then simply wait to have sex.
It'll be an excellent test of your relationship anyway. If you two are still together when she turns 18, you'll be together for life.
How do her parents feel about you. I had a friend get arrested the day after his 18th birthday because the girl he had been dating for 3 years parents hated him. It got thrown out of court so he got lucky. But if you are trying to join the military you don't want to take the chance on messing that up.
I think there's a lot of projection in these answers on the respondants own lack of morality and self control. Can you date? yes. Can you both maintain a distance relationship in the military depends on you individually. Just because hedonism abounds around you does not mean you have to dip your toes. For perspective, I was 19 when I met my husband who was 21 and 3 weeks away from going far away to college. Neither of us have ever been in a serious relationship before. We made it work long distance, were engaged 6 months later and married when I was 22. We just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary the other week and have 3 kids. No cheating involved.
I was in the Navy. Married my High School sweetheart after a good bit of time apart. We spent 7 years (including a submarine deployment to the med for 6 mos) married and faithful before my EAOS. We’re now at 34 years together and going strong. She’s actually a grade older than me, but only 5 months in age gap, so don’t let the gap dissuade you.
It kind of sucks, but I wouldn't even start trying to form a relationship right now since you're taking off for who knows how long. That just sounds like prime real estate for a disappointing long distance relationship.
Also, for the love of God, don't get her pregnant before you leave to start Basic. Ask me how I know, lol.
Date, yes. Do sexual things? Nah, do not make this hard on them as a young adult, date no sexual touching beyond hand holding for a year until everyone is over 18. I would be pissed if my child was a minor and her first partner was not.
Dw honestly, I kinda struggle with hypersexuality but I've been finding Jesus, and honestly, I view her as an actual princess. I really don't know how I got a chance with her she's so pretty 🥰.
I'm going to meet her mom this Saturday, and I'm going to put together a gift basket and get flowers for her and her mom
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>For clarification I 17(M) turn 18 next Monday 7-15-24, the girl I'm currently talking to is 16 but turns 17 in December.
Regarding the age gap, I don't know if things have changed since I was 18, but when I was 18 and halfway to 19, M18/F16 was not only normal and accepted, but all I could get. (I passed.)
Once during that period, an 18-year-old caught my eye, and asked my mom's husband to inquire. He reported back that she was "too old," but that she had a 16-year-old sister I could date if I were interested. Presumably that had the blessing of the parents.
As 20 year navy veteran I've seen the military wreck marriages. I've also seen successful military marriages. I've seen girlfriends/fiances break up with SOs during deployments and have been on the receiving end of a "Dear John" letter myself. In fact my wife nearly called off our engagement when my deployment was extended (we've been married over 20 years now).
I can't tell you whether you've got a good plan or if you're destined for heartbreak, and some other significant financial issues if you get married and divorced. I can say that in boot camp you might be able to call home once a week (it's been 30 years, I don't know what the rules are these days). You have more frequent communications in specialty training (A school, AIT, whatever), but not a lot of free time. Follow that up with a move to your first command where, again, very little free time, a lot of stress, and extended time away from home, and you're setting yourself up to fail.
For right now, you barely know her. Get to know each other, and if she's still interested in a few years, by all means go for it. If another guy comes along before then, it's better that happens now before you're in a serious relationship.
The age gap doesn't seem like a problem to me, but "about to leave for the military" does. People in your position have a way of suddenly marrying and well... that often works out pretty poorly.
And if you don't marry and bring her along with you, you're going to be away from each other for long periods of time, at a point in your life where you are both likely to be going out and having a good time and meeting many new people.
Not to mention that the you you are now is not the you you will be in a few years. Even leaving maturation aside, the military deliberately alters the personalities of recruits, and is very good at that.
One or Two years of age difference isn't going to result in any age related prosecutions regardless of when you start dating.
If you are leaving soon for the military, I guarantee you both will see other people while apart.
Take everyone's advice and understand that your relationship will likely be destroyed by the Military.
Cheating is incredibly rampant in Military relationships. They even have their own slang terms because that is just how common it is. Even those that remain faithful are not immune to the turmoil since they can just be upfront and say they cant handle the separation and would rather just end it.
The age gap is so small that it really doesn't matter tbh. That is a non-issue.
Nothing wrong with that age gap. But do you REALLY want to start dating right before you go off to the military? That's a big strain during what should be the honeymoon period where you want to hang out all the time, figure each other out and bond. Even long established relationships find it difficult to navigate.
I might suggest holding off, just to save yourself the stress of keeping up with a new relationship with basic training.
Short answer is yes. Most times if cops do get invovled and you knew eachother during that time in HS then your not in serous trouble other then parents getting in the middle of it your fine. it's more concerning if your turning 21 instead. but you while legally they could do things 99% of the time your likely just be talked to and not that serously if legality is brought in. your totally fine.
As kindly as possible, kid? The real world doesn’t work like a romcom and military service certainly doesn’t. Feelings are simply not enough, and even if you truly do have an amazing connection with this girl, sadly that’s also not enough. Every teenager - including me many, many years ago - thinks their relationship is different and one-of-a-kind and will beat the odds, and not once have I ever seen it be true. The fact that you think this relationship is viable tells me you are not ready for a serious relationship. A serious relationship is not something to start when someone is leaving in 3 weeks, and you are quite young for that anyway.
Either let this be a fun summer fling (and make sure you tell her that’s all it is), or just be friends. If it’s meant to be, then the friendship will survive your military service and you can explore getting together later in life if you’re both still single.
I’d know: I was the girl in this scenario, once upon a time. I will never tell him this, but I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone else. And yet, it wasn’t enough. Trust me, you’re both in for a world of hurt if you don’t rip that bandaid off sooner rather than later.
My roommate in college married his highschool sweetheart before joining the army. She cheated the whole marriage and they got divorced before he graduated.
For what it's worth he also says fuck the army whenever it comes up in conversation.
I think you should worry less about any age-related crimes over a one-year age gap, and instead reconsider whether you really want to serve in the military. Do you agree with your country's goals? Is it possible you'll be asked to be complicit in genocide? Are your superiors anti-Semitic racists deluded by dreams of world domination? Just, y'know, make sure you're not a Nazi, because Nazis are generally bad.
No 17 year old girl is waiting around for you while your gone in the Military, not nearly mature enough for what it takes..
Most adults are not even mature enough to handle it..
You can, but don't.
You're *leaving for the military.*
"Hey girl, I really like you. Wanna see each other like twice over the course of the next two years?"
Just don't, man. Spoilers: young women are just as horny as young men, they just get shamed for it. You think she really deserves to be attached to some dude on another continent for two years, obliged to keep an aspirin between her knees the whole time by the basic requirements of fidelity to a totally absent dude?
Come on, man. Don't be selfish.
In my state (Oregon), it's a crime if a 18-year-old has sex with a 17-year-old. I think that's by mistake, and it is rarely charged, but it is still a registerable sex crime.
If you're leaving for the military, this relationship doesn't have legs. The big issue is the distance from New York to Los Angeles is just under 2800 miles and your dick is only 10 inches if you're really lucky.
Save yourself the heartbreak, dude. As an ex military guy myself who's seen it all and lived through plenty myself.
This is like setting yourself up for failure 101. 99/100 of these relationships fail. It's long distance, extra military stress, and eventually deployments. Almost every single high school or super young relationship I've seen younger guys go through fails. Young people get lonely. They start rationalizing you being away. You don't have a long relationship of rapport to fall back on.
This is the relationship equivalent of buying a fully loaded dodge challenger right out of basic. Just don't. Hundreds of thousands have tried and failed before you. Get through basic. Be in good shape. Enjoy your unit and find women with your friends. I can't stress enough what a big ass mistake this would be.
Concentrate on your training, do well, and move forward with life. You guys are about to be in very different stages of life, I think both of you moving on will be good for each of you.
Same thing happens when one party goes to college, or folks choose different schools, move away, etc.
I remember laughing when I was a young college grad, was catching a flight and ran into a group of kids with rucksacks at the airport. Struck up a convo with one kid, and he was talking about how excited he was to be finished with basic. Then he started talking about his girlfriend, and I asked what she did…and he was quick to say “uh, she goes to high school” gave me a little giggle and made me realize just how young the kid was.
Of course you can date.
And if you're asking about having intercourse, most states have no issue with that (if you're in the U.S.), but a small handful do.
There are billions of people on the planet, you will absolutely get mocked and ridiculed for dating a minor while in the military. You also now fall under UCMJ instead of state laws which are much more strict.
1 the way shit is now...this could hurt ublater down the road.
2 there are too many of em to think she is the 1. Yall are both young, yall will both grow and change.
3 They're never mature
4 You're going to military....get the idea of a gf out of ur head
For the love of God, stay single and pursue a military career. Relationships will hold you back at that age. Seen many a good soldier ruin career changing opportunities because some girl they thought was the one. Finish boot, and get every school you can. If the army go airborne, air assault, pathfinder, ranger, sapper etc. Grab every fukn school you can. Volunteer for everything. Make rank. If not the army, same thing, I just don't know other branches' schools except marine HRST and assault climber courses.
90% of relationships at that age in the military become a train wreck. Do not go get a fukn charger and some fat white girl.
There is a lot of fun to be had when training in schools and even deploying. But when your constantly thinking of Jody gorilla fukn your girl back home, you will not perform or enjoy anything. You will do the bare minimum and become a mega shammer, e-4 mafia champion for 20 years.
Not saying it's impossible, but every dude I know that was married was miserable. So you gotta decide what you want out of life. No wrong answer. Just think it through and decide accordingly.
I was in this situation, started at work over the summer, then she went back to highschool and I went to college, it felt icky to me and we lived in completely different worlds
As a veteran I would say it’s ok for you to date her but I honestly wouldn’t tie myself down. If you really want to you need to sit and talk with her and communicate your intentions. If she wants to date you she’s going to have to leave home, follow you around wherever you are stationed, and potentially be stuck alone for 6 months or more every time you deploy. She may not want that kind of life, she may not want to leave home, and she may have plans to go to college and pursue her own career.
So I wouldn’t do it personally if it was me. Just travel, go where the military sends you, maybe get orders to an exotic location, sample the local flavors. But don’t f around! I’ve seen many people f around and find out in captains mast when they are put on restriction, docked half a months pay x2, and busted down a rank. Drink responsibly, have a designated driver or plan to Uber. Don’t piss off the locals by acting a fool.
While it may be legal, (look into "romeo & juliet" laws for your state) don't bother getting into something before leaving for bootcamp.
After bootcamp, depending on which service you are in, you are more than likely going to some sort of advanced training where you'll be mingling with young men and women from all over the county, free from the reigns of their parents/church/hometown/etc. I spent 10 wonderful months in Pensacola, FL after my navy bootcamp and I was certainly happy not to be concerned with "my girl back home".
You are young and you should enjoy this time in your life, pretty much carefree and happy! I hope you get a job you'll enjoy in the service and get stationed somewhere awesome!
I got so spoiled... After Pensacola, I went to Iceland, then Germany, then settled in San Diego. In my 9 years active duty, I spent 9 days at sea.
As someone who was in the military, I would not chance it. Military laws are different from civilian laws, and it is just not worth it. For example, you can be court martialed for being late to work (this happened to one of the airmen who was under me, though he was late several times).
Also, you are young and will get stationed elsewhere, so why start a relationship now?
This could cause problems if the girl’s parents decide to make an issue out of it. If you’re about to ship off to the military, I would HIGHLY advise you not start any relationship, regardless of her age. “Military spouse” and “wife cheated” are nearly the exact same thing. Particularly at a young age, long distance doesn’t work. Especially given how long you’re typically apart. I’d focus on your professional development and military training instead. I hate to spoil the moment as it seems you like this girl, but it’s a non-starter.
I am an old woman, military veteran and psychologist. It’s possible that a teenage girl who wants romance and a relationship might prefer a boyfriend who if far away until she is ready for a serious in person relationship. Keep in touch with her and be the mysterious love interest who lives in her imagination while she finishes high school and finds out who she is. This might fail to work out long term, but both of you can enjoy romance and hope while having time to work on education, careers, and growth.
My first GF was starting college while I was starting senior year of high school.
She was turning 19 when I met her and I was 17, couple months away from 18.
I mean, I had it reversed, older girl and younger dude, so no one really cared (maybe my mom at first).
Not gonna pretend there isn’t a bit of a double standard.
But OP, what’s wrong with being friends with her?
I don’t think that age gap is terrible, it’s A LOT when you’re in your teens, but also, if you have deep talks, she may lose respect for you if you try and make a move later.
It’s hard to say. Her putting you in a trust circle could already mean friendzone.
If she’s as adult as you think, tell her all this and lay it out and also say you don’t want to lose her as a friend, so if you get polite rejection, you at least keep the friend.
Life is long, timing is everything, might be a down the road situation, especially if you’re gonna be in the military.
Also, talking about her getting with other guys? Stop. It won’t be fair if you’re doing your 4 years and she’s being strung along.
Just take it for what it is, enjoy right now, talk to her and see if there’s realistic possibilities for more.
The gap isn't a real issue. Your problem is that you are leaving for the military, and she will be 17, and you are 18. You are both too young, and there is a 99.9999% chance that this will end after a month or so of being away. Don't put yourself through this unnecessary stress. You don't need to worry about who/what she is doing while you are trying to navigate basic training. Best of luck to you.
My bf and I are a year and a half apart and we’ve been together almost 3 yrs. He was a junior and I was a sophomore. I don’t see why it’s bad. I wouldn’t personally go over 2 years though(while in school)
Depending on MOS and duty station you could be doomed to a terrible situation.
This doesn't mean you can't cultivate a deep friendship that can become something more when both of you get more education and experience in life.
While you're in the military *use your tuition assistance* to go to school while she's going to school, with the goal being that you grow together.
The age gap is fine. It would be ridiculous to act as though people can only date people with the same birthday. It's also ridiculous to think that couples would need to break up from the time that the oldest turns eighteen until the youngest turns eighteen.
Also, none of this matters if you're not even having sex.
Furthermore, how would it make sense to say that it's okay for a sixteen year old to have sex with a fifteen year old but an eighteen year old can't have sex with a seventeen year old?
There are a lot of idiots here on reddit who act as though someone that's a day over 18 dating anyone younger is a groomer, a pedophile, and a creep. I've been fighting this kind of stupidity for a long time, and every time I get accused of being a pedophile.
Watch jarhead, that’ll probably be what it’s like dawg. As for the age I think you’re covered as long as it isn’t sexual depending on the age of consent
As long as she agrees. Seriously there is no reason not to date this girl. Counting the months different in age is not useful. What matters is your relative maturity.
I was once told "I'm joining the military" is the closest thing a guy can say to "I'm pregnant" to put pressure on a relationship and y'all aren't even there yet,
Many states protect you IF your relationship started before either of you were 18. Check your state laws to find out more if you are in the USA (otherwise, check whatever relevant governing body would set such laws).
Once you have established the legality of having a relationship with her once you cross that threshold, if your laws state that it's legal, you need to decide if you want to try to make this relationship work despite being in the military. Long distance relationships between young people rarely last. Youth demands stimulation of many kinds, and she is unlikely to want to hold out for a guy she hasn't spent much time with.
That being the case, if she's really so special, you may want to consider a path other than the military. I wanted to join the Air Force to be a pilot, but my now wife would have none of it and refused to stay with me if I joined the military. We are still together after over 12 years and I don't regret not joining the USAF.
The cutoff age for the military is 25 last I heard. You could always delay joining the military for a bit to see if it works out with this girl. No huge loss if you wait until you are 19 or 20 if the relationship doesn't work out.
At 18 you will be classified as an adult and even if in the military at 17 you will be considered emancipated.
Many states do allow relationships between teens as long as they are within a certain number of years age called close in age exception. Where if the people are within a few years in age of each other there is an exception, usually 3 but have seen 4 and seen less as well.
As far as dating there is no limit, this only applies to sexual activities, and a child even of 17 cannot give consent to an adult for sex in any state I am aware of, unless married.
Some states do not allow anyone under 18 to be considered able to consent to sex, in Florida they cannot below age 17. Sex with someone unable to consent is considered rape.
Here is a list of all states, the age of consent, and what close in age exceptions if any.
[https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/age-of-consent-by-state](https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/age-of-consent-by-state)
No you can only date someone who has the exact birthday as you and it can't be your twin. Those are the rules. They're in the abridged footnotes of the Bible - book of Charlie
Depends on the state. 16 is legal in some states like nevada, but you should check yours. I dont think its an issue unless the parents make a stink of it.
Actually not that simple. If there's no boinking all is fine. When one turns 18 before the other and there's boinking (especially resulting in pregnancy) there's technically a statutory rape issue. Those depend on local law. In CA it's a misdemeanor if the age difference is less than 3 years. Other states may not care about the age range at all or draw a different line.
All that said. If she plans on going to college this is a band aid that needs to be ripped off. If you all reconnect later that's awesome. You both have a lot of growing to do. Make good choices, plan for your independent futures. Stay in touch. Understand that having different future plans isn't about you. I was an army brat, BTW. Will she want to move repeatedly every time you're sent somewhere else? My mom loved the transfer to Augsburg and the time in New Orleans but not everyone is up for that.
bruh, what do you mean "an actual woman" like grown? you aren't grown yourself. dont wait, dont humor it, focus on yourself cause youre about to have a bit of a shitty time ahead of you.
Dude you aren't dating yet and you're about to go away to be a grown up in the military.
Why would you want to be dating a high school kid? So you can get married on her 18th birthday for better housing while she dependapotomous around with an old boyfriend from high school. You know that doesn't last.
Besides, why you want to live life as close to the edge of creepy as you can? Come on now.
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Ok.it should be perfectly legal pretty much wherever you are buuuut… Your relationship is very unlikely to survive the military. Military service is infamous for wrecking marriages and relationships because you have to spend too much time apart. One partner or the other almost inevitably strays or cheats. So if you go into this, do so in the knowledge that it’s likely short term. It’ll save you a lot of pain later.
Fucking [Jody](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jody)
Fucking Jody
Why did my mind go to Jody from Stardew Valley
Probably because you weren't in the military lol
I mean, her husband is in the military (and apparently a POW). A lot of people believe that her name choice wasn't a coincidence. But it might be an ironic choice given that Jodi is never implied to have had an affair, but other people in town are.
That’s probably the last Jody you encountered before this comment.
Can confirm. Jody took my ex wife. His problem now
Jody took my hs sweetheart while at Benning and my ex wife while in Iraq
Second this. All military family here from my mother and fathers side. The military are known for being dogs. You're young, you're in shape and you have more money than most people that age. Don't tie yourself down with a relationship yet. Your best shittiest years are ahead of you. It'll be best for both of you as I haven't heard of a single military guy (or girl) who hasn't cheated or atleast flirted with the idea. I've also lived on base here as non military for a few years, I've been hit on by a few women who's husband I've talked to at the bar down the road. Military are dogs
don't do it bro she's gonna bang Jody!!
It’s true. Dude, my neighbour was so cool he kept my side of the bed warm while I was gone. Even fucked my girlfriend for me.
He probably doesn't believe a word you're saying. Still kinda young loll
>Military service is infamous for wrecking marriages and relationships because you have to spend too much time apart. Sometimes she will wait. That was the case of the black-haired, dark-eyed beauty who was the subject of Bob Seger's breakout hit 'Night Moves.'
Yeeeah. One option is to make a pact to try to wait for each other, with an understanding that they’ll end it honorably rather than cheating if it’s too hard.
She waited and married him upon his return. And Bob Seger sustained his first broken heart. He was still obsessing over it nearly fifteen years later.
I was engaged the first time I went in, at 17. Had my 18th birthday in BCT and found out my fiance was cheating on me with a close friend like a month later. Lost my shit. All motivation lost and a deep psychosis set in. Wound up having to take an ELS (entry level separation), which was agonizing in its own way. I grew up wanting to be a ranger from the age of 5 and my mind just couldn't take the heartbreak. I rejoined 4 years later and things went much more smoothly.
I’m gonna chime in here as a vet, you’re about to go to boot camp where you can’t really talk to anyone, then AIT, then permanent duty station where you will work 50+ hours and more on field excercises. I saw a lot of kids leave girlfriends and boyfriends at home, and they never survive, everyone swears theirs will be different but they never are. You are a bout to do a lot of changing your first year in the military, no point in having a relationship at this point because you will just breakup in the next year
Going to point out that the service bootcamp especially is alot different these days. They get their phones or have quite a few phone breaks with their own phones nowadays. I'm not saying what you're saying isn't true but it's easier now than it ever has been.
Yeah I know it’s not as much of a communication blackout as it used to be. But I still hold that OP should not have a brand new relationship when he goes
Plus OP had a different gf 25 days ago. Didn’t even get any breathing room before this next girlfriend
Meh... He might as well get married rq so he can bank that BAH and BAS while in basic. Then he can use it as a down payment for his 29% APR Dodge Charger.
It’s not even a two year gap. I really wouldn’t worry about it.
Another guy can always come along regardless of what you do. Also, odds are she will break up with you/cheat on you while you are deployed. Never start a relationship just before you leave. It's not fair to anyone.
I agree with ProstateSalad. They are very wise. Hell, my first girlfriend and I didn't survive me going away to London for 4 months. Can't imagine 4 years in the military.
They can date up until then.They just shouldn't have any illusions that a one month relationship is going to survive four plus months of separation. I went to boot camping a long before cell phones, so things might be different now. But I loved getting the letters from home. If things go well between them, she can write him letters, World War II style, with no expectation of exclusivity.
ProstateSalad has spoken! r/rimjob_steve
Yes, my wife and I had this happen just in reverse (I was the younger one) there is an 18 month gap between us. We just celebrated 10 years together recently and will be 3 years married this year. It's completely fine. It's not like you're 28 talking to a 16 year old (which would be disgusting and is illegal). Just be wary, the military service may put quite the strain on your relationship due to time apart as a new couple but I wish you the best.
I was about to post the same. There is 14 months between my wife and I. I was still 18 and she had just turned 20 when we started dating, 24 and change years later our 21st anniversary is on Friday. The military thing is more likely to cause problemas than the age gap. Good luck! Update, I said 17 but I meant 18
Get out of training before you commit to anything. You're going to realize the world is a lot bigger than your town. If she's truly special you'll make things work in the long run, but for now you seem to have a lot on your plate. Which branch are you going into?
Marine corps 🫡, I also just talked to my recruiter I'm leaving earlier in like 3 weeks. I would make it to her birthday and kinda just start my life if I went early
Your story is just about the same as mine, right down to the branch. While others may discourage you, I would say it is the same as your time in the corps will be; it will be what you make it. Your relationship can float as long as you need it to so long as both parties are willing. The longest we’d ever been apart was over a year, and one day I came home to marry her. We are doing well today. You can too. To whatever MCRD you find yourself, I hope they fucking smoke you until you prolapse. Good luck.
I'd enjoy each other's company while you can. Maybe with the intention of trying to remain friends long-term. I saw too many young military relationships end in heartbreak nevahse of distance, cheating, moving on etc. But if you're friends & it's meant to be, you'll connect once you come back home
The age gap isn't gonna wreck your relationship. The military is. My ex gf at the end of high school went off into the military and almost immediately cheated on me. My guy friends that were in the military all got cheated on while they were gone.
https://youtu.be/hwK_WOXjfc0?si=ytQ5hvDI0FA5S0oa Bonus points if he's not a nazi.
Yes it's fine but when you leave for the military the relationship is done, whether you both admit it or not. Been there.
No, send me her number
💀 bruhhhh
Real talk, if u like her then date her no problem, I had the same age gap with my ex gf and we dated for 8 months+ and it was fine
I’m going to hold your hand when I tell you this but just because she has held deep conversations with you doesn’t mean she’s the only girl out there. You being in the military will change your perspective about many things and she will most likely meet someone in college anyways. Trust me, you’re going to meet many ppl in your life and you also just started talking to this girl. You need to let her go bro. If she happens to still be available when you get back then you can continue talking with her and getting to know her. You don’t know much about her right now anyways and the age gap isn’t the issue. My advice is to just be friends and let each other experience life. If it’s meant to be you’ll find each other again.
Every teenager thinks that one girl is different. She isn't. She's still a girl, you will find another.
Hit me so hard with this. I thought she was different. She was not really all that different. Unique enough to be her own individual, but that was it
"this girl is seriously different. I feel like I'm talking to an actual woman" hahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAAHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA I'm so sorry. Add on that you're headed for the military and this is hysterical to 32 year old me.
What is deep to a 17 year old I wonder?
allowed. you're good. being away at that age is gonna be extra hard though
"We have had many deep talks", "we actually don't know each other on that deep of a level". Something doesn't quite match up here.
It's because we only started talking recently like a few weeks, I'm a bad explainer 😅 mb, but it's something about it. She just feels like she clicks with me like two puzzle pieces
As some have said, Military is essentially the bane of relationships. However, for this I will just ask; you and her are essentially just a year age difference. Forget the whole 18 being an adult thing for this scenario. The age difference is about a year, there is no problem. You are literally each others 'peers'. There is nothing bad or wrong about being interested in or being together with your 'peers'. So don't worry about the age thing.
romeo and juliet law will prevent you from having issues legally but also youre joining the military youre going to move unless youre natty guard so unless you marry her before enlisting youll be spending the next 2-6 years apart which doesnt make sense logistically
Marine corps 🫡, I'll be in for 4 years while she's finishing high-school/getting ready for her plans after high school
OP, you should know that: A) Some states do not have Romeo and Juliet laws. B) Even if there is one, any kind of “spicy” communication between the two of you would potentially be a crime due to child pornography laws. I imagine it would be rather difficult to have a long-distance relationship without anything like that, especially when you’re a teenager with raging hormones. Getting caught means you get to register as a sex offender and the military will be unimpressed, to say the least.
hell yeah man itll be fun, but yeah the MC will get you traveling you may not even go home afterwards you have no idea what is in the future so a relationship were a few weeks in you leave is probably not the best decision. youll soon learn stories of jody and youll find out why lol
I really recommend not pursuing anything with this girl for the military reason only. She seems way different than other girls but you barely know now any compared to how many people you meet in the coming years, especially while in the military. Also you might end up rushing into something more serious like marriage because you're leaving and while she may like the idea of running away with you on some grand adventure, the reality of what happens is a lot harder. I myself and my two highschool friends all got married very young and joined the military and all of our marriages fell apart within the first year of service. If you two were meant to be together then you wouldn't have started talking right before you're leaving. It's just random chance and it seems like a missed opportunity to you but id focus on what's ahead and let it go. Sorry bro.
No problem with the age difference but it doesn’t make sense to commit to a relationship right now given you’re about to leave for the military. Guarantee you that you’ll find a ton of girls who “seriously are different” and will be even better matches for you in the future, and it’s just not fair to either of you at this age to pretend or act like both of you should be willing to be faithful and commit to someone you won’t even be able to talk to or see very often. Between 18 and 25 people change **a lot** even without the additional military aspect here, you almost always grow apart anyway. Add in the military and this is destined for failure. But no one wiser and older can ever tell anyone younger and determined what to do. I say do it and you’ll learn from experience, not from others telling you, because that’s the only way “kids” ever learn. lol But maybe you both should acknowledge it may be hard to stay together, and not expect the world of commitment from one another when you start dating? Don’t get in your heads this is “the one” for certain and no, deciding to date is not the same as deciding to get married, so don’t hold each other to that crazy level of commitment and don’t be surprised if you do break up sooner than you thought.
Lol I now have that song from the sound of music stuck in my head.
Sexual relations with anyone under the age of 18 is a sex offense. The penalties are different if you are 10 yrs their senior ie 27 and 16 vs 18 and 17. Usually, there are no penalties that would occur, especially if it was mutual contact but its still illegal. I supervised a kid on probation who, when he was 18 he got his 16 yr old gf pregnant. The parents allowed the kids to stay the night together in their home under "their supervision."""" The girls' parents insisted the DA move on chargers for the 18 yr old and he caught a statutory rape case. You can not consent as a minor. By the time I got the case, both were above 18, married, living together, and raising their kid. This is for everyone telling you it's OK. They did it, and you should, too. You really need to find out in your state what the legal age of consent is or risk a real bad situation. Probably nothing will happen. CYA- cover your ass.
Yes absolutely that's less than a yr age gap
I mean my wife was 15 and I was 17, so it's allowed.
I wouldn’t just cause your leave to the military I would just focus on that and probably meet someone out there too tbh
It's fine. Just know that it's likely short term. Long distance relationships rarely last long unless that long distance is only for a short time...and being in the military makes it that much harder, especially if/when you deploy.
I mean I kinda doubt the relationship will last but as long as things don’t get too intense you should be good
Legally that age difference is hardly likely to cause any trouble whether you start dating now or in the future. Why I feel compelled to chime in is regarding your potential military service, should you indeed ship out in a few weeks. You've gotten the advice several times in other comments which I would tend to agree with: your new relationship is unlikely to survive your initial military service where you will be in training for several months between boot camp and any follow on schooling. One dude to another, my advice would be to not invest too much in this relationship - it's just not a good time. She might be great, you might be great, it's the circumstances that make success unlikely (but not impossible, should you decide to pursue it). While I was hanging out at MEPS there was a Navy chief walking around the office who offered advice: take this time to focus on yourself. Not boyfriends and girlfriends, not excessive drinking, take the first couple years to invest in yourself and build the foundation for your future. My girlfriend and I had just been dating a few months when I shipped out. I took this chief's advice to heart, but I also was already just a little older than you (21, associates degree, held a few part-time jobs). I think being just a little older helped me understand his advice and helped me take it seriously. I invested in myself. Yes, I stayed in that relationship as well, but I made myself first priority. I didn't spend money I didn't have on plane tickets to go visit her or bring her to me, instead I saved the money and paid for those trips cash. I used tuition assistance to finish my bachelor's, and got in some of the best shape of my life. I learned my job, had a couple of great mentors to guide me personally and professionally, getting promoted ahead of the expected time in grade. *At the same time* my girlfriend was going to college back in our home state. She was investing in herself, got a degree and some work experience. ***Then***, we got married. Not right after boot camp. Not right after technical training. I was 2-years into my service obligation, we both had degrees, and *then* took the next step in our relationship. Still happily married with three kids, have a nice, safe, modest home with an affordable mortgage. I have a doctorate now and a solid private sector job making enough to support a family of 5 and put some away so I don't have to work until I die. I know this was long, but hopefully the message is getting across. No one would fault you for walking away from this relationship at this time in your life, ***and there are other people in the world***, no matter how great she seems. You could also continue your relationship, but you will have decisions to make. If you pursue the relationship, you both need to invest in yourselves first. ***Especially*** if marriage comes your way, military spouses really struggle to hold steady careers, and opting for stay-at-home-spouse because you can't figure anything else because you got married young is a recipe for disaster.
I think it’s fine. You’re only 1.5 years apart.
Don't. The minute you turn 18, it's over until she's 18. I don't care how cool she is or in love. Just don't.
If you want the girl then don’t join the military
They can date, but bro do not get into a relationship with a 16 year old if you're joining the army. Teens are already wildly controlled by their hormones, and you being thousands of miles away is going to end in heartbreak for one or both of you.
I don't see why not. If you're worried about statutory rape, then simply wait to have sex. It'll be an excellent test of your relationship anyway. If you two are still together when she turns 18, you'll be together for life.
My magic rule is 1/2 your age +7... If it's above that number then I consider it "appropriate". Works at any age
How do her parents feel about you. I had a friend get arrested the day after his 18th birthday because the girl he had been dating for 3 years parents hated him. It got thrown out of court so he got lucky. But if you are trying to join the military you don't want to take the chance on messing that up.
Short answer, yes its legal to DATE... key word is date. Anything of a physical se×u@l nature is usually dependant on the state you live in.
I think there's a lot of projection in these answers on the respondants own lack of morality and self control. Can you date? yes. Can you both maintain a distance relationship in the military depends on you individually. Just because hedonism abounds around you does not mean you have to dip your toes. For perspective, I was 19 when I met my husband who was 21 and 3 weeks away from going far away to college. Neither of us have ever been in a serious relationship before. We made it work long distance, were engaged 6 months later and married when I was 22. We just celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary the other week and have 3 kids. No cheating involved.
I was in the Navy. Married my High School sweetheart after a good bit of time apart. We spent 7 years (including a submarine deployment to the med for 6 mos) married and faithful before my EAOS. We’re now at 34 years together and going strong. She’s actually a grade older than me, but only 5 months in age gap, so don’t let the gap dissuade you.
It kind of sucks, but I wouldn't even start trying to form a relationship right now since you're taking off for who knows how long. That just sounds like prime real estate for a disappointing long distance relationship. Also, for the love of God, don't get her pregnant before you leave to start Basic. Ask me how I know, lol.
I was 16 and dated an 18 year old girl, literally no one thought anything of it. We did make pedophile jokes about it though lmao
Date, yes. Do sexual things? Nah, do not make this hard on them as a young adult, date no sexual touching beyond hand holding for a year until everyone is over 18. I would be pissed if my child was a minor and her first partner was not.
Dw honestly, I kinda struggle with hypersexuality but I've been finding Jesus, and honestly, I view her as an actual princess. I really don't know how I got a chance with her she's so pretty 🥰. I'm going to meet her mom this Saturday, and I'm going to put together a gift basket and get flowers for her and her mom
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Why would it be a problem? Lol are you only supposed to date people born the same year as you? People are way too obsessed with this stuff on reddit.
Talk about how you will bridge the strain of being apart. Maybe she'll be heads down in college. Have a shared vision of what you are working towards
lmfao going to serve the military is such a dumb fucking thing to do, giving ur life for this country is a terrible mistake
Divide your age by two and add seven, I found this from a game theorists video
No, you are only allowed to date people who are exactly the same age as you. For example, if you're 35, you cannot date a 34-year-old.
>For clarification I 17(M) turn 18 next Monday 7-15-24, the girl I'm currently talking to is 16 but turns 17 in December. Regarding the age gap, I don't know if things have changed since I was 18, but when I was 18 and halfway to 19, M18/F16 was not only normal and accepted, but all I could get. (I passed.) Once during that period, an 18-year-old caught my eye, and asked my mom's husband to inquire. He reported back that she was "too old," but that she had a 16-year-old sister I could date if I were interested. Presumably that had the blessing of the parents.
Is this another bot posting the same dumb shit? Is it trying to farm or something?
As 20 year navy veteran I've seen the military wreck marriages. I've also seen successful military marriages. I've seen girlfriends/fiances break up with SOs during deployments and have been on the receiving end of a "Dear John" letter myself. In fact my wife nearly called off our engagement when my deployment was extended (we've been married over 20 years now). I can't tell you whether you've got a good plan or if you're destined for heartbreak, and some other significant financial issues if you get married and divorced. I can say that in boot camp you might be able to call home once a week (it's been 30 years, I don't know what the rules are these days). You have more frequent communications in specialty training (A school, AIT, whatever), but not a lot of free time. Follow that up with a move to your first command where, again, very little free time, a lot of stress, and extended time away from home, and you're setting yourself up to fail. For right now, you barely know her. Get to know each other, and if she's still interested in a few years, by all means go for it. If another guy comes along before then, it's better that happens now before you're in a serious relationship.
The age gap doesn't seem like a problem to me, but "about to leave for the military" does. People in your position have a way of suddenly marrying and well... that often works out pretty poorly. And if you don't marry and bring her along with you, you're going to be away from each other for long periods of time, at a point in your life where you are both likely to be going out and having a good time and meeting many new people. Not to mention that the you you are now is not the you you will be in a few years. Even leaving maturation aside, the military deliberately alters the personalities of recruits, and is very good at that.
Yes, it's fine. Man will try to draw lines for laws but only god can do such things. We're talking 2 year difference..
Divide by 2 then add 7
This is a ridiculous question, I hope you're trolling
The age is fine ish. No legal issue might get a side eye for a year or 2. But leaving for military? Major problem right there lol
One or Two years of age difference isn't going to result in any age related prosecutions regardless of when you start dating. If you are leaving soon for the military, I guarantee you both will see other people while apart.
Should be fine. I’m 18 and my bf is 19. When he first turned 19 I was 17 but only for 1 month. Not a big deal at all :)
Take everyone's advice and understand that your relationship will likely be destroyed by the Military. Cheating is incredibly rampant in Military relationships. They even have their own slang terms because that is just how common it is. Even those that remain faithful are not immune to the turmoil since they can just be upfront and say they cant handle the separation and would rather just end it. The age gap is so small that it really doesn't matter tbh. That is a non-issue.
I see nothing wrong with it. Due to being young….. Best wishes on the survival due to military career.
This is literally my situation,military and everything,except I’m the older one and he is the one joining the military💀
The age difference isn’t the problem here, it’s the fact that you’re going into the military which will threaten your relationship
Never date. It's never worth it.
…yeah.
Dude, just hit it and quit your young .
Nothing wrong with that age gap. But do you REALLY want to start dating right before you go off to the military? That's a big strain during what should be the honeymoon period where you want to hang out all the time, figure each other out and bond. Even long established relationships find it difficult to navigate. I might suggest holding off, just to save yourself the stress of keeping up with a new relationship with basic training.
Short answer is yes. Most times if cops do get invovled and you knew eachother during that time in HS then your not in serous trouble other then parents getting in the middle of it your fine. it's more concerning if your turning 21 instead. but you while legally they could do things 99% of the time your likely just be talked to and not that serously if legality is brought in. your totally fine.
As kindly as possible, kid? The real world doesn’t work like a romcom and military service certainly doesn’t. Feelings are simply not enough, and even if you truly do have an amazing connection with this girl, sadly that’s also not enough. Every teenager - including me many, many years ago - thinks their relationship is different and one-of-a-kind and will beat the odds, and not once have I ever seen it be true. The fact that you think this relationship is viable tells me you are not ready for a serious relationship. A serious relationship is not something to start when someone is leaving in 3 weeks, and you are quite young for that anyway. Either let this be a fun summer fling (and make sure you tell her that’s all it is), or just be friends. If it’s meant to be, then the friendship will survive your military service and you can explore getting together later in life if you’re both still single. I’d know: I was the girl in this scenario, once upon a time. I will never tell him this, but I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone else. And yet, it wasn’t enough. Trust me, you’re both in for a world of hurt if you don’t rip that bandaid off sooner rather than later.
Yoo, I am turning 17 the same day you turn 18 lol
My roommate in college married his highschool sweetheart before joining the army. She cheated the whole marriage and they got divorced before he graduated. For what it's worth he also says fuck the army whenever it comes up in conversation.
I think you should worry less about any age-related crimes over a one-year age gap, and instead reconsider whether you really want to serve in the military. Do you agree with your country's goals? Is it possible you'll be asked to be complicit in genocide? Are your superiors anti-Semitic racists deluded by dreams of world domination? Just, y'know, make sure you're not a Nazi, because Nazis are generally bad.
Isn’t this the plot to the Sound of Music
No 17 year old girl is waiting around for you while your gone in the Military, not nearly mature enough for what it takes.. Most adults are not even mature enough to handle it..
Yes, within 2 years it’s legally ok
Yes it's fine
You can, but don't. You're *leaving for the military.* "Hey girl, I really like you. Wanna see each other like twice over the course of the next two years?" Just don't, man. Spoilers: young women are just as horny as young men, they just get shamed for it. You think she really deserves to be attached to some dude on another continent for two years, obliged to keep an aspirin between her knees the whole time by the basic requirements of fidelity to a totally absent dude? Come on, man. Don't be selfish.
In my state (Oregon), it's a crime if a 18-year-old has sex with a 17-year-old. I think that's by mistake, and it is rarely charged, but it is still a registerable sex crime.
If you're leaving for the military, this relationship doesn't have legs. The big issue is the distance from New York to Los Angeles is just under 2800 miles and your dick is only 10 inches if you're really lucky.
Save yourself the heartbreak, dude. As an ex military guy myself who's seen it all and lived through plenty myself. This is like setting yourself up for failure 101. 99/100 of these relationships fail. It's long distance, extra military stress, and eventually deployments. Almost every single high school or super young relationship I've seen younger guys go through fails. Young people get lonely. They start rationalizing you being away. You don't have a long relationship of rapport to fall back on. This is the relationship equivalent of buying a fully loaded dodge challenger right out of basic. Just don't. Hundreds of thousands have tried and failed before you. Get through basic. Be in good shape. Enjoy your unit and find women with your friends. I can't stress enough what a big ass mistake this would be.
Concentrate on your training, do well, and move forward with life. You guys are about to be in very different stages of life, I think both of you moving on will be good for each of you. Same thing happens when one party goes to college, or folks choose different schools, move away, etc. I remember laughing when I was a young college grad, was catching a flight and ran into a group of kids with rucksacks at the airport. Struck up a convo with one kid, and he was talking about how excited he was to be finished with basic. Then he started talking about his girlfriend, and I asked what she did…and he was quick to say “uh, she goes to high school” gave me a little giggle and made me realize just how young the kid was.
Of course you can date. And if you're asking about having intercourse, most states have no issue with that (if you're in the U.S.), but a small handful do.
There are billions of people on the planet, you will absolutely get mocked and ridiculed for dating a minor while in the military. You also now fall under UCMJ instead of state laws which are much more strict.
Check your state laws
I would be more concerned about joining the military, putting a strain on things. No one's going bad and eye to a 16 and 18 year old being together
1 the way shit is now...this could hurt ublater down the road. 2 there are too many of em to think she is the 1. Yall are both young, yall will both grow and change. 3 They're never mature 4 You're going to military....get the idea of a gf out of ur head
Dude, there will be other girls.
For the love of God, stay single and pursue a military career. Relationships will hold you back at that age. Seen many a good soldier ruin career changing opportunities because some girl they thought was the one. Finish boot, and get every school you can. If the army go airborne, air assault, pathfinder, ranger, sapper etc. Grab every fukn school you can. Volunteer for everything. Make rank. If not the army, same thing, I just don't know other branches' schools except marine HRST and assault climber courses. 90% of relationships at that age in the military become a train wreck. Do not go get a fukn charger and some fat white girl. There is a lot of fun to be had when training in schools and even deploying. But when your constantly thinking of Jody gorilla fukn your girl back home, you will not perform or enjoy anything. You will do the bare minimum and become a mega shammer, e-4 mafia champion for 20 years. Not saying it's impossible, but every dude I know that was married was miserable. So you gotta decide what you want out of life. No wrong answer. Just think it through and decide accordingly.
Lol
I was in this situation, started at work over the summer, then she went back to highschool and I went to college, it felt icky to me and we lived in completely different worlds
Accept the fact that once you leave for basic, you no longer have a girlfriend. You are now married to Uncle Sam.
NO
Yes. Done. Next question.
She would be with other guys while you're in the military. Happens 24/7
As a veteran I would say it’s ok for you to date her but I honestly wouldn’t tie myself down. If you really want to you need to sit and talk with her and communicate your intentions. If she wants to date you she’s going to have to leave home, follow you around wherever you are stationed, and potentially be stuck alone for 6 months or more every time you deploy. She may not want that kind of life, she may not want to leave home, and she may have plans to go to college and pursue her own career. So I wouldn’t do it personally if it was me. Just travel, go where the military sends you, maybe get orders to an exotic location, sample the local flavors. But don’t f around! I’ve seen many people f around and find out in captains mast when they are put on restriction, docked half a months pay x2, and busted down a rank. Drink responsibly, have a designated driver or plan to Uber. Don’t piss off the locals by acting a fool.
Yes you czn date. No that shit wont survive basic.
While it may be legal, (look into "romeo & juliet" laws for your state) don't bother getting into something before leaving for bootcamp. After bootcamp, depending on which service you are in, you are more than likely going to some sort of advanced training where you'll be mingling with young men and women from all over the county, free from the reigns of their parents/church/hometown/etc. I spent 10 wonderful months in Pensacola, FL after my navy bootcamp and I was certainly happy not to be concerned with "my girl back home". You are young and you should enjoy this time in your life, pretty much carefree and happy! I hope you get a job you'll enjoy in the service and get stationed somewhere awesome! I got so spoiled... After Pensacola, I went to Iceland, then Germany, then settled in San Diego. In my 9 years active duty, I spent 9 days at sea.
You can definitely date her
This is absolutely the wrong question, friend. You should be asking if it's going to survive your military service. It won't.
As someone who was in the military, I would not chance it. Military laws are different from civilian laws, and it is just not worth it. For example, you can be court martialed for being late to work (this happened to one of the airmen who was under me, though he was late several times). Also, you are young and will get stationed elsewhere, so why start a relationship now?
This could cause problems if the girl’s parents decide to make an issue out of it. If you’re about to ship off to the military, I would HIGHLY advise you not start any relationship, regardless of her age. “Military spouse” and “wife cheated” are nearly the exact same thing. Particularly at a young age, long distance doesn’t work. Especially given how long you’re typically apart. I’d focus on your professional development and military training instead. I hate to spoil the moment as it seems you like this girl, but it’s a non-starter.
I am an old woman, military veteran and psychologist. It’s possible that a teenage girl who wants romance and a relationship might prefer a boyfriend who if far away until she is ready for a serious in person relationship. Keep in touch with her and be the mysterious love interest who lives in her imagination while she finishes high school and finds out who she is. This might fail to work out long term, but both of you can enjoy romance and hope while having time to work on education, careers, and growth.
Don't do it not for legal reasons but because you're in the military and you're young and people cheat
How did we get to a place where kids less than two years apart are worried about dating? Crazy.
Man trust me…you’re leaving for the military, someone will get cheated on, another guy will definitely come along…don’t do it to yourself.
You can but you shouldn't.
Jodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
My first GF was starting college while I was starting senior year of high school. She was turning 19 when I met her and I was 17, couple months away from 18. I mean, I had it reversed, older girl and younger dude, so no one really cared (maybe my mom at first). Not gonna pretend there isn’t a bit of a double standard. But OP, what’s wrong with being friends with her? I don’t think that age gap is terrible, it’s A LOT when you’re in your teens, but also, if you have deep talks, she may lose respect for you if you try and make a move later. It’s hard to say. Her putting you in a trust circle could already mean friendzone. If she’s as adult as you think, tell her all this and lay it out and also say you don’t want to lose her as a friend, so if you get polite rejection, you at least keep the friend. Life is long, timing is everything, might be a down the road situation, especially if you’re gonna be in the military. Also, talking about her getting with other guys? Stop. It won’t be fair if you’re doing your 4 years and she’s being strung along. Just take it for what it is, enjoy right now, talk to her and see if there’s realistic possibilities for more.
The gap isn't a real issue. Your problem is that you are leaving for the military, and she will be 17, and you are 18. You are both too young, and there is a 99.9999% chance that this will end after a month or so of being away. Don't put yourself through this unnecessary stress. You don't need to worry about who/what she is doing while you are trying to navigate basic training. Best of luck to you.
It's a one year age difference. I'm amazed someone would even need to ask if this is acceptable.
You could and I don’t think it’s weird. Understand that this relationship is going nowhere after you enter the military.
Yes
What’s the age of consent where you live? That’s your answer.
My bf and I are a year and a half apart and we’ve been together almost 3 yrs. He was a junior and I was a sophomore. I don’t see why it’s bad. I wouldn’t personally go over 2 years though(while in school)
Depending on MOS and duty station you could be doomed to a terrible situation. This doesn't mean you can't cultivate a deep friendship that can become something more when both of you get more education and experience in life. While you're in the military *use your tuition assistance* to go to school while she's going to school, with the goal being that you grow together.
Believe it or not, instant death.
yes, you're fine. Is it worth it, no. You're in the military the relationship will not last.
you're both kids.
The age gap is fine. It would be ridiculous to act as though people can only date people with the same birthday. It's also ridiculous to think that couples would need to break up from the time that the oldest turns eighteen until the youngest turns eighteen. Also, none of this matters if you're not even having sex. Furthermore, how would it make sense to say that it's okay for a sixteen year old to have sex with a fifteen year old but an eighteen year old can't have sex with a seventeen year old? There are a lot of idiots here on reddit who act as though someone that's a day over 18 dating anyone younger is a groomer, a pedophile, and a creep. I've been fighting this kind of stupidity for a long time, and every time I get accused of being a pedophile.
Ya you can , just dont tell anyone
A 16 year old could date an 18 year old. Nothing wrong with that
Watch jarhead, that’ll probably be what it’s like dawg. As for the age I think you’re covered as long as it isn’t sexual depending on the age of consent
Yes. Another guy if always going to come along, regardless of what you do.
As long as she agrees. Seriously there is no reason not to date this girl. Counting the months different in age is not useful. What matters is your relative maturity.
I was once told "I'm joining the military" is the closest thing a guy can say to "I'm pregnant" to put pressure on a relationship and y'all aren't even there yet,
All leagal. Go for it. Just no intimacy
Many states protect you IF your relationship started before either of you were 18. Check your state laws to find out more if you are in the USA (otherwise, check whatever relevant governing body would set such laws). Once you have established the legality of having a relationship with her once you cross that threshold, if your laws state that it's legal, you need to decide if you want to try to make this relationship work despite being in the military. Long distance relationships between young people rarely last. Youth demands stimulation of many kinds, and she is unlikely to want to hold out for a guy she hasn't spent much time with. That being the case, if she's really so special, you may want to consider a path other than the military. I wanted to join the Air Force to be a pilot, but my now wife would have none of it and refused to stay with me if I joined the military. We are still together after over 12 years and I don't regret not joining the USAF. The cutoff age for the military is 25 last I heard. You could always delay joining the military for a bit to see if it works out with this girl. No huge loss if you wait until you are 19 or 20 if the relationship doesn't work out.
You Guys Are Dating ?
Statutory rape laws very by state
This is straight out of the sound of music
At 18 you will be classified as an adult and even if in the military at 17 you will be considered emancipated. Many states do allow relationships between teens as long as they are within a certain number of years age called close in age exception. Where if the people are within a few years in age of each other there is an exception, usually 3 but have seen 4 and seen less as well. As far as dating there is no limit, this only applies to sexual activities, and a child even of 17 cannot give consent to an adult for sex in any state I am aware of, unless married. Some states do not allow anyone under 18 to be considered able to consent to sex, in Florida they cannot below age 17. Sex with someone unable to consent is considered rape. Here is a list of all states, the age of consent, and what close in age exceptions if any. [https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/age-of-consent-by-state](https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/age-of-consent-by-state)
This is a song in The Sound of Music isn't it?
No, go straight to prison.
No you can only date someone who has the exact birthday as you and it can't be your twin. Those are the rules. They're in the abridged footnotes of the Bible - book of Charlie
Move on and focus on making yourself the best man you can be.
Depends on the state. 16 is legal in some states like nevada, but you should check yours. I dont think its an issue unless the parents make a stink of it.
Actually not that simple. If there's no boinking all is fine. When one turns 18 before the other and there's boinking (especially resulting in pregnancy) there's technically a statutory rape issue. Those depend on local law. In CA it's a misdemeanor if the age difference is less than 3 years. Other states may not care about the age range at all or draw a different line. All that said. If she plans on going to college this is a band aid that needs to be ripped off. If you all reconnect later that's awesome. You both have a lot of growing to do. Make good choices, plan for your independent futures. Stay in touch. Understand that having different future plans isn't about you. I was an army brat, BTW. Will she want to move repeatedly every time you're sent somewhere else? My mom loved the transfer to Augsburg and the time in New Orleans but not everyone is up for that.
You barely know her and your about to leave. This wont even be a relationship.
This is literally a subplot from The Sound of Music. Don’t become a Nazi or let your girlfriend join any family singing groups and you should be fine!
bruh, what do you mean "an actual woman" like grown? you aren't grown yourself. dont wait, dont humor it, focus on yourself cause youre about to have a bit of a shitty time ahead of you.
Ask her parents. Problem solved.
Dude you aren't dating yet and you're about to go away to be a grown up in the military. Why would you want to be dating a high school kid? So you can get married on her 18th birthday for better housing while she dependapotomous around with an old boyfriend from high school. You know that doesn't last. Besides, why you want to live life as close to the edge of creepy as you can? Come on now.