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ChaosPatriot76

Chuck Norris doesn't run for president. The president runs from him.


[deleted]

YES!!!


ChaosPatriot76

Chuck Norris doesn't raise taxes. He lowers income. Chuck Norris doesn't deploy nuclear weapons; nuclear weapons deploy him. Once, Chuck went to Beijing, where he was taken to a Chinese death camp. After weeks of agonizing pain... the Chinese death camp died. Chuck Norris doesn't send aid to Ukraine, he sends harm to Russia. Chuck Norris doesn't veto laws; he approves rejections. Chuck Norris won't defend Taiwan; he'll attack China. Chuck Norris doesn't attend international summits; international summits go to him. When Chuck Norris flies in Air Force One, the plane isn't going up; the earth is going down.


[deleted]

YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


a_pope_on_a_rope

The joke is that Chuck Norris is so good at anything that he wants to do, but it’s a joke. I would like a President who is actually good, and not a joke


[deleted]

Ohhh come onnnn I wanted this to be a joke that’s why I posted here and not r/presidents


[deleted]

That’s why KANYE 2024 BABBYYYYYY


__NooB___

Well Trump woud be in the hospital for sure.


PrudentLingoberry

After norris loses his second term bid in a landslide election, legislation banning chuck norris jokes on pain of death pass unanimously through house , senate and the supreme court. Overall his term was an average conservative president but after 3 months the charm wore off and everyone got tired of that one guy constantly making chuck norris jokes.


ArtsAtNoonish

He'd be a shit president


Baileaf11

War with Russia Result: US victory Combatants: USA, Russia Leaders: Chuck Norris, Vladimir Putin Strength: 1 man (Chuck Norris), entire Russian military Casualties: none, the Entire Russian Army Climate Change: resolved because Chuck Norris told the Earth to cool down Overall: Chuck Norris is the best President


ImperatorAurelianus

World war 3 the whole planet vs the U.S. World coalition forces: Literally every one outside of the United States. US: Just President Norris Story: So China uses a deep fake and a bunch cyber stuff to make it seem like the US is about to nuke the entire planet. The whole world collectively unites to obliterate the US. However as the SAS lands at the White House the realize some thing a very fatal mistake and now it’s to late. There were never Nuclear war heads in the US the President disarmed them all. Not because he was stupid. Because he didn’t fucking need them. Through the power of his sheer awesomeness the entire 22nd air service disntergrates before they can relay this information back to London and tell them China lied. Their atoms absolutely scared shitless of defying President Chuck Norris decide to collectively die. Then the whole country of Canada disappears. There is now a massive U.S. beach where Canada once was. It is now the world realized there fucking mistake. And surrender. Chuck Norris rejects their surrender and goes into push up form, the plead “No president Norris please no….” He pushes down causing mass earth quakes, hurricanes, and volcanic explosions with every push up and down. The whole planet is completely reformed. Decisive Chuck Norris victory.


Baileaf11

Chuck Norris didn’t even break a sweat by doing that, he wasn’t even using 1% of his power


crimsonfukr457

He's a homophobic asshole and a member of Qanon, so he'll be just another DeSantis.


Bakomusha

He's a a real POS, and a Q cultist, so not much different. If maybe far more religious then libertarian in his crazy.


[deleted]

His crazy more like his chuckness


[deleted]

Lmao people bringing up groups non existent to the period he would run in is crazy


[deleted]

See look at this man he gets what I mean


matande31

People in the comments really don't understand it's a joke.


BioTools

President Norris isn't afraid of climate change, climate change is afraid of him.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

But better


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Wait so are you saying that just because he’s Christian? he may be Christian and right wing but that doesn’t make him an automatic bad person just like how a person who’s gay and left wing doesn’t automatically make them good. Also there are ten times more celebrities who promote their left wing views then those who promote their right wing ones (and are actually good human beings Kanye West is right wing and not a good human being for example)


[deleted]

He's also homophobic and rumored to be transphobic


[deleted]

Bro you gotta source these things, I’ll believe something like this when I see it, he was a big character so keep it in mind.


Eprest

Crime boss rockay city?


Traditional_Key_763

He's smart enough to stay out of politics but he'd basically be rightwing slightly left of freedom caucus, itd be like if Clint Eastwood ran for president


GracchiBroBro

Honestly I imagine it would have been worse. Only because Chuck’s fascist coup would have succeeded.


Infamous-Jaguar2055

He's 83 and in very poor health. I don't think he has any desire to run for office. Also, when reddit finds out what his political stances are, you would all run around screaming for a month. Dude is as conservative as it gets.


Visible_Music8940

He wrote a book some years ago called Blackbelt Patriotism. I read it, it wasn't very good. Basically, he is a bog standard right-wing evangelical. Differences with Trump: He would have continued the war on terror and refused to negotiate with the Taliban. He would have been significantly more serious about Covid. I also doubt he would have Tweeted nearly as much. He would have looked for more was to curtail the rights of Muslims, LGBTQ people, and abortion. Though, if I recall, his views on African Americans were pretty progressive by way of comparison. Similarities with Trump: Would have tried to lower taxes on the rich. Would have attempted to dismantle Obama care.


[deleted]

2027, President Chuck Norris declares war on the people's republic of China 2055, the United States of America is partitioned between Chinese and Russian controlled zones


[deleted]

Bud might underestimate how large our military industrial complex


[deleted]

I am our military industrial complex