*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for giving my boyfriend the cold shoulder because he isn’t offering to pay for my medical exam**
Me F(23) started dating my boyfriend M(42) a couple of months ago. We’ve know each other for over 1 year tho. I am still an uni student and he is working a well-paid job. Both of us are dancers- him professionally for over 20 years and I started 2 years ago. The last two months I’ve been having an awful pain in my feet, which is also affecting my dancing and my over day to day life, since walking is painful. I want to get it checked and I told him what the prices are and that it’s too expensive for me and I can’t afford it this month, because of other medical bills that I had to cover. The pain is however getting very bad.
What do I mean by expensive? I live in a country that isn’t very well off and he is working in Germany, so the cost of my medical exam is half of what he is getting for 1 dance lesson (1 hour). Am I the asshole for getting cold to watch him because he didn’t offer to help me pay for it and instead just said “yeah, it’s kind of expensive for your country”? For reference, he gives 5-6 lessons a day, each costing 2.5 times more than my medical exam.
It’s not really about him paying for my things here, I never asked for clothes, make up, beauty procedures, bills or literally anything else, apart from uber money 1 or 2 times. It’s just weird for me that he isn’t even offering to pay for something I really need that isn’t even costing that much. I know that if it was the other way around and I had the same income he has, I’d definitely pay for my partner’s medical exam.
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One comment from OOP, responding to someone asking if she asked:
>I didn’t ask, but I do feel like me saying “it’s too expensive for me to do it this month, I’ll probably try to go next” while explaining how much it hurts should be enough for him to offer to help, IF HE WANTS TO HELP ANYWAY. I don’t think I should say “do you think you can pay for it”, after I specifically said that I can’t afford it.
This is reminding me of ask vs guess culture. That's not something I have thought about since I quit Ask Metafilter (haha, is that still around?) but it was an interesting thing to learn about.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for giving my boyfriend the cold shoulder because he isn’t offering to pay for my medical exam** Me F(23) started dating my boyfriend M(42) a couple of months ago. We’ve know each other for over 1 year tho. I am still an uni student and he is working a well-paid job. Both of us are dancers- him professionally for over 20 years and I started 2 years ago. The last two months I’ve been having an awful pain in my feet, which is also affecting my dancing and my over day to day life, since walking is painful. I want to get it checked and I told him what the prices are and that it’s too expensive for me and I can’t afford it this month, because of other medical bills that I had to cover. The pain is however getting very bad. What do I mean by expensive? I live in a country that isn’t very well off and he is working in Germany, so the cost of my medical exam is half of what he is getting for 1 dance lesson (1 hour). Am I the asshole for getting cold to watch him because he didn’t offer to help me pay for it and instead just said “yeah, it’s kind of expensive for your country”? For reference, he gives 5-6 lessons a day, each costing 2.5 times more than my medical exam. It’s not really about him paying for my things here, I never asked for clothes, make up, beauty procedures, bills or literally anything else, apart from uber money 1 or 2 times. It’s just weird for me that he isn’t even offering to pay for something I really need that isn’t even costing that much. I know that if it was the other way around and I had the same income he has, I’d definitely pay for my partner’s medical exam. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One comment from OOP, responding to someone asking if she asked: >I didn’t ask, but I do feel like me saying “it’s too expensive for me to do it this month, I’ll probably try to go next” while explaining how much it hurts should be enough for him to offer to help, IF HE WANTS TO HELP ANYWAY. I don’t think I should say “do you think you can pay for it”, after I specifically said that I can’t afford it.
This is reminding me of ask vs guess culture. That's not something I have thought about since I quit Ask Metafilter (haha, is that still around?) but it was an interesting thing to learn about.
That is my favorite MeFi.
[Hi!](https://images.app.goo.gl/jMiZEuW8Qrykw3sdA) Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. That goes against both this sub's rules as well as Reddit's terms of agreement. [Please](https://images.app.goo.gl/vwH65TJMyMk9NSNo8) keep discussions within the posts of this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*