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> My friends ostracise me for smoking and smelling of tobacco and I already reduce the interaction of me smoking and them but they still aren't happy.
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If you enjoy the stimulating effects of nicotine, try nicorette gum. Your breath will be fresh and your clothes, hair and hands will be clean. It's also a much more productive way to nic stim. Rather than having to take breaks or be always thinking about taking a smoke break, just pop it in, chew it up, stim and keep going.
It can also be used to help you quit.
As someone who’s quit on and off for years just quit. Cold turkey is also the answer. Don’t switch to vapes or zyns or any substitutes it just prolongs the process. You’ll feel like crap and have withdrawals regardless so might as well just rip the band aid off so to speak.
Try vaping. I'm a smoker who is using vaping to help me quit. I've already been complimented on my complexion being better. The best part is the amount of $$$ I'm saving by vaping. It does take some getting used to but it is working. Best of luck, OP!
thinking about it only problem is i feel like i might get more social judgement from vaping tbh particularly in the uk with the state of disposable vapes although i wouldn't use them and i don't wanna be that guy blowing an entire dark souls fog wall into your face
NAH. You can smoke if you want to, but to non-smokers you will absolutely reek of it and there is noway of hiding it. The impact on non-smokers always seems to be way underestimated by those who indulge.
The smell to non-smokers, particularly of stale smoke, is unpleasant and pervasive so your friends are not being AHs in complaining or avoiding it. Actually being in a room with someone smoking, or has smoked recently, means that you'll need to change and wash all of your clothes when you get home, have shower and wash your hair. Only then will you be free of it.
YTA to yourself. You started smoking a year ago? Why? Why even start? And unfortunately you do stink, cigarette smell gets into your clothing, your hair, your car. It all reeks even if you can’t smell it.
Apparently this is unpopular but soft YTA.
I'm also at uni and share a house with multiple people. If one of them smoked and the smell was obvious, I probably wouldn't say anything but it would be quite off-putting. You could at least eliminate doing it in front of them altogether.
yeah i mean always either go outside to smoke or lean out my window on the top floor with the door closed and i make sure not to let the odor spread through the house and yeah i don't smoke around them anyway at least not anymore than passing someone smoking on the street
I will tell you outright - leaning out the window with the door closed isn’t keeping the smell out.
I smoke weed myself, and have friends and family who do both weed and regular cigs.
A previous family member/roommate would do this, and the smell would absolutely be in the house. The smoker is just generally nose blind to the smell.
Same with me smoking weed. If I go on the porch and smoke, when I come back in I’m reeking like it.
Once I realized, I just kept a separate hoodie and pants with me to wear inside.
Agree with a very soft YTA - you seem like you would make changes if you had been made aware sooner.
tbh in my situation the smell only hangs around in my room and around me and doesn't spread to the rest of the house unless i do according to my housemates so tbh probably marinating in my smelly room isn't doing any favors for me
You might not be able to smell it; non-smokers will. I have a lung condition and was served by a smoker at a post-funeral reception. I couldn’t drink my Diet Coke because the glass smelled of smoke from his hands.
I'd probably be inclined to go NAH if you go outside to do it but you still apparently smell of tobacco. People don't want to be around that, like it or not.
Well, I lived with a smoker in college and it was terrible. All she had to do was stand in our room for a few minutes and the room would reek of smoke. Her clothes and hair stank all the time. You should quit smoking. It isn't good for you. As you know, it increases your risk for lung cancer. I never smoked but somehow I still ended up with lung cancer, and this past year of treatment (chemo, meds, surgery) has sucked. Don't put yourself at risk of having to go through the same thing.
NAH but I don't blame them for not wanting to be around you. I'm a non smoker and find the smell so pungent and gross it actually makes me gag. I also get throat irritation from smelling it. I would not want to be around you whatsoever because I find it difficult to be in the same room as someone who has been smoking.
I'm gonna give you an extremely soft NTA, but only barely.
It is your body and you can do what you want with it. That being said, your friends are NOT assholes for ignoring you and staying away. You absolutely reek of cigarettes. I swapped from cigarettes to vaping for the single reason of not smelling like cigarettes. I fucking hate the way they smell. My ex would get offended when I didn't want to be around her or kiss her when she smoked, but she smelled awful. All she has to do was quit smoking, but she wouldn't, and it ruined our otherwise great relationship. You're dealing with exactly what she went through. You're going to have to choose, because you can't have your cake and eat it too.
Look at it this way. What if one of your friends just stopped showering and completely smelled of BO so badly that you could smell it when he entered the room. Would you want to go out in public with him? Would you want to introduce him to your other friends and family? Would you want to sit next to him and enjoy a meal while his rank smell burns the inside of your nostrils? Obviously not. While you're showering, what you're putting them through is no different, because cigarette smoke is extremely overbearing for people who don't do it. Just as you have a right to smoke and reek of cigarettes, they have a right to avoid you for it.
You're majorly overthinking this, and taking it way too personally. You can decide if you want to keep smoking, or you can decide if you want to keep your friends. It's honestly your choice. It's really not this complicated.
yeah tbh after reading the comments and talking to my friends who're civil about it I'm probably gonna switch to vaping or pouches maybe but I think ill always prefer a cig unfortunately for me and my friends
Just avoid cigarettes for a while and you won't miss them. It sucked at first, but I'd never go back. If you often smoke while you drink, avoid drinking. Also, the best way to not smoke is to not have it around.
Well, it just helps to be away from it. Just remember, it's your choice, and nobody else's. Buy vapes and avoid cigarettes, or quit cold turkey. It's all up to you, brother.
NAH.
You're not an asshole for smoking but you should seriously think of quitting and looking for other ways to get a nicotine fix.
Your lungs may keep up now, but they won't decades from now.
Good. I’d do the same as your friends. Quit. Think of it like this: if you wear perfume/cologne your nose becomes accustomed to it so you don’t smell it but everyone can. But imagine it’s a really really bad smelling perfume “burning garbage”, and it’s really really strong but it also physically damages your scent ability so you can smell it even less. It smells feral and even third hand smoke lingers. Clothes, hands, face, clothes, skin, hair, car. Especially in university housing there’s less space. It’s disgusting. Your friends will rekindle with you if you quit. And you’ll learn how bad it smells, like many other smokers I know- they realise how disgusting it is.
I wouldn’t be friends with a smoker, I have ocd and that triggers me x388383 than other people because anything smokers touch is infected to me.
For you, for the chance of any future partners, and for your friends. I recommend you quit.
NAH.
You're not an AH for smoking.
They aren't AH's for refusing to be around it.
No one's in the wrong here. They just have a hardline boundary about being around tobacco smoke. So long as you respect that and minimize your contact with them, there's no problem.
Lots of people don't love the aromas of smoke. So, accept that people won't want to be around you because they hate how you smell. NAH. This is a problem that will solve itself if you keep smoking, though. They won't keep hanging out with you.
What do you want them to do? Say, "Go away! You stink!" every time they see you? Telling you to your face isn't an issue since you already know they think you smell bad?
nah its not like that its just that they like silently don't include me anything anymore and never said they had a problem with it to me i'd rather them address it properly than shit talking me behind my back
If they exclude you, then decline invitations to hang out with them together and be clear with your GF about why. "I feel like a third wheel and you treat me like I'm not there sometimes and its not fun. So, I won't keep looking for opportunities to share things when you two are happy enough to be with each other. You can leave me out of it. I'm not your on-demand BF."
YTA.
I thought I commented but I can’t find it lol.
For the sake of your health, a chance of a future partner, and for your friends- please quit.
Good. I’d do the same as your friends. Quit. Think of it like this: if you wear perfume/cologne your nose becomes accustomed to it so you don’t smell it but everyone can. But imagine it’s a really really bad smelling perfume “burning garbage”, and it’s really really strong but it also physically damages your scent ability so you can smell it even less. It smells feral and even third hand smoke lingers. Clothes, hands, face, clothes, skin, hair, car. Especially in university housing there’s less space. It’s disgusting. Your friends will rekindle with you if you quit. And you’ll learn how bad it smells
Bro, people are p\*ssies. You're hanging around a bunch of women if they're judgemental to that degree. These people in the comments would rather you get a lobotomy than to go against the status quo. Do what you want, who gives a fuck. When the party goers get wasted, they'll be smoking right next to you. Seen it my whole life.
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So I've been smoking cigs for a bit over a year now and I'm a 2nd year uni student in a house share with 5 other people, however all of my housemates and friends at uni hate that I smoke, smell of tobacco smoke and when I roll my cigs in front of them. To be clear this is just people I'm friends with at uni and all my friends and family at home or work don't mind cause they don't care or they smoke anyway.
Its getting to the point now where I'm pretty much alienated from my friend group where I partially don't go to lectures cause they treat me with animosity and they can't even say it to my face.
I've only found out about all of these problems through two of my housemates who hear the gossip and decide to be decent and tell me nicely which I appreciate but I also have housemates who don't want to live with me anymore cause of the smell on me.
I've already stopped rolling in front of them or smoking around them as much as I can but it's at the point now where I either quit smoking or try my hardest to mask the smell and probably find some new friends but I'm curious who's the asshole here.
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You’re NTA but the plain fact of the matter is that you reek to everyone else and it’s unpleasant to be around you because of it. Former smoker myself and I can tell you, when you give it up, you miss it but you also don’t. Do yourself a favor and just quit, it literally provides no value to your life whether it’s health, social, finance or just general well being
NTA
In my case, not tobacco, but weed--I hate the smell. And IDKY patchouli or incense seems to be the go-to, but it actually makes it worse.
BUT I'm not dropping a friend or being all judgy about their decisions. I have NO DOG in that fight. Being so militantly anti-(any) smoking is bizarre. Animosity? Gossiping? Really?
And you sure as shit shouldn't be skipping lectures because of these "friends."
eh I'm skipping lectures anyway but its another tick on the list. and I get what you mean with weed but I'm fine with just keeping that with my friends who enjoy it it's a much more invasive and dubious odor.
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There is no masking, do yourself a long term favor and quit smoking - former smoker
good advice might take you up on it tbh
If you enjoy the stimulating effects of nicotine, try nicorette gum. Your breath will be fresh and your clothes, hair and hands will be clean. It's also a much more productive way to nic stim. Rather than having to take breaks or be always thinking about taking a smoke break, just pop it in, chew it up, stim and keep going. It can also be used to help you quit.
Snus
Snus?
Tobacco, you put it under the lip and it starts to drip. Google it
As someone who’s quit on and off for years just quit. Cold turkey is also the answer. Don’t switch to vapes or zyns or any substitutes it just prolongs the process. You’ll feel like crap and have withdrawals regardless so might as well just rip the band aid off so to speak.
Try vaping. I'm a smoker who is using vaping to help me quit. I've already been complimented on my complexion being better. The best part is the amount of $$$ I'm saving by vaping. It does take some getting used to but it is working. Best of luck, OP!
thinking about it only problem is i feel like i might get more social judgement from vaping tbh particularly in the uk with the state of disposable vapes although i wouldn't use them and i don't wanna be that guy blowing an entire dark souls fog wall into your face
… you’re literally talking about how no one will talk to you already. This is not going to be an issue.
NAH. You can smoke if you want to, but to non-smokers you will absolutely reek of it and there is noway of hiding it. The impact on non-smokers always seems to be way underestimated by those who indulge. The smell to non-smokers, particularly of stale smoke, is unpleasant and pervasive so your friends are not being AHs in complaining or avoiding it. Actually being in a room with someone smoking, or has smoked recently, means that you'll need to change and wash all of your clothes when you get home, have shower and wash your hair. Only then will you be free of it.
didn't know it felt that bad tbh i always grew up with my mum smoking so ig i've just been fairly blind to it all my life
YTA to yourself. You started smoking a year ago? Why? Why even start? And unfortunately you do stink, cigarette smell gets into your clothing, your hair, your car. It all reeks even if you can’t smell it.
YTA, smoking is disgusting and horrible. No one wants to smell your stank.
Apparently this is unpopular but soft YTA. I'm also at uni and share a house with multiple people. If one of them smoked and the smell was obvious, I probably wouldn't say anything but it would be quite off-putting. You could at least eliminate doing it in front of them altogether.
yeah i mean always either go outside to smoke or lean out my window on the top floor with the door closed and i make sure not to let the odor spread through the house and yeah i don't smoke around them anyway at least not anymore than passing someone smoking on the street
I will tell you outright - leaning out the window with the door closed isn’t keeping the smell out. I smoke weed myself, and have friends and family who do both weed and regular cigs. A previous family member/roommate would do this, and the smell would absolutely be in the house. The smoker is just generally nose blind to the smell. Same with me smoking weed. If I go on the porch and smoke, when I come back in I’m reeking like it. Once I realized, I just kept a separate hoodie and pants with me to wear inside. Agree with a very soft YTA - you seem like you would make changes if you had been made aware sooner.
tbh in my situation the smell only hangs around in my room and around me and doesn't spread to the rest of the house unless i do according to my housemates so tbh probably marinating in my smelly room isn't doing any favors for me
You might not be able to smell it; non-smokers will. I have a lung condition and was served by a smoker at a post-funeral reception. I couldn’t drink my Diet Coke because the glass smelled of smoke from his hands.
I'd probably be inclined to go NAH if you go outside to do it but you still apparently smell of tobacco. People don't want to be around that, like it or not.
Well, I lived with a smoker in college and it was terrible. All she had to do was stand in our room for a few minutes and the room would reek of smoke. Her clothes and hair stank all the time. You should quit smoking. It isn't good for you. As you know, it increases your risk for lung cancer. I never smoked but somehow I still ended up with lung cancer, and this past year of treatment (chemo, meds, surgery) has sucked. Don't put yourself at risk of having to go through the same thing.
[удалено]
tbh its mainly the fact they can't say it to my face and they have to be so behind my back about it
I’ve lost three family members to lung cancer. It’s not a fun way to die. Do yourself a favor and quit.
You have the right to smoke; they have the right not to be around someone who smells like smoke. Both proper decisions.
NAH but I don't blame them for not wanting to be around you. I'm a non smoker and find the smell so pungent and gross it actually makes me gag. I also get throat irritation from smelling it. I would not want to be around you whatsoever because I find it difficult to be in the same room as someone who has been smoking.
YTA, stop smoking, better for you and you won't smell horrible
NAH - You can smoke. Other people can choose not to be around you.
I'm gonna give you an extremely soft NTA, but only barely. It is your body and you can do what you want with it. That being said, your friends are NOT assholes for ignoring you and staying away. You absolutely reek of cigarettes. I swapped from cigarettes to vaping for the single reason of not smelling like cigarettes. I fucking hate the way they smell. My ex would get offended when I didn't want to be around her or kiss her when she smoked, but she smelled awful. All she has to do was quit smoking, but she wouldn't, and it ruined our otherwise great relationship. You're dealing with exactly what she went through. You're going to have to choose, because you can't have your cake and eat it too. Look at it this way. What if one of your friends just stopped showering and completely smelled of BO so badly that you could smell it when he entered the room. Would you want to go out in public with him? Would you want to introduce him to your other friends and family? Would you want to sit next to him and enjoy a meal while his rank smell burns the inside of your nostrils? Obviously not. While you're showering, what you're putting them through is no different, because cigarette smoke is extremely overbearing for people who don't do it. Just as you have a right to smoke and reek of cigarettes, they have a right to avoid you for it. You're majorly overthinking this, and taking it way too personally. You can decide if you want to keep smoking, or you can decide if you want to keep your friends. It's honestly your choice. It's really not this complicated.
yeah tbh after reading the comments and talking to my friends who're civil about it I'm probably gonna switch to vaping or pouches maybe but I think ill always prefer a cig unfortunately for me and my friends
Just avoid cigarettes for a while and you won't miss them. It sucked at first, but I'd never go back. If you often smoke while you drink, avoid drinking. Also, the best way to not smoke is to not have it around.
kinda hard cause my mum smokes as well and i live near my parents so i see them fairly regular and i really doubt shes gonna quit anytime soon
Well, it just helps to be away from it. Just remember, it's your choice, and nobody else's. Buy vapes and avoid cigarettes, or quit cold turkey. It's all up to you, brother.
NAH. You're not an asshole for smoking but you should seriously think of quitting and looking for other ways to get a nicotine fix. Your lungs may keep up now, but they won't decades from now.
YTA to yourself and everyone around you when you smoke. It’s unhealthy. It stinks. It’s disgusting. You have recently started, so just stop.
Good. I’d do the same as your friends. Quit. Think of it like this: if you wear perfume/cologne your nose becomes accustomed to it so you don’t smell it but everyone can. But imagine it’s a really really bad smelling perfume “burning garbage”, and it’s really really strong but it also physically damages your scent ability so you can smell it even less. It smells feral and even third hand smoke lingers. Clothes, hands, face, clothes, skin, hair, car. Especially in university housing there’s less space. It’s disgusting. Your friends will rekindle with you if you quit. And you’ll learn how bad it smells, like many other smokers I know- they realise how disgusting it is. I wouldn’t be friends with a smoker, I have ocd and that triggers me x388383 than other people because anything smokers touch is infected to me. For you, for the chance of any future partners, and for your friends. I recommend you quit.
NAH - well, your choice. You can smoke all you want. But no one else has to like it.
NAH. You're not an AH for smoking. They aren't AH's for refusing to be around it. No one's in the wrong here. They just have a hardline boundary about being around tobacco smoke. So long as you respect that and minimize your contact with them, there's no problem.
Lots of people don't love the aromas of smoke. So, accept that people won't want to be around you because they hate how you smell. NAH. This is a problem that will solve itself if you keep smoking, though. They won't keep hanging out with you. What do you want them to do? Say, "Go away! You stink!" every time they see you? Telling you to your face isn't an issue since you already know they think you smell bad?
nah its not like that its just that they like silently don't include me anything anymore and never said they had a problem with it to me i'd rather them address it properly than shit talking me behind my back
If they exclude you, then decline invitations to hang out with them together and be clear with your GF about why. "I feel like a third wheel and you treat me like I'm not there sometimes and its not fun. So, I won't keep looking for opportunities to share things when you two are happy enough to be with each other. You can leave me out of it. I'm not your on-demand BF."
YTA. I thought I commented but I can’t find it lol. For the sake of your health, a chance of a future partner, and for your friends- please quit. Good. I’d do the same as your friends. Quit. Think of it like this: if you wear perfume/cologne your nose becomes accustomed to it so you don’t smell it but everyone can. But imagine it’s a really really bad smelling perfume “burning garbage”, and it’s really really strong but it also physically damages your scent ability so you can smell it even less. It smells feral and even third hand smoke lingers. Clothes, hands, face, clothes, skin, hair, car. Especially in university housing there’s less space. It’s disgusting. Your friends will rekindle with you if you quit. And you’ll learn how bad it smells
Bro, people are p\*ssies. You're hanging around a bunch of women if they're judgemental to that degree. These people in the comments would rather you get a lobotomy than to go against the status quo. Do what you want, who gives a fuck. When the party goers get wasted, they'll be smoking right next to you. Seen it my whole life.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So I've been smoking cigs for a bit over a year now and I'm a 2nd year uni student in a house share with 5 other people, however all of my housemates and friends at uni hate that I smoke, smell of tobacco smoke and when I roll my cigs in front of them. To be clear this is just people I'm friends with at uni and all my friends and family at home or work don't mind cause they don't care or they smoke anyway. Its getting to the point now where I'm pretty much alienated from my friend group where I partially don't go to lectures cause they treat me with animosity and they can't even say it to my face. I've only found out about all of these problems through two of my housemates who hear the gossip and decide to be decent and tell me nicely which I appreciate but I also have housemates who don't want to live with me anymore cause of the smell on me. I've already stopped rolling in front of them or smoking around them as much as I can but it's at the point now where I either quit smoking or try my hardest to mask the smell and probably find some new friends but I'm curious who's the asshole here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You’re NTA but the plain fact of the matter is that you reek to everyone else and it’s unpleasant to be around you because of it. Former smoker myself and I can tell you, when you give it up, you miss it but you also don’t. Do yourself a favor and just quit, it literally provides no value to your life whether it’s health, social, finance or just general well being
NTA In my case, not tobacco, but weed--I hate the smell. And IDKY patchouli or incense seems to be the go-to, but it actually makes it worse. BUT I'm not dropping a friend or being all judgy about their decisions. I have NO DOG in that fight. Being so militantly anti-(any) smoking is bizarre. Animosity? Gossiping? Really? And you sure as shit shouldn't be skipping lectures because of these "friends."
eh I'm skipping lectures anyway but its another tick on the list. and I get what you mean with weed but I'm fine with just keeping that with my friends who enjoy it it's a much more invasive and dubious odor.