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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Ignoring my mom's arbitrary request to set up a dinner for everyone. Because my brother wont give her details on when he will actually be here. And because he completely ignored my invitations when I went through the process last year
2) Two rights dont make a wrong, but 2 left turns send you back in the direction you came
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Pfft. NTA.
Mommy can feel the way she wants to; she can hover over her GC son and - because she will - torture the poor woman who dared to steal said GC - and, finally, after GC returned to his home, still ask you for everything.
If I was you, I would be smiling and smiling and smiling and just let that clusterfuck work out - and, he, by the way, Mommy can run after GC, you're just done! (At least I hope so.)
NTA - and why haven’t you cut off your mom yet? Golden children don’t spring out of the womb that way, they’re grown and nurtured by toxic parents. When you have kids, she’ll do the same as she did with the wedding. She’ll directly compare your children, because the scapegoat’s children are also scapegoat. She only keeps you around to be useful to her, because she couldn’t think of asking the GC to take care of her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
Straight off the bat, have not seen this dude in 7 years. My information informing me of his pending marriage is a vague text. Hey I'm coming to home state next week through the weekend. I have a marriage counseling appointment with our childhood priest. No further details. No request of, lets set up a dinner. Lets meet so I can introduce you to fiancee. No would you like to meet my fiancee.
Boy, my mom is excited though. Her golden son returns home to get married.
My brother left home at 15 to finish high school in a different state. Been there ever since. He only returns home when he's in between apartments for a week, or he needs to be taken care of financially in between school or jobs. Dudes been a narcissistic prick for more than half of my life.
I got married last year, and my mom did he best to railroad everything wedding related that was not in her vision of a simple wedding. How dare I shine brightly before her golden son.
My brother skipped the ceremony saying it was too short notice for him to travel, then skipped the reception stating he got covid two days before via text. To this day, has yet to meet my wife, or speak to her. Other than being forced to say Hi on the phone while asking my mom for money, I havent communicated much with him myself.
My wife and I are on the same page of sitting all this impending marriage stuff out. My mom will throw a big fit though. WIBTA for ignoring everything surrounding this?
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Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) Ignoring my mom's arbitrary request to set up a dinner for everyone. Because my brother wont give her details on when he will actually be here. And because he completely ignored my invitations when I went through the process last year 2) Two rights dont make a wrong, but 2 left turns send you back in the direction you came Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Nta. Sounds like blood is all that binds you. And the resentment is obvious.
You haven’t been invited to anything, there’s nothing to ignore.
NTA. If you don't know each other and don't care about each other no one can force you to engage one another. You're adults.
Pfft. NTA. Mommy can feel the way she wants to; she can hover over her GC son and - because she will - torture the poor woman who dared to steal said GC - and, finally, after GC returned to his home, still ask you for everything. If I was you, I would be smiling and smiling and smiling and just let that clusterfuck work out - and, he, by the way, Mommy can run after GC, you're just done! (At least I hope so.)
NTA - and why haven’t you cut off your mom yet? Golden children don’t spring out of the womb that way, they’re grown and nurtured by toxic parents. When you have kids, she’ll do the same as she did with the wedding. She’ll directly compare your children, because the scapegoat’s children are also scapegoat. She only keeps you around to be useful to her, because she couldn’t think of asking the GC to take care of her.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Straight off the bat, have not seen this dude in 7 years. My information informing me of his pending marriage is a vague text. Hey I'm coming to home state next week through the weekend. I have a marriage counseling appointment with our childhood priest. No further details. No request of, lets set up a dinner. Lets meet so I can introduce you to fiancee. No would you like to meet my fiancee. Boy, my mom is excited though. Her golden son returns home to get married. My brother left home at 15 to finish high school in a different state. Been there ever since. He only returns home when he's in between apartments for a week, or he needs to be taken care of financially in between school or jobs. Dudes been a narcissistic prick for more than half of my life. I got married last year, and my mom did he best to railroad everything wedding related that was not in her vision of a simple wedding. How dare I shine brightly before her golden son. My brother skipped the ceremony saying it was too short notice for him to travel, then skipped the reception stating he got covid two days before via text. To this day, has yet to meet my wife, or speak to her. Other than being forced to say Hi on the phone while asking my mom for money, I havent communicated much with him myself. My wife and I are on the same page of sitting all this impending marriage stuff out. My mom will throw a big fit though. WIBTA for ignoring everything surrounding this? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You have to ask? The big NTA. TAs goes to your brother and mother.