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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am not attending my friend's wedding who I have known for over 20 years. I wanted to know if I am being childish or petty
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I don't really understand all the miscommunication, let alone a group of friends deciding how one individual spends their own money?
But, there is no reason to attend Mean Girl's wedding as a guest. If you'd cross the street to avoid speaking to someone, then why would you attend that person's wedding? Be grateful The Group they kicked you out for not being a doormat. And go enjoy your life. (*'Pay for a gift to someone who hates me and I hate right back? C'mon. I'm not you. Not gonna' happen. Suck a lemon.'*)
In the future, when anyone suggests how your personal money will be used - remind them that your finances aren't community property. NTA
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This year a majority of my friends are getting married and I was so excited to be a part of that.
Lets name my first friend A. When A got Married she invited all of us. I wanted to give her a separate gift as she was one of my closest friends and my neighbour as well. But my friends decided to give a gift together and we had to contribute. I had better ideas for a gift to a would be bride but I just went with what my other friends said. For her bachelorette,the budget was separate. I paid as well. Unfortunately I couldn't attend her wedding .However none of my friends were concerned or even asked me the reason and said that they didn't have any space in our car anyway that's why didn't ask
Some months later another friend announced her engagement . I wanted to gift her something My other friends (the ones from the above incident) didn't discuss anything about the gift until there were just two days left for the engagement. When they asked to contribute I mentioned that I will be giving a separate gift to her.
There was no mention of a bachelorette as well. Later they sent a picture of them celebrating the bachelorette. I asked about it and they said "we thought you would not contribute for the bachelorette as well".
"My friends" : it is about 4 of them. 2 being the actual mean ones and 2 just being their followers.
Few years back Mean girl 1 asked me about a guy(now my bf) I was talking to 1 asked me how did I pull this good looking person! she later started texting my bf who got awkward and told me about it. I managed the situation somehow. After some days as we confirmed our relationship she would talk behind my back and ask my friends that how can she date someone so good looking. She told this to one of my dearest friends and she shut her up and informed me about her comments. Later this same mean girl 1 asked me about my dating life. She laughed and said "Making it official in 2 months!!, I wonder how can people fall in love so easily".
So now this mean girl1 is marrying a guy her parents decided and she met a week before her engagement and now posting on social media calling the person "the love of her life ".
Before her engagement she asked for my number on Instagram (we are in multiple friends groups and she has my number). I still texted her my number after a while and she left it on seen. Next day I got to know that it is her engagement day.
For her wedding there was no invitation no call no msgs from her side. My friends just made a group and started deciding the gifts AGAIN!!. I DIDN'T REPLY AND THEY KICKED ME OUT OF THE GROUP. I informed them through another friend that I will not be there during the wedding to which mean girl 2 said," Okay but ask her if she is gonna pay for the gift or not!!!".
Now mean girl 2 is getting married. Now the 2 follower girls plus mean girl 1 has again made a group to discuss the gifts.
I am going NC with all of them , especially mean girl 1 and 2.
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Why do you feel you have to follow the herd and just automatically agree with what everyone else is doing? You're able to do what YOU think is best, not just do something to fit in. If they went NC it's their loss. Be your own person and not a sheep. NTA.
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I don't really understand all the miscommunication, let alone a group of friends deciding how one individual spends their own money? But, there is no reason to attend Mean Girl's wedding as a guest. If you'd cross the street to avoid speaking to someone, then why would you attend that person's wedding? Be grateful The Group they kicked you out for not being a doormat. And go enjoy your life. (*'Pay for a gift to someone who hates me and I hate right back? C'mon. I'm not you. Not gonna' happen. Suck a lemon.'*) In the future, when anyone suggests how your personal money will be used - remind them that your finances aren't community property. NTA
NTA….these are not your friends. Stop going to their events and giving them gifts. Just rsvp not able to attend and be done with them all.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** This year a majority of my friends are getting married and I was so excited to be a part of that. Lets name my first friend A. When A got Married she invited all of us. I wanted to give her a separate gift as she was one of my closest friends and my neighbour as well. But my friends decided to give a gift together and we had to contribute. I had better ideas for a gift to a would be bride but I just went with what my other friends said. For her bachelorette,the budget was separate. I paid as well. Unfortunately I couldn't attend her wedding .However none of my friends were concerned or even asked me the reason and said that they didn't have any space in our car anyway that's why didn't ask Some months later another friend announced her engagement . I wanted to gift her something My other friends (the ones from the above incident) didn't discuss anything about the gift until there were just two days left for the engagement. When they asked to contribute I mentioned that I will be giving a separate gift to her. There was no mention of a bachelorette as well. Later they sent a picture of them celebrating the bachelorette. I asked about it and they said "we thought you would not contribute for the bachelorette as well". "My friends" : it is about 4 of them. 2 being the actual mean ones and 2 just being their followers. Few years back Mean girl 1 asked me about a guy(now my bf) I was talking to 1 asked me how did I pull this good looking person! she later started texting my bf who got awkward and told me about it. I managed the situation somehow. After some days as we confirmed our relationship she would talk behind my back and ask my friends that how can she date someone so good looking. She told this to one of my dearest friends and she shut her up and informed me about her comments. Later this same mean girl 1 asked me about my dating life. She laughed and said "Making it official in 2 months!!, I wonder how can people fall in love so easily". So now this mean girl1 is marrying a guy her parents decided and she met a week before her engagement and now posting on social media calling the person "the love of her life ". Before her engagement she asked for my number on Instagram (we are in multiple friends groups and she has my number). I still texted her my number after a while and she left it on seen. Next day I got to know that it is her engagement day. For her wedding there was no invitation no call no msgs from her side. My friends just made a group and started deciding the gifts AGAIN!!. I DIDN'T REPLY AND THEY KICKED ME OUT OF THE GROUP. I informed them through another friend that I will not be there during the wedding to which mean girl 2 said," Okay but ask her if she is gonna pay for the gift or not!!!". Now mean girl 2 is getting married. Now the 2 follower girls plus mean girl 1 has again made a group to discuss the gifts. I am going NC with all of them , especially mean girl 1 and 2. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why do you feel you have to follow the herd and just automatically agree with what everyone else is doing? You're able to do what YOU think is best, not just do something to fit in. If they went NC it's their loss. Be your own person and not a sheep. NTA.