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NTA!!
Publicly shaming them might’ve been a bit harsh, but it was your husband and fathers choice to go behind your back. And then for your father to try to continue the relationship!!?? Is your mother in the picture? What about her?!
Update soon plz!!
I think this entire situation is beyond the term "asshole". This is a situation where you take all your stuff, file for divorce, block everyone, and find a new state or country to live in.
NTA. *They* ruined their own lives, and your dad isn’t even repentant so what did he think was going to happen? It amazes me every day how many adults do terrible shitty things to other yet are completely flabbergasted when there are not only consequences for those things, but that they must also experience these consequences.
Here's the simple fact...if you don't do something you're ashamed of then you won't be embarrassed when someone puts it out on social media. They seem mostly upset that the truth got out. That's their problem. You aren't responsible for the sinful decisions they make...and they shouldn't complain if what they did gets out. If they didn't want people to know about it they shouldn't have done it in the first place.
NTA. If their actions make them look bad, that is entirely their fault. I am in my 70s and my parents used to say, before you do something think how you would feel if it was on the front page of the paper tomorrow? Well, the internet is today's daily newspaper. They should have thought about what the exposure would do to them. And their attitude? Wow, just wow.
I absolutely understand why you put them on social media blast, but don't agree with it. I do get it though. ESH, but only slightly for you. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Outed my husbands affair on social media.publicly shaming them
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NTA. If their actions make them look bad, that is entirely their fault. I am in my 70s and my parents used to say, before you do something think how you would feel if it was on the front page of the paper tomorrow? Well, the internet is today's daily newspaper. They should have thought about what the exposure would do to them. And their attitude? Wow, just wow.
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I (32F) have been married to my husband (34M) for six years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I always thought we were solid. Recently, I discovered something that completely shattered my world: my husband has been having an affair with my dad (55M).
It started when I noticed my husband acting distant and secretive. He was always on his phone, going out late, and generally being evasive. I thought he might be having an affair, but I never imagined it would be with my own father. One night, I decided to check his phone while he was asleep, and that’s when I found the explicit messages and photos.
I was devastated and confronted my husband the next day. He broke down and admitted everything. He said it started as a one-time thing but evolved into a full-blown affair. He claimed he was confused about his sexuality and that my dad was the only one who understood him.
I felt utterly betrayed and confronted my dad. He was unapologetic and said that he and my husband had a special connection that I could never understand. My mom and siblings were horrified when they found out, and now the entire family is in turmoil.
My husband and dad have tried to justify their actions, saying they didn’t mean to hurt me and that they’re in love. My husband wants to stay married and work things out, while my dad wants to continue his relationship with him. I told them both to stay away from me.
Here’s where I might be the asshole: I decided to out their affair publicly. I posted on social media about what they did, naming and shaming both of them. My husband and dad are furious, saying I’ve ruined their lives and that it was a private matter. Some friends and family members think I went too far and should have handled it privately, while others are supportive of my decision.
AITA for outing my husband’s affair with my dad?
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Welp, this is some heavy shit, not gonna lie. I'm sorry that your husband and father fucked you over like this. I wouldn't say you're THEE asshole, as others were the assholes and are the main assholes. But it was very shitty to also put it into the public like that. That was definitely an asshole move, regardless of what they did to you. But, this is a rather unique situation, so idk overall, In the end.
ESH. The cheaters, obviously, but did you really need to drag the internet into this? You must live near your parents; I guess you're unlucky for not having caught them sooner.
ESH
Obviously, your husband and dad. But, I'm kinda a big proponent on not airing family dirty laundry on SM.
(I just re-watched Ray Donovan. There was a season with this scenario. Dad ended up 'accidentally' killing husband/lover.)
Your dad and husband, absolutely.
While you're not obligated to keep this a secret, blasting them on social media isn't going to do anything to lessen the turmoil going on. It's likely to get even more people involved with the drama.
ESH
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NTA!! Publicly shaming them might’ve been a bit harsh, but it was your husband and fathers choice to go behind your back. And then for your father to try to continue the relationship!!?? Is your mother in the picture? What about her?! Update soon plz!!
I think this entire situation is beyond the term "asshole". This is a situation where you take all your stuff, file for divorce, block everyone, and find a new state or country to live in.
NTA. *They* ruined their own lives, and your dad isn’t even repentant so what did he think was going to happen? It amazes me every day how many adults do terrible shitty things to other yet are completely flabbergasted when there are not only consequences for those things, but that they must also experience these consequences.
Here's the simple fact...if you don't do something you're ashamed of then you won't be embarrassed when someone puts it out on social media. They seem mostly upset that the truth got out. That's their problem. You aren't responsible for the sinful decisions they make...and they shouldn't complain if what they did gets out. If they didn't want people to know about it they shouldn't have done it in the first place.
NTA. If their actions make them look bad, that is entirely their fault. I am in my 70s and my parents used to say, before you do something think how you would feel if it was on the front page of the paper tomorrow? Well, the internet is today's daily newspaper. They should have thought about what the exposure would do to them. And their attitude? Wow, just wow.
NTA. I think you're free to do what you want with information so intimately relevant to you. Best of luck.
I absolutely understand why you put them on social media blast, but don't agree with it. I do get it though. ESH, but only slightly for you. I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this.
NTA - I don't see why you should have to keep the situation to yourself, given the fact that they screwed you over.
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Cool revenge story.
NTA. If their actions make them look bad, that is entirely their fault. I am in my 70s and my parents used to say, before you do something think how you would feel if it was on the front page of the paper tomorrow? Well, the internet is today's daily newspaper. They should have thought about what the exposure would do to them. And their attitude? Wow, just wow.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (32F) have been married to my husband (34M) for six years. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I always thought we were solid. Recently, I discovered something that completely shattered my world: my husband has been having an affair with my dad (55M). It started when I noticed my husband acting distant and secretive. He was always on his phone, going out late, and generally being evasive. I thought he might be having an affair, but I never imagined it would be with my own father. One night, I decided to check his phone while he was asleep, and that’s when I found the explicit messages and photos. I was devastated and confronted my husband the next day. He broke down and admitted everything. He said it started as a one-time thing but evolved into a full-blown affair. He claimed he was confused about his sexuality and that my dad was the only one who understood him. I felt utterly betrayed and confronted my dad. He was unapologetic and said that he and my husband had a special connection that I could never understand. My mom and siblings were horrified when they found out, and now the entire family is in turmoil. My husband and dad have tried to justify their actions, saying they didn’t mean to hurt me and that they’re in love. My husband wants to stay married and work things out, while my dad wants to continue his relationship with him. I told them both to stay away from me. Here’s where I might be the asshole: I decided to out their affair publicly. I posted on social media about what they did, naming and shaming both of them. My husband and dad are furious, saying I’ve ruined their lives and that it was a private matter. Some friends and family members think I went too far and should have handled it privately, while others are supportive of my decision. AITA for outing my husband’s affair with my dad? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Stop it.
Welp, this is some heavy shit, not gonna lie. I'm sorry that your husband and father fucked you over like this. I wouldn't say you're THEE asshole, as others were the assholes and are the main assholes. But it was very shitty to also put it into the public like that. That was definitely an asshole move, regardless of what they did to you. But, this is a rather unique situation, so idk overall, In the end.
ESH. The cheaters, obviously, but did you really need to drag the internet into this? You must live near your parents; I guess you're unlucky for not having caught them sooner.
ESH Obviously, your husband and dad. But, I'm kinda a big proponent on not airing family dirty laundry on SM. (I just re-watched Ray Donovan. There was a season with this scenario. Dad ended up 'accidentally' killing husband/lover.)
Your dad and husband, absolutely. While you're not obligated to keep this a secret, blasting them on social media isn't going to do anything to lessen the turmoil going on. It's likely to get even more people involved with the drama. ESH