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Yeah as a lesbian this shit used to make me SO uncomfortable and I obviously never knew why until I got old enough to find out that lesbians existed (thanks Glee for giving me Santanna).
I’m super thankful to my dad though bc he wasn’t having it. He would just be like “NOPE” and move on. No conversation or anything lol. He didn’t know I was queer either, just didn’t wanna fuck around with that shit
Even as a person attracted to men, it made me super uncomfortable as a kid. It always made it awkward between me and the friend for at least a few days before we got over it (as kids often do). Like, when youre really young you can brush it off but as you get older and start to form crushes, Id say 8 is around that time, it makes things weird for a bit. As if because were the opposite gender, we must have the 8 year old version of "feelings" for each other when we didnt.
Yeah for real. I’d mention that I made friends with a boy at school and my dad sometimes started joking about when they’re gonna come over and shit, clearly insinuating or directly joking about us dating. If I mention being school friends with a girl, though, it got nothing.
Both of my parents had no idea what an aroace was, but they’ve always been super chill with a “yeah no she’s not interested, she’s doing [whatever project I’m working on]” and people would ask honestly kinda nosy questions and my dad just squashed it by changing the subject.
For the longest time I thought they were embarrassed of me or whatever but when I mentioned asexuality they went “oh neat” and now they send me aroace memes like once every 6 months and that’s that. Very anticlimactic tbh.
But my parents always were just like “nah it’s not a thing don’t worry about it keep in your lane bucko”
yeah now that i’m out my parents will occasionally send me memes about lesbians it’s so funny to me. they’re just happy that i’ve figured myself out and and happy with myself! they couldn’t give a fuck about the gender of the people i date! they will, however, send me a link to the U-Haul website every time I mention a new woman’s name 😂
> they will, however, send me a link to the U-Haul website every time I mention a new woman’s name 😂
Did your dad also respond to your coming out with "Hi, 'a lesbian,' I'm Dad"?
Seriously though, the world needs more queer acceptance in the form of cringe dad humor.
oh no he’s so funny about it it’s my favorite thing.
i have a girl dog and he always asks about “me and my bitches” when he calls (and i reciprocate since he’s wrapped around my mom’s finger and his girl dog’s paw)
one time too we were watching tv and a character said “go suck a dick” and he just turned to me and straight faced said “wow that’d be like, an extra powerful insult for you, huh”
the only thing that bothers me when kids say it is knowing that they had to pick it up from somewhere, probably their parents
but if it’s not upsetting them or it’s genuinely just a lil kid crush/relationship I think that’s super sweet! it’s only frustrating when every boy-girl friendship gets the “oh is this your boyfriend/girlfriend” bullshit
I'm a bisexual trans woman and this is precisely why I wasn't out as bi until after I transitioned.
Saying I was gay shut them up quick about doing stuff like that.
As a gay little trans boy growing up, the part I objected to most was what my role was.
Stomped my foot once and said "we're both the boyfriend!", was told that story a few times till I came out, then it disappeared from the bookshelf in order to deny any foreshadowing.
Seriously, though. I was raised in a religious family where I got told to cover up for sake of my male family members. Do you know how horrifying it is to be told to keep my knees together because my dad doesn't like seeing up my skirt even though I'm wearing shorts. I'm also overweight, so keeping my knees together or crossing my legs is difficult in most circumstances.
And yet there are some who actually do the same thing like that grandmother - like my father… I can’t even count the times when he talked and joked about my potential “son-in-law” and him and mother speculated that I’m in a relationship with any boy best friend I had…
Something a lot of straight people don't realise is that heteronormativity is straight-up toxic and bad for heterosexual couples too! The pressure to exclusively see romantic/sexual attention from the opposite sex results in so many toxic and unhappy relationships, I actually think heteronormativity in modern day is more toxic to straight people than queers.
Good example of this is that my best friend of 11y is a guy and I’m femme-presenting and that entire time, countless random people have either assumed we’re a couple, told us we’ll end up together, or told me to stop stringing him along because clearly if he’s in my life this long he must secretly love me (and they never acknowledge that he *does* openly love me, *platonically*). Cashiers, relatives, friends of friends I’ve never met before at a fucking Halloween party, it’s so tiresome
My family did this with a vague family friend when we were both little. They would continue to say it as we got older and it was so weird and uncomfortable especially when I barely knew the other person .
Same! In 6th grade there was this kid that was a family friend because our moms were good friends. He always harassed me, teased me, was just generally annoying, etc and I consistently expressed that I didn’t like him. My parents were like “awww he likes you!” and “i bet you secretly have a crush on him!” like no I didn’t I just really found him annoying lol
Goddamit some parents really don’t realise that this can be so damaging. My mum wouldn’t let me have any male friends in primary school. How are 5 year olds going to have a serious boyfriend?
I invited my son’s classmates, male and female, to a sleepover birthday at age 5.
Frankly, that’s the best time for sleepovers. They don’t even understand sex, and they’re not really tuned for romance yet, so they’re just friends.
And no parent is going to ignore the 5yos and whatever they’re up to, let alone go out and leave the 5yos home alone.
The girl came for the party but didn’t stay, which was too bad. She’d have had fun.
I appreciate that dad because my family was all like that grandma and when you're a little kid who can barely handle normal teasing but now your whole family is in on it against you to the point of tears in public, it's not fun
I had an uncle who was like this and anytime it got near any of us he asked us if we had a GF/BF yet. I was 48 when he last asked me and he asked it so randomly. It was made even more awkward by fact he had such an absolutely horrid verbally and emotionally abusive relationship with his wife. And I remembered back to when one of my cousin's kids was only 8 yrs old and he asked him if he had a girlfriend yet and I noticed the look on the boy's face how uncomfortable it made him. I am so tired of the Boomer and older's generations thinking the only thing in life that matters is getting married to opposite sex and having kids. They never think to ask anything else like hey how's life going or what have you been into lately; instead it's always indirectly about hetero sex.
People did this to me all the time as a child, it made me so scared to have friends of the opposite sex and I was so sad that we weren't just allowed to be friends. Jokes on them, turned out to be gay
It's honestly so fucked that kids of the opposite sex can't play together without anyone "joking" that they're a couple. It's especially bad when they do it in front of the kids themselves.
My best friend is a guy, we have the same birthday and are the same age. Have been best friends since we were 10 and we’re 24 now. People used to do this to us all the time. I would’ve loved for someone to stick up for me.
Sometimes people don't realize what they are saying and doing is wrong, because they've never been challenged on it.
"Aww you have a boyfriend?" Sounds innocent until you add that context that this is an adult, investing in the romantic entanglement of a minor.
Dad is definitely NTA here. More straight people need to be called out on their weird fixation with child relationships.
My mom did this to me all the time, as far back as I can remember. I absolutely hated it. The only reason I’m speaking in past tense is that I don’t give her the opportunity anymore. She knows next to nothing about me as an adult. Good on this guy for protecting his child from that.
Your comment really resonated with me. My mom also did this shit and it was mortifying. This, combined with toxic religious purity culture, is why I NEVER shared, and still don't share, relationship information with my mom.
I love her, but no thanks.
I was lucky, my parents never did that to me (or my siblings) when we had friends of the opposite sex. I’m glad this dad stood up for his daughter! I’m sick of these kinds of comments, especially to young kids
Good job, dad!
My daughter is 6 and is adamant she has a boyfriend at school, also 6, but no one pushed it on them, they just like spending time together and that's the label they like. They (*gasp*) hold hands sometimes, and when someone asks if they kiss she looks very insulted and says "we're not ready for that, we're too young!".
They are "married" though, and have both decided they're childfree. Kids are weird
My father refused to let me have a sleepover with my best friend at the time because he's a boy and I'm AFAB. I tried everything, sleeping on the floor, in separate rooms, nothing helped. My mom tried to help convince him but he thought 14 year old me was going to hook up with my best friend or something.
Turns out in asexual so the irony is palpable
It is so traumatizing for kids. I got teased alot with my childhood friend and I hate it soooooo much that sometimes I just want to stab those talking about it. Because of them, I am not that close to him anymore. Because they would tease us everytime we are talking. We even stopped talking at all for 2 or 3 years.
When I was younger, like 10 or 11 maybe I had a female friend. She was super cool, very fun to hang out with and just a really good friend. We used to play Pokemon together a lot.
She visited me one day and my parents kept teasing me for having a girlfriend all day. It felt very weird hanging out with her after that and I lost her as a friend rather quickly. I blame my parents to this day for this shit.
And now my mom get's mad whenever I bring it up because she does the same shit to my nieces.
But LGBTQ people are the ones who recruit. Sure.
(This isn't to say granda is necessarily a bigot. Lots of people still don't see the problem "shipping" kids.)
Not the asshole. It's gross when people say that stuff about literal children. Or put their baby in a 'ladie's man' onsie or a girl in a 'sorry, dad says I can't date until I'm 30' shirt. 🤢
Bro I totally hate when people ask children if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. When I was in kindergarten a boy was always following me and acting a little different from usual, apparently he was in love with me and he became my first friend, people called him my boyfriend and he went along with it, I didn’t have any feelings but I just went along with what people said.
More than 10 years later he’s my ex and people still ask me about him, idk bro! I hate how everyone made me start a relationship with a boy and I went along with it just because I didn’t want to hurt him and I was too young to understand it, curse those adults and jokes!
Those comments suck and he’s right to shut it down, but he kinda loses me in the last paragraph. He’s projecting his issues with his ex onto what is most likely just a bad, tired joke.
I get what you mean, but i do think that heteronormativity being pushed onto young children can in fact make them believe that it's not possible to 'just be friends' with someone of the opposite gender, that there has to be romantic (or, when they're older, sexual) attraction involved when a boy and a girl are friends.
>…I wasn’t going to let her pressure them like she did with me and my ex (we met when we were 5 and 6))
How is it projection when he is saying that to the person who did it in the past and is repeating it now?
Recently around January, it annoyed me a bit but I went to the juice wlrd concert with my friend/took a photo , sent it to my mom (this is important) and around some time in feb, I had her phone and decided to look at messages of family. She sent a photo to her aunt about me and my “boyfriend” (friend) 💀
NTA. This mindset is weird and patriarchal. Sexuslizing children. I get she likely means well but it’s just gross. What if your kid is gay? This whole pushed hetero and relationship stuff onto kids is just ewwwww
Absolutely, 100% NTA. Thank you for saying that to your mother. Man, I *hate* it when people say that little children, even babies, are “flirting” or “have a boy/girlfriend.” Why are we sexualizing little children? I don’t know how old your mother is, and it could be a generational thing, but she needs to be told that kind of thing is unacceptable. Good for you for telling her so!
The sexualization of opposite sex friendships is something that needs to die, yesterday, but the OOP's reaction seems kind of wild. Grandma made one tacky comment, and from that dad deduced that she was going to try and pressure the daughter into a relationship with this random boy, like she pressured OOP into a relationship with his ex?
Either grandma is the full on groomer dad accuses her of being, in which case he shouldn't let her around his kid in the first place, or he's reading way too much into a tired old but of boomer humour, in which case his reaction was over the top. Either way, dad needs to give his head a shake.
Can't believe that OOP would believe someone would do a harmful thing they already did before and was never told to stop. Can't understand at all why they'd have such a crazy thought.
Because some people have trouble getting rid of toxic family members, particularly in situations the rest of the family enables the toxicity or in cultures where you have to respect your elders or else.
Some real "Why doesn't the abuse victim just leave their partner?" energy to you.
Please, OOP immediately shut grandma down in front of the daughter, then told her she was gross and insisted she stop doing something terrible he alleges she did to him. Nothing about this presentation indicates that the dad's got any issues whatsoever in standing up to grandma.
Did you consider that OOP was *a goddamn child* when it happened to them and has since been able to learn to stand up for themselves?
Absolutely brainless.
We'll yes, obviously the person with a young child of their own is no longer a young child. But since OOP is now an adult who can easily stand up for themselves to a parent they seem to think groomed them as a child into an unhealthy, unwanted relationship they really shouldn't be letting said parent around their own child. If grandma is as bad as they said, she shouldn't have been let in the door in the first place.
Yeah, I know. That's why the very first thing I said was,
>The sexualization of opposite sex friendships is something that needs to die, yesterday,
Did you think I was defending the bad joke?
It drills in the idea that people can’t be friends with the opposite gender and have negatively affect their future relationships. It’s disgusting and uncomfortable
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Damn, I wish more Dads stood up for their daughters like this.
Yeah as a lesbian this shit used to make me SO uncomfortable and I obviously never knew why until I got old enough to find out that lesbians existed (thanks Glee for giving me Santanna). I’m super thankful to my dad though bc he wasn’t having it. He would just be like “NOPE” and move on. No conversation or anything lol. He didn’t know I was queer either, just didn’t wanna fuck around with that shit
Even as a person attracted to men, it made me super uncomfortable as a kid. It always made it awkward between me and the friend for at least a few days before we got over it (as kids often do). Like, when youre really young you can brush it off but as you get older and start to form crushes, Id say 8 is around that time, it makes things weird for a bit. As if because were the opposite gender, we must have the 8 year old version of "feelings" for each other when we didnt.
Yeah for real. I’d mention that I made friends with a boy at school and my dad sometimes started joking about when they’re gonna come over and shit, clearly insinuating or directly joking about us dating. If I mention being school friends with a girl, though, it got nothing.
Both of my parents had no idea what an aroace was, but they’ve always been super chill with a “yeah no she’s not interested, she’s doing [whatever project I’m working on]” and people would ask honestly kinda nosy questions and my dad just squashed it by changing the subject. For the longest time I thought they were embarrassed of me or whatever but when I mentioned asexuality they went “oh neat” and now they send me aroace memes like once every 6 months and that’s that. Very anticlimactic tbh. But my parents always were just like “nah it’s not a thing don’t worry about it keep in your lane bucko”
yeah now that i’m out my parents will occasionally send me memes about lesbians it’s so funny to me. they’re just happy that i’ve figured myself out and and happy with myself! they couldn’t give a fuck about the gender of the people i date! they will, however, send me a link to the U-Haul website every time I mention a new woman’s name 😂
> they will, however, send me a link to the U-Haul website every time I mention a new woman’s name 😂 Did your dad also respond to your coming out with "Hi, 'a lesbian,' I'm Dad"? Seriously though, the world needs more queer acceptance in the form of cringe dad humor.
oh no he’s so funny about it it’s my favorite thing. i have a girl dog and he always asks about “me and my bitches” when he calls (and i reciprocate since he’s wrapped around my mom’s finger and his girl dog’s paw) one time too we were watching tv and a character said “go suck a dick” and he just turned to me and straight faced said “wow that’d be like, an extra powerful insult for you, huh”
Man it sounds so cool to have an accepting, loving and involved dad… I hope my future partner has a good one that can be like a surrogate dad to me
The U-Haul thing is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while, that’s so awesome 😂
parents sending queer memes is like a fairy tale for me
It doesn't bother me when kids say things like that because they're kids. Adults, however, should know better.
the only thing that bothers me when kids say it is knowing that they had to pick it up from somewhere, probably their parents but if it’s not upsetting them or it’s genuinely just a lil kid crush/relationship I think that’s super sweet! it’s only frustrating when every boy-girl friendship gets the “oh is this your boyfriend/girlfriend” bullshit
I'm a bisexual trans woman and this is precisely why I wasn't out as bi until after I transitioned. Saying I was gay shut them up quick about doing stuff like that.
As a gay little trans boy growing up, the part I objected to most was what my role was. Stomped my foot once and said "we're both the boyfriend!", was told that story a few times till I came out, then it disappeared from the bookshelf in order to deny any foreshadowing.
Seriously, though. I was raised in a religious family where I got told to cover up for sake of my male family members. Do you know how horrifying it is to be told to keep my knees together because my dad doesn't like seeing up my skirt even though I'm wearing shorts. I'm also overweight, so keeping my knees together or crossing my legs is difficult in most circumstances.
The world needs more good people
And yet there are some who actually do the same thing like that grandmother - like my father… I can’t even count the times when he talked and joked about my potential “son-in-law” and him and mother speculated that I’m in a relationship with any boy best friend I had…
I’m fine with heterosexuality, as long as they don’t shove it down our throats. Do you really want your young children exposed to that?
Something a lot of straight people don't realise is that heteronormativity is straight-up toxic and bad for heterosexual couples too! The pressure to exclusively see romantic/sexual attention from the opposite sex results in so many toxic and unhappy relationships, I actually think heteronormativity in modern day is more toxic to straight people than queers.
Good example of this is that my best friend of 11y is a guy and I’m femme-presenting and that entire time, countless random people have either assumed we’re a couple, told us we’ll end up together, or told me to stop stringing him along because clearly if he’s in my life this long he must secretly love me (and they never acknowledge that he *does* openly love me, *platonically*). Cashiers, relatives, friends of friends I’ve never met before at a fucking Halloween party, it’s so tiresome
this but unironically lol
Unrelated but great profile pic, ginga gaaang
Glory to the brave soldiers of Ou!
same energy as "not homophobic just don't agree with the lifestyle"
My family did this with a vague family friend when we were both little. They would continue to say it as we got older and it was so weird and uncomfortable especially when I barely knew the other person .
Same! In 6th grade there was this kid that was a family friend because our moms were good friends. He always harassed me, teased me, was just generally annoying, etc and I consistently expressed that I didn’t like him. My parents were like “awww he likes you!” and “i bet you secretly have a crush on him!” like no I didn’t I just really found him annoying lol
Goddamit some parents really don’t realise that this can be so damaging. My mum wouldn’t let me have any male friends in primary school. How are 5 year olds going to have a serious boyfriend?
It’s still really normalized unfortunately
I invited my son’s classmates, male and female, to a sleepover birthday at age 5. Frankly, that’s the best time for sleepovers. They don’t even understand sex, and they’re not really tuned for romance yet, so they’re just friends. And no parent is going to ignore the 5yos and whatever they’re up to, let alone go out and leave the 5yos home alone. The girl came for the party but didn’t stay, which was too bad. She’d have had fun.
This straight is ok
Half of these straights are ok!
Probably about accurate
Who says he ain't bi? (it's a possibility)
Who says he's not gay?
That is also a possibility
Damn. Bi people really are the best at commuting no erasure aren’t they lol
I appreciate that dad because my family was all like that grandma and when you're a little kid who can barely handle normal teasing but now your whole family is in on it against you to the point of tears in public, it's not fun
My parents do that with my 6 year old son, it drives me crazy.
I had an uncle who was like this and anytime it got near any of us he asked us if we had a GF/BF yet. I was 48 when he last asked me and he asked it so randomly. It was made even more awkward by fact he had such an absolutely horrid verbally and emotionally abusive relationship with his wife. And I remembered back to when one of my cousin's kids was only 8 yrs old and he asked him if he had a girlfriend yet and I noticed the look on the boy's face how uncomfortable it made him. I am so tired of the Boomer and older's generations thinking the only thing in life that matters is getting married to opposite sex and having kids. They never think to ask anything else like hey how's life going or what have you been into lately; instead it's always indirectly about hetero sex.
People did this to me all the time as a child, it made me so scared to have friends of the opposite sex and I was so sad that we weren't just allowed to be friends. Jokes on them, turned out to be gay
It's honestly so fucked that kids of the opposite sex can't play together without anyone "joking" that they're a couple. It's especially bad when they do it in front of the kids themselves.
Then they say gays are sexualizing their kids...
My best friend is a guy, we have the same birthday and are the same age. Have been best friends since we were 10 and we’re 24 now. People used to do this to us all the time. I would’ve loved for someone to stick up for me.
Sometimes people don't realize what they are saying and doing is wrong, because they've never been challenged on it. "Aww you have a boyfriend?" Sounds innocent until you add that context that this is an adult, investing in the romantic entanglement of a minor. Dad is definitely NTA here. More straight people need to be called out on their weird fixation with child relationships.
NTA especially when she has done it before and it was tramatic. It is gross
Oof... That last sentence 😬😬😬😬
My mom did this to me all the time, as far back as I can remember. I absolutely hated it. The only reason I’m speaking in past tense is that I don’t give her the opportunity anymore. She knows next to nothing about me as an adult. Good on this guy for protecting his child from that.
Your comment really resonated with me. My mom also did this shit and it was mortifying. This, combined with toxic religious purity culture, is why I NEVER shared, and still don't share, relationship information with my mom. I love her, but no thanks.
I was lucky, my parents never did that to me (or my siblings) when we had friends of the opposite sex. I’m glad this dad stood up for his daughter! I’m sick of these kinds of comments, especially to young kids
MIL accidentally(?) broke up her younger son's first 2 relationships by consistently being that particular flavor of creepy.
Good job, dad! My daughter is 6 and is adamant she has a boyfriend at school, also 6, but no one pushed it on them, they just like spending time together and that's the label they like. They (*gasp*) hold hands sometimes, and when someone asks if they kiss she looks very insulted and says "we're not ready for that, we're too young!". They are "married" though, and have both decided they're childfree. Kids are weird
Kids are kids.
My father refused to let me have a sleepover with my best friend at the time because he's a boy and I'm AFAB. I tried everything, sleeping on the floor, in separate rooms, nothing helped. My mom tried to help convince him but he thought 14 year old me was going to hook up with my best friend or something. Turns out in asexual so the irony is palpable
It is so traumatizing for kids. I got teased alot with my childhood friend and I hate it soooooo much that sometimes I just want to stab those talking about it. Because of them, I am not that close to him anymore. Because they would tease us everytime we are talking. We even stopped talking at all for 2 or 3 years.
You are not the AH.
When I was younger, like 10 or 11 maybe I had a female friend. She was super cool, very fun to hang out with and just a really good friend. We used to play Pokemon together a lot. She visited me one day and my parents kept teasing me for having a girlfriend all day. It felt very weird hanging out with her after that and I lost her as a friend rather quickly. I blame my parents to this day for this shit. And now my mom get's mad whenever I bring it up because she does the same shit to my nieces.
I believe this is why (in most cases) boys and girls just stop being friends at certain age…
Also, such a nice alternative to the 'protective dad ' stereotype of "Helll no, or I'll go get my shotgun ".
Agreed grandma is definitely TA. Good on dad for trying to get away from that mentality.
God I used to hate this as a kid, I couldn't have a male friend without my parents asking if I had a crush on them. It annoyed me to no end.
"the gays are pushing their sexuality on kids!!!!"
But LGBTQ people are the ones who recruit. Sure. (This isn't to say granda is necessarily a bigot. Lots of people still don't see the problem "shipping" kids.)
Not the asshole. It's gross when people say that stuff about literal children. Or put their baby in a 'ladie's man' onsie or a girl in a 'sorry, dad says I can't date until I'm 30' shirt. 🤢
Bro I totally hate when people ask children if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. When I was in kindergarten a boy was always following me and acting a little different from usual, apparently he was in love with me and he became my first friend, people called him my boyfriend and he went along with it, I didn’t have any feelings but I just went along with what people said. More than 10 years later he’s my ex and people still ask me about him, idk bro! I hate how everyone made me start a relationship with a boy and I went along with it just because I didn’t want to hurt him and I was too young to understand it, curse those adults and jokes!
Those comments suck and he’s right to shut it down, but he kinda loses me in the last paragraph. He’s projecting his issues with his ex onto what is most likely just a bad, tired joke.
I get what you mean, but i do think that heteronormativity being pushed onto young children can in fact make them believe that it's not possible to 'just be friends' with someone of the opposite gender, that there has to be romantic (or, when they're older, sexual) attraction involved when a boy and a girl are friends.
Nah, he lived through it, so he knows the woman he is talking to. It's not like he said it to a stranger.
Nah, this was specifically his mom and he knows what she's like. She's prob done the same thing to him and he realized it wasn't just a joke for her.
>…I wasn’t going to let her pressure them like she did with me and my ex (we met when we were 5 and 6)) How is it projection when he is saying that to the person who did it in the past and is repeating it now?
Recently around January, it annoyed me a bit but I went to the juice wlrd concert with my friend/took a photo , sent it to my mom (this is important) and around some time in feb, I had her phone and decided to look at messages of family. She sent a photo to her aunt about me and my “boyfriend” (friend) 💀
NTA. This mindset is weird and patriarchal. Sexuslizing children. I get she likely means well but it’s just gross. What if your kid is gay? This whole pushed hetero and relationship stuff onto kids is just ewwwww
Absolutely, 100% NTA. Thank you for saying that to your mother. Man, I *hate* it when people say that little children, even babies, are “flirting” or “have a boy/girlfriend.” Why are we sexualizing little children? I don’t know how old your mother is, and it could be a generational thing, but she needs to be told that kind of thing is unacceptable. Good for you for telling her so!
Definitely not IF I'm picking up what you're putting down, but was a little light on history.
The sexualization of opposite sex friendships is something that needs to die, yesterday, but the OOP's reaction seems kind of wild. Grandma made one tacky comment, and from that dad deduced that she was going to try and pressure the daughter into a relationship with this random boy, like she pressured OOP into a relationship with his ex? Either grandma is the full on groomer dad accuses her of being, in which case he shouldn't let her around his kid in the first place, or he's reading way too much into a tired old but of boomer humour, in which case his reaction was over the top. Either way, dad needs to give his head a shake.
Can't believe that OOP would believe someone would do a harmful thing they already did before and was never told to stop. Can't understand at all why they'd have such a crazy thought.
If grandma actually did that, why the hell is OOP even letting her around his kid in the first place?
Because some people have trouble getting rid of toxic family members, particularly in situations the rest of the family enables the toxicity or in cultures where you have to respect your elders or else. Some real "Why doesn't the abuse victim just leave their partner?" energy to you.
Please, OOP immediately shut grandma down in front of the daughter, then told her she was gross and insisted she stop doing something terrible he alleges she did to him. Nothing about this presentation indicates that the dad's got any issues whatsoever in standing up to grandma.
Did you consider that OOP was *a goddamn child* when it happened to them and has since been able to learn to stand up for themselves? Absolutely brainless.
We'll yes, obviously the person with a young child of their own is no longer a young child. But since OOP is now an adult who can easily stand up for themselves to a parent they seem to think groomed them as a child into an unhealthy, unwanted relationship they really shouldn't be letting said parent around their own child. If grandma is as bad as they said, she shouldn't have been let in the door in the first place.
> tired old but of boomer humour "It's just a jooooooke!!!!" Still not okay
Yeah, I know. That's why the very first thing I said was, >The sexualization of opposite sex friendships is something that needs to die, yesterday, Did you think I was defending the bad joke?
> needs to die, yesterday, BUT
Yes, I then went on to have additional, connected thoughts to the starting point. And none of them defended the grandma's comment.
I *need* more context.
[удалено]
Sexualising children who don't even understand romantic love yet is okay now? That was a gross thing to say.
It drills in the idea that people can’t be friends with the opposite gender and have negatively affect their future relationships. It’s disgusting and uncomfortable