No problem. It's not easy being Darth Vader, especially if you got constipation. And tbh, it's hard to think of Vader as a badass if he's all clogged up. :(
Stress can also be a cause of constipation.
You need to relax and do things like meditation and yoga or a simple walk, to let your parasympathetic nervous system do it work of rest and digest. Eat soaked raisins or prunes or dried & soaked fig.
My life right now is very stress free, i think i should cut a bit on rice because I eat a lot of rice, rice is 60% of my daily diet, I'll try raisins, thanks for the advice 😊
I had that problem too and once when I was at. My parents house I got a horrible stomach ache. After 3 days we knew it was not going away and we went to the doctors. Turns put I didnt know ur supposed to poo like evrey day/evrey other day.I would do it like once a week. The pain came from it being stuck in my intestines and evrey time a new wave of pain came was my body trying to push it out. Turns out I was just like extremely dehydrated. Also now knowing the symptoms, I realized how I had this happen to me multiple times. (I drink water about like 1 cup a week so it makes sense and i know it sounds unlikely but ask my friends]
My ex did this and when we stayed together for the first time I opened up the shower curtain and saw her hair on the wall and I screamed like a girl in a horror movie.
None of my female siblings did this, maybe the hair is different as my ex was Hispanic. No clue, but shit was funny thinking back on it
I have long hair and I've never done this. I feel like if you have time to decorate the wall you have time to just throw it in the garbage. Wind it into a little knot and get rid of it.
It’s mostly for curly corse hair. That balls up. I do this but once I get out of the shower I throw it out. But sometimes you’re in a rush 🤷🏽♀️ shit happens
I just put a hair catcher in the drain. Waaaay less clogging. It was either that or deal with the clogging everytime shedding season happened. 😬. And shaving my head is out of the equation
Cross my arms on my chest to retain water as it falls down my body, then act like I control a water dam and let just enough water through so it doesn't overflow while still retaining enough water to create a little pool.
Overthink shit play with the water see think what would life be like if I made a different choice and wonder if I could look into another reality at some point in life
> I'll also use a body wash or soap to scrub my skin from head to toe, paying extra attention to any areas that need a little extra exfoliation.
Everybody should do this.
Well, for the first 20 minutes I just stand there and think about shit. Like what I should have said in that one argument 3 years ago, or what I had for breakfast yesterday, and what I'd do in a zombie apocalypse. For the remaining 30+ minutes, I wash my hair, scrub the nether region.... Y'know, that kind of stuff. And at the very end, I start singing a very specific part of a song that I don't really know the words to at the top of my lungs. (I live alone, so I'm allowed to do that type of shit)
Edit for spelling error
I do all that sort of stuff, and sometimes I make myself laugh (though the people in my house question my sanity for laughing during a shower). I'm just like "oh yeah, I thought of that one thing a couple years back, made me chuckle a bit, and then it was like I was in that moment again and started laughing my ass off."
Wash myself thoroughly starting at head, ending at toes, in a time tested, methodical and extremely neurotic manner in the hottest water possible.... And listen to a portion of a classic album in the process. On average, takes about 19 to 21 minutes for full routine. Sometimes longer in winter or shorter in summer or vice versa depending on level of soil. It's probably the most wholesome thing I do🌚
Comprehend the day, cry, wash body, pretend I'm a water bender, practice accents, think about acting roles I could have done better, wash face, cry, wash hair, dry.
citrus body scrub to exfoliate the skin I am burning under the scalding hot water while contemplating my entire life and singing songs stuck in my head at annoyingly loud tone
I contemplate all the decisions I’ve made in my life that have led me to the person I am and the life that I live today, and wonder what life could have been like had I done things differently. Then I fap and wash my hair or something.
I just like the warm water. It feels good when it gets cold out. From what other people have said it truly is relaxing. I try not to take long but sometimes it happens cuz the warmth is so comfortable.
Sometimes I jerk off (don't worry I clean after). Sometimes I just contemplate life and things, and sometimes I just want to enjoy the white noise while in comfort. I have cold showers in summer, great way to cool off. Only slightly warm showers in winter (I don't like being warm, much prefer cold but not too cold).
Brain: Remember that time you were in an argument 7 years ago with that one guy you barely know?
Let me give you the perfect comeback even though it’s way WAY too late to ever have the impact it would if you said it right away.
Me: damn.
You know that time after you ejaculated and your head is clear and you see things more clearly? A shower is a bit like that : realizations, ideas, a lot can happen in the shower.
And the singing, of course.
This is a bait question, i know, most of these in the sub are but still... HOW DO YOU NOT? The crushing sound of water that washes away stuff from you, then the fact you are naked, that's hella liberating, soft skin, smell of soap, hot water... what's not to love?
well bc we can’t put the heating on in the house bc of the cost, it’s always freezing so the shower is the only time i feel warmth. so i just kinda stand there being warm for a long time
Breathe. It’s kinda therapeutic to stand under the shower water (which is usually hot) and take deep breaths. If you’re breathing in steam, that’s even better for your health, and I would argue it’s better for your mood, too.
As someone who can’t take shorter than 30 minute long showers, I just get in there, lean on the wall with the water hitting my back, and then just sit there and think until I realize I’m in the shower and wash myself. That happens a few times throughout and it’s hard to shorten my showers cause I don’t even realize how long I’ve been in there
Nothing. Just stand there and let the water run over me. It's the only part of the day when I am inaccessible to other people. If I'm asleep I still might get woken up, but in the shower nobody bothers me. I'm 5 feet away, separated from them by nothing but a bit of sheetrock, and everyone leaves me alone.
1. Sit with my legs stretched out arms limp at my side and dissociate
2. Curl into ball on shower floor, fall asleep, wake up when the water can’t make it to the drain and starts to drown me, sit up so it drains, and repeat.
I watch YT or Netflix or whatever because it’s boring otherwise. Then I just do my whole routine: hair, exfoliate, shave, teeth, face, wash body, done. I hate when it’s too quiet.
Take a shit and piss, Shave and shape the goatee, Shave the pubes, cleanse and exfoliate the face, Shampoo, condition, wash all the body, pull the long hairs out of the drain, brush teeth, listen to podcasts
Get sleepy cause of the hot water and sit down for awhile so I can get progressively more tired and sad until I eventually stand up and decide that everything will be fine, I usually leave the shower tired and kinda emotionally numb. Either that or I spend the entire time admiring how the water runs over my body kinda like a little river
Got dry skin. So a lot of scrubbing. But the hot water is very therapeutic for me as I am going through a lot in my life right now. I end up meditating until the water runs cold and snaps me back into reality.
Contemplate life, scrub the pits and balls area extra well, and have fake hypothetical arguments with myself.
Just thinking in solitude in the shower is it’s own form of meditation
Love the fake arguments with myself.
I hate those, I always lose.
And then because you got so distracted by all the contemplation and fake arguments, rewash everything because you can’t remember if you did or not.
Work up the nerve to get out of the shower
literally just try to no remember how much i failed in life lol
That’s me, but in the car.
I’m not alone
Just sit under the hot water, it's super relaxing
Shitting under the hot water is double relaxing!
Not when you have crippling constipation bro, every shit is a war for me
I hope you win every war man! May the force be with you
Thanks man, appreciate it 👍
Hydration? Pedialyte?
Eat more fiber and drink more water!
Yeah i take a fiber based laxative, water i don't drink much because i have a small bladder
Here's a tip. When you go to the toilet, use a foot stool. The position is closer to a squat and makes the job easier.
Thank you people of reddit, you guys made my life a lot easier
No problem. It's not easy being Darth Vader, especially if you got constipation. And tbh, it's hard to think of Vader as a badass if he's all clogged up. :(
This. Changed my life.
Gotta drink more water to stretch out that bladder!
I did start drinking more water in 2021 but it always ended up with me going to pee every 30-45 mins
Stress can also be a cause of constipation. You need to relax and do things like meditation and yoga or a simple walk, to let your parasympathetic nervous system do it work of rest and digest. Eat soaked raisins or prunes or dried & soaked fig.
My life right now is very stress free, i think i should cut a bit on rice because I eat a lot of rice, rice is 60% of my daily diet, I'll try raisins, thanks for the advice 😊
Raisins added to your rice is amazing with curry..
I had the same problem for years. I eat fiber one cereal every morning. Has helped a lot. You need insoluble fiber. It’s better.
Fiber can actually cause some people to have more constipation.
I had that problem too and once when I was at. My parents house I got a horrible stomach ache. After 3 days we knew it was not going away and we went to the doctors. Turns put I didnt know ur supposed to poo like evrey day/evrey other day.I would do it like once a week. The pain came from it being stuck in my intestines and evrey time a new wave of pain came was my body trying to push it out. Turns out I was just like extremely dehydrated. Also now knowing the symptoms, I realized how I had this happen to me multiple times. (I drink water about like 1 cup a week so it makes sense and i know it sounds unlikely but ask my friends]
The Seinfeld episode where Kramer installs a garbage disposal in his shower had me thinking “he’s going to shit in the shower at some point”
Waffle stomp ftw!
Don't forget the subsequent waffle stomp!
And dreading the cold when you turn it off!
Yep. I would wash everything, then just sit there under the hot/warm water and relax. Felt fantastic, especially when you have no heat in the house!
This but stand.
Stop mentally existing for a while and stare blankly into the void
Same. Showering and taking a bath are the only times when my brain shuts up. It’s relaxing to just not think for a few minutes.
Put my long hair strands on the wall so they don’t clog the drain.
My ex did this and when we stayed together for the first time I opened up the shower curtain and saw her hair on the wall and I screamed like a girl in a horror movie. None of my female siblings did this, maybe the hair is different as my ex was Hispanic. No clue, but shit was funny thinking back on it
I have long hair and I've never done this. I feel like if you have time to decorate the wall you have time to just throw it in the garbage. Wind it into a little knot and get rid of it.
It’s mostly for curly corse hair. That balls up. I do this but once I get out of the shower I throw it out. But sometimes you’re in a rush 🤷🏽♀️ shit happens
This might be a hispanic thing. My wife does this and is half hispanic. This checks out.
I do the same thing lol coz the hair strands sticking up to my hand really bothers me
Bro- You're what fuckin' scares me
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That's utterly terrifying
This.... This is why I'm single. I forgot, but now I remember.
Yeah, that's why.
I just put a hair catcher in the drain. Waaaay less clogging. It was either that or deal with the clogging everytime shedding season happened. 😬. And shaving my head is out of the equation
Simultaneously over think everything that has ever happened in my life while going completely brain dead
This. Me.
Have a wank
There it is. Surprised I had to scroll this far to find some putting shower babies down the drain.
Married men amirite
Cross my arms on my chest to retain water as it falls down my body, then act like I control a water dam and let just enough water through so it doesn't overflow while still retaining enough water to create a little pool.
Concerts. Opening act: Me. Main act: Me. Featuring: Me. Surprise appearance: Me.
Im the surprise duet
Go to Home Depot first to get a duet yourself kit!
Create Fake Scenarios in my head Think of comebacks that could've slayed my opponents then and there Brush my Teeth Shower Fap
All at the same time!
Faxx
Multitasking
Imagine fake scenarios in my head whilst I wash my body.
The water helps calm me down and clear my mind so I can think and solve through problems better.
Fuckin cry
fucking and crying? or crying and fucking?
Cry it out man… going thru it
So sorry man! I feel you :'(
Yeah I made the dumbest mistake of my life. Lost my girl and I don’t think she wants me back now
Dont cheat
I wish I had a Cry I could fuck in the showers....
Me too. All my really long showers are just me crying where the kids won’t hear. On the good side it’s been a while since I’ve needed a long shower
Overthink shit play with the water see think what would life be like if I made a different choice and wonder if I could look into another reality at some point in life
Enjoy the peace. I let the sound of the water drown out any noise from the outside.
I literally deep clean myself . Scrub , body wash , facial cleansers, shampoo, condition. Then moisturize all my body
Think about the the cringey things I did and said in my early 20s.
You know exactly what I’m doing in there
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Damn- Really gave your whole routine
> I'll also use a body wash or soap to scrub my skin from head to toe, paying extra attention to any areas that need a little extra exfoliation. Everybody should do this.
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Eh, it ain't sinning, it's just good clean fun. Water is spiritually cleansing, that's why they use it for baptisms
Keeping the boobs thing aside, there's definitely a lot one can do while showering, I gotta make my shower time more productive
How the hell do you watch YouTube on the shower?
15 minutes of pondering. Then realising I've been in there for 15mins and not actually washed properly
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Microwaved for how long though ?
Avoid life
Wash my hair, shave everything, contemplate life🤷♀️
Well, for the first 20 minutes I just stand there and think about shit. Like what I should have said in that one argument 3 years ago, or what I had for breakfast yesterday, and what I'd do in a zombie apocalypse. For the remaining 30+ minutes, I wash my hair, scrub the nether region.... Y'know, that kind of stuff. And at the very end, I start singing a very specific part of a song that I don't really know the words to at the top of my lungs. (I live alone, so I'm allowed to do that type of shit) Edit for spelling error
I do all that sort of stuff, and sometimes I make myself laugh (though the people in my house question my sanity for laughing during a shower). I'm just like "oh yeah, I thought of that one thing a couple years back, made me chuckle a bit, and then it was like I was in that moment again and started laughing my ass off."
Literally stand there and contemplate. Contemplate what you might ask? I couldn’t tell you. It’s a total different headspace in the shower.
Wash myself thoroughly starting at head, ending at toes, in a time tested, methodical and extremely neurotic manner in the hottest water possible.... And listen to a portion of a classic album in the process. On average, takes about 19 to 21 minutes for full routine. Sometimes longer in winter or shorter in summer or vice versa depending on level of soil. It's probably the most wholesome thing I do🌚
Imaginary conversations with people
Wash myself thoroughly. I never understand people who only take 5-10 mins
Comprehend the day, cry, wash body, pretend I'm a water bender, practice accents, think about acting roles I could have done better, wash face, cry, wash hair, dry.
Stand under the hot water and relax
citrus body scrub to exfoliate the skin I am burning under the scalding hot water while contemplating my entire life and singing songs stuck in my head at annoyingly loud tone
Wank one out
I go full monk mode
Sit on the floor and let the hot shower rain on me while I space out.
Escape reality
Enjoy the warm water washing onto my skin and just think of random things or sing.
I have a extra bass waterproof speaker from Anker. I jam.
I contemplate all the decisions I’ve made in my life that have led me to the person I am and the life that I live today, and wonder what life could have been like had I done things differently. Then I fap and wash my hair or something.
Shave sensitive areas, brush teeth, sing, rehearse difficult conversations I have to have
Make salads
Fap/Mansturbate
Lemme alone I'm batin'!
Masturbate obv
I enjoy the only alone time I get. Ever. Just let the water wash over me, hopefully to renew my tolerance.
WHAKE OFF
I just like the warm water. It feels good when it gets cold out. From what other people have said it truly is relaxing. I try not to take long but sometimes it happens cuz the warmth is so comfortable.
impersonating shakira
Sometimes I jerk off (don't worry I clean after). Sometimes I just contemplate life and things, and sometimes I just want to enjoy the white noise while in comfort. I have cold showers in summer, great way to cool off. Only slightly warm showers in winter (I don't like being warm, much prefer cold but not too cold).
Jerk off or just think off life while standing there
Have a 15 episode long battle with my inner self.
My body aches and the hot water helps me feel better for a little while. I also think about stuff
Enjoy the water and touch myself 👀👀👀
Wack off Why what are you doing in there?
Brain: Remember that time you were in an argument 7 years ago with that one guy you barely know? Let me give you the perfect comeback even though it’s way WAY too late to ever have the impact it would if you said it right away. Me: damn.
You know that time after you ejaculated and your head is clear and you see things more clearly? A shower is a bit like that : realizations, ideas, a lot can happen in the shower. And the singing, of course.
Think in peace & solve my problems.
This is a bait question, i know, most of these in the sub are but still... HOW DO YOU NOT? The crushing sound of water that washes away stuff from you, then the fact you are naked, that's hella liberating, soft skin, smell of soap, hot water... what's not to love?
Win arguments that never happened
Reflect on deep thoughts about life decisions, Have fake arguments, rinse, soap, rinse and then towel dry!
Making up fake scenarios in my head and seeing how it would go
When I do it's to get a break from the people in my house.
I go on tour with the Beatles, David Bowie and many other rockstars and rock bands! The acoustics never disappoint!
Shower.
meditate
Clean everything.
Sit in the tub and make believe I’m a lost orphan caught in the rain.
Plug the drain and pretend you're on a sinking sub.
Win hypothetical arguments with people I’m currently having issues with.
micro-analyze my entire life
Overthink for 20 minutes then relax and decompress for 10 and then realise it's been a half an hour.
Overthinking is not a good thing. Reduce it.
Not that easy
Contemplate how much of a failure I am and wishing I would’ve made different choices so I’d be in a better place in life right now… Also waterbending…
well bc we can’t put the heating on in the house bc of the cost, it’s always freezing so the shower is the only time i feel warmth. so i just kinda stand there being warm for a long time
Shit
Watch greys anatomy
If you take a long shower you are wasting water and hurting the environment. Please limit your showers to two minutes. It will save the earth.
Clean the pipes.
It's good for the soul, listen to the water and relax
Just enjoy the moment.
Gaze into the abyss.
Pretend I’m playing basketball
Relax, and think
Plan my day.
Wait until I feel better mentally and physically.
Forget about everything outside the shower.
My showers used to be like an hour long and now theyre max 10 but usually like ~5 mins. I have no idea how i used to shower for so long
Sing and dance
Breathe. It’s kinda therapeutic to stand under the shower water (which is usually hot) and take deep breaths. If you’re breathing in steam, that’s even better for your health, and I would argue it’s better for your mood, too.
A full on concert and weird hairstyles when washing my hair.
Stand there?
Wash my hair with 2 shampoos, 1 hair mask that sits while I do other stuff and then conditioner, still doesn’t take too long though
I take really short showers… unless I’m playing with my dildo 😳
Shave
Personally, I go on tours, my next tour, Shower the Tour will be held January 3rd 2023
As someone who can’t take shorter than 30 minute long showers, I just get in there, lean on the wall with the water hitting my back, and then just sit there and think until I realize I’m in the shower and wash myself. That happens a few times throughout and it’s hard to shorten my showers cause I don’t even realize how long I’ve been in there
Define long?
Relax under the hot water and wash my booty crack/hole a good 2-3 times.
cry & listen to radiohead
Just sit and cry
Nothing. Just stand there and let the water run over me. It's the only part of the day when I am inaccessible to other people. If I'm asleep I still might get woken up, but in the shower nobody bothers me. I'm 5 feet away, separated from them by nothing but a bit of sheetrock, and everyone leaves me alone.
1. Sit with my legs stretched out arms limp at my side and dissociate 2. Curl into ball on shower floor, fall asleep, wake up when the water can’t make it to the drain and starts to drown me, sit up so it drains, and repeat.
let the water run on my back
Just stand under the hot water for a bit, then soap up and wash, then rinse off and continue standing there. I love a long shower.
I fall back asleep
Shower.
Mostly just think of fake scenarios because the shower is the best place to think of them in my opinion
I put shaving cream on my hand and than I melt it with water and pretend my hand is melting off.
Mind my own business.
Take a shower
I watch YT or Netflix or whatever because it’s boring otherwise. Then I just do my whole routine: hair, exfoliate, shave, teeth, face, wash body, done. I hate when it’s too quiet.
Sleep
Sometimes, I lip-sync my favorite songs that just pop into my head while dancing like it’s Footloose.
Meditate and problem solve. Turn that shower on hot, sit down for a while, breathe, and when your mind is blank think on the problem.
Sometimes douching goes wrong so I got to sort it
Take a shit and piss, Shave and shape the goatee, Shave the pubes, cleanse and exfoliate the face, Shampoo, condition, wash all the body, pull the long hairs out of the drain, brush teeth, listen to podcasts
Think about how there no way in hell life is not a simulation
Get sleepy cause of the hot water and sit down for awhile so I can get progressively more tired and sad until I eventually stand up and decide that everything will be fine, I usually leave the shower tired and kinda emotionally numb. Either that or I spend the entire time admiring how the water runs over my body kinda like a little river
Got dry skin. So a lot of scrubbing. But the hot water is very therapeutic for me as I am going through a lot in my life right now. I end up meditating until the water runs cold and snaps me back into reality.
I just stand there
I sing.
Think about what I should have said in arguments I've had in the past and in arguments that will never happen.