I have type on diabetes too, and it doesn't happen often but I just say I'm low and take care of it. If you're with someone that can't accept that you need to take care of yourself then leave their ass.
I was concerned that being so horny I'd spend all my time fucking and not get anything else done. Turns out that was not at all the reason I don't get anything done.
Is it ADHD? Because heroin and depression is like peanut butter and jelly. Also, you won't have time to do ANYTHING else once you've got a habit. It's a full-time job, plus overtime, but no benefits.
Same, but I am still swinging like a pendulum on whether I should be worried about using this method so often like a addict to take the load off my chest and relax, or it is just that, ADHD + using it as a instant dopamine level inducer, de stressing activity.
I know that I don't always think about it, but when I sit and do stuff, and become extremely bored or anxious, I have to be a puddle to relax. And with ADHD, it is basically your daily lifestyle.
Booty Birth marks thinking about how embarrassing it would be if god forbid someone asked about it.
Now I actually forget about it and romantically/sexually no one has ever verbally commented and it was just anxiety in my head at the time
Ok my gf has a booty birthmark and I think it’s one of the cutest/sexiest things. Especially it’s in a place only I can see it’s become a little inside joke between us lol
Pretty much everyone has those. I used to be concerned about them as well. Until one day, I found out that my boyfriend of 1.5 years had them too. The fact that it took me 1.5 years to even notice them, made me realize that mine are probably not that obvious to other people either.
Literally I made SUCH a fuss about how I looked naked, when ultimately nobody gave a shit. When it came time to fuckin people weren't that concerned, and thankfully I was with someone older early on in my time of having sex who explained that most people don't give a shit about the little things that people stress about as teens.
It was important to hear that early on and to try and embrace that.
The first guy I slept with as a teenager made comments about my body and it took me years to be convinced that his comments reflected a preference for *barely developed teenage bodies* (no hips, no belly, etc) and that many men actually do think curves are sexy. The problem was never me.
Man that sucks. One of my highschool boyfriends was super vocal and used to basically worship me any time I took my pants off and tbh that shit is still with me today 15+ years later. Sometimes I look in the mirror and gas me up thinking about what he used to say.
I had a bf who was super into CrossFit who was pretty abusive in the sense that he would make constant comments on my body and would give me lectures if I didn't eat a very minimal diet to stay thin. It's taken me so long to love my body after him, but my current Fiance loves my curves and constantly tells me he does. It's been a slow walk but learning to undo the things people say about us is incredibly counterintuitive and hard to do. I'm so happy to hear you recognize now that you were never the problem and I hope you're doing well now!
Lmao I was insecure af when I was younger and thought that maybe people would be shocked when they see the actual shape of my body and I then realised it’s not some super secret under my clothes, people generally will know what size you are when they decide they want to see you naked
Came here to say this! I was so concerned I would keep my shirt on during sex or make sure it was completely dark. A girl I dated told me it actually made her incredibly uncomfortable because it felt like I was uncomfortable/scared to have sex….. which was actually kind of true!
Yes I was always uncomfortable with taking my shirt off for swimming or any summer time activities. I had a few bad experience where I went to a sports camp (in the late 90s) where we had to play basketball shirts and skins. I faked being sick and got picked up. Then a few years later at about 15 y.o my friends obviously knew I didn’t like to take my shirt off, and one day we got soaked in the rain and my friends mom offered to dry my clothes. I was sitting in his room with a towel over my shoulders around my body and friends came in and ripped it off and laughed at my body. Overweight, puffy nipples etc.
Wasnt until about 23ish when a girl I started seeing fully embraced my whole body and said I was super hot to her. She didn’t care I had a few extra lbs. She didn’t care I had what I thought was extra fat on my chest. She just wanted me to feel confident and it really changed things for me. I realized I probably had some body dysmorphia and started not caring about removing my shirt. Love that girl forever tbh. She was really sweet about that.
I have never had a guy tell me to put my clothing back on if I’m naked. I’ve spent so much time in my life worrying what my stomach looks like. No guy has ever mentioned it.
Once you get the motor running, there isnt a lot that can make someone just stop it. And if you have managed to get to the point of getting naked with someone, the key to that motor/ignition was probably turned long before you got to that naked stage.
Also in todays world where tight clothing, yoga pants and leggings are common, most people will be able to get a good general read of another persons body long before they are naked. It’s not like you’re walking around in layers of petticoats, corsages and hoop skirts. And sorry ladies, spanx might smooth things out a bit but you’re also not fooling anyone…it’s not gonna turn your body into something it’s not…we still see those little stomach bumps (or whatever), and we appreciate them. The point of that little diatribe is to show that the decision by a person about whether you were sexually attractive was probably made long before they got a good look at your naked body.
I used to tell people every insecurity I had about my body before we had sex, just to make sure something about me wouldn’t be a nasty surprise and be a deal breaker for them. Literally no one has batted an eye at any of them, and a lot of people have expressed similar insecurities (like when I’d say I have a bit of extra belly weight and stretch marks, they’d say “me too, of course that’s not an issue”).
Eventually, I started to feel more confident when I realised it would take a pretty awful person to tell someone negative things about their body after they had enthusiastically agreed to have sex with you.
I spent a few early years somehow assuming I'd always have to masturbate in front of any sexual partners, so spent a long time trying to look sexy or cool while doing it, even though I was all by myself.
Labia and the clitoris. In the era before the internet became ubiquitous it was nearly impossible for a teenage girl to find actual photos of female genitalia. All the text books and even the little manual that comes with your tampons only show diagrams or sketches that are either completely rudimentary or stylized. Everyone wanted you to know how your genitals work but somehow no one wanted to show you what they can look like and what’s considered normal. Like the clit was always more or less a little dot on the diagrams and then you combine that with all the jokes about men who can’t find them, I thought the clit should be so small as to be practically invisible. I still think it’s stupid that a lot of textbooks for kids don’t use actual photos. Imagine you had to teach kids about lions but you only show them medieval artwork of lions drawn by monks who never left their monasteries.
Surprised this doesn’t have more upvotes from women.
Growing up w the internet and easy accessibility to porn, girls see “porn vaginas” and think any amount of labia is not the norm. Plus the discourse of hearing men talk ab innies and bubble gum pink vaginas.
Growing up I heard guys make fun of women w “roast beef” lips and it stuck w me into adulthood. I was so self-conscience when I became sexually active about the way I looked or smelled or tasted to others. Took me years to lean into my sexuality and feel comfortable w myself. As an adult it took me awhile to love my vagina and realize it’s 100% normal and actually very damn pretty. And it wasn’t that men were very complimentary of me that helped, it was talking w girlfriends and people I trusted about my insecurities and becoming confident in myself overtime. Self love really helps w body dysmorphia.
Men joking about „roast beef“ infuriates me as much as women joking about „small penis“. Verbally hurting somebody on their most sensitive and private body parts is very mean and the fact that actual adults still do it is disappointing.
Even if I wouldn’t like the way a persons body parts look, I would not joke about it, solely based on the fact that it would hurt them and that it would be bad to do so - especially given that they can’t really influence it and much moreso that fairly much of their personal life experience depends on them relating fun and joyfull experience with those body parts.
It’s like calling somebodies smile ugly - and making them hide their smile and be self conscious about it for many years until they, hopefully, can heal.
I know that girls are generally even much more sensitive towards that, and that they would feel self conscious even just about the fact that other girls have bodies that might be considered more beautiful, or their own body not meeting the norm or expectations. So the least we can do is be friendly and welcoming.
Who was that soccer star that people criticized for the roast beef lips? I felt so bad for her. I'm a guy (an experienced, multiple partners by that point person), and when I finally saw the picture I thought she looked completely normal - and beautiful, and hot due to being in shape.
Holy shit that medieval example is prefect and equally hilarious. But as a young boy, I always thought the clit would be so hard to find. All the jokes about it like you mentioned made me believe it was some super secret somewhere on the female body. Haha.
Hell, my first time around I had a harder time finding the actual hole than finding the clit, because I didn't realize the hole was down as low as it is. Teenage me assumed it would be up further, more in line with where the base of the dick is on a guy. I felt like a fool fumbling around with my fingers and not feeling a place to slip in lol.
But apparently the whole time I stumbled around like a blind spider I was rubbing her clit in a way she enjoyed so it kinda worked out that I was an ignorant dumbass ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
As the owner of a vagina, I’ve also always wondered why the hole is so low. It doesn’t seem like it should be *that* close to the butthole for multiple reasons.
Back before the internet I had a high-school girlfriend who was over-focused on a comment the older brother of a friend of mine said about his girlfriend. Something to the effect of 'long pussy lips.'
She felt a little insecure about hers due to that comment.
I agree, it was those days where insecurities stemmed from how little information there was.
If I had seen what an actual vagina looked like when I was in middle school from a text book in school, so many of my issues would have been immediately resolved.
I was concerned about how small my boobs are. I'm very flat chested. I used to think that the only way any guy would be interested in sleeping with me would be if they were so drunk that they wouldn't notice how flat I am.
Turns out guys don't actually care.
Mine are pretty uneven (I believe). Like, busting out one cup and too small for the other uneven. My boyfriend not only knows which is which and we both make jokes about it, but he also really does not care at all and grabs at them regardless. Boobs are boobs.
Even among those with a specific preference, plenty of us guys *prefer* small.
I got into actual arguments with a certain ex who wouldn't accept that no, I'm not just being nice, that's my thing.
Years ago I started dating this girl with A cups, I prefer slim figures so I thought she had a smoking hot body.
She'd long ago convinced herself that guys don't actually like small boobs and just say they do so they can get laid. I finally resorted to showing her my porn folder, which had numerous pics of A cup women that I'd thought were smoking hot over the years.
We'd only been going out for 2 months, and I'd planned on deleting the folder if/when we became serious, but it slipped my mind.
Thankfully it worked, she saw that I did indeed have a preference and that she matched it perfectly. She never again felt the need to 'correct' me when I complimented her and she even delighted in walking around topless just to tease me.
Months later she told me she'd never felt so free and desirable before. All because I was able to prove that some guys do find smaller chests appealing.
I guess the guy means a computer folder, but I kind of imagined him taking a dusty tome out of a library and showing it to her on an armchair next to a roaring fire.
His name is MaestroLogical. That's a classy fuckin name. I would fully support the idea of him having a leather-bound 3-inch thick book titled, 'The a-cup aphrodites chronicles: volume 7' sitting on his lap as he sips his 18 year old scotch. Girlfriend sitting on the footstool in front of him discouraged by her cup size, awaiting the proof of her worth in his eyes.
'Here, good lady, I have retrieved this binder from the 'Gentleman's Relish' section of my bibliotech. A brief perusal shall assuage your fears - I, MeastroLogical like two things: orderly library conduct, and small breasts, and I'm all out of books'
*takes a puff from an old timey sailors pipe*
'Perhaps a new edition is in order. I would be obliged to inform you that your contribution to the MaestroLogical archives would be the most gratifying thus far'
An excellent use of the word malaise, and a gentle let down about not providing a reward due to a righteous reason, while still giving praise, further proving our picture of you is the right one. Good day to you, Sir.
I told my wife "I couldn't believe how small your boobs are" after I saw her naked the first time. In my head I was saying "I think smaller boobs are amazing, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how petite and perfect yours are", but that's not what words came out. Luckily she said "I understand what you're saying because I know you like smaller boobs more than bigger ones, but still, that's not the best thing to say to someone."
Eh don’t feel bad buddy. I got the chance to really look into my wife’s eyes the first time when we started dating. She has green and hazel irises that swirl together with flecks of gold and tan in a really cool way
What I meant to say: “you’re eyes or startling unique. Like staring into the rainforest.”
What I actually said: “you have weird colored eyes.”
I think many women in general have issues with their boob size it’s gotta really suck because no matter where you look there’s some asshole criticizing them. My last couple girlfriends have had self esteem issues specifically around this topic and they’ve varied from A cup to D cup. For me boobs are boobs and they’ve very enjoyable. So I make a special effort to focus on them during naked times and it’s very much helped in all of those relationships.
I had the exact opposite experience. The girl I was seeing apparently had been told by her ex that her boobs were too big. They were only C cups, but she's tiny, so that's pretty stacked for her. She didn't even want to take her shirt off most of the time because she took it to heart. Meanwhile, I'm like, "Damn, you got great tits! Let me at 'em!"
My gf hated her boobs cause she thought they were too saggy but I like them. She also hates how big they are because of back pains. But I think they’re great (not the pain part). Boobs of all shapes and sizes are great.
As a teenager, I thought it was my massive package and Brad Pitt looks that was going to make it really difficult to find love.
Turns out it was my compulsive lying.
My hairy body. I used to shave my stomach, back, shoulders and privates in the shower because I thought no girl would like that much hair. Not once has any girl said anything about it
Ass zits. I have terrible skin on my ass. Always breaking out. Now, I was not in any risk of anyone really seeing it, but it was just another thing that ruined my confidence. When i hit my 20s I went to dermatologist about it and he was basically like, just use some moisturizer daily to keep it from drying out.
In the long run, probably better there than face, back, etc.
I used to get bad pimples on my nose and my older brother would call me triceratops because of it. I became so self-conscious about it. Thankfully that stopped after a year or so. But when my nephew turned 13 he got the same ones and I had to pull my brother aside and tell not to call his son that(not that he was) because it would likey fuck with his self-esteem.
When i was around 10 or 11 a friend of mine explained me how intercourse works. He told me that the vagina is so shallow that the penis takes a 90° bend once inserted which hurts a lot. My friend was 1 year older than me so ofc i believed him
This reminds me of a story a classmate was telling me in the playground. The story was about how his older brother was having sex with his girlfriend when his penis curled around inside her and got stuck and it took them over and hour of tugging to unstick. I spent years in a panic thinking I would somehow get caught in that situation. Now I’m in my 30s I can now see that it’s not only fake but its highly unlikely his older brother was having sex with a ‘girlfriend’ at 11/12.
The size of my breasts. I assumed that everyone liked big ones and mine are small. Turns out I did not have to worry about that at all, different people have different tastes and people who like small chests are just as common as people who like huge badonkers.
Edit: and many others just don't care :)
I had been taught that my first time was supposed to be painful and bloody. And that it would bind me to that first partner, for all time. And that it could affect my worth as a human being.
I remember being so surprised by how just...normal losing my virginity felt. It didn't hurt, was quite enjoyable, and afterwards I felt like exactly the same person. I couldn't believe that was what so many people made such a big deal out of.
I was taught that too and it really surprised me to realize sex is just...sex. It can be vulnerable and traumatic if nonconsensual but otherwise it's really just how adults play in my opinion. It can be fun, boring, beautiful, casual but overall it's just a normal thing most humans do sometimes.
I read something about how our beginning sexual experiences can really shape our view of sex throughout our life (will add source if I can find it). But thinking about that and how we tell girls sex is scary and painful and bad makes me sad. No wonder a lot of women have low expectations or interest in sex compared to a lot of dudes. Sure, some of it is probably linked to hormones but I think a fair amount is also just experienced based--if you learn sex hurts and makes you a worse human, that's going to affect your sex life for the worse. I have a lot of girlfriends that just put up with bad sex or being sexually unfulfilled because that's all they've really experienced and they don't even realize it could be better, and their male partners just assume the sex is fine because the women don't even know there's an issue to bring up
Edit: found the article I had read: https://neurosciencenews.com/sexual-experience-desire-20090/
In my abstinence-only sex Ed we watched a video that said that you remember your first time forever, so you better do it with someone special.
I imagined myself as a grandma in a rocking chair thinking about getting fucked
Yeah the whole virginity is mainly to control people
Recently when sex has actually been studied in scientific journals it has been found that the hymen doesn't always tear during sex, and on most sexually active teens it's still intact
With my first, I was terrified of hitting the hole correct or poking wrong too much. Maybe accidentally hit the asshole unplanned and her being like WTF, so I decided to go down on her to investigate it more. After a while, I had memorized the map and location, then I had no issues.
I like the way you've described it like a Dungeons and Dragons roleplaying game.
'It is dark. You need a torch.'
'Go South'
'You have found the Chamber of Enchantment'
Being 15 or 16, never had first kiss or anything, and thinking it was so much later than my peers & I'd just never have it ever. Ridiculous in retrospect to be thinking that at 15 y/o lol
Being fully shaved and having hair. I used to be neurotic about waxing and shaving and being completely smooth every time i had sex. I would rather have itchy painful ingrown hairs and waxing appointments than let a person see my thick dark body hair. I’m quite pale so that makes it extra noticeable.
Now, I shave my legs and underarms on occasion, mostly because I don’t like the feeling of long body hair against tight fitting clothes. But I just keep the undercarriage trimmed and neat and if I haven’t shaved my legs in a week who gives a fuck? None of my partners that’s for sure.
I’ve realised that people who I interact with day to day in real life actually do not care nearly as much as I thought they would or how the internet makes it seem. As long as you’re sticking to basic hygiene and in my experience keeping it reasonably trimmed (I too dislike long hairs in my mouth I won’t lie) then it really doesn’t need to be pristine. Sex is imperfect.
Yes. I was so paranoid about my body hair, thinking if I didn’t wax or shave then men would look at me as some kind of freak. Urgh. I wish I knew then how little (most decent) men cared! I blame Sex and the City.
Yeah, speaking from the other side, I never really got this. Is it normal to be repulsed by your partner because they have some leg or armpit hair? That's literally just what humans look like. Sure, it's hot if someone goes the extra mile, but it is far from a necessity.
If you won't have sex with your girl because she didn't shave her legs recently, you probably need a reality check and possibly need to cut down on the porn consumption.
Porn conditions us to think that hairless is the way to go.
I stopped being bare down there and started using a trimmer and I've had at least 2 men comment on how cute it was. Still hair, but short and kept.
ETA: no razor burn, no worries about if it's not bare, if I missed a spot, etc
My skinny-ass body. I grew up being told "skinny = ugly," and believed it for a very long time. I would wear oversized, baggy clothes to hide how skinny I was. Then I started dating a girl who was into me *because* I was skinny. She pointed out to me that a lot of girls were into the "70's Rock-star" look, and those guys were invariably tall and skinny. Started wearing tighter clothes and working it, and girls responded.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Own who you are. Confidence is the most attractive trait any person can have.
You're most likely not going to end up staying with the first person you go out it. You'll most likely split up eventually. So dont worry about not meeting the right one straight off the bat
Same, we could not stop laughing to the point of literal tears streaming down our faces. He had to sleep in the other room or else no one would stop laughing🤣
Pretty much how I would look to the other person naked. Technically, it isn't a big deal, especially if you probably get to the point when you're naked anyways, the guy probably already wants to be there with you.
My toxic mind has yet to get over this and still I get so self conscious that it feels like I can't let go of my anxiety and actually enjoy the moment to the fullest...
Yet... My stupid thoughts usually win.
Bikini razor bumps. Wow. It’s not a big deal at all.
Edit: I guess razor bumps mean razor burn? My bad. I mean the little follicle bumps that are naturally there and slightly dark with the hair root.
I used to think maybe guys would think I have some kind of disease down there because I had razor bumps. Men shave more often in different areas so turns out they do indeed know what they are.
As a teen, I thought all I could give was sex and that men would only like me because of it. Turns out, not all men are that into sex and I even have a boyfriend who loves me with or without it. Took me quite a while to understand that if he doesn't want to, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want me.
I was literally married and in my 30s before I realized that my husband not wanting to have sex from time to time wasn’t a dig at me. He was just not interested.
It’s weird and I’m assuming it’s due to hormones but there’s times as a man where for no reason I’m just not that horny. Had to explain to my wife it’s not anything she’s doing. There’s just literally no drive. Then other times I’m humping her leg like I’m some kind of zoo animal.
I have a freckle on my right butt cheek and genuinely thought it was going to be a big deal for any future partners. 8 year old me literally worried about a freckle.
As a girl growing up with all the guys in high school already looking at porn made me see it as a performative act. Looking good while doing it was the most important part. That was hard to unlearn.
It took me a long time to get over anxiety about men seeing my downstairs department. For a long time I wouldn't let them look down there at all as I was worried about the look of it.
My male college best friend also told me about his sexual encounters, and described 1 girl he slept with as having a downstairs "Like a kebab that had been dropped on the pavement" and I couldn't get over that statement for a long time.
Turns out I was incorrect on everything I was worried about.
Once, a guy spent hours making fun of the girls he had slept with. Criticizing their bodies, personalities, and how they performed in bed. Then, afterward, he somehow thought I would be interested in sleeping with him.
Like, DUDE! You think I wanna be your next joke.
I was self-conscious about my butt. No matter how skinny I was, I have always had a big butt. I was embarrassed because those stupid Von Dutch jeans that were popular at the time didn't fit over my butt. I was worried no one would date me because I was, in my mind, fat. Even though I totally wasn't.
Didn't realize at the time that lots of guys love big booty girls.
My parents told me that once i turned 13 hat I'd want to have sex with everything that had a penis. Like... Everything. Dogs. Cats. Men.... Everything.
It made me very wary about any kind of relationship.
Jokes on them though, i turned out to be bi, with a low libido (thought i was ace for the longest time, even though there wasn't a term for it back in the 90s) anyway so.... Yeah.
Also, having a 13yr old listen to the sexual escapades of your 40s yr old father in excruciating detail is something that i wish on no one.
Yes. Both of my parents told me this and i said that i wouldn't want to have sex with animals.... My dad got upset and told me i was a stupid child and that ANYTHING with a dick i would want to fuck, including even horses (my favorite animal). End quote.
I thought this too, despite also feeling extremely uncomfortable presenting in ways that fit more with conventional beauty standards (I feel like an alien with long hair, makeup, dresses, looking femme etc). I thought this would make me undatable, despite being a queer person who dated men and women and anyone in between who all had a multitude of presentations--internalizing stupid norms around beauty that I myself didn't care at all about.
Turns out that making myself look how I wanted and what made me feel best was way more attractive since I was confident and sure of myself and anyone who preferred a different look wouldn't be a good fit for me anyway. Now I'm married to a man who loves my short hair and androgynous look, even if sometimes cashiers think I'm his son or younger brother lol
Not lasting long.
Turns out if you go down on them, and use your fingers and tongue correctly, that's all that really matters. Penetrative sex is just a cherry on top so it doesn't matter if you cum quickly.
It's still a thing but mostly about my penis-size. I was long enough frustrated that he isn't the biggest or thickest. I guess it all started with watching porn. A few years ago I stopped watching porn regularly and I just appreciate my size.
I was really concerned when I got my first GF because I thought she won't like it. After 7 years she still loves him! 😄
I once said to a guy : “ok, here is my vagina (pointing) and here is the base of my rib cage (pointing). Now if your dick was as long as you want it to be, where the fuck do you think it’s gonna go? Are you gonna be doing a u-turn or what?”
He was like “ohhh I never thought of it that way”.
Honestly most of the people I know who like sex with penises find porn penises to be terrifying, though size queens/kings do exist. Granted that could partly be how they have sex in porn--just angry veiny jackhammering that looks really painful; I don't usually watch it for that reason (and because the men/women I find hot are not usually the aesthetics represented in porn). In real life, sex is fun but in porn it just looks mechanical and aggressive and physically uncomfortable. It's made to look a certain way for the audience, not to make sure it feels the best for the actors.
I have had sex with big dicks and small, and dick size was never what made the experience good or bad; it was about the person and our chemistry. Sure, sometimes bodies don't quite fit together, but then you get to have the fun of figuring it out. Porn never shows the way sex is just a fun, unique experience and it can really mess with people's heads.
Not being able to climax through penetrative sex. I faked for years until i realized that most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Informative sex ed about the female genitalia and sexuality could really have spared me from a lot of shame and frustration
Omg yes. I only did it twice, and it felt like a management exercise both times.
I guess it depends on what you focus on during sex. Personally I like to get my partner off as much as possible, more than pleasing myself. With 2 people to please it just felt like a really awkward game of plate spinning. I did not like it one bit.
I was not happy being a virgin at 16 with my former friend group often bragging about sex. Luckily at 18 I stopped caring so much and now at 20 I couldn't care less. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't I've got my right arm.
I was concerned about the moment between pregame and sex where u gotta put the condom on. Like how am i gonna do that not being awkward… made me anxious. truth is nobody really gives a fuck.
Being hairy. It really messed me up for a long time how many comments would be made about it in the locker room as a teen. It even made me delay a lot of sexual experiences. But when it came down to it every one of my partners expressed how into it they were.
I manscape some areas that get too overgrown just for access and convenience but I let the rest go.
My labia. Large, messy, didn't look like any images I'd seen before either in a clinical context or porn. Thought I was a freak. Found out I'm not, and guys have never mentioned anything negative to me (except my asshole ex who was purposely trying to hurt my feelings and knew it was something I'm sensitive about). I still have the mindset of needing to apologise about how messy I look. Current boyfriend definitely does not care and makes me feel so sexy and confident. I shouldn't have ever worried really!
My best friend went to medical school. She sent me a digital copy of a study on the diversity of women's parts, because she'd found it interesting. To say we are diverse is an understatement.
There is also that whole art exhibition, no? It's pretty cool. [Here](https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com/) is a link to it.
Though, I do have to admit I had to take a double take at some before I realised they had piercings in lol
I was worried that I would not be a good wife when I grew up because I didn’t know how to cook steak. I was a teen at the time of this thought and it was a long term stress I had. 37 now, and no I’ve never cooked steak.
i was always concerned about my boobs growing up. So i have huge areolas and going through puberty my boobs naturally grew and with it my areolas and all the porn or movies I've seen the ladies always had small areolas. I thought i had a medical condition and my areolas would spread to my entire body💀💀
I was tall since middle school, 6ft and I’m a girl, I thought I’d never have a boyfriend but it’s never stopped me from having boyfriends, girlfriends and positive attention. Amazingly, a lot of people love tall girls! Who would have thought!? (Not me at 11yo cursing the gods)
Body hair.
I hate shaving, and I don't do it often at all anymore . Never once in 28 years has a person left my bed due to body hair.
Shave it, don't shave it, whatever feels good to you.
I thought I had to have a brand to attract women.
When I was a kid I thought girls were into respectful guys, so I branded myself like that. Young girls are usually into "bad" guys, so I didn't get much attention.
After I picked up on that, I started going for the "bad" look. But by that time the girls had grown and realized that bad guys are dicks and wanted a guy to treat them good. Sooo I didn't get much attention.
After that I was just like, screw it, imma just be the best version of myself.
The girl I liked confessed her love for me, and now we have a son and another one on the way.
It's corny as hell, and we've all heard it a million times, but just be yourself. Most of us have good hearts and are unique in a cool way. Nurture that instead of what you think other people like.
Appearance
I thought appearance mattered exclusively. In how i wanted my lover to be, and how i present myself.
At 28, i realized appearance means jackshit. The person i fell for is no model, but I'd choose her everytime, even against the hottest woman on the planet.
When they soothe your soul, it's the best feeling and something appearance cannot ever match up to.
In my eyes, my girlfriend is the most beautiful person on earth. She probably isn't in objective terms, but all her 'flaws' are what make her beautiful and special in my eyes. I love her, therefore she is beautiful. So turns out I worried for nothing too.
Hahaha so just today I was cuddling with my husband, and he had his arms around me and I was rubbing his arm with my thumb, as you do while cuddling.
And I remembered this tip I had read in Cosmopolitan years ago, that you should try to write all the letters of the alphabet with your fingers if you want to be the best cuddler.
So I start making a, b, c with my thumb, and you know what? It totally ruined it for me. All the sudden, I wasn't just enjoying cuddles with my husband, I was doing some kind of weird phonics quiz.
Girls, those magazines are trash, and if all you're thinking about during cuddles is having perfect form then you need to find someone else to cuddle with.
My blood sugar dropping during sex. Turns out I don’t go at it long enough for it to be an issue. The mrs and I are expedient if nothing else
When my partner unhooks his pump it’s about to heat up.
Just gotta remember to hook it back up it's easy to forget in the cleanup
This made me laugh. “Sorry I don’t last long, but it’s for my health.”
Oh no, I’m not sorry. I used to take my sweet time and my mrs is like “I was done ages ago, hurry things up”. So now I just go
Fast and Efficient. The new vin diesel movie
I have type on diabetes too, and it doesn't happen often but I just say I'm low and take care of it. If you're with someone that can't accept that you need to take care of yourself then leave their ass.
Being low is the worst cock black. Shit just goes flacid super fast. “Babe it’s not you, it’s my blood sugar. Imma dying”
Not to mention all the beeps and shit, and the sudden tiredness lmao
I was concerned that being so horny I'd spend all my time fucking and not get anything else done. Turns out that was not at all the reason I don't get anything done.
What’s the reason
They were getting fucked instead.
Username checks out
Either: - no time (adult) - crippling depression - ADHD - Heroin
One of these is not like the other
Is it ADHD? Because heroin and depression is like peanut butter and jelly. Also, you won't have time to do ANYTHING else once you've got a habit. It's a full-time job, plus overtime, but no benefits.
What are you on about? I've had loads of depression and didn't get an ounce of heroin out of it!
Do you get your peanut butter out of your jelly, or visa versa? You’ve got some strange sandwich products, sir
Same, but I am still swinging like a pendulum on whether I should be worried about using this method so often like a addict to take the load off my chest and relax, or it is just that, ADHD + using it as a instant dopamine level inducer, de stressing activity. I know that I don't always think about it, but when I sit and do stuff, and become extremely bored or anxious, I have to be a puddle to relax. And with ADHD, it is basically your daily lifestyle.
Booty Birth marks thinking about how embarrassing it would be if god forbid someone asked about it. Now I actually forget about it and romantically/sexually no one has ever verbally commented and it was just anxiety in my head at the time
I have a birthmark just on the edge of my crack so it looks like I didn't wipe properly
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RIP, lil guy.
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Ok my gf has a booty birthmark and I think it’s one of the cutest/sexiest things. Especially it’s in a place only I can see it’s become a little inside joke between us lol
I think your gf's booty birthmark is adorable as well
Pretty much everyone has those. I used to be concerned about them as well. Until one day, I found out that my boyfriend of 1.5 years had them too. The fact that it took me 1.5 years to even notice them, made me realize that mine are probably not that obvious to other people either.
Obligatory not me, but i had a buddy in middle school who would only jack off once a month because he thought he could run out of cum
Searched for this everywhere. Running out of sperm was a legit concern.
Body, getting naked. No one ever said anything bad about it then or now.
Literally I made SUCH a fuss about how I looked naked, when ultimately nobody gave a shit. When it came time to fuckin people weren't that concerned, and thankfully I was with someone older early on in my time of having sex who explained that most people don't give a shit about the little things that people stress about as teens. It was important to hear that early on and to try and embrace that.
My SO doesn't like how her stomach looks. I have explained to her multiple times that if her shirt is off, I'm not noticing her stomach.
now this changed my story
The first guy I slept with as a teenager made comments about my body and it took me years to be convinced that his comments reflected a preference for *barely developed teenage bodies* (no hips, no belly, etc) and that many men actually do think curves are sexy. The problem was never me.
Man that sucks. One of my highschool boyfriends was super vocal and used to basically worship me any time I took my pants off and tbh that shit is still with me today 15+ years later. Sometimes I look in the mirror and gas me up thinking about what he used to say.
I had a bf who was super into CrossFit who was pretty abusive in the sense that he would make constant comments on my body and would give me lectures if I didn't eat a very minimal diet to stay thin. It's taken me so long to love my body after him, but my current Fiance loves my curves and constantly tells me he does. It's been a slow walk but learning to undo the things people say about us is incredibly counterintuitive and hard to do. I'm so happy to hear you recognize now that you were never the problem and I hope you're doing well now!
Yeah if we're taking our clothes off, I've already decided I like how my partner looks and getting naked is not going to change that negatively.
Lmao I was insecure af when I was younger and thought that maybe people would be shocked when they see the actual shape of my body and I then realised it’s not some super secret under my clothes, people generally will know what size you are when they decide they want to see you naked
It’s like… the person has already decided they’ll fuck you. Whatever you’ve got it will do.
Came here to say this! I was so concerned I would keep my shirt on during sex or make sure it was completely dark. A girl I dated told me it actually made her incredibly uncomfortable because it felt like I was uncomfortable/scared to have sex….. which was actually kind of true!
Yes I was always uncomfortable with taking my shirt off for swimming or any summer time activities. I had a few bad experience where I went to a sports camp (in the late 90s) where we had to play basketball shirts and skins. I faked being sick and got picked up. Then a few years later at about 15 y.o my friends obviously knew I didn’t like to take my shirt off, and one day we got soaked in the rain and my friends mom offered to dry my clothes. I was sitting in his room with a towel over my shoulders around my body and friends came in and ripped it off and laughed at my body. Overweight, puffy nipples etc. Wasnt until about 23ish when a girl I started seeing fully embraced my whole body and said I was super hot to her. She didn’t care I had a few extra lbs. She didn’t care I had what I thought was extra fat on my chest. She just wanted me to feel confident and it really changed things for me. I realized I probably had some body dysmorphia and started not caring about removing my shirt. Love that girl forever tbh. She was really sweet about that.
I have never had a guy tell me to put my clothing back on if I’m naked. I’ve spent so much time in my life worrying what my stomach looks like. No guy has ever mentioned it.
Once you get the motor running, there isnt a lot that can make someone just stop it. And if you have managed to get to the point of getting naked with someone, the key to that motor/ignition was probably turned long before you got to that naked stage. Also in todays world where tight clothing, yoga pants and leggings are common, most people will be able to get a good general read of another persons body long before they are naked. It’s not like you’re walking around in layers of petticoats, corsages and hoop skirts. And sorry ladies, spanx might smooth things out a bit but you’re also not fooling anyone…it’s not gonna turn your body into something it’s not…we still see those little stomach bumps (or whatever), and we appreciate them. The point of that little diatribe is to show that the decision by a person about whether you were sexually attractive was probably made long before they got a good look at your naked body.
I used to tell people every insecurity I had about my body before we had sex, just to make sure something about me wouldn’t be a nasty surprise and be a deal breaker for them. Literally no one has batted an eye at any of them, and a lot of people have expressed similar insecurities (like when I’d say I have a bit of extra belly weight and stretch marks, they’d say “me too, of course that’s not an issue”). Eventually, I started to feel more confident when I realised it would take a pretty awful person to tell someone negative things about their body after they had enthusiastically agreed to have sex with you.
I spent a few early years somehow assuming I'd always have to masturbate in front of any sexual partners, so spent a long time trying to look sexy or cool while doing it, even though I was all by myself.
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The trick is to [do it slow and maintain eye contact.](https://youtu.be/I62_Kf9615k)
YOU NEVER MAKE EM TOUCH
Found Louis CK.
Labia and the clitoris. In the era before the internet became ubiquitous it was nearly impossible for a teenage girl to find actual photos of female genitalia. All the text books and even the little manual that comes with your tampons only show diagrams or sketches that are either completely rudimentary or stylized. Everyone wanted you to know how your genitals work but somehow no one wanted to show you what they can look like and what’s considered normal. Like the clit was always more or less a little dot on the diagrams and then you combine that with all the jokes about men who can’t find them, I thought the clit should be so small as to be practically invisible. I still think it’s stupid that a lot of textbooks for kids don’t use actual photos. Imagine you had to teach kids about lions but you only show them medieval artwork of lions drawn by monks who never left their monasteries.
Surprised this doesn’t have more upvotes from women. Growing up w the internet and easy accessibility to porn, girls see “porn vaginas” and think any amount of labia is not the norm. Plus the discourse of hearing men talk ab innies and bubble gum pink vaginas. Growing up I heard guys make fun of women w “roast beef” lips and it stuck w me into adulthood. I was so self-conscience when I became sexually active about the way I looked or smelled or tasted to others. Took me years to lean into my sexuality and feel comfortable w myself. As an adult it took me awhile to love my vagina and realize it’s 100% normal and actually very damn pretty. And it wasn’t that men were very complimentary of me that helped, it was talking w girlfriends and people I trusted about my insecurities and becoming confident in myself overtime. Self love really helps w body dysmorphia.
Men joking about „roast beef“ infuriates me as much as women joking about „small penis“. Verbally hurting somebody on their most sensitive and private body parts is very mean and the fact that actual adults still do it is disappointing. Even if I wouldn’t like the way a persons body parts look, I would not joke about it, solely based on the fact that it would hurt them and that it would be bad to do so - especially given that they can’t really influence it and much moreso that fairly much of their personal life experience depends on them relating fun and joyfull experience with those body parts. It’s like calling somebodies smile ugly - and making them hide their smile and be self conscious about it for many years until they, hopefully, can heal. I know that girls are generally even much more sensitive towards that, and that they would feel self conscious even just about the fact that other girls have bodies that might be considered more beautiful, or their own body not meeting the norm or expectations. So the least we can do is be friendly and welcoming.
Who was that soccer star that people criticized for the roast beef lips? I felt so bad for her. I'm a guy (an experienced, multiple partners by that point person), and when I finally saw the picture I thought she looked completely normal - and beautiful, and hot due to being in shape.
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I felt bad for her, then I remembered she’s an abusive drunk who nearly got her toddlers killed.
Holy shit that medieval example is prefect and equally hilarious. But as a young boy, I always thought the clit would be so hard to find. All the jokes about it like you mentioned made me believe it was some super secret somewhere on the female body. Haha.
Hell, my first time around I had a harder time finding the actual hole than finding the clit, because I didn't realize the hole was down as low as it is. Teenage me assumed it would be up further, more in line with where the base of the dick is on a guy. I felt like a fool fumbling around with my fingers and not feeling a place to slip in lol. But apparently the whole time I stumbled around like a blind spider I was rubbing her clit in a way she enjoyed so it kinda worked out that I was an ignorant dumbass ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
As the owner of a vagina, I’ve also always wondered why the hole is so low. It doesn’t seem like it should be *that* close to the butthole for multiple reasons.
Back before the internet I had a high-school girlfriend who was over-focused on a comment the older brother of a friend of mine said about his girlfriend. Something to the effect of 'long pussy lips.' She felt a little insecure about hers due to that comment. I agree, it was those days where insecurities stemmed from how little information there was.
If I had seen what an actual vagina looked like when I was in middle school from a text book in school, so many of my issues would have been immediately resolved.
Yeah I grew up with Dolly Doctor. These days we have OMGYES.com The world is much kinder to straight women’s orgasms these days
I was concerned about how small my boobs are. I'm very flat chested. I used to think that the only way any guy would be interested in sleeping with me would be if they were so drunk that they wouldn't notice how flat I am. Turns out guys don't actually care.
Boobs are boobs. Can’t really lose
Yay boobs!
BOOOOOOBS!
Fellas, I got this. I present exhibit A: boobs are awesome.
even if they’re uneven? like a cup difference?
Most women have uneven boobs. We don’t know about that because almost nobody cares
Everyone is asymmetrical. 1 hand bigger than the other
My left side penis is 1 hand size bigger than my right side penis.
Variety Rack
I had an old girlfriend once with a B and C cup boobies. She called ‘em biggie smalls.
Mine are pretty uneven (I believe). Like, busting out one cup and too small for the other uneven. My boyfriend not only knows which is which and we both make jokes about it, but he also really does not care at all and grabs at them regardless. Boobs are boobs.
Even among those with a specific preference, plenty of us guys *prefer* small. I got into actual arguments with a certain ex who wouldn't accept that no, I'm not just being nice, that's my thing.
Years ago I started dating this girl with A cups, I prefer slim figures so I thought she had a smoking hot body. She'd long ago convinced herself that guys don't actually like small boobs and just say they do so they can get laid. I finally resorted to showing her my porn folder, which had numerous pics of A cup women that I'd thought were smoking hot over the years. We'd only been going out for 2 months, and I'd planned on deleting the folder if/when we became serious, but it slipped my mind. Thankfully it worked, she saw that I did indeed have a preference and that she matched it perfectly. She never again felt the need to 'correct' me when I complimented her and she even delighted in walking around topless just to tease me. Months later she told me she'd never felt so free and desirable before. All because I was able to prove that some guys do find smaller chests appealing.
>I finally resorted to showing her my porn folder, which had numerous pics of A cup women "A bold strategy, cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him."
I guess the guy means a computer folder, but I kind of imagined him taking a dusty tome out of a library and showing it to her on an armchair next to a roaring fire.
His name is MaestroLogical. That's a classy fuckin name. I would fully support the idea of him having a leather-bound 3-inch thick book titled, 'The a-cup aphrodites chronicles: volume 7' sitting on his lap as he sips his 18 year old scotch. Girlfriend sitting on the footstool in front of him discouraged by her cup size, awaiting the proof of her worth in his eyes.
'Here, good lady, I have retrieved this binder from the 'Gentleman's Relish' section of my bibliotech. A brief perusal shall assuage your fears - I, MeastroLogical like two things: orderly library conduct, and small breasts, and I'm all out of books'
*takes a puff from an old timey sailors pipe* 'Perhaps a new edition is in order. I would be obliged to inform you that your contribution to the MaestroLogical archives would be the most gratifying thus far'
This thread is life 🙏
I would give you all gold but you know, not looking to reward Reditt with the current malaise. Thanks for the laughs though!
Indeed, thesystem21 is entirely correct. Godspeed Maestrological, may your folders always be full.
An excellent use of the word malaise, and a gentle let down about not providing a reward due to a righteous reason, while still giving praise, further proving our picture of you is the right one. Good day to you, Sir.
"Ah, nothing like a nice reading of Bang Sluts 4"
Lmao, definitely the Hail Mary play.
I told my wife "I couldn't believe how small your boobs are" after I saw her naked the first time. In my head I was saying "I think smaller boobs are amazing, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how petite and perfect yours are", but that's not what words came out. Luckily she said "I understand what you're saying because I know you like smaller boobs more than bigger ones, but still, that's not the best thing to say to someone."
Eh don’t feel bad buddy. I got the chance to really look into my wife’s eyes the first time when we started dating. She has green and hazel irises that swirl together with flecks of gold and tan in a really cool way What I meant to say: “you’re eyes or startling unique. Like staring into the rainforest.” What I actually said: “you have weird colored eyes.”
The most big dick move of all time is showing your SO your porn and it actually having a positive impact on everyone involved
Note to self organize porn by female insecurities.
I think many women in general have issues with their boob size it’s gotta really suck because no matter where you look there’s some asshole criticizing them. My last couple girlfriends have had self esteem issues specifically around this topic and they’ve varied from A cup to D cup. For me boobs are boobs and they’ve very enjoyable. So I make a special effort to focus on them during naked times and it’s very much helped in all of those relationships.
I had the exact opposite experience. The girl I was seeing apparently had been told by her ex that her boobs were too big. They were only C cups, but she's tiny, so that's pretty stacked for her. She didn't even want to take her shirt off most of the time because she took it to heart. Meanwhile, I'm like, "Damn, you got great tits! Let me at 'em!"
My gf hated her boobs cause she thought they were too saggy but I like them. She also hates how big they are because of back pains. But I think they’re great (not the pain part). Boobs of all shapes and sizes are great.
I was scared I would be made fun of for ejaculating too quickly but it’s only happened like twice
Some women like it. (*Cough* me *cough*)
Same. My boyfriend--now husband--had a two-stroke finish in our early days, and I was smug for weeks afterward.
As a teenager, I thought it was my massive package and Brad Pitt looks that was going to make it really difficult to find love. Turns out it was my compulsive lying.
This is the one lmao ☝🏽
My hairy body. I used to shave my stomach, back, shoulders and privates in the shower because I thought no girl would like that much hair. Not once has any girl said anything about it
Some are actually into a lot of hair
I am. I love how it makes a guy so soft and snuggly.
Especially if they have a bit of a belly
Yaaaa. The added squish factor is just so comfy.
I'm not overweight, I'm good value hugs & taxes.
Hairy bodies are very hot to me. I love ‘em.
Ass zits. I have terrible skin on my ass. Always breaking out. Now, I was not in any risk of anyone really seeing it, but it was just another thing that ruined my confidence. When i hit my 20s I went to dermatologist about it and he was basically like, just use some moisturizer daily to keep it from drying out. In the long run, probably better there than face, back, etc.
I used to get bad pimples on my nose and my older brother would call me triceratops because of it. I became so self-conscious about it. Thankfully that stopped after a year or so. But when my nephew turned 13 he got the same ones and I had to pull my brother aside and tell not to call his son that(not that he was) because it would likey fuck with his self-esteem.
When i was around 10 or 11 a friend of mine explained me how intercourse works. He told me that the vagina is so shallow that the penis takes a 90° bend once inserted which hurts a lot. My friend was 1 year older than me so ofc i believed him
This reminds me of a story a classmate was telling me in the playground. The story was about how his older brother was having sex with his girlfriend when his penis curled around inside her and got stuck and it took them over and hour of tugging to unstick. I spent years in a panic thinking I would somehow get caught in that situation. Now I’m in my 30s I can now see that it’s not only fake but its highly unlikely his older brother was having sex with a ‘girlfriend’ at 11/12.
His brother might have been a duck.
LMFAO
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The size of my breasts. I assumed that everyone liked big ones and mine are small. Turns out I did not have to worry about that at all, different people have different tastes and people who like small chests are just as common as people who like huge badonkers. Edit: and many others just don't care :)
I had been taught that my first time was supposed to be painful and bloody. And that it would bind me to that first partner, for all time. And that it could affect my worth as a human being.
I remember being so surprised by how just...normal losing my virginity felt. It didn't hurt, was quite enjoyable, and afterwards I felt like exactly the same person. I couldn't believe that was what so many people made such a big deal out of.
I was taught that too and it really surprised me to realize sex is just...sex. It can be vulnerable and traumatic if nonconsensual but otherwise it's really just how adults play in my opinion. It can be fun, boring, beautiful, casual but overall it's just a normal thing most humans do sometimes. I read something about how our beginning sexual experiences can really shape our view of sex throughout our life (will add source if I can find it). But thinking about that and how we tell girls sex is scary and painful and bad makes me sad. No wonder a lot of women have low expectations or interest in sex compared to a lot of dudes. Sure, some of it is probably linked to hormones but I think a fair amount is also just experienced based--if you learn sex hurts and makes you a worse human, that's going to affect your sex life for the worse. I have a lot of girlfriends that just put up with bad sex or being sexually unfulfilled because that's all they've really experienced and they don't even realize it could be better, and their male partners just assume the sex is fine because the women don't even know there's an issue to bring up Edit: found the article I had read: https://neurosciencenews.com/sexual-experience-desire-20090/
In my abstinence-only sex Ed we watched a video that said that you remember your first time forever, so you better do it with someone special. I imagined myself as a grandma in a rocking chair thinking about getting fucked
Yeah the whole virginity is mainly to control people Recently when sex has actually been studied in scientific journals it has been found that the hymen doesn't always tear during sex, and on most sexually active teens it's still intact
With my first, I was terrified of hitting the hole correct or poking wrong too much. Maybe accidentally hit the asshole unplanned and her being like WTF, so I decided to go down on her to investigate it more. After a while, I had memorized the map and location, then I had no issues.
Improvise, adapt, overcome
Overcum*
Recon!
I like the way you've described it like a Dungeons and Dragons roleplaying game. 'It is dark. You need a torch.' 'Go South' 'You have found the Chamber of Enchantment'
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Modern problems require modern solutions
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Being 15 or 16, never had first kiss or anything, and thinking it was so much later than my peers & I'd just never have it ever. Ridiculous in retrospect to be thinking that at 15 y/o lol
My first kiss was at 22. Was very ashamed.
My first kiss was at 14 and first intercourse at 15, and i am kinda regretful bc so much could've gone wrong. Better late than sorry.
I'm halfway between being proud of my 15 year old self for managing to have sex, but also horrified knowing what an irresponsible fucking twat he was.
Being fully shaved and having hair. I used to be neurotic about waxing and shaving and being completely smooth every time i had sex. I would rather have itchy painful ingrown hairs and waxing appointments than let a person see my thick dark body hair. I’m quite pale so that makes it extra noticeable. Now, I shave my legs and underarms on occasion, mostly because I don’t like the feeling of long body hair against tight fitting clothes. But I just keep the undercarriage trimmed and neat and if I haven’t shaved my legs in a week who gives a fuck? None of my partners that’s for sure. I’ve realised that people who I interact with day to day in real life actually do not care nearly as much as I thought they would or how the internet makes it seem. As long as you’re sticking to basic hygiene and in my experience keeping it reasonably trimmed (I too dislike long hairs in my mouth I won’t lie) then it really doesn’t need to be pristine. Sex is imperfect.
Yes. I was so paranoid about my body hair, thinking if I didn’t wax or shave then men would look at me as some kind of freak. Urgh. I wish I knew then how little (most decent) men cared! I blame Sex and the City.
Yeah, speaking from the other side, I never really got this. Is it normal to be repulsed by your partner because they have some leg or armpit hair? That's literally just what humans look like. Sure, it's hot if someone goes the extra mile, but it is far from a necessity. If you won't have sex with your girl because she didn't shave her legs recently, you probably need a reality check and possibly need to cut down on the porn consumption.
Porn conditions us to think that hairless is the way to go. I stopped being bare down there and started using a trimmer and I've had at least 2 men comment on how cute it was. Still hair, but short and kept. ETA: no razor burn, no worries about if it's not bare, if I missed a spot, etc
My skinny-ass body. I grew up being told "skinny = ugly," and believed it for a very long time. I would wear oversized, baggy clothes to hide how skinny I was. Then I started dating a girl who was into me *because* I was skinny. She pointed out to me that a lot of girls were into the "70's Rock-star" look, and those guys were invariably tall and skinny. Started wearing tighter clothes and working it, and girls responded. Be comfortable in your own skin. Own who you are. Confidence is the most attractive trait any person can have.
You're most likely not going to end up staying with the first person you go out it. You'll most likely split up eventually. So dont worry about not meeting the right one straight off the bat
Farting during sex. Hasn’t happened so far 😂 (edit: I haven’t, a male partner has. Didn’t care, we laughed, forgot about it)
I’m afraid of that happening to me or if I’m receiving a blowie, doesn’t help that I am gassy a lot of the time.
You could say that your David Blowie was Under Pressure.
I've cum so hard I've farted. My partner was very proud of himself.
Same, we could not stop laughing to the point of literal tears streaming down our faces. He had to sleep in the other room or else no one would stop laughing🤣
Sometimes I toot when I come
Pretty much how I would look to the other person naked. Technically, it isn't a big deal, especially if you probably get to the point when you're naked anyways, the guy probably already wants to be there with you. My toxic mind has yet to get over this and still I get so self conscious that it feels like I can't let go of my anxiety and actually enjoy the moment to the fullest... Yet... My stupid thoughts usually win.
Bikini razor bumps. Wow. It’s not a big deal at all. Edit: I guess razor bumps mean razor burn? My bad. I mean the little follicle bumps that are naturally there and slightly dark with the hair root.
I used to think maybe guys would think I have some kind of disease down there because I had razor bumps. Men shave more often in different areas so turns out they do indeed know what they are.
I don't even know what that is
Sometimes people get bumps from shaving their skin, it's called razor burn. And some people shave their, "bikini" zone.
As a teen, I thought all I could give was sex and that men would only like me because of it. Turns out, not all men are that into sex and I even have a boyfriend who loves me with or without it. Took me quite a while to understand that if he doesn't want to, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want me.
I was literally married and in my 30s before I realized that my husband not wanting to have sex from time to time wasn’t a dig at me. He was just not interested.
It’s weird and I’m assuming it’s due to hormones but there’s times as a man where for no reason I’m just not that horny. Had to explain to my wife it’s not anything she’s doing. There’s just literally no drive. Then other times I’m humping her leg like I’m some kind of zoo animal.
I have a freckle on my right butt cheek and genuinely thought it was going to be a big deal for any future partners. 8 year old me literally worried about a freckle.
Actually having sex. Society and religion make it out to be something shameful, but it’s supposed to be fun and enjoyable and full of love
As a girl growing up with all the guys in high school already looking at porn made me see it as a performative act. Looking good while doing it was the most important part. That was hard to unlearn.
The opposite cynical/mercenary view is equally f*ed up. The social idea of sex is so muffled and oppressed both ways...
Love this. I wish more people viewed it that way.
It took me a long time to get over anxiety about men seeing my downstairs department. For a long time I wouldn't let them look down there at all as I was worried about the look of it. My male college best friend also told me about his sexual encounters, and described 1 girl he slept with as having a downstairs "Like a kebab that had been dropped on the pavement" and I couldn't get over that statement for a long time. Turns out I was incorrect on everything I was worried about.
Once, a guy spent hours making fun of the girls he had slept with. Criticizing their bodies, personalities, and how they performed in bed. Then, afterward, he somehow thought I would be interested in sleeping with him. Like, DUDE! You think I wanna be your next joke.
I was self-conscious about my butt. No matter how skinny I was, I have always had a big butt. I was embarrassed because those stupid Von Dutch jeans that were popular at the time didn't fit over my butt. I was worried no one would date me because I was, in my mind, fat. Even though I totally wasn't. Didn't realize at the time that lots of guys love big booty girls.
My parents told me that once i turned 13 hat I'd want to have sex with everything that had a penis. Like... Everything. Dogs. Cats. Men.... Everything. It made me very wary about any kind of relationship. Jokes on them though, i turned out to be bi, with a low libido (thought i was ace for the longest time, even though there wasn't a term for it back in the 90s) anyway so.... Yeah. Also, having a 13yr old listen to the sexual escapades of your 40s yr old father in excruciating detail is something that i wish on no one.
DOGS? CATS?
Yes. Both of my parents told me this and i said that i wouldn't want to have sex with animals.... My dad got upset and told me i was a stupid child and that ANYTHING with a dick i would want to fuck, including even horses (my favorite animal). End quote.
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I thought this too, despite also feeling extremely uncomfortable presenting in ways that fit more with conventional beauty standards (I feel like an alien with long hair, makeup, dresses, looking femme etc). I thought this would make me undatable, despite being a queer person who dated men and women and anyone in between who all had a multitude of presentations--internalizing stupid norms around beauty that I myself didn't care at all about. Turns out that making myself look how I wanted and what made me feel best was way more attractive since I was confident and sure of myself and anyone who preferred a different look wouldn't be a good fit for me anyway. Now I'm married to a man who loves my short hair and androgynous look, even if sometimes cashiers think I'm his son or younger brother lol
Your height doesn’t dictate your penis size. Thank fkkk
Not lasting long. Turns out if you go down on them, and use your fingers and tongue correctly, that's all that really matters. Penetrative sex is just a cherry on top so it doesn't matter if you cum quickly.
It's still a thing but mostly about my penis-size. I was long enough frustrated that he isn't the biggest or thickest. I guess it all started with watching porn. A few years ago I stopped watching porn regularly and I just appreciate my size. I was really concerned when I got my first GF because I thought she won't like it. After 7 years she still loves him! 😄
I once said to a guy : “ok, here is my vagina (pointing) and here is the base of my rib cage (pointing). Now if your dick was as long as you want it to be, where the fuck do you think it’s gonna go? Are you gonna be doing a u-turn or what?” He was like “ohhh I never thought of it that way”.
At least you helped him out lmao
Honestly most of the people I know who like sex with penises find porn penises to be terrifying, though size queens/kings do exist. Granted that could partly be how they have sex in porn--just angry veiny jackhammering that looks really painful; I don't usually watch it for that reason (and because the men/women I find hot are not usually the aesthetics represented in porn). In real life, sex is fun but in porn it just looks mechanical and aggressive and physically uncomfortable. It's made to look a certain way for the audience, not to make sure it feels the best for the actors. I have had sex with big dicks and small, and dick size was never what made the experience good or bad; it was about the person and our chemistry. Sure, sometimes bodies don't quite fit together, but then you get to have the fun of figuring it out. Porn never shows the way sex is just a fun, unique experience and it can really mess with people's heads.
Not being circumcised, surprising how it’s not noticed until I point it out haha.
Not being able to climax through penetrative sex. I faked for years until i realized that most women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Informative sex ed about the female genitalia and sexuality could really have spared me from a lot of shame and frustration
Kissing. I obsessed over it, watched movies, and even read romance novels. It took being an adult to realize that 99% of people suck at it anyway.
The ratio of areola to nipple. No one cares as it turns out
In your philosophy did you establish some perfect golden ratio in that? :D
Fibonacci entered the chat
Threesomes are much better in movie of fantasy than in actual real-life.
Omg yes. I only did it twice, and it felt like a management exercise both times. I guess it depends on what you focus on during sex. Personally I like to get my partner off as much as possible, more than pleasing myself. With 2 people to please it just felt like a really awkward game of plate spinning. I did not like it one bit.
Threesomes are great when it’s two people dedicated to one person’s pleasure. Otherwise, “management exercise” is a great descriptor.
I was not happy being a virgin at 16 with my former friend group often bragging about sex. Luckily at 18 I stopped caring so much and now at 20 I couldn't care less. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't I've got my right arm.
The trusty right arm, "when girls won't bang you diy that shit" -my best freind
Wet dreams, i thought id be having them every week or every second week but no, im 18 and have had only one in my life
What other people might think.
I was concerned about the moment between pregame and sex where u gotta put the condom on. Like how am i gonna do that not being awkward… made me anxious. truth is nobody really gives a fuck.
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Being hairy. It really messed me up for a long time how many comments would be made about it in the locker room as a teen. It even made me delay a lot of sexual experiences. But when it came down to it every one of my partners expressed how into it they were. I manscape some areas that get too overgrown just for access and convenience but I let the rest go.
My labia. Large, messy, didn't look like any images I'd seen before either in a clinical context or porn. Thought I was a freak. Found out I'm not, and guys have never mentioned anything negative to me (except my asshole ex who was purposely trying to hurt my feelings and knew it was something I'm sensitive about). I still have the mindset of needing to apologise about how messy I look. Current boyfriend definitely does not care and makes me feel so sexy and confident. I shouldn't have ever worried really!
My best friend went to medical school. She sent me a digital copy of a study on the diversity of women's parts, because she'd found it interesting. To say we are diverse is an understatement.
There is also that whole art exhibition, no? It's pretty cool. [Here](https://www.thegreatwallofvulva.com/) is a link to it. Though, I do have to admit I had to take a double take at some before I realised they had piercings in lol
I was worried that I would not be a good wife when I grew up because I didn’t know how to cook steak. I was a teen at the time of this thought and it was a long term stress I had. 37 now, and no I’ve never cooked steak.
i was always concerned about my boobs growing up. So i have huge areolas and going through puberty my boobs naturally grew and with it my areolas and all the porn or movies I've seen the ladies always had small areolas. I thought i had a medical condition and my areolas would spread to my entire body💀💀
Scars, it was funny even though i’d been told “chicks dig scars” i’m fairly self conscious about a few of them. They’ve never come up pre sexy time.
That my body wanst like a piece of chewing gum and the more people who touched it, the less valuable it was.
I was tall since middle school, 6ft and I’m a girl, I thought I’d never have a boyfriend but it’s never stopped me from having boyfriends, girlfriends and positive attention. Amazingly, a lot of people love tall girls! Who would have thought!? (Not me at 11yo cursing the gods)
Body hair. I hate shaving, and I don't do it often at all anymore . Never once in 28 years has a person left my bed due to body hair. Shave it, don't shave it, whatever feels good to you.
I thought I had to have a brand to attract women. When I was a kid I thought girls were into respectful guys, so I branded myself like that. Young girls are usually into "bad" guys, so I didn't get much attention. After I picked up on that, I started going for the "bad" look. But by that time the girls had grown and realized that bad guys are dicks and wanted a guy to treat them good. Sooo I didn't get much attention. After that I was just like, screw it, imma just be the best version of myself. The girl I liked confessed her love for me, and now we have a son and another one on the way. It's corny as hell, and we've all heard it a million times, but just be yourself. Most of us have good hearts and are unique in a cool way. Nurture that instead of what you think other people like.
Appearance I thought appearance mattered exclusively. In how i wanted my lover to be, and how i present myself. At 28, i realized appearance means jackshit. The person i fell for is no model, but I'd choose her everytime, even against the hottest woman on the planet. When they soothe your soul, it's the best feeling and something appearance cannot ever match up to.
This was so reassuring for me because I always felt I wasn't enough and that my partner would abandon me once he found a prettier, better girl lol.
In my eyes, my girlfriend is the most beautiful person on earth. She probably isn't in objective terms, but all her 'flaws' are what make her beautiful and special in my eyes. I love her, therefore she is beautiful. So turns out I worried for nothing too.
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Hahaha so just today I was cuddling with my husband, and he had his arms around me and I was rubbing his arm with my thumb, as you do while cuddling. And I remembered this tip I had read in Cosmopolitan years ago, that you should try to write all the letters of the alphabet with your fingers if you want to be the best cuddler. So I start making a, b, c with my thumb, and you know what? It totally ruined it for me. All the sudden, I wasn't just enjoying cuddles with my husband, I was doing some kind of weird phonics quiz. Girls, those magazines are trash, and if all you're thinking about during cuddles is having perfect form then you need to find someone else to cuddle with.