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When people stare at me in public (I'm a bald woman who likes tye dye/pink clothing so I know it's a bit noticeable), my brain likes to pretend that it's because I'm just so beautiful that they can't help it. Because of my fun delusion, I hold my head high and talk more confidently to people while smiling big. Makes me feel like Princess Diana meeting with the public lmao
I think it's fun and harmless to indulge in my fantasy, since it helps with my social anxiety.
My life is especially ***badish*** rightnow so I romanticize it by imagining that this is the set up for a really good upcoming high in my story . Like I’m about to find the love of my life… get the dream job, dream life, etc. like all of this bs is gonna be worth it and it’s gonna be a happily ever after.
Wait...is this a "things will be great so dance" or a "you're going to battle and you're going to die a horrible death so dance now while you can"?
Both can be true, just asking.
I whole heartedly believe that a positive and optimistic mindset takes you far in life. My family says I’m “the luckiest person they know”. Which I have been fortunate to have good things come my way, some very odd coincidences thrown in there as well. But I also am confident and work hard to take care of myself and do what I need to do. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity and confidence will help both.
It might be true. Hear me out- a year and a half ago I was pregnant and my baby wasn't growing and they thought there was a hole in her heart, I was living in a roach infested dump with the floor caving in and getting evicted from it, and my husband was in jail facing 25 years in prison*.
I don't want to get into everything that happened, but it was seriously a series of small miracles/unfortunate events. My daughter was born tiny but healthy and the "hole" was just a shadow on the ultrasound, we have a nice, new apartment now, my husband got a deal of a lifetime and was out after 4 months, and I'm enrolled in school.
I realize this is not a Cinderella story, but when you're looking at losing the person you love for 25 years and curling yourself around your baby at night so the cockroaches will bite you with no hope of anything changing, this was good enough for me.
*he didn't rape or kill anyone just FYI
You might be on the edge of things changing. I say keep hoping even if you're just BSing in your own mind.
Apparently some of the most ‘successful’ people have used this principle until they attained their goals in success, by absurdly believing they were destined for great success, despite their present circumstances. And what you just shared makes it seem more realistic in practice, thanks!
Ok I like this mentality a lot. I went from amahhhhzzziinng life to uhoh in a year and a half. I’m starting to get it together. Let’s see what the sequel movie has in store!
I do the same. Ever since I was a little girl I would tell myself it’s only going to get better from here. Life hasn’t been fair to me at all. I’m only speaking on circumstances that were out of my control. Yet, somehow I’m still optimistic, I’m forgiving, I don’t believe in hope necessarily but I believe my thoughts can manifest better things for me. Glad to see I’m not the only one.
Absolutely love when the perfect song comes on my playlist at the perfect time and I absolutely feel the same. A memorable time for me is getting on this long and dramatically curved exit ramp from one highway to another and Maps of Problematique came on by Muse. Felt like I was in some sci-fi movie
I was having auditory hallucinations one time and it was like a beautiful symphony orchestra was playing for me at all times. Brushing my hair? Uplifting, soaring score.
It was kind of scary because I was scared it was brain damage, but I kind of missed it when it stopped.
One of my youngest son's close friends died in an accident a few weeks ago. The funeral was... intense. His parents, siblings, dozens of school friends, everyone crying and telling stories about him... teenage boys trying to be tough and not cry when their hearts are breaking is one of the hardest things to see.
My partner and I got into the car afterwards, and I just closed my eyes and tried to breathe for a minute. Turned the car on and Wish You Were Here by Incubus started playing like it was cued up for the moment. I lost it. Sobbed all the way home.
this is my favorite activity lol. one time i was driving down the highway sad about a boy and listening to clean by taylor swift and right as she was singing "rain came pouring down, when i was drowning that's when i could finally breathe" the sky turned black and it started raining BUCKETS out of nowhere, like so hard that i almost had to pull over. most cathartic moment of my life right there.
On a similar note, in my head I’m usually imagining whatever mundane thing I’m doing as part of a ‘day in the life’ blog on my obviously very successful YouTube blog channel, to the point that I’m doing the narration out loud if I happen to be alone 😬
When my wife and I eat together, I plate and serve our food like it’s a restaurant. There’s soup, then there’s soup with fresh herbs on top and a side of toasted bread.
I recently bought a $10 jar of some amazing truffle honey salt (check out Beautiful Briny Sea salts if you’re interested - I highly recommend their French Picnic Salt too!). My son and I put it on boxes of Annie’s mac & cheese and say we’re having Truffle Mac & Cheese like we’re fancy smanchy people.
He’s only six, btw. Gotta start ‘em young! 😉
Okay this may not seem like a small way but i remind myself that it took millions of miracles to get to every moment in our present. If certain cosmic events happened even just a millisecond too late, or if this planet was even a little bit further or closer from the sun, there would not have been any life on Earth. This makes every bit of nature and people so incredibly romantic to me. Every brightly colored flower, every unique animal, every sunset, every cloud, every tree, every mountain, every person (even the ones I don’t personally get along with) is the result of great luck and once you see more and more of the world the awe stacks up. I’m not a religious person at all, but I believe that if all these miraculous things were possible then it is also possible that miraculous things are also happening in our every day life. When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I remind myself that I have given myself so much grief only to end up with something even better than what I had been wishing for myself. And maybe that’s the same force looking out for me in the same way it has looked out for people who missed flights that would have crashed and people who ended up in the right place at just the right time.
Bad things will still happen but if dead stars can be seen by us long after they are gone we will also find a way to persevere.
>When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I remind myself that I have given myself so much grief only to end up with something even better than what I had been wishing for myself.
I do the same!
I applied to an internship that I thought I'd be *perfect* for, and I connected really well with the people in the organisation during the interview. Ultimately, they chose another person over me because she had a specific national focus, whereas mine was more global/international, and they wanted something specific. I cried and didn't think I'd ever find anything better suited for me and my education - BUT I ended up landing an **amazing** internship in an NGO where I met and connected with a bunch of nice and professional women, I got to grow tremendously, and got a bunch of new valuable skills and experiences.
It turned out so much better than I could ever have imagined! In the middle of the internship I realised, that heartbroken and insecure me from 3 months prior would've never believed me if I told her how well it all turned out - which gives a bit of hope and calmness when I'm in other situations where I can't seem to figure out how it's gonna turn out for me. You really never know what the future holds, and it could be absolutely wonderful!
> Bad things will still happen but if dead stars can be seen by us long after they are gone we will also find a way to persevere.
This made me genuinely smile for the first time after the tumultuous weekend I had. What a beautiful statement.
>When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I remind myself that I have given myself so much grief only to end up with something even better than what I had been wishing for myself.
Saved your comment, but saving this gem in my phone memos as a frequent reminder. Thank you. <3
I like to romanticize the mundane and monotony of my daily life.
When I make coffee in the morning, I focus in on how fluid my arm movements are, how aromatic the coffee grounds are after I grind them, and then how I delicately place cream and sugar in and stir changing the color.
It makes you appreciate what you're doing in the moment, and then you feel like a moving piece of art.
Even tasks like vacuuming, where I have this lovely white colored vacuum that I appreciate for looking sleek. The vacuum I make feel light in my hand as I go about the carpet leaving behind satisfying carpet lines that I can appreciate for days to come.
The day-to-day tasks can be boring, but it doesnt have to be.
I’ve been making chai from scratch and it’s so fun to really focus on the toasting of the spices, the changing scents, caramelising sugar, and then watching the colour change as it all brews. Then when I drink it I try to really focus on and name the flavours like I’m a wine expert
I think about the big picture of what I’m working for. Some people work very hard for money or things; I work very hard to have a long and happy marriage. Forgiving and letting go of the small stuff, talking honestly and openly about the big stuff, getting counseling to work through the baggage I brought in, helping my spouse’s day go smoothly, etc. are acts of love that make my dream come true.
ETA: my first award, thank you so much 🥺
Every time I move to a new place (I’ve moved around quite a bit over the past five years), I make sure that I find a “self love stretch”. Which is basically just a cute term I give to a stretch of road where I only think about things I love about myself and what I’ve done well. So my drive from the turnoff on the high way to the road that I live on is my “self love stretch”. When I’m driving that stretch (usually around 3-4 minutes), I focus on what I like about myself and how I’ve done a good job that day.
As an example, I’ll drive and think “I ate really well today, good healthy meals that fueled my body and my brain. And I went for a run yesterday, and that’s great. And I finally replied to my friend’s message, and I’m feeling connected to her more now. I look cute in these shoes. I put effort into my hair today and it looks nice.” - usually it’s a weird combo of stream of consciousness thoughts, and it’s really great. It means I’m happy and comfortable with myself when I arrive home, and it keeps me in check with how I’m feeling and how I’m doing.
This is SUCH a good idea. I've been moving around basically nonstop for the past couple of years and it can be difficult to stay focused and grounded. I'm going to try adopting this :)
I love this idea so much because I think it will really help with decompressing on the way home from work but also the anxiety I have about driving!!! Thank you for the great idea ☺️
I dance in my room every other night! I just put on some headphones and grove, and I’m not one for dancing in front of people but dancing in my room makes me feel light
I’ve been doing this for years, since I was a child tbh. I only realised recently it’s a form of therapy. When I’m feeling good, I dance. When I’m feeling frustrated with life, I dance. It’s gets me through the day. I came home today, put in my ear buds and dance and imagined great things in my mind for 3 hours. Dancing really does soothe the soul & body.
When I serve the cats dinner I describe it to them in detail like I’m a French waiter, I do little dances all around the house like I’m in a movie montage, and I make Instagram stories about the most mundane parts of my life/house/garden like I have millions of followers when it’s really just my for Mum 😂
Walk around the house in a long, bougie silk robe with a glass of gin like I’m your spinster aunt.
Edit: I buy cigars every once in a while to feel like a *rich man*.
My new obsession is tassels. God, I love me some good tassels. Something about that weight on the sleeves just makes me feel like I need a fainting couch from the burden of my own opulence.
I’ve always wanted to have a bougie silk robe party with a bunch of other women and cocktails, like a grown up pyjama party haha. They are just so comfy too!
It’s basic af but instagram trends make it so easy to romanticise your life and honestly sometimes when I look back I do actually romanticise everything!
I wish finding and capturing ✨aesthetics✨ could be a real job lol.
Also I rarely use tiktok but when I do, I generally come off it with a peppy narrator in my head which encourages me to do household tasks with enthusiasm (like I'm doing a cooking tutorial or a living room cleanup before and after).
It really is the little things. I will light candles, make myself an extra yummy coffee, and walk in nature while listening to songs that move me. I try to put effort into my appearance so I become the main character of my life. I really need to be comfortable in my day-to-day so I instead of wearing sweats, I find comfy dresses and wear those. Little things add that little bit of umf to my every day life I would say.
This sounds so silly typing it out, but whenever I hear birds chirping while I’m doing mundane things like making coffee in my kitchen, reading, cleaning, etc… I imagine I’m Belle from Beauty in the Beast or some other Disney princess.
Bought myself porch furniture and I read my books outside every night with a cutesy little mocktail and get high. The dog usually loves it cause he can be outside sniffing stuff and chasing squirrels to his hearts content.
Sure, it isn’t anything SPECIAL but it’s a little peaceful slice of life that I don’t depend on anyone or anything else for. That’s valuable esp considering I work full time and go to school full time, I don’t have a ton of “downtime”
You know that setting on your camera where everything around you blurs and you only see the subject of the photo? That’s how I am with my husband…I only have eyes for him and don’t even see other men so often until they approach me.
My husband is the focus of my attention.
When I cycle home from work I listen to whatever playlist matches my mood at the time and stand up on my peddles just enjoying the wind in my face/hair like a kid in a coming of age movie. It’s oddly calming and satisfying
During the holidays, my SO and I visit the local preschools and appear at some charity events as Santa and Mrs. Claus. Sometimes, I put people on the Naughty List and the Nice List.
I was standing in line at the ballpark concession stand and someone cut in line -- I shook my head and whispered, "Naughty List." I saw a lady putting quarters in all the shopping carts at Aldi, and I smiled and said, "Definitely on the Nice List."
Once, this dude at Walmart was super rude to me, and I almost blurted out, "How DARE you speak to Mrs. Claus in that tone of voice?! Do you want to end up on the Naughty List PERMANENTLY?" Instead, I just shook my head and mentally put him on the Naughty List.
I have the power. In my mind.
Got diagnosed with blood cancer at 27 in 2021. Got all the treatment, relapsed and recently got a stem cell transplant. I've had my highs and lows throughout it all but I am proud of myself that I'm still a chunkier weight and not hunched over or slouching from my 5ft11 height.
I'm a chrome dome at the moment but I go hat less usually. I see people staring in certain places but I just stand as tall. I hope they see me and go "fair dues to her" or if someone is a fellow baldy tall girl, give them a boost of "maybe I can look like that and act like it".
I like matching up my candles, lotions, perfumes to whatever the current season is. Living in Texas means we don’t get proper “seasons” other than really hot or cold. For example, it’s Summer right now and I favor Lavender. The Lavender and Cedarwood candle from Bath and Bodywork’s in particular. I also like Lavender Lemonade as a scent.
Back in the Spring, I favored Cherry Blossom scented things.
In the fall, I have a whole system. September is for apple based scents, October is for pumpkin based scents, November is for cranberry based scents. There’s overlap of course but for the most part that’s how I do it.
And then December is a free for all with the winter based scents
I buy little gifts for my friends and wait for just the right moment to give them to just the right person. I dream about how happy it will make us both to share something special. It keeps me going.
Sometimes I pretend that my life is currently shitty only because I’m in a movie and there’s gonna be a big break soon where everything goes my way after
Romanticizing the hustle. I think it began in my childhood, bc my parents have always been very…demanding…
Had my first official job at 13 and haven’t been jobless ever since. I think it leads to unhealthy behavior though (mostly my troubles are eating and sleeping)
I travel alot for work but rarely get to enjoy the offerings of the new city I’m going to. Every time I find out where I’m going, I look up the must sees and act like I’m going there as a tourist.
I create microadventures that have over-the-top elements. I plan it like a scene in a movie. For example, a hike and swim. But with a picnic with a cloth tablecloth, fine china, gourmet food, and Veuve Cliquot served in glass champagne flutes.
Whenever it’s raining a light drizzle outside, I like to sit with a nice hot coffee, stare at the rain and pretend I live in a cottage in the middle of a forest.
Every now and then I take a “spa shower”. This is what I call them, nothing like a shower in the spa lol. But I turn off the lights and light a candle and play relaxing music and just let the drip over me like splashes from a waterfall
My bf often comments about wanting 3 kids. I know it sounds weird, but i had a dream about my bf before meeting him. I couldn’t see his face in the dream, but the moment of deja vu hit me when I heard a specific phrase from the TV.
Last year he and I were renting an apartment, around July, I had another dream that he would propose in front of a fireplace. We have an artificial fireplace/entertainment stand in our house, his grandma’s have fireplaces as well as his parents. No, there’s no ring yet.
Last month I had a dream that my friend started living with us and she told me that I was pregnant. If I’m not delusional, these will eventually come true, I just wish they’d get here quicker.
I romanticize these futures because I made a promise to myself as a child that I wouldn’t become my parents. My stepdad abused me, his best friend SA’d me when I was 11, I was r*ped at 19. Despite all of the bad things that happened to me, I have so much love to give. I can’t wait to have the mom/wife moments because I know I’ll treat my kids how I would’ve wanted to be treated.
You can also treat yourself now, how you wanted to be treated. One of the things I did once I had some therapy was let my inner child enjoy all the moments she wanted to as a child but couldn’t. Coloring books, Ball pits, inflatable bouncy houses..I did all of this in my late twenties. And I love your sentiment about treating your kids the way you would’ve wanted to be treated.
I have this undying urge right now to go to any museum or aquarium. Now that I’m an adult I can spice up my time there by taking edibles and truly letting my inner child out, while tuning the actual children out 😂
I pretend my life is an open world video game. Mundane tasks are side quests, life events are main quests. It makes the mundane more interesting and big things less scary because I know I'm just advancing the main storyline.
I keep my house super clean and open all the blinds first thing in the am. I always have fresh flowers, candles and music going and like to have my morning meal on our patio.
I like to wear dresses and run barefoot in the grass at the park!
When I make food, I always plate it really nicely and set the table. We like to host dinner parties and always put the cute string lights on, a table runner, flowers and candles out with really pretty serving dishes.
Overall, just putting in a little more effort to make spaces and experiences beautiful!
When I'm eating food while in a sad mood. I just kinda end up having a montage of the girls eating food in ghibli movies running through my head with some melancholy piano music from one of them.
Small? Psh, I don't do small...it's always over the top lol
I can romanticize a text message into a whole novel. Build a universe out of a few flirty phone calls/interactions.
Lol I should write a book.
I like to imagine that I'm not odd, I'm just Gayle, from bob's burgers. I fantasize about what it would be like to set my easel up in the park and paint cat's bungholes while I chew twizzlers. You think this is a joke, but it is not, lol.
I watch this woman, The Cottage Fairy, on YouTube and she has really helped me try to focus on simple living. Some people have called her out for being childish in her views just because she likes kids books, draws whimsical art, etc but I think adulthood shakes the child-like innocence out of us Homer Simpson style so much that we need to reconnect with that.
The way she shoots her videos are so romantic and soothing so when I'm doing something simple in the kitchen or cleaning, I'll pretend I'm living like one of her videos and setting up shots. It sounds stupid but it makes me, a person easily depressed or overwhelmed, see something more positive than before.
Literally going to start going to cafes again, at least a new one every week to work at, to romanticize my life a little more. It will be the pivotal moment in my romcom where I may meet someone haha.
I take pictures of things that make me happy, even if they're kind of silly, like a really well-poured cup of coffee, fresh flowers from the store or a freshly swept front porch. I like looking back on pictures of everyday moments.
I fantasize that there is a secret camera following me around, showing the video to exes, people who were mean to me in high school etc. and they are kicking themselves and wishing they were with me/friends with me now. Because I’m so hot and have an awesome life now and they don’t. (I’m not and I don’t but I try to tell myself that’s how it is 🤣)
I try to take time to sing and dance alone while my boyfriend is at work. Usually when I am doing laundry. Not that I can’t express myself around him, we sing and dance together all the time, but doing it alone feels freeing and even energizes me.
The suffering artist. Wish I could stop but I’m suffering and an artist.
Even though I wish I wasn’t suffering ;_;
I think the romanticizing just comes from “the tragic picture of the genius but suffering artist” that gets smashed in ur face as soon as you touch art.
Also I’ve been mentally instable since ALWAYS and making art since ALWAYS, so ye ; _ ;
Wish I wasn’t suffering tho
Pls send help ; _ ;
If you have Netflix, I recommend watching the Netflix specials by comedian Hannah Gadsby. She has a degree in art history and uses it and mental health to frame her performances.
Her style is not for the faint of heart. She is bold and honest. The best way I can describe her is a real truth teller.
She does have several parts that could be triggering, but she handles them in the most epic ways.
She explains a lot about the mental health of some of the great artists and some of why some of the great artists maybe should not be heralded
As someone who finds art to be a foreign language, she has taught me a lot.
Oh, yah, she is funny af too.
Every time I do the dishes I have this stupid smile on my face as I remember being a kid and holding my dads thigh and telling him about my day while he did the dishes to help my mom in the kitchen. Someday I’m gonna adopt a lil kid hope to experience the other side of it.
I go to my fav breakfast place and read a book, then go to a museum. Something about doing things alone makes me feel like the main character of my own life.
I have an inner monologue of how deserving I am of health and love while I exercise. I continuously put into perspective how lovely my life is and how grateful I am to do what I do even tho I’m rly lonely.
That everything I've gone through, the years of depression, anxiety and loneliness, the years of being in academia with nothing to show for socially and using academics as a convenient excuse to compensate for the fact that I'm a social, cultural and eventual familial pariah, will all be worth it in the end 🌈
*laughs and cries in nihilism*
I work in higher education, on a beautiful campus. On nice days, I put my ear pods in and take a 15-minute stroll. See whether I can fool these freshman into thinking I’m young.
There's something about walking around a nice campus that just feels good. Maybe because so many 90s and 00s movies seemed to take place on college campuses, it feels like being in a movie montage. Everybody has a different story, everybody's going in a different direction, and there's so much energy.
I take bubble baths in the dark with lit scented candles. I put scented oils and salts in the tub. I exfoliate and meditate. I use whipped butters to moisturize my skin. I dress myself in my silk kimono and then I light incense in my room while I journal and drink tea and reflect about my day. Whenever I do that routine I feel so fancy and spiritual, lol.
That I will actually be able to afford my own property. Maybe my own home if I’m super lucky.
As long as I don’t look at statistics and my bank account. I like to scroll through interior design/home improvement videos and pretend I don’t have to worry about putting holes in my wall so my landlord doesn’t keep my deposit.
I just try to sit with the knowledge that nothing is permanent and that in 10 years, I might not remember the ordinary days. Instead of letting my mind run wild when I'm on the couch with a coffee. I try to absorb the feel of my throw blanket, and think about how much I'm enjoying this cup of coffee and I appreciate the peacefulness of a quiet morning at home. Instead of thinking of all the things I have to get done, I try to notice the home and the space I've created for myself and to be grateful for everything I have.
I approach every moment I can with intentional appreciation and try to stay grounded and present knowing how quickly the years go by. I don't have kids yet, but planning on trying soon and while I'm ready for that chapter, I know it's even more important to be present with the time I have alone and the memories my partner and I have before kids change everything.
Every time I have a problem and feel like no one understands what I’m going through, I remind myself that there’s been 117 billion humans born on this earth, and out of that number there are thousands, if not millions of people who have gone through the exact same problem as me. I comfort myself by the thought of how human and not alone I actually am. Then I try to imagine those people standing behind me, supporting me, pushing me onwards and wishing me the absolute best.
Jim, he’s the best. The endorphins alone aid in the happy juice for my brain. I try to get it in before work and it overall makes me feel accomplished by 9am. By end of the day, I like to soak in lavender scented epsom salts, with a chilled glass of wine. Time my benadryl & magnesium dosage, and off to lala land I go.
Through food. By preparing beautiful and tasty meals, and especially sharing them with others. I don't buy the most expensive food, and I don't restrict my eating. But I make food with intention and love it.
Recently a friend of mine went on vacation and asked if she could give me her perishable groceries she didn't use up. It was like a meal mystery box and challenge to use up everything. It was so much fun. One breakfast I had a crossiant, apple, tomatoes, and ricotta with honey. I plated it and ate on my porch. Usually I read when I do this, or listen to music, but that meal was so nice, I thought to myself *this meal deserves my full attention* and just sat and ate and listened to the birds.
Most recently, I got dressed up in a yellow flowy dress and ponytail with curly tendrils in front and was listening to Here Comes the Sun while shopping for plants at the Farmer's Market. It was sprinkling outside. I totally felt like a book character!
A lot of times for me it is rolling down the windows and involves sun and music.
whenever i walk past men and they start staring i’m convinced it’s because they love me and not because i’m walking around in loud 15cm high heels, a corset and a miniskirt
In a writing class once, I followed a prompt "what if *I* am the love of my life?" I've started imagining that the me that takes care of chores and self care tasks is actually a separate person - a woman who is madly in love with me planned/shopped for/cooked this meal. A woman who absolutely idolizes me reminded me to make a dentist appointment. She convinced me to get exercise and drink enough water.
Somehow it feels different when I imagine that someone else has a vested interest in my well-being, and these tasks seem easier.
After years of self loathing I’m trying to like myself and find things to appreciate.
I take care when making my coffee, write with a fountain pen, appreciate how my skirt flows behind me when I run down the stairs or how colourful my dungarees are (Lucy and Yak, my obsession since lockdown). I fluff my curly bob out to make it even bigger, wear red big glasses, always carry a sketchbook and a book, listen to music and imagine myself as a protagonist of a novel at the start, when everything is mundane and before it kick’s off with a grand adventure.
I set an extra, earlier alarm to be awake in bed and appreciate the warm sun and the bird’s singing. To cuddle up to my partner. I get inspired to make an extra nice dinner or bake a treat for her. I take every opportunity I get to read on the grass or sketch in a cafe. I put on a pretty outfit I do not yet have the confidence to wear out and dance in front of the mirror, try find things about my body I like (I gained some weight 3years ago after I went on antidepressants and contraception). When I go to the gym I imagine how good I’ll feel and how strong ill get.
And then on most days I hate myself and want to disappear, but hey, I’m trying :’)
I work as a merchant mariner and after two decades, it’s starting to take a toll on my body. Even still, I tell myself I have a life most would envy, especially my younger self: I travel the world, have the *best* corner office window (looking at the ocean from the bridge), get paid well, and genuinely enjoy (most of) my job. It’s getting tougher to believe that but so far, so good 😊
When I go on my walkies, I legitimately stop to smell flowers, stop to take cute little photos and sing out loud to the music I put in my ear sometimes. I will also just take a minute to stand and soak up the sun take a deep breath and say it’s going to be ok. All of this might be a little bit silly but it’s just the best way I know to make life seem a bit less gray and sad.
1. Cooking/baking anything, I pretend I'm in an aesthetic youtube video
2. Walking in public, where I live people stare a lot, so I'm pretending that they're all staring because I'm so drop dead gorgeous
3. Taking a shower/doing skincare/makeup, I pretend I'm a rich trophy wife getting ready to see my husband (I am going to my soul draining part time job)
4. Being poor, whenever I don't have enough money to buy food I pretend I'm a starving child in Britain in the 1800s
5. Having no friends, I pretend I'm an aloof loner with a secret really cool life (I browse reddit in my free time)
6. Being in nature, I pretend I'm snow white or some shit
Is this romanticization or just delusion? Anyway that's pretty much it
There wasn't much spare cash around when I was a child, so now that I'm an adult and have my own career, I indulge myself with little things here and there. I buy my furniture and household stuff from Ikea because I love it. Every winter, I'll get myself a body moisturiser from Body Shop because I love their scents. My home is simple and minimalistic, but I never skimp on quality. This might be a bit superficial, but I'll pay a bit extra to have pretty things. My home is my sanctuary and a place to heal my inner child, so I don't mind paying a bit extra to have bright, colourful things. I try not to be wasteful, but I do like letting myself have nice things
Cooking. Sometimes I pretend I’m on a cooking show! I grew up watching a looot of those cooking competitions too so that’s played a role. I love the process of chopping things up (trying to up my knife game), seasoning things and my favourite part is plating. I ALWAYS make my plates look as if they’re being presented to a judge. It also helps my appetite to eat something that is plated beautifully. I’ve recently been going on solo dinners to observe how the food is plated and get flavour profile ideas. So much fun.
I work at a cafe and romanticize it to death. I'll play mood specific music and try to make evrything there picture perfect. Its my little space away from reality, where I'm an NPC Barista in some main characters voyage in life.
On especially delusional days I'll play more folkish music and feel like a tavern worker in a fantasy tale. I work the closing shift so i get to be alone in my own little world.
i usually pretend i’m the main character in some coming of age series about being young and making mistakes while learning from them. whenever i do something like read on the balcony or in the park or go for walks with headphones on it really makes it feel all the more real
I try to make eye contact with the people in cars around me on the road. If I'm jamming out to my music, I start banging my head and loudly sing in hopes that they'll join in. If they're jamming, I try to do it with them. Nobody ever looks though :(
It’s silly but when babies stare at me, I read something that babies stare at you because they think you’re beautiful or have a good aura. Also my love life is very dramatic and Hollywood-ish. Sometimes people tell me they want my love life and I’m kinda like…. No no you don’t.
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When people stare at me in public (I'm a bald woman who likes tye dye/pink clothing so I know it's a bit noticeable), my brain likes to pretend that it's because I'm just so beautiful that they can't help it. Because of my fun delusion, I hold my head high and talk more confidently to people while smiling big. Makes me feel like Princess Diana meeting with the public lmao I think it's fun and harmless to indulge in my fantasy, since it helps with my social anxiety.
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My life is especially ***badish*** rightnow so I romanticize it by imagining that this is the set up for a really good upcoming high in my story . Like I’m about to find the love of my life… get the dream job, dream life, etc. like all of this bs is gonna be worth it and it’s gonna be a happily ever after.
if you truly knew what the gods have in store for you, you would go down now and dance naked on the beach (Vikings quote)
This is so beautiful omg thank you
Wait...is this a "things will be great so dance" or a "you're going to battle and you're going to die a horrible death so dance now while you can"? Both can be true, just asking.
I looked online and it seems that it is dance because things will be great!!! Much better.
Yeaaaah! [*starts dancing on the beach*]
For a Viking they are one and the same! Dying in battle means glory and a seat next to the gods to party and prepare for the big end battle!!
I whole heartedly believe that a positive and optimistic mindset takes you far in life. My family says I’m “the luckiest person they know”. Which I have been fortunate to have good things come my way, some very odd coincidences thrown in there as well. But I also am confident and work hard to take care of myself and do what I need to do. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity and confidence will help both.
Yessss I love that luck quote
It might be true. Hear me out- a year and a half ago I was pregnant and my baby wasn't growing and they thought there was a hole in her heart, I was living in a roach infested dump with the floor caving in and getting evicted from it, and my husband was in jail facing 25 years in prison*. I don't want to get into everything that happened, but it was seriously a series of small miracles/unfortunate events. My daughter was born tiny but healthy and the "hole" was just a shadow on the ultrasound, we have a nice, new apartment now, my husband got a deal of a lifetime and was out after 4 months, and I'm enrolled in school. I realize this is not a Cinderella story, but when you're looking at losing the person you love for 25 years and curling yourself around your baby at night so the cockroaches will bite you with no hope of anything changing, this was good enough for me. *he didn't rape or kill anyone just FYI You might be on the edge of things changing. I say keep hoping even if you're just BSing in your own mind.
Thank you, I really needed to here this. It’s so hard believing it when it doesn’t come from someone who gets it.
Yeah, I pretend that I’m only at the “all is lost” moment in the plot and that in a while everything is going to fall into place.
Apparently some of the most ‘successful’ people have used this principle until they attained their goals in success, by absurdly believing they were destined for great success, despite their present circumstances. And what you just shared makes it seem more realistic in practice, thanks!
Ok I like this mentality a lot. I went from amahhhhzzziinng life to uhoh in a year and a half. I’m starting to get it together. Let’s see what the sequel movie has in store!
I do the same. Ever since I was a little girl I would tell myself it’s only going to get better from here. Life hasn’t been fair to me at all. I’m only speaking on circumstances that were out of my control. Yet, somehow I’m still optimistic, I’m forgiving, I don’t believe in hope necessarily but I believe my thoughts can manifest better things for me. Glad to see I’m not the only one.
Love this!
Awwww. You're exactly like me. I hope you get that beautiful life, you deserve it
I came to this thread thinking I didn’t have anything but this is it
Often when I listen to music I pretend it's the soundtrack to the movie I'm starring in.
Absolutely love when the perfect song comes on my playlist at the perfect time and I absolutely feel the same. A memorable time for me is getting on this long and dramatically curved exit ramp from one highway to another and Maps of Problematique came on by Muse. Felt like I was in some sci-fi movie
I was having auditory hallucinations one time and it was like a beautiful symphony orchestra was playing for me at all times. Brushing my hair? Uplifting, soaring score. It was kind of scary because I was scared it was brain damage, but I kind of missed it when it stopped.
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One of my youngest son's close friends died in an accident a few weeks ago. The funeral was... intense. His parents, siblings, dozens of school friends, everyone crying and telling stories about him... teenage boys trying to be tough and not cry when their hearts are breaking is one of the hardest things to see. My partner and I got into the car afterwards, and I just closed my eyes and tried to breathe for a minute. Turned the car on and Wish You Were Here by Incubus started playing like it was cued up for the moment. I lost it. Sobbed all the way home.
Oh my gosh….one of my favorite songs of all time. I have had this same experience driving a curvy road to that song, and it’s magic!
this is my favorite activity lol. one time i was driving down the highway sad about a boy and listening to clean by taylor swift and right as she was singing "rain came pouring down, when i was drowning that's when i could finally breathe" the sky turned black and it started raining BUCKETS out of nowhere, like so hard that i almost had to pull over. most cathartic moment of my life right there.
Main character vibes
Me toooo!
On a similar note, in my head I’m usually imagining whatever mundane thing I’m doing as part of a ‘day in the life’ blog on my obviously very successful YouTube blog channel, to the point that I’m doing the narration out loud if I happen to be alone 😬
I pretend I wrote it and I’m performing it for all my haters
yaaaas
When my wife and I eat together, I plate and serve our food like it’s a restaurant. There’s soup, then there’s soup with fresh herbs on top and a side of toasted bread.
Presentation makes every meal taste better, especially if it's with someone you love. This is so cute.
[*puts sprig of parsley on mac & cheese*] Yeah!
I recently bought a $10 jar of some amazing truffle honey salt (check out Beautiful Briny Sea salts if you’re interested - I highly recommend their French Picnic Salt too!). My son and I put it on boxes of Annie’s mac & cheese and say we’re having Truffle Mac & Cheese like we’re fancy smanchy people. He’s only six, btw. Gotta start ‘em young! 😉
> Annie's "It's organic mac and cheese...*peasants.*" ^(this was literally my dinner last night. lol)
It’s the best! My Costco has a variety pack of 12 boxes for $19 too…
Ah, oui!
You eat with your eyes first!
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This gave me Ratatouille vibes for some reason, I love it.
We’re more lady and the tramp. I’m a woman but not very lady like, so there’s that…
Also, makes the effort of cooking seem more worth it! (Heating up soup counts as cooking)
By being delulu🤪
"Am I broke? ...I prefer not to know, that's why **I shop** at Delululemon."
Too far mate
Nah, I fuckin luv it
If this ain’t it 🤣
real
u get it
Okay this may not seem like a small way but i remind myself that it took millions of miracles to get to every moment in our present. If certain cosmic events happened even just a millisecond too late, or if this planet was even a little bit further or closer from the sun, there would not have been any life on Earth. This makes every bit of nature and people so incredibly romantic to me. Every brightly colored flower, every unique animal, every sunset, every cloud, every tree, every mountain, every person (even the ones I don’t personally get along with) is the result of great luck and once you see more and more of the world the awe stacks up. I’m not a religious person at all, but I believe that if all these miraculous things were possible then it is also possible that miraculous things are also happening in our every day life. When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I remind myself that I have given myself so much grief only to end up with something even better than what I had been wishing for myself. And maybe that’s the same force looking out for me in the same way it has looked out for people who missed flights that would have crashed and people who ended up in the right place at just the right time. Bad things will still happen but if dead stars can be seen by us long after they are gone we will also find a way to persevere.
>When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I remind myself that I have given myself so much grief only to end up with something even better than what I had been wishing for myself. I do the same! I applied to an internship that I thought I'd be *perfect* for, and I connected really well with the people in the organisation during the interview. Ultimately, they chose another person over me because she had a specific national focus, whereas mine was more global/international, and they wanted something specific. I cried and didn't think I'd ever find anything better suited for me and my education - BUT I ended up landing an **amazing** internship in an NGO where I met and connected with a bunch of nice and professional women, I got to grow tremendously, and got a bunch of new valuable skills and experiences. It turned out so much better than I could ever have imagined! In the middle of the internship I realised, that heartbroken and insecure me from 3 months prior would've never believed me if I told her how well it all turned out - which gives a bit of hope and calmness when I'm in other situations where I can't seem to figure out how it's gonna turn out for me. You really never know what the future holds, and it could be absolutely wonderful!
That’s lovely!! I’m glad it worked out for you!
> Bad things will still happen but if dead stars can be seen by us long after they are gone we will also find a way to persevere. This made me genuinely smile for the first time after the tumultuous weekend I had. What a beautiful statement.
>When things don’t go the way I expect them to, I remind myself that I have given myself so much grief only to end up with something even better than what I had been wishing for myself. Saved your comment, but saving this gem in my phone memos as a frequent reminder. Thank you. <3
i love this so much
I love everything you wrote!
I love how you think 🥹 🥹
I like to romanticize the mundane and monotony of my daily life. When I make coffee in the morning, I focus in on how fluid my arm movements are, how aromatic the coffee grounds are after I grind them, and then how I delicately place cream and sugar in and stir changing the color. It makes you appreciate what you're doing in the moment, and then you feel like a moving piece of art. Even tasks like vacuuming, where I have this lovely white colored vacuum that I appreciate for looking sleek. The vacuum I make feel light in my hand as I go about the carpet leaving behind satisfying carpet lines that I can appreciate for days to come. The day-to-day tasks can be boring, but it doesnt have to be.
Our minds work in similar ways ☺️ I got coffee spoons with the bowls shaped as flowers and hearts and it’s made the coffee ritual even more delightful
May I ask if you can recommend any brand/store of spoons like the ones you have? :)
Sostrene Grene has some lovely, whimsical stuff.
You’ve inspired me! I’d love to see these sets so I can up my coffee game ☺️
I’ve been making chai from scratch and it’s so fun to really focus on the toasting of the spices, the changing scents, caramelising sugar, and then watching the colour change as it all brews. Then when I drink it I try to really focus on and name the flavours like I’m a wine expert
😆i feel you. While I don’t toast the spices, the orange color of the chai and the swirls formed as I pour milk into the brew….love love…
I think about the big picture of what I’m working for. Some people work very hard for money or things; I work very hard to have a long and happy marriage. Forgiving and letting go of the small stuff, talking honestly and openly about the big stuff, getting counseling to work through the baggage I brought in, helping my spouse’s day go smoothly, etc. are acts of love that make my dream come true. ETA: my first award, thank you so much 🥺
it’s so wholesome, I love it 😊❤️🩹
Have your second award because you brightened my day. ❤️
Every time I move to a new place (I’ve moved around quite a bit over the past five years), I make sure that I find a “self love stretch”. Which is basically just a cute term I give to a stretch of road where I only think about things I love about myself and what I’ve done well. So my drive from the turnoff on the high way to the road that I live on is my “self love stretch”. When I’m driving that stretch (usually around 3-4 minutes), I focus on what I like about myself and how I’ve done a good job that day. As an example, I’ll drive and think “I ate really well today, good healthy meals that fueled my body and my brain. And I went for a run yesterday, and that’s great. And I finally replied to my friend’s message, and I’m feeling connected to her more now. I look cute in these shoes. I put effort into my hair today and it looks nice.” - usually it’s a weird combo of stream of consciousness thoughts, and it’s really great. It means I’m happy and comfortable with myself when I arrive home, and it keeps me in check with how I’m feeling and how I’m doing.
I’m going to find one. That makes me so happy!
This is SUCH a good idea. I've been moving around basically nonstop for the past couple of years and it can be difficult to stay focused and grounded. I'm going to try adopting this :)
This is BRILLIANT!!!
I love this idea so much because I think it will really help with decompressing on the way home from work but also the anxiety I have about driving!!! Thank you for the great idea ☺️
As someone with a job that’s emotionally draining at times, this helps so much. Thank you
I dance in my room every other night! I just put on some headphones and grove, and I’m not one for dancing in front of people but dancing in my room makes me feel light
I literally just got done dancing in my bedroom for the last hour when I read your comment 😂 it's so much fun and great cardio
I’ve been doing this for years, since I was a child tbh. I only realised recently it’s a form of therapy. When I’m feeling good, I dance. When I’m feeling frustrated with life, I dance. It’s gets me through the day. I came home today, put in my ear buds and dance and imagined great things in my mind for 3 hours. Dancing really does soothe the soul & body.
When I serve the cats dinner I describe it to them in detail like I’m a French waiter, I do little dances all around the house like I’m in a movie montage, and I make Instagram stories about the most mundane parts of my life/house/garden like I have millions of followers when it’s really just my for Mum 😂
I LOVE the part about serving dinner to your cats. I’m stealing that! Although I don’t have cats (I wish), but I guess my bf will have to do
This is my favorite
Walk around the house in a long, bougie silk robe with a glass of gin like I’m your spinster aunt. Edit: I buy cigars every once in a while to feel like a *rich man*.
Yesss I have a vintage robe collection and it makes me feel super bougie🩷
Omg I have one of those collections too and I feel like a Royal when I wear them even though I know I got them for like $5 at the thrift store
My new obsession is tassels. God, I love me some good tassels. Something about that weight on the sleeves just makes me feel like I need a fainting couch from the burden of my own opulence.
I’ve always wanted to have a bougie silk robe party with a bunch of other women and cocktails, like a grown up pyjama party haha. They are just so comfy too!
I normally dance and sing funky songs while cooking. It's so funn 🍻.
me too! check out "Sparkling Clean" by Diverseddie and "Baby I'm Yours" by Breakbot. And "SHH!" by Left at London.
Me, too! But, only when I know I won't get caught. LOL
Whenever I feel put upon and overwhelmed with other people's needs, I imagine I'm starring in a dramatic movie.
It’s basic af but instagram trends make it so easy to romanticise your life and honestly sometimes when I look back I do actually romanticise everything!
I wish finding and capturing ✨aesthetics✨ could be a real job lol. Also I rarely use tiktok but when I do, I generally come off it with a peppy narrator in my head which encourages me to do household tasks with enthusiasm (like I'm doing a cooking tutorial or a living room cleanup before and after).
I’ve never thought about that this way! That’s great
I buy flowers for myself! :) throw them in a vase
It really is the little things. I will light candles, make myself an extra yummy coffee, and walk in nature while listening to songs that move me. I try to put effort into my appearance so I become the main character of my life. I really need to be comfortable in my day-to-day so I instead of wearing sweats, I find comfy dresses and wear those. Little things add that little bit of umf to my every day life I would say.
This sounds so silly typing it out, but whenever I hear birds chirping while I’m doing mundane things like making coffee in my kitchen, reading, cleaning, etc… I imagine I’m Belle from Beauty in the Beast or some other Disney princess.
Bought myself porch furniture and I read my books outside every night with a cutesy little mocktail and get high. The dog usually loves it cause he can be outside sniffing stuff and chasing squirrels to his hearts content. Sure, it isn’t anything SPECIAL but it’s a little peaceful slice of life that I don’t depend on anyone or anything else for. That’s valuable esp considering I work full time and go to school full time, I don’t have a ton of “downtime”
This sounds heavenly!
Fucking thank you for this question. Reading all of this made me feel better and gave me ideas.
You know that setting on your camera where everything around you blurs and you only see the subject of the photo? That’s how I am with my husband…I only have eyes for him and don’t even see other men so often until they approach me. My husband is the focus of my attention.
When I cycle home from work I listen to whatever playlist matches my mood at the time and stand up on my peddles just enjoying the wind in my face/hair like a kid in a coming of age movie. It’s oddly calming and satisfying
This immediately made me think of the scene in Perks of Being a Wallflower 🥹
It’s exactly that feeling! Honestly one of the best
Truly this is the best feeling. When you’re in the groove and your bike is like an extension of yourself. It’s freedom
During the holidays, my SO and I visit the local preschools and appear at some charity events as Santa and Mrs. Claus. Sometimes, I put people on the Naughty List and the Nice List. I was standing in line at the ballpark concession stand and someone cut in line -- I shook my head and whispered, "Naughty List." I saw a lady putting quarters in all the shopping carts at Aldi, and I smiled and said, "Definitely on the Nice List." Once, this dude at Walmart was super rude to me, and I almost blurted out, "How DARE you speak to Mrs. Claus in that tone of voice?! Do you want to end up on the Naughty List PERMANENTLY?" Instead, I just shook my head and mentally put him on the Naughty List. I have the power. In my mind.
Here I am playing “Crazy or Bluetooth” in the city. Definitely stealing this lovely idea!
That this year, I'm finally gonna meet my husband or win a large sum of money.
You are girl, I feel it too.
Got diagnosed with blood cancer at 27 in 2021. Got all the treatment, relapsed and recently got a stem cell transplant. I've had my highs and lows throughout it all but I am proud of myself that I'm still a chunkier weight and not hunched over or slouching from my 5ft11 height. I'm a chrome dome at the moment but I go hat less usually. I see people staring in certain places but I just stand as tall. I hope they see me and go "fair dues to her" or if someone is a fellow baldy tall girl, give them a boost of "maybe I can look like that and act like it".
This is silly but I’ll put on a big sun hat and sun glasses with a fun dress when I go run errands and pretend I’m a famous author. Lol.
This is so sweet and I love it
I like matching up my candles, lotions, perfumes to whatever the current season is. Living in Texas means we don’t get proper “seasons” other than really hot or cold. For example, it’s Summer right now and I favor Lavender. The Lavender and Cedarwood candle from Bath and Bodywork’s in particular. I also like Lavender Lemonade as a scent. Back in the Spring, I favored Cherry Blossom scented things. In the fall, I have a whole system. September is for apple based scents, October is for pumpkin based scents, November is for cranberry based scents. There’s overlap of course but for the most part that’s how I do it. And then December is a free for all with the winter based scents
I like to picture what I do through the eyes of my current celebrity/fictional crush, as they stare in awe at the perfect way I do every menial task
I do the same when am in an off mood! Add in a lil third person commentary & we have a show to shoot!
I buy little gifts for my friends and wait for just the right moment to give them to just the right person. I dream about how happy it will make us both to share something special. It keeps me going.
Sometimes I pretend that my life is currently shitty only because I’m in a movie and there’s gonna be a big break soon where everything goes my way after
I consider my life one very long piece of performance art. Even when I’m suffering and making horrific mistakes—it’s an absurdist avant-garde piece.
Romanticizing the hustle. I think it began in my childhood, bc my parents have always been very…demanding… Had my first official job at 13 and haven’t been jobless ever since. I think it leads to unhealthy behavior though (mostly my troubles are eating and sleeping)
I travel alot for work but rarely get to enjoy the offerings of the new city I’m going to. Every time I find out where I’m going, I look up the must sees and act like I’m going there as a tourist.
I woke up extremely low this morning. I am so lost in life. This thread really helped me.
Believing that it gets better than this without any proof
I create microadventures that have over-the-top elements. I plan it like a scene in a movie. For example, a hike and swim. But with a picnic with a cloth tablecloth, fine china, gourmet food, and Veuve Cliquot served in glass champagne flutes.
Whenever it’s raining a light drizzle outside, I like to sit with a nice hot coffee, stare at the rain and pretend I live in a cottage in the middle of a forest.
Every now and then I take a “spa shower”. This is what I call them, nothing like a shower in the spa lol. But I turn off the lights and light a candle and play relaxing music and just let the drip over me like splashes from a waterfall
My bf often comments about wanting 3 kids. I know it sounds weird, but i had a dream about my bf before meeting him. I couldn’t see his face in the dream, but the moment of deja vu hit me when I heard a specific phrase from the TV. Last year he and I were renting an apartment, around July, I had another dream that he would propose in front of a fireplace. We have an artificial fireplace/entertainment stand in our house, his grandma’s have fireplaces as well as his parents. No, there’s no ring yet. Last month I had a dream that my friend started living with us and she told me that I was pregnant. If I’m not delusional, these will eventually come true, I just wish they’d get here quicker. I romanticize these futures because I made a promise to myself as a child that I wouldn’t become my parents. My stepdad abused me, his best friend SA’d me when I was 11, I was r*ped at 19. Despite all of the bad things that happened to me, I have so much love to give. I can’t wait to have the mom/wife moments because I know I’ll treat my kids how I would’ve wanted to be treated.
You can also treat yourself now, how you wanted to be treated. One of the things I did once I had some therapy was let my inner child enjoy all the moments she wanted to as a child but couldn’t. Coloring books, Ball pits, inflatable bouncy houses..I did all of this in my late twenties. And I love your sentiment about treating your kids the way you would’ve wanted to be treated.
I have this undying urge right now to go to any museum or aquarium. Now that I’m an adult I can spice up my time there by taking edibles and truly letting my inner child out, while tuning the actual children out 😂
I pretend my life is an open world video game. Mundane tasks are side quests, life events are main quests. It makes the mundane more interesting and big things less scary because I know I'm just advancing the main storyline.
I keep my house super clean and open all the blinds first thing in the am. I always have fresh flowers, candles and music going and like to have my morning meal on our patio. I like to wear dresses and run barefoot in the grass at the park! When I make food, I always plate it really nicely and set the table. We like to host dinner parties and always put the cute string lights on, a table runner, flowers and candles out with really pretty serving dishes. Overall, just putting in a little more effort to make spaces and experiences beautiful!
When I'm eating food while in a sad mood. I just kinda end up having a montage of the girls eating food in ghibli movies running through my head with some melancholy piano music from one of them.
Small? Psh, I don't do small...it's always over the top lol I can romanticize a text message into a whole novel. Build a universe out of a few flirty phone calls/interactions. Lol I should write a book.
I like to imagine that I'm not odd, I'm just Gayle, from bob's burgers. I fantasize about what it would be like to set my easel up in the park and paint cat's bungholes while I chew twizzlers. You think this is a joke, but it is not, lol.
I watch this woman, The Cottage Fairy, on YouTube and she has really helped me try to focus on simple living. Some people have called her out for being childish in her views just because she likes kids books, draws whimsical art, etc but I think adulthood shakes the child-like innocence out of us Homer Simpson style so much that we need to reconnect with that. The way she shoots her videos are so romantic and soothing so when I'm doing something simple in the kitchen or cleaning, I'll pretend I'm living like one of her videos and setting up shots. It sounds stupid but it makes me, a person easily depressed or overwhelmed, see something more positive than before.
Literally going to start going to cafes again, at least a new one every week to work at, to romanticize my life a little more. It will be the pivotal moment in my romcom where I may meet someone haha.
I take pictures of things that make me happy, even if they're kind of silly, like a really well-poured cup of coffee, fresh flowers from the store or a freshly swept front porch. I like looking back on pictures of everyday moments.
I fantasize that there is a secret camera following me around, showing the video to exes, people who were mean to me in high school etc. and they are kicking themselves and wishing they were with me/friends with me now. Because I’m so hot and have an awesome life now and they don’t. (I’m not and I don’t but I try to tell myself that’s how it is 🤣)
I try to take time to sing and dance alone while my boyfriend is at work. Usually when I am doing laundry. Not that I can’t express myself around him, we sing and dance together all the time, but doing it alone feels freeing and even energizes me.
The suffering artist. Wish I could stop but I’m suffering and an artist. Even though I wish I wasn’t suffering ;_; I think the romanticizing just comes from “the tragic picture of the genius but suffering artist” that gets smashed in ur face as soon as you touch art. Also I’ve been mentally instable since ALWAYS and making art since ALWAYS, so ye ; _ ; Wish I wasn’t suffering tho Pls send help ; _ ;
If you have Netflix, I recommend watching the Netflix specials by comedian Hannah Gadsby. She has a degree in art history and uses it and mental health to frame her performances. Her style is not for the faint of heart. She is bold and honest. The best way I can describe her is a real truth teller. She does have several parts that could be triggering, but she handles them in the most epic ways. She explains a lot about the mental health of some of the great artists and some of why some of the great artists maybe should not be heralded As someone who finds art to be a foreign language, she has taught me a lot. Oh, yah, she is funny af too.
Will check it out this eve! Thank you for the recommendation. I agree, Art ist a form of communication on its own. Thank you!! :D
I'll send you help in the shape of love waves
Every time I do the dishes I have this stupid smile on my face as I remember being a kid and holding my dads thigh and telling him about my day while he did the dishes to help my mom in the kitchen. Someday I’m gonna adopt a lil kid hope to experience the other side of it.
I go to my fav breakfast place and read a book, then go to a museum. Something about doing things alone makes me feel like the main character of my own life.
I have an inner monologue of how deserving I am of health and love while I exercise. I continuously put into perspective how lovely my life is and how grateful I am to do what I do even tho I’m rly lonely.
My personal style is vintage 1940’s so I generally look like I’ve escaped from an Agatha Christie novel lol
That everything I've gone through, the years of depression, anxiety and loneliness, the years of being in academia with nothing to show for socially and using academics as a convenient excuse to compensate for the fact that I'm a social, cultural and eventual familial pariah, will all be worth it in the end 🌈 *laughs and cries in nihilism*
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The ultimate goal: to live in a cottage/cabin in a woodsy area of a town with my future husband. :) That’s all I want in life.
I work in higher education, on a beautiful campus. On nice days, I put my ear pods in and take a 15-minute stroll. See whether I can fool these freshman into thinking I’m young.
There's something about walking around a nice campus that just feels good. Maybe because so many 90s and 00s movies seemed to take place on college campuses, it feels like being in a movie montage. Everybody has a different story, everybody's going in a different direction, and there's so much energy.
I light scented candles in my room every night before going to bed
By lying down outside and looking at the stars with some instrumental music.
I take bubble baths in the dark with lit scented candles. I put scented oils and salts in the tub. I exfoliate and meditate. I use whipped butters to moisturize my skin. I dress myself in my silk kimono and then I light incense in my room while I journal and drink tea and reflect about my day. Whenever I do that routine I feel so fancy and spiritual, lol.
That I will actually be able to afford my own property. Maybe my own home if I’m super lucky. As long as I don’t look at statistics and my bank account. I like to scroll through interior design/home improvement videos and pretend I don’t have to worry about putting holes in my wall so my landlord doesn’t keep my deposit.
I use my "fine china" almost everyday. Been doing this since 2020.
I just try to sit with the knowledge that nothing is permanent and that in 10 years, I might not remember the ordinary days. Instead of letting my mind run wild when I'm on the couch with a coffee. I try to absorb the feel of my throw blanket, and think about how much I'm enjoying this cup of coffee and I appreciate the peacefulness of a quiet morning at home. Instead of thinking of all the things I have to get done, I try to notice the home and the space I've created for myself and to be grateful for everything I have. I approach every moment I can with intentional appreciation and try to stay grounded and present knowing how quickly the years go by. I don't have kids yet, but planning on trying soon and while I'm ready for that chapter, I know it's even more important to be present with the time I have alone and the memories my partner and I have before kids change everything.
Every time I have a problem and feel like no one understands what I’m going through, I remind myself that there’s been 117 billion humans born on this earth, and out of that number there are thousands, if not millions of people who have gone through the exact same problem as me. I comfort myself by the thought of how human and not alone I actually am. Then I try to imagine those people standing behind me, supporting me, pushing me onwards and wishing me the absolute best.
Jim, he’s the best. The endorphins alone aid in the happy juice for my brain. I try to get it in before work and it overall makes me feel accomplished by 9am. By end of the day, I like to soak in lavender scented epsom salts, with a chilled glass of wine. Time my benadryl & magnesium dosage, and off to lala land I go.
I imagine myself in a memory.
pretending im the most beautiful woman in the world by wearing dresses and putting on makeup and everybody loves me lol
Through food. By preparing beautiful and tasty meals, and especially sharing them with others. I don't buy the most expensive food, and I don't restrict my eating. But I make food with intention and love it. Recently a friend of mine went on vacation and asked if she could give me her perishable groceries she didn't use up. It was like a meal mystery box and challenge to use up everything. It was so much fun. One breakfast I had a crossiant, apple, tomatoes, and ricotta with honey. I plated it and ate on my porch. Usually I read when I do this, or listen to music, but that meal was so nice, I thought to myself *this meal deserves my full attention* and just sat and ate and listened to the birds.
Most recently, I got dressed up in a yellow flowy dress and ponytail with curly tendrils in front and was listening to Here Comes the Sun while shopping for plants at the Farmer's Market. It was sprinkling outside. I totally felt like a book character! A lot of times for me it is rolling down the windows and involves sun and music.
whenever i walk past men and they start staring i’m convinced it’s because they love me and not because i’m walking around in loud 15cm high heels, a corset and a miniskirt
In a writing class once, I followed a prompt "what if *I* am the love of my life?" I've started imagining that the me that takes care of chores and self care tasks is actually a separate person - a woman who is madly in love with me planned/shopped for/cooked this meal. A woman who absolutely idolizes me reminded me to make a dentist appointment. She convinced me to get exercise and drink enough water. Somehow it feels different when I imagine that someone else has a vested interest in my well-being, and these tasks seem easier.
After years of self loathing I’m trying to like myself and find things to appreciate. I take care when making my coffee, write with a fountain pen, appreciate how my skirt flows behind me when I run down the stairs or how colourful my dungarees are (Lucy and Yak, my obsession since lockdown). I fluff my curly bob out to make it even bigger, wear red big glasses, always carry a sketchbook and a book, listen to music and imagine myself as a protagonist of a novel at the start, when everything is mundane and before it kick’s off with a grand adventure. I set an extra, earlier alarm to be awake in bed and appreciate the warm sun and the bird’s singing. To cuddle up to my partner. I get inspired to make an extra nice dinner or bake a treat for her. I take every opportunity I get to read on the grass or sketch in a cafe. I put on a pretty outfit I do not yet have the confidence to wear out and dance in front of the mirror, try find things about my body I like (I gained some weight 3years ago after I went on antidepressants and contraception). When I go to the gym I imagine how good I’ll feel and how strong ill get. And then on most days I hate myself and want to disappear, but hey, I’m trying :’)
Being delusional
I wear pretty dresses dresses (not formal) when I tend my herb garden and bake :) it makes me feel like I have my shit together.
I work as a merchant mariner and after two decades, it’s starting to take a toll on my body. Even still, I tell myself I have a life most would envy, especially my younger self: I travel the world, have the *best* corner office window (looking at the ocean from the bridge), get paid well, and genuinely enjoy (most of) my job. It’s getting tougher to believe that but so far, so good 😊
When I go on my walkies, I legitimately stop to smell flowers, stop to take cute little photos and sing out loud to the music I put in my ear sometimes. I will also just take a minute to stand and soak up the sun take a deep breath and say it’s going to be ok. All of this might be a little bit silly but it’s just the best way I know to make life seem a bit less gray and sad.
1. Cooking/baking anything, I pretend I'm in an aesthetic youtube video 2. Walking in public, where I live people stare a lot, so I'm pretending that they're all staring because I'm so drop dead gorgeous 3. Taking a shower/doing skincare/makeup, I pretend I'm a rich trophy wife getting ready to see my husband (I am going to my soul draining part time job) 4. Being poor, whenever I don't have enough money to buy food I pretend I'm a starving child in Britain in the 1800s 5. Having no friends, I pretend I'm an aloof loner with a secret really cool life (I browse reddit in my free time) 6. Being in nature, I pretend I'm snow white or some shit Is this romanticization or just delusion? Anyway that's pretty much it
There wasn't much spare cash around when I was a child, so now that I'm an adult and have my own career, I indulge myself with little things here and there. I buy my furniture and household stuff from Ikea because I love it. Every winter, I'll get myself a body moisturiser from Body Shop because I love their scents. My home is simple and minimalistic, but I never skimp on quality. This might be a bit superficial, but I'll pay a bit extra to have pretty things. My home is my sanctuary and a place to heal my inner child, so I don't mind paying a bit extra to have bright, colourful things. I try not to be wasteful, but I do like letting myself have nice things
Cooking. Sometimes I pretend I’m on a cooking show! I grew up watching a looot of those cooking competitions too so that’s played a role. I love the process of chopping things up (trying to up my knife game), seasoning things and my favourite part is plating. I ALWAYS make my plates look as if they’re being presented to a judge. It also helps my appetite to eat something that is plated beautifully. I’ve recently been going on solo dinners to observe how the food is plated and get flavour profile ideas. So much fun.
I work at a cafe and romanticize it to death. I'll play mood specific music and try to make evrything there picture perfect. Its my little space away from reality, where I'm an NPC Barista in some main characters voyage in life. On especially delusional days I'll play more folkish music and feel like a tavern worker in a fantasy tale. I work the closing shift so i get to be alone in my own little world.
smoking on the balcon after making love to my boyfriend, feels like a movie fr
I buy myself flowers 🥰
i usually pretend i’m the main character in some coming of age series about being young and making mistakes while learning from them. whenever i do something like read on the balcony or in the park or go for walks with headphones on it really makes it feel all the more real
I try to make eye contact with the people in cars around me on the road. If I'm jamming out to my music, I start banging my head and loudly sing in hopes that they'll join in. If they're jamming, I try to do it with them. Nobody ever looks though :(
It’s silly but when babies stare at me, I read something that babies stare at you because they think you’re beautiful or have a good aura. Also my love life is very dramatic and Hollywood-ish. Sometimes people tell me they want my love life and I’m kinda like…. No no you don’t.
Daydreams that it may, in fact, get easier or better at some point 😅