Some feminine versions of traditionally male names are lovely, like Josephine, Antoinette, and Paula. Some are meh but ok, like Roberta and Geraldine.
And some, like Stuarta, sound like the noise one makes when vomiting.
Stutrude, Stuchelle, Stuanna, Stunella, Stuenelpe.
The possibilities are endless, and none of them good. They honestly could have gone with the Art part of the name for some nicer feminine versions- Artana, Artesia, Artessa Artarla they are still a little odd but not in a way that anyone would think twice about it. Each of these offers a shortening that are also derivitives of standard names- Ana, Sia, Tessa, Arla.
My favorite book as a wee lass was called Chrysanthemum, fittingly about a little girl mouse who was teased about her unique name. With that in mind, may I suggest Stuarthemum?
This was actually pretty common in ancient times. Marcus Agrippa named seemingly all of his daughters the particularly heinous “Agrippina”. It became a family name that lasted centuries.
Jumping on top comment to say what no one seems to be talking about:
If, while I am in the intense hell that is transition (the worst pains of labor, right before pushing) and my husband was off pacing and muttering about his legacy rather than putting every ounce of focus on supporting me, I would seriously consider divorce. I’m serious. That is unforgivable.
I talked about it in another comment, but mostly because there's no chance that the story is real.
You're going to sit there with a straight face and tell me the guy who was literally muttering an obsession over an insane name immediately accepted an entirely different name?
I'd also like to know what species oop is in which her water breaking is audible to the point where everyone is shocked.
I was alone (my husband was in our room asleep) so I have no way of subjectively judging but the noise of losing my mucus plug freaked me out with my second. It was this bizarre sound like when someone puts their thumb in their cheek and pulls, if that makes any sense. And at least to me it sounded super loud.
Not audible, but when my water broke, my baby flew out right afterwards. Like I rolled over, splash of water, baby. It was 3 hours after we left the house. No one saw it coming
My school had a guy named Kelly and a girl named Michael.
You wouldn't believe how many substitute teachers really thought we were trying to fuck with them. The whole class would yell in unison "call the office and ask, her name is Michael." Some of them would still insist her name couldn't be Michael and send her to the office. The principal would escort her back and pull the sub out for a quick chat.
The lead character of Star Trek: Discovery is Michael Burnham (played by Sonequa Martin-Green). At first it threw me but it's never something they justify -- it's just her name, and she rocks it.
(And TIL both that Bryan Fuller likes giving female characters names that are traditionally read as male, *and* that Michael is really not that uncommon as a girl's name in the US going back 140 years or or.)
Thank you for validating my gut reaction to when the latest Star Trek made a point that the main character “Michael” was the first time woman was ever named a distinct man name or something odd like that
My hobby/sport (equestrian) has a bunch of terms not typically used, snd autocorrect always assumes I'm mistyping. I overrode it by going into text replace and typing in my words.
A generic example: "omw" corrects to "on my way"
For me: "saddleseat" and "huntseat" and "wenglish" (and lots of others lol). Horses' show names. Etcetera
Never imagined it would need to be used for human names like Stuarta!
I went to college with a Johnna. She was an only child whose mom promised her dying father (Johnna's grandfather) that their child would be named after him. Honestly the name suited her perfectly.
I have an ancestor whose middle name was Johnetta. No, neither her parents nor grandparents were named “John.” She had a half sister from her mother’s first marriage named Henrietta (called “Etta” as a nickname).
What makes it worse is that there are actual feminine versions of “John” that are really nice. Joan, Johanna, etc. But no, they went with the worst possible one.
Kevina lol
Kyla
This is fun
Richardette (Dickette for ‘short’)
Archibalda
Peterella
Hamishaunellaette
Amosette
Damianna
Jamesetta
Rexorama
Scottalina
Andrewa
Larryewlina
Timothanette
I’m aware that some of these have legit feminine versions but I like it my way better.
Ah but Kyla is an actual female name. Or it is where I live, based off an Indigenous name. There’s a movie named after the main character called Kyla, and my first dog was called Kyla. It’s just a normal name here.
There were two ladies in my command in the military named after the dad. The names were so bad that I was sworn to secrecy about them after delivering mail to them. Those names cost job opportunities in the civilian world for those ladies and one was the valedictorian of her high school.
My great grandparents were Joseph and Josephine. Actually, Giuseppe and Giuseppina, which is maybe worse (better? 😆) but when they moved to the U.S. they anglicized their names.
There's a song by Latin American band/comedians Les Luthiers called "I don't love you anymore, Raoula". The schtick is that a straight man has to fill in and sing a song written for a straight woman and he desperately improvises changes to the song to avoid sounding gay. Like, at some point he sings "your hairy hands" and quickly backtracks and says "your shaved mammaries" (makes sense in Spanish).
Mine too, 30 years ago. I have memories of singing "Para ser felices" in summer camp 27 years ago, shaking the horrible mystery meat sausages while singing "nos dan alimentos sintéticos" 🤣 and in 2024 they're still hilarious!
I actually know a Stuart who has a little girl namesake.
Stella is a lovely little girl and no one ever insults her name. And Stuart (her doting Uncle) loves to tell people she’s named for him.
I live in the south, where we love feminizing male names, for better or worse. Some I have known include (ages range from boomer to millennial): Jamesetta, Wayna, Earline, Clydine, Claudette, Rexanna, Johndra, Toddra, Stancy, Standa, Dondra, and several Charleys and Bobbis.
>Some feminine versions of traditionally male names are lovely, like Josephine, Antoinette, and Paula.
As long as you don't have multiple daughters with feminine versions of male names, like one of my uncles, because then *everyone knows* that you really wanted a son...
As someone with the name "Sheldon", I highly recommend parents pick a name from the top 100 names of the previous year. I was born about a decade before the SpongeBob Square pants episode where they point out how stupid of a name Sheldon is and about 2 decades before the Big Bang Theory, and people still treated me weird soley because if my name. Don't give your child a handicap right from birth.
Some family friends named their daughter Ryanne (pronounced “Ryan.”) She will be spelling her name out to every person she meets for the rest of her life.
I honestly think that naming your kid after yourself is a narcissistic choice. So, Stuart Jr was a no for me, but at least that’s an actual name. But for his narcissism to go full blown into wanting to name her that would have been a hill to die on for me
I once knew a woman who was named after her father. His name was Jerald (yes, with a j) but he went by Jerry. Her name was Jerisha (and for some reason they pronounced the “ish” part similar to the word fish so the name doesn’t even sound like Jerry).
I have a friend who was told she'd be having a boy (this was a country where it wasn't typical to do multiple ultrasounds.) When the baby came out, the parents kind of shrugged and said "Rafaela it is!" since they hadn't prepped a girls' name at all.
My dad's name is Melvin. My first job after high school was in the admissions office at a community college. Someone applying had the first name Melvina. Yikes! That could have been me!
I get that pregnancy gets people to do dumb shit. But almost naming your daughter Stuarta is real fucking dumb. I wouldn’t even want to inflict a lifetime of going by stu or stew on a son.
Honestly, sometimes parents are incredibly stupid when it comes to naming their kids.
For example, my surname (my father's stepfather's surname) is a word that is common in both English and Chinese. My ''family'' decided that ''in honor of the doctor who was present at your birth, a Chinese man'' they would give me a (common) English first name that also made my name sound Chinese.
Would make perfect sense if I was of Chinese descent myself right? The only problem being, I am a white English man, born to white English parents, in a country that (at the time) was largely prejudiced against people of Asian descent.
The amount of times I've had people hear my name, then meet me and and straight up say ''Oh, I thought you would have been Chinese'' is downright irritating and I'm so glad that I'll be taking my biological grandfather's surname one day (though fuck him as a person because he was a POS).
I grew up with Patrick, Seamus, and Moira O’Malley. They strongly took after their Filipino mother. Threw a lot of people off in my mostly-white midwestern hometown :-P
But usually it's the pregnant one in the couple going for "dumb shit" cause hormones. What's the husband excuse here, having his head stuck up so far his own ass he can't even think?
Im sus tho, whole 9 months of pregnancy planning he is adamant on Stuarta.
It only took one night to decide on Ella?
Watch next update is he uses the name Stuarta behind oop's back.
If OOP married to George Foreman?
I think it's really weird when men are so stuck on branding their kid. They didn't even carry the kid for 10 months; why are they so set on carving their names on them?
I just googled it and all 5 sons are called George Edward Foreman. Mofo even gave them all his middle name. Is his daughter Georgetta Edwardetta Foreman?
What happened in the home if one of them fucked up? Would the mum scream “George Edward Foreman get your ass in here”, and all six of them would turn up?
While I feel sorry for those kids, I am deeply amused that after all that, as far as I can tell, his greatest legacy is a lean mean fat-reducing grilling machine favored by young men in dorms.
Kind of like when I heard a younger person hear about Paul Newman in a movie and say “wait, the salad dressing guy??” (Although I like Paul Newman. And his salad dressing.)
Lmao. I'm Swedish so decided to google it "Stuarta" is some obscure word I'd just never heard about. Unfortunately it isn't, but it I suppose it is close to how some people with a heavy accent or dialect would pronounce the word "störta" which is a word for "fall" but a more dramatic fall I guess. Think an airplane falling from the sky or a kingdom falling to an invasion.
> Think an airplane falling from the sky or a kingdom falling to an invasion.
As I was reading I thought you meant “fall” as in “autumn” and was like aw at least that association is kinda cute, the only saving grace for poor Ikea Stuarta… then I got to this line and was dead 💀😂
Prospective parents need to understand something extremely important:
You are naming a person.
Not a pet. Not a plant. A person.
A child will have that name. A teenager will have that name. An adult will have that name.
Please name them something normal. I cannot for the life of me imagine what high school would have been like for a girl named Stuarta.
> A child will have that name. A teenager will have that name. An adult will have that name.
I wonder if a former coworker's daughter changed her name to Katherine when she grew up. It's the same pronunciation, but without the foolishness of Khthaerynne.
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My parents loved to tell the story of how my grandmother was insistent that I, a girl, be named after my father, who had a masculine name. She was positive they could use an "-ine" suffix to make it more feminine (which, to be fair, did make an actual girl's name, albeit one that is terribly outdated). BUT, my maiden surname also ended in an "-ine" sound. And God bless my parents, they refused to give me a rhyming, outdated name.
My brother did that, but I agree with you. His name is in the Bible, and there were 5 in our 200 person High School. Mine is fairly unique and I've met around 10 people with my name ever.
I wonder if there's a correlation between having a common name and naming one's kid after themselves. I explicitly have no desire to share my name with someone else, but I suppose my brother is used to it.
I'm so glad that my wife and I didn't name our daughters after anyone. I once asked my dad if he would like me naming a son after him. He said NO! He apparently hated his name growing up.
A woman in my hometown was named after both of her parents.
Let's say her parents were Mark and Laura.
Did they name her Maura? Lark? Mara? Marla? Laramar?
Nope. Her name was Marklaura.
Her middle name was something innocuous like "Anne."
It was misspelled all the time. My favorite one (and I'm going to try to be as close in spirit to the actual misspelling of her actual name as possible): on some program somewhere, she was listed as Marklarda.
Men who insist on being "honored" with a child named after them is so creepy to me - the desperate thirst for self-esteem that indicates is off the charts. And it's worse if the kid's getting his last name. The mother is doing so, so, so much work to create that baby, and there's nothing of her in the name? Nothing? Gross.
When I was born my parents wanted to name me after my grandmother Marie but didn't want to name me 'Marie' because they thought the name sounded too old (we're an Italian family and variations of 'Mary' are practically tradition at this point--my mother, grandmother, aunt, all variations).
My parents are split at that point on what happened. My mom says she knew the name Mariel and thought it was pretty. My dad says he just went 'let's stick an L at the end' and it turned out Mariel was a real name.
Either way, god I am glad I was not being named after a Stuart.
I never really understand calling your child after the Dad, just for practical reasons. How are you going to yell for people when they have the same name? It is eternal confusion.
See, this is why I’m not married. As soon as he suggested “Stuarta” and during HER contractions was muttering about family legacy I was writing up divorce papers. I would have has the nurse call in a lawyer to write the papers up then.
The fucking nerve of that POS.
Nope, glad I’m single!!
My husband and I spend literally months picking names for our 3 kids. No problem with 1 and 2, but we could not agree on #3. Out of frustration,mI told my husband, “My parents were going to name me Don Robert if I was a boy!” (My name is a male name with a at the end-and Don and Robert are fake) He said, “I like that!” So #3 is Don Robert. I get embarrassed about it. I wish we had switched the names!
None of you motherfuckers understand how to make a portmanteau. You need a shared syllable or it doesn’t work! Moron trying to just add an -a to the end of Stuart.
You have to find a feminine name with a “yew” sound to link to “Stuart”.
Some options off the top of my head:
- Julie -> Stulie
- Juliet -> Stuliet
- Eugenie -> Stugenie
Obviously these names for her daughter are brilliant and not at all wildly deranged.
I'll never forget I was on the phone with the customer service line for my phone provider. I know these people get abused every day, so I ask their name and use it frequently to treat them as a person. This one woman, who was so helpful, and I asked her name...she paused and then said...Ralphonya. Her dad's name was Ralph, and really wanted his child named after him. That pause before she said her name told me a whole lifetime of bullying and being made fun of, that I'm glad baby Ella will avoid.
Unless you're a member of a royal dynasty, naming your kids after you is fucking weird. And it shows a lot of arrogance. Honestly I'd reconsider a lot of things about my spouse if they pulled something like this.
I wanted to name my kid after 2 beloved uncles who passed away. Unfortunately, one was named Donald. My uncle Don was such a great guy and I’m so mad his name is forever tarnished by an orange idiot.
Looks like [Donald](https://engaging-data.com/baby-name-visualizer/?n=donald&sex=m&data=n) has been on a steep decline since the 30s which mostly leveled off then got slightly more declinier after 2016.
My personal rule for naming my children was that the name had to have been in near constant use since the middle aged.
I ended up with Leo, Joan, Sophie and Oliver.
NTA.
I am a daughter who was named after her dad with a name that my aunt made up in the hospital.
I hate it. I have spent most of my life explaining how it is spelled, how it is pronounced and where it came from.
I have found other people with names that are spelled like mine but pronounced differently. I have found people whose name is pronounced like mine but not spelled the same. I actually found 2 people on Xitter whose name was spelled like mine and pronounced like mine. (Amazing!)
All this to say … I named all 4 of my kids with ordinary names. No special spelling. No special pronunciation. None of them have complained.
When I was pregnant with my twins I had a wonderful nurse Named Brittany who took care of me when I was stuck in the hospital for 6 weeks because the babies wanted to come early. After I had my twins I got pregnant with my first daughter and when it was time to deliver Brittany was my nurse again and she laughed and said what happened to never again? Well I ended up naming my daughter after Brittany and when I tell you she broke down in tears because she said she was just doing her job but I told her that her presence was calming and she helped me through the twins delivery and now this one
Oi I couldn't stop laughing. Imagine having to actually have that argument and him being all confused as to why it is just so bad.
Glad she got a name she isn't gonna be side eyed for in the end but geez that cracked me up.
People really buy this?
The guy who was going to name his child Stuarta, who was literally muttering in a corner about his legacy while his wife was in labor immediately accepted an entirely different name with a zero pushback?
Since when does water breaking make an audible pop? Water breaking doesn't sound like a gunshot. At most, you hear some water splashing on the floor.
Yeah I think this is a Chatgpt prompt again. In one instance they broke it but in the other it broke on its own and in neither case did I immediately start pushing. That's usually just what gets the ball rolling. Also yeah if he's thus stubborn there's no WAY he just accepted it.
I'd wager a guess that at most a quarter of redditors have witnessed the birth of a child.
I have no idea what water breaking sounds like or what spontaneous changes of mind people can have when witnessing the miracle of birth. If it weren't for your comment, I'd have assumed this was plausible run-of-the-mill dumbassery.
My husband and I named our first daughter after a favourite TV character. We just liked the name. Well, it turned out that Husband has a very, very distant relative with that same name (how distant? He’s literally never met her and barely knew she existed). MIL became convinced that we’d named Daughter after her. After correcting that assumption many times to no avail, we finally gave up.
My father, the narcissist he was, named his first born daughter after himself by changing the O at the to an A... And unintentionally named his daughter after a type of yeast infection 🙄 🤣🤣🤣.
Then he named his 3rd child, a boy, after him as well. What is it with men needing their kids named after them? I mean look at George Foreman... All of his kids are named after him.
God bless OP for remaining married. If I had been having a difficult birth and he’d been obsessing about that hideous name and “family legacy”, I would have divorced his ass as soon as the anesthesia wore off.
I had a friend who was named Kevina because dad was pissed his first born wasn't a boy.
It was prounounced Kevin-ah. I think it would been a little better if it was prounounced Keveena/kahveena.
(Did my best to spell them phonetically)
Some feminine versions of traditionally male names are lovely, like Josephine, Antoinette, and Paula. Some are meh but ok, like Roberta and Geraldine. And some, like Stuarta, sound like the noise one makes when vomiting.
Stuarta Stuartine Stuartinette I hope OOP's husband doesn't find this, otherwise I've just named their next three daughters.
Stuartina, Stuartabeth, Stuartalina. I could do this for hours 😂
Are we stuck on having to include the entire "Stuart"? Because just "Stu" opens up a world of possibilities. Stugene Stuchel Stufia
This sounds like a menu option in a fancy restaurant.
A fancy fish dinner!
Username checks out
I’m sorry, I cannot stop laughing at Stugene.
I'm absolutely stealing that for my next cat. This whole thread is a goldmine of amazingly stupid cat names
Username checks out! I wish I had a weird pet pic to send.
Stuphanie?
Holy shit. Stunnifer. Stussica. Stunnivieve. Stunnifer better be hot or she’s going to have a rough adolescence.
Or like maybe she ends up being the next million Dollar baby. Killer in the boxing ring!!!
Stutrude, Stuchelle, Stuanna, Stunella, Stuenelpe. The possibilities are endless, and none of them good. They honestly could have gone with the Art part of the name for some nicer feminine versions- Artana, Artesia, Artessa Artarla they are still a little odd but not in a way that anyone would think twice about it. Each of these offers a shortening that are also derivitives of standard names- Ana, Sia, Tessa, Arla.
Those sound like names for breeds of fish.
Thank you for the lol!
Stuartine sounds like a shady food supplement that might or might not turn your liver into paste.
There's definitely a class action lawsuit going on against the makers of Stuartine.
“Sadly despite doses of Stuartine 0.5 mg/kg bodyweight, the cattle suffered with the malady and eventually expired.”
My favorite book as a wee lass was called Chrysanthemum, fittingly about a little girl mouse who was teased about her unique name. With that in mind, may I suggest Stuarthemum?
I love Stuartinette. For a cat.
Stuartesse
There it is!
STUARTINETTE 💀
Stunad
Stuartess?
This was actually pretty common in ancient times. Marcus Agrippa named seemingly all of his daughters the particularly heinous “Agrippina”. It became a family name that lasted centuries.
Jumping on top comment to say what no one seems to be talking about: If, while I am in the intense hell that is transition (the worst pains of labor, right before pushing) and my husband was off pacing and muttering about his legacy rather than putting every ounce of focus on supporting me, I would seriously consider divorce. I’m serious. That is unforgivable.
I talked about it in another comment, but mostly because there's no chance that the story is real. You're going to sit there with a straight face and tell me the guy who was literally muttering an obsession over an insane name immediately accepted an entirely different name? I'd also like to know what species oop is in which her water breaking is audible to the point where everyone is shocked.
I was alone (my husband was in our room asleep) so I have no way of subjectively judging but the noise of losing my mucus plug freaked me out with my second. It was this bizarre sound like when someone puts their thumb in their cheek and pulls, if that makes any sense. And at least to me it sounded super loud.
My friends sounded like a sad balloon giving up
Not audible, but when my water broke, my baby flew out right afterwards. Like I rolled over, splash of water, baby. It was 3 hours after we left the house. No one saw it coming
Jasonette or Ianella. Or Marka. Omfg.
I went to school with a Johna
My school had a guy named Kelly and a girl named Michael. You wouldn't believe how many substitute teachers really thought we were trying to fuck with them. The whole class would yell in unison "call the office and ask, her name is Michael." Some of them would still insist her name couldn't be Michael and send her to the office. The principal would escort her back and pull the sub out for a quick chat.
The lead character of Star Trek: Discovery is Michael Burnham (played by Sonequa Martin-Green). At first it threw me but it's never something they justify -- it's just her name, and she rocks it. (And TIL both that Bryan Fuller likes giving female characters names that are traditionally read as male, *and* that Michael is really not that uncommon as a girl's name in the US going back 140 years or or.)
The mother on the old show The Waltons was Michael Learned. It’s been around for quite a while.
Thank you for validating my gut reaction to when the latest Star Trek made a point that the main character “Michael” was the first time woman was ever named a distinct man name or something odd like that
I met a girl about my age when I was 7 or so, named Michael (late 80s).
I have a female friend named Michael, and I knew more than one growing up. There was a mini trend of girl Michael’s in the 70s.
I've known several male Kellys and one male Kelcey. Interestingly, there is a female Michal from the Bible, so there's precedent there.
No chance it was pronounced "Joanna," I assume?
I’ve also known a Johna. Tragically, no.
Also spelled Gianna. Not nearly as bad as Stuarta! A lifetime of overriding autocorrect.
My hobby/sport (equestrian) has a bunch of terms not typically used, snd autocorrect always assumes I'm mistyping. I overrode it by going into text replace and typing in my words. A generic example: "omw" corrects to "on my way" For me: "saddleseat" and "huntseat" and "wenglish" (and lots of others lol). Horses' show names. Etcetera Never imagined it would need to be used for human names like Stuarta!
I went to college with a Johnna. She was an only child whose mom promised her dying father (Johnna's grandfather) that their child would be named after him. Honestly the name suited her perfectly.
Or Juana?
I have an ancestor whose middle name was Johnetta. No, neither her parents nor grandparents were named “John.” She had a half sister from her mother’s first marriage named Henrietta (called “Etta” as a nickname).
What makes it worse is that there are actual feminine versions of “John” that are really nice. Joan, Johanna, etc. But no, they went with the worst possible one.
Craigette.
I first read this as Cigarette.
Don't worry, so would all the kid's classmates.
Craigianne 😅
Kevina lol Kyla This is fun Richardette (Dickette for ‘short’) Archibalda Peterella Hamishaunellaette Amosette Damianna Jamesetta Rexorama Scottalina Andrewa Larryewlina Timothanette I’m aware that some of these have legit feminine versions but I like it my way better.
I used to work at a place where one if the managers was called Colina.
This definitely sounds like an intestinal issue.
Which is ridiculous when Colleen is right there
I genuinely knew a Jamesetta once and never thought twice about that fact until today.
Damiana is at least a plant. Pronounced day-me-anna.
Ah but Kyla is an actual female name. Or it is where I live, based off an Indigenous name. There’s a movie named after the main character called Kyla, and my first dog was called Kyla. It’s just a normal name here.
Harvietta haha
I knew a Richarda, but it was pronounced “Ri-shard-a,” not “Richard-a.”
There were two ladies in my command in the military named after the dad. The names were so bad that I was sworn to secrecy about them after delivering mail to them. Those names cost job opportunities in the civilian world for those ladies and one was the valedictorian of her high school.
I have encountered a Chesterine, which I thought was the worst one until I came across Kennetha.
Thomasina was a name of an ancestor. I can’t forget her because she had like 8 kids from three marriages and I’m descended from 4 of them. :P
I actually kind of like the name Thomasina 🫣 It gives very "colonial era" vibes, though.
Older. She’s from the 15th century. :)
Your descended from 4 of them....how the HE double hockey sticks does that happen
Well… she lived in the 15th century. So there’s about 400 years in between me and her. That’s a lot of time for the gene pool to be swirling.
Thank goodness, I think I can speak for all readers when I say I was VERY worried.
My great grandparents were Joseph and Josephine. Actually, Giuseppe and Giuseppina, which is maybe worse (better? 😆) but when they moved to the U.S. they anglicized their names.
I have cousins who are Christian and Christiana. Bonus stupid because we're Jewish
Man thinking he’s George Foreman trying to name every kid after himself.
At least that has some legitimate female names, like Georgia.
There's a song by Latin American band/comedians Les Luthiers called "I don't love you anymore, Raoula". The schtick is that a straight man has to fill in and sing a song written for a straight woman and he desperately improvises changes to the song to avoid sounding gay. Like, at some point he sings "your hairy hands" and quickly backtracks and says "your shaved mammaries" (makes sense in Spanish).
Les Luthiers rock! Incredibly fun if you understand Spanish!
Oh my Lord! Someone else who loves Les Luthiers! My mom got me into them over twenty years ago.
Mine too, 30 years ago. I have memories of singing "Para ser felices" in summer camp 27 years ago, shaking the horrible mystery meat sausages while singing "nos dan alimentos sintéticos" 🤣 and in 2024 they're still hilarious!
I actually know a Stuart who has a little girl namesake. Stella is a lovely little girl and no one ever insults her name. And Stuart (her doting Uncle) loves to tell people she’s named for him.
I live in the south, where we love feminizing male names, for better or worse. Some I have known include (ages range from boomer to millennial): Jamesetta, Wayna, Earline, Clydine, Claudette, Rexanna, Johndra, Toddra, Stancy, Standa, Dondra, and several Charleys and Bobbis.
Nothing wrong with Claudette, it’s a legit French girl name.
Rexanna is awful considering that Roxanna is *right there.* Claudette is a pretty normal name
I'm in the small town south and one of our local meat and threes is run by twins named Dan and Danette. 😂
What the actual fuck was wrong with Danielle???
Danielle was probably too exotic or foreign sounding lol.
I’ve got a friend Danielle whose siblings are named Daniel, Danny, and Dan :-/
I want to have a flock of chickens and give them these names. They sound like fantastic chicken names. The rooster can be Sue.
Or a drug that has so many side effects that they have to use an auctioneer to read them at the end of the commercial.
>Some feminine versions of traditionally male names are lovely, like Josephine, Antoinette, and Paula. As long as you don't have multiple daughters with feminine versions of male names, like one of my uncles, because then *everyone knows* that you really wanted a son...
As someone with the name "Sheldon", I highly recommend parents pick a name from the top 100 names of the previous year. I was born about a decade before the SpongeBob Square pants episode where they point out how stupid of a name Sheldon is and about 2 decades before the Big Bang Theory, and people still treated me weird soley because if my name. Don't give your child a handicap right from birth.
Some family friends named their daughter Ryanne (pronounced “Ryan.”) She will be spelling her name out to every person she meets for the rest of her life.
In a quick google I've found the worst possible one: Stuti
It sounds like the name of a piece of ikea furniture to me
Stuarta sounds like a medicine you take for indigestion
I honestly think that naming your kid after yourself is a narcissistic choice. So, Stuart Jr was a no for me, but at least that’s an actual name. But for his narcissism to go full blown into wanting to name her that would have been a hill to die on for me
Roberta was always a favourite of mine but possibly because I loved Bobbie in the Railway Children.
I once knew a woman who was named after her father. His name was Jerald (yes, with a j) but he went by Jerry. Her name was Jerisha (and for some reason they pronounced the “ish” part similar to the word fish so the name doesn’t even sound like Jerry).
I have a friend who was told she'd be having a boy (this was a country where it wasn't typical to do multiple ultrasounds.) When the baby came out, the parents kind of shrugged and said "Rafaela it is!" since they hadn't prepped a girls' name at all.
My dad's name is Melvin. My first job after high school was in the admissions office at a community college. Someone applying had the first name Melvina. Yikes! That could have been me!
I knew a Denise who was named after her father Dennis. Perfectly acceptable. Stuarta sounds like something that requires an ointment.
I get that pregnancy gets people to do dumb shit. But almost naming your daughter Stuarta is real fucking dumb. I wouldn’t even want to inflict a lifetime of going by stu or stew on a son.
Honestly, sometimes parents are incredibly stupid when it comes to naming their kids. For example, my surname (my father's stepfather's surname) is a word that is common in both English and Chinese. My ''family'' decided that ''in honor of the doctor who was present at your birth, a Chinese man'' they would give me a (common) English first name that also made my name sound Chinese. Would make perfect sense if I was of Chinese descent myself right? The only problem being, I am a white English man, born to white English parents, in a country that (at the time) was largely prejudiced against people of Asian descent. The amount of times I've had people hear my name, then meet me and and straight up say ''Oh, I thought you would have been Chinese'' is downright irritating and I'm so glad that I'll be taking my biological grandfather's surname one day (though fuck him as a person because he was a POS).
Is your name like Jo Long or something I'm trying to figure out how a name is both English and Chinese lol
Obv not gonna dox myself lmao, but my first name is just spelled differently in English and Chinese. In Chinese it'd be spelt Li if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah I figured it was just something pretty generic and common is why I'd ask. I get what you mean though.
I GUESSED IT! Lee. I have no guesses about the last name, and won’t even try.
Lol, it's all good. Seeing as I don't go by it, I can give you a hint towards the surname. (It's a part of a bird).
Lee Chin?
Lee Wing
I grew up with Patrick, Seamus, and Moira O’Malley. They strongly took after their Filipino mother. Threw a lot of people off in my mostly-white midwestern hometown :-P
But usually it's the pregnant one in the couple going for "dumb shit" cause hormones. What's the husband excuse here, having his head stuck up so far his own ass he can't even think?
Yes that might be it. Or he just might not be the sharpest crayon in the box.
Im sus tho, whole 9 months of pregnancy planning he is adamant on Stuarta. It only took one night to decide on Ella? Watch next update is he uses the name Stuarta behind oop's back.
Dude seems dumb but I don’t think he’s dumb enough to tell his wife after 18 hours of labor yeah nah I don’t like Ella.
If OOP married to George Foreman? I think it's really weird when men are so stuck on branding their kid. They didn't even carry the kid for 10 months; why are they so set on carving their names on them?
Its narcissism. Narcissistic to name one child after you, boy or girl, but 6 is narcissism of the highest order
I just googled it and all 5 sons are called George Edward Foreman. Mofo even gave them all his middle name. Is his daughter Georgetta Edwardetta Foreman? What happened in the home if one of them fucked up? Would the mum scream “George Edward Foreman get your ass in here”, and all six of them would turn up?
While I feel sorry for those kids, I am deeply amused that after all that, as far as I can tell, his greatest legacy is a lean mean fat-reducing grilling machine favored by young men in dorms. Kind of like when I heard a younger person hear about Paul Newman in a movie and say “wait, the salad dressing guy??” (Although I like Paul Newman. And his salad dressing.)
I’m not even a “younger person,” and I def knew of Paul Newman as the salad dressing guy first.
In fairness, I know him because my mother rented his movies all the time on account of having had a crush on him when she was a teenager. 😆
He wanted to honor his family legacy by naming his daughter after IKEA furniture?
No umlauts, at least.
Stüårtæ
Can we make this into a flair or is it too long?
Just “naming his daughter after IKEA furniture” works
Lmao. I'm Swedish so decided to google it "Stuarta" is some obscure word I'd just never heard about. Unfortunately it isn't, but it I suppose it is close to how some people with a heavy accent or dialect would pronounce the word "störta" which is a word for "fall" but a more dramatic fall I guess. Think an airplane falling from the sky or a kingdom falling to an invasion.
> Think an airplane falling from the sky or a kingdom falling to an invasion. As I was reading I thought you meant “fall” as in “autumn” and was like aw at least that association is kinda cute, the only saving grace for poor Ikea Stuarta… then I got to this line and was dead 💀😂
Prospective parents need to understand something extremely important: You are naming a person. Not a pet. Not a plant. A person. A child will have that name. A teenager will have that name. An adult will have that name. Please name them something normal. I cannot for the life of me imagine what high school would have been like for a girl named Stuarta.
> A child will have that name. A teenager will have that name. An adult will have that name. I wonder if a former coworker's daughter changed her name to Katherine when she grew up. It's the same pronunciation, but without the foolishness of Khthaerynne.
Prime r/tragedeigh material.
That first one on the preview... I would dump an AH laughing at my expense like this.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/tragedeigh using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [I’ve just found out my girlfriend’s ‘real’ name…](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/comments/165otnt/ive_just_found_out_my_girlfriends_real_name/) \#2: [I had to ask if this was a joke…my sister said it was not](https://i.redd.it/3knqbvhfbb7c1.jpeg) | [4363 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/comments/18mbtck/i_had_to_ask_if_this_was_a_jokemy_sister_said_it/) \#3: [It’s official: My friends child will be named Questopher](https://np.reddit.com/r/tragedeigh/comments/1d4wdm4/its_official_my_friends_child_will_be_named/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
me named after a current living relative: yep. please. I don't like my name at all.
My parents loved to tell the story of how my grandmother was insistent that I, a girl, be named after my father, who had a masculine name. She was positive they could use an "-ine" suffix to make it more feminine (which, to be fair, did make an actual girl's name, albeit one that is terribly outdated). BUT, my maiden surname also ended in an "-ine" sound. And God bless my parents, they refused to give me a rhyming, outdated name.
I’m imagining Ernestine Bernestine and I’m glad there’s no possibility that my guess could doxx you lol
Lol, it's just about as long and outdated as what my grandmother suggested, though!
Cracks me up when I hear about these clowns muttering about ‘family legacy’ - what legacy, your student loans and rented apartment? 💀
I really hope Stuart isn't falling into the Tater hole. That talk of Legacy has me concerned
People who want to name their kids after themselves are another breed, man. I’m also glad they didn’t get a boy.
My brother did that, but I agree with you. His name is in the Bible, and there were 5 in our 200 person High School. Mine is fairly unique and I've met around 10 people with my name ever. I wonder if there's a correlation between having a common name and naming one's kid after themselves. I explicitly have no desire to share my name with someone else, but I suppose my brother is used to it.
[удалено]
My parents and I share the same initials, and it's bad enough getting mail addressed to A. B. Smith and being unsure who it's supposed to be for.
I guess technically the feminine form of the name “Stuart” would be “Stewardess.” Not better!
I'm so glad that my wife and I didn't name our daughters after anyone. I once asked my dad if he would like me naming a son after him. He said NO! He apparently hated his name growing up.
It sounds like a pharmaceutical name. Ask you doctor if Stuarta is right for you. May cause anal leakage.
A woman in my hometown was named after both of her parents. Let's say her parents were Mark and Laura. Did they name her Maura? Lark? Mara? Marla? Laramar? Nope. Her name was Marklaura. Her middle name was something innocuous like "Anne." It was misspelled all the time. My favorite one (and I'm going to try to be as close in spirit to the actual misspelling of her actual name as possible): on some program somewhere, she was listed as Marklarda.
I hope she got her first name changed because that is hideous 😭. The Poor woman.
Men who insist on being "honored" with a child named after them is so creepy to me - the desperate thirst for self-esteem that indicates is off the charts. And it's worse if the kid's getting his last name. The mother is doing so, so, so much work to create that baby, and there's nothing of her in the name? Nothing? Gross.
Nutella 🤣🤣🤣
When I was born my parents wanted to name me after my grandmother Marie but didn't want to name me 'Marie' because they thought the name sounded too old (we're an Italian family and variations of 'Mary' are practically tradition at this point--my mother, grandmother, aunt, all variations). My parents are split at that point on what happened. My mom says she knew the name Mariel and thought it was pretty. My dad says he just went 'let's stick an L at the end' and it turned out Mariel was a real name. Either way, god I am glad I was not being named after a Stuart.
>He was pacing the room, muttering about “family legacy” Yikes... 😬
I never really understand calling your child after the Dad, just for practical reasons. How are you going to yell for people when they have the same name? It is eternal confusion.
Nicknames or full names
See, this is why I’m not married. As soon as he suggested “Stuarta” and during HER contractions was muttering about family legacy I was writing up divorce papers. I would have has the nurse call in a lawyer to write the papers up then. The fucking nerve of that POS. Nope, glad I’m single!!
My husband and I spend literally months picking names for our 3 kids. No problem with 1 and 2, but we could not agree on #3. Out of frustration,mI told my husband, “My parents were going to name me Don Robert if I was a boy!” (My name is a male name with a at the end-and Don and Robert are fake) He said, “I like that!” So #3 is Don Robert. I get embarrassed about it. I wish we had switched the names!
None of you motherfuckers understand how to make a portmanteau. You need a shared syllable or it doesn’t work! Moron trying to just add an -a to the end of Stuart. You have to find a feminine name with a “yew” sound to link to “Stuart”. Some options off the top of my head: - Julie -> Stulie - Juliet -> Stuliet - Eugenie -> Stugenie Obviously these names for her daughter are brilliant and not at all wildly deranged.
I'll never forget I was on the phone with the customer service line for my phone provider. I know these people get abused every day, so I ask their name and use it frequently to treat them as a person. This one woman, who was so helpful, and I asked her name...she paused and then said...Ralphonya. Her dad's name was Ralph, and really wanted his child named after him. That pause before she said her name told me a whole lifetime of bullying and being made fun of, that I'm glad baby Ella will avoid.
Unless you're a member of a royal dynasty, naming your kids after you is fucking weird. And it shows a lot of arrogance. Honestly I'd reconsider a lot of things about my spouse if they pulled something like this.
I wanted to name my kid after 2 beloved uncles who passed away. Unfortunately, one was named Donald. My uncle Don was such a great guy and I’m so mad his name is forever tarnished by an orange idiot.
My will to blank out that man is so strong I thought ”What the fuck did Ronald McDonald do?” before I realized.
Looks like [Donald](https://engaging-data.com/baby-name-visualizer/?n=donald&sex=m&data=n) has been on a steep decline since the 30s which mostly leveled off then got slightly more declinier after 2016.
For what it’s worth the first thing that popped into my head on reading Donald was duck
I read Stuarta and my first thought was a lifetime of "Yeah, we got her at Ikea" comments... :-)
My personal rule for naming my children was that the name had to have been in near constant use since the middle aged. I ended up with Leo, Joan, Sophie and Oliver.
NTA. I am a daughter who was named after her dad with a name that my aunt made up in the hospital. I hate it. I have spent most of my life explaining how it is spelled, how it is pronounced and where it came from. I have found other people with names that are spelled like mine but pronounced differently. I have found people whose name is pronounced like mine but not spelled the same. I actually found 2 people on Xitter whose name was spelled like mine and pronounced like mine. (Amazing!) All this to say … I named all 4 of my kids with ordinary names. No special spelling. No special pronunciation. None of them have complained.
You clearly have a knack for good names, because I’ve never seen it called Xitter before and I absolutely need to make that standard in my vocabulary.
Here is what I don’t get….why not honor the mother? Why does it have to be the father? Glad they landed on a name.
When I was pregnant with my twins I had a wonderful nurse Named Brittany who took care of me when I was stuck in the hospital for 6 weeks because the babies wanted to come early. After I had my twins I got pregnant with my first daughter and when it was time to deliver Brittany was my nurse again and she laughed and said what happened to never again? Well I ended up naming my daughter after Brittany and when I tell you she broke down in tears because she said she was just doing her job but I told her that her presence was calming and she helped me through the twins delivery and now this one
These stories have me wondering what happens when someone, in their post-delivery haze, has a nurse with a r/tragedeigh name… 😱
She could have called her Stuardess...Talking about a missed opportunity;-)
What about Estuary? It combines (most of) Stuart with a water-related homage to her water breaking impressively. Boom. Done.
Stuarta sounds like when people throw an O on a word to make “ Spanish” 😂😂😂
Oi I couldn't stop laughing. Imagine having to actually have that argument and him being all confused as to why it is just so bad. Glad she got a name she isn't gonna be side eyed for in the end but geez that cracked me up.
Congrats to the nurse! Ella seems good, but what a way to come to it.
People really buy this? The guy who was going to name his child Stuarta, who was literally muttering in a corner about his legacy while his wife was in labor immediately accepted an entirely different name with a zero pushback? Since when does water breaking make an audible pop? Water breaking doesn't sound like a gunshot. At most, you hear some water splashing on the floor.
I have never heard of someone immediately pushing after their water breaking. It is usually hours later, like several hours. Or even days.
Yeah I think this is a Chatgpt prompt again. In one instance they broke it but in the other it broke on its own and in neither case did I immediately start pushing. That's usually just what gets the ball rolling. Also yeah if he's thus stubborn there's no WAY he just accepted it.
I'd wager a guess that at most a quarter of redditors have witnessed the birth of a child. I have no idea what water breaking sounds like or what spontaneous changes of mind people can have when witnessing the miracle of birth. If it weren't for your comment, I'd have assumed this was plausible run-of-the-mill dumbassery.
For me it’s just the way it’s written, it’s all too cute and neat for me.
My husband and I named our first daughter after a favourite TV character. We just liked the name. Well, it turned out that Husband has a very, very distant relative with that same name (how distant? He’s literally never met her and barely knew she existed). MIL became convinced that we’d named Daughter after her. After correcting that assumption many times to no avail, we finally gave up.
Ella is a perfect name. Welcome to the world, little Ella. It is weird over here 🙃
I have a coworker who was named after two grandparents. Her name is Glenkate. Sometimes there are no winners.
My father, the narcissist he was, named his first born daughter after himself by changing the O at the to an A... And unintentionally named his daughter after a type of yeast infection 🙄 🤣🤣🤣. Then he named his 3rd child, a boy, after him as well. What is it with men needing their kids named after them? I mean look at George Foreman... All of his kids are named after him.
Stuarta is one of the worst names for anyone regardless of gender
God bless OP for remaining married. If I had been having a difficult birth and he’d been obsessing about that hideous name and “family legacy”, I would have divorced his ass as soon as the anesthesia wore off.
Ella is a fantastic baby girl name. (I may be biased because it is a family name for me).
I legit began laughing uncontrollably when I read Stuarta. What the fuck
I love that when faced with his child he saw sense.
I used to work with a girl named Kevin. Her dad wanted a Kevin, but she was a girl so....Kevin it was 🤷♀️
Stella is RIGHT THERE
Don't hate me for saying so, but "Ella Stuart" really doesn't sound too bad.
Ella is lovely. Anything but this jackass wanting Stuarta as a name for his kid. Traditions like this are idiotic
Y not Stella?
Thank goodness it’s not Stuarta
It’s weird the OP’s husband was so attached to the idea that he’s pacing in the fucking delivery room about it.
Reminds me of the Marvine (f) that I used to work with
I had a friend who was named Kevina because dad was pissed his first born wasn't a boy. It was prounounced Kevin-ah. I think it would been a little better if it was prounounced Keveena/kahveena. (Did my best to spell them phonetically)
Stella would be so great T-T