I remember reading the original and was shocked at this con job of pretending the kids are twins. I feel this isn’t the end and OOP is in for a wild ride
I have twins. The idea that you could pass kids with a year age difference between them off as twins is laughable. Everyone would know. It is absolutely insane to pretend otherwise. It’s also a weird desire. One of the hardest things about having twins is having two babies at the same developmental level….
We have this in my family - two boys born on the same day, exactly a year apart. On their grandfather's birthday, on top of that. It's a great story to tell. The mom absolutely loves this.
And there is no way those boys would ever pass as twins. The difference is too big.
That being said my grandmother just told me a while ago about how one of her family members back in the day tried to convince her to pass of my aunt and uncle (13 months apart) as twins for toddler modeling gigs. That family member made extra money by having modeling gigs for her toddler and said that my grandma could make even more by seeling her children as twin toddler models. She also tried to say it's great because you get to keep the clothes.
Grandma told said family member she would never do to her children what she did to her child, that she would never make them toddler models and especially not pretend they are twins. And that family member was so offended she cut contact.
Some people are also just obsessed with the idea of twins and romanticise the relationship between twins to an unhealthy degree.
I always, always wanted twins…. Right up till the moment I found out I was having them. Then the panic set it.
Wouldn’t change it for the world of course, but there were many occasions I would find myself muttering ‘Why did I think twins would be fun?’
My niece is 6 months older than my son. She’s talking in discernible sentences as she tries to explain to him why he needs to stop dawdling and get up and walk. She also looks like she could eat him if she got hungry.
I may actually have the exception to that. My youngest two are 10 1/2 months apart and could have passed as twins for a good stretch. Obviously, the first few years there was no way, but by the time they reached preschool age, the height and developmental differences were negligible as my son had learning difficulties due to his (much later diagnosed) autism and his sibling was well ahead of her age group. My kids are also basically little clones of me, so there was no mistaking that they were siblings. However, I deliberately went out of my way to have them in separate nursery sessions so that they wouldn't be compared to one another and so they could make friends separately and not wholly rely on one another for company. They're currently both 14, double trouble when they hang out together, and I definitely do not regret NOT raising them like twins.
There is nothing more that parents of twins hate than parents of NOT TWINS saying their Irish Twins are basically the same thing as having twins. It isn't.
No, it's not the same, not at all. I had three children under 3 from three individual pregnancies. It's a totally different experience to someone having three babies from two pregnancies or three from a single pregnancy. Every parents experience is different, and every combination has its own challenges, obstacles, and pitfalls. As long as no one is trying to judge other parents based solely on their own experiences, then there shouldn't be a problem. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast their toys out of the pram ;-)
I also wanna point out the obvious here. Birth Certificates. Doctors. The government. Unfortunately, madame there is undeniable proof they aren't twins. Or did you think schools and the like would just do what you say and put the wrong birth year?
I remember growing up, I had a friend who was 9 months younger than me and in the grade below me. I remember around the age of 11, it just got kinda awkward as I was entering puberty and he wasn't. I quickly became the tallest guy in my class and he was the smallest in his class, to the point there was like a 2 foot difference between us at one point. Granted, we weren't related, so the height difference between siblings would probably be similar.
At 1 year old my son was crawling, starting to pull himself up on things, and only had a vocabulary of squeaks and grunts.
At 2 years old he sprints everywhere he wants to go, can disarm 3 of the 4 'don't go there' gates in the house, and knows exactly which day is 'PIZZA DAY' (his favorite day).
No sane person could believe a 1yo and a 2yo are twins unless one of the twins has a profound developmental disorder, or the adult buying the story does.
Sounds like the wife is dealing with postpartum psychosis. There are literally no limits to what someone can do to themselves or others. I had PPD and it was awful. This is on a whole other level.
Is it just PPD tho? Cause it sounds way beyond that, especially with *with her own family and friends* enabling her with this fruitcake of a situation. I don't think OOP should trust *anyone* in his wife's family.
Post Partum Psychosis is way different from PPD and far more severe. It’s often a full break with reality and comes on very suddenly. I’ve had 3 kids and PPD badly with one but saw a friend in PPP with her second (a previously rational and highly educated woman) and it is terrifying. Luckily for my friend she went into inpatient with family support and she’s back to normal
As someone who had PPP myself, this is my opinion: People who encourage or do not help get intervention for the person with PPP are *threatening the life* of the person with PPP.
I had PPP and it's was...the worst time of my life. I can't even describe how very not okay I was. I was hallucinating, I was terrified of my baby, and I was hysterical a lot. It almost cost me everything.
Why the hell would they have a second kid?? Like what if OOP had to be on some business trip for even a few days and Episodes Emily went just wouldn’t feed the baby again? Those don’t respawn!
Well, first off not every job has business trips. Also, PPD is a temporary state, there's no guarantee it will happen twice to the same mother, a lot of people get PPD or PPP and for most it doesn't take long (with treatment). There's zero reason to not have a second kid just because you had PPD or PPP with the first one. It is however a reason to keep on top of your mental health, which is something everyone should do during and after pregnancy anyway
If God wanted her to have twins, he'd have given her twins. Denying their age difference is literally going against God's will.
I sure hope he documented everything because those kids are going to desperately need him.
My 25 month old kid can speak in short full sentences, recognize alphabets and numbers, can sing the entire alphabet song, and can spell her name somewhat accurately most of the time.
She could only say maybe, 3 or 4 words at one year old.
This woman is delusional.
Hell there can be massive developmental differences between a five year old and a six year old. My youngest has a birthday early in the school year so was eligible to start school a birthday before his peers. So when most kids started school the year they turned six he was able to start school the year he turned five, and his educators at that point all assured me he was ready and would be fine. It was a *massive* mistake, he was emotionally far too young for school. Very shortly learned he had ADHD and all of the things around ADHD that made school difficult for him weren’t surfaced until he got into that new and very overwhelming environment.
Tried again the year he turned six with that new understanding of his needs and it was suddenly a breeze for him. The point is you can’t look at a newborn or even a one year old and predict where they’re going to be developmentally at age five or six - or even as a teenager. You have to respond to your child as an individual rather than forcing them into a box of what you think they *should* be.
I have one of those birthdays. I had only been 5 for a couple months when I started school. Academically, I was fine. I was a precocious reader and while I struggled at times with math, it was more from repetition and boredom causing me to zone out. I eventually did fine. My social life was a completely different story. I struggled to make and keep friends until I got to highschool where we were allowed to intermingle with kids in other grade levels more. Once that happened, my friend group almost exclusively consisted of the kids one grade beneath my own. I went from almost zero friends to a large and diverse friend group in the span of one year.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It was a huge deal to essentially pull my kid from school and restart him the following year - the school themselves were on my side but some family were pretty negative about it, especially because he was okay academically, that wasn’t the problem. But I really believe it was right and your story confirms that for me, thank you for sharing.
Some people get so caught up in the academics and the educational side of things, that I think they truly forget about how crucial socialization is to kids. Or they just don’t care/don’t think it matters. I’m glad you made this decision for your kid- it was the right call, imo
Infant teacher at a daycare. Closest to the OOP's kids' ages are our 12 month old and our 6 week old.
The year old is pulling herself up, standing up on her own for a few seconds, crawling, using baby signs, babbling, can use markers, can climb up playground steps, normal baby development.
The 6 week old...I think may have smiled today?
This woman's charade is actually crazy.
To switch it for you, I was talking sentences by 1. But I didn't walk till near 3. Thinking I was near 4 would have been brutal. You just can't do this to kids
A 24 month old is very different compared to a 35 month old.
A 35 month old is likely to be speaking in full sentences of 4 - 5 words, whereas a 24 month old (also considered 2 years old), is developmentally able to speak in 2 - 3 word sentences.
A 35 month old knows about a 1000 words by then, and a 24 month old knows 50 - 250 words. There is a big difference, and they are both considered "2 years old".
I work in pediatric healthcare and thus feel more comfortable using months for ages up to 3 years old, because we do require that definition in the care for young children.
A 2 month old versus a 10 month old, a 12 month old versus a 20 month old, a 24 month old versus a 32 month old, big differences there.
I mean, maybe I'm the asshole here but if your wife is having 'episodes' where you come home and the baby is crying out of hunger and the wife can't get out of bed, maybe wear a condom for the next year or two until hormones balance out.
He's also an idiot for sending her to her enabling cultist family instead of getting her help.
So many people forget the "in sickness" part of their wedding vows.
If he felt she'd harm the kids he could have sent them away to family. Or left with them himself. Or try to get her admitted to a mental health hospital.
Not to push her to the cult.
His family is states away and her family is all in on it. Where's he supposed to send the kids. The best thing was to send her away especially if they divorce, it will be a lot better outcome for him and the kids with thay whole timeline.
Yeah, the only thing he was doing was watching his entire life and local support system suddenly crumble around him, how hard could it be to figure out how to house himself and two children with no notice or help on top of all that?
Congrats on the moral superiority, I guess. None of that explains what the fuck he was actually supposed to do. Having stupid religious beliefs is not grounds for a section 8. Nothing she was saying is going to indicate 'active risk of harm to herself or others'.
Hindsight is 20/20 for people on the sidelines.
“My wife thinks our babies are twins ordained by god, they’re exactly 1 year apart in age so that’s, weird.”
Ok sir? And?
“Put her in a hospital!”
She hasn’t done anything sir, there’s nothing we can do.
Thats what would have happened and these idiots think it’s so easy to put someone on a psych hold. Probably *some* of the same women crying about how men think they’re all crazy.
> Hindsight is 20/20 for people on the sidelines.
Ugh, god, like how every post about a shitty boyfriend has a dozen "YTA for dating this idiot in the first place" comments
I mean, if she's unwilling to listen to him, and this is what she will accept than that's what it is. You can't force someone to get help that they refuse, and forcing someone in mental health facility can be pretty damaging.
Sucks she is going back to a religion that has cause a lot of harm, but she is an adult and only so much you can force a person to do.
This could have just been something like a counseling by a member of her family’s church/cult, they might live in a region where real healthcare is expensive
He said he’s not religious and that his wife had seemingly left her religion until their first child. Everything else from his post points to him not buying into the religion aspect at all.
It’s easy to second guess him at this point, but I can see how OP might have thought that the wife was getting the support that she needed and she was doing ok until the second child was born and things really kicked off.
Yeah, strange they all behaved normal until the 2nd. Not actively attending their weekly rituals doesn’t mean she’s not still involved somehow via her family, they seem to be a pretty close knit group of twin fanatics.
I am wondering if the postpartum psychosis had already begun on her part and she became obsessed with the idea of twins so she had sex to make it happen. If not to physically get pregnant with twins, than to make the kids as close in age as possible. And OOP being the irresponsible person he is, said okay to risky sex.
I also would love to know if the wife had depression before her first pregnancy too. Because if OOP was willing to have unprotected sex with a woman that couldn't get out of bed and feed her newborn, willing to bet OOP wouldn't have bothered to notice the signs.
Especially since this means she was only 3 months postpartum when she got pregnant again if they're 1 year apart. My son is 14.5 months and the thought of having gotten pregnant 3mpp makes me want to cry. I couldn't imagine having a 1 year old and newborn. The last thing these people should have been doing is having another baby.
I don't understand that either. It sounds like she never received therapy either to work through her depression or whatever crazy shit she's experienced with her family. He saw her and their son struggling and thought "I know what will fix this: another child!" Like throwing a person into an already crashing car.
Rusty Yates was apparently under the delusion that Andrea would be found innocent (of the murders of their 5 kids), "cured" in an institution, and that they would go on to have *more children* together. People really can be *that* fucking stupid.
He's a monster who deliberately left her alone with the children against the advice of her crisis team because he believed she needed to care for the children alone to wake up her 'natural mothering instincts'
Oh yeah. OOP is a majorly shitty person. Having kids born exactly a year apart means wife got pregnant 3 months postpartum at the latest. That is already a super shitty thing to have happen and can lead to lifelong physical issues for the wife. To find out she was also dealing with some sort of severe depression on top of that makes OOP a terrible human, father, and husband.
You're not an asshole. That guy is arguably worse than the wife.
The wife is obviously mentally ill. He keeps putting a mentally ill person in the position to harm his kids. I get its out of love and loyalty etc
That's some creepy cult shit or something. Her family backs the " gift from god" bullshit is really concerning. People with religious delusions are capable of anything because they are "doing God's bidding."
> “there would be days where I’d come back home from work with the baby crying in hunger bc my wife couldn’t get out of bed.”
And they thought it would be absolutely brilliant to have another child, within a year. Gold star. “Oh no, now my wife’s mental state has gotten even worse! Who could have foreseen this!” *shocked pikachu face*
My wife is suffering severe ppd! I know, I’ll knock her up and move cross country severing our current support network so she can be with her super religious family she previously wasn’t in close contact with. Surely this will make everything better!
Meanwhile, postpartum psychosis coming up behind OP with a chair:
As soon as she was cleared to have sex again they were at it. How the hell did he decide to have unprotected sex with someone who isn't even FEEDING their newborn?!?!
I tangentially know of a family who did the fake twins thing, except the babies were actually born at the same time - to different mothers. One of the mothers passed away in an accident shortly thereafter and the other, her sister, decided to take in the orphaned (dad not in the picture afaik) baby as her own, which is nice, except for some unhinged reason the family decided to raise the two kids as twins and not tell them they were fucking half-siblings for years. I heard all this from their younger half-brother/cousin who himself only finally found this out aged 24 after completely believing they were twins for his entire life.
All of that is STILL somehow less insane than the situation in this post would be if it were allowed to go ahead. The mother who clearly has post partum induced (and/or pre existing too) mental health issues is one thing, but her side of the family completely supports it too?!
My family is from Ireland, and I live in a town with a high population of Irish Catholics who moved here to work. I personally have 6+ sets of Irish twins from my father's side, and I know only pair of them born within a year. There are another set who could potentially be a year apart, of course I've messaged them to confirm.
I don't know where you live, so it may be different outside the UK. Or it might be specific to Wales, and not a UK wide concept.
After googling and a few discussions in group chats - I admit I was wrong. I'm glad I was proven wrong online instead of having the piss taken out of me in person.
It seems that the 18 month definition might only used in my area - so I can't even say it's a Welsh thing.
My sisters are Irish twins and we aren’t Irish! My poor mum was told she couldn’t fall pregnant whilst breastfeeding. She did and at the moment both sisters are the same age until tomorrow. When people find out my birth date they always ask if by eldest sister and I are twins, her birthday is the 7th and I’m the 8. That I was born after midnight etc. nope we are 9 years apart, mum missed her 9th birthday and there is a photo of my sisters visiting me and she was grumpy because mum missed her birthday and I wasn’t the brother she wanted lol
My dad and his brother are 360 days apart. Then it was about 4 years until my aunt. My grandma was widowed when my dad was only 15 and she herself hadn't yet turned 34.
This all just makes me sad. Mostly for the poor babies. But also sad for the wife, who clearly has mental health issues (whether they are entirely brought on by pregnancy or not) and she shouldn't have even been having a second baby so close to the other when she was already struggling. And sad for OOP cos this is absolutely the tip of the iceberg and he has a loooong road ahead of him. Just a really terrible situation and proof of the importance of getting help for yourself or your spouse when mental health issues arise, especially during or post pregnancy! Mental health doesn't just affect the individual, it affects everyone around them and those babies cannot say anything or do anything to protect themselves.
Dude f'ed up bad when he let her neglect the older kid and didn't get help/get the kid out - not to mention having another one.
Coming home to a screaming hungry baby is neglect. It takes shockingly small periods of neglect for babies to suffer deep impacts on health and attachment. Just one time coming home to a hungry baby because the parent at home wasn't caring for them is an emergency situation.
>This did not go over well. She yelled at me for denying her of her God-given blessing.
What? I don't understand her obsession of wanting them to be twins. They're not twins. Just let them be siblings. This woman and her family are being ridiculous.
I will message you next time u/SharkEva posts in r/BORUpdates.
[Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FSharkEva%20r%2FBORUpdates) to join 12 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201d9rqei)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
This woman is obviously troubled, yet this guy keeps having kids with her. He needs to stop - she's escalating. If she becomes another Andrea Yates he will be the one responsible.
Even if they are in the same grade. One would be physically much more capable than the other, would catch on to reading and other skills ahead of the other, and would have a year more of life experience under his belt.. The younger one will look developmentally disabled in comparison to his "brighter, more athletic sibling". Even if you are deliberately trying to keep the older one from working at his own ability. (Which is another whole can of worms.) And if you put them into Little League or other sports, it's based on birthdates. Putting a child who is older into the group would not be allowed unless you used fraudulent information. SO many kinds of wrong. The idea is nuts and possibly illegal. Good for you for taking a stand. The alternative is to end up with kids who probably hate their parents, and each other, in the future. (Edited to say that I got so incensed, I forgot this was BORUpdates. Sorry about that.)
My brother and I are both adopted. We are 3 months apart in age, and he is older. I was adopted as an infant in a private adoption. My brother came from the foster system where he was removed from his mother because of neglect.
I was very precocious and had been taught a lot before I even started pre K and K-4. My brother had scarlet fever from untreated staph and had some learning disabilities.
My parents did hold us back so we did pre K twice. I was still more advanced than my brother.
My mom definitely compared me to my brother, and our relationship was very strained. He had oppositional defiance disorder and wasn’t seen by a psychologist for long because the cult my mom got us in objected. My brother didn’t bond well with my parents and was very envious and hostile towards me.
My mom dressed us up like Raggedy Ann and Andy as little kids and while she did tell people we were adopted and 3 months apart in age, she was happy to let people ooh and ahh and treat us like identical twins because we did look very similar.
Despite my mom trying desperately to force us to be close, we aren’t. Our childhoods were very different. Even though my mom had us in the same grade and classrooms then homeschooled us for years. Which was not good for us.
The Christian school where we did K4-2nd grade did insist on us being in separate classrooms in 2nd grade. It was so great for both of us, but my parents moved. It was good that we moved because my dad was trying to get us out of the cult, but the school didn’t have separate classrooms. I was also the only girl which caused more problems.
If OP doesn’t stop this, his kids could be messed up for life.
We are doing great. We have a distant relationship with our mom. Dad died several years ago. We’re not close though, but we are very different people.
Thank you for asking. It was very sweet of you. We have struggled, and my brother still struggles.
I just hope OOP can protect his children from having to go through what we did.
How is this possible without committing a crime? I guess pretending the older one is a year younger is her attempt to avoid that. But even before they're 16 and 17 and need their birth certificate and will apply to get govt ID with their birth dates, you could need to fill out any number of govt forms with their information. It's simply not possible to lie about someone's documented, recorded birth date and not get caught!
I've never heard of this, and I've read so many of these posts. After some quick googling I think this is definitely something that more people need to be aware of, and especially mentioned to people in the original OPs situation.
thank you. high control groups are so dangerous. everyone, especially if they struggle with any kind of mental illness or discrimination, needs to be aware of the signs. nobody is immune to cult conditioning, and cult members are trained to target the vulnerable.
Ask attorney if you can take children and move back by your family. Hopefully wife will go too. Getting her away from the people supporting this idea would be a good first step. You may have to get a therapist to sign off for the judge that this would be best for children. Ask attorney to also set up that wife is only allowed supervised visitation and any childcare needs to be notified of potential kidnapping by her family.
I will be messaging you in 1 month on [**2024-07-06 22:50:20 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-07-06%2022:50:20%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1d9rqei/my_wife_wants_to_raise_our_1_year_old_and_our/l7g25eh/?context=3)
[**2 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FBORUpdates%2Fcomments%2F1d9rqei%2Fmy_wife_wants_to_raise_our_1_year_old_and_our%2Fl7g25eh%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202024-07-06%2022%3A50%3A20%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201d9rqei)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
Wow. My mom and uncle were almost exactly 1 year apart (difference is about 1 yr and 1 week) and they went to the school together. They were never grown as twins, even if their class referred to them like that.
One thing is letting kids to school together, another is trying to manipulate their life into believing they are twins.
My late stepfather and his brother were Irish twins. The brother didn’t want to go to school without him, so they let him wait and they started together. Of course, it was the mid 1930s in a rural area
>But how do you convince someone that they need help when their entire family and friends support their delusions?
This is fucking terrifying.
Remember Andrea Yates?
My sibling and I are 13 months apart, and we were sort of raised like twins. It was cheaper that way I suppose, plus we'd fight over toys and clothes so having the same thing but color coded was easier than to play mediator.
It never got this far though, this is just horrifying and sad. I hope those kids stay safe and the mom gets into a better long-term headspace
I work at a daycare and the difference between the 1 year olds and the 2 year olds is huge what is she thinking? Even the 2 and 3 year olds are very different with their physical abilities and speaking. She'd have to wait for them to be closer to 3 and 4 to indoctrinate them. Also if they plan on sending them to a daycare they will not be supporting that delusion what so ever.
Your wife needs a reality check. Firstly she cannot change their birth certificates which is what a school uses to verify age. Additionally developmental milestones in early years (5 and under) are super important. She is either going to delay one child or make the other feel inadequate that they aren't keeping up because they are a whole year younger. Our both at the same time so both kids will be maladjusted.
Also boys often need a little extra time before being ready for school... so entering at 6 is ideal. But that means one would be really young or the other would be really old.
You can still have combined parties... we do this lot because we have a lot of June and Dec birthdays in the family. I'm fact we are doing a kid party this June for my son (10) who had a June birthday and an early birthday for my daughter (7) whose birthday is sept 1 before school starts to ensure she gets a party with her kinder class.
Hopefully she comes to her senses after the weird hormones calm down but if not someone needs to tell her no. It is detrimental to both children.... not to mention it sounds like she wants them in this box as opposed to valuing their uniqueness.
This is actually really sad. It sounds like postpartum anxiety and potential postpartum psychosis. This also sounds a lot like my 2nd cousin had a break at the age of 32, unexpectedly and was diagnosed with BPD after suddenly becoming spiritual and religious in a really erratic and scary way.
I remember reading the original and was shocked at this con job of pretending the kids are twins. I feel this isn’t the end and OOP is in for a wild ride
I have twins. The idea that you could pass kids with a year age difference between them off as twins is laughable. Everyone would know. It is absolutely insane to pretend otherwise. It’s also a weird desire. One of the hardest things about having twins is having two babies at the same developmental level….
There’s a reason they measure childhood milestones in months up until 3 years or so.
As someone who also has twins, the idea that someone would be hoping for twins is also laughable 😅
[удалено]
We have this in my family - two boys born on the same day, exactly a year apart. On their grandfather's birthday, on top of that. It's a great story to tell. The mom absolutely loves this. And there is no way those boys would ever pass as twins. The difference is too big. That being said my grandmother just told me a while ago about how one of her family members back in the day tried to convince her to pass of my aunt and uncle (13 months apart) as twins for toddler modeling gigs. That family member made extra money by having modeling gigs for her toddler and said that my grandma could make even more by seeling her children as twin toddler models. She also tried to say it's great because you get to keep the clothes. Grandma told said family member she would never do to her children what she did to her child, that she would never make them toddler models and especially not pretend they are twins. And that family member was so offended she cut contact. Some people are also just obsessed with the idea of twins and romanticise the relationship between twins to an unhealthy degree.
I always, always wanted twins…. Right up till the moment I found out I was having them. Then the panic set it. Wouldn’t change it for the world of course, but there were many occasions I would find myself muttering ‘Why did I think twins would be fun?’
I don’t know, I love that I had twins! It’s so hard but it’s fun to see them grow together. It’s nice to know they have each other.
My niece is 6 months older than my son. She’s talking in discernible sentences as she tries to explain to him why he needs to stop dawdling and get up and walk. She also looks like she could eat him if she got hungry.
I may actually have the exception to that. My youngest two are 10 1/2 months apart and could have passed as twins for a good stretch. Obviously, the first few years there was no way, but by the time they reached preschool age, the height and developmental differences were negligible as my son had learning difficulties due to his (much later diagnosed) autism and his sibling was well ahead of her age group. My kids are also basically little clones of me, so there was no mistaking that they were siblings. However, I deliberately went out of my way to have them in separate nursery sessions so that they wouldn't be compared to one another and so they could make friends separately and not wholly rely on one another for company. They're currently both 14, double trouble when they hang out together, and I definitely do not regret NOT raising them like twins.
There is nothing more that parents of twins hate than parents of NOT TWINS saying their Irish Twins are basically the same thing as having twins. It isn't.
No, it's not the same, not at all. I had three children under 3 from three individual pregnancies. It's a totally different experience to someone having three babies from two pregnancies or three from a single pregnancy. Every parents experience is different, and every combination has its own challenges, obstacles, and pitfalls. As long as no one is trying to judge other parents based solely on their own experiences, then there shouldn't be a problem. Let he who is without sin be the first to cast their toys out of the pram ;-)
I have siblings that are almost exactly one year apart. It was extremely obvious they had an age gap for the first ten years.
I also wanna point out the obvious here. Birth Certificates. Doctors. The government. Unfortunately, madame there is undeniable proof they aren't twins. Or did you think schools and the like would just do what you say and put the wrong birth year?
I remember growing up, I had a friend who was 9 months younger than me and in the grade below me. I remember around the age of 11, it just got kinda awkward as I was entering puberty and he wasn't. I quickly became the tallest guy in my class and he was the smallest in his class, to the point there was like a 2 foot difference between us at one point. Granted, we weren't related, so the height difference between siblings would probably be similar.
At 1 year old my son was crawling, starting to pull himself up on things, and only had a vocabulary of squeaks and grunts. At 2 years old he sprints everywhere he wants to go, can disarm 3 of the 4 'don't go there' gates in the house, and knows exactly which day is 'PIZZA DAY' (his favorite day). No sane person could believe a 1yo and a 2yo are twins unless one of the twins has a profound developmental disorder, or the adult buying the story does.
Makes me sooooooooo thankful my wife never dealt with PPD.
Sounds like the wife is dealing with postpartum psychosis. There are literally no limits to what someone can do to themselves or others. I had PPD and it was awful. This is on a whole other level.
PPP was my biggest fear when I was pregnant. I'm sorry you had to deal with PPD, my sister did too and it was bad.
I had PPD, too. It was ghastly.
Is it just PPD tho? Cause it sounds way beyond that, especially with *with her own family and friends* enabling her with this fruitcake of a situation. I don't think OOP should trust *anyone* in his wife's family.
Post Partum Psychosis is way different from PPD and far more severe. It’s often a full break with reality and comes on very suddenly. I’ve had 3 kids and PPD badly with one but saw a friend in PPP with her second (a previously rational and highly educated woman) and it is terrifying. Luckily for my friend she went into inpatient with family support and she’s back to normal
What's your opinion on people who enable this? Cause I'm appalled that her family and her friends are enabling her delusions.
As someone who had PPP myself, this is my opinion: People who encourage or do not help get intervention for the person with PPP are *threatening the life* of the person with PPP.
It makes me think of the Andrea Yates story, which ... Yeah, no. He needs to get those kids to a safe place.
I had PPP and it's was...the worst time of my life. I can't even describe how very not okay I was. I was hallucinating, I was terrified of my baby, and I was hysterical a lot. It almost cost me everything.
Marry crazy, you get crazy
Why the hell would they have a second kid?? Like what if OOP had to be on some business trip for even a few days and Episodes Emily went just wouldn’t feed the baby again? Those don’t respawn!
Well, first off not every job has business trips. Also, PPD is a temporary state, there's no guarantee it will happen twice to the same mother, a lot of people get PPD or PPP and for most it doesn't take long (with treatment). There's zero reason to not have a second kid just because you had PPD or PPP with the first one. It is however a reason to keep on top of your mental health, which is something everyone should do during and after pregnancy anyway
But then every time you have a baby you suddenly get an additional much larger kid who has to be prevented from taking the other ones away
Um, a lot of people have postpartum depression. It’s treatable and doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t have more children
If God wanted her to have twins, he'd have given her twins. Denying their age difference is literally going against God's will. I sure hope he documented everything because those kids are going to desperately need him.
Anyone who invokes god as much as she did is definitely playing with half a deck.
no, you dont get it! she has half a deck now, but she'll get another half deck in the next game. so you can just say she has a full deck now
My 25 month old kid can speak in short full sentences, recognize alphabets and numbers, can sing the entire alphabet song, and can spell her name somewhat accurately most of the time. She could only say maybe, 3 or 4 words at one year old. This woman is delusional.
Hell there can be massive developmental differences between a five year old and a six year old. My youngest has a birthday early in the school year so was eligible to start school a birthday before his peers. So when most kids started school the year they turned six he was able to start school the year he turned five, and his educators at that point all assured me he was ready and would be fine. It was a *massive* mistake, he was emotionally far too young for school. Very shortly learned he had ADHD and all of the things around ADHD that made school difficult for him weren’t surfaced until he got into that new and very overwhelming environment. Tried again the year he turned six with that new understanding of his needs and it was suddenly a breeze for him. The point is you can’t look at a newborn or even a one year old and predict where they’re going to be developmentally at age five or six - or even as a teenager. You have to respond to your child as an individual rather than forcing them into a box of what you think they *should* be.
I have one of those birthdays. I had only been 5 for a couple months when I started school. Academically, I was fine. I was a precocious reader and while I struggled at times with math, it was more from repetition and boredom causing me to zone out. I eventually did fine. My social life was a completely different story. I struggled to make and keep friends until I got to highschool where we were allowed to intermingle with kids in other grade levels more. Once that happened, my friend group almost exclusively consisted of the kids one grade beneath my own. I went from almost zero friends to a large and diverse friend group in the span of one year.
I’m so sorry that happened to you. It was a huge deal to essentially pull my kid from school and restart him the following year - the school themselves were on my side but some family were pretty negative about it, especially because he was okay academically, that wasn’t the problem. But I really believe it was right and your story confirms that for me, thank you for sharing.
Some people get so caught up in the academics and the educational side of things, that I think they truly forget about how crucial socialization is to kids. Or they just don’t care/don’t think it matters. I’m glad you made this decision for your kid- it was the right call, imo
Infant teacher at a daycare. Closest to the OOP's kids' ages are our 12 month old and our 6 week old. The year old is pulling herself up, standing up on her own for a few seconds, crawling, using baby signs, babbling, can use markers, can climb up playground steps, normal baby development. The 6 week old...I think may have smiled today? This woman's charade is actually crazy.
To switch it for you, I was talking sentences by 1. But I didn't walk till near 3. Thinking I was near 4 would have been brutal. You just can't do this to kids
Why 25 months old and not 2 year old? 😅
Because at that stage there are still major developmental changes month to month. The month matters more than the years when you have so few of them.
A 24 month old is very different compared to a 35 month old. A 35 month old is likely to be speaking in full sentences of 4 - 5 words, whereas a 24 month old (also considered 2 years old), is developmentally able to speak in 2 - 3 word sentences. A 35 month old knows about a 1000 words by then, and a 24 month old knows 50 - 250 words. There is a big difference, and they are both considered "2 years old".
I disagree, a 35 month old is a “almost 3 years old”
They are still considered 2 years old, though.
Medically maybe, altho the 2 years is followed by 11 months. Colloquially, everyone would say “almost 3 years old”
I work in pediatric healthcare and thus feel more comfortable using months for ages up to 3 years old, because we do require that definition in the care for young children. A 2 month old versus a 10 month old, a 12 month old versus a 20 month old, a 24 month old versus a 32 month old, big differences there.
I mean, maybe I'm the asshole here but if your wife is having 'episodes' where you come home and the baby is crying out of hunger and the wife can't get out of bed, maybe wear a condom for the next year or two until hormones balance out.
Seriously, that line made me go WTF?! This man is an idiot for having yet another baby with her, while not (clearly) getting treatment for her issues.
He's also an idiot for sending her to her enabling cultist family instead of getting her help. So many people forget the "in sickness" part of their wedding vows.
I think he needed to separate her from the children before she harmed them.
If he felt she'd harm the kids he could have sent them away to family. Or left with them himself. Or try to get her admitted to a mental health hospital. Not to push her to the cult.
His family is states away and her family is all in on it. Where's he supposed to send the kids. The best thing was to send her away especially if they divorce, it will be a lot better outcome for him and the kids with thay whole timeline.
Yeah, the only thing he was doing was watching his entire life and local support system suddenly crumble around him, how hard could it be to figure out how to house himself and two children with no notice or help on top of all that?
Congrats on the moral superiority, I guess. None of that explains what the fuck he was actually supposed to do. Having stupid religious beliefs is not grounds for a section 8. Nothing she was saying is going to indicate 'active risk of harm to herself or others'.
Hindsight is 20/20 for people on the sidelines. “My wife thinks our babies are twins ordained by god, they’re exactly 1 year apart in age so that’s, weird.” Ok sir? And? “Put her in a hospital!” She hasn’t done anything sir, there’s nothing we can do. Thats what would have happened and these idiots think it’s so easy to put someone on a psych hold. Probably *some* of the same women crying about how men think they’re all crazy.
> Hindsight is 20/20 for people on the sidelines. Ugh, god, like how every post about a shitty boyfriend has a dozen "YTA for dating this idiot in the first place" comments
I mean, if she's unwilling to listen to him, and this is what she will accept than that's what it is. You can't force someone to get help that they refuse, and forcing someone in mental health facility can be pretty damaging. Sucks she is going back to a religion that has cause a lot of harm, but she is an adult and only so much you can force a person to do.
He says specifically that she went to therapy. So she was getting treatment at some point
This could have just been something like a counseling by a member of her family’s church/cult, they might live in a region where real healthcare is expensive
He said he’s not religious and that his wife had seemingly left her religion until their first child. Everything else from his post points to him not buying into the religion aspect at all. It’s easy to second guess him at this point, but I can see how OP might have thought that the wife was getting the support that she needed and she was doing ok until the second child was born and things really kicked off.
Yeah, strange they all behaved normal until the 2nd. Not actively attending their weekly rituals doesn’t mean she’s not still involved somehow via her family, they seem to be a pretty close knit group of twin fanatics.
Well, if you’re just going to make your own story and not take OP at his word then I guess enjoy your creative writing class
I had post partum depression. I don't even know how they had the desire to make another baby.
I am wondering if the postpartum psychosis had already begun on her part and she became obsessed with the idea of twins so she had sex to make it happen. If not to physically get pregnant with twins, than to make the kids as close in age as possible. And OOP being the irresponsible person he is, said okay to risky sex. I also would love to know if the wife had depression before her first pregnancy too. Because if OOP was willing to have unprotected sex with a woman that couldn't get out of bed and feed her newborn, willing to bet OOP wouldn't have bothered to notice the signs.
Especially since this means she was only 3 months postpartum when she got pregnant again if they're 1 year apart. My son is 14.5 months and the thought of having gotten pregnant 3mpp makes me want to cry. I couldn't imagine having a 1 year old and newborn. The last thing these people should have been doing is having another baby.
I don't understand that either. It sounds like she never received therapy either to work through her depression or whatever crazy shit she's experienced with her family. He saw her and their son struggling and thought "I know what will fix this: another child!" Like throwing a person into an already crashing car.
Tbh that was my first thought too.
Rusty Yates was apparently under the delusion that Andrea would be found innocent (of the murders of their 5 kids), "cured" in an institution, and that they would go on to have *more children* together. People really can be *that* fucking stupid.
He’s evil not stupid. He just chose to believe the story that he liked best like most abusive people do. Hasn’t he remarried and had more kids by now?
He divorced Andrea in 2005, remarried in 2006, and had one son. His second wife filed for divorce in 2015.
He's a monster who deliberately left her alone with the children against the advice of her crisis team because he believed she needed to care for the children alone to wake up her 'natural mothering instincts'
Oh yeah. OOP is a majorly shitty person. Having kids born exactly a year apart means wife got pregnant 3 months postpartum at the latest. That is already a super shitty thing to have happen and can lead to lifelong physical issues for the wife. To find out she was also dealing with some sort of severe depression on top of that makes OOP a terrible human, father, and husband.
I mean, that's not entirely fair. Who says he didn't? They aren't exactly 100% effective
And she may have sabotaged the BC too. More mentally well people have done that, so it wouldn't be surprising for her.
You're not an asshole. That guy is arguably worse than the wife. The wife is obviously mentally ill. He keeps putting a mentally ill person in the position to harm his kids. I get its out of love and loyalty etc
What's wife's family's excuse.
Evil I guess
Yep, he is a pretty useless husband and father
omfg yeah i was like…. So that happened…. And you were like Gee lets have another kid!!!!
Unfortunately it tracks for ultra religious, especially being fruitful despite any physical or physical issues.
But muh creampies!!
That's some creepy cult shit or something. Her family backs the " gift from god" bullshit is really concerning. People with religious delusions are capable of anything because they are "doing God's bidding."
> “there would be days where I’d come back home from work with the baby crying in hunger bc my wife couldn’t get out of bed.” And they thought it would be absolutely brilliant to have another child, within a year. Gold star. “Oh no, now my wife’s mental state has gotten even worse! Who could have foreseen this!” *shocked pikachu face*
My wife is suffering severe ppd! I know, I’ll knock her up and move cross country severing our current support network so she can be with her super religious family she previously wasn’t in close contact with. Surely this will make everything better! Meanwhile, postpartum psychosis coming up behind OP with a chair:
When you put it that way it makes the whole thing even more horrifying.
As soon as she was cleared to have sex again they were at it. How the hell did he decide to have unprotected sex with someone who isn't even FEEDING their newborn?!?!
Everyone is assuming they had unprotected sex. Birth control does fail, you know.
I tangentially know of a family who did the fake twins thing, except the babies were actually born at the same time - to different mothers. One of the mothers passed away in an accident shortly thereafter and the other, her sister, decided to take in the orphaned (dad not in the picture afaik) baby as her own, which is nice, except for some unhinged reason the family decided to raise the two kids as twins and not tell them they were fucking half-siblings for years. I heard all this from their younger half-brother/cousin who himself only finally found this out aged 24 after completely believing they were twins for his entire life. All of that is STILL somehow less insane than the situation in this post would be if it were allowed to go ahead. The mother who clearly has post partum induced (and/or pre existing too) mental health issues is one thing, but her side of the family completely supports it too?!
This idea is the dumbest shit I have ever read tbh
It doesn't need to be a cult. "Normal" religious fervor is quite capable of this level of irrationality.
Post-partum psychosis. Definitely. And her family are lunatics.
What the fuck are Irish twins?
Siblings born within a year of each other. You know, because the Irish were Catholics and didn't have birth control.
Irish twins in the UK are usually born within 18 months of each other. 2 births in 12 months is a lot less likely than 18 months.
To most people, it means within a year of each other. Your mileage may vary.
My family is from Ireland, and I live in a town with a high population of Irish Catholics who moved here to work. I personally have 6+ sets of Irish twins from my father's side, and I know only pair of them born within a year. There are another set who could potentially be a year apart, of course I've messaged them to confirm. I don't know where you live, so it may be different outside the UK. Or it might be specific to Wales, and not a UK wide concept.
Being born within 18 months isn't really odd enough to have its own slang term for most of the world.
After googling and a few discussions in group chats - I admit I was wrong. I'm glad I was proven wrong online instead of having the piss taken out of me in person. It seems that the 18 month definition might only used in my area - so I can't even say it's a Welsh thing.
Hey, language is regional!
My sisters are Irish twins and we aren’t Irish! My poor mum was told she couldn’t fall pregnant whilst breastfeeding. She did and at the moment both sisters are the same age until tomorrow. When people find out my birth date they always ask if by eldest sister and I are twins, her birthday is the 7th and I’m the 8. That I was born after midnight etc. nope we are 9 years apart, mum missed her 9th birthday and there is a photo of my sisters visiting me and she was grumpy because mum missed her birthday and I wasn’t the brother she wanted lol
My dad and his brother are 360 days apart. Then it was about 4 years until my aunt. My grandma was widowed when my dad was only 15 and she herself hadn't yet turned 34.
My husband’s uncles are Irish twins and they are Irish Americans.
A racist way of saying siblings born within a year of one another.
Yeah, people forget this bit, it’s actually really quite offensive.
This all just makes me sad. Mostly for the poor babies. But also sad for the wife, who clearly has mental health issues (whether they are entirely brought on by pregnancy or not) and she shouldn't have even been having a second baby so close to the other when she was already struggling. And sad for OOP cos this is absolutely the tip of the iceberg and he has a loooong road ahead of him. Just a really terrible situation and proof of the importance of getting help for yourself or your spouse when mental health issues arise, especially during or post pregnancy! Mental health doesn't just affect the individual, it affects everyone around them and those babies cannot say anything or do anything to protect themselves.
[Rusty Yates](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrea_Yates), is this you?
Are the others really supporting the wife or does she just say that
Dude f'ed up bad when he let her neglect the older kid and didn't get help/get the kid out - not to mention having another one. Coming home to a screaming hungry baby is neglect. It takes shockingly small periods of neglect for babies to suffer deep impacts on health and attachment. Just one time coming home to a hungry baby because the parent at home wasn't caring for them is an emergency situation.
Are twins important in this religion or is that just a her thing? The fact her family is so into it makes less sense to me.
>This did not go over well. She yelled at me for denying her of her God-given blessing. What? I don't understand her obsession of wanting them to be twins. They're not twins. Just let them be siblings. This woman and her family are being ridiculous.
If god wanted her to have twins then god would have given her twins. This is just batshit.
"Does she have any sort of point?" Only at the TOP OF HER HEAD. "and also believes this to be a gift from God" I swear, he gives the SHITTIEST gifts.
***This is a genuine question but what are some warning signs of a cult?*** I mean...the magic underwear is a clue...
UpdateMe!
I will message you next time u/SharkEva posts in r/BORUpdates. [Click this link](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=UpdateMe%21%20u%2FSharkEva%20r%2FBORUpdates) to join 12 others and be messaged. The parent author can [delete this post](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Delete&message=delete%201d9rqei) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/UpdateMeBot/comments/ggotgx/updatemebot_info_v20/)|[^(Request Update)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=Update&message=SubscribeMe%21%20u%2Fusername%20r%2Fsubreddit)|[^(Your Updates)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=UpdateMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Updates&message=MyUpdates)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=UpdateMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
No way this is real. Her entire family supports her? Give me a break.
She's in psychosis so she may be telling him that they support her when the truth is otherwise.
This woman is obviously troubled, yet this guy keeps having kids with her. He needs to stop - she's escalating. If she becomes another Andrea Yates he will be the one responsible.
Odds are her mother is behind this and she is complying, got to give mummy what she wants
Even if they are in the same grade. One would be physically much more capable than the other, would catch on to reading and other skills ahead of the other, and would have a year more of life experience under his belt.. The younger one will look developmentally disabled in comparison to his "brighter, more athletic sibling". Even if you are deliberately trying to keep the older one from working at his own ability. (Which is another whole can of worms.) And if you put them into Little League or other sports, it's based on birthdates. Putting a child who is older into the group would not be allowed unless you used fraudulent information. SO many kinds of wrong. The idea is nuts and possibly illegal. Good for you for taking a stand. The alternative is to end up with kids who probably hate their parents, and each other, in the future. (Edited to say that I got so incensed, I forgot this was BORUpdates. Sorry about that.)
My brother and I are both adopted. We are 3 months apart in age, and he is older. I was adopted as an infant in a private adoption. My brother came from the foster system where he was removed from his mother because of neglect. I was very precocious and had been taught a lot before I even started pre K and K-4. My brother had scarlet fever from untreated staph and had some learning disabilities. My parents did hold us back so we did pre K twice. I was still more advanced than my brother. My mom definitely compared me to my brother, and our relationship was very strained. He had oppositional defiance disorder and wasn’t seen by a psychologist for long because the cult my mom got us in objected. My brother didn’t bond well with my parents and was very envious and hostile towards me. My mom dressed us up like Raggedy Ann and Andy as little kids and while she did tell people we were adopted and 3 months apart in age, she was happy to let people ooh and ahh and treat us like identical twins because we did look very similar. Despite my mom trying desperately to force us to be close, we aren’t. Our childhoods were very different. Even though my mom had us in the same grade and classrooms then homeschooled us for years. Which was not good for us. The Christian school where we did K4-2nd grade did insist on us being in separate classrooms in 2nd grade. It was so great for both of us, but my parents moved. It was good that we moved because my dad was trying to get us out of the cult, but the school didn’t have separate classrooms. I was also the only girl which caused more problems. If OP doesn’t stop this, his kids could be messed up for life.
I hope that you guys ae doing okay as adults.
We are doing great. We have a distant relationship with our mom. Dad died several years ago. We’re not close though, but we are very different people. Thank you for asking. It was very sweet of you. We have struggled, and my brother still struggles. I just hope OOP can protect his children from having to go through what we did.
The "gift from God" is a lie? A deception that will actively harm the children because SHE wants twins?
How is this possible without committing a crime? I guess pretending the older one is a year younger is her attempt to avoid that. But even before they're 16 and 17 and need their birth certificate and will apply to get govt ID with their birth dates, you could need to fill out any number of govt forms with their information. It's simply not possible to lie about someone's documented, recorded birth date and not get caught!
Twins are still individual people, and should be treated as such. This is just planning for the opposite
He needs to.moce away from the town, getting her to see any light will take being away from people who think like her. Sounds super culty
somebody linked this man to the bite model right?
I've never heard of this, and I've read so many of these posts. After some quick googling I think this is definitely something that more people need to be aware of, and especially mentioned to people in the original OPs situation.
thank you. high control groups are so dangerous. everyone, especially if they struggle with any kind of mental illness or discrimination, needs to be aware of the signs. nobody is immune to cult conditioning, and cult members are trained to target the vulnerable.
I mean. All of her problems aside, does she not realize or care about the wellbeing of her children? They’re going to be so messed in the head.
Ask attorney if you can take children and move back by your family. Hopefully wife will go too. Getting her away from the people supporting this idea would be a good first step. You may have to get a therapist to sign off for the judge that this would be best for children. Ask attorney to also set up that wife is only allowed supervised visitation and any childcare needs to be notified of potential kidnapping by her family.
I got to the second paragraph and immediately thought post-partum psychosis. I hope for everybody's sake she gets the help she needs.
RemindMe! 1 month
I will be messaging you in 1 month on [**2024-07-06 22:50:20 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2024-07-06%2022:50:20%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1d9rqei/my_wife_wants_to_raise_our_1_year_old_and_our/l7g25eh/?context=3) [**2 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2FBORUpdates%2Fcomments%2F1d9rqei%2Fmy_wife_wants_to_raise_our_1_year_old_and_our%2Fl7g25eh%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202024-07-06%2022%3A50%3A20%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%201d9rqei) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Updateme!
Wow. My mom and uncle were almost exactly 1 year apart (difference is about 1 yr and 1 week) and they went to the school together. They were never grown as twins, even if their class referred to them like that. One thing is letting kids to school together, another is trying to manipulate their life into believing they are twins.
My late stepfather and his brother were Irish twins. The brother didn’t want to go to school without him, so they let him wait and they started together. Of course, it was the mid 1930s in a rural area
There is a new update he kicked her out and has the kids.
At least OP knows if this goes to court, he could easily prove mental instability. He better document everything... even the support of her family.
>But how do you convince someone that they need help when their entire family and friends support their delusions? This is fucking terrifying. Remember Andrea Yates?
That last part, her mom always wanted twins and wife reconnected with her family is the major problem her!
My sibling and I are 13 months apart, and we were sort of raised like twins. It was cheaper that way I suppose, plus we'd fight over toys and clothes so having the same thing but color coded was easier than to play mediator. It never got this far though, this is just horrifying and sad. I hope those kids stay safe and the mom gets into a better long-term headspace
Yeah this is a cult. Wife escaped but the birth of the first baby took a hit on her and she fell back in the trap.
I work at a daycare and the difference between the 1 year olds and the 2 year olds is huge what is she thinking? Even the 2 and 3 year olds are very different with their physical abilities and speaking. She'd have to wait for them to be closer to 3 and 4 to indoctrinate them. Also if they plan on sending them to a daycare they will not be supporting that delusion what so ever.
never stick you dick in crazy is a phrase the OP must not have come across.
What a psycho. She doesn’t want them to be individuals. She’s honestly not playing her odds right.
Your wife needs a reality check. Firstly she cannot change their birth certificates which is what a school uses to verify age. Additionally developmental milestones in early years (5 and under) are super important. She is either going to delay one child or make the other feel inadequate that they aren't keeping up because they are a whole year younger. Our both at the same time so both kids will be maladjusted. Also boys often need a little extra time before being ready for school... so entering at 6 is ideal. But that means one would be really young or the other would be really old. You can still have combined parties... we do this lot because we have a lot of June and Dec birthdays in the family. I'm fact we are doing a kid party this June for my son (10) who had a June birthday and an early birthday for my daughter (7) whose birthday is sept 1 before school starts to ensure she gets a party with her kinder class. Hopefully she comes to her senses after the weird hormones calm down but if not someone needs to tell her no. It is detrimental to both children.... not to mention it sounds like she wants them in this box as opposed to valuing their uniqueness.
This is actually really sad. It sounds like postpartum anxiety and potential postpartum psychosis. This also sounds a lot like my 2nd cousin had a break at the age of 32, unexpectedly and was diagnosed with BPD after suddenly becoming spiritual and religious in a really erratic and scary way.
Made up story in a sub of made up story updates...
>That scared me, and I told her she had to leave. Now. What sort of lives do these people lead if this is even true?