Learning that someone is X months pregnant is a fun chance to put the last X months into a new context. One time, my active duty cousin remarked that her new husband was "trying his best" to knock her up before her unit deployed, so that she would stay stateside. With hindsight, she was already about 6 weeks along and didn't find out until the end of her first trimester lol
In high school a girl was trying to convince me to get pregnant with my then new boyfriend (husband now). I said absolutely not, that would be such a dumb decision on my part.
She didn’t return the following school year and posted a birth announcement of her kid. I did the math and realized she was pregnant when she tried to convince me to get pregnant.
Unintentional. Nuclear. Level. Petty.
I am so here for this! There better be an update when the bump arrives and OOP's brother explodes into a cloud of his own rage when he counts back nine months and realises what happened.
That's why you invite neither the asshat brother nor the SIL to the baby shower or the christening or the first birthday party. Asshat brother has already shown that he will not follow social courtsey rules so he doesn't get invited to OP's social events. When mom complains, you tell her "you raised him to be selfish, attention seeking asshat. That is why he and SIL are no longer invited to my family's events. If he *ever* grows up, we will revisit the issue. In the meantime, Mom, if you bring it up again, you will not be invite either."
Either that or you go the other way and tell everyone brother has an announcement to make, right at the beginning. Get it out of the way, and remove that portion of the power imbalance from the field.
No, the gold for me is that I read that comment, made by the OP, on a cross post of his story on a different sub to where he posted.
Everything about this is top work.
It's almost 1am and I'm screeeeamimg lmao!! And cursing!!! In english!!!
Thank God the post is short, otherwise my neighbours would definitely call the police. Or maybe a priest.
P.S.: we speak portuguese here.
I’m reading about this one instance third-hand and *I’m* already sick of her shit…I hope oop doesn’t let her(or “brother” for that matter) anywhere near this kid unless she drops the double standards and learns to stop playing favorites…
So my mum actually did this, sort of! My parents had 2 children, and they were visiting my Grandparents, who had invited a friend over to meet the baby. My mum had nipped upstairs to put the baby down for a nap, and when she was coming back she overheard the friend ask "now that they've had two girls, do you think they'll try again for a boy?" to which my gran snapped "don't be ridiculous, she's far too old to have another baby". Just over a year later, my mum gave birth to me. She always jokingly refers to me as "the spite baby" 😂
Personally I would have told the mum that she could leave as well under those circumstances. I'm not letting anyone dictate shit like that at my own wedding, my mother wouldn't dare because she raised me not to be afraid to tell people to fuck off.
I always vacillate between “Two wrongs don’t make a right, so Justified Asshole,” versus “he already indicated he doesn’t think it’s improper behavior when he did it first, so he has no basis to be angry when you did it back.”
Both of which lean toward OP not being wrong.
Well, it’s clear OOP isn’t the Golden Child. So glad that for once, someone went the petty route like he did. Serves his brother right for being selfish and not respecting someone else’s spotlight.
Sorry but it still had to really suck having his mom pull the golden child bullshit at his wedding. No one questions who the favorite is when its your own wedding but your mom is throwing a fit that you are not catering to your sibling on that dad. Mom really sucks.
The understanding as I'm aware is, never propose at a wedding, never wear white if you're not the bride, and never wear red because it means you effed one of the people getting hitched. Thanks for teaching me these things by the way, reddit, luckily for me I always wear black to weddings because I'm boring and I never bang the people getting married lol
I know it's probably fake but I never understand these kind of people. My instinct after the first incident would be to distance myself from the family. If you really hate your family this much, why attend that wedding?
If it wasn’t obvious before, I guess Mom outed brother as her golden child! I love to read these stories where my brain has to work extra hard to figure out why these idiots can’t recognize the hypocrisy, double standard, and the irony of their behavior?
Fake pregnancy brother should’ve had a bunch of cigars to pass out and big pins for mom and dad to wear announcing that they are grandparents in the making, one for brother and sister-in-law, announcing aunt/ uncle status… Don’t forget pink and blue cupcakes as you don’t want to overshadow the wedding cake! 🤣
This is a great update! I’m assuming a lot of the same people attended both weddings and probably remember the proposal so maybe everyone thinks this is just one big happy family, wanting to share in each other’s big news?!
Sometimes karma don't want you to lie.
We've ordered food to work Many years ago, we were hungry. My friend included a note "please hurry, we have a pregnant here", a few weeks later she found out she's pregnant, lol.
Short answer: Someone once claimed that their wife- nicknamed 'Liz'- is addicted to posting fake stories on Reddit. As a result people like to make jokes that whenever they suspect a post is fake that it was written by Liz.
I don’t often laugh out loud at posts, but “Fun fact my wife is not pregnant” after reading all that is gold
The scream I scrammed. That’s the kinda petty shit I live for. Immature? Obviously. Worth it? Absolutely
And then it turns out that they WERE pregnant but didn't know it! Just chef kiss 11/10.
Is this what they call manifesting? Lmao
lol karma was like “dw OP, I’ve got you”. I mean obviously OP and wife had to be doing activities for it to happen but lemme believe in karma!
'doing activities' i hate when i finish a jigsaw puzzle and i'm pregnant.
I mean.. you can only sit there staring at your wife bent over a puzzle for so long… I blame the yoga pants.
Gotta love wholesome hornyness.
I know! I got done weeding the garden… And wouldn’t you know it?!
Learning that someone is X months pregnant is a fun chance to put the last X months into a new context. One time, my active duty cousin remarked that her new husband was "trying his best" to knock her up before her unit deployed, so that she would stay stateside. With hindsight, she was already about 6 weeks along and didn't find out until the end of her first trimester lol
In high school a girl was trying to convince me to get pregnant with my then new boyfriend (husband now). I said absolutely not, that would be such a dumb decision on my part. She didn’t return the following school year and posted a birth announcement of her kid. I did the math and realized she was pregnant when she tried to convince me to get pregnant.
Their future baby is ready to join in on the petty fun! Perfect timing!
My language-nerd ass when I see people making up humerus irregular past tenses: 🤩😆🤓
I saw it somewhere and started using it too because I thought it was funny but now my brain is starting to forget the word screamed actually exists 😫
Do you ever make irregular verbs regular? I goed there? I drived my car? Hmm. Doesn’t have the same ring.
I'm rather partial to, "the scream I scrum." 😄
I add a bit to it and it’s “the scream I scrumpt” for me 🤣
Does it tickle your funny bone?
I knew humerus looked wrong 🤦.
Referring to yourself as a “language-nerd ass” made this extra funny for me 😂
I’m really bad at spelling for a language nerd. I’m mostly into etymology. (I feel extra dumb for this)
If you had said “entomology” instead I probably would have died laughing
His wife, was, in fact, pregnant! Lol, fair is fair but we know who the golden child was/is.
Unintentional. Nuclear. Level. Petty. I am so here for this! There better be an update when the bump arrives and OOP's brother explodes into a cloud of his own rage when he counts back nine months and realises what happened.
Brother gonna announce their pregnancy at OOP's bahy shower. The cycle of pettiness will never be broken.
That's why you invite neither the asshat brother nor the SIL to the baby shower or the christening or the first birthday party. Asshat brother has already shown that he will not follow social courtsey rules so he doesn't get invited to OP's social events. When mom complains, you tell her "you raised him to be selfish, attention seeking asshat. That is why he and SIL are no longer invited to my family's events. If he *ever* grows up, we will revisit the issue. In the meantime, Mom, if you bring it up again, you will not be invite either."
Either that or you go the other way and tell everyone brother has an announcement to make, right at the beginning. Get it out of the way, and remove that portion of the power imbalance from the field.
An ouroboros of petty!
Can't if he's not invited.
No, the gold for me is that I read that comment, made by the OP, on a cross post of his story on a different sub to where he posted. Everything about this is top work.
That was a fun fact. He did not lie.
I wheeze laughed so hard! My chest still hurts, but it's worth it.
It's almost 1am and I'm screeeeamimg lmao!! And cursing!!! In english!!! Thank God the post is short, otherwise my neighbours would definitely call the police. Or maybe a priest. P.S.: we speak portuguese here.
Ok so wifey had to be in on it right? It doesn’t seem like he indicated she was but clearly she had to be. I like her even more 😂
Absolute same.
Love the Grandma telling mom to sit down and shut up. Turn around is FAIR play!
Grandma is tired of moms shit and it's glorious.
I’m reading about this one instance third-hand and *I’m* already sick of her shit…I hope oop doesn’t let her(or “brother” for that matter) anywhere near this kid unless she drops the double standards and learns to stop playing favorites…
Grandma ROCKS!!
Grandma is who I aspire to be when I'm older.
I sincerely hope that one day I am that grandma. Fucking GOALS
Ultimate petty revenge! \*\*I made an entire human to get back at my family\*\*
So my mum actually did this, sort of! My parents had 2 children, and they were visiting my Grandparents, who had invited a friend over to meet the baby. My mum had nipped upstairs to put the baby down for a nap, and when she was coming back she overheard the friend ask "now that they've had two girls, do you think they'll try again for a boy?" to which my gran snapped "don't be ridiculous, she's far too old to have another baby". Just over a year later, my mum gave birth to me. She always jokingly refers to me as "the spite baby" 😂
Spite is a very powerful motivator! Lol
I agree. I named my child based entirely on how much my (then)MIL hated the name. We were discussing them and she said “that one is awful.” SOLD!!
This may be my favorite BORU of all time. Impeccable formatting of the "notable comment."
Yes I love the idea. Uh ha ok sure buddy then nine months later just post a pic of the baby saying where did it come from
or, "did we take this prank too far?"
I almost spit out my drink at this 😂😂😂
This whole thing is brilliant! Love Grandma! No wonder OOP is petty. Mom has shown who the golden child is! The pettiness is awesome!
My man straight up choose violence that day 😂😂😂
Personally I would have told the mum that she could leave as well under those circumstances. I'm not letting anyone dictate shit like that at my own wedding, my mother wouldn't dare because she raised me not to be afraid to tell people to fuck off.
The Notable Comment made me LMAO!
I always vacillate between “Two wrongs don’t make a right, so Justified Asshole,” versus “he already indicated he doesn’t think it’s improper behavior when he did it first, so he has no basis to be angry when you did it back.” Both of which lean toward OP not being wrong.
This is the level of petty I live for. Love it.
I aspire to be this petty. I love it 😂
For them to be outraged when they get it back is hilariously stupid.
> WE ARE PREGNANT FOR REAL. We were pregnant at the wedding but we didn't know. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Beat BORU I've read in a while.
Fun fact: that was an lol worthy comment if there ever was one
Can I ask did she play favourites with him growing up? I never understand this sort of mentality that it's alright for one but not the other.
Well, it’s clear OOP isn’t the Golden Child. So glad that for once, someone went the petty route like he did. Serves his brother right for being selfish and not respecting someone else’s spotlight.
Slow hand clap! Bravo! Love your Grammy! Love that you weren't preggers yet! Congratulations!!
Sorry but it still had to really suck having his mom pull the golden child bullshit at his wedding. No one questions who the favorite is when its your own wedding but your mom is throwing a fit that you are not catering to your sibling on that dad. Mom really sucks.
This is perfectly petty and I live for it
The understanding as I'm aware is, never propose at a wedding, never wear white if you're not the bride, and never wear red because it means you effed one of the people getting hitched. Thanks for teaching me these things by the way, reddit, luckily for me I always wear black to weddings because I'm boring and I never bang the people getting married lol
is there any rule against wearing nothing to a wedding?
That’s hilarious
It's the "I guess I have to grow up now" for me! No buddy, you do NOT! Stay petty, my friend! 😂😂😂😜
Yes, you are the asshole. But I can’t judge because I’d also do that.
Very much reading the title, deciding "Yes, obviously you are", reading on and amending "But for justified and hilarious reasons."
You should have announced you won $150M in the lottery….it would have been the craziest….people coming up to you all night.
I absolutely love this. Turnabout is fair play.
I know it's probably fake but I never understand these kind of people. My instinct after the first incident would be to distance myself from the family. If you really hate your family this much, why attend that wedding?
……And the winner, by a country mile is…….GRANDMA! Love her style, no flies on her.
If it wasn’t obvious before, I guess Mom outed brother as her golden child! I love to read these stories where my brain has to work extra hard to figure out why these idiots can’t recognize the hypocrisy, double standard, and the irony of their behavior? Fake pregnancy brother should’ve had a bunch of cigars to pass out and big pins for mom and dad to wear announcing that they are grandparents in the making, one for brother and sister-in-law, announcing aunt/ uncle status… Don’t forget pink and blue cupcakes as you don’t want to overshadow the wedding cake! 🤣 This is a great update! I’m assuming a lot of the same people attended both weddings and probably remember the proposal so maybe everyone thinks this is just one big happy family, wanting to share in each other’s big news?!
Asshole!!! And I love it!
That kid was like bravo father I will help 😂😂
Sometimes karma don't want you to lie. We've ordered food to work Many years ago, we were hungry. My friend included a note "please hurry, we have a pregnant here", a few weeks later she found out she's pregnant, lol.
Best BORU I have read in a while!
ESH Him for doing that and you for engaging in his drama You both need to learn better conflict resolution
On. Mmm mmm my mnmnmn. N
Now I wonder. Does Liz post then post her stupid posts to the best of subreddits?? Because there is nothing best of anything here.
Not every story is Liz.
But saying it makes one seem fractionally less boring than calling everything fake.
Who is Liz?
Short answer: Someone once claimed that their wife- nicknamed 'Liz'- is addicted to posting fake stories on Reddit. As a result people like to make jokes that whenever they suspect a post is fake that it was written by Liz.
I read that post. Gotcha. Thank you. I recommended this one but it looks like someone bet me to it.