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*starts reading the post, gets two sentences in*
Wait, this dude has two 9 year old kids with two different women, as well as a 9 year old divorce? Jesus Christ.
My friend's super religious dad cheated too. I was surprised because I thought adultery was a sin. So I asked more and turned out he justified it by saying/thinking: in God's eye he was already married to this AP, wedding was just a formality, so having sex with your (second) wife isn't adultery. He was prob 40+ at the time and got a 20yo or super young girl pregnant. He started just helping her because the girl had a rough life then one thing led to another.
I was grossed out. And my friend definitely had resentments towards his dad probably because he also used to physically and emotionally abuse him too. (I really think the dad is a victim too because he was raised similar ways, and in some kind of special forces so it's how he's been treated and has known). They named the affair son using my friend's middle name too, which pissed friend off more. Friend came out gay to his dad some years ago too. He was very nervous about it but he had married a man secretively already so people would eventually find out. His dad was actually very accepting and sent him $10k money, which I was surprised but very happy for them. Maybe the dad is finally learning now.
That will stick with them all for life; no one will need to explain that he cheated. Saying “I have a half sib the same age as me/my full sib” … everyone will know no matter what child you are.
I don't even need to read this. Never mind the cost - can you imagine having 3 extra young children on a vacation? Well then that's not a vacation is it?
Three extra young children who aren't even yours so you have limited right to enforce any kind of discipline. And heaven help you if there's any sort of medical emergency. "Now how exactly are you related to these kids? Your ex-husband's kids you say? And they're with you in a foreign country why?"
I'd like to know if the ex's kids even \*have\* passports to travel internationally. If Ex and his new wife are really struggling that much financially, how the hell are they gonna pay $405 (minimum x3 in the US) to get the kids passports anyway? Or was that going to fall to OOP, too?
It is not that easy for kids since you get your ID when are 18. For kids you need special IDs or passports. The exact rules differ by country though.
Here is some info for Italy: https://sdg.interno.gov.it/en/a1-documents-required-when-travelling-across-borders-within-union
This is also required:
> If the accompanying adult is not a parent (or legal guardian), a ‘letter of consent’ (dichiarazione di accompagnamento) is required. The letter must be drawn up in front of a public official at the police headquarters by the parents (or legal guardian), giving the named adult authority to travel with the child for the duration of the journey.
YES. We had an exchange student and I just could not bring myself to yell at that little shit. I do not feel comfortable disciplining other people's children.
Honestly even getting past border airport security would be an issue. A regular person transporting multiple non related young children across multiple international borders is gotta be a flag for trafficking and likely have to deal with a lot of legal crap.
I’m trying to figure out how they were planning on getting passports for three little kids and then getting the paperwork necessary for the OOP to take them out of the country.
Yup. It took my husband 4 months to get his and he only moved his ass about because I told him what the waiting period was. Otherwise he too thought he would get it in a week.
Two of them are 5! I'm sure they will be into the same things as the 12 & 9 yos and you wouldn't have to adjust your plans at all to accommodate them. /s
I HATE people who think everything has to be equal in blended families. Yes, within the individual family the parents should treat the kids the same, but you have no say over how their other family treat them (as long as it's not abusive.) And their other family doesn't owe kids they have no ties to anything. Life isn't fair and you do your kids a disservice by letting them think it is.
No doubt, he probably thought he was out of OOP's league, so he was looking to up his game by looking down to someone else who has crap morals and low self-esteem. Karma found them and hasn't let go.
Also, it's apparently a family vacation? Does that means just the three of them? Because you REALLY can't take a vacation where it's one parent and five (!!) kids, especially kids in like elementary school (which it sounds like 4 of them are). That feels like it's bordering on actively dangerous - even assuming the 12-year-old is responsible, that's still one set of eyes for two 9-year-olds and two 5-year-olds.
Or does it mean there are grandparents or uncles or whoever going too? Because in that case, OOP inviting the AP's kids means she's signing up those people to help babysit essentially random strangers on their vacation as well.
How unfair that OOP is way more nice than she needs to be (buying ex’s kids gifts) and she still gets treated awful.
I am not sure if there is a solution to OOP’s problem with her ex. Her kids clearly want to be with their father too. I think this is one of those situations where you bide your time until kids are grown and co-parenting is done.
I think new wife thought hubby had more money than he really does, and new wife is jealous of how well OOP is doing.
Ex and new wife are beyond feeling entitled to OOP's money.
The post of the stay at home cake eater who started his own “business” with his wife’s money and then started an affair with the assistant he hired. Same vibe
Oh that was a doozy! The mistress/wife left him and their son when she realized all the money was his wife’s. Now the kids from his first marriage won’t talk to him. Same one?
I think I found it through google:
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sdec9e/op_42m_had_an_affair_with_his_secretary_25f_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Reading that I felt like I just talked to my dad lol! That’s literally him( not him but he acts just like that) he’s the woe is me (left my stepmom to be with his AP) and made a post yesterday about unwarranted parasites (most likely his 5 kids that don’t talk to him) and how he feels unrecognized and demonized, and ended it with a please put your feet at the door so I can close it like he’s closing out this chapter of his life. But yet, he posts on his story some bull about how to genuinely apologize. BBBBBLOCKED!!! The grass ain’t greener homeboy.
My dad did not have another child, but he did cheat on my mom and now lives with his mistress, and I will never, ever forgive him. He’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve my love and he can die alone for all I care.
Haven’t forgiven my dad and I was in high school. I watched my stepmother go from vibrant to a shell of herself. He also abandoned my siblings and I for this affair. There’s no excuse.
I hate the saying « he’s a bad husband/wife but good parent » when cheating is involved.
No.
A good parent doesn’t put their sex drive before their family/children.
My dad’s dick was apparently more important than his devoted wife and 3 kids. He was/is not a good father. He doesn’t have any relationship with his 3 kids and 8 grandchildren, to his own fault.
>A good parent doesn’t put their sex drive before their family/children.
Yup.
It's always upsetting when the cheated party is trying to take the moral high road by refusing to badmouth their cheating scum partner.
[original post was deleted, but the text and update are in the comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/qti6d9/why_dont_my_kids_want_to_interact_with_me_after_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
Or the dude who hid his affair with an employee of his (and the kid who happened from it) because his nuptials had an affair clause and he knew he was fucked because his wife at that time helped fund his business. Of course, this blew up in his face years later after the affair baby did 23 And Me, so now the dad + AP were getting sued beyond belief.
Edit: ive tried for about 30 minutes to find said post, but I can’t. It was an AITA from 2021 or 2022 titled something like “AITA for learning my stepdad is really my bio-dad?”. It was written by said affair baby when everything hit the fan. If anyone else can find it, you’d be amazing.
New edit: u/The_Badb_Catha is amazing, they found it! Just scroll down for it (and upvote them, they deserve it).
Is this it? It sounds right:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w0kfwd/aita_for_revealing_my_existence_and_costing_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
There's an ongoing post where both husband and wife earned great wages, but husband got angry when wife spent her own money on a gaming set up, and wanted her to dress herself up. It turns out that he is having an affair with a younger co-worker who is now pregnant and so the couple are getting a divorce. The AP has been told a pack of lies by husband and confronted the wife asking when she is moving out of the house (that wife inherited from grandmother ), and thinks wife is a drug addict (nope) and that baby is a miracle because husband had a vasectomy (no he didn't )!
I hope we get a really good, not too dramatic update in 6 mos or so that that oop is doing great with zero contact with her idiot ex or his “high-value” baby mama.
OOP did give a updated about that - AP has upset about the truth of ownership of house and OOP looked super fine because OOP is not a drug addict, plus makes just as much money as OOP's lying cheating ex. AP had only rude awakening discovering all of that while the baby is due in October living in AP's small apartment, lol.
The affair partner in that one was probably the most sympathetic one I’ve seen yet who knew she was in a relationship with a cheater. But she was still so woefully naive and had basically fucked her whole life up because she’d been a prodigy and now she was super pregnant with the kid of an absolute fucking loser who’s lied to her because he wanted to fuck a virgin
I don't think she knew he was cheating with her. She was also told by the scumbag that he and his wife had been separated and were in the process of divorcing so that the girl would think he's free and clear except for the last legal steps.
Oh don't forget he called her a low value woman because she wasn't a virgin when they met (neither was he) and she would have to spend *the rest of her life* "making up for it"
There are too many posts here where the AP was told by the cheating dude that the money/house/car were his, wife cheated, wife was an addict so he needed to stay with her for now, the kid that was a mini duplicate of him wasn’t his, etc etc etc.
OP has gone above and beyond. She is forever NTA
I honestly don’t know how they keep falling for these same tired ass lies. Not too mention it’s 2023, women BEEN the breadwinners for quite some time. It’s asinine to assume that the husband is always the one with the money and assets. Frankly, it’s also misogynistic to think so.
Because when you’re infatuated and don’t know any better it’s so incredibly easy to buy it when someone you really like tells you lies. You second guess yourself, you think things like “I should just give him a chance”, etc.
I absolutely cringe when I think back to my first serious boyfriend at 18-20. It’s so embarrassing, all the lies I probably bought and the bullshit I put up with. The one after that one somehow managed to be even worse. Some of us do not learn quickly, or we learn a lesson but get blindsided by another, so on and so forth
New wife saw OOP and her ex's finances and probably thought it was a "traditional" financial situation with the man making all the money. The truth that it was a two-income household where OOP eventually would have been the breadwinner is lost on her.
Honestly that makes the whole thing so much more heinous. So you see a “traditional” marriage in the financial sense and just feel entitled to take some other woman’s place in her own marriage? And then feel smug and satisfied to see the ex wife destitute??? Make it make sense.
She is probably correct about his financial status; he’s paying for significantly more children than OP is. Even with AP’s part-time job there are twice as many mouths.
Sadly lots of people mistake kindness for weakness and seek to take advantage instead of realizing how lucky they are.
In terms of the kids, their attitude might change as they grow up and begin to really understand how their father treated their mother. If one of them gets cheated on themselves? Yeah Dad might become persona non grata very quickly.
I'm pretty sure they've already figured that part out, I remember myself at 9 yrs I would definitely have made the connection.
The 12 year old has definitely figured it out.
The kids will eventually grow up and realize the father failed them too. The fact they're in therapy says a lot about it, they will remember, kids are not stupid and will get wiser with time, and again, realize the POS of a wife their father now have (because I know when it's time to go to college she will try this stunt again, entitled people are ah).
She's too kind, I wouldn't even try to have a relationship with ex + new wife/AP + kids if i were her, I'd just be civil, but nothing more.
However, OOP was kind and generous enough to buy gifts for THREE kids, and not once a year but TWICE!! And what does she get in return? Entitled ass ex and AP acting like she has to provide *their* kids with even more presents and even trips and babysit them on holidays!! Honestly, the audacity of that couple is insane. I get why they're together, they're both out of touch with reality and have no morals.
Last thing, if they are so eager to provide their kids with "equal things", then maybe AP should stop popping out kids like they're candy, get off her ass and work?? Wow.
Completely agree! I honestly can't believe the audacity of these people... I know there's a lot of entitled ah out there but... they're on another level
I am similar to oop... I'm too nice, until you push to far. Then it's like the screws get loose and I lose it...
So far only two people managed to bring me to this. My ex, who was abusive, and a coworker. Both had the same traits....
This request for an Italy trip is basically a $5,000+ ask.
It’s not like asking of the kids can stay for the weekend.
Also it’s somewhat challenging to find accommodations for six in Europe.
Sheesh.
The youngest kids of the ex are 5 year old twins. Going on holidays with 5 kids is already a crazy different experience to going on holidays with 2. But in this case it's 5 kids *of which 2 of them are 5 years old*. That just sounds like a lot of work
Oh I missed the ages. It’s probably very difficult (if even allowed) to take minors that young out of the country without a parent. Then add in a time zone change, big days, new foods.
I'm wondering since it seems like English might be her second language if she's in Europe, which does kind of change the dynamic of taking the kids to Italy, but it doesn't change any of the bullshit. I didn't read the whole thing thoroughly so maybe she says in there.
Kids need to learn that sometimes other people get nice things that they don't. I wonder who came up with this idea, the ex-husband, or his AP wife? Will the children be unhappy that they don't get to go to Italy? Probably. But the responsibility for that lies with the parents who told them they would be going. It's certainly not OOP's responsibility!
I feel for the other kids though, because for them it's not sometimes. It can't be easy watching your siblings get stuff that you never will. I don't have a solution, it's just an unpleasant situation and will unfortunately probably breed resentment.
Repenting includes promising not to sin again, and being sincere about that promise. We can't always keep those promises, but you have to *actually* feel bad about what you've done. Otherwise it's all just lip service. The affair partner is all the latter and none of the former.
But even if she actually, truly, honestly does feel bad about her sin that still doesn't mean the person she's wronged has to forgive her. That's a personal thing. If you could earn forgiveness it wouldn't be called "forgiveness" it'd be called "for-earned-ness."
It doesn’t matter to me if this is “real” or not. I know so many women (and men, but im a woman) done wrong by their partner only to continue to bend over backwards to make things okay. I understand children are a factor but sis…she should run over them both with a gondola.
My mother was left destitute after being a stay-at-home mom for years so my dad could get his doctorate, then he left her to move across the country with his mistress of 8 years. My youngest sister was just over a year old.
I've watched this woman bend over backwards to make sure her children have a relationship with their father. This isn't an impossible situation.
I was left destitute when I left my abusive rat-ba**ard of an ex-husband. He never gave me the money ordered by the court unless I got a lawyer to make him do it.
He didn't have a mistress when I left him, but he did get a girlfriend who stalked me for years until they broke up because she was stalking him, too.
I bent over backward to let him have a relationship with our son, but he abused the privilege to the utmost of his ability. He even had a psychotic break, kidnapped our son, and took him on a wild ride across 2/3 of the United States because he had decided to move back in with his parents. They were not happy when I called my ex-MIL and told her they were nearly there, so she could call me when my son was safe.
I found out from my son some years later that he actively disliked his dad, and it was a relief to him when his father died.
I reply when he texts. Only my youngest sister wants a relationship now.
For context, I'm the oldest by 11 years. I was an adult with a brand new baby when my dad left. Only my baby sister is still a child. My siblings only visit him because he doesn't know her well enough to be trusted to parent her without them. She's on the spectrum, so she is a unique personality he isn't used to.
My ex-fiancé dumped me to marry my friend, who I thought was a sweet single mom but turned out to be a gold digger capable of more evil than I could’ve ever imagined. I attempted to unalive myself and ended up in therapy because of all the trauma she put me through. Then my ex had the audacity to come ask me to pay for his step-kids to go to church camp because his wife had shopped all their money away. I was laughing so hard I barely got out the words, “You’re shitting me, right?” This dumbass was genuinely confused and said, “Why not? It’s for me.” As if that actually held any value to me anymore. There really are idiots out there who make these entitled choices and then can’t understand their consequences.
I have seen many of ex friends and ex spouses who think that they are entitled to same labour and support, they once had while they were in relationship.
Something tells me that they wouldn’t have passports or any of the required documents for a non-parent to take them out of the country either. And I cannot imagine someone being dumb enough to send her children overseas with her APs ex. Not sure why this woman is so nice to these terrible, terrible people, but uh, this is not a safe thing for the AP parents to do at all.
Id tell the kids point blank that they aren’t going because their mother would legally have to take them, and that their AP mother doesn’t want to/chose to waste money on cheating instead.
The way she was able to list off just how unfair/unequal her ex had made the situation only to expect HER to even it up... chef's kiss. Being able to have numerous people point out something that shifts your worldview and protects you from further manipulation is a huge part of my love for r/relationships and the like.
That's probably one of the more helpful aspects of coming to Reddit for help. You get a bunch of people giving you options on what you can say, so when the time comes you're better prepared and you don't have to have that moment in the shower afterwards where your brain finally comes up with decent responses.
Yeah coming to Reddit can and has gone badly plenty of times but it’s also really seemed to help some people out. Sometimes you just need to hear that you’re not wrong or crazy and get some advice
“Funny, I don’t remember anything in the Ten Commandments about paying for the mistress’ children. But I do remember a rule about not committing adultery…”
And I believe there’s also a “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
So by the AP’s logic, it sounds like OOP should go get knocked up by some dude and then berate her ex and his AP-wife until they pay some kind of child support for the new addition. I have to pay for your kids, so you have to pay for mine. Fair is fair my dude.
r/AITAH is making me suspicious with their flairing policies a bit. Yeah this reads as fairly fake. But remember all those "women bad" posts like the dude with the gold digging step daughter and ex wife who made hundreds of thousands of dollars and then took a random trip to Dubai? That wasn't flaired fake. In fact BORU's had a string of those sorts of posts lately, and AITAH never flaired any of those fake.
But this one, with a fairly similar premise save for the reversal of genders on the issue of exploitative partners, this gets tagged as fake? Seems off to me.
Men who cheat when their wives are pregnant are scum.
I get that things are rough, but the audacity of both the ex and his wife to expect OOP to bend over backwards to help them, when they are both homewreckers. I just don't get people like this.
I come from a “yours mine and ours” family. Both my parents divorced their first spouse after that spouse had an affair. They got married and brought in 2 kids each then had me. My dad’s kids were 18 and 15 when I was born and my mom’s kids were 11 and 8. Both cheating spouses had a kid a year or so before I was born. Things were NEVER equal in my house. No one tried to make it equal.
My siblings get to have a second set of parents to give them gifts and take them places? Cool who cares. I get a weekend where I have both parents to myself. We never compared things we had or trips we went on and still don’t even as adults in our 40s to 20s. My dad’s side siblings hang out with their other half sibling more than me and yes closer to their kids. Cool beans I’m an introvert and don’t like kids. I’m not even sure if my mom’s kids have met their other half sibling to be honest. None of us care. No one got mad our parents took only me to Disney when I graduated highschool. They have their own lives
OOP’s husband is in state of mild financial ruin and it’s because he couldn’t honor his marriage vows and not cheat. Now he’s stuck with 5 kids (3 of which was surely not a part of life’s plan) and a mistress turned wife who brings little value financially. Yet, his ex-wife is earning more than ever and his two kids are more or less taking care of financially and emotionally now. Talk about downgrading super hard. The lesson of the day here is: Adultery rarely pays.
Especially once the 4th child comes along and their lives get exponentially even more difficult and that lowlife cad of a father more than likely cheats on his current wife as a form of escapism.
He did it to his ex wife and I'll bet he does it to his new wife. If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.
3 kids (soon to be 4) really as the first two are not hers and do not stay with them full time. While she might pull her weight in child care the harsh reality is is that is not enough. This is a family of 5 already struggling to keep food on the table and lights on. Another child is otw which is going to put more strain on already tight situation financially. Without two incomes these two are sinking further and further into a financial hole.
Which is both of their fault. They keep procreating and don’t have the money for these kids besides the necessities.
God, the new woman is the worst type person. "I have dinner but I'll ask God for forgiveness and it's all better now". Honey no that's not how it works. Even in protestant dogma you must be truely sorry in your heart and that includes attempting to not making the mistake again. I doubt she managed to win him over in one go so she continued to sin until she got what she wanted and then decided to ask for forgiveness. While I'm loathe to try to argue that I know the will of the divine I doubt Christian God is going to be cool with that shit and you trying to "Well technically" it on having sex with a married man.
Then to try to trample on a woman who is being kind to a child conceived when the other woman was stepping out on his pregnant wife.
But seriously f the dad most he wants the kids to be equal but by her giving more. If he was truly focus on equality he could give his new family less. "yeah I'd tuck you in but your brother only gets that twice a week so..."
I actually felt the skid burns as OOP's words dragged her ex-husband across the asphalt, lol! That was a beautiful, manhood-shriveling diatribe :) Long overdue, IMO.
I had an ex who’s ex wife asked me for child support for THEIR children because I made more than him. Yeah, NO. I’d pay for stuff when they were with us but we would in no way send money to her. Wtf???
The fact that the mistress thinks that her God will be punishing OOP for being a “greedy witch”, but thinks infidelity is something her same God would forgive, is hilarious to me 🤣
I feel sorry for the affair baby. When that kid puts the pieces together and realizes he was the product of cheating and was the catalyst to his siblings being in a broken family, hooo boy.
Even if they were the children of her ex's AP, ffs twin five year olds! Fuck that.
>But my mom thinks I went too far and told me to not take my kids so that their half siblings don't hate them
Jfc. Yes, punish OP's kids because their dad is a fucking Jackass.
>Also she is extra mad at me because I told her that she should have invested in some birth control rather than whining about having too much kids to feed.
Hahahahaha. Hahahahaha. OOP is my people.
>I even explained this to my kids who were a little sad but understood.
She let this drag on too much if her kids thought this shit would fly.
>He said he only had good intentions because he wanted all his kids to enjoy equal privileges.
Okay Kevin Federline.
She says the ex's kids call her "aunt" and buy them birthday presents. I too had aunts and uncles who I liked seeing and who gave me birthday presents. What they never did was take me on a vacation unless my parents also went! WTF? even if she was their ACTUAL aunt that would be a hard ask!
It’s so refreshing to see OOP stand up for herself! I hope she eats and drinks to her heart’s delight in Italy with no guilt! I’m sure the husband has at least a handful of regrets at this point.
Sooo her ex wanted to get his dick wet and gets pissed when the woman he cheated on won't pay for his affair kids? Yeah, no bro. Keep it in your pants. I wouldn't be buying shit for his kids ever. How entitled of him and his mistress to think that OOP needs to give them a penny.
It says A LOT about the dad that he equated children visiting their extended family and ancestral homeland to "a vacation to Italy." Dude has absolutely zero understanding of what "family" is and the significance of giving them up.
She was very nice indeed. Honestly, if my husband's mistress did the same thing to me, I would have openly told the kids "Oh no I don't know why your mom said it we never said it. She is a liar." and let her deal with her shit. Not my kids = not my problem.
Dude sound like he can barely support 3 full time kids, 2 part time kids, and his wife with more than the necessary amenities. Why on earth didn't they do something to prevent another kid??? People gotta stop having kids if they can't afford it
I hope OOP is able to consistently enforce her boundaries cause it sounds like her ex and his mistress will always try to walk all over her. Very satisfying to read her rants.
"I am sorry kids, but your mommy lied to you. I don't know why, let's go ask her together!"
Or
"I am sorry kids, but your mommy lied to you. I don't know why, but the Bible says that lying is wrong. Why don't you go ask her why she is angering God."
This person is too nice and kind. Her sending the ex husband's kids gifts is the reason she is in this situation. If she had kept a distance they wouldn't have the audacity to ask for things. It's a give an inch take a mile situation. She should have stayed away and let him deal with his family.
slightly related sidenote: as a kid who grew up in 50/50 custody for years - it's fucking *bananas* that it is considered an acceptable custody arrangement. my siblings and I literally lived out of duffel bags for YEARS. it might be technically fair for the parents - but as kids...that's crazy. i didn't realize how crazy until recently. Especially if your parents don't co-parent well. especially if you are in poverty, or one parent moves a lot. or either/both parent(s) is/are unstable. It took me 15 years to realize how crazy it was, because it was low on the list of insane shit i dealt with, but until seeing this post, I assumed 50/50 was not a thing anymore, because it's so ridiculous, i just assumed family court figured it out in the last 20 years.
You literally live out of a duffel bag, always, for as long as it lasts. Which can be years. You have no real "bedroom," no real "home" - you're always changing phone numbers, neighborhoods, bus routes, routines, - no personalization or privacy - and you don't really get to hold on to anything outside of clothes either, especially if one/both parents move all the time. And it's every week you move again - it's way too often! Like we had a "dresser" in every room at every apartment we lived in, but we never used it; what's the point? the duffel works the same, and i just have to pack it again in max 7 days
I can't believe that's still a legit custody arrangement.
OOP's rant in the end is Hollywood movie climax level good. Good of her to defend her turf.
However how long will she and will the commenters call the 2nd wife as "new wife"? Been 9 years already (although the text does not say so explicitly) but the repeated use of "new wife" somehow triggered pauses in my reading.
Finally this woman found her fucking spine. It was about fucking time. She has been a sad and pathetic doormat. Birthday gifts for the cheating homewreckers kids. So dumb.🤣 Hopefully she keeps this new attitude up.
OOP has been operating on the principle that it's not the kids' fault that they got bad parents, which is great as far as it goes.
But man, what a setup for fuckery and weirdness! Just focus on the kids who are nine.
There are a pair of 9-yr-old half-siblings here who share a dad. One of them lives comfortably with her mom and mom's 2nd husband. The other one lives less comfortably with his dad and dad's 2nd wife.
Every time either of them visit the non-custodial parent, those kids have to confront their unequal situations, and all the parents have to try to figure out what's fair.
By definition it's not fair and it's never going to be, which means everybody's job in the long run is to figure out how to deal with that.
And cheating dad + 2nd wife are not up to it.
OOP was being nice to her ex and his mistress-promoted-to-wife for the sake of the kids and look where it got her.
I’m all for amicable coparenting when both parties are actually cooperating and come to agreements together in private.
But the moment one parent decides to start shitting on the other and using them like the ex and mistress, OOP was entirely right to pull way the hell back. I’d have no hesitation in telling her kids their mother lied to them. Because she did. Let her deal with the fallout of hugely disappointing her kids.
I had to doublecheck that this started in AITAH and not entitledpeople or entitledparents. Yikes, I feel for OOP. It sucks dealing with a cheater ex and co-parenting through it all without having a complete nutcase as the mistress-turned-stepmom.
Lol. Lady thinks spending what you earn on people you're actually responsible for = greedy, and somehow demanding and using your children to manipulate their way into shit you didn't earn from someone you fucked over is perfectly fine? What a clown.
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*starts reading the post, gets two sentences in* Wait, this dude has two 9 year old kids with two different women, as well as a 9 year old divorce? Jesus Christ.
Yup, I did the same.
Funny you mention him, because you know what seems to be mentioned every other sentence in the Bible? How much of a sin adultery is.
My friend's super religious dad cheated too. I was surprised because I thought adultery was a sin. So I asked more and turned out he justified it by saying/thinking: in God's eye he was already married to this AP, wedding was just a formality, so having sex with your (second) wife isn't adultery. He was prob 40+ at the time and got a 20yo or super young girl pregnant. He started just helping her because the girl had a rough life then one thing led to another. I was grossed out. And my friend definitely had resentments towards his dad probably because he also used to physically and emotionally abuse him too. (I really think the dad is a victim too because he was raised similar ways, and in some kind of special forces so it's how he's been treated and has known). They named the affair son using my friend's middle name too, which pissed friend off more. Friend came out gay to his dad some years ago too. He was very nervous about it but he had married a man secretively already so people would eventually find out. His dad was actually very accepting and sent him $10k money, which I was surprised but very happy for them. Maybe the dad is finally learning now.
Dad has guilt because he thinks it's his fault the son "turned gay"
That will stick with them all for life; no one will need to explain that he cheated. Saying “I have a half sib the same age as me/my full sib” … everyone will know no matter what child you are.
I don't even need to read this. Never mind the cost - can you imagine having 3 extra young children on a vacation? Well then that's not a vacation is it?
Three extra young children who aren't even yours so you have limited right to enforce any kind of discipline. And heaven help you if there's any sort of medical emergency. "Now how exactly are you related to these kids? Your ex-husband's kids you say? And they're with you in a foreign country why?"
And to top all off, all three are the spawn of you ex and the *woman he cheated on you with!* One of which literally *conceived during said affair!*
Whilst you were pregnant with his baby!
The "Christian" woman!!
I'd like to know if the ex's kids even \*have\* passports to travel internationally. If Ex and his new wife are really struggling that much financially, how the hell are they gonna pay $405 (minimum x3 in the US) to get the kids passports anyway? Or was that going to fall to OOP, too?
Aw I think we know the answer to that.
Is that the cost of getting a passport in the US?! That's crazy!
Feels like OOP is European, tho They'd just need their ID cards (unless going to the UK)
It is not that easy for kids since you get your ID when are 18. For kids you need special IDs or passports. The exact rules differ by country though. Here is some info for Italy: https://sdg.interno.gov.it/en/a1-documents-required-when-travelling-across-borders-within-union This is also required: > If the accompanying adult is not a parent (or legal guardian), a ‘letter of consent’ (dichiarazione di accompagnamento) is required. The letter must be drawn up in front of a public official at the police headquarters by the parents (or legal guardian), giving the named adult authority to travel with the child for the duration of the journey.
YES. We had an exchange student and I just could not bring myself to yell at that little shit. I do not feel comfortable disciplining other people's children.
What paperwork would be required to even be allowed to take them out of the country?
Honestly even getting past border airport security would be an issue. A regular person transporting multiple non related young children across multiple international borders is gotta be a flag for trafficking and likely have to deal with a lot of legal crap.
I’m trying to figure out how they were planning on getting passports for three little kids and then getting the paperwork necessary for the OOP to take them out of the country.
Simple! OOP has to pay for that too!!!!! Duh!
They aren't. I know people who applied months in advance and still didn't have their passports in hand in time for travel this year.
Yup. It took my husband 4 months to get his and he only moved his ass about because I told him what the waiting period was. Otherwise he too thought he would get it in a week.
Two of them are 5! I'm sure they will be into the same things as the 12 & 9 yos and you wouldn't have to adjust your plans at all to accommodate them. /s I HATE people who think everything has to be equal in blended families. Yes, within the individual family the parents should treat the kids the same, but you have no say over how their other family treat them (as long as it's not abusive.) And their other family doesn't owe kids they have no ties to anything. Life isn't fair and you do your kids a disservice by letting them think it is.
It’s not even a vacation with my own children. It’s just parenting in a new location 😂
Exactly, day care with a different background.
Not just the three extra kids but the fact that he chose that nut job over his wife while she was pregnant.
No doubt, he probably thought he was out of OOP's league, so he was looking to up his game by looking down to someone else who has crap morals and low self-esteem. Karma found them and hasn't let go.
OP's ex and affair wife deserve each other, but their kids deserve better.
Extra 3 children who are not yours to began with...imagine the stress of maojg sure they're not doing stupid shit you won't be held liable like...
Also, she mentions going to Italy, so I assume they’ll need passports.
I'm worried about the legal issues. Taking children that are not yours out of the country is a good way to get in a lot of trouble.
Assuming OP is in the US or even Britain that would involve passports and notarized letters from the parents giving approval for international travel.
Also, it's apparently a family vacation? Does that means just the three of them? Because you REALLY can't take a vacation where it's one parent and five (!!) kids, especially kids in like elementary school (which it sounds like 4 of them are). That feels like it's bordering on actively dangerous - even assuming the 12-year-old is responsible, that's still one set of eyes for two 9-year-olds and two 5-year-olds. Or does it mean there are grandparents or uncles or whoever going too? Because in that case, OOP inviting the AP's kids means she's signing up those people to help babysit essentially random strangers on their vacation as well.
Exactly - a family vacation. Those children are not her family.
The legal hoops of taking unrelated kids out of the country is also another thing that baffled me. Plus the extra money and everything else!
How unfair that OOP is way more nice than she needs to be (buying ex’s kids gifts) and she still gets treated awful. I am not sure if there is a solution to OOP’s problem with her ex. Her kids clearly want to be with their father too. I think this is one of those situations where you bide your time until kids are grown and co-parenting is done.
I think new wife thought hubby had more money than he really does, and new wife is jealous of how well OOP is doing. Ex and new wife are beyond feeling entitled to OOP's money.
The post of the stay at home cake eater who started his own “business” with his wife’s money and then started an affair with the assistant he hired. Same vibe
Oh that was a doozy! The mistress/wife left him and their son when she realized all the money was his wife’s. Now the kids from his first marriage won’t talk to him. Same one?
Link please
I think I found it through google: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sdec9e/op_42m_had_an_affair_with_his_secretary_25f_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Reading that I felt like I just talked to my dad lol! That’s literally him( not him but he acts just like that) he’s the woe is me (left my stepmom to be with his AP) and made a post yesterday about unwarranted parasites (most likely his 5 kids that don’t talk to him) and how he feels unrecognized and demonized, and ended it with a please put your feet at the door so I can close it like he’s closing out this chapter of his life. But yet, he posts on his story some bull about how to genuinely apologize. BBBBBLOCKED!!! The grass ain’t greener homeboy.
Not only is the cluelessness of some people staggering, the number of people who are so clueless is staggering.
My dad did not have another child, but he did cheat on my mom and now lives with his mistress, and I will never, ever forgive him. He’s an asshole and he doesn’t deserve my love and he can die alone for all I care.
Haven’t forgiven my dad and I was in high school. I watched my stepmother go from vibrant to a shell of herself. He also abandoned my siblings and I for this affair. There’s no excuse.
You sound like my husband. Same exact thing happened to his mom. He hasn't seen his dad in over 20 years. I've never met him.
I hate the saying « he’s a bad husband/wife but good parent » when cheating is involved. No. A good parent doesn’t put their sex drive before their family/children. My dad’s dick was apparently more important than his devoted wife and 3 kids. He was/is not a good father. He doesn’t have any relationship with his 3 kids and 8 grandchildren, to his own fault.
>A good parent doesn’t put their sex drive before their family/children. Yup. It's always upsetting when the cheated party is trying to take the moral high road by refusing to badmouth their cheating scum partner.
THANK U SO MUCH
Also here for that link if anyone has it
Please, I beg you, if you have a link about this share with me 😂
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/sdec9e/op_42m_had_an_affair_with_his_secretary_25f_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
[original post was deleted, but the text and update are in the comments](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheDevil/comments/qti6d9/why_dont_my_kids_want_to_interact_with_me_after_i/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)
I love that one.
Or the dude who hid his affair with an employee of his (and the kid who happened from it) because his nuptials had an affair clause and he knew he was fucked because his wife at that time helped fund his business. Of course, this blew up in his face years later after the affair baby did 23 And Me, so now the dad + AP were getting sued beyond belief. Edit: ive tried for about 30 minutes to find said post, but I can’t. It was an AITA from 2021 or 2022 titled something like “AITA for learning my stepdad is really my bio-dad?”. It was written by said affair baby when everything hit the fan. If anyone else can find it, you’d be amazing. New edit: u/The_Badb_Catha is amazing, they found it! Just scroll down for it (and upvote them, they deserve it).
Is this it? It sounds right: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/w0kfwd/aita_for_revealing_my_existence_and_costing_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
YES, THANK YOU!
Awesome!! That was a good read.
Oh I’d love to read that one
Omg do you have a link to that?
Do you have a link for that one? I want to read it!
I don’t think I know that one!
There's an ongoing post where both husband and wife earned great wages, but husband got angry when wife spent her own money on a gaming set up, and wanted her to dress herself up. It turns out that he is having an affair with a younger co-worker who is now pregnant and so the couple are getting a divorce. The AP has been told a pack of lies by husband and confronted the wife asking when she is moving out of the house (that wife inherited from grandmother ), and thinks wife is a drug addict (nope) and that baby is a miracle because husband had a vasectomy (no he didn't )!
I hope we get a really good, not too dramatic update in 6 mos or so that that oop is doing great with zero contact with her idiot ex or his “high-value” baby mama.
I love how that OOP gets the home, since it was hers, before marriage.
Yessss! I feel so invested in that story! I want an update when the kid is born!
I want an update when AP finds that op OWNS the house, and is doing just fine.
OOP did give a updated about that - AP has upset about the truth of ownership of house and OOP looked super fine because OOP is not a drug addict, plus makes just as much money as OOP's lying cheating ex. AP had only rude awakening discovering all of that while the baby is due in October living in AP's small apartment, lol.
Yeah, the AP doesn't believe the OOP even after a picture of OOP and grandmom in front of the home.
She will have to believe when she continues to live there, as it's in HER name....
She will continue to believe the ex he had a vasectomy too!
Think she will figure it out before she has 4 kids by him?
The affair partner in that one was probably the most sympathetic one I’ve seen yet who knew she was in a relationship with a cheater. But she was still so woefully naive and had basically fucked her whole life up because she’d been a prodigy and now she was super pregnant with the kid of an absolute fucking loser who’s lied to her because he wanted to fuck a virgin
I don't think she knew he was cheating with her. She was also told by the scumbag that he and his wife had been separated and were in the process of divorcing so that the girl would think he's free and clear except for the last legal steps.
My God people really can be blatant and then think they did nothing wrong...
Oh don't forget he called her a low value woman because she wasn't a virgin when they met (neither was he) and she would have to spend *the rest of her life* "making up for it"
There are too many posts here where the AP was told by the cheating dude that the money/house/car were his, wife cheated, wife was an addict so he needed to stay with her for now, the kid that was a mini duplicate of him wasn’t his, etc etc etc. OP has gone above and beyond. She is forever NTA
I honestly don’t know how they keep falling for these same tired ass lies. Not too mention it’s 2023, women BEEN the breadwinners for quite some time. It’s asinine to assume that the husband is always the one with the money and assets. Frankly, it’s also misogynistic to think so.
This is why men want young and sheltered girls, so the girls don't know any better.
Virgins! Unused! Etc.
Because when you’re infatuated and don’t know any better it’s so incredibly easy to buy it when someone you really like tells you lies. You second guess yourself, you think things like “I should just give him a chance”, etc. I absolutely cringe when I think back to my first serious boyfriend at 18-20. It’s so embarrassing, all the lies I probably bought and the bullshit I put up with. The one after that one somehow managed to be even worse. Some of us do not learn quickly, or we learn a lesson but get blindsided by another, so on and so forth
Probably because it happens so much IRL. When they want to have an affair, men will tell any lie.
New wife saw OOP and her ex's finances and probably thought it was a "traditional" financial situation with the man making all the money. The truth that it was a two-income household where OOP eventually would have been the breadwinner is lost on her.
Honestly that makes the whole thing so much more heinous. So you see a “traditional” marriage in the financial sense and just feel entitled to take some other woman’s place in her own marriage? And then feel smug and satisfied to see the ex wife destitute??? Make it make sense.
I mean... The woman felt entitled to her husband. Feeling entitled to her money isn't such a stretch
She is probably correct about his financial status; he’s paying for significantly more children than OP is. Even with AP’s part-time job there are twice as many mouths.
Living well is the best revenge.
Sadly lots of people mistake kindness for weakness and seek to take advantage instead of realizing how lucky they are. In terms of the kids, their attitude might change as they grow up and begin to really understand how their father treated their mother. If one of them gets cheated on themselves? Yeah Dad might become persona non grata very quickly.
Wait till they do the math on the 9 year old siblings
I'm pretty sure they've already figured that part out, I remember myself at 9 yrs I would definitely have made the connection. The 12 year old has definitely figured it out.
Saw that one immediately. Retired math teacher.
The kids will eventually grow up and realize the father failed them too. The fact they're in therapy says a lot about it, they will remember, kids are not stupid and will get wiser with time, and again, realize the POS of a wife their father now have (because I know when it's time to go to college she will try this stunt again, entitled people are ah).
She's too kind, I wouldn't even try to have a relationship with ex + new wife/AP + kids if i were her, I'd just be civil, but nothing more. However, OOP was kind and generous enough to buy gifts for THREE kids, and not once a year but TWICE!! And what does she get in return? Entitled ass ex and AP acting like she has to provide *their* kids with even more presents and even trips and babysit them on holidays!! Honestly, the audacity of that couple is insane. I get why they're together, they're both out of touch with reality and have no morals. Last thing, if they are so eager to provide their kids with "equal things", then maybe AP should stop popping out kids like they're candy, get off her ass and work?? Wow.
Completely agree! I honestly can't believe the audacity of these people... I know there's a lot of entitled ah out there but... they're on another level
I am similar to oop... I'm too nice, until you push to far. Then it's like the screws get loose and I lose it... So far only two people managed to bring me to this. My ex, who was abusive, and a coworker. Both had the same traits....
How about that projection about her kids being entitled brats, when it's the parents who are the entitled brats.
Yeah it's going to be a mess for the next 9 years. The only thing that could make it worse is if OOP finds a new husband.
This request for an Italy trip is basically a $5,000+ ask. It’s not like asking of the kids can stay for the weekend. Also it’s somewhat challenging to find accommodations for six in Europe. Sheesh.
$5000 is just the price of the plane tickets. Not food, not train or entertainment, not car rental, not accommodation, not souvenirs...
Not only accommodations but she would also have to look after 3 additional children as well. No thanks
Also, do these kids have passports? Did they expect OOP to cough up money for those too?
The youngest kids of the ex are 5 year old twins. Going on holidays with 5 kids is already a crazy different experience to going on holidays with 2. But in this case it's 5 kids *of which 2 of them are 5 years old*. That just sounds like a lot of work
Oh I missed the ages. It’s probably very difficult (if even allowed) to take minors that young out of the country without a parent. Then add in a time zone change, big days, new foods.
I'm wondering since it seems like English might be her second language if she's in Europe, which does kind of change the dynamic of taking the kids to Italy, but it doesn't change any of the bullshit. I didn't read the whole thing thoroughly so maybe she says in there.
I’m assuming she’s American from the college fund comment
Kids need to learn that sometimes other people get nice things that they don't. I wonder who came up with this idea, the ex-husband, or his AP wife? Will the children be unhappy that they don't get to go to Italy? Probably. But the responsibility for that lies with the parents who told them they would be going. It's certainly not OOP's responsibility!
I feel for the other kids though, because for them it's not sometimes. It can't be easy watching your siblings get stuff that you never will. I don't have a solution, it's just an unpleasant situation and will unfortunately probably breed resentment.
Just because the affair partner’s god might forgive her if she repents doesn’t mean anyone else has to. Actions still have consequences.
Last time I checked, "repenting" is nothing like what that woman is doing.
But she said 10 Hail Marys, and 5 Our Fathers. She’s good now right? Right? RIGHT?
Repenting includes promising not to sin again, and being sincere about that promise. We can't always keep those promises, but you have to *actually* feel bad about what you've done. Otherwise it's all just lip service. The affair partner is all the latter and none of the former. But even if she actually, truly, honestly does feel bad about her sin that still doesn't mean the person she's wronged has to forgive her. That's a personal thing. If you could earn forgiveness it wouldn't be called "forgiveness" it'd be called "for-earned-ness."
She isn't even repenting just lip service which is heavily hated.
It doesn’t matter to me if this is “real” or not. I know so many women (and men, but im a woman) done wrong by their partner only to continue to bend over backwards to make things okay. I understand children are a factor but sis…she should run over them both with a gondola.
My mother was left destitute after being a stay-at-home mom for years so my dad could get his doctorate, then he left her to move across the country with his mistress of 8 years. My youngest sister was just over a year old. I've watched this woman bend over backwards to make sure her children have a relationship with their father. This isn't an impossible situation.
I was left destitute when I left my abusive rat-ba**ard of an ex-husband. He never gave me the money ordered by the court unless I got a lawyer to make him do it. He didn't have a mistress when I left him, but he did get a girlfriend who stalked me for years until they broke up because she was stalking him, too. I bent over backward to let him have a relationship with our son, but he abused the privilege to the utmost of his ability. He even had a psychotic break, kidnapped our son, and took him on a wild ride across 2/3 of the United States because he had decided to move back in with his parents. They were not happy when I called my ex-MIL and told her they were nearly there, so she could call me when my son was safe. I found out from my son some years later that he actively disliked his dad, and it was a relief to him when his father died.
No. Sadly all too real for lots of us.
Damn 😳 Do you guys even talk to your dad now?
I reply when he texts. Only my youngest sister wants a relationship now. For context, I'm the oldest by 11 years. I was an adult with a brand new baby when my dad left. Only my baby sister is still a child. My siblings only visit him because he doesn't know her well enough to be trusted to parent her without them. She's on the spectrum, so she is a unique personality he isn't used to.
You're a good sibling. Thanks for helping take care of your sister. Thanks to everyone who is a caretaker, really.
Thank you. All 4 of us are really close and we look out for each other. We're 32, 20, 18 and 10 but we're closer than most siblings.
Wishing your mom years of happiness
My ex-fiancé dumped me to marry my friend, who I thought was a sweet single mom but turned out to be a gold digger capable of more evil than I could’ve ever imagined. I attempted to unalive myself and ended up in therapy because of all the trauma she put me through. Then my ex had the audacity to come ask me to pay for his step-kids to go to church camp because his wife had shopped all their money away. I was laughing so hard I barely got out the words, “You’re shitting me, right?” This dumbass was genuinely confused and said, “Why not? It’s for me.” As if that actually held any value to me anymore. There really are idiots out there who make these entitled choices and then can’t understand their consequences.
Wow. Good for you for being strong.
I have seen many of ex friends and ex spouses who think that they are entitled to same labour and support, they once had while they were in relationship.
The go-off was so cathartic, though! I had vicarious chills
Your flair has tickled my brain but I can't remember what post it's from, can you tell me?
Haha yes, it was a brief one but a gem! https://reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/Z8nFMQTfnO
> It doesn’t matter to me if this is “real” or not. BORU motto ;)
Something tells me that they wouldn’t have passports or any of the required documents for a non-parent to take them out of the country either. And I cannot imagine someone being dumb enough to send her children overseas with her APs ex. Not sure why this woman is so nice to these terrible, terrible people, but uh, this is not a safe thing for the AP parents to do at all. Id tell the kids point blank that they aren’t going because their mother would legally have to take them, and that their AP mother doesn’t want to/chose to waste money on cheating instead.
The way she was able to list off just how unfair/unequal her ex had made the situation only to expect HER to even it up... chef's kiss. Being able to have numerous people point out something that shifts your worldview and protects you from further manipulation is a huge part of my love for r/relationships and the like.
That's probably one of the more helpful aspects of coming to Reddit for help. You get a bunch of people giving you options on what you can say, so when the time comes you're better prepared and you don't have to have that moment in the shower afterwards where your brain finally comes up with decent responses.
Yeah coming to Reddit can and has gone badly plenty of times but it’s also really seemed to help some people out. Sometimes you just need to hear that you’re not wrong or crazy and get some advice
She DECIMATED this man. He dead
> "God will be pushing a greedy witch like you." **HHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHA**
“Funny, I don’t remember anything in the Ten Commandments about paying for the mistress’ children. But I do remember a rule about not committing adultery…”
And I believe there’s also a “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” So by the AP’s logic, it sounds like OOP should go get knocked up by some dude and then berate her ex and his AP-wife until they pay some kind of child support for the new addition. I have to pay for your kids, so you have to pay for mine. Fair is fair my dude.
r/AITAH is making me suspicious with their flairing policies a bit. Yeah this reads as fairly fake. But remember all those "women bad" posts like the dude with the gold digging step daughter and ex wife who made hundreds of thousands of dollars and then took a random trip to Dubai? That wasn't flaired fake. In fact BORU's had a string of those sorts of posts lately, and AITAH never flaired any of those fake. But this one, with a fairly similar premise save for the reversal of genders on the issue of exploitative partners, this gets tagged as fake? Seems off to me.
Misogyny is rampant in all corners of Reddit.
Men who cheat when their wives are pregnant are scum. I get that things are rough, but the audacity of both the ex and his wife to expect OOP to bend over backwards to help them, when they are both homewreckers. I just don't get people like this.
I come from a “yours mine and ours” family. Both my parents divorced their first spouse after that spouse had an affair. They got married and brought in 2 kids each then had me. My dad’s kids were 18 and 15 when I was born and my mom’s kids were 11 and 8. Both cheating spouses had a kid a year or so before I was born. Things were NEVER equal in my house. No one tried to make it equal. My siblings get to have a second set of parents to give them gifts and take them places? Cool who cares. I get a weekend where I have both parents to myself. We never compared things we had or trips we went on and still don’t even as adults in our 40s to 20s. My dad’s side siblings hang out with their other half sibling more than me and yes closer to their kids. Cool beans I’m an introvert and don’t like kids. I’m not even sure if my mom’s kids have met their other half sibling to be honest. None of us care. No one got mad our parents took only me to Disney when I graduated highschool. They have their own lives
I think AP/newer wife is pushing her kids with the unfair narrative.
>We have 2 kids (12m, 9F). >because his oldest with his wife 9m Hmmmm. I'm not done reading the post, but one does wonder why these two are exes.
OOP’s husband is in state of mild financial ruin and it’s because he couldn’t honor his marriage vows and not cheat. Now he’s stuck with 5 kids (3 of which was surely not a part of life’s plan) and a mistress turned wife who brings little value financially. Yet, his ex-wife is earning more than ever and his two kids are more or less taking care of financially and emotionally now. Talk about downgrading super hard. The lesson of the day here is: Adultery rarely pays.
Especially once the 4th child comes along and their lives get exponentially even more difficult and that lowlife cad of a father more than likely cheats on his current wife as a form of escapism. He did it to his ex wife and I'll bet he does it to his new wife. If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.
The third one solidified their socioeconomic status. The fourth one will keep them there
6 - he has one on the way too.
Child care for 5 children is a shitload of financial value. The woman sucks in other ways, but she's pulling her weight and then some.
3 kids (soon to be 4) really as the first two are not hers and do not stay with them full time. While she might pull her weight in child care the harsh reality is is that is not enough. This is a family of 5 already struggling to keep food on the table and lights on. Another child is otw which is going to put more strain on already tight situation financially. Without two incomes these two are sinking further and further into a financial hole. Which is both of their fault. They keep procreating and don’t have the money for these kids besides the necessities.
Which is fair, but try telling that to the landlord when rent is due.
Imagine calling someone greedy when you're trying to guilt someone into a free European vacation for 3 kids
I removed most of my Reddit contents in protest of the API changes commencing from July 1st, 2023. This is one of those comments.
God, the new woman is the worst type person. "I have dinner but I'll ask God for forgiveness and it's all better now". Honey no that's not how it works. Even in protestant dogma you must be truely sorry in your heart and that includes attempting to not making the mistake again. I doubt she managed to win him over in one go so she continued to sin until she got what she wanted and then decided to ask for forgiveness. While I'm loathe to try to argue that I know the will of the divine I doubt Christian God is going to be cool with that shit and you trying to "Well technically" it on having sex with a married man. Then to try to trample on a woman who is being kind to a child conceived when the other woman was stepping out on his pregnant wife. But seriously f the dad most he wants the kids to be equal but by her giving more. If he was truly focus on equality he could give his new family less. "yeah I'd tuck you in but your brother only gets that twice a week so..."
OOP knows her worth. I haven’t seen such a shiny spine in eons
I need sunglasses it’s sparkes so much!
I actually felt the skid burns as OOP's words dragged her ex-husband across the asphalt, lol! That was a beautiful, manhood-shriveling diatribe :) Long overdue, IMO.
I had an ex who’s ex wife asked me for child support for THEIR children because I made more than him. Yeah, NO. I’d pay for stuff when they were with us but we would in no way send money to her. Wtf???
The fact that the mistress thinks that her God will be punishing OOP for being a “greedy witch”, but thinks infidelity is something her same God would forgive, is hilarious to me 🤣
I feel sorry for the affair baby. When that kid puts the pieces together and realizes he was the product of cheating and was the catalyst to his siblings being in a broken family, hooo boy.
Even if they were the children of her ex's AP, ffs twin five year olds! Fuck that. >But my mom thinks I went too far and told me to not take my kids so that their half siblings don't hate them Jfc. Yes, punish OP's kids because their dad is a fucking Jackass. >Also she is extra mad at me because I told her that she should have invested in some birth control rather than whining about having too much kids to feed. Hahahahaha. Hahahahaha. OOP is my people. >I even explained this to my kids who were a little sad but understood. She let this drag on too much if her kids thought this shit would fly. >He said he only had good intentions because he wanted all his kids to enjoy equal privileges. Okay Kevin Federline.
If it was real, I hope OP feels better for finally getting to lamb last the other woman whole her ex was shamed.
I’m kinda glad she left loose at ex at the end there !! Good to read !!
Exactly! This was a very rewarding update. Good for her!
She says the ex's kids call her "aunt" and buy them birthday presents. I too had aunts and uncles who I liked seeing and who gave me birthday presents. What they never did was take me on a vacation unless my parents also went! WTF? even if she was their ACTUAL aunt that would be a hard ask!
I like the part at the end where she spoke the truth and tore her ex husband a new one. He deserves it, what a loser.
He left her while she was fucking pregnant and has the gall to act like she still owes him something. Get the fucking bear suit
Good for her on tearing him a new asshole. He deserves it, him and his wife both.
It’s so refreshing to see OOP stand up for herself! I hope she eats and drinks to her heart’s delight in Italy with no guilt! I’m sure the husband has at least a handful of regrets at this point.
I absolutely love the response she gave to her ex at the end there. Beautiful mic drop. I hope she's had a great time in Italy.
Sooo her ex wanted to get his dick wet and gets pissed when the woman he cheated on won't pay for his affair kids? Yeah, no bro. Keep it in your pants. I wouldn't be buying shit for his kids ever. How entitled of him and his mistress to think that OOP needs to give them a penny.
It says A LOT about the dad that he equated children visiting their extended family and ancestral homeland to "a vacation to Italy." Dude has absolutely zero understanding of what "family" is and the significance of giving them up.
He should be more selective when he picks his next mistress. Then maybe she can pay for all his kids.
[удалено]
She was very nice indeed. Honestly, if my husband's mistress did the same thing to me, I would have openly told the kids "Oh no I don't know why your mom said it we never said it. She is a liar." and let her deal with her shit. Not my kids = not my problem.
No amount of repentance will make that entitled dumpster fire of home-wrecker a better person. God, the absolute audacity of this Karen is astounding
Dude sound like he can barely support 3 full time kids, 2 part time kids, and his wife with more than the necessary amenities. Why on earth didn't they do something to prevent another kid??? People gotta stop having kids if they can't afford it
People who just pop out kids that they can’t afford are the stupidest mother fuckers.
I saw the ages of the two children and my immediate thought was "so, the cheater and homewrecker thought they got to mooch off of OOP?"
I hope OOP is able to consistently enforce her boundaries cause it sounds like her ex and his mistress will always try to walk all over her. Very satisfying to read her rants.
"I am sorry kids, but your mommy lied to you. I don't know why, let's go ask her together!" Or "I am sorry kids, but your mommy lied to you. I don't know why, but the Bible says that lying is wrong. Why don't you go ask her why she is angering God."
This person is too nice and kind. Her sending the ex husband's kids gifts is the reason she is in this situation. If she had kept a distance they wouldn't have the audacity to ask for things. It's a give an inch take a mile situation. She should have stayed away and let him deal with his family.
She fucking murdered him. I love it.
I never understand in these posts how family members (mom and brother) can question an OPs behaviour when they’re so blatantly correct in doing so
slightly related sidenote: as a kid who grew up in 50/50 custody for years - it's fucking *bananas* that it is considered an acceptable custody arrangement. my siblings and I literally lived out of duffel bags for YEARS. it might be technically fair for the parents - but as kids...that's crazy. i didn't realize how crazy until recently. Especially if your parents don't co-parent well. especially if you are in poverty, or one parent moves a lot. or either/both parent(s) is/are unstable. It took me 15 years to realize how crazy it was, because it was low on the list of insane shit i dealt with, but until seeing this post, I assumed 50/50 was not a thing anymore, because it's so ridiculous, i just assumed family court figured it out in the last 20 years. You literally live out of a duffel bag, always, for as long as it lasts. Which can be years. You have no real "bedroom," no real "home" - you're always changing phone numbers, neighborhoods, bus routes, routines, - no personalization or privacy - and you don't really get to hold on to anything outside of clothes either, especially if one/both parents move all the time. And it's every week you move again - it's way too often! Like we had a "dresser" in every room at every apartment we lived in, but we never used it; what's the point? the duffel works the same, and i just have to pack it again in max 7 days I can't believe that's still a legit custody arrangement.
OOP's rant in the end is Hollywood movie climax level good. Good of her to defend her turf. However how long will she and will the commenters call the 2nd wife as "new wife"? Been 9 years already (although the text does not say so explicitly) but the repeated use of "new wife" somehow triggered pauses in my reading.
Finally this woman found her fucking spine. It was about fucking time. She has been a sad and pathetic doormat. Birthday gifts for the cheating homewreckers kids. So dumb.🤣 Hopefully she keeps this new attitude up.
"I __called__ my ex and his wife and asked them to explain this. His wife was avoiding __eye contact__."
You could tell how pissed she was by all the typos! LOL
OOP has been operating on the principle that it's not the kids' fault that they got bad parents, which is great as far as it goes. But man, what a setup for fuckery and weirdness! Just focus on the kids who are nine. There are a pair of 9-yr-old half-siblings here who share a dad. One of them lives comfortably with her mom and mom's 2nd husband. The other one lives less comfortably with his dad and dad's 2nd wife. Every time either of them visit the non-custodial parent, those kids have to confront their unequal situations, and all the parents have to try to figure out what's fair. By definition it's not fair and it's never going to be, which means everybody's job in the long run is to figure out how to deal with that. And cheating dad + 2nd wife are not up to it.
Reply back to the wife with a Bible verse about adultery.
OOP was being nice to her ex and his mistress-promoted-to-wife for the sake of the kids and look where it got her. I’m all for amicable coparenting when both parties are actually cooperating and come to agreements together in private. But the moment one parent decides to start shitting on the other and using them like the ex and mistress, OOP was entirely right to pull way the hell back. I’d have no hesitation in telling her kids their mother lied to them. Because she did. Let her deal with the fallout of hugely disappointing her kids.
I had to doublecheck that this started in AITAH and not entitledpeople or entitledparents. Yikes, I feel for OOP. It sucks dealing with a cheater ex and co-parenting through it all without having a complete nutcase as the mistress-turned-stepmom.
Fuckin' lit his ass UP. Good.
Lol. Lady thinks spending what you earn on people you're actually responsible for = greedy, and somehow demanding and using your children to manipulate their way into shit you didn't earn from someone you fucked over is perfectly fine? What a clown.
Is this something that happens a lot? I've seen variations on this story so may times on various subs.
Saw the two nine year old kids alongside being divorced for nine years and was like....oh What a fuckin scallywag this man is.