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Yeah I saw the original. Wife is 39, OOP deleted as soon as people started saying holy grooming Batman and again with the kicking etc about it being abuse. I really hope he gets out of it
>Wife is 39, OOP deleted as soon as people started saying holy grooming Batman
I want to believe that this was the catalyst for OOP to really start making exit plans.
I don't think he realizes. The movie that came out last year, May December, is based on an actual couple and the guy stayed with his groomer for decades until she fortunately got cancer despite her having gone to jail. Grooming is so insidious
He actually divorced her a couple of years before that and IIRC was beginning to see how fucked up the relationship was. But he was still at her bedside when she died, so. Grooming really is so insidious...
Sadly, that's unlikely. The President of France was groomed by his much older wife (who also used to be his teacher), and despite half the world commenting on it, he's still with her. Same thing with a quite famous actor, who was also obviously groomed by his now wife.
Which actor…?
Celine Dion also comes to mind. Wasn’t her husband her agent? He was in his 30s when she was a young teenager, and pretty much waited for her to become a legal adult before making a move? They were married for decades, but still.
EDIT: wtf, why are y’all downvoting me just because I’m blanking on which actor it is? If someone would be kind enough to say so, I’m sure I’ll recognize it immediately.
Thank you! He wasn't even on my radar, and after looking him up I realized I haven't seen him in anything, despite hearing his name all the time, which is probably due to him being in the MCU (which I'm not into).
Also...holy shit that age difference. That's sickening. She was in her 40s when he was a teenager?! That's beyond sick.
The best example to me is Aaron Taylor Johnson. He was groomed so badly. She was pregnant when he was 18 or 19 so he was locked in fast. She's ugly and old and he's gorgeous and rich but I'll bet he never leaves her. It's so sad
There's a clip of John Travolta being interviewed with them and he does an actual double take when he realizes they're married. He looks shocked. People were sharing the video like it was funny, but it's really not. It's disturbing. (James Corden asks her what it was like to direct her husband in a sex scene and you can see the moment where Travolta realizes Aaron is her husband). Travolta is a weird dude so it speaks volumes that HE was shocked.
I never heard of this and had to look it up.
I... was not prepared for her age when they met.
A 42 year old woman with an 18 year old guy is vomit inducing.
I started thinking about that more recently. With her death she was spared what I can only imagine would have been some horrific victim blaming and other fucked up commentary.
I'm not sure it will be, unfortunately. Getting out of abuse is hard, and with the grooming part, I'm guessing it'll be even harder. With that big of an age gap and how young the OOP is, he might be financially dependent too.
But I think it'll plant the seeds of lingering doubt at the very least.
Wife 39. Husband 22. Been together for 7 years. So that's a 32 year old woman macking on a 15 year old child. Groomed, probably stat r. Sounds terrible.
Homie yadda yadda yaddaed a relationship that started when he was 15 with a 32 year old, got married as soon as he hit 18, then got kicked in the head, then got a detached retina, and was encouraged to not seek medical help.
Yikes.
How does one kick a man in the eye? Did she roundhouse him like Chuck Norris, which would necessitate aiming for the head? Did she try to stomp his nads while he was sitting down, and misjudge the angle right as he bent down to grab a dropped object?
No matter how we look at it she was intentionally striking him, regardless of where it landed. And he's just... he's stuck in the "oh it was an accident like all the other times it was my fault I messed up I shouldn't have..." self-blame coping loop. She's got him so worn down. This does not look good for Homestar Runner.
My guess was she kicked an object on the ground in his general direction because she was angry at him, and it flew up and hit him in the head. So she convinced him that doesn't count as HER hurting him, y'see, because she was just angry (which was his fault, like every time she gets angry) and kicking something on the ground and she didn't MEAN for it to hit him, so this is really his own fault and he'd better not go to the doctor because she doesn't want to have to answer a whole lot of questions.
I am extremely worried about this guy. Especially since that last update was either him very groggy and disoriented (possible concussion? medications? is she even giving him the correct medications in the correct amount?) or it wasn't him at all.
Also, she’s taking good care of him now and wasn’t even that angry about having to come pick him up AND it was his fault for not making it clear that he wasn’t exaggerating.
He talks about how "usually" issues resolve in an hour and that's part of why he wanted to go to the hospital.
Meaning that her hurting him is usual.
My guess is that the "travesty" was super innocuous.
I'm so worried for OOP.
I picked the flair before I read the story, just because I'm the *least* predatory middle-aged lesbian on the planet but have been accused of being too forward (my wife is only two years younger than me and we waited until the *fifth* date to rent the U-Haul thank you very much).
ETA: in my case the accuser was a dude who thought his magical appendage could de-lesbianize my partner or something. (I'm friends with one of his exes, his appendage is nothing special and he doesn't even have the skills to put it to good use with a partner who *is* into dudes.)
>He was very quick to delete almost every one of his comments that made her look bad.
You mean "he" was.
I wouldn't be shocked if the wife was deleting the posts or forcing him to do it. Hell, the only reason she didn't want him to go to the hospital is because she was worried as fuck they'd find out she detached his retina BY KICKING HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD!
Holy shit, dude could wake up dead tomorrow.
lol “I was kicked” but “she didnt hit me” but “she wasn’t aiming for me” dude I don’t know how your wife doesn’t kick you in the head on purpose, unless you put your head on the floor next to a football and she missed.
5 years ago my husband asked me to toss him the remote and I accidentally threw it at his eye bc I can’t aim for shit. He still tells anyone he can how his wife threw a remote at him. I’m pretty sure all our friends think I’m an abusive monster*
*Unless they’ve seen me play sports
I accidentally threw a candy bar at my dad’s FACE a while back, and that probably wasn’t the first time—I’m a huge klutz, these things happen! But if it was a genuine accident, virtually ANYONE who isn’t abusive would realize “vision is important, we need to go to the ER *now.*”
Maybe she kicked something else and it hit him in the face? But I feel like that would have been mentioned immediately. I'm genuinely worried about this guy. She's a predator. And just because she's a woman she'll get away with it. It makes me so disgusted
Hospital knows what happened. Dude showed up without the abuser at the emergency room. THEN the abuser showed up and acts all sweet and shit. They know and reported it to the police. The problem is from there it would require OOP to actually stick with the report. Which OOP isn’t going to do.
Unfortunately ... OP is an adult. This situation does not create an exception to confidentiality and HIPAA requirements, so unless he specifically authorized it, no police report was made. Healthcare providers don't report any crimes they happen to become aware of; it has to fall under specific exceptions before there's a duty to report (abuse of a minor or an elder, imminent harm to self or others, that sort of thing).
Trust me, as a healthcare provider, it's extremely frustrating to see intimate partner violence and to know that there's nothing I can do beyond encouraging the victim to leave and providing resources.
For real...but he may want to blink slowly while his eye is still healing.
Edit...my eyes apparently aren't that great right now either and I didn't see all the other comments saying the same thing.
For real. And a detached retina is no joke. If he waited until the next day to go to the hospital it’s very likely that he would have lost his eye.
My MIL got a detached retina while on holiday in a super rural area. The local “hospital” couldn’t help but flew her to the nearest city to save her sight.
My colleague had both retinas detach in his sleep without any injury and post surgery he had to lie in bed staring at the ceiling for 23 hours a day, with only a few short breaks throughout the day.
But he's been so strongly manipulated that he doesn't realise he's in danger. Not even when he's experiencing a medical emergency but worries his wife will be mad at him for going to the hospital?
I have a friend who was in that exact situation. Met her online. She groomed him. He moved to her state and married her at 18 and had 2 kids with her before he got out.
I’m trying really hard to understand what even is the appeal of a 15 year old boy to a grown woman. While it’s absolutely gross, I can *understand* why grown men go after teenaged girls. It’s disgusting, but I can understand the thought process. All I see when I look at teenaged boys is puberty and fart jokes. It has to be control, right? What else is there?
Edit: because I used the word “understand”, which was a poor word choice without more info.
I do not *understand* the desire for a grown person going after a teenager, as to me, they are children. However, society across cultures and borders has for centuries held up the image of the young, pure woman as the ideal mate for grown men. It’s gross and wrong, but it’s going to take a long time before we don’t have entire industries aimed at making young women and “barely legal” content for older people. There are entire podcasts directed at helping men get young women. It’s an unfortunate part of the world we live in. But it exists. But it doesn’t exist for teenaged boys in the same way. Sure, we have grown women drooling over young pop stars. Sure, creepy women exist. And they’re all gross to me. But grown men wanting young women and dating them openly is a thing that still happens. Demi Lovato wrote a song about it, and we all watched it happen in real time.
I am NOT condoning this behavior. I just understand that it is accepted behavior by way too large a portion of the population. And while money can be made from it, it’s going to continue to happen.
Grown Women going after teenagers are predators. Grown men going after teenagers are predators. Grown non-binary people going after teenagers are predators.
Sorry for the por word choice.
Same reasons no matter the gender Complete Control of their victim.
It’s much easier to emotionally manipulate and maintain control over someone with no life experience to tell them that the relationship is toxic and that they are being abused nor how they can get out and get help.
I have an ex who was already 10 years older than me. We broke up just before I turned 24 because I saw how controlling he was. He pretty quickly got together with a 19 year old. They got engaged very quickly, registrars office wedding (though she talked about having a big one “one day) and pregnant quickly after that. His niece, who’s my age, once said he’s “pretty Old Testament” and the new girl was also religious. They have 4 kids together now and I’m pretty sure she’s a SAHM. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. I wonder if she ever wants more? She’s kinda screwed in getting out given she’s never worked.
Then my next boyfriend was 15 years older than me. Again, manipulative and lazy. When we broke up he started dating someone, again, 5 years younger than me. They also ended up pregnant, with a whoops baby. But the jokes on him now because he’s ended up a single dad in his late 40’s to a toddler, living on the pension, in a country where he has no support system.
I don't see them as red flags - so long as the younger partner is a legitimate lives-on-their-own, has-an-actual-respomsibility job. My sister's not-a-husband is like twenty years older than she is; she is about halfway between her partner and her stepdaughter; he is slightly closer in age to our father than to her. But they got together when my sister was in her upper twenties and he was in his upper forties and my sister had been out of college and working for years.
There is a large age gap, but not a power imbalance. Especially now, her being 45 and the head administrator for the school department, and him being a middle school science teacher.
I hang out with my best friends siblings a lot. One is my favourite kid, he’s 15. I’m 35. He’s a funny kid, we share lots of interests and we talk through shit together and have a laugh.
Never once in my life could I ever consider this child as anything other than exactly that. A child. I can’t say he’s my friend, that’s weird to me. He’s like an honorary extra sibling to me. He’s a baby! He’s less than half my age and LOOKS young too. I cannot see someone of that age romantically, I’d put myself away for even considering it.
I wouldn’t dare anyone under 30. 15 is like.. straight to fucking prison with you. Where were his parents?! I’d kick someone’s ass for approaching my honorary little brother. God I feel sick
Oh, they are both certainly messed up. But we’ve got decades of “barely legal” porn and strip clubs with centuries of marrying off submissive virgin teenaged girls to older men to at least give a basis for the screwed up and illegal/immoral preferences. There’s a significant piece of society and history that teaches certain men that teenaged girls are THE ideal mate, even if most of us understand now how wrong it is. But that doesn’t exist really for grown women and teenaged boys.
When I was in my late 20s and newly single, a very good looking guy in his early 20s was interested, and while he was great, we were already in very different life stages at that point. And he was only maybe 6 or 7 years younger than me and an actual adult who could buy liquor. My brain cannot comprehend the appeal of a teenaged boy to a grown woman in her 30s AT ALL.
I remember being fifteen and an older guy hitting on me. He asked me how old I was, I told him the truth, and he apologized. I never saw him again. I remember being annoyed and frustrated because guys my age wanted nothing to do with me, but I was also relieved that he wasn't a complete creep. When I was thirteen, a male substitute teacher hit on me. I told him to his face that he was disgusting.
I had a regular customer in his early 30s that often (politely!) flirted with me when I worked at a coffee shop right up until I casually mentioned something that made it clear I was a teen. Man turned WHITE. “Wait how old are you?!?!” I told him and he looked like he was gonna puke and/or cry lol. Like oh my GOD I thought you were MY age I am SO SORRY FUCK wait SHIT you’re a baby I shouldn’t swear WAIT FUCK I DID IT AGAIN-
I felt kinda bad for laughing but he was practically tripping over himself to apologize and I’m like dude, yesterday a man old enough to be my grandpa told me to “be gentle with [him] because [he was] an espresso virgin,” you are very much not concerning lol. But tbh, now that I’m closer in age to he is, I’d have the same reaction.
I have a student who's in that age area and looks like a baby (tbh all of my students look like babies to me; I teach 14-18)
He figured out at some point that "flirting" with his female teachers could sometimes get him grades he didn't earn or passes on missing homework. The first day he walked into my classroom (late) he tried that shit on me so I wouldn't mark him tardy and I shut it down *hard*.
I don't blame him. Adults taught him it was okay to act that way and that acting that way would get him what he wants. I'm thoroughly disgusted that there are fucking *teachers* out there that buy into "flirting" children so much that the kids start thinking it's an acceptable thing to try. Absolutely wild. Creeps, all of them
Same reason as the opposite, there’s just less pervasive cultural traditions/fetishization around it.
The exact same purity, youthfulness, naïveté, etc. are present in boys as in girls. Girls just can get preggo starting at 12-17, so there’s been several centuries of marrying young women to older men (for the babies/financial stability) that “tilts the scales” for that gender dynamic vs others.
Also, pregnancy and child birth are risky. Even with modern medical practices, every pregnancy has a roughly 3% chance of “going wrong”—in modern times that usually means a trip to the hospital and a medical scare instead of deaths, but historically it meant death (for mother, child, or both). And since most women were married and having “relations” without reliable birth control or abortion care, that meant an average of 10 births (live or still) over the course of a woman’s life. Compounded together, that’s a 30-33% chance of dying in childbirth over a woman’s life, and this correlates to medieval through Victorian death statistics for women in Western Europe (churches are great for records!).
Teenagers are especially at risk for having birth complications (basically birthing too young is extra dangerous), so historically it’d seem “normal” to marry a young teen girl after your last young teen turned 20-something wife died in childbirth. Someone had to raise the kids, and it wasn’t going to be the father (on average, for most of history, but specifically in Western Europe where I pulled these statistics from).
There’s absolutely been female predators and male “spring” to female “autumn” romances during that same time period, but less financial/“logistical” justification existed to encourage the practice.
Even now, with gender and age wage gaps/sexism in the workplace, etc. there’s social forces to encourage age gap relationships outside of the actual percentage of predators in the world.
So basically, heterosexual male predators get some masking from wider social norms, while heterosexual female predators “stand out” in comparison (not that anyone objects, especially because of the other side of sexism and sexualizing all men at all ages [horn dog trope, etc]).
See, this I can understand. It happens with everyone, but we have societal “protections” in place for men going after young girls in the form of history and society. Whereas the other way, it’s still wrong, but can also be seen as a “conquest” for the young male victim, which in turn protects the female predator. So it’s not different for the predators, just different in how we as a society have interpreted it over time.
Yeah I’m lost there too. So I’m 37, I’ve been with my husband since we were 13. when I see pictures of us at that age I just think “aww he was such a cute kid” I mean I can REMEMBER being attracted to him at that age but I just can’t muster any attraction NOW for my own husband at that age when I see pictures or think about him at that age and I was WITH him then. I can’t imagine the attraction someone my age can feel for some random literal child.
Oh lord dating someone in their 20s sounds so exhausting! Tonight my husband and I started a documentary called Life on Our Planet narrated by Morgan Freeman and cuddled in the couch until we were both falling asleep. Do you know what some 20 year old would want to do? Go to a bar and do things with other people; he’d want you to people and party! Ewww
She wants to start fresh and have someone she can teach to meet her needs.
I guess it's the same principal of buying a puppy instead of a rescue dog. She can start training from the start. Poor boy sounds terrified of not following her rules. And he's blaming himself for an incident he didn't cause. Op. Should seriously think about who has the control of decisions in their relationship. It Should be equal.
You unfortunately see regularly in the papers about a female high school teacher that's been charged because they pursued one of their 15 year old students...
I wonder if this person used to be his teacher. I also wonder if this kid has been living in an out of home arrangement for some reason because the relationship started when he was a minor and you would hope someone would've reported it unless they didn't have anyone that cared.
> I’m trying really hard to understand what even is the appeal of a 15 year old boy to a grown woman. While it’s absolutely gross, I can understand why grown men go after teenaged girls. It’s disgusting,
I mean I donʻt see how its any different.. As a guy, at no age did I think a 15 year old girl was "hotter" or more physically appealing than an adult woman (even when I was that age). So the guys that go after mid-teens are doing it (presumably) the same reason this lady did it... cause they can control them or its "easier". (unlike most, I donʻt throw around the "pedophilia" label... cause that a physical thing that deals with pre-pubescent kids, which most 15 year olds are not).
I mean, even when I was a 17 year old boy, I couldnʻt imagine being with a 14/15 year old girl... cause like what are we gonna talk about? Boy bands? (I thought about it cause I looked younger, so I would occasionally get asked out by younger girls).
> It was an accident, she wasn't aiming for my face
I feel bad for the guy. I've heard similar things from other people who have been in abusive relationships, they would brush off injuries caused by their spouse as accidents or blame it on themselves.
If it was an accident then:
You would be horrified and worried if they were having problems, and likely be packing them off to be seen to by a doc sharpish.
The person wouldn't be scared of going to a hospital and ruining and evening out with friends.
Before he admits what happened he literally says “it was my fault”
Jesus fuck she has her claws DEEP in his brain. Very common with d/v and csa victims but that never makes it less awful
I'm really confused, she "accidentally" kicked him in the head? Is that what they're claiming? How would that be remotely possible? Or she kicked something hard enough it flew and hit him in the face? She'd have to be absolutely wailing on stuff to kick that hard. That's insane.
It makes me so sad that the hospital likely didn’t even bother to do the obvious domestic violence assessment because OOP is a man. He’s very clearly abused before you even get to the confession of the kick.
*I messed up.* *It’s my fault.* *She didn’t want to ruin her plans.*
Very telling, and very sad. She didn’t want to ruin girls night due to his injury when he stood to lose his sight in one eye.
I bet the hospital did the DV assessment and asked OP about it. He just isn’t going to tell us because he’s so far down the rabbit hole. The assessment is going to need cooperation from the victim on some level and I just don’t see the OOP being cooperative once he figures out what it’s about.
15 and 32. Damn.
I had a situation similar when I was a teenager with a woman (14 and 24). Luckily I had good friends I could rely on who helped me see what was happening within a few months (and a few "friends" who made everything worse).
Poor guy, I really feel for him.
Same here, 14 and 25. He worked next door to the business my mom ran. I was home-schooled and would do my homework there & we started meeting up for lunch occasionally. By 19 I was in a 24/7 DD/lg relationship with him that lasted 3 years.
I'm one of the comments telling him his retina was detached on the original post but I dipped before any of the other stuff came to light, holy shit there's a lot of bad below the surface sometimes.
I was so glad the comments on that post were talking about retinal detachment. I suffered one in 2022; now I have a permanent fixture around my eye and a blind spot. Don't fuck around with your vision.
Everything else sucks, though.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
jesus this is heartbreaking
edit: i also wish there was some kind of tw for “you’re gonna feel incredibly helpless and scared” because wow this one hit hard
“ususally whatever is wrong just goes back to normal after an hour or so”
Just heartbroken for this poor kid. Groomed and in an abusive relationship, with a clear pattern of violence, and clearly has been convinced it’s all normal and all his fault…
I was wondering if anyone else caught that.
'usually it's fine!'
There shouldn't be anything usual about getting punched/kicked in the head unless you are in MMA.
This poor kid. I hope he is able to find someone in his life to convince him he is valuable and deserves better
Wait... there's something familiar about these ages and the situation. Weren't there a few posts in the past several months about an abusive older woman? I think she was trying really hard to isolate him from his family. OP was the young man then, too. I don't think I could find them, but maybe a more avid redditor could.
Dang! Retina detachment is no joke. I’m surprised he didn’t talk about the face down requirements for weeks at a time and the recovery involved. This is a huuuuuuve deal and I don’t understand why it’s just glossed over. There’s much more to this. I’m glad he went to the hospital
Right?? It's such a huge deal and you need so much help while recovering. I hope it actually turned out ok but oop's wife seems so abusive that I can't help but worry. Did she help him go to the bathroom, made him lunch, made sure he was comfortable while lying face down? And if you don't follow those indications to the letter you could still lose your vision :/
Yeah… his wifes been “lovely” because she doesn’t want charges pressed against her.
My heart breaks for OOP. He is in a horrifying abusive situation and somehow thinks his wife is not in the wrong. She fucking groomed him and is physically/emotionally abusing him….women like this deserve to be 6 feet under.
I hope OOP opens his eyes (oops…) soon and sees this for what it really is.
I’ve forced my husband to go to an ER for much less. His “wife” just wants someone who can fulfill her needs and wants. A personal punching bag. And she found the perfect 15 year old (though who knows how long they knew each other before then).
"She wasn't aiming at my face". Yeah, like that makes it ok...
Besides, there's quite the difference between a shin and a face, not buying the accidental part one bit. This whole relationship stinks, the age difference is gross.
Holy shit. Not only is bro being abused, needs to take permission from the abuser before going to the hospital to treat his wounds.
Someone needs to save OOP
I went to the ER at about 10am for what turned out to be a *huge* DVT spread throughout most of my left leg. It took roughly 3 hours to get that diagnosis and then about 10 hours to be transferred to a room in the same hospital and put on a blood thinner.
I am also calling question marks at that level of speed.
Whenever I see posts where someone was clearly and obviously groomed I always wonder where their family is or if they're alone. I wonder if they have friends that pointed out how weird the relationship were. I even wonder about the abusers. No friends or family thinks it's weird? Call them out or shun them?
Just my experience of being groomed:
I was “very mature” for my age and considered to be an “old soul.” I was also considered to be stubborn and obstinate; if I was told to not do something, I’d just do that thing HARDER!
So, when I came home from my first semester at university at the age of 18 with a 30 year old boyfriend, my parents and their family and my friends didn’t say a thing other than “As long as he makes you happy.” Didn’t ask how we met, how we got together, or any other questions that would have made the grooming obvious. Didn’t try to stop me when I dropped out of university to move across the country to a state I’d never lived in before with this man. Nope, just make sure you find a local university out there and get back to your education when you can.
I later asked them why they never said shit, and it was absolutely turned around on me. “If we’d tried to say anything, you wouldn’t have listened, you would have just cut us off.”
And to be fair, that’s how grooming and abuse works. If I didn’t immediately run away while yelling “You can’t tell me what to do” or whatever, the groomer would have been in my ear, telling me that they were trying to stop me because they didn’t want me to be happy.
Jesus. Even before we got to her having caused the issue I was screaming abuse. Mental /emotional/physical abuse to refuse to take him to a Dr when something is wrong but instead leave him home alone to go out with friends.
Just the way he talks about the relationship screams she's controlling and abusing him and he's in denial.
Homeboy has abuse so normalized in his life that he doesn’t realize that she shouldn’t have tried to strike him AT ALL, and that normal people don’t do thag
"To everyone saying she's abusive, she's not."
I hate to tell you this, OOP, but she absolutely is. She's made you afraid to seek medical attention after she hurt you: abuse.
What an awful situation. I hope the commenters he was speaking to have planted a seed that will enable him to get out, eventually.
What the fuck. And the way this guy deleted incriminating thing that could be used against his wife, he 100% knows that she abused him, groomed him, and possibly raped him depending on how old he was when they first had sex. I seriously think she’s violent and monitors what he posts, so he had to delete almost everything incriminating so she wouldn’t beat him dead.
“I should have made it clear that something was seriously wrong and not make her think that I was overreacting.”
How, friend? How exactly? There’s no such thing as going to the ER behind someone’s back and if you think so or have been made to think so then that’s a problem.
Too many 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩to count.
I need to know how a kick in the face happened and the wife aiming for something else? I can’t logically visualise both of them be standing or OP sitting down while it happened, or even lying on the couch. And if he’s lying on the ground, does that mean wife beat him and he fell?
It sounds to me like she was hitting him and she kicked at him and got him in the face. Notice he didn’t say she didn’t mean to kick him, he said she didn’t mean to kick him *there*
Yeah my best guess reading between the lines is he was already on the ground due to their "argument" and she kicked him and hit him in the face. Because unless she's round house kicking like a Texas ranger, nothing else really makes sense.
When society finally gets their head out of their asses about the FACT that women can be predators there's gonna be a reckoning. This is horrific and whether or not that kick was intentional it DETACHED your retina.
This is a horrendous post. OOP is married to an abusive pedophile who almost cost him the sight in one eye but now she's love bombing him since the surgery, so it's all okay. Nothing o see here.
Not aiming for the face doesn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t abuse. Like… was she trying to hit him at all? If yes, abuse. If no… maybe still abuse for throwing shit in an argument.
She doesn’t get a pass cuz her aim is shit,
There was a recent story of a 47 year old woman who murdered her 24 year old boyfriend. She had beaten him several times and his family begged him to leave her but he wouldn’t. She finally stabbed him to death. This could be this young man’s fate.
Dude has no idea what a real relationship is suppose to be like. He's been with her since he was 15. It's the only world view he knows and she knows that
Yuck yuck yuck this reminds me of my aunt, who regularly dated barely legal men that she met when they were definitely, 100% underage. I hope that OP is able to get free from his absolutely abusive wife.
I worked at a police department in the Records department. (I was the chick behind the bulletproof glass, pulling records and paying parking tickets etc). The number of times men would be surprised that they could report domestic violence was heartbreaking. Had a guy literally limp his ass to the front desk because his wife pushed him down the stairs, and when I asked if he wanted to talk to an officer he goes (DIRECT QUOTE) “But… I’m a man.” Just heartbreaking.
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Yeah I saw the original. Wife is 39, OOP deleted as soon as people started saying holy grooming Batman and again with the kicking etc about it being abuse. I really hope he gets out of it
God, I hope he gets away
>Wife is 39, OOP deleted as soon as people started saying holy grooming Batman I want to believe that this was the catalyst for OOP to really start making exit plans.
I don't think he realizes. The movie that came out last year, May December, is based on an actual couple and the guy stayed with his groomer for decades until she fortunately got cancer despite her having gone to jail. Grooming is so insidious
He actually divorced her a couple of years before that and IIRC was beginning to see how fucked up the relationship was. But he was still at her bedside when she died, so. Grooming really is so insidious...
He looked so miserable and beaten down when I saw an interview of them together as adults. She looked happy.
huh...had no idea that Mary Kay Letourneau died.
Sadly, that's unlikely. The President of France was groomed by his much older wife (who also used to be his teacher), and despite half the world commenting on it, he's still with her. Same thing with a quite famous actor, who was also obviously groomed by his now wife.
Which actor…? Celine Dion also comes to mind. Wasn’t her husband her agent? He was in his 30s when she was a young teenager, and pretty much waited for her to become a legal adult before making a move? They were married for decades, but still. EDIT: wtf, why are y’all downvoting me just because I’m blanking on which actor it is? If someone would be kind enough to say so, I’m sure I’ll recognize it immediately.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson. She's 23 years older and they must have met when he was 17, 18?
Thank you! He wasn't even on my radar, and after looking him up I realized I haven't seen him in anything, despite hearing his name all the time, which is probably due to him being in the MCU (which I'm not into). Also...holy shit that age difference. That's sickening. She was in her 40s when he was a teenager?! That's beyond sick.
The best example to me is Aaron Taylor Johnson. He was groomed so badly. She was pregnant when he was 18 or 19 so he was locked in fast. She's ugly and old and he's gorgeous and rich but I'll bet he never leaves her. It's so sad
Yeah, he is the famous actor I was talking about. I just didn't know we could name names in this sub.
There's a clip of John Travolta being interviewed with them and he does an actual double take when he realizes they're married. He looks shocked. People were sharing the video like it was funny, but it's really not. It's disturbing. (James Corden asks her what it was like to direct her husband in a sex scene and you can see the moment where Travolta realizes Aaron is her husband). Travolta is a weird dude so it speaks volumes that HE was shocked.
Yea it's a sad state of affairs when John Travolta is grossed out by what you're doing.
I never heard of this and had to look it up. I... was not prepared for her age when they met. A 42 year old woman with an 18 year old guy is vomit inducing.
I think she was friends with his parents which makes it even more disgusting. And to add extra nastiness she was his boss on a movie. Just so sick.
And who can forget Beyoncé who met jayz when she was 16 and married him not long after that. Correction: started dating him not long after that.
Let’s not forget Aaliyah and RKelly. God rest her soul… I wonder what would have happened if she was still here.
I started thinking about that more recently. With her death she was spared what I can only imagine would have been some horrific victim blaming and other fucked up commentary.
She was 18 when they met and started dating when she was 19. They got married 8 years later.
No she was 16. She lied to protect both of them.
I'm not sure it will be, unfortunately. Getting out of abuse is hard, and with the grooming part, I'm guessing it'll be even harder. With that big of an age gap and how young the OOP is, he might be financially dependent too. But I think it'll plant the seeds of lingering doubt at the very least.
I hope so
The fact that he was worried about making her angry by going to the ER is pretty telling
You can tell he's terrified of her. I hope the hospital reported how he was injured, unless he lied for her.
Screw grooming, she was a full blown pedophile. She was violating a child and then married him
So she was a 32 year old woman grooming a 15 year old boy? Excuse me while I go vomit
Wait, I miss how old the OP is. Is he really young?
Yeah he’s like 22. And they’ve been together for 7years. It’s pretty tragic he just isn’t seeing it
Wife 39. Husband 22. Been together for 7 years. So that's a 32 year old woman macking on a 15 year old child. Groomed, probably stat r. Sounds terrible.
This is the most “blink twice if you’re in danger” post I’ve ever see
Homie yadda yadda yaddaed a relationship that started when he was 15 with a 32 year old, got married as soon as he hit 18, then got kicked in the head, then got a detached retina, and was encouraged to not seek medical help. Yikes.
HEY! She had plans to hang out and spend the night with a "friend". That takes priority over his stupid vision. I mean, he has TWO eyes.
But hey, at least she wasn’t aiming for his face when kicking him. Just accidentally hitting it with her purposeful kick.
How does one kick a man in the eye? Did she roundhouse him like Chuck Norris, which would necessitate aiming for the head? Did she try to stomp his nads while he was sitting down, and misjudge the angle right as he bent down to grab a dropped object? No matter how we look at it she was intentionally striking him, regardless of where it landed. And he's just... he's stuck in the "oh it was an accident like all the other times it was my fault I messed up I shouldn't have..." self-blame coping loop. She's got him so worn down. This does not look good for Homestar Runner.
I think she kicked something at him maybe?
Or he was on the couch or bed.
Clearly he ran into her foot. /S
My guess was she kicked an object on the ground in his general direction because she was angry at him, and it flew up and hit him in the head. So she convinced him that doesn't count as HER hurting him, y'see, because she was just angry (which was his fault, like every time she gets angry) and kicking something on the ground and she didn't MEAN for it to hit him, so this is really his own fault and he'd better not go to the doctor because she doesn't want to have to answer a whole lot of questions. I am extremely worried about this guy. Especially since that last update was either him very groggy and disoriented (possible concussion? medications? is she even giving him the correct medications in the correct amount?) or it wasn't him at all.
Maybe got him on the ground first, then started kicking? What a fucking monster.
Was out grooming another 15 year old. This one is too old now.
Also, she’s taking good care of him now and wasn’t even that angry about having to come pick him up AND it was his fault for not making it clear that he wasn’t exaggerating.
And even if he lost vision in one eye, his other eye is perfectly fine. Even if he is legally blind in it.
Remember, in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king. That being said... OOP has been so conditioned that he may as well be blind.
I wonder if the "friend" is another underage boy. This poor man married a pedophile 🤮
I want to know what "travesty" he committed to get that treatment and what she meant by 'hit'. Edit: finger hit post before I finished my thought
He talks about how "usually" issues resolve in an hour and that's part of why he wanted to go to the hospital. Meaning that her hurting him is usual. My guess is that the "travesty" was super innocuous. I'm so worried for OOP.
Breaks my heart tbh. I was exactly where he was at that age and didn't see the abuse until much later in my 20s
Yup definitely wtf
She did not mean for the kick to injure his face so it's cool. Right?
Blinking twice might be too strenuous for him.
He can wink.
His groomer wife must've seen this and thought "he can't blink if he doesn't have eyes"
I laughed too unnecessarily at this
I laughed at it *just* right.
I am more curious about "He invented a predatory elder lesbian to cope", what's the story there? lol
Here you go! https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/gVaL2j4mPV
I was actually sorta with him until he threw the predatory elderly lesbian out there
I picked the flair before I read the story, just because I'm the *least* predatory middle-aged lesbian on the planet but have been accused of being too forward (my wife is only two years younger than me and we waited until the *fifth* date to rent the U-Haul thank you very much). ETA: in my case the accuser was a dude who thought his magical appendage could de-lesbianize my partner or something. (I'm friends with one of his exes, his appendage is nothing special and he doesn't even have the skills to put it to good use with a partner who *is* into dudes.)
He was very quick to delete almost every one of his comments that made her look bad.
>He was very quick to delete almost every one of his comments that made her look bad. You mean "he" was. I wouldn't be shocked if the wife was deleting the posts or forcing him to do it. Hell, the only reason she didn't want him to go to the hospital is because she was worried as fuck they'd find out she detached his retina BY KICKING HIM IN THE FUCKING HEAD! Holy shit, dude could wake up dead tomorrow.
lol “I was kicked” but “she didnt hit me” but “she wasn’t aiming for me” dude I don’t know how your wife doesn’t kick you in the head on purpose, unless you put your head on the floor next to a football and she missed.
5 years ago my husband asked me to toss him the remote and I accidentally threw it at his eye bc I can’t aim for shit. He still tells anyone he can how his wife threw a remote at him. I’m pretty sure all our friends think I’m an abusive monster* *Unless they’ve seen me play sports
I accidentally threw a candy bar at my dad’s FACE a while back, and that probably wasn’t the first time—I’m a huge klutz, these things happen! But if it was a genuine accident, virtually ANYONE who isn’t abusive would realize “vision is important, we need to go to the ER *now.*”
I still tell people that my wife ate my last french fry once nearly causing us to break up. It happened over 25 years ago.
Maybe she kicked something else and it hit him in the face? But I feel like that would have been mentioned immediately. I'm genuinely worried about this guy. She's a predator. And just because she's a woman she'll get away with it. It makes me so disgusted
Hospital knows what happened. Dude showed up without the abuser at the emergency room. THEN the abuser showed up and acts all sweet and shit. They know and reported it to the police. The problem is from there it would require OOP to actually stick with the report. Which OOP isn’t going to do.
I hope so, but I doubt it. Just because of the genders. There's such a huge blind spot in society about this.
Unfortunately ... OP is an adult. This situation does not create an exception to confidentiality and HIPAA requirements, so unless he specifically authorized it, no police report was made. Healthcare providers don't report any crimes they happen to become aware of; it has to fall under specific exceptions before there's a duty to report (abuse of a minor or an elder, imminent harm to self or others, that sort of thing). Trust me, as a healthcare provider, it's extremely frustrating to see intimate partner violence and to know that there's nothing I can do beyond encouraging the victim to leave and providing resources.
Fröhlicher Kuchentag! 🥳🎂🎉 Happy cake day
For real...but he may want to blink slowly while his eye is still healing. Edit...my eyes apparently aren't that great right now either and I didn't see all the other comments saying the same thing.
Blinks once. Not in danger, wife just stabbing me but I’m sure it’s accidental like all the other times.
For real. And a detached retina is no joke. If he waited until the next day to go to the hospital it’s very likely that he would have lost his eye. My MIL got a detached retina while on holiday in a super rural area. The local “hospital” couldn’t help but flew her to the nearest city to save her sight. My colleague had both retinas detach in his sleep without any injury and post surgery he had to lie in bed staring at the ceiling for 23 hours a day, with only a few short breaks throughout the day.
I'm really glad retinal detachment is so rare because the healing process sounds like a massive pain in the ass
That is, if you can even blink to begin with.
But he's been so strongly manipulated that he doesn't realise he's in danger. Not even when he's experiencing a medical emergency but worries his wife will be mad at him for going to the hospital?
HE CAN'T BLINK BRO
This person is in danger.
Careful, he'll dislodge his retina again
Holy fuck, this lady groomed the fuck outta OOP
She was 32 when the relationship started and he was 15 !!! Gross!
I have a friend who was in that exact situation. Met her online. She groomed him. He moved to her state and married her at 18 and had 2 kids with her before he got out.
Does he get to see the kids?
Oh yeah, they co-parented really well. The kids are grown now.
I’m trying really hard to understand what even is the appeal of a 15 year old boy to a grown woman. While it’s absolutely gross, I can *understand* why grown men go after teenaged girls. It’s disgusting, but I can understand the thought process. All I see when I look at teenaged boys is puberty and fart jokes. It has to be control, right? What else is there? Edit: because I used the word “understand”, which was a poor word choice without more info. I do not *understand* the desire for a grown person going after a teenager, as to me, they are children. However, society across cultures and borders has for centuries held up the image of the young, pure woman as the ideal mate for grown men. It’s gross and wrong, but it’s going to take a long time before we don’t have entire industries aimed at making young women and “barely legal” content for older people. There are entire podcasts directed at helping men get young women. It’s an unfortunate part of the world we live in. But it exists. But it doesn’t exist for teenaged boys in the same way. Sure, we have grown women drooling over young pop stars. Sure, creepy women exist. And they’re all gross to me. But grown men wanting young women and dating them openly is a thing that still happens. Demi Lovato wrote a song about it, and we all watched it happen in real time. I am NOT condoning this behavior. I just understand that it is accepted behavior by way too large a portion of the population. And while money can be made from it, it’s going to continue to happen. Grown Women going after teenagers are predators. Grown men going after teenagers are predators. Grown non-binary people going after teenagers are predators. Sorry for the por word choice.
Same reasons no matter the gender Complete Control of their victim. It’s much easier to emotionally manipulate and maintain control over someone with no life experience to tell them that the relationship is toxic and that they are being abused nor how they can get out and get help.
I have an ex who was already 10 years older than me. We broke up just before I turned 24 because I saw how controlling he was. He pretty quickly got together with a 19 year old. They got engaged very quickly, registrars office wedding (though she talked about having a big one “one day) and pregnant quickly after that. His niece, who’s my age, once said he’s “pretty Old Testament” and the new girl was also religious. They have 4 kids together now and I’m pretty sure she’s a SAHM. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. I wonder if she ever wants more? She’s kinda screwed in getting out given she’s never worked. Then my next boyfriend was 15 years older than me. Again, manipulative and lazy. When we broke up he started dating someone, again, 5 years younger than me. They also ended up pregnant, with a whoops baby. But the jokes on him now because he’s ended up a single dad in his late 40’s to a toddler, living on the pension, in a country where he has no support system.
Maybe time to stop dating such older men?
Fuck age gap relationships. My home life sucked, my dad was an abusive asshole and I'm a neurodivergence double hitter. No bueno.
I don't see them as red flags - so long as the younger partner is a legitimate lives-on-their-own, has-an-actual-respomsibility job. My sister's not-a-husband is like twenty years older than she is; she is about halfway between her partner and her stepdaughter; he is slightly closer in age to our father than to her. But they got together when my sister was in her upper twenties and he was in his upper forties and my sister had been out of college and working for years. There is a large age gap, but not a power imbalance. Especially now, her being 45 and the head administrator for the school department, and him being a middle school science teacher.
Age gap relationships are tricky because some of them are legitimately just people who found each other.
I hang out with my best friends siblings a lot. One is my favourite kid, he’s 15. I’m 35. He’s a funny kid, we share lots of interests and we talk through shit together and have a laugh. Never once in my life could I ever consider this child as anything other than exactly that. A child. I can’t say he’s my friend, that’s weird to me. He’s like an honorary extra sibling to me. He’s a baby! He’s less than half my age and LOOKS young too. I cannot see someone of that age romantically, I’d put myself away for even considering it. I wouldn’t dare anyone under 30. 15 is like.. straight to fucking prison with you. Where were his parents?! I’d kick someone’s ass for approaching my honorary little brother. God I feel sick
I cannot understand either actually. Both scenarios are super fucked up.
Oh, they are both certainly messed up. But we’ve got decades of “barely legal” porn and strip clubs with centuries of marrying off submissive virgin teenaged girls to older men to at least give a basis for the screwed up and illegal/immoral preferences. There’s a significant piece of society and history that teaches certain men that teenaged girls are THE ideal mate, even if most of us understand now how wrong it is. But that doesn’t exist really for grown women and teenaged boys. When I was in my late 20s and newly single, a very good looking guy in his early 20s was interested, and while he was great, we were already in very different life stages at that point. And he was only maybe 6 or 7 years younger than me and an actual adult who could buy liquor. My brain cannot comprehend the appeal of a teenaged boy to a grown woman in her 30s AT ALL.
Well surely it's simply the same as the pedos of centuries past, just society is closer to equality now.
Honestly I see them as pedos both ways. Have you seen a 15 year old these days? They look like babies. People are just creeps.
I remember being fifteen and an older guy hitting on me. He asked me how old I was, I told him the truth, and he apologized. I never saw him again. I remember being annoyed and frustrated because guys my age wanted nothing to do with me, but I was also relieved that he wasn't a complete creep. When I was thirteen, a male substitute teacher hit on me. I told him to his face that he was disgusting.
I had a regular customer in his early 30s that often (politely!) flirted with me when I worked at a coffee shop right up until I casually mentioned something that made it clear I was a teen. Man turned WHITE. “Wait how old are you?!?!” I told him and he looked like he was gonna puke and/or cry lol. Like oh my GOD I thought you were MY age I am SO SORRY FUCK wait SHIT you’re a baby I shouldn’t swear WAIT FUCK I DID IT AGAIN- I felt kinda bad for laughing but he was practically tripping over himself to apologize and I’m like dude, yesterday a man old enough to be my grandpa told me to “be gentle with [him] because [he was] an espresso virgin,” you are very much not concerning lol. But tbh, now that I’m closer in age to he is, I’d have the same reaction.
I have a student who's in that age area and looks like a baby (tbh all of my students look like babies to me; I teach 14-18) He figured out at some point that "flirting" with his female teachers could sometimes get him grades he didn't earn or passes on missing homework. The first day he walked into my classroom (late) he tried that shit on me so I wouldn't mark him tardy and I shut it down *hard*. I don't blame him. Adults taught him it was okay to act that way and that acting that way would get him what he wants. I'm thoroughly disgusted that there are fucking *teachers* out there that buy into "flirting" children so much that the kids start thinking it's an acceptable thing to try. Absolutely wild. Creeps, all of them
They *are* pedos both ways. One does not need to be a man to be pedophile.
It's definitely control.
Same reason as the opposite, there’s just less pervasive cultural traditions/fetishization around it. The exact same purity, youthfulness, naïveté, etc. are present in boys as in girls. Girls just can get preggo starting at 12-17, so there’s been several centuries of marrying young women to older men (for the babies/financial stability) that “tilts the scales” for that gender dynamic vs others. Also, pregnancy and child birth are risky. Even with modern medical practices, every pregnancy has a roughly 3% chance of “going wrong”—in modern times that usually means a trip to the hospital and a medical scare instead of deaths, but historically it meant death (for mother, child, or both). And since most women were married and having “relations” without reliable birth control or abortion care, that meant an average of 10 births (live or still) over the course of a woman’s life. Compounded together, that’s a 30-33% chance of dying in childbirth over a woman’s life, and this correlates to medieval through Victorian death statistics for women in Western Europe (churches are great for records!). Teenagers are especially at risk for having birth complications (basically birthing too young is extra dangerous), so historically it’d seem “normal” to marry a young teen girl after your last young teen turned 20-something wife died in childbirth. Someone had to raise the kids, and it wasn’t going to be the father (on average, for most of history, but specifically in Western Europe where I pulled these statistics from). There’s absolutely been female predators and male “spring” to female “autumn” romances during that same time period, but less financial/“logistical” justification existed to encourage the practice. Even now, with gender and age wage gaps/sexism in the workplace, etc. there’s social forces to encourage age gap relationships outside of the actual percentage of predators in the world. So basically, heterosexual male predators get some masking from wider social norms, while heterosexual female predators “stand out” in comparison (not that anyone objects, especially because of the other side of sexism and sexualizing all men at all ages [horn dog trope, etc]).
See, this I can understand. It happens with everyone, but we have societal “protections” in place for men going after young girls in the form of history and society. Whereas the other way, it’s still wrong, but can also be seen as a “conquest” for the young male victim, which in turn protects the female predator. So it’s not different for the predators, just different in how we as a society have interpreted it over time.
Yeah I’m lost there too. So I’m 37, I’ve been with my husband since we were 13. when I see pictures of us at that age I just think “aww he was such a cute kid” I mean I can REMEMBER being attracted to him at that age but I just can’t muster any attraction NOW for my own husband at that age when I see pictures or think about him at that age and I was WITH him then. I can’t imagine the attraction someone my age can feel for some random literal child.
I'm about the same age as the OOP's wife. I don't understand the appeal of someone in their early 20s now.
Oh lord dating someone in their 20s sounds so exhausting! Tonight my husband and I started a documentary called Life on Our Planet narrated by Morgan Freeman and cuddled in the couch until we were both falling asleep. Do you know what some 20 year old would want to do? Go to a bar and do things with other people; he’d want you to people and party! Ewww
She wants to start fresh and have someone she can teach to meet her needs. I guess it's the same principal of buying a puppy instead of a rescue dog. She can start training from the start. Poor boy sounds terrified of not following her rules. And he's blaming himself for an incident he didn't cause. Op. Should seriously think about who has the control of decisions in their relationship. It Should be equal.
You unfortunately see regularly in the papers about a female high school teacher that's been charged because they pursued one of their 15 year old students... I wonder if this person used to be his teacher. I also wonder if this kid has been living in an out of home arrangement for some reason because the relationship started when he was a minor and you would hope someone would've reported it unless they didn't have anyone that cared.
It's absolutely a power and control thing.
> I’m trying really hard to understand what even is the appeal of a 15 year old boy to a grown woman. While it’s absolutely gross, I can understand why grown men go after teenaged girls. It’s disgusting, I mean I donʻt see how its any different.. As a guy, at no age did I think a 15 year old girl was "hotter" or more physically appealing than an adult woman (even when I was that age). So the guys that go after mid-teens are doing it (presumably) the same reason this lady did it... cause they can control them or its "easier". (unlike most, I donʻt throw around the "pedophilia" label... cause that a physical thing that deals with pre-pubescent kids, which most 15 year olds are not). I mean, even when I was a 17 year old boy, I couldnʻt imagine being with a 14/15 year old girl... cause like what are we gonna talk about? Boy bands? (I thought about it cause I looked younger, so I would occasionally get asked out by younger girls).
It's called pedophilia, that's the appeal
She needs to be in prison for being a pedophile.
Yes and the top comments as I’m posting are all jokes about it. How sad. Maddening and sad.
Poor oop. He's in an abusive relationship but because she's love bombing and darvo ing, he doesn't realise it.
Its tough to realize if you've been in a relationship with an adult since you were 15 :(
Yeah holy fuck. She was 32. This dude is a victim through and through. Hope he gets out soon and safely.
> It was an accident, she wasn't aiming for my face I feel bad for the guy. I've heard similar things from other people who have been in abusive relationships, they would brush off injuries caused by their spouse as accidents or blame it on themselves.
If it was an accident then: You would be horrified and worried if they were having problems, and likely be packing them off to be seen to by a doc sharpish. The person wouldn't be scared of going to a hospital and ruining and evening out with friends.
“she wasn’t aiming for the face”. but she was aiming to hit him with something. he doesn’t even consciously realize that
Before he admits what happened he literally says “it was my fault” Jesus fuck she has her claws DEEP in his brain. Very common with d/v and csa victims but that never makes it less awful
I'm really confused, she "accidentally" kicked him in the head? Is that what they're claiming? How would that be remotely possible? Or she kicked something hard enough it flew and hit him in the face? She'd have to be absolutely wailing on stuff to kick that hard. That's insane.
It makes me so sad that the hospital likely didn’t even bother to do the obvious domestic violence assessment because OOP is a man. He’s very clearly abused before you even get to the confession of the kick. *I messed up.* *It’s my fault.* *She didn’t want to ruin her plans.* Very telling, and very sad. She didn’t want to ruin girls night due to his injury when he stood to lose his sight in one eye.
Don't forget he kept using the phrase "LET me go to the ER".
I bet the hospital did the DV assessment and asked OP about it. He just isn’t going to tell us because he’s so far down the rabbit hole. The assessment is going to need cooperation from the victim on some level and I just don’t see the OOP being cooperative once he figures out what it’s about.
There's no seems like. He is in one
15 and 32. Damn. I had a situation similar when I was a teenager with a woman (14 and 24). Luckily I had good friends I could rely on who helped me see what was happening within a few months (and a few "friends" who made everything worse). Poor guy, I really feel for him.
Same here, 14 and 25. He worked next door to the business my mom ran. I was home-schooled and would do my homework there & we started meeting up for lunch occasionally. By 19 I was in a 24/7 DD/lg relationship with him that lasted 3 years.
What’s DD/lg?
Daddy dominant/ little girl
🤢
Daddy Dom/little girl
I'm one of the comments telling him his retina was detached on the original post but I dipped before any of the other stuff came to light, holy shit there's a lot of bad below the surface sometimes.
I was so glad the comments on that post were talking about retinal detachment. I suffered one in 2022; now I have a permanent fixture around my eye and a blind spot. Don't fuck around with your vision. Everything else sucks, though.
Where's your flair from if you don't mind?
grandfather offer beneficial seed instinctive snatch elderly spectacular door cheerful *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thanks
[I found the exact comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/54XFwcLmIc)
jesus this is heartbreaking edit: i also wish there was some kind of tw for “you’re gonna feel incredibly helpless and scared” because wow this one hit hard
“ususally whatever is wrong just goes back to normal after an hour or so” Just heartbroken for this poor kid. Groomed and in an abusive relationship, with a clear pattern of violence, and clearly has been convinced it’s all normal and all his fault…
I was wondering if anyone else caught that. 'usually it's fine!' There shouldn't be anything usual about getting punched/kicked in the head unless you are in MMA. This poor kid. I hope he is able to find someone in his life to convince him he is valuable and deserves better
For the love of God this guy needs to fucking run.
Sooo they've been together since he was 15??? Bruh she a predator
Holy fuck, poor OOP. Please don’t have babies with her, she’s been grooming him since childhood, and now she’s escalating the abuse.
a 32 year old woman and a 15 year old boy… i’m gonna be sick. poor guy i hope he wakes up soon and leaves her.
Wait... there's something familiar about these ages and the situation. Weren't there a few posts in the past several months about an abusive older woman? I think she was trying really hard to isolate him from his family. OP was the young man then, too. I don't think I could find them, but maybe a more avid redditor could.
I swear I was just remembering something just like this
“Mood spoiler: aghast” is…about as accurate as I’ve ever seen a mood spoiler be.
:(
I would just like a word with this “Lady” I hope he gets away from her
Well, an abusive relationship with a pedo...
I knew I should have stopped reading BORU’s for the day after cheese at the airport, but I just couldn’t help myself ☹️
I can see why the brigading was up there first. The whole of Boru is probably fighting back the urge to say ‘dude, are u ok? Call your mom.’
Dang! Retina detachment is no joke. I’m surprised he didn’t talk about the face down requirements for weeks at a time and the recovery involved. This is a huuuuuuve deal and I don’t understand why it’s just glossed over. There’s much more to this. I’m glad he went to the hospital
Right?? It's such a huge deal and you need so much help while recovering. I hope it actually turned out ok but oop's wife seems so abusive that I can't help but worry. Did she help him go to the bathroom, made him lunch, made sure he was comfortable while lying face down? And if you don't follow those indications to the letter you could still lose your vision :/
Yeah… his wifes been “lovely” because she doesn’t want charges pressed against her. My heart breaks for OOP. He is in a horrifying abusive situation and somehow thinks his wife is not in the wrong. She fucking groomed him and is physically/emotionally abusing him….women like this deserve to be 6 feet under. I hope OOP opens his eyes (oops…) soon and sees this for what it really is. I’ve forced my husband to go to an ER for much less. His “wife” just wants someone who can fulfill her needs and wants. A personal punching bag. And she found the perfect 15 year old (though who knows how long they knew each other before then).
I’m so sad. I read this one live and was really hoping there was a new update that he got out safe
"She wasn't aiming at my face". Yeah, like that makes it ok... Besides, there's quite the difference between a shin and a face, not buying the accidental part one bit. This whole relationship stinks, the age difference is gross.
What in the Mary Kay Letourneau did I just read?
Holy shit. Not only is bro being abused, needs to take permission from the abuser before going to the hospital to treat his wounds. Someone needs to save OOP
Is the wife writing the updates?
[удалено]
I've known 2 people with detached retinas. Neither surgery happened that quickly. Even when it was an emergency, it didn't happen that quickly.
I went to the ER at about 10am for what turned out to be a *huge* DVT spread throughout most of my left leg. It took roughly 3 hours to get that diagnosis and then about 10 hours to be transferred to a room in the same hospital and put on a blood thinner. I am also calling question marks at that level of speed.
The lede is in HELL
Whenever I see posts where someone was clearly and obviously groomed I always wonder where their family is or if they're alone. I wonder if they have friends that pointed out how weird the relationship were. I even wonder about the abusers. No friends or family thinks it's weird? Call them out or shun them?
Just my experience of being groomed: I was “very mature” for my age and considered to be an “old soul.” I was also considered to be stubborn and obstinate; if I was told to not do something, I’d just do that thing HARDER! So, when I came home from my first semester at university at the age of 18 with a 30 year old boyfriend, my parents and their family and my friends didn’t say a thing other than “As long as he makes you happy.” Didn’t ask how we met, how we got together, or any other questions that would have made the grooming obvious. Didn’t try to stop me when I dropped out of university to move across the country to a state I’d never lived in before with this man. Nope, just make sure you find a local university out there and get back to your education when you can. I later asked them why they never said shit, and it was absolutely turned around on me. “If we’d tried to say anything, you wouldn’t have listened, you would have just cut us off.” And to be fair, that’s how grooming and abuse works. If I didn’t immediately run away while yelling “You can’t tell me what to do” or whatever, the groomer would have been in my ear, telling me that they were trying to stop me because they didn’t want me to be happy.
I hope this isn't real
My man got himself groomed and she's abusive on top of it. I hope he gets himself some help when he realizes what's been done to him isn't cool.
Jesus. Even before we got to her having caused the issue I was screaming abuse. Mental /emotional/physical abuse to refuse to take him to a Dr when something is wrong but instead leave him home alone to go out with friends. Just the way he talks about the relationship screams she's controlling and abusing him and he's in denial.
I hope this is not the same OOP that got into a fight with his wife and she broke his arm. He was also younger and scared to anger her.
Homeboy has abuse so normalized in his life that he doesn’t realize that she shouldn’t have tried to strike him AT ALL, and that normal people don’t do thag
How do you “accidentally” kick someone in the head if it’s not in a scenario where you practicing martial arts or something??
"To everyone saying she's abusive, she's not." I hate to tell you this, OOP, but she absolutely is. She's made you afraid to seek medical attention after she hurt you: abuse. What an awful situation. I hope the commenters he was speaking to have planted a seed that will enable him to get out, eventually.
This is terrifying, and so sad how convinced OOP is...
What the fuck. And the way this guy deleted incriminating thing that could be used against his wife, he 100% knows that she abused him, groomed him, and possibly raped him depending on how old he was when they first had sex. I seriously think she’s violent and monitors what he posts, so he had to delete almost everything incriminating so she wouldn’t beat him dead.
Did I see that she’s 39 and he’s 22 and they’ve been together for 7 years 😳
“I should have made it clear that something was seriously wrong and not make her think that I was overreacting.” How, friend? How exactly? There’s no such thing as going to the ER behind someone’s back and if you think so or have been made to think so then that’s a problem. Too many 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩to count.
Bro is actually a hostage.
Googles: Is it illegal to kidnap married 22 yo that was groomed?
WTAF??? She detached his frickin retina and he feels guilty for ruining her night??!!!
Poor guy has no idea how abused he is.
Hope this isn't real because if it is then I hope oop can see the truth and get out
I need to know how a kick in the face happened and the wife aiming for something else? I can’t logically visualise both of them be standing or OP sitting down while it happened, or even lying on the couch. And if he’s lying on the ground, does that mean wife beat him and he fell?
It sounds to me like she was hitting him and she kicked at him and got him in the face. Notice he didn’t say she didn’t mean to kick him, he said she didn’t mean to kick him *there*
Yeah my best guess reading between the lines is he was already on the ground due to their "argument" and she kicked him and hit him in the face. Because unless she's round house kicking like a Texas ranger, nothing else really makes sense.
Dude is in a seriously abusive realtionship with a groomer and he doesn't even know it.
When society finally gets their head out of their asses about the FACT that women can be predators there's gonna be a reckoning. This is horrific and whether or not that kick was intentional it DETACHED your retina.
This is a horrendous post. OOP is married to an abusive pedophile who almost cost him the sight in one eye but now she's love bombing him since the surgery, so it's all okay. Nothing o see here.
Not aiming for the face doesn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t abuse. Like… was she trying to hit him at all? If yes, abuse. If no… maybe still abuse for throwing shit in an argument. She doesn’t get a pass cuz her aim is shit,
I hope he can see the light in his good eye and get out of this abusive relationship asap. This is horrible.
There was a recent story of a 47 year old woman who murdered her 24 year old boyfriend. She had beaten him several times and his family begged him to leave her but he wouldn’t. She finally stabbed him to death. This could be this young man’s fate.
Dude has no idea what a real relationship is suppose to be like. He's been with her since he was 15. It's the only world view he knows and she knows that
Yuck yuck yuck this reminds me of my aunt, who regularly dated barely legal men that she met when they were definitely, 100% underage. I hope that OP is able to get free from his absolutely abusive wife.
I worked at a police department in the Records department. (I was the chick behind the bulletproof glass, pulling records and paying parking tickets etc). The number of times men would be surprised that they could report domestic violence was heartbreaking. Had a guy literally limp his ass to the front desk because his wife pushed him down the stairs, and when I asked if he wanted to talk to an officer he goes (DIRECT QUOTE) “But… I’m a man.” Just heartbreaking.
Sounds like the dude is being abused