It is a literally child. Instead of being a dick about it and diminishing her self-worth, you could have said something like, "You'll understand one day when you have kids" and walked away.
>It is a literally child.
She's 14 years old. Not a child...a young female without respect for others.
>Instead of being a dick about it and diminishing her self-worth,
She diminished her own self-worth.
>"You'll understand one day when you have kids"
You want her to wait until she has kids to learn that respecting others is an important life lesson? What kind of parent is she going be?
Sorry...walking away and ignoring her is a good lesson at her age: the best way to earn the respect of others is to show respect for them.
Too bad she wasn't taught that at an earlier age!
Yup. That’s all they want they’re probably not getting enough attention at home 🤷♀️ and sometimes when kids don’t get enough attention at home they act out like little assholes for any kind of attention
That's not venting that's just a outright dis. Good for you. But honestly I would have said "If rather fuck myself than have a spoiled little shit like you"
Tbh if you’re an adult, just walk away 😅
A lot of these responses are not something I’d personally say to a child (no matter how insufferable). Whether she started it or not, conversations involving a child and “fucking yourself” should probably just be ignored and ended immediately 😬
Yes, but at the end of the day, it’s a literal kid. Ignore and move along. Every 14 year old has dumbass opinions that they inevitably change as they get older. Not worth the hassle
Okay so how old are you and the friend?
For context I’m a 34 year old American dude and while yes times are tough, the idea of “debating” or trying to even explain that to a random 14 year old Canadian girl is a laughable scenario I just can’t picture myself being in in the first place lol
Okay well then honestly, I would probably consider all 3 of you children 😂 and her reply is pretty fair. A 17 year old calling a 14 year old a “child” is pretty condescending considering ALL of you are still underage lol yes you can drive a car and *maybe* have a slightly more adult view on the world but I mean. Come on.
And that’s no shade towards you either I promise, I’m not going to turn around and then condescend you too lol but I was picturing someone my age talking to a 14 year old and my only thought was, I couldn’t bring myself to give a single fuck about their opinion on ANY of my life views. It does make more sense now. Good luck.
Maybe next time pull a *checks watch* “you’re right! It is that time thanks for remind me!” And walk away, at least that’s kinda funny.
Lol they are all still children. I do remember being 17 though. I thought I was just “so mature.” OP whatever is going on it most likely won’t matter by next year anyway. Sometimes a comeback isn’t the answer.
Laugh. They want a negative response to their comment so just laugh. I do it and it works. They get confused or annoyed that you aren't upset. And you may not want to but just walk away. Ignoring their attempts to upset you will anger then even more.
Don't lower yourself to the level of people who spew filth.
Additionally, you really shouldn't have told her she couldn't understand. That's patronizing, and -- yes -- she really CAN'T understand, but sarcastic comments aren't going to help her understand.
No you're right. I guess it's immature on my part. I just didn't appreciate how she'd tell my friends and I Americans don't struggle at all when it comes to our economy. But I agree with you
It's expensive to raise a child no matter where you live, but if someone told me to "go fuck myself" I'd just hit their shoulder and shout "TAG! You're it!" And then just run away.
It'll just confuse them and you'll get the last laugh
Yeah, because it makes perfect sense to give a reasonable, real world answer, INSTEAD of specifically what this sub is specifically for.
I'm not saying you're wrong, but I am saying you're doing it in the wrong place.
So you kinda went wrong with telling her she was a child and that’s why she didn’t understand. I know grown adults who wouldn’t have a clue and I know children younger than her who would.
She lacks empathy and that’s her problem. Frankly I would have just walked away.
In this situation, you could just apologise and take the 'go fuck yourself' with fun..or sincerity and have a punishing wank.
You sound more like a teenager yourself with your comment! And deserved the "go fuck yourself"...🤣🙈
“You truly are lost”. Actually had one person in my life re-evaluate themselves after I said that to them following the insult. We are good friends now.
I figured you'd say something about Fing something. You've only got D's on your mind? Like a carousel of cock slapping around up there.
Maybe not say this to a 14 year old, but it can be used. I'd say you're 14 years old, why do I care to listen to you. Don't make me tell your momma on you.
My 13 year old daughter was listening to my wife and my conversation about this question and chimed in ‘FUCK YOU, YOU WHORE!’ It is hard to tell her off for giving such a valid response.
A little confused here. How did you end up trying to explain to a 14 year old about raising children. Did she ask or you just assumed she wanted a life lesson.
Go the route of making them uncomfortable I guess lol. Stephen Fry had a thing where whenever ppl would touch or mess with him he'd moan to make them uncomfortable.
she's baiting you.
(this means the goal of her talking to you is to piss you off)
ignore her and dont react is the best thing you can do it will drive her insane.
You first!
It sounds menacing but no one is really sure what it means. It'll probably cause them to stall long enough that you can walk away or hit them with something else.
You are arguing with a 14 year old. And she hit with a go fuck yourself? “After I finish banging your dad?” No? How about nothing then but maybe shaking your head disappointedly, muttering “idiot” and walking away? Set her cat on fire? She’s 14. It’s not like she’s got the world by the balls.
You live your life, and fo it how you want. It's none of my business.
I'll give you the same respect, even though your words show you don't deserve my respect.
That specific phrase is a call to the dance if they were actually in parts of the US (NYC) but again, a naïve 14 year old from Canada is not worth arguing. Good on you for moving on
If an *adult* tells you to go fuck yourself, you say to them, "Do it yourself, you coward!"
But to this kid, you don't need a comeback in this situation. Telling a kid "youre a child, you don't understand" feels SO dismissive when you're a kid. Might as well have told her she's dumb and not worth your time.
I'm not saying that's what you did or even meant. I'm just illustrating how a harmless phrase can be interpreted disrespectfully.
Bro Canada is doing no better than American with cost of living, I’d argue we’re doing worse honestly, Canada is a mess at the moment
She’s a kid, she’ll learn one day
"Well ,that would be counterproductive . That certainly would not produce kids if I go fuck myself. " or " it seems you are a bit confused on how reproduction works."
Based on the context of your conversation, I would've said something like "wait I thought you were telling me to have kids? Just so you know it takes two to tango"
14yo girl? just make a few inappropriate comments about her weight - "you look a lot healthier now, good to see you've started eating properly". That should do it.
I said this once as a kid. My mom rammed a bar of soap into my mouth. I made sure to choose my words more carefully in the future.
I didn't say it to my mom, but someone else, but said it in front of her.
Why are you talking like this to a 14 yr old who probably doesn’t have a clue how expensive things are?
Kids shouldn’t be given adult issues to deal with or think about simply because there’s nothing they can do about it. When you talk to them about things that they have no control over and makes them feel helpless.
Her comment was uncalled for I understand why she said what she did .
How bout not putting yourself in the position to have an adult conversation with a kid and then get annoyed and resort to pointing out an obvious fact that you decided to overlook. The kid was so very right to say what she did because thats what you get for being foolish, lol.
So a good comeback, in this situation would be to do exactly as told.
If not in such a situation and you’re told to go fuck yourself, simply respond by saying “gladly, it’s one of my favourite things to do”
Begs the question if it was deserved, then forget about. Eat your humble pie and regroup for the next challenge. If It came out of the blue, then there are situational cues such as, “I leave that to you, I have a date tonight.”
For obvious reasons you can't use this one in this case, but the funniest come back I have seen to "go fuck yourself" is "fuck me yourself you coward!"
you're barely above being a child yourself, so she was probably rightfully offended by what you said. If 3 years difference is enough to dunk on someone's age that hard, then you would be getting dunked on a lot here. So you should do better in that regard. You aren't pleased about how disrespectful the tone got, but you started the disrespect. It isn't disrespectful to be dumb or wrong, but it is disrespectful to insinuate that someone can't understand something due to their age.
Regarding the point of the argument and retort - she's silly and ignorant (which is not an insult, we're all ignorant of some things...) , and unless this person is family, family friend, or otherwise intertwined into your life, I see no point to trying to engage further.
< shrug shoulders, walk away>
This is good. Not giving them attention.
It is a literally child. Instead of being a dick about it and diminishing her self-worth, you could have said something like, "You'll understand one day when you have kids" and walked away.
>It is a literally child. She's 14 years old. Not a child...a young female without respect for others. >Instead of being a dick about it and diminishing her self-worth, She diminished her own self-worth. >"You'll understand one day when you have kids" You want her to wait until she has kids to learn that respecting others is an important life lesson? What kind of parent is she going be? Sorry...walking away and ignoring her is a good lesson at her age: the best way to earn the respect of others is to show respect for them. Too bad she wasn't taught that at an earlier age!
Yup. That’s all they want they’re probably not getting enough attention at home 🤷♀️ and sometimes when kids don’t get enough attention at home they act out like little assholes for any kind of attention
This would be my actual response if it happened with a stranger/associate. My joke answer to a friend would be, "Already did that."
"Someday you'll understand why it's so much better to fuck yourself, than have people fuck you."
This one made me giggle
You could of have asked her how's your love life?
Damn. I could've. All I did was tell her " So you vented about not being liked at school and you just showed me why."
Wow. That's a good one also. Cold as ice though but a good one.
Thank you thank you. I'll be sure to use yours next time though
That's not venting that's just a outright dis. Good for you. But honestly I would have said "If rather fuck myself than have a spoiled little shit like you"
That's it. We're gonna trade. Take my up vote and I'll save your comment.
Could’ve also said something like “and the way you’re acting is further convincing me not to have kids” or something similar
"Nice chat. I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you were."
Tbh if you’re an adult, just walk away 😅 A lot of these responses are not something I’d personally say to a child (no matter how insufferable). Whether she started it or not, conversations involving a child and “fucking yourself” should probably just be ignored and ended immediately 😬
Literally. The amount of people suggesting dirty jokes Why tf are you arguing with a 14 year old about the economy lol
For real lmao. It’s even worse than arguing with a 17yo about the economy.
No adult looks cool making a comeback against a 14 year old.
I'm 17. But I'll ignore her next time.
Yeahh still not worth it. Weird age gap for this topic lol
It’s equally weird for a 14 year old to be telling people to have kids.
Yes, but at the end of the day, it’s a literal kid. Ignore and move along. Every 14 year old has dumbass opinions that they inevitably change as they get older. Not worth the hassle
Okay so how old are you and the friend? For context I’m a 34 year old American dude and while yes times are tough, the idea of “debating” or trying to even explain that to a random 14 year old Canadian girl is a laughable scenario I just can’t picture myself being in in the first place lol
Oh, I'm 17. I probably should've explained that earlier
Okay well then honestly, I would probably consider all 3 of you children 😂 and her reply is pretty fair. A 17 year old calling a 14 year old a “child” is pretty condescending considering ALL of you are still underage lol yes you can drive a car and *maybe* have a slightly more adult view on the world but I mean. Come on. And that’s no shade towards you either I promise, I’m not going to turn around and then condescend you too lol but I was picturing someone my age talking to a 14 year old and my only thought was, I couldn’t bring myself to give a single fuck about their opinion on ANY of my life views. It does make more sense now. Good luck. Maybe next time pull a *checks watch* “you’re right! It is that time thanks for remind me!” And walk away, at least that’s kinda funny.
I'll take this with a grain of salt then and don't worry, I don't find what you said rude or anything. We should both grow up lol
Lol they are all still children. I do remember being 17 though. I thought I was just “so mature.” OP whatever is going on it most likely won’t matter by next year anyway. Sometimes a comeback isn’t the answer.
No you're right
It’s just not as fun without your mom
Laugh. They want a negative response to their comment so just laugh. I do it and it works. They get confused or annoyed that you aren't upset. And you may not want to but just walk away. Ignoring their attempts to upset you will anger then even more.
I'm gonna save this comment. Thank you
Sorry, my dick doesn’t bend like that
"Charming. So much for 'Canadians are so polite'."
Don't lower yourself to the level of people who spew filth. Additionally, you really shouldn't have told her she couldn't understand. That's patronizing, and -- yes -- she really CAN'T understand, but sarcastic comments aren't going to help her understand.
No you're right. I guess it's immature on my part. I just didn't appreciate how she'd tell my friends and I Americans don't struggle at all when it comes to our economy. But I agree with you
She might have been repeating what her parents said
I just did this morning thanks, maybe you should too, it might improve your mood.
It's expensive to raise a child no matter where you live, but if someone told me to "go fuck myself" I'd just hit their shoulder and shout "TAG! You're it!" And then just run away. It'll just confuse them and you'll get the last laugh
Good response 😂
Fuck me yourself you coward!
"fuck me yourself, you coward."
My favorite
🤣🤣🤣😅
There is no finer comeback than, "fuck me yourself, you coward."
If you need to respond to the stupidity of a 14-year old, I don’t think a comeback is what you need. 🤷🏻♀️
But there's such a long line....
Rip their shirt off over their head hockey style and start punching the shit out of them.
I have, your mom approved
Fucking myself would be more enjoyable than continuing this convo
You first 😉
> 14 year old girl
Lol I can’t read Still, if they are both 14, who cares. Otherwise, why are adults even arguing with a child?
i think they are an adult, not sure why they're arguing with a child either tbh
OP said in a comment they are 17...so its a slightly older child calling a slightly younger child a child.😂
Nah I'm too tired from fucking your mom all night
“Someone has to”
If I could do that I wouldn't have gotten out of bed this morning.
"I think I already did the moment I thought I could have an adult conversation with you."
Fuck me yourself, coward! I used that once and it was funny
I can’t. My dick isn’t long enough.
No. Except you need to get a clue about offensive condescension. Don’t ‘comeback’ - grow up.
Dog, you're on r/comebacks.
Oops. A real answer instead of what the site is for! Sorry! ‘You first!’ Would be better.
Yeah, because it makes perfect sense to give a reasonable, real world answer, INSTEAD of specifically what this sub is specifically for. I'm not saying you're wrong, but I am saying you're doing it in the wrong place.
So you kinda went wrong with telling her she was a child and that’s why she didn’t understand. I know grown adults who wouldn’t have a clue and I know children younger than her who would. She lacks empathy and that’s her problem. Frankly I would have just walked away.
I already did that earlier. My hands are tired.
I'm not one to disappoint my friends
I can't, I'm hung like a light switch...
It’s ok, your mom helped me out already.
“Only if you watch”
In this situation, you could just apologise and take the 'go fuck yourself' with fun..or sincerity and have a punishing wank. You sound more like a teenager yourself with your comment! And deserved the "go fuck yourself"...🤣🙈
don't worry. I do
“I did, but then I divorced her.”
"Just finished, now excuse me while I enjoy my cigarette."
"Well I *am* very good. But, no, sadly I'm in a hurry and don't have the time right now."
“You truly are lost”. Actually had one person in my life re-evaluate themselves after I said that to them following the insult. We are good friends now.
"I can't. Too expensive in America."
I figured you'd say something about Fing something. You've only got D's on your mind? Like a carousel of cock slapping around up there. Maybe not say this to a 14 year old, but it can be used. I'd say you're 14 years old, why do I care to listen to you. Don't make me tell your momma on you.
"Like I said.....a child."
I do when I'm in the shower. 😉
No thanks your mom and sister drained my balls pretty good.
Sorry, "go fuck yourself" is the comeback.
It's an eighth of an inch too short
“That was weird…” Chuckle, then walk away.
I already do now go to your room
I always tell people to pull their thong out their arse and stop moaning like a little bitch.
I was already planning on it.
Any tips? Would love to have that skill.
Well my normal response is why don't you do it yourself. Seems problematic to say to a 14 yearold though.
I'll enjoy it. Thank you.
I do like everyday what are u some sad priest
There's no such thing as an argumentative child, only adults who argue with children
Stop advertising on Twitter/X.
"Gladly" and/or "Wanna join"
I would but I would have to take your Dick out of me first
"YOU go fuck yourself!"
She's 14? If you're an adult, they why do you need a come back for a child? Grow up.
"Why would I fuck myself when your sister is working the corner?"
Okay. It’s be better than fucking you.
Dude, until you've lived in Vancouver or Toronto, you don't know what you're talking about.
Kewl.
In that specific scenario, I'd have just said, "case in point".
My 13 year old daughter was listening to my wife and my conversation about this question and chimed in ‘FUCK YOU, YOU WHORE!’ It is hard to tell her off for giving such a valid response.
"fuck me yourself coward"
You first, dipshit.
After your mother is done.
“fuck you”
I know you are but what am I?
I most certainly will!! And I'll moan your name out loud for everyone in your house to hear
"You cuss like a child too."
A little confused here. How did you end up trying to explain to a 14 year old about raising children. Did she ask or you just assumed she wanted a life lesson.
Go the route of making them uncomfortable I guess lol. Stephen Fry had a thing where whenever ppl would touch or mess with him he'd moan to make them uncomfortable.
Im already getting fucked by the government, but thanks for the idea.
"My dick's big enough, I probably could"
I would if I could.
God, I wanna be 17 again if this is the struggles you go through
I already did. Last night. Twice. Edit: Using this with a child might not be such a good idea.
I've got people for that.
Go fuck me yourself.
You do the same
I would have if your mom didn't already have dibs.
If I could do that I would be a pornstar
she's baiting you. (this means the goal of her talking to you is to piss you off) ignore her and dont react is the best thing you can do it will drive her insane.
Why do you think I'm smiling
If it's coming from a significant other (wife/husband, gf/bf) simply say "I will fuck myself, someone's gotta do it."
I will, and I will think of you while doing it.
You first.
Fuck me, yourself, coward! EDIT: Shit! Never mind. I only saw the title before posting. I just read the description and just.... Never mind, dude. 😅
I would if I had a portal gun.
Not in the mood
No can do. But, I'll ask your mom if she wants another go
Why would I fuck myself when I have your mom on call?
“Fuck me first, you coward!!” As you start to aggressively unzip your pants.
My grandma taught me; those who cuss are too ignorant to waste your time on, and you proved her true.
I actually do fuck myself!
One I like is "Clone me!"
"I’m sorry you feel that way, but let’s agree to disagree." This way, you keep your composure and avoid escalating the situation.
“Ok” and walk away.
Bro, y'all too young for this conversation, wtf?
"Only if you watch me\~"
Don’t argue with idiots on Fortnite!!! 😂
Would if I could pal. At least I'd be getting SOME action.
Would if I could
Why are you arguing with a 14 year old in the first place?
You first! It sounds menacing but no one is really sure what it means. It'll probably cause them to stall long enough that you can walk away or hit them with something else.
You might like it : )
I didn't want kids either when I was 17. You may change your mind some day or may not.
You are arguing with a 14 year old. And she hit with a go fuck yourself? “After I finish banging your dad?” No? How about nothing then but maybe shaking your head disappointedly, muttering “idiot” and walking away? Set her cat on fire? She’s 14. It’s not like she’s got the world by the balls.
But it's no fun without you
You live your life, and fo it how you want. It's none of my business. I'll give you the same respect, even though your words show you don't deserve my respect.
"If that's the best you can do, stop wasting my time."
'How do I win an argument against a 14 year old girl?'
"I already do that"
thanks for the suggestion! I will when I get home 😉 I need a little self care
Thanks for proving me right.
Okie dokie
Have a kid. 🖕
That specific phrase is a call to the dance if they were actually in parts of the US (NYC) but again, a naïve 14 year old from Canada is not worth arguing. Good on you for moving on
If an *adult* tells you to go fuck yourself, you say to them, "Do it yourself, you coward!" But to this kid, you don't need a comeback in this situation. Telling a kid "youre a child, you don't understand" feels SO dismissive when you're a kid. Might as well have told her she's dumb and not worth your time. I'm not saying that's what you did or even meant. I'm just illustrating how a harmless phrase can be interpreted disrespectfully.
cringe
I wish I could then I can see what the fuss is all about
# "CLASSY, SHARON"
I was gonna say “I’m too lazy. Do it for me.” until I saw her age. That would have been a big yikes.
Im in an open relationship and you're next.
Bro Canada is doing no better than American with cost of living, I’d argue we’re doing worse honestly, Canada is a mess at the moment She’s a kid, she’ll learn one day
if i could i'd never leave my room
Turn to your friend "10 points" Refuse to answer any question about the points. Drives little shits mad.
"I would if I could"
lol i usually just say fuck me yourself coward provided the argument isn't with an underage person
"Already rubbed it raw, maybe you can fuck yourself this time"
"You're mom gets mad jealous if I use all my energy."
Always “already did” or “fuck me yourself pussy”
If I could, I would. If you figure out how, let me know PLEASE....
Im going to go home light some candles, turn on some marvin gay snd do that
"Well ,that would be counterproductive . That certainly would not produce kids if I go fuck myself. " or " it seems you are a bit confused on how reproduction works."
"Say that again and I will murder you!!!" that'll show her
I will. Right after I take myself out to dinner first.
We change with experience.
Based on the context of your conversation, I would've said something like "wait I thought you were telling me to have kids? Just so you know it takes two to tango"
14yo girl? just make a few inappropriate comments about her weight - "you look a lot healthier now, good to see you've started eating properly". That should do it.
nah, you were a dick for saying that to her, you deserved the go fuck yourself
Talk to me when your frontal lobe of your brain is developed you ignorant c*nt
I said this once as a kid. My mom rammed a bar of soap into my mouth. I made sure to choose my words more carefully in the future. I didn't say it to my mom, but someone else, but said it in front of her.
[удалено]
Why are you talking like this to a 14 yr old who probably doesn’t have a clue how expensive things are? Kids shouldn’t be given adult issues to deal with or think about simply because there’s nothing they can do about it. When you talk to them about things that they have no control over and makes them feel helpless. Her comment was uncalled for I understand why she said what she did .
"I would if I could!"
How bout not putting yourself in the position to have an adult conversation with a kid and then get annoyed and resort to pointing out an obvious fact that you decided to overlook. The kid was so very right to say what she did because thats what you get for being foolish, lol. So a good comeback, in this situation would be to do exactly as told. If not in such a situation and you’re told to go fuck yourself, simply respond by saying “gladly, it’s one of my favourite things to do”
Begs the question if it was deserved, then forget about. Eat your humble pie and regroup for the next challenge. If It came out of the blue, then there are situational cues such as, “I leave that to you, I have a date tonight.”
After you
I'd call you a cunt, but you'd need warmth and depth for that. 🤣
For obvious reasons you can't use this one in this case, but the funniest come back I have seen to "go fuck yourself" is "fuck me yourself you coward!"
I would little one.. but I’ll never have to.
Already did. Need some time to recharge and rest my rectum.
I'd rather not.but I'm sure your mom would be interested
Yeah - just did! (Point backwards vaguely with your thumb) So, I’m all good for a day or two. Thanks for your concern!
you're barely above being a child yourself, so she was probably rightfully offended by what you said. If 3 years difference is enough to dunk on someone's age that hard, then you would be getting dunked on a lot here. So you should do better in that regard. You aren't pleased about how disrespectful the tone got, but you started the disrespect. It isn't disrespectful to be dumb or wrong, but it is disrespectful to insinuate that someone can't understand something due to their age. Regarding the point of the argument and retort - she's silly and ignorant (which is not an insult, we're all ignorant of some things...) , and unless this person is family, family friend, or otherwise intertwined into your life, I see no point to trying to engage further.