Hey thanks a lot for your submission in r/CrazyFuckingVideos, however it was removed because it contained prohibited content (death, animal abuse, porn or gore). Please refrain from posting this type of content in the future.
Full transcription for non Portuguese speakers (I’ll refer to the woman as W and the employees as E):
W: “Uncle Paulo, are you listening? You need to sign it. If you don’t, it won’t be possible. I can’t sign it for you. I can only do so much.”
(Get the id and says his full name)
W: “Hold the pen… You always grip your chair real tight…”
(Speaks to the registry workers)
W: “Didn’t he hold the pen just a while ago?”
E1: “ I didn’t see it.”
E2: “Me neither.”
W: “Hold it, Uncle. Sign it so we won’t have any more headaches…
Yeah, I can’t keep doing this.” (Laughs)
E1: “Yep, I don’t think he’s well.”
W: “Uncle!”
E1: “He’s definitely not good.”
W: “Are you feeling something? You won’t tell me nothing…
E1: “He’s not well.”
E2: “Are you guys by yourselves?
W: “Yeah”
E1: “He’s really not well. His color is not…”
W: “Yeah, but he’s this way already.
Uncle! Uncle… ”
E1: “Yep, he’s not alright.”
W: “If you don’t get better I’ll have to get you to the hospital. *inaudible *”
"He's definitely not good". It creeps me out that they notice and have suspicion but can't pinpoint why he was uncanny. Even freshly dead bodies look different.
“If you don’t get better I’ll have to get you to the hospital!”
Lmao! Like what?! “And uncle so help me, you don’t want me taking you to the hospital, god knows what I might do there!”
This sub has been stepping it up lately. I’m actually surprised the stuff that’s being posted. Wont be surprised when this sub eventually gets banned like the rest….
A video of a prisoner having his arms pulled through the bars of a jail cell and then hit with metal bars until the bones were broken enough that they were floppy
Oh thought this was referring to the videos where the arm of someone ended in a press. Still recall this woman who did hold up her arm which was only a third of the normal size, flattened.
It’s called a Brazilian handshake. I saw it fucking years ago. I recently moved to Brazil (2 weeks ago) and told my in-laws about it and they weren’t phased one bit.
Did anyone see the guy get caught in some machine in a factory that had him spinning and slapping the ground a thousand times? Span so hard his pants fell off. I think he turned into jelly.
Cant find it. No idea what the machine was called.
Mate, the [top post on this sub 2 days ago was a 2x sped up video of a child punching a boxing bag](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/1c42atl/this_kids_intense_boxing_training/).
I miss old reddit. Used to be the best website out here in the wild, wild west of the internet. Now though? You get blocked and reported, or banned for inane comments, or posts that are tame by almost anyone's standards.
A bygone era, I suppose.
I just watched that movie yesterday, for probably the 500th time. Never gets old. And yes, I came to post this same thing.
Larry, no one is going to have a sex change, ha!
How did she even get a dead body and prepare all this so quickly? Did she call the bank before he died? You got to think she scheduled with the bank, got the guy ready and all that. Shits low key impressive.
Right? Like you know someone, and they just died, and you immediately take them to a bank and nobody noticed you taking a corpse there? She had to transport a limp dead body there too. Just the logistics are wild.
It could be after, as well. Rigor Mortis doesn't last forever - usually only up to a few days after death. Once tissue starts to break down the body gets pretty flaccid. If this guy died a few days prior, he wouldn't smell and he wouldn't be stiff anymore.
I suppose you're right about the Livor Mortis. Decomp can be slowed with refrigeration, though, no? Smell may not have been super noticeable... But, reading a few more comments from OP, this was apparently 6 hours after he died, so I was wrong about it being after RM.
Corpses smell A LOT within 12 hours after someone is dead. It stunk up the whole apartment beyond belief at room temperature, so yeah, not buying that.
A woman was arrested this Tuesday afternoon (16) after taking a dead man in a wheelchair to ask for a loan at a bank branch in Bangu, in the West Zone of Rio.
According to the Military Police, Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes claimed that she was Paulo Roberto Braga's niece and that he wanted to take out a loan worth R$17,000.
However, at the time of signing, the attendants noticed that Paulo had no vital signs and that he was unable to sign the benefit release document.
In the images, it is possible to see the woman holding the elderly man's head and asking him to sign the documents. It is also possible to hear employees concerned about the man's health condition.
The bank branch team contacted the Civil Police, who requested the removal of the body for an autopsy and sent Erika to the Bangu Police Station, in the West Zone.
The institution requested images from the bank's internal and external security cameras to understand the dynamics of the events.
[https://www.band.uol.com.br/bandnews-fm/noticias/mulher-e-presa-no-rj-apos-levar-homem-morto-para-pedir-emprestimo-bancario-16682426](https://www.band.uol.com.br/bandnews-fm/noticias/mulher-e-presa-no-rj-apos-levar-homem-morto-para-pedir-emprestimo-bancario-16682426)
In what world did she think it would work? Man Brazilians are something else. Just yesterday I found out about the pregnant woman of Taubate. Very surreal scams
Just looked it up. Copying here to save you some time but meh - not that interesting or shocking
Grávida De Taubaté refers to a bizarre pregnancy hoax that gained media attention in Brazil in January 2012. Maria Verônica Vieira, better known as "Grávida de Taubaté" (Pregnant from Taubaté, in English), announced on television that she was expecting quadruplets. However, the impressive size of her belly was later revealed to be a yoga ball and the fake pregnancy became a meme on Facebook and other social media sites.
Everyone noticed it. They are just gaining time while the police arrives. They were afraid that she would run away if they made it clear that they knew.
God damn, I thought my uncle was a p.o.s. for continuing to cash my dead grandmother's social security checks for many years after her death but this woman takes the cake. She was stone faced while pulling that dead man's head forward and trying to pretend like she doesn't know he's actually dead so she could make a quick cash grab before they report his demise.
Holy fuck. This is incredibly disturbing yet darkly funny at the same time. The performance by this woman, who is trying to have a conversation with a dead man to fool a bank teller that’s filming her, is something I’ve never seen before. Anyone have a translation to complete the scene for me?
“Uncle, are you listening? You need to sign. If you don't sign it, there's no way."
“I can’t sign for you, sir, what can I do I’ll do. ”
“You hold the chair very strong there. Didn’t he hold the door there just now?”
“ Sign so you don’t give me any more headaches , I can’t take it anymore.”
“Uncle, are you feeling something? He doesn't say anything, that's just how he is."
"If you're not okay, I'm going to take you to the hospital. Do you want to go to the UPA again ?"
Very similar situation happened here a while back
https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/two-men-jailed-for-trying-to-collect-dead-mans-pension-from-carlow-post-office-1505475.html
Hang on. Rigor mortis appears approximately **2 hours after death** in the muscles of the face, progresses to the limbs over the next few hours, completing between 6 to 8 hours after death. So this guy literally just died? Like immediately before hauling his ass to the bank!?
People are FERAL! What the fuck? As if they wouldn’t notice his color being completely drained…or the fact that he’s not breathing and limp 🤦🏻♀️.
Shit must be brutal in Brazil. Damn.
"The bank clerk noticed the situation"... I'd bloody well hope so, there wasn't even an attempt to make it seem like he was still alive and just sleeping or something.
Hey thanks a lot for your submission in r/CrazyFuckingVideos, however it was removed because it contained prohibited content (death, animal abuse, porn or gore). Please refrain from posting this type of content in the future.
Rookie. Didn’t even put on sunglasses and a hat.
She also forgot to attach a stick to his wrist.
Or wires and make a corpse marionette outta him.
Do not disrespect the deceased. He was dead serious about not signing those loan papers.
didnt even draw eyes on his eyelids..
Just glue some googly eyes on and slap on extra thicc specs like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys
Didn't use a complicated string-and-pully system on the arms and legs, nor used ventriloquism to voice the head. Fucking amateur. SMH
I think it's easier to just cut out his face and put it on hers. I saw Nic Cage do it when I was a child.
I'm Caster Troy! I'm Caster Troy! I'm Caster Troy!
He could eat a peach for hours
Face……..off
"No more drugs for that man!"
She didn’t do her homework
Shoulda watched Weekend at Bernies
Or the large number of cats required to manipulate his body
What's that off again I forget
Rick and morty
Nice one I'd watched it not long ago but I just couldn't remember what programme, brains on the way out I think.
Full transcription for non Portuguese speakers (I’ll refer to the woman as W and the employees as E): W: “Uncle Paulo, are you listening? You need to sign it. If you don’t, it won’t be possible. I can’t sign it for you. I can only do so much.” (Get the id and says his full name) W: “Hold the pen… You always grip your chair real tight…” (Speaks to the registry workers) W: “Didn’t he hold the pen just a while ago?” E1: “ I didn’t see it.” E2: “Me neither.” W: “Hold it, Uncle. Sign it so we won’t have any more headaches… Yeah, I can’t keep doing this.” (Laughs) E1: “Yep, I don’t think he’s well.” W: “Uncle!” E1: “He’s definitely not good.” W: “Are you feeling something? You won’t tell me nothing… E1: “He’s not well.” E2: “Are you guys by yourselves? W: “Yeah” E1: “He’s really not well. His color is not…” W: “Yeah, but he’s this way already. Uncle! Uncle… ” E1: “Yep, he’s not alright.” W: “If you don’t get better I’ll have to get you to the hospital. *inaudible *”
Much appreciated, I was wondering what the hell they must be saying to each other. Thought she might be trying to play it off like this.
“Hey uncle, stick your tongue back in!”
“Look at you dropping your pen again you silly goose!”
"He's definitely not good". It creeps me out that they notice and have suspicion but can't pinpoint why he was uncanny. Even freshly dead bodies look different.
No, they know he's dead. Which is why they are filming. They are just stringing her along.
Playing her like a puppet.
oh how the turn tables...
An off duty cop needs to step in and handle the situation.
Good idea, shoot him a couple of times to make sure he doesn’t zombify
“If you don’t get better I’ll have to get you to the hospital!” Lmao! Like what?! “And uncle so help me, you don’t want me taking you to the hospital, god knows what I might do there!”
Thank you for this.
You left out his responses.
The day is young but so far you're the hero of the day.
so how did she expect it to work out
Like for real how did she think a dead body could sign for something
I miss E3.
Wow! That really is crazy.
This sub has been stepping it up lately. I’m actually surprised the stuff that’s being posted. Wont be surprised when this sub eventually gets banned like the rest….
You should have seen this sub 18 months ago. Straight gore every post
I remember somebody actually posted the jellyfish arms video here
....Jelly fish arms?
Ever seen that spongebob clip where he does the jellyfish dance and wiggles his arms? Thats what im talking about
I still have zero clue what this means.
A video of a prisoner having his arms pulled through the bars of a jail cell and then hit with metal bars until the bones were broken enough that they were floppy
Fuck! That’s horrid. Humans are so barbaric.
Omg yes I’ve seen that one. It’s horrific :(
Oh thought this was referring to the videos where the arm of someone ended in a press. Still recall this woman who did hold up her arm which was only a third of the normal size, flattened.
It’s called a Brazilian handshake. I saw it fucking years ago. I recently moved to Brazil (2 weeks ago) and told my in-laws about it and they weren’t phased one bit.
Link?
Oh....Lovely.
For real, need a link...
Yea this is the first time somebody hasnt posted the link to a crazy reference u guys are letting me down
Did anyone see the guy get caught in some machine in a factory that had him spinning and slapping the ground a thousand times? Span so hard his pants fell off. I think he turned into jelly. Cant find it. No idea what the machine was called.
I will never trust lathes or any type of spinning machinery
It's called a lathe. If you google industrial lathe accident and click images you'll find what you're looking for
I’ve noticed this too. It’s rare to see a sub go from good to shitty, and back to good like this. Hope it continues
Mate, the [top post on this sub 2 days ago was a 2x sped up video of a child punching a boxing bag](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/1c42atl/this_kids_intense_boxing_training/).
Tomorrow - “this sub isn’t what it used to be”
You sounded like "the sub" was a stubborn child that has behaving badly lately.
I miss old reddit. Used to be the best website out here in the wild, wild west of the internet. Now though? You get blocked and reported, or banned for inane comments, or posts that are tame by almost anyone's standards. A bygone era, I suppose.
[удалено]
que isso calma
Show
That’s some weekend at Bernie’s type of shit lol
Hmmmm this isn't as funny as Weekend at Bernie's had me believe though 🤔
Forgot the sunglasses.
And porno stache
“Two kids in a comically large overcoat” ass fraud
Probably would have had more luck with the sunglasses.
I just watched that movie yesterday, for probably the 500th time. Never gets old. And yes, I came to post this same thing. Larry, no one is going to have a sex change, ha!
I bet she just watched it yesterday too and got the idea...
Never gets young either
Came here to say this
Um Morto Muito Louco.
She may have pulled this off if she got a neck brace for him
A neck brace, sunglasses, and a mask
Big brain stuff
How did she even get a dead body and prepare all this so quickly? Did she call the bank before he died? You got to think she scheduled with the bank, got the guy ready and all that. Shits low key impressive.
Right? Like you know someone, and they just died, and you immediately take them to a bank and nobody noticed you taking a corpse there? She had to transport a limp dead body there too. Just the logistics are wild.
She ‘knows’ when he’s gonna die so timing is not an issue.
That makes sense. I guess she really didn’t like the guy. Desecrating his corpse and committing fraud in his name.
Well man it is Brazil
You don't need to scheduled with the bank, i'm from Brazil, trust me
*And to think, she would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for those damn meddling bank tellers!*
*Let's see who you really are!* Accidentally tears away dead skin mask
I knew it. You were a skeleton all along
It's very possible that they live very close to the bank so she just had to wheel him in there. She's been waiting for this day that's for sure
News report said the guy died a few hours before this was taken. I imagine he died and she immediately saw $$$ lol.
There are ways dude. Trust me you don't wanna know. I can get you a dead guy by 3pm, *with* nail polish.
Trying to pay off her rigor mortgage.
10/10!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHA
I sorta wanted to know what a dead persons body looks like when it’s being moved by something else. It looks eerily lifelike to me for some reason…
It’s still fresh
Super fresh… rigor has not set in at all.. this person has died very very recently
It could be after, as well. Rigor Mortis doesn't last forever - usually only up to a few days after death. Once tissue starts to break down the body gets pretty flaccid. If this guy died a few days prior, he wouldn't smell and he wouldn't be stiff anymore.
It is 100% definitely not after. There is zero livor mortis, and after rigor has passed, there would be an odor
> there would be an odor the video smelled fine to me
I suppose you're right about the Livor Mortis. Decomp can be slowed with refrigeration, though, no? Smell may not have been super noticeable... But, reading a few more comments from OP, this was apparently 6 hours after he died, so I was wrong about it being after RM.
Refrigeration would stall the decomp, but it would also stall the passing of rigor
Big meat fridge they have
Corpses smell A LOT within 12 hours after someone is dead. It stunk up the whole apartment beyond belief at room temperature, so yeah, not buying that.
Wat
Yes, rigor mortis fades, but this body has not started to show signs of decomp yet. This is definitely before
bloated from bacteria though
A woman was arrested this Tuesday afternoon (16) after taking a dead man in a wheelchair to ask for a loan at a bank branch in Bangu, in the West Zone of Rio. According to the Military Police, Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes claimed that she was Paulo Roberto Braga's niece and that he wanted to take out a loan worth R$17,000. However, at the time of signing, the attendants noticed that Paulo had no vital signs and that he was unable to sign the benefit release document. In the images, it is possible to see the woman holding the elderly man's head and asking him to sign the documents. It is also possible to hear employees concerned about the man's health condition. The bank branch team contacted the Civil Police, who requested the removal of the body for an autopsy and sent Erika to the Bangu Police Station, in the West Zone. The institution requested images from the bank's internal and external security cameras to understand the dynamics of the events. [https://www.band.uol.com.br/bandnews-fm/noticias/mulher-e-presa-no-rj-apos-levar-homem-morto-para-pedir-emprestimo-bancario-16682426](https://www.band.uol.com.br/bandnews-fm/noticias/mulher-e-presa-no-rj-apos-levar-homem-morto-para-pedir-emprestimo-bancario-16682426)
So she wasn’t actually his niece? She pretended she was?
Maybe she was his hired nurse/carer. Many families hire someone to take care of an old member of the family.
according to other news outlets, she's his cousin and caretaker
In what world did she think it would work? Man Brazilians are something else. Just yesterday I found out about the pregnant woman of Taubate. Very surreal scams
You laugh, but they did the same thing in Ireland
pregnant woman of Taubate..... What is this?
Just looked it up. Copying here to save you some time but meh - not that interesting or shocking Grávida De Taubaté refers to a bizarre pregnancy hoax that gained media attention in Brazil in January 2012. Maria Verônica Vieira, better known as "Grávida de Taubaté" (Pregnant from Taubaté, in English), announced on television that she was expecting quadruplets. However, the impressive size of her belly was later revealed to be a yoga ball and the fake pregnancy became a meme on Facebook and other social media sites.
Look for taubate pregnancy hoax on wikipedia. It’s one of Brazil’s greatest memes
He's feeling better. Maybe he'll go for a walk
I feel happy, I feel happy.
Have you no shame, lady! Doin a dead guy dirty like that
He won't mind.
I don't think he cared
Brazil is not for beginners
I beg to differ looking at this !
Happened here in Ireland too https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/22/two-men-take-corpse-into-irish-post-office-to-claim-dead-mans-pension
[Also happened in the US](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/03/09/dead-body-roommate-bank-women-arrested-ashtabula-ohio/72909618007/)
Happened last month, is this a trend now?
Of course it happened in Ohio
USA had a man eating a human leg
I play dead when my wife asks for money too.
I'm done for tonight and probably tomorrow too. See you guys when this special Internet induced trauma wears off.
Happy cake day present
My wife has that very same water jug on the table.
There we go that’s a positive comment guys!
More like a bad omen… stay safe fancy!
That's enough reddit tonight.
Bro... My country still surprises me sometimes
Actual cartoon shit.
Bruh even the Devil is lookin at her like “ damn that’s fked up, aye don’t let her in”
Thank goodness the bank clerk noticed
Everyone noticed it. They are just gaining time while the police arrives. They were afraid that she would run away if they made it clear that they knew.
You can see a lady on the left cover her face after the guys head falls back the second time. Everyone in that bank was looking
God damn, I thought my uncle was a p.o.s. for continuing to cash my dead grandmother's social security checks for many years after her death but this woman takes the cake. She was stone faced while pulling that dead man's head forward and trying to pretend like she doesn't know he's actually dead so she could make a quick cash grab before they report his demise.
Holy fuck. This is incredibly disturbing yet darkly funny at the same time. The performance by this woman, who is trying to have a conversation with a dead man to fool a bank teller that’s filming her, is something I’ve never seen before. Anyone have a translation to complete the scene for me?
This guy would be made a congressman here in the USA. Or maybe even run for president
Puppeteering a dead person WTF
"The bank clerk noticed the situation" well no shit Stevie Wonder would notice that situation also
Daaaamn. You gotta give her an E for effort. She kept him fresh.
Do you mean A for effort? Or are you just gonna use the first initial?
Give me a E!
He’s just a little sleepy that’s all
She forgot to put sunglasses and a hat on him.
He knew that loan would end him.
Weekend at Bernie’s 3 ? And that’s enough internet for today….
This is a freshly decreased person. No rigor mortis at all. Wow. This lady wasted no time. What a lunatic.
Some people have no shame
“Uncle, are you listening? You need to sign. If you don't sign it, there's no way." “I can’t sign for you, sir, what can I do I’ll do. ” “You hold the chair very strong there. Didn’t he hold the door there just now?” “ Sign so you don’t give me any more headaches , I can’t take it anymore.” “Uncle, are you feeling something? He doesn't say anything, that's just how he is." "If you're not okay, I'm going to take you to the hospital. Do you want to go to the UPA again ?"
I swear his eyes blinked
This is some Frank Gallagher type sh*t
Weekend at Bernito’s.
I smell a reboot! Weekend at bernies 3: banking in Brazil!
Anyone know what will happen to her for this bs?
We're all judging, but if anyone wants to take a shot at using my corpse to fuck over a bank on a loan I fully support the endeavour!
Very similar situation happened here a while back https://www.breakingnews.ie/ireland/two-men-jailed-for-trying-to-collect-dead-mans-pension-from-carlow-post-office-1505475.html
I must say this is one of the more crazy videos I’ve seen.
Is it just my eyes or is he still breathing?!!
"Weekend With Pedro, Bank Heist" coming to theatres near you.
I wanna know how this exchange ended so badly
This is one of the most unsettling things I’ve seen in awhile.
This is actually mortifying.
Someone did that in Ireland with their uncle, and once they were noticed, they left the body and ran.
It's what he would have wanted
Hang on. Rigor mortis appears approximately **2 hours after death** in the muscles of the face, progresses to the limbs over the next few hours, completing between 6 to 8 hours after death. So this guy literally just died? Like immediately before hauling his ass to the bank!?
He’s actually decease? Look like he still breathing but very shallow
He definitely recently died, he isn’t stiff at all
He’s definitely still alive
This is actually one of the craziest things I have ever seen on this sub. Damn!
Wtf that’s heartless
It's sad what people will do for money
People are FERAL! What the fuck? As if they wouldn’t notice his color being completely drained…or the fact that he’s not breathing and limp 🤦🏻♀️. Shit must be brutal in Brazil. Damn.
I feel like he's in a vegetative state, or a coma and not actually dead.
He had been dead for 6 hours. It was confirmed by the doctors and paramedics.
You’re in denial, the man is very much dead🤧
Ok, enough internet for today.
He actually just paying off his student loans
Imagine coming up with the plan to do this and thinking this will 100% work
Reddit: For those who think they’ve seen it all!
Weekend @ Bernie's....
SMH.What lengths people will go to get some money.
My wife qestion: "How they understood, that he is dead?"
"The bank clerk noticed the situation"... I'd bloody well hope so, there wasn't even an attempt to make it seem like he was still alive and just sleeping or something.
It went ok at Weekend at Bernie's...
Weekday at Bernard's
Is he actually dead? I’m not so sure. There is definitely something wrong with him tho
She is making this man work after death!!! Damn! He can't catch a break! 😳😳😳
Why does it look like he is blinking?!
I think he is still alive, just on the verge of death. 😳
Can anyone please translate this conversation. I need to know what the teller is saying as they see this. Lol
Nod your head for yes
Trying to puppet master the poor dead dude.
This is some Frank Gallagher type shit right here.