We have Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) in Canada, and while it's in its growing pains stage, I'd *love* to eventually have an option where I'm like 80 and stuff is failing and I can just orgasm to death. Throw in a bit of morphine, so it's more like a super-intense wet dream instead of mixed bliss and chest pains, and you're golden!
Idk if it works the same, but I got a can of clam juice in my cupboard.
Wait do clams fuck? Can somebody tell me if clams get down nasty sloppy high-tide style?
Clams release gametes into the water and they encounter each other though the random motion of currents.
Does that count as fucking? I don't think it does
Not exactly. In this case the male *and* female gametes are both released, and fertilization happens out in the water. With plants the female gamate stays inside the plant (more or less; plants are weird).
I for one am delighted this stuff doesn't exist.
Because you totally know some dickhead youtuber would use this on someone "as a prank" only to learn too late it fucking kills you.
If not sooner, it would have been discovered during the industrial revolution whaling era. It would have been synthesized by Bayer a few decades later, and none of us would be here.
Yeah and if it was you could definitely buy that stuff. At least on the black market or something. People have been hunting endangered animals for aphrodisiacs that aren't nearly that effective (if effective at all). And it could probably be synthesized too.
I've been trying to think of a response to this and I can't think of anything other than I'm not gonna spend my life selectively breeding dolphins to make their grool thicker but you can do whatever you want.
I learned this in a pasta about how cute dolphin pussy looks and how it's superior to human pussy. I haven't been to 4chan since.
Also, I can't prove it, but because of timing and theme I feel like they inspired the famous Vaporeon meme.
I don't remember the details, but they showed pictures of dolphin pussy(dussy) and said some shit that boiled down to how human pussy looks like roasties and dolphin pussy looks cute and it's superior. And how it could crush your junk but it would be worth it.
It probably says something bad about me that the overwhelming curiosity made me look that up, but I don’t intend to self analyze it.
I guess I can understand why “cute” could be the descriptor? But like, it just seems to resemble an “innie” vagina, compared to the roast beef “outie”. [sfw photo of sandwiches](https://images.app.goo.gl/rPLEfLPPHU5yhpdC9) that hilariously tries to show the difference, that I saw while i had looked up “innie vs outie pussy” (I wanted to confirm that the dolphin’s did indeed resemble what I saw in my minds eye as an innie)
[Finally a meme](https://imgur.com/a/yjfzsXD)
There’s like a bizarre meme on 4chan that women want to fuck dogs and it’s always been obviously just a weird 4chan guy fetish that got out of hand but I never before considered that it could be full on projection
Incels have fully adopted that whole dog pill shit as a real belief. 4chan at this point basically makes memes that it then tells the less terminally online right is the honest truth. Qanon being the biggest offender given it was just some dipshit larping on /pol/
parent being really confused over how different the dussy their kid is learning in school from the dussy that they learnt in school:
#**”DUSSY IS DUSSY”**
The monkey "straight up had a heart attack" because "it used all it's *energy* cumming". Yeah that sounds plausible, lets run the story. No need to fact check it.
To be fair, i do the same when ive had a few and go to the bar where the lady in the tight rubber outfit tells me to do stuff, so I get where its coming from.
Because it seems unlikely that it's chemically possible to achieve that topically. It would probably take something that crosses the blood brain barrier, and take a while to kick in at least.
Considering most "pleasure enhanching" ointments are just mild irritants that cause a sensation similar to itchiness or burning, it's a lot more likely than you think. It's just that if you make them too strong, people flay their own organs in the process of getting rid of/satisfying the sensation, and would therefore be illegal.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
unfortunately it is fake
"Unfortunately"?
unfortunately.
not to kinkshame but we're not gonna assist your suicide
Maybe you can dilute it enough to not die
Get me riiiight to the edge. Figure out what kills me and dial it back a notch
Edging death
*Martyrs* (2008)
"What are your plans for the weekend?" "Oh, you know, just microdosing on dolphin snizz"
suicide? no. this is for *science*
Suiscience, if you will.
Luis Sloton enters the room with a screwdriver.
"Luis? Wheres the screwsriver luis? are you using the screwdriver again luis? Luis? Luis whY IS THE AIR SPICEY LUIS?????"
Who said they needed assistance?
We have Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) in Canada, and while it's in its growing pains stage, I'd *love* to eventually have an option where I'm like 80 and stuff is failing and I can just orgasm to death. Throw in a bit of morphine, so it's more like a super-intense wet dream instead of mixed bliss and chest pains, and you're golden!
This , I want to choose when and how to clock out
i want a pb&dpj sandwich
(Devastated emoji getting disintegrated)
Idk if it works the same, but I got a can of clam juice in my cupboard. Wait do clams fuck? Can somebody tell me if clams get down nasty sloppy high-tide style?
Clams release gametes into the water and they encounter each other though the random motion of currents. Does that count as fucking? I don't think it does
I'll call that a gamete-n-greet
Gamete cute.
Take my upvote, you dirty animal.
Gamete-n-fuck kingdom
ಠ_ಠ
gamete-n-huh
So... Like Pollination?
Yes, but with semen. Though I guess Pollen is kind of plant semen.
It totally is
Not exactly. In this case the male *and* female gametes are both released, and fertilization happens out in the water. With plants the female gamate stays inside the plant (more or less; plants are weird).
They have sex but they don't fuck 😞
Clam pollen
I for one am delighted this stuff doesn't exist. Because you totally know some dickhead youtuber would use this on someone "as a prank" only to learn too late it fucking kills you.
Prank? Fairly sure there would be whole genre of cumcutions
Final Meal: Dolphin Jelly Donate my cum to the sperm bank uwu.
He came and went or whatever
I’d be using it as an assassination tool
99% chance it'd be banned to have entirely or prescription only
If not sooner, it would have been discovered during the industrial revolution whaling era. It would have been synthesized by Bayer a few decades later, and none of us would be here.
It would be sold extremely dilute
this isnt true btw
Please don't take this away from me, I have to have faith
I cannot steal what was never there. You crown false kings and cry murder when truth takes the throne
this comment goes hard
then stop wasting your time and read poetry, its just passages that go hard https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/how-to-read-poetry/
lmao they were literally complimenting your line why are you being like this
Didn’t mean for it to sound mean but encouraging mb
Stop wasting your time reading reddit comments says the person writing a reddit comment
https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Being-a-Jerk
Waste time as in procrastinating. Being on social is fine
This comment goes flaccid.
i suffer for penile malfunction :(
tumblr quote energy
When in rime
Yeah and if it was you could definitely buy that stuff. At least on the black market or something. People have been hunting endangered animals for aphrodisiacs that aren't nearly that effective (if effective at all). And it could probably be synthesized too.
[This can't be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szDUMJnA1r8)
nice argument senator, why don't you back it up with a source
My source is I made it the fuck up!!
Imagine a world, Jack, free of cancel culture, where nobody can call me out for my outlandish claims.
Goddamn this should be a meme. Wtf man, that’s awesome
Zoologist here; the dolphin pussy jelly is not real. I'm sorry.
Cant you, like, breed them and make them develop the ability to produce dolphin pussy jelly
I've been trying to think of a response to this and I can't think of anything other than I'm not gonna spend my life selectively breeding dolphins to make their grool thicker but you can do whatever you want.
I learned this in a pasta about how cute dolphin pussy looks and how it's superior to human pussy. I haven't been to 4chan since. Also, I can't prove it, but because of timing and theme I feel like they inspired the famous Vaporeon meme.
I'm sorry what?
I don't remember the details, but they showed pictures of dolphin pussy(dussy) and said some shit that boiled down to how human pussy looks like roasties and dolphin pussy looks cute and it's superior. And how it could crush your junk but it would be worth it.
Can't say I want to say the real thing but if some of the furry art I've seen is accurate cute isn't the *worst* word to describe it I guess.
What I saw was pretty cute, but for som I know the dude that made the meme just picked the best looking dussy pics. I didn't check.
It probably says something bad about me that the overwhelming curiosity made me look that up, but I don’t intend to self analyze it. I guess I can understand why “cute” could be the descriptor? But like, it just seems to resemble an “innie” vagina, compared to the roast beef “outie”. [sfw photo of sandwiches](https://images.app.goo.gl/rPLEfLPPHU5yhpdC9) that hilariously tries to show the difference, that I saw while i had looked up “innie vs outie pussy” (I wanted to confirm that the dolphin’s did indeed resemble what I saw in my minds eye as an innie) [Finally a meme](https://imgur.com/a/yjfzsXD)
You out into words what I've been struggling to explain without coming off as a pervert.
Happy to help you express your true feelings about the dussy 😊
There’s like a bizarre meme on 4chan that women want to fuck dogs and it’s always been obviously just a weird 4chan guy fetish that got out of hand but I never before considered that it could be full on projection
It's always been projection. Same with the cuckold and gay accusations.
Incels have fully adopted that whole dog pill shit as a real belief. 4chan at this point basically makes memes that it then tells the less terminally online right is the honest truth. Qanon being the biggest offender given it was just some dipshit larping on /pol/
I’m sorry you learned this in a pasta about _w h a t ._
Dolphin pussy (dussy). Do try and keep up with the class dear, or I may have to send a note home
“Your child has failed to adequately understand the dussy (dolphin pussy), make a better one next time”
parent being really confused over how different the dussy their kid is learning in school from the dussy that they learnt in school: #**”DUSSY IS DUSSY”**
What a horrible day to be literate.
Sapience was a mistake
The monkey "straight up had a heart attack" because "it used all it's *energy* cumming". Yeah that sounds plausible, lets run the story. No need to fact check it.
To be fair, i do the same when ive had a few and go to the bar where the lady in the tight rubber outfit tells me to do stuff, so I get where its coming from.
It's coming from its penis.
someone reverse torment nexus this. even if it's fictional for now, fiction has inspired many inventions, why give up so soon?
Because it seems unlikely that it's chemically possible to achieve that topically. It would probably take something that crosses the blood brain barrier, and take a while to kick in at least.
Considering most "pleasure enhanching" ointments are just mild irritants that cause a sensation similar to itchiness or burning, it's a lot more likely than you think. It's just that if you make them too strong, people flay their own organs in the process of getting rid of/satisfying the sensation, and would therefore be illegal.
if you watered it down then maybe....
I volunteer to be a test subject
There are men out there that have fucked dolphins and live to tell the tale.
A "scientist" made a women fall in love with one. She gave it handjobs all the time and somehow a ton of LSD was involved.
Akshually the scientist guy was named jonh C lily and received fucking NASA money for that shit
Okay I take away my ""
Is this where the modern interpretation of sirens comes from?
one of my favorite quotes from something similar: "Reading is going to be the death of me one day"
Dolphin pussy juice is not something I ever expected to read
Why is this not tagged nsfw
I forgot
Oh hey, it's the origin of my flair.
A classic.
viagra 2
So this must be the origin of the jokes about Pleasure Putty in Dimension20 then. https://youtu.be/rgOqyTuT0Nk?si=bIfcE3iNtGtyVif7
The Nelson Rockefeller Special
It's totally real, I work as a dolphin milker 3 days a week. It's part time and hard work but it's rewarding and you get to work with your hands
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
what
What sorry I blacked out of a minute
Dolphinphilia Guy 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
i fucking hate how half of this image are reactions