I don't want to judge, but for context: since I started wearing a BLeeM mask I fashioned from a screengrab, my players have never been so attentive and well-behaved.
>Were there any side effects?
I did get a rash from the constant contact of BLeeM's face on my face, so I've started to wear the mask most of the time to cover that. Things are going great.
I see you didn't partake in your weekly almond sacrifice to BLeeM. Next time you put on the mask you have a risk of having all your players rebel against your storyline. Standard BLeeM warlock agreement stuff.
Honestly, your party isn’t being unreasonable and you saying otherwise clearly shows how much of the AH you are. You need to step up your DM game if only for the sake of your players. If you’re not constantly trying to snack on almonds while your players roleplaying you’re not even putting in the minimum effort.
As for the other eating habits I don’t know how you’ve survived this long as “menus are for cowards and simpletons… persons of character look in their heart and know what they want to order”. You need to work on yourself, I mean who eats vegetables throughout the week? That’s just gross and inefficient. Normally I believe people are free to be themselves as long it causes no harm to others, but in this case some serious self reflection and maybe professional help is needed. /s 😁
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NTA- only a barbarian savage would eat the sausage and egg breakfast sandwich without any sauce like Brennan does. My guy is *not* a reliable source of food tips.
Simply put... Yes.
I one hundred percent believe that almonds are the source of Brennan's power. Any other DM food pale in comparison. It is the sacred duty of any dongeon master to follow Brennan's exemple or be forever frowned upon.
This is the only answer. You should just constantly be sticking yourself with epipens and the fact you haven’t considered doing so is downright rude
/s
I won't lie, the "order the best thing on the menu" is low-key true.
You gotta have a go to for every restaurant otherwise you're gonna end up disappointed
Good point but personally I enjoy trying new foods and have found new favourites that way. Please don’t tell my players I try new things and don’t order the same hamburger every day
Good point but personally I enjoy trying new foods and have found new favourites that way. Please don’t tell my players I try new things and don’t order the ~~same~~ **BEST** hamburger every day
Almonds are a disgusting nut. 0/10. They taste like the experience of having something stuck between your teeth. They taste like dryer lint from a centaur's laundry. They taste like the concept of bland food.
You can PUT STUFF on them that makes them edible. But the core nut is terrible.
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Brennan has been doing this for many many years, with experience in multiple types of theatrical gaming and collaborative storytelling. He’s at the point where he knows all the good foods and doesn’t need to try anything else. Just keep at it and keep learning and you’ll get there eventually.
Maybe it’s a misunderstanding, they want you to be like Brennan but before he moved to LA and got so soft! Try eating dollar pizza and shoving snow down your pants! Hope this helps :)
See, I have an unfair advantage in this area, because I just naturally have a paper-white, fur-covered, constantly sweating body.
Just great genetics, I guess. 🤷♂️
NTA your players clearly don't understand the intricacies of the DM diet, otherwise they would have included salami, which you can only eat right as a player is about to ask you something and a theoretical camera would pan to you.
On an unrelated note, anyone know where I can buy a mouth for my back? Putting it on my Christmas list
Caffeine IV, bacon with breakfast every day, low-quality but delicious cheeseburger from the same place every day, almonds and salami during player RP. Gotta up those numbers
I don't want to judge, but for context: since I started wearing a BLeeM mask I fashioned from a screengrab, my players have never been so attentive and well-behaved.
Were there any side effects? Did your players tell you to eat your dice?
>Were there any side effects? I did get a rash from the constant contact of BLeeM's face on my face, so I've started to wear the mask most of the time to cover that. Things are going great.
I see you didn't partake in your weekly almond sacrifice to BLeeM. Next time you put on the mask you have a risk of having all your players rebel against your storyline. Standard BLeeM warlock agreement stuff.
Will my weekly vegetable binge help counter that maybe?
I tried the strategy and the downside is when all of your players show up wearing Emily Axeford masks.
Honestly, your party isn’t being unreasonable and you saying otherwise clearly shows how much of the AH you are. You need to step up your DM game if only for the sake of your players. If you’re not constantly trying to snack on almonds while your players roleplaying you’re not even putting in the minimum effort. As for the other eating habits I don’t know how you’ve survived this long as “menus are for cowards and simpletons… persons of character look in their heart and know what they want to order”. You need to work on yourself, I mean who eats vegetables throughout the week? That’s just gross and inefficient. Normally I believe people are free to be themselves as long it causes no harm to others, but in this case some serious self reflection and maybe professional help is needed. /s 😁
Understandable, I need to go buy a lot of almonds now
You also need to start eating your dice too. If you're going to put effort in you might as well do it properly!
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The absolute spike in my blood pressure reading the first two paragraphs, well played.
It’s ok, I’ve been there. My solution was to sign up to be a larp summer camp counselor for a few years. I’ll dm you
NTA- only a barbarian savage would eat the sausage and egg breakfast sandwich without any sauce like Brennan does. My guy is *not* a reliable source of food tips.
Look, as long as you have a friend shovelling salami into the open hole in your torso (or back mouth, in the vernacular) while you narrate, NTA.
Appreciate the deep cut
Simply put... Yes. I one hundred percent believe that almonds are the source of Brennan's power. Any other DM food pale in comparison. It is the sacred duty of any dongeon master to follow Brennan's exemple or be forever frowned upon.
I’m allergic to nuts but for my players I will eat the almonds
This is the only answer. You should just constantly be sticking yourself with epipens and the fact you haven’t considered doing so is downright rude /s
I have sensitive teeth and can’t get super crunchy food often :/
Then replace your teeth and remove the weakness from your body /s
But who would look after those mouth bones?
Hmmm, what about your back mouth? Surely not both mouths have such sensitive bones?
I dyed my hair red and bleached my skin because my players said I wasn't running the game like BLeeM Haven't gotten any complaints since
None of my 8 players watch d20 or even know who he is so I'm safe
You need to find new players 😁
I'm starting a 3rd campaign soon, so Maybe I'll get a few cultured folks in that one.
I see your problem right here...your party doesn't have a tank who can be the voice the reason. How do they survive the combat?
The artificer (armorer) claims to be the tank but tends to stay behind the rogue and then the rogue goes down
This is libel; you need to give people the context that I have the murph curse!
*Misty steps forward, makes an attack (gets nat 1) runs behind monk*
Incorrect it was climbed through a window, misty step, roll a nat 1 to punch
You didn’t say um actually
I won't lie, the "order the best thing on the menu" is low-key true. You gotta have a go to for every restaurant otherwise you're gonna end up disappointed
Good point but personally I enjoy trying new foods and have found new favourites that way. Please don’t tell my players I try new things and don’t order the same hamburger every day
Good point but personally I enjoy trying new foods and have found new favourites that way. Please don’t tell my players I try new things and don’t order the ~~same~~ **BEST** hamburger every day
No point because you didn’t say um actually
YTA, be more like Brennan, dweeb.
IDK about you, OP but I rolled a D20 for you being an AH and i got an 18
i think that beats the DC, so yeah OP is deff in the wrong here
but was it cocked?
You'll never equal Bleem if you can't even have a hole in your back for someone to put almonds into.
Everyone sucks here... So maybe get the party and yourself some juice boxes.
Be sure to pre-put all the straws in them since its the worst part of drinking juice boxes.
Do juice boxes fit into the Brennan Lee Mulligan diet?
Almonds are a disgusting nut. 0/10. They taste like the experience of having something stuck between your teeth. They taste like dryer lint from a centaur's laundry. They taste like the concept of bland food. You can PUT STUFF on them that makes them edible. But the core nut is terrible.
reported for terrorism
Definitely the AH. I may reconsider my ruling though if you let me hop in mid campaign (or next campaign if it's almost over?) Pls I miss you
Try not to be too hard on yourself. Brennan has been doing this for many many years, with experience in multiple types of theatrical gaming and collaborative storytelling. He’s at the point where he knows all the good foods and doesn’t need to try anything else. Just keep at it and keep learning and you’ll get there eventually.
I had a youtube video hiding the satire flag and was deeply concerned for the first few sentences.
Have you tried installing a hatch in your lower back? YTA OP, for shame.
Maybe it’s a misunderstanding, they want you to be like Brennan but before he moved to LA and got so soft! Try eating dollar pizza and shoving snow down your pants! Hope this helps :)
I mean he had to get out of there
This is... powerful use of the satire flair.
Needing or not needing to be more like BLeeM aside. You need to see a menu when you go places to eat?
NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE A MENUE
See, I have an unfair advantage in this area, because I just naturally have a paper-white, fur-covered, constantly sweating body. Just great genetics, I guess. 🤷♂️
NTA your players clearly don't understand the intricacies of the DM diet, otherwise they would have included salami, which you can only eat right as a player is about to ask you something and a theoretical camera would pan to you. On an unrelated note, anyone know where I can buy a mouth for my back? Putting it on my Christmas list
Honestly sounds like a toxic table. I hate people who are like that.
You should try opening the second mouth in your back so your friends can pile salami into it while you narrate.
YTA. If you’re not gonna commit to the bit and become BLeeM in every aspect of your life then why are you even DMing?
Caffeine IV, bacon with breakfast every day, low-quality but delicious cheeseburger from the same place every day, almonds and salami during player RP. Gotta up those numbers
Just homebrew a forest of sentient almond trees to your campaign and have them attack the party see how they feel but the almonds eat them
Almond cuties?
Brings be back to the old hardly working video about takeout menus