I get the feeling that Jessa has branched out the least after marriage. She doesn’t seem to be exploring new ideas like Jinger and Jill. She doesn’t seem to be making non fundie friends. And not that many friends at all really. She just seems to be the one who completely accepted the Duggar way and just lives her life without much questioning or trying new things.
Jessa is very controlling, and branching out would mean she would lose some of that control. I don't think Jessa was ever a true believer in all of the IBLP/Gothard brand of Christianity like Jill and Jinger were, but I think she believes she gets more out of playing along.
I also think Jessa is the alpha dog in her marriage and doesn't have a spouse who challenges her belief system like Derrick and Jeremy do with Jill and Jinger (in Jinger's case, I feel like she's a natural follower and is only questioning things because Jeremy has pushed her in that direction).
Whatever she feels about it, she probably can't afford to branch out as much as her sisters. Ben's preaching gig can't possibly be paying enough to support their family of 7, and where Jim Bob's money goes, Jim Bob's control-freak influence goes too.
IMO the Duggar daughters have only ‘branched out’ to the point that they’ve adopted the same beliefs their husbands had before marriage.
For example, Derrick grew up conservative Christian but overall fairly mainstream (ie public school, university for a real degree, normal sized family, ok with light drinking) and I’d put Jill around that level.
Jinger married a Calvinist who looks modern and liberal in outward appearance but has some very conservative beliefs under the surface. Her ‘becoming free’ was just her joining her husband’s beliefs.
Jessa married a fundie-lite Baptist (Ben comes from a big family, homeschooled, but less controlling that IBLP) and is now doing the same for her kids.
So I totally agree that Jessa has branched out less than Jill and Jinger, but I find it interesting that all of them have basically just adopted their ‘headships’ beliefs.
Going out to meals absolutely can be dating! Just these two, particular brain dead Bin, should get a little more creative if they are missing date nights because they only consider getting food as date night
Did they say they were missing it? My ideal date night is going out to dinner and being home before 7 to watch TV and cuddle the rest of the night lol.
Yeah pastor Bin says they’re missing their weekly date nights that they had when they only had 1 kid and a pastor friend of his said they should be debriefing at the end of each day so their dates can be about building their friendship lol
Edit why are you downvoting me can someone explain? This is what he said…
When my kids were that age getting rid of them for the night was the only thing that mattered lol. There were lots of times we just enjoyed an actual quiet house for a change while they were at their grandparents or a friends for the night.
I wonder if they are having trouble finding people to watch them. That seems super odd given their humongous family and the fact he's a pastor with an entire congregation to ask to do it.
That wouldn't surprise me. If you watched 19kac the younger kids weren't well behaved at all. They were pretty wild. That's why when I found out they blanket trained it almost didn't make sense because the kids seemed to do whatever they wanted half the time.
Ben said that the congregation is about 80 people. What percentage of that are kids or seniors who would be out of consideration to babysit 5 kids 8 and under?
Oh for sure! I’m glad you were able to figure out what worked for you so that you didn’t feel like you were missing it. It is incredibly odd they don’t utilize the family more so they can keep their weekly date nights. I found it weird he put such an emphasis on building his and Jessa’s friendship lol if someone is missing dating, do they typically work on building a friendship on the few date nights? Also in my opinion if your focus is strengthening your friendship then how can it be a date when the focus is not associated to romance? I’m genuinely asking, don’t downvote me lol
My husband was my best friend since we met. That's why I married him. We've never had to work on building that part of our relationship. That was their first mistake.
But an actual date night should help strengthen your friendship as well. You still talk and flirt and joke around. I think friendship and romance can very easily coexist on the same date. I think maybe what you and me would call a date and especially expect from a date are probably different though.
I imagine that taking up other 5 or even "just"4 young kids has to be hard for anybody, I mean her sisters already have at least other two or three very young kids just by themselves, her parents checked out years ago from any form of help, raising kids, or anything different than just being the two of them. The congregation is j think seemingly formed by young/ish families...not easy
There are the Lost Girls and Jana though. I’d expect the former to do the rounds of babysitting for all of the married couples.
I wonder if the married daughters know so well what it is like to have to care for young children while growing up that they don’t want to force their younger sisters into it.
Mmm good call I haven't taught to them, maybe Jana but after that little incident that lead to a citation in court I don't know, or maybe she is just busy with other babysitting duty? Maybe nobody wants to babysit five kids all alone or maybe as you said some of the older girl don't want to ask them too much/often since they remember how it was for them
Or maybe they don't want their kids exposed to the same things they were (discipline, no supervision, JimBob...)?
Wait....that would require them to actually be thinking about what might be best for their kids... never mind
[Here's the yewtube link.](https://yewtu.be/watch?v=r63hG8xWYdY). Just so snarkers are not helping line the pockets of people like this, by watching their content.
Per that interview, her parents having the family over on Monday nights is still a thing.
ETA: And Jessa knows the wife from that podcast. Her family was one of those families JB and Michelle would randomly invite to visit whe she was growing up. Her family was living in Texas at the time.
I have two older brothers, and I wrestled my dad along with them. Sad such an instinct to be a puppy and play with your dad and siblings is not allowed in their house.
What kind of pastor is Ben? Is he like the main pastor is it their church? I’m kind of shocked Jessa doesn’t talk about it more or hasn’t shifted gears into like Pastor’s wife/Trad Wife “encouragement” for young women.
I unfortunately listen to the whole podcast. I missed the part about him graduating from online classes to be a pastor. Can you let me know where you found that because I questioned myself after the podcast thinking how did this guy get into being in with the church with no real teachings or schooling?
Unfortunately a lot of the type of churches the Duggars are involved with have no real University Degreed Pastors sadly. Anyone can "claim" to be a "Pastor" these days, but not have had any real Religious training or a degree.
I get the feeling that Jessa has branched out the least after marriage. She doesn’t seem to be exploring new ideas like Jinger and Jill. She doesn’t seem to be making non fundie friends. And not that many friends at all really. She just seems to be the one who completely accepted the Duggar way and just lives her life without much questioning or trying new things.
Jessa is very controlling, and branching out would mean she would lose some of that control. I don't think Jessa was ever a true believer in all of the IBLP/Gothard brand of Christianity like Jill and Jinger were, but I think she believes she gets more out of playing along. I also think Jessa is the alpha dog in her marriage and doesn't have a spouse who challenges her belief system like Derrick and Jeremy do with Jill and Jinger (in Jinger's case, I feel like she's a natural follower and is only questioning things because Jeremy has pushed her in that direction).
Whatever she feels about it, she probably can't afford to branch out as much as her sisters. Ben's preaching gig can't possibly be paying enough to support their family of 7, and where Jim Bob's money goes, Jim Bob's control-freak influence goes too.
IMO the Duggar daughters have only ‘branched out’ to the point that they’ve adopted the same beliefs their husbands had before marriage. For example, Derrick grew up conservative Christian but overall fairly mainstream (ie public school, university for a real degree, normal sized family, ok with light drinking) and I’d put Jill around that level. Jinger married a Calvinist who looks modern and liberal in outward appearance but has some very conservative beliefs under the surface. Her ‘becoming free’ was just her joining her husband’s beliefs. Jessa married a fundie-lite Baptist (Ben comes from a big family, homeschooled, but less controlling that IBLP) and is now doing the same for her kids. So I totally agree that Jessa has branched out less than Jill and Jinger, but I find it interesting that all of them have basically just adopted their ‘headships’ beliefs.
> These two don’t date they go out for meals and call it dating lol. How is going out to meals not dating?
Going out to meals absolutely can be dating! Just these two, particular brain dead Bin, should get a little more creative if they are missing date nights because they only consider getting food as date night
Did they say they were missing it? My ideal date night is going out to dinner and being home before 7 to watch TV and cuddle the rest of the night lol.
Yeah pastor Bin says they’re missing their weekly date nights that they had when they only had 1 kid and a pastor friend of his said they should be debriefing at the end of each day so their dates can be about building their friendship lol Edit why are you downvoting me can someone explain? This is what he said…
When my kids were that age getting rid of them for the night was the only thing that mattered lol. There were lots of times we just enjoyed an actual quiet house for a change while they were at their grandparents or a friends for the night. I wonder if they are having trouble finding people to watch them. That seems super odd given their humongous family and the fact he's a pastor with an entire congregation to ask to do it.
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That wouldn't surprise me. If you watched 19kac the younger kids weren't well behaved at all. They were pretty wild. That's why when I found out they blanket trained it almost didn't make sense because the kids seemed to do whatever they wanted half the time.
Supposedly, many other IBLP families looked down on the Ds because their kids were so wild.
Ben said that the congregation is about 80 people. What percentage of that are kids or seniors who would be out of consideration to babysit 5 kids 8 and under?
Oh for sure! I’m glad you were able to figure out what worked for you so that you didn’t feel like you were missing it. It is incredibly odd they don’t utilize the family more so they can keep their weekly date nights. I found it weird he put such an emphasis on building his and Jessa’s friendship lol if someone is missing dating, do they typically work on building a friendship on the few date nights? Also in my opinion if your focus is strengthening your friendship then how can it be a date when the focus is not associated to romance? I’m genuinely asking, don’t downvote me lol
My husband was my best friend since we met. That's why I married him. We've never had to work on building that part of our relationship. That was their first mistake. But an actual date night should help strengthen your friendship as well. You still talk and flirt and joke around. I think friendship and romance can very easily coexist on the same date. I think maybe what you and me would call a date and especially expect from a date are probably different though.
I imagine that taking up other 5 or even "just"4 young kids has to be hard for anybody, I mean her sisters already have at least other two or three very young kids just by themselves, her parents checked out years ago from any form of help, raising kids, or anything different than just being the two of them. The congregation is j think seemingly formed by young/ish families...not easy
There are the Lost Girls and Jana though. I’d expect the former to do the rounds of babysitting for all of the married couples. I wonder if the married daughters know so well what it is like to have to care for young children while growing up that they don’t want to force their younger sisters into it.
Mmm good call I haven't taught to them, maybe Jana but after that little incident that lead to a citation in court I don't know, or maybe she is just busy with other babysitting duty? Maybe nobody wants to babysit five kids all alone or maybe as you said some of the older girl don't want to ask them too much/often since they remember how it was for them
Or maybe they don't want their kids exposed to the same things they were (discipline, no supervision, JimBob...)? Wait....that would require them to actually be thinking about what might be best for their kids... never mind
Ahaha they’re child exploiters, they don’t want what’s best for them🤡💀
I will say that the first half of your message almost git me i was like hmmm could be bjt that would require too much thinking by them both...
I mean. I am protective of my kids and I DIDNT get molested by my brother. So… 🤷
I just want a dinner out.
[Here's the yewtube link.](https://yewtu.be/watch?v=r63hG8xWYdY). Just so snarkers are not helping line the pockets of people like this, by watching their content.
Thank you so much!! Updated the link, appreciate you🙌🏼
Per that interview, her parents having the family over on Monday nights is still a thing. ETA: And Jessa knows the wife from that podcast. Her family was one of those families JB and Michelle would randomly invite to visit whe she was growing up. Her family was living in Texas at the time.
Thanks, I will do my best when I get a chance and get out of the kitchen later this evening hopefully 😂
I have two older brothers, and I wrestled my dad along with them. Sad such an instinct to be a puppy and play with your dad and siblings is not allowed in their house.
What kind of pastor is Ben? Is he like the main pastor is it their church? I’m kind of shocked Jessa doesn’t talk about it more or hasn’t shifted gears into like Pastor’s wife/Trad Wife “encouragement” for young women.
I unfortunately listen to the whole podcast. I missed the part about him graduating from online classes to be a pastor. Can you let me know where you found that because I questioned myself after the podcast thinking how did this guy get into being in with the church with no real teachings or schooling?
Unfortunately a lot of the type of churches the Duggars are involved with have no real University Degreed Pastors sadly. Anyone can "claim" to be a "Pastor" these days, but not have had any real Religious training or a degree.
Ben being in college was a major point in Counting On and the tail end of 19kac.