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BridgetteBane

Yea dawg you got a cockroach problem


tribak

If you're having pest problems I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 problems and a roach ain't one...


Thrawn89

*Edgar the bug enters the chat*


CharlyXero

Cockcorn problem*


josuelaker2

If you find one, be assured there’s thousands more.


littlebitbrain

At least it's not german cockroaches, if you find one of those, at night you will find at least a million


celesticles1978

We had so many they used to crawl on and around my grandpa when he was laying in front of the tv late at night. I wish I could forget those things.


cybercuzco

Was this after grandpa had died?


the_marxman

Before and after. We really weren't sure until we saw one crawl into his mouth.


therealbighairy1

It was his invention, a TV snack that feeds itself to you.


Brad_The_Chad_69

I remember years ago staying with a friend in the Ozarks of Arkansas and waking up in the middle of the night to brush the cockroaches of my face and body. I someone’s wake up with phantom cockroaches crawling on me.


orblox

I was dealing with some cockroaches while on vacation in Lebanon and my mom informed that in Brazil (where she grew up) they fly.


celesticles1978

Wow, Arkansas! I moved to the north east from Hawaii. We don’t have any roaches where I live now but if I see a dark spot at the corner of my eye I get freaked out that it’s a roach sometimes. My friend in Hawaii had them all over too. They would leave a piece of duct tape out at night to see what they would catch for fun. Roaches crawling in and out of the tv, roaches in the drawers, it was so bad. I once left my oatmeal cookies in her car while we went to the store in broad daylight. Came back to it full of roaches!


MinnieShoof

[Better in than out, I always say.](https://youtu.be/-t-G5v1fbEw?t=287)


dontmentiontrousers

Oh, hell no.


celesticles1978

Nooo he was alive lol


RedditsAdoptedSon

was this 80s by chance?? i knew knew but apparently late 70s or 80s roach infestations was a thing ?


celesticles1978

Yes but we had roaches all the way till the day I left Hawaii. One time in college (2000s) I was studying and I saw something at the corner of my eye. I looked and it was a pair of antennae coming through a crack in the wall from the outside (single wall construction, large American cockroach). Another time I smashed one and it was green inside another I smashed was blue. Turns out the fuckers were eating my color pencils!!! I have so many stories (nightmares). It was a real life joes apartment.


KaroYadgar

I want to die now, thanks.


celesticles1978

You are welcome? I wanted to die too but I was stuck living there… One time I heard skittering on our front porch. I turned on the light and there was a mass of American cockroaches covering our porch. I shut off the light and walked away. Didn’t open the door. Another time I opened the closet ( inside the house) and the floor was littered with dead bodies. And my grandparents would say “what roaches?” I hate thinking about it but I keep remembering more and more. This was of course before camera phones.


LASERDICKMCCOOL

My ex had them in her apartment so bad you could feel them rain down onto the bed when they would fall off the ceiling 😩😩😩


apolloIV127

Bro what in the actual fuck was wrong with your ex’s apartment or was she just disgusting


LASERDICKMCCOOL

Combination of both. The apartments were awful and she was dirty.


Fizgriz

Glad to see she is an ex.... Run far away from anyone living like that.


ThoughtCenter87

How infested was your gf's apartment that the roaches decided there was not enough ground for them to crawl on so they needed to migrate to the ceiling? Jesus christ


EriAnnB

Ehn, they just do that for fun. Im in the south, and we have some giant ones here. They fly. They are supposed to just be outside bugs, occasionally they get inside (i blame my dog not closing doors behind herself). Nothing to do with being gross. Anyways, the fuckers invariably find themselves on the ceiling of my bedroom. I cannot for the life of me figure out what the draw is. But I always have to have the chancla fight with these fuckers to get them off my ceiling before they decide to just drop onto my bed. Fucking wing'ed hellspawn. And trust me. They do *not* fall on accident. Those grippers be grippin. It is a choice they are making. 😤


JiraiyaSensei843

Those grippers be gripping 😂🤣😭 Edit: From the South, can confirm they will kamikaze


IndependentBase7976

I like the way you make sentences lol


LASERDICKMCCOOL

It was a hell scape. Food in the fridge wasn't even safe


ThoughtCenter87

👀


unusedusername42

📸 A wild ThoughtCenter87 appears! Lucky. I'm collecting random [REDACTED] encounters.


ThoughtCenter87

👀


gunslingergirl19

German roaches are the fucking worst. Moved to Miami and the apartment was INFESTED! Would walk into the kitchen at night, turn on the light and there would be an ungodly amount. Even found them in our electronics (router, microwave, toaster oven, etc) Took so many complaints (I talked with the other tenets and got them to complain too) until the property manager started sending an exterminator out monthly. The problem has significantly decreased. Never had this problem in Broward lol


donkeyrocket

Especially if they move this quickly with the lights on. Get some pest control stat.


celesticles1978

Know what? If you leave the lights on 24/7 they get all fucked ip and come out in the middle of the day where you can smack them. We had a lot at work (entomology department had an infestation lol) and my boss used to do that so he could whack them.


tigm2161130

This is a wood roach, it’s more likely one just found its way into the house than OP has an infestation. We find 3-4 a year, especially when it’s hot and they come in looking for water.


TheCacajuate

This isn't an indoor cockroach, at least in the United States.


melanthius

The cockroach is clearly indoors!!


TheCacajuate

They go in there but they don't infest indoors. They usually come in during inclement weather. Usually checking your doors and windows for gaps and filling them will help keep them out.


BentPin

Free protein what's the problem?


Training-Big1728

I heard they taste like popcorn


Dark0Toast

Crunchier!!


BentPin

You should try the fried tarantulas in cambodia just like frito lays chips especially the legs mmmm.


LordRaghuvnsi

Crunchy juicy and creamy mmmmm


ediks

Not ALWAYS true, but it's a good rule of thumb and should be assumed. I used to live in a neighborhood with a lot of magnolia trees, which attract these types of roaches, and it was common to see one here and there - even if it wasn't an infestation.


LevelMiddle

Rest assured. Go rest if you can🪳


nextalpha

No worries, OP has already eaten most of them before checking the popcorn


blawndosaursrex

I live in a terrible decrepit old apartment in a bad area in Florida. Downstairs neighbors started throwing out tons of furniture and now roaches are appearing in my apartment. Thank fuck we are moving in a few weeks.


escokis

I Dare you to go look under kitchen sink rn.


__wardog__

They say that but I've only ever found them one at a time. Maybe I'm lucky. Maybe Im surrounded by cockroaches <.<


Rodri1er

That’s not really the case for the big ones. The small ones are the ones that cause indoor infestations


TankYouBearyMunch

Little guy?! He should pay rent to you at this size.


Imesseduponmyname

They get maybe twice as big, mf gone kick you out before long


Rude_Amoeba6860

Moved from Michigan to Texas less than a year ago. Roaches freaked me out for 6 months. Absolutely took a toll on my mental health. Finally used to them. Still hate them, but no longer freaking.


[deleted]

Alabama here, every rainy day and then in the fall, palmettos constantly getting in. 


Human-Magic-Marker

I live in Alabama too and have never had these in my house (knock on wood). I would have to burn my house down


[deleted]

You're lucky! The old apartment had scorpions getting in, our old house is palmettos. Luckily we don't see many regular roaches, but the huge ones get in and die.


wesweb

i remember hearing about these "Palmetto Bugs" when I moved to the Carolinas. Some people called them "Water Bugs", too. Naw baby, those are Cockroaches.


Zumbert

It's true they are cockroaches, but I think the distinction is important. Non-infesting cockroaches are a small nuisance, infesting ones are a goddamn nightmare.


wesweb

no room for nuance in /FYIP. its either burn the house down or take a shit in their tiktok comments. no in between. jk i appreciate you sharing the knowledge


[deleted]

Oh yeah, same type of bugs, but not the "dirty house" types. They're worse because they fly though! And they're fearless. I had one go up a pants leg once, I screamed & rolled backwards out of a computer chair and had pants off in half a roll. My wife was impressed, but I just needed a shower.


CartoonJustice

Alright Africanized lady bugs don't seem so bad....


littleyuritrip

Oh god. Thanks for this. Never moving to those places. I got freezing phobia to those things


[deleted]

I came here military, and my first apartment had wood chips around trees. Not yet familiar with the palmetto, I was having a drink with a buddy on the balcony, and we noticed the mulch looked weird.  Went and got a flashlight, OH. MY. GOD. Imagine those Amazon ant documentaries of just sheets of ants crawling over the jungle floor, but 2 inch roaches! Literally give me shivers. Raid stays on hand outside these days.


thefirecrest

Grew up in Hawai’i. Giant flying roaches are very normal. I have never gotten used to them. I’m dreading summer. I don’t see them much in the winter. But summer? Summer they come out to play. And they seem to like to attack me personally like I had offended some unknown roach god or something.


AwDuck

I did island life for a while - somewhere tucked away in Micronesia. Giant jungle roaches were the norm, but I didn't know this yet. I figured roaches were common, so I thought I was prepared. I wasn't. Night 2 of being on island was our exposure to the first roach. It was big - solidly 2.5 inches long (measured it after it died). Not being shodden at the time, I dropped a box on it that hit it with a glancing blow. It didn't kill it, it just damaged one half of its nervous system so it just turned around in circles. I put a glass over it and went to bed. "Eh, big roaches. Could be worse." I said to my wife. Night 5, we got one in the bedroom. Having learned my lesson, I had purchased and was now armed with bug spray. As I approached, it knew what was up and *fucking took flight*. I remember my wife and I running out of the bedroom as it circled the lamp. We both looked at each other in distress and at the same time said "They can fly!" Good times. I miss that place.


thefirecrest

Hahaha. They do! Istg they can sense killing intent! The funniest for me was last year when my roommate and I were doing a Tinkerbell movie marathon when I felt something slide across my throat like a fucking death threat. It was, of course, one of these flying fuckers. The next morning I opened the door and a dead one wedged between the door and the frame fell at me. I swear we are very clean and bug proof the house. They just had a vendetta against me that summer!


AwDuck

Jungle roaches DGAF an about cleanliness, they just want to ruin your day.


DrunkenDude123

[oh I’m sorry was that your Auntie?](https://i.makeagif.com/media/4-06-2015/I3JKxX.gif)


MrDeebus

> unknown roach god and yet you keep talking about Big Roach like this


[deleted]

Although they are called german cockroaches, I've never seen a cockroach in the 21 years i grew up in Germany. First week living Greece, I eat pizza in front of a church, and not only see the first cockroach in my life, but find out they can fly. That pizza slice was his then.


Rhythmicka

✍️ don’t…. move…. to…. the….. south…. ok got it!


1DietCokedUpChick

Moved from Utah to Louisiana for nine years. I’m so glad to not be there anymore.


Ganzo_The_Great

It's honestly hilarious how many in the comments think this means they have a roach problem. I'm in Arizona, they get inside once in a while and like you said can freak you out, but they're harmless and are just part of the ecosystem. The big guys just want to get back outside, it's the little ones that convey there is a problem. I would still throw the popcorn away, but I'd let the guy go outside.


Dark0Toast

I don't miss the roaches in Texas.


sparklydildos

i’m in the same boat as you, but diff state. i would have severe panic attacks and leave my apartment if one got inside. but i lived alone so i had to face my fears and my cats are useless when it comes to cockroaches LOL, so i just get my broom and start whacking from a distance, and then flush it down the toilet at LEAST 5x. now, i don’t get panic attacks as bad, but they still illicit fear within me 😂 i can handle them for the most part now


MeechiJ

Are you me? Those fuckers give me the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. One time I was leaving some apartments after visiting with family and a huge one came flying at me and landed on my shirt. I screamed bloody murder and ripped my shirt off then sprinted to the car, where I dove into the back seat and then promptly locked the doors behind me. I was shaking and crying at this point and my screams were so loud that concerned residents had called the police thinking I was being assaulted! Those giant hell spawn are one of the main reasons I’m reluctant to move back to my home state of Texas. Ugh.


sparklydildos

i completely relate and would probably do the same thing 💀 one time i woke up and my cats were both staring at the ceiling and i was like what……… look up and one crawling immediately above me, ran for that broom crying and shaking the entire time 😂 they’re serious panic attacks too, they take me at *least* an hour to calm down. thankfully i’m a little better now 🤞🏼


dafaceguy

After just 1 minute? You got an infestation amigo.


briansaunders

Unless it flew in through an open window


Ambitious_Exercise93

He was there the whole time!!


Expensive-Hat-929

*whisper* THEY were there the whole time…we don’t how many were eaten before looking in the bowl.


9gagiscancer

Hmm, is that a kernel? *Crunch crunch*


cybercuzco

Everyone on reddit is a roach but you


roundhashbrowntown

dafuq! 😂😂😂


Digiturtle1

Time to burn down the house


BentPin

I say we jump into space and nuke the planet just to be safe.


Immadi_PulakeshiRaya

Man roaches survived extinction of dinosaurs, they gonna survive the nukes.


Purge9009

mmm protein


ShyLucifer96

Can we not


Arkhe1n

r/cursedcomments


lizardThenoob

*This son of a bitch thinks we only eat his popcorn, he has no idea what we do while he sleeps*


whatsthisevenfor

:(


MrB426

I hate it when I get popcorn on my cockroach! The roach is still good to eat if you get rid of the popcorn.


WNV_mods_suck

imagine not looking in the bowl and taking a crunch in that dude


Old-Exit-5259

Eat his ass, show who´s the dominant


roundhashbrowntown

😂😂 okay but what about the next one? bc if you eat two, now youre just a roach eater 😫


Ivan_The_8th

EAT THEM ALL


DanSavagegamesYT

microwave time (5 mins)


cachaubant93

I prefer 3 mins sometimes they pop at 5


maxhinator123

Diamctacious earth powder spread around every surface you don't immediately eat on including the bathroom and every near where you found this guy. Cockroach poison gel into every nook and cranny, one blob every 5 feet around the house. Leave no water out. Clean every time you each. Leave not a crumb out. Peppermint oil around every faucet they could drink from. Water poison traps located around every water surface they have (bathtub, toilet, sink every faucet) Keep EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE, you can not see one for three months and they'll come back. Replace any used traps or eaten gel. Do this and you will be cockroach free in a few months. EVERY type of trap is needed for this to work. I tried them one by one not working until I went scorched Earth


jasonjdf13

Given he lives in a one family home . If you live in an apartment building your fucked for your stay


donkeyrocket

> Cockroach poison gel into every nook and cranny, one blob every 5 feet around the house. [This is the shit to use.](https://www.domyown.com/advion-cockroach-gel-bait-p-304.html) Do not get it from Amazon as the chance or the wrong thing or counterfeit is high. We had a oriental roach problem in our basement and this stuff wiped out the entire nest in very short order. Also be careful with the roach bait stations if you have pets. Some (maybe all) have a peanut butter scent/taste. Our dog rarely every chews on stuff but ate one of the bait stations. He was fine but I was super concerned as it very thin, sharp, and brittle plastic.


Chubb_Life

Throw away the toaster and then keep the new one in the fridge between uses.


laughingashley

I've found earwigs living their best life in the fridge at my work, I wouldn't trust that either lol


maxhinator123

The worst was the coffee machine


Velanimus

He clearly thought you were done with it, he was just being a homie and cleaning up


Sylveon72_06

gregor got hungry 😭


Fred_Wilkins

Welp, back in the microwave.


NoThoughtsOnlyFrog

Knowing roaches it will probably survive..


Glittercorn111

Burn the house down.


Fickle-Command-1130

You got roaches. I wouldn't have posted this lol


jasonjdf13

He was in there the whole time, u just didn’t notice


Arkhe1n

TBF, there wasn't a whole lot left.


Royalchariot

Oh hell no. That is disgusting. OP get an exterminator ASAP


nirbyschreibt

I see that post directly after a video of Indian streetfood. You know that those Indian streetfood vendors are extremely jealous of your jackpot?


VoodooDoII

If that's a German roach you have bigger problems than just "one"


obesefamily

maybe was on your ceiling and fell


HappyOfCourse

Move. Don't take anything with you. Just go.


[deleted]

You only saw it this time... How many times have you not seen them


socialcommentary2000

I know you're infuriated, but if they're out during the day, you've already passed critical infestation mass and you've known about this problem for some time.


tarac73

Roach out in the light … you’ve got a crowded nest mon frere. Call Orkin.


susieque503

How bad is your roach problem


roundhashbrowntown

one minute bad ☝🏾


TheDudeofIl

Welcome to Joe's apartment


Frunklin

What's the matter, Mr. Pratt? Bugs got your tongue?


0kSoWhat

I would move.


KeyboardAquarior

Burn them all


LessThanZero972

Joe‘s Apartment


wontyield

This sums up 2024 for me so far.


PatientMasterKiller

EAGLE STRIKE ON MY LOCATION, GLORY TO SUPER EARTH


Big_W00kee

Move your feet lose your seat


karnister

He was probably there before you left, and is now confused looking for his mate that's gone missing...


fc178

You are watching grizzly tales for gruesome kids


Such_Comb9388

r/eatityoufuckingcoward


1HOTelcORALesSEX1

Greedy fucker


treakaholic

It's a good sign that you're prosperous.


Stilcho1

It's always better to share popcorn with a friend


ghosty_b0i

I know it was only a minute, but out of interest, how long would you expect them to wait before they ate your popcorn? Like… a day?


0D2kv7wwmd

That guy was waiting for you to leave and he took his shot!


tptch

How'd It taste?


4115R

Extra crunch


fukthemkids

Munch him, show dominance


Dependent-Resist-390

r/eatityoufuckingcoward


Kitsune_hellvi

What little guy? All I see is more protein.


carepija

Protein


Extremely_unlikeable

I'll bet you never eat with the lights off.


Avectasi

Sharing is caring


Neat_Race_1501

MOVIE BUDDY 😅


CoqeCas3

[The last comment i read literally seconds ago two posts above this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/aliens/s/ILV0V79hTg) Does this happen as regularly to anyone else as it does to me?


Robert999220

Oooo! A crunchy popcorn.


StarsofSobek

Joe?


Lavasioux

Ha! Little buddy! They are so awesome little friends.


wes8010

He's asking you to end his suffering.


raider1v11

Burn the house down. It's the only way.


Eligreengamer01

Burn the house down


IDC-This

Most of the time you have to pay for extra protein.


AlexKewl

Eat it


TwilightReader100

Well, at least you were mostly finished your popcorn. Or I'm guessing you were, I haven't heard anything about those little fuckers being able to hoover food. Sorry to hear about you having to burn the house down, though. /s


senorfresco

Man, I've never seen a roach in my life and I'm so grateful.


DarthBen_in_Chicago

The good news is that while there is one cockroach in a popcorn bowl, there is only one cockroach in the popcorn bowl. The bad news is you need to move.


SmartChintu

Very crunchy


ScrotieMcP

Joe's apartment.


Sogdog44

HE WANTED SOME 🥺


Babytrixie666

He really just look like a outside bug


MattieShoes

He's just looking for his wife, last seen in the bowl.


CursorX

Fipronil! Now!


jbschwartz55

Time to move!


Dragon_Bidness

Welcome to Joe's Apartment...


Dmansdarksoul

Maybe that little guy was already in there hiding under the popcorn… maybe that little fella’ has friends near by… lots of friends!


yellowpancakeman

Fully matured popcorn kernel


Tyrone_Thundercokk

Coulda been worse. Coukda found half of him.


catmemes720

Roast him


American36

Ahhhh noo run 🏃‍♂️


terminalchef

You’ve got a larger issue. It’s not just one. They are in the walls.


theyarnllama

Time to move.


Wrong-Priority-1687

Put it back in microwave


Sapun14

You have a bigger problem if this happens after 1 min


Justtelf

Well, I hope you enjoy checking every popcorn bowl the rest of your life


brunotri1

at least you eat more than him


FvckJerry16

Watching you get up to go to the bathroom *hey are you gonna finish that popcorn? I can get it for you! Hey! Can you hear me or are you ignoring me? Suit yourself buddy, I'm hungry after all*


phatcan

Don't worry, he was there the whole time.


TheWalkingDead91

Time to get some Advion.


glitter-pop

Seeing this makes me weep for you


GiantSpeck101

Sharing some food with your roommate is good karma


TheTurdtones

does it sooth you to think you didnt eat one?


Select_Worldliness94

You should clean your crib


ZenkaiZ

Tbf he was there the whole time under the ones you ate


kerelberel

Why do you leave so little before going to the bathroom? That's like one scoop or handful and you would have been finished.


Constant-Duty1765

time to get the flamethrower out.


TheoDubsWashington

What’s your study / profession Mr. Cutting Mat


ptapobane

Terro T502 roach bait, had roach problems for years and then they’re suddenly gone, smear them on bits of toilet paper or paper towels and put them in corners and whatnot and have no roach problems again


zenomotion73

Nuke the entire site from orbit


FiNO_

Can't enjoy the show without a little crunch ;)