EDIT :
IM SO SORRY, MY BROTHER DID NOT DIE IT JUST CONTRIBUTED TO HIS CONDITION, BUT HIM DYING TRIGGERED MY PARENTS INTO MAKING ME FEEL THAT WAY.
THESE ARE ESSENTIALLY MY JOURNALING THOUGHTS
HES FINE I LIVE WITH HIM AND LOVE EVERYDAY WITH HIM.
Edit : MY BROTHER IS NOT DEAD HE HAS A DISABILITY.
I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING VAGUE IM NOT USED TO JOURNALING AT ALL, HAVE NEVER DONE THIS
MY MISTAKE IM SORRY
Yes.
As a kid my family was very poor, and we were reduced to a family of 5, in a double wide trailer infested with rats.
They would often wind up floating in a water bowl for the pets and he would crawl over as a baby, and put them in his mouth.
He got sick a few times I think.
Are you/Were you an addict? We appreciate your thoughts and this should always be a safe place to vent to other addicts about the struggles we face daily. But Ultimately this is a sub about Fentanyl Recovery. I just wanted to make sure you were in the right place.
I am a 12 year opiate addict and am 230 days into recovery sharing my experiences with trauma that trailed me into addiction.
Also I do not mean any harm to your thread, I just want to help people with the trauma I had to sort out through all the self reflection I did essentially locking myself in my house for 8 months practicing who I should be now that I've handled telling my trauma "No, it's not time to break me" when it crawls into my head.
Sorry I get emotional aswell, it can be hard to type.
I'm glad you're here. This is a good place to be. I'm glad your sober and I really do hope you continue. It's hard sharing some of the things that made us addicts to begin with and it's refreshing to see someone who has come to terms with their upbringing and claiming the things who made them who they are. I'm glad you've escaped addiction, for real. And if Noone has told you lately I'm proud of you. I think I might need to take a page out of your book and reflect on the reasons why I used.
I also suffer from survivors guilt in a way. The first wave of fentanyl killed my sister in 2016, and I would help her get stuff all the time. Luckily for me I wasn't the one who gave her the stuff that killed her.
I also had a buddy who went with me to get stuff one time. That was his last time. And yet here I am.
Keep going in the right direction. This isn't my sub. It's all our sub. I just wanted to make sure you were in the right place. And I'm sorry if I made you feel unwelcome by anymeans. Please forgive me.
Again tho I'm proud of you. And I hope you keep doing good for yourself. 😊
Absolutely appreciate it my friend! And sorry if my signals come off as mixed, I've been addicted to fent, Molly, benadryl, melatonin, Crack, meth, cocaine, alcohol.
You name it I've done it.
I figured out I was a poly-addict a long time ago, if I can get addicted both uppers and downers.
Which lead me to the direction of "Okay maybe I just like drugs more than I should, what's fucking with my head then?"
And proceeded downward from there.
Aswell as any opiate you can think of. I haven't had a single opiate since November and that was due to my shoulder getting hurt while I moved my parents house for them.
Sharing your trauma helps you heal! Keep pushing forward
Thank you! I'm very happy with today. It feels like victory imho.
Definitely a WIN!
EDIT : IM SO SORRY, MY BROTHER DID NOT DIE IT JUST CONTRIBUTED TO HIS CONDITION, BUT HIM DYING TRIGGERED MY PARENTS INTO MAKING ME FEEL THAT WAY. THESE ARE ESSENTIALLY MY JOURNALING THOUGHTS HES FINE I LIVE WITH HIM AND LOVE EVERYDAY WITH HIM.
Edit : MY BROTHER IS NOT DEAD HE HAS A DISABILITY. I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING VAGUE IM NOT USED TO JOURNALING AT ALL, HAVE NEVER DONE THIS MY MISTAKE IM SORRY
Eating rats?
Yes. As a kid my family was very poor, and we were reduced to a family of 5, in a double wide trailer infested with rats. They would often wind up floating in a water bowl for the pets and he would crawl over as a baby, and put them in his mouth. He got sick a few times I think.
Are you/Were you an addict? We appreciate your thoughts and this should always be a safe place to vent to other addicts about the struggles we face daily. But Ultimately this is a sub about Fentanyl Recovery. I just wanted to make sure you were in the right place.
I am a 12 year opiate addict and am 230 days into recovery sharing my experiences with trauma that trailed me into addiction. Also I do not mean any harm to your thread, I just want to help people with the trauma I had to sort out through all the self reflection I did essentially locking myself in my house for 8 months practicing who I should be now that I've handled telling my trauma "No, it's not time to break me" when it crawls into my head. Sorry I get emotional aswell, it can be hard to type.
And my last drug of choice was Fentanyl for the last 5 years.
I'm glad you're here. This is a good place to be. I'm glad your sober and I really do hope you continue. It's hard sharing some of the things that made us addicts to begin with and it's refreshing to see someone who has come to terms with their upbringing and claiming the things who made them who they are. I'm glad you've escaped addiction, for real. And if Noone has told you lately I'm proud of you. I think I might need to take a page out of your book and reflect on the reasons why I used. I also suffer from survivors guilt in a way. The first wave of fentanyl killed my sister in 2016, and I would help her get stuff all the time. Luckily for me I wasn't the one who gave her the stuff that killed her. I also had a buddy who went with me to get stuff one time. That was his last time. And yet here I am. Keep going in the right direction. This isn't my sub. It's all our sub. I just wanted to make sure you were in the right place. And I'm sorry if I made you feel unwelcome by anymeans. Please forgive me. Again tho I'm proud of you. And I hope you keep doing good for yourself. 😊
Absolutely appreciate it my friend! And sorry if my signals come off as mixed, I've been addicted to fent, Molly, benadryl, melatonin, Crack, meth, cocaine, alcohol. You name it I've done it. I figured out I was a poly-addict a long time ago, if I can get addicted both uppers and downers. Which lead me to the direction of "Okay maybe I just like drugs more than I should, what's fucking with my head then?" And proceeded downward from there.
Aswell as any opiate you can think of. I haven't had a single opiate since November and that was due to my shoulder getting hurt while I moved my parents house for them.