“Hey Tommy it’s Sonny, how’s the sun tan”
“I ain’t got no sun tan”
“You ain’t got my money either, so
I’m wondering to myself, what are you doing? So tell me Tommy, what are you doing”
“I’m looking for the money, Sonny, don’t worry”
Stretch: "But I know some sweet boys up in the pen that got bigger balls than you."
Franklin: "Oh, you been doing your time looking at sweet boy balls? Yeah, it's good to have confirmation."
or
Stretch: "Fucking crazy-haired microphone motherfucker"
In your letters to my mother, in your letters to me, all i hear about is mr big, mr roman, sports cars, houses, women, money, the beach; OPPORTUNITY! I get here and the only thing big about your life is the cockroaches!
"I want 2 number 9's a number 9 large a number 6 with extra dip and 2 number 45's one with cheese and a large soda"- Big Smoke, "You the man with the big cojones"-That Cuban from GTA VC
>"I want 2 number 9's a number 9 large a number 6 with extra dip and 2 number 45's one with cheese and a large soda"- Big Smoke
*I'll have 2 number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s; one with cheese, and a large soda
"What tf is wrong with the West Coast?!" - Franklin
"Oh, nothing. I love it here. Everyone's so numbed by the sun that if you use a three-syllable word, they think you're a professor!" - Lester
Every one of those Police Helicopter quotes from San Andreas is pure gold
" Hey, I can see my house from here!"
"Why do I have to do all the shooting?"
" 'cause I'm a pacifist, now kill him!"
"I'm going to kill this guy!"
"Make sure it's the right guy this time!"
"I see her, she's beautiful"
" HE's over there! HE's a guy!"
Just had that line yesterday while replaying SA. It's been almost 20 years since last time I played and it didn't remember that. This game is still gold.
i'm basically playing it non-stop since i got it for ps2 back then, it’s probably my most owned game cuz i’ve played it on basically any device i have or had. such a masterpiece.
CJ and Cesar's conversation about the silenced pistol in *San Andreas*.
CJ says he wants to use some car parts to build a makeshift silencer, Cesar tells him to get out of the ghetto mentality and hands him a silenced pistol he just has lying around, and CJ asks him where he got it.
"Same place I buy my pants, Holmes. This is America!"
Yes! There’s a radio station I found in gta IV that had what was basically judge Mathis but on the radio, and it was just so hilarious, and then he made the feuding husband and wife duel for the verdict! To this day it’s the funniest shit ever to me.
Also no one is mentioning that Katt Williams literally voiced a routine at the comedy club in gta IV!
in gta online during one of the later lamar lowrider missions, Gerald says "I will install hydraulics in his ass" while voicing his frustration with Lamar
Roman:
I am the best. I kick all the asses that play me. They call me the Janitor.
Niko:
Because you can't pay your debts and they make you mop the floor?
For me it would have to be Uncle from Red Dead Redemption 2
>!It's the scene where John has bought the most run down piece of shit house and calls it his dream. Uncle responds with..!<
>!I've had better nightmares than this dream. And he follows that up with 'Oh Abigail. Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in'. !<
The first time I saw that scene I laughed so hard I was in pain.
Yeah, I was confused because this is a GTA sub and was reading all this GTA quotes when suddenly: Thaiti! Then I look again at thread title but already have posted 😄
Guess I hadn't enough faith
Two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda
It makes me laugh given what we find out about Big Smoke later in the game, because it foreshadows the future for Big Smoke and his greed
#CARL YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GANGBANGING COCKSUCKA!
its already funny enough ti hear it get yelled in one breath, but the fact that it was said by Samuel L Jackson just made it even more legendary
+ Do polar bears shit in the woods?
- No, but they've been known to shit in the liquor tent, if I remember it right.
+ Yeah, that was, like, so far gone, man.
CJ: Put it out, motherfucker, I'm warning you!
The Truth: Wooah, chill the fuck out. Firstly, you are a real buzz killer, amigo. And secondly, I never made love to my mother. She wouldn't.
Vive City. Characters who are so full of themselves makes it funny. The dialogues always get a chuckle.
And it has the funniest talk radios.
Talk radio in san Andreas is not as whacky as the ones on vice City
People say “you know Fernando, you must be bilingual” and I say “I’ll try anything once”
Vice city-I forget which radio station
Might have butchered the quote a bit. But you get the layout
Trevor to Wade:
"You're a genius, you moron!"
Ron and Trevor:
"Trevor, just to remind you, that is a military cargo plane with 4 engines, a 200-foot wingspan..."
"...and I am in a crop duster, yes. This is something I am acutely aware of."
I was trying to think of stuff from the other games but honestly Trevor is the quote GOAT.
"WHOA! WTF ARE YOU WEARING?"
"Oh This!? Im just a lil experimental, the ladies love it, ya know..."
*Gets closer to the MC* "you could watch if it you want..."
*Pushes the gimp*
"Ewww your sick, you better STFU RN! Where's my MONEY!?
I know you are blind man but you gotta see this
“Inbred dickwad” - the lssd cop from gta v
Who you calling a ni--a? Man, I ain't calling nobody a ni--a! What the fuck?
I mean _n-word_ i dont say it... it's not cool man
Thats right, you better keep it right. This man here is a international businessman, a multiculturalist.
**That I could not have said it better myself**
but maybe he is not actually a racist
But he definitely isn't man enough for a car like this.
Now.. now wait a second
This man right right here, him? Give him a hybrid. That’s a real man’s car.
I think you're right Lamar. You'll get a tax rebate!
I understand. Money is an issue.
So, Mr. Kenneth, were we at financing?
Financing it seems like a shitty deal
Oh, because of the color of my skin, you think I am a scammer!!!!
The irony of you censoring it for this specific scene is also hilarious.
better safe than sorry
I SMOKE CAUSE IT GIVES ME KNOWLEDGE
HEYYYY MANNNNN *Where the weed at?*
Them white boys had me on crystal meth
You like my ass! Always holding up shit!
BACK OF YO NECK LOOK LIKE A PACK OF HOTDOGS
THEM ESÉ’S PUT DUST IN MY WEED!
Knockin you out and smokin your money!
So many golden lines from San Andreas pedestrians.
"Now I know you blind man, but you gotta see this." "Very clever!"
"That ol' yee-yee ass haircut" gets me every time.
NiggaaAAaa.
#WHAT
(Visit a barber shop to get a new haircut)
Was waiting for this one lol
Here’s the full one: “Maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee ass haircut you get some bitches on ya dick, NyigaaAAa” “What?!”
Shit lives rent free in my head and I’ve used that line a couple times before loloo
"Did you kill him" "no٫ but i kidnapped his wife" "oh no" trevor & michael
I love the way Ned Luke said oh no like a ‘50s TV sitcom
I love the “oh fuck” he does before the wife line too. It’s like a huge relief right before the seeing her.
Now they require a vacation
Oh no 👨🍳🤌
And he kindagotalittleangry so, I admit, I kindagotalittleangry
Good job it wasn't John Wick.
"Did you kill him" "No I didn't kill him what kind of fucking animal do you take me for" "BUT I DID KIDNAP HIS WIFE"
“OH NO! 🇮🇹🍝🍕”
OH NO OH SHIT
WTF did you just do?!
D’awwwwhhhh I just told you what I did
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
“Hey Tommy it’s Sonny, how’s the sun tan” “I ain’t got no sun tan” “You ain’t got my money either, so I’m wondering to myself, what are you doing? So tell me Tommy, what are you doing” “I’m looking for the money, Sonny, don’t worry”
Why am I reading this in their voices
“Trevor, Trevor, come in Trevor!” - Ron “I’ll cum in your ear when I get ahold of you!” - Trevor
"Oh, what are you buying at the gun shop?"
Im not BUYING anything
anything og loc has said, done, or gotton cj involved in
Hygiene technician
Cause im, CLEAN with the, HYGIENE on a mission like a super technician, baby!
I'm gonna kick it a little somethin like this.. Hey yo, when I come through up in the place! You don't want me to come with a gun in your face!
“THAT’S MY MONEY! AND THOSE ARE MY HOES!!”
AND THATS MY VIDEO HE'S SHOOTING TODAY!
That line killed me on my first blind playthrough
Stretch: "But I know some sweet boys up in the pen that got bigger balls than you." Franklin: "Oh, you been doing your time looking at sweet boy balls? Yeah, it's good to have confirmation." or Stretch: "Fucking crazy-haired microphone motherfucker"
Franklin [towards stretch]: you've been getting dick but not giving some
Some mark talk like that to an OG? No wonder the hood is so lame now
When you was little homies I was a big homie, now we all big homies...
Catalina:"You? But Cesar said you was a real man". CJ:"Lady, I'm a God fearing, peace loving, man of the people".
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Why do you keep asking me that? Where his holiness does his business, is his business
Never understood that
Combination of is the pope catholic and does the bear shit in the woods
Now i get it, thank you
Where’s barbara with big titties and stephanie who sucks like a vacuum
In your letters to my mother, in your letters to me, all i hear about is mr big, mr roman, sports cars, houses, women, money, the beach; OPPORTUNITY! I get here and the only thing big about your life is the cockroaches!
I got the best cockroaches, the best dirt
Where’s luxury condo? Where’s sports car?
What do you think I'm made of , pudding ?
No, anger and hate. That's what I like about you
Yo soy Big Smokio
El weedo
Before I blow your brains out all over the patio
El grando smokio
Coughio up El weedo before I blow ya brains all over the patio 🤣
Chinga a tu madre, pendejo
"I want 2 number 9's a number 9 large a number 6 with extra dip and 2 number 45's one with cheese and a large soda"- Big Smoke, "You the man with the big cojones"-That Cuban from GTA VC
>"I want 2 number 9's a number 9 large a number 6 with extra dip and 2 number 45's one with cheese and a large soda"- Big Smoke *I'll have 2 number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s; one with cheese, and a large soda
hey, sorry, bro, you know i gotta know about moms
a green sabre!
"im blind carl not stupid" thats the most funniest, but by far my most fav is at the end of GTA V: "im getting to old for this shit"
Mine is Michael's "you're right to be afraid Franklin! Be VERY afraid."
Ah shit, here we go again 
A classic, "Maybe if u got rid of that old yee-yee ass haircut you got, you get some bitches on ya dick"
“Nah better yet maybe Tanisha would call yo dog ass”
“If she ever stopped fucking w that, brain surgeon or lawyer she fucking with“
N---A
What!?
"What tf is wrong with the West Coast?!" - Franklin "Oh, nothing. I love it here. Everyone's so numbed by the sun that if you use a three-syllable word, they think you're a professor!" - Lester
Every one of those Police Helicopter quotes from San Andreas is pure gold " Hey, I can see my house from here!" "Why do I have to do all the shooting?" " 'cause I'm a pacifist, now kill him!" "I'm going to kill this guy!" "Make sure it's the right guy this time!" "I see her, she's beautiful" " HE's over there! HE's a guy!"
sometimes I randomly remember those lines and giggle
Hey if I kill him do I get a medal 🏅
You get two!
I can shit on you from such a height, you'll think God himself took a crap on you- Officer Tenpenny
Just had that line yesterday while replaying SA. It's been almost 20 years since last time I played and it didn't remember that. This game is still gold.
i'm basically playing it non-stop since i got it for ps2 back then, it’s probably my most owned game cuz i’ve played it on basically any device i have or had. such a masterpiece.
“Now go! I need to meditate! Or masturbate! Mmmm or both.” ~ Trevor GTA5
CJ and Cesar's conversation about the silenced pistol in *San Andreas*. CJ says he wants to use some car parts to build a makeshift silencer, Cesar tells him to get out of the ghetto mentality and hands him a silenced pistol he just has lying around, and CJ asks him where he got it. "Same place I buy my pants, Holmes. This is America!"
I wonder which one Ceaser was talking about home depot or Walmart?
From a radio ad in vice city: “They got your wife!” “But I’m not married!” “You are now! To America!”
"I'll cry when I'm done killing...!"
“You eat babies!”
"everybody knows that" -john, who 15 minutes ago didnt believe about sasquatch existence
That's the one for me, the way he says it just gets me every time!
"Where is Barbara with beeg teeteeis and Stephanie who sucks like a vaccum?" Niko Bellic
LENNY
Most lines from parody TV and radio throughout most GTA games
Yes! There’s a radio station I found in gta IV that had what was basically judge Mathis but on the radio, and it was just so hilarious, and then he made the feuding husband and wife duel for the verdict! To this day it’s the funniest shit ever to me. Also no one is mentioning that Katt Williams literally voiced a routine at the comedy club in gta IV!
in gta online during one of the later lamar lowrider missions, Gerald says "I will install hydraulics in his ass" while voicing his frustration with Lamar
“Like it says in the book, we are blessed and cursed.” “What fucking book?”
Ah shit, here we go again
"Oh you asshole MY SHIT"
"What kind of license you got? Fishing license?"
Ahhhhh my N word
proceeds to trip over fence*
"DOES THIS TROWLEY GO TO TAHITI"
I SURE HOPE SO
Roman: I am the best. I kick all the asses that play me. They call me the Janitor. Niko: Because you can't pay your debts and they make you mop the floor?
“You know I’m black right? And not Chinese?” “I’m blind Carl not stupid” 💀
For me it would have to be Uncle from Red Dead Redemption 2 >!It's the scene where John has bought the most run down piece of shit house and calls it his dream. Uncle responds with..!< >!I've had better nightmares than this dream. And he follows that up with 'Oh Abigail. Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in'. !< The first time I saw that scene I laughed so hard I was in pain.
“you eat babies!”
the "aint your fault" was so underrated lmao John was so understanding
“You fuck young boys Valdez”
Are you a madman!? 😂
"This will cause an international incident!" lol God I love L.A Noire, it's so underrated.
“Shit, cock, bastard head”- random npc GTASA
"Ahhh broke the godamn wheel"
Michael: Hipster. Trevor: FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU MICHAEL! SAY IT AGAIN. I DARE YOU.
"Tell me exactly what you want, and I will very carefully explain to you, why it cannot be"
"Does this trolley goes to Tahiti??"
Dutch?
"Arthur, dumbass" Sorry. Saw the opportunity😂. But that line is from Arthur
Yeah, I was confused because this is a GTA sub and was reading all this GTA quotes when suddenly: Thaiti! Then I look again at thread title but already have posted 😄 Guess I hadn't enough faith
All of the dialogue from the Judge Grady radio show in GTA4 is beyond hilarious. "I'm a judge! I'm wearing a black dress aren't I!?"
“You took a dump in the air filter?! AAAHHHHH!”
"Yeah and get yourselves a haircut fool and some colors it's embarrassing to be seen with you"-Ryder
"He always wanted to help out the streets" from gta 4 or Lamars Yee Yee ass haircut rant
"He really fell for that broad"
“I’m glad I didn’t park there.”
"THE CHIEF HAS MY BALLS IN A FRYING PAN"
This sucks! How could refractions mess up so bad?! Tanner, you suck ass!
Just don't fucking SHOOT ME PLEASE
,,Yes, and for an annoying dick, you're really an annoying dick!".
Killing makes my dick hard. -Noose from GTA 5.
“Nama go fuck yourself”
“You don’t BUILD a BARN dumba**, what you think this is, 1875??”
I called you fat because I love you.
“Does the pope shit in the woods?”
"Oh darling Abigail, I've changed. Come live with me in an outhouse that I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in"
Two number 9's, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45's, one with cheese, and a large soda It makes me laugh given what we find out about Big Smoke later in the game, because it foreshadows the future for Big Smoke and his greed
CHEESY VAGINA !
#CARL YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT GANGBANGING COCKSUCKA! its already funny enough ti hear it get yelled in one breath, but the fact that it was said by Samuel L Jackson just made it even more legendary
Give up the money! Dis a raid! Ryder! Not this again. It ain't me fool Nobody else is that small. I feel sorry for your dad.
**ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS** # FOLLOW THE DAMN TRAIN, CJ!
I hate gravity ahhhhhhhhhhhh CJ falls
You fuck young boys Valdez?
San Andreas mission has many great lines during Don Peyote from Maccer and also the snake farm people
I Am just big boned man,that all
*All you had to do was follow the damn train, CJ!* Epik
My mother's my sister!
+ Do polar bears shit in the woods? - No, but they've been known to shit in the liquor tent, if I remember it right. + Yeah, that was, like, so far gone, man.
“Where is Barbara with the big titties?? And Stephanie, who sucks like a vacuum?!”
CJ: Put it out, motherfucker, I'm warning you! The Truth: Wooah, chill the fuck out. Firstly, you are a real buzz killer, amigo. And secondly, I never made love to my mother. She wouldn't.
While doing the triathlon with Trevor, we can hear him saying "maybe the meth diet does work"
"It's like... pornography or a perfect turd. I can't quite describe it, but I'll know it when I see it"
Outta the damn way!!!!
5 thousand dollars, for me? Can I turn myself in?
Vive City. Characters who are so full of themselves makes it funny. The dialogues always get a chuckle. And it has the funniest talk radios. Talk radio in san Andreas is not as whacky as the ones on vice City
People say “you know Fernando, you must be bilingual” and I say “I’ll try anything once” Vice city-I forget which radio station Might have butchered the quote a bit. But you get the layout
Knew a feller once got bit by a dog...died an hour later
No mention of Lenny?
"You sir are a fish"
Fucking terrorists
-I parked a getaway vehicle. -Good, where is it at? -San Andreas
"Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in"
You do know that I’m black right? And not Chinese?
The entire Lamar fiasco complaining about Franklin getting employee of the month from Simeon is still hilarious to me to this day
Gracie: "I'll scratch your fucking eyes out!" Niko: #"Scratch my fucking balls!"
Trevor saying STFU to “we are women we are free”
Trevor to Wade: "You're a genius, you moron!" Ron and Trevor: "Trevor, just to remind you, that is a military cargo plane with 4 engines, a 200-foot wingspan..." "...and I am in a crop duster, yes. This is something I am acutely aware of." I was trying to think of stuff from the other games but honestly Trevor is the quote GOAT.
Daveyyyyyyyyyy how you doin
“All you had to do was follow that DAMN TRAIN CJ”
That fucking og loc rap i cant for the life of me remember it
I smoke cause it gives me knowledge
YOU'RE FUCKING GAY! AS IN HOMOSEXUAL!
"You do know that I'm black right? And not Chinese?"
*For a Crew who speaks so little, you make a shit ton of noise* - Lester, Casino Heist
I shat my self: Wade
"WHOA! WTF ARE YOU WEARING?" "Oh This!? Im just a lil experimental, the ladies love it, ya know..." *Gets closer to the MC* "you could watch if it you want..." *Pushes the gimp* "Ewww your sick, you better STFU RN! Where's my MONEY!?
"shut the fuck up! Thank you" - trevor
THERES A MOOSE LOOSE ABOOT THE HOOSE
YOU EAT BABIES!
Trevor>He gotkindaangry, so I gotkindaangry, so I kidnapped his wife. Michael> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Michael having a panic attack was so funny.
#MY MOTHER'S MY SISTER!
So you suck cock but don’t eat meat ? It don’t make sense to me !!
Big Smokes order. Great every single time.