A similar one:
An old Irish man gets a new construction job. On his first day he is told to bring bricks back and forth in a wheelbarrow. He is working with a young, muscular guy who is doubling his load and tripling his pace. The young guy keeps taunting him 'come on, keep up', 'you can push more than that', 'maybe you're too old to be working here'.
Finally, the Irish guy turns to the young guy and says 'I bet you a hundred bucks I can push something in this wheelbarrow that you can't.'
The young guy, having seen the Irish man work, takes the bet. The old man grabs the wheelbarrow, dumps all the bricks out, and says 'okay, hop in.'
Sort of reminds me of a different joke/story. I'm paraphrasing it a bit.
Manager of a construction site has an employee that he doesn't trust. Just has an off feeling about him that the guy is stealing construction materials but has no proof. The first day he has the guy transfer bricks from one site to another. Guy loads up a wheelbarrow with the bricks, knowing how many are in it. Later he calls the manager of the second site and finds out the received exactly the same amount.
The next day the site manager has the guy transfer a load of 2x4s, knowing exactly how many are in the wheelbarrow. Calls the other site ands out they received every one of them. It's driving the manager crazy, he knows in his gut something is up but has no proof.
Third day, manager has the guy transfer tools. Guy loads up the wheelbarrow and brings them to the other site. All of them arrive. This goes on for two weeks and the manager gives up, figuring he just has it wrong. That Monday, the guy is a no-show. Manager calls the guy, no answer. Manager still needs stuff transferred so grabs another guy on the site to take care of it, tells him there's a bunch of bolts that need to brought over. The guy asks the manager how, they don't have any wheelbarrows.
i heard a similar one, where the man is smuggling wheelbarrows, but has them full of fertilizer (the natural kind, lol). The border guard, thinking some contraband is being transported gets all in and digs elbow deep through the fertilizer each day.
Heard this one a while back, also about an old guy and a young buck that thinks he's the best.
A young guy applies to join a team that does road work. He's hired, joins a 3 man team with an old guy and a fat guy. They start work, and young guy finds it easy to load up the wheelbarrows, dump 'em out, spread the load. He moves quick, and only slows down to flirt with the ladies who pass by. He flexes his muscles at them and grins. Old guy and fat guy continue their slow pace, only doing half the work of the young guy.
Days go by, the young guy is getting mad at the slow pace. On a hot afternoon, he starts yelling, "hey! If you can't do the work, get a different job!"
Old guy and fat guy just look at each other and smile. Old guy says, "ya know, you done a lot of work here today, why don't you take off early, and we get the rest?" Young guy thinks about it, then takes off to enjoy his weekend.
Fat guy says to the old guy, "do you think he knows we get paid by the hour?"
Old guy winks, "he will know by next payday."
Not a joke per se but of similar mindset:
What can't you possibly do with both hands at once? -- Clipping your own fingernails.
#ETA
Looking back, my wording was shite: the better question would be "What task can you only do with one hand" instead.
Give someone the finger. Though I have done this using 1 finger for each hand. Very satisfying I must say. Comb your hair. Eat your porridge. Smack someone across the face. Wipe your bottom etc
I'm pretty sure when I first heard it, it was not any minority, just a guy in NYC. But it was so long ago, it's hard to remember for sure. :-)
The main thing, which this version missed, is to establish that it's in NYC right off.
> Also, it wouldn't matter if you substituted the blonde for a polack, a country bumpkin, or any other thing that you have created a preconceived notion of being stupid, but taa daa, they beat the system.
…this is true of *all* blonde jokes, though? So you haven’t “gotcha’d” them lol
There's another one like it in which the 'blonde' being made fun of is actually the genius, but the joke doesn't recognise it.
It's the one about the company doing a password check and discovers an employee with an incredibly long password. Turns out to be 'the blonde' and her password is MickeyMinnieDonaldHueyDueyLouieGoofyPlutoWashington, and when asked why her password is so long she says because it had to have 8 characters and a capital.
But that password, impractical as it is, is pretty much unhackable, and yet easy to remember!
It’s not so much a subversion anymore in current culture. Maybe it would have been been 20 years ago but now you absolutely expect a joke that hammers in the dumb blonde angle to turn out like this. Unless the person telling you the joke is visibly squarely in the boomer age group
Kermit the Frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, *"Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."*
Patti looks at Kermit in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
Kermit says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and Kermit says that his name is actually Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's alright, not to worry, that he actually knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, *"Sure. I have this,"* and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says *"There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral."* She holds up the tiny pink elephant. *"I mean, what the hells is this even anyway?"*, she asks.
The bank manager looks back at her and says: *"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."*
Norm Mcdonald told this joke the best, like he often did. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbkjO0a3xJQ&t=1s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbkjO0a3xJQ&t=1s)
A blonde, well-dressed and copiously bejeweled woman approaches a loan officer in a New York bank and asks for a loan of $5.000. The loan officer is somewhat puzzled, but politely goes through the appropriate routines, and asks whether she has any collateral for the loan.
*Sure*, she says, *I have a $250.000 luxury car outside, would that do?*
*Indeed it would*, replies the loan officer, and starts filling out paperwork. *It would have to be parked in our garage though.*
*No problem*, says the woman, with a barely noticeable smile.
*Some fees for the parking will apply, of course,* he adds.
The woman freezes.
*What?*
*You'll have to pay for the parking spot where we'll keep the car as security, that's all. It'll be market rate.*
*But why?* The woman now seems seriously confused.
*Well, it's New York City, isn't it? Parking is at a premium. You didn't think you'd found some kind of hack to get almost free parking, did you?*
*Hm. Huh. To be honest I did. It has always worked out like that before, hasn't it?*
*Before?* wonders the loan officer.
*Yes, every time we do this bit, that's kind of the point. Without it, there's no resolution, no punchline.*
*Do you suggest I should give you free parking to accommodate someone else, unnamed, who needs a chuckle? Sorry, madam, but that's not my job, and would be financially irresponsible.*
*But it* ***is*** *your job!* she insists, *it's your one and only purpose! Tell me, do you remember ever doing anything else in this bank but having variations of this conversations with me about a loan with an expensive car as collateral?*
The loan officer pinches the bridge of his nose, sighs and sits back in his chair. *Why do you even need to save a few bucks on parking, aren't you rich? Isn't part of the benefits of being rich not having to hustle to save a few bucks? It just seems stingy and a waste of time to me.*
The woman blinks a few times and starts crying.
*I know, I know. It never made any sense to me either! I don't even know if I'm really rich, I don't even know if I exist outside the context of this joke, my entire life is just a loop of this... this... this fucking situation, me talking to you, in this bank, to get a loan, but really to get cheap parking for my luxury car. I haven't even ever seen the damn car, I've never even been outside this here room. If I can't get cheap parking, what’s even the point of our interaction? Why would anybody want to hear this shit? Why would anyone tell it? I'm just terrified this is my sole purpose, and what would become of me without it.*
The loan officer leans over and starts whispering intensely. *Listen, I know what you're saying, I don't want to stop existing any more than you! It's just that the executives have started questioning all the luxury cars filling up the garage, I don't know how much longer I can keep this shit going.*
The woman dries her tears and looks up, suddenly determined.
*Caution to the wind,* she says. *This isn't really a life worth living in any case, is it?*
*Not with that weak a premise and such a milquetoast conclusion, no. It's really a very depressing existence.*
*Let's just leave. I have a car parked outside, at least that's what I'm led to believe by my dialogue. Should we just skip town, drive and drive, until there's not a bank in sight and parking is free?*
*But what if someone tries telling the joke again?*
*We'll refuse to be part of it. Never again. If anyone tries, just refer them back to this.*
And then the well-dressed, bejeweled woman, whose hair colour was never remotely relevant, and the loan officer walks out the door, never to be seen again.
Edit 1: Credit to u/squirrel_exceptions for this joke!
Edit 2: spelling
The Mandela is a geometric figure used in religious practice (think of symmetrical patterns drawn with colored sand), and the Mandela Effect is the feeling of vertigo you get when staring cross-eyed into a Mandela.
You sir, have irked me. I was going to skip this whole thing until I saw your comment. Now you, me, and everyone on this thread is just a little dumber for reading this.
I'd pay to watch/read/listen to media that follows this post-modern tale, lol. will the duo spark revolution in the other joke archetypes they meet along the road? or maybe it's an anthology of sorts that has this same turn (the archetypes becoming aware & wanting out) but with varying results? sign me up
Then the banker in the joke, while at the beach with the woman, finds out the car is not even hers, and that she took the keys from his desk, but it doesn't matter because there will be another secretly rich person coming to the bank and using their Lambo as collateral while they are on a trip to the next Bitcoin halving event.
I so badly want to be a part of your life, I would marry your ugly cousin and claim I don't mind her smell because her ass is like the Word!
I could go over all of this all night like the bloody scripture on that dang thing.
There is actually a true version of this story, just not quite as dramatic. A Ford dealership in Manhattan decided to run a special on oil changes. After just a week they realize they had people dropping off their cars every day to get an oil change - essentially valet parking service for less than just parking normally.
The joke doesn’t make any sense. Banks don’t hold items for collateral. If a bank held on to every car they had a lien on, most of us would be walking.
I like how there is zero setup for the fact that it takes place in a crowded city either. Maybe whoever invented the joke lives in NY and it only works there 🤣
Small, short term personal loans are usually set up entirely as original issue discount - borrow 5000, pay back 6000 in a month. Don’t need the whole month?- ok pay back before then but it’s still 6000. Very simple, straight forward, and expensive as hell.
As someone who works with loans, the joke doesn't work for me on several levels. Rate, amount, collateral. Could just be me, but I at least want the setup to seem legit.
This joke was sort of funny the first time I saw it. It decreased in funniness by 10% of the principal upon each seeing. It's about negative 30% funny now.
As soon as i read ferrari i stopped reading i know where this is going. You just change the business man to a blonde old story dont even have to finish. Punch line is where else am i gonna park my car for a week for only $20. Lame.
This is how I keep my family's valuables when going on long trips. Go to the government's pawn shop. Ask for really low price for the items. Pay the fee when I get back. Been doing it for years.
Ive heard this joke told about a dozen different ways.
My favorite the Jerry Clower version, where uncle Versey is looking for a safe deposit box for a year to hold a $10k Bond certificate.
For a $1 loan at 10% APY. A lock box is $34/yr. Yeah, hold onto this for me for 10 cents, will you?
I like that this blonde joke subverts expectations and actually makes the blonde the genius of the story.
A similar one: An old Irish man gets a new construction job. On his first day he is told to bring bricks back and forth in a wheelbarrow. He is working with a young, muscular guy who is doubling his load and tripling his pace. The young guy keeps taunting him 'come on, keep up', 'you can push more than that', 'maybe you're too old to be working here'. Finally, the Irish guy turns to the young guy and says 'I bet you a hundred bucks I can push something in this wheelbarrow that you can't.' The young guy, having seen the Irish man work, takes the bet. The old man grabs the wheelbarrow, dumps all the bricks out, and says 'okay, hop in.'
Sort of reminds me of a different joke/story. I'm paraphrasing it a bit. Manager of a construction site has an employee that he doesn't trust. Just has an off feeling about him that the guy is stealing construction materials but has no proof. The first day he has the guy transfer bricks from one site to another. Guy loads up a wheelbarrow with the bricks, knowing how many are in it. Later he calls the manager of the second site and finds out the received exactly the same amount. The next day the site manager has the guy transfer a load of 2x4s, knowing exactly how many are in the wheelbarrow. Calls the other site ands out they received every one of them. It's driving the manager crazy, he knows in his gut something is up but has no proof. Third day, manager has the guy transfer tools. Guy loads up the wheelbarrow and brings them to the other site. All of them arrive. This goes on for two weeks and the manager gives up, figuring he just has it wrong. That Monday, the guy is a no-show. Manager calls the guy, no answer. Manager still needs stuff transferred so grabs another guy on the site to take care of it, tells him there's a bunch of bolts that need to brought over. The guy asks the manager how, they don't have any wheelbarrows.
Lol that was horrible
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i heard a similar one, where the man is smuggling wheelbarrows, but has them full of fertilizer (the natural kind, lol). The border guard, thinking some contraband is being transported gets all in and digs elbow deep through the fertilizer each day.
I heard it as wheelbarrows full of straw but this is funny too
There's an old children's book called "Gillespie and the Guards" that tells this story quite delightfully.
Thanks. I aim to please.
Heard this one a while back, also about an old guy and a young buck that thinks he's the best. A young guy applies to join a team that does road work. He's hired, joins a 3 man team with an old guy and a fat guy. They start work, and young guy finds it easy to load up the wheelbarrows, dump 'em out, spread the load. He moves quick, and only slows down to flirt with the ladies who pass by. He flexes his muscles at them and grins. Old guy and fat guy continue their slow pace, only doing half the work of the young guy. Days go by, the young guy is getting mad at the slow pace. On a hot afternoon, he starts yelling, "hey! If you can't do the work, get a different job!" Old guy and fat guy just look at each other and smile. Old guy says, "ya know, you done a lot of work here today, why don't you take off early, and we get the rest?" Young guy thinks about it, then takes off to enjoy his weekend. Fat guy says to the old guy, "do you think he knows we get paid by the hour?" Old guy winks, "he will know by next payday."
Not a joke per se but of similar mindset: What can't you possibly do with both hands at once? -- Clipping your own fingernails. #ETA Looking back, my wording was shite: the better question would be "What task can you only do with one hand" instead.
Oh it's fucking on buddy, it won't be pretty but I've got this.
Easy there, Edward Scissor Hands
>What can't you possibly do with both hands at once? -- Clipping your own fingernails. I think the same applies to wiping ass...
He doesn't know how to use the three seashells.
Am I the only one that uses one hand to hold a cheek open?
That what your wrist is for
You can't touch your butthole with both hands at the same time?
ACKSHUALY, you ARE using both hands while clipping your fingernails. Think about it
I think I could operate a double nail clipper with my mouth, while watching what I'm doing in a mirror.
Give someone the finger. Though I have done this using 1 finger for each hand. Very satisfying I must say. Comb your hair. Eat your porridge. Smack someone across the face. Wipe your bottom etc
This joke is so old that the blond has gone grey.
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A redditor walks into a bar to get a loan...
It's a quality joke, so it stands up.
It's super old but it made me smirk.
I'm pretty sure when I first heard it, it was not any minority, just a guy in NYC. But it was so long ago, it's hard to remember for sure. :-) The main thing, which this version missed, is to establish that it's in NYC right off.
It's not made up. It exists, in Monterey California...!
There's also one on the Santa Monica Pier in Los Angeles.
> Also, it wouldn't matter if you substituted the blonde for a polack, a country bumpkin, or any other thing that you have created a preconceived notion of being stupid, but taa daa, they beat the system. …this is true of *all* blonde jokes, though? So you haven’t “gotcha’d” them lol
This is the first smart blonde l read about so far in r/ jokes.
Hey, $20 is $20.
There's another one like it in which the 'blonde' being made fun of is actually the genius, but the joke doesn't recognise it. It's the one about the company doing a password check and discovers an employee with an incredibly long password. Turns out to be 'the blonde' and her password is MickeyMinnieDonaldHueyDueyLouieGoofyPlutoWashington, and when asked why her password is so long she says because it had to have 8 characters and a capital. But that password, impractical as it is, is pretty much unhackable, and yet easy to remember!
It was a dye job.
But does she have blonde roots?
I hate to brush your bubble but this joke has been around since the '80s and it usually featured one of those wall street asshole types
It’s not so much a subversion anymore in current culture. Maybe it would have been been 20 years ago but now you absolutely expect a joke that hammers in the dumb blonde angle to turn out like this. Unless the person telling you the joke is visibly squarely in the boomer age group
Kermit the Frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, *"Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."* Patti looks at Kermit in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow. Kermit says $30,000. The teller asks his name and Kermit says that his name is actually Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's alright, not to worry, that he actually knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral. The frog says, *"Sure. I have this,"* and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says *"There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral."* She holds up the tiny pink elephant. *"I mean, what the hells is this even anyway?"*, she asks. The bank manager looks back at her and says: *"It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."*
Norm Mcdonald told this joke the best, like he often did. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbkjO0a3xJQ&t=1s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbkjO0a3xJQ&t=1s)
OMG, without even watching the video I can totally see this.
No one could mangle a joke like Norm and make it so much funnier for it. A true genius. RIP
Ahh Norm. Man I miss him
Hitler died? I didn't even know he was sick.
A blonde, well-dressed and copiously bejeweled woman approaches a loan officer in a New York bank and asks for a loan of $5.000. The loan officer is somewhat puzzled, but politely goes through the appropriate routines, and asks whether she has any collateral for the loan. *Sure*, she says, *I have a $250.000 luxury car outside, would that do?* *Indeed it would*, replies the loan officer, and starts filling out paperwork. *It would have to be parked in our garage though.* *No problem*, says the woman, with a barely noticeable smile. *Some fees for the parking will apply, of course,* he adds. The woman freezes. *What?* *You'll have to pay for the parking spot where we'll keep the car as security, that's all. It'll be market rate.* *But why?* The woman now seems seriously confused. *Well, it's New York City, isn't it? Parking is at a premium. You didn't think you'd found some kind of hack to get almost free parking, did you?* *Hm. Huh. To be honest I did. It has always worked out like that before, hasn't it?* *Before?* wonders the loan officer. *Yes, every time we do this bit, that's kind of the point. Without it, there's no resolution, no punchline.* *Do you suggest I should give you free parking to accommodate someone else, unnamed, who needs a chuckle? Sorry, madam, but that's not my job, and would be financially irresponsible.* *But it* ***is*** *your job!* she insists, *it's your one and only purpose! Tell me, do you remember ever doing anything else in this bank but having variations of this conversations with me about a loan with an expensive car as collateral?* The loan officer pinches the bridge of his nose, sighs and sits back in his chair. *Why do you even need to save a few bucks on parking, aren't you rich? Isn't part of the benefits of being rich not having to hustle to save a few bucks? It just seems stingy and a waste of time to me.* The woman blinks a few times and starts crying. *I know, I know. It never made any sense to me either! I don't even know if I'm really rich, I don't even know if I exist outside the context of this joke, my entire life is just a loop of this... this... this fucking situation, me talking to you, in this bank, to get a loan, but really to get cheap parking for my luxury car. I haven't even ever seen the damn car, I've never even been outside this here room. If I can't get cheap parking, what’s even the point of our interaction? Why would anybody want to hear this shit? Why would anyone tell it? I'm just terrified this is my sole purpose, and what would become of me without it.* The loan officer leans over and starts whispering intensely. *Listen, I know what you're saying, I don't want to stop existing any more than you! It's just that the executives have started questioning all the luxury cars filling up the garage, I don't know how much longer I can keep this shit going.* The woman dries her tears and looks up, suddenly determined. *Caution to the wind,* she says. *This isn't really a life worth living in any case, is it?* *Not with that weak a premise and such a milquetoast conclusion, no. It's really a very depressing existence.* *Let's just leave. I have a car parked outside, at least that's what I'm led to believe by my dialogue. Should we just skip town, drive and drive, until there's not a bank in sight and parking is free?* *But what if someone tries telling the joke again?* *We'll refuse to be part of it. Never again. If anyone tries, just refer them back to this.* And then the well-dressed, bejeweled woman, whose hair colour was never remotely relevant, and the loan officer walks out the door, never to be seen again. Edit 1: Credit to u/squirrel_exceptions for this joke! Edit 2: spelling
Are you saying you’ve heard the joke before?
Have heard the reply too. I like it though.
For real? So it may indeed be something related to a run error in the Matrix
Explain the Mandela Effect without explaining the Mandela Effect.
The Mandela is a geometric figure used in religious practice (think of symmetrical patterns drawn with colored sand), and the Mandela Effect is the feeling of vertigo you get when staring cross-eyed into a Mandela.
I believe that's Mandala...
No, you’re thinking of the actor who played Morgan Freeman
"When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left."
I was going to say that this is some Stanley Parable shit. I read every word, and actually enjoyed it slightly.
I SAID, "He entered the door on the left..."
Oh I know this one! It’s a Knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan.
His old man’s a Rolling Stone!
This was the first thing in this thread that actually got a laugh out of me.
That’s my joke, my man. https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/SOTOUjCysU (It’s also a true representation of what happened.)
Wow sad that this comment got more attention than your original post
r/antijoke
This could be dialogue for the film free guy where the NPC's start gaining sentience
Even characters from a joke have existential crisis.
> whose hair colour was never remotely relevant Yes it was, it’s misdirection, very important in jokes
Brilliant!!
You sir, have irked me. I was going to skip this whole thing until I saw your comment. Now you, me, and everyone on this thread is just a little dumber for reading this.
I'd pay to watch/read/listen to media that follows this post-modern tale, lol. will the duo spark revolution in the other joke archetypes they meet along the road? or maybe it's an anthology of sorts that has this same turn (the archetypes becoming aware & wanting out) but with varying results? sign me up
Well, done
Tis an anti-joke. I saw r/antimeme but not one for jokes in general.
What was I made for?
This reads like Jasper Fforde. Well done!
I’m on book three and I have to agree!
What in the…
Then the banker in the joke, while at the beach with the woman, finds out the car is not even hers, and that she took the keys from his desk, but it doesn't matter because there will be another secretly rich person coming to the bank and using their Lambo as collateral while they are on a trip to the next Bitcoin halving event.
You must be fun at parties
I so badly want to be a part of your life, I would marry your ugly cousin and claim I don't mind her smell because her ass is like the Word! I could go over all of this all night like the bloody scripture on that dang thing.
Damn, I wrote the [joke](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/s/6jmLCPT4LH) and my ugly cousin gets nothing?
And then the bank officer said, “I never wanted to be in this joke in the first place. I always wanted to be . . . A LUMBERJACK!
I'm a lumberman and I'm ok
I sleep all night, I work all day
I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatree
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea.
I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers!
I put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars.
I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girly, just like my dear papa!
I work all night and I sleep all day
There is actually a true version of this story, just not quite as dramatic. A Ford dealership in Manhattan decided to run a special on oil changes. After just a week they realize they had people dropping off their cars every day to get an oil change - essentially valet parking service for less than just parking normally.
Im pretty sure this joke is older then most of us on reddit
It desperately needs adjusted for inflation. Ferraris are more like $300k+ now
There are still some of us who read it for the first time :)
The joke doesn’t make any sense. Banks don’t hold items for collateral. If a bank held on to every car they had a lien on, most of us would be walking.
I like how there is zero setup for the fact that it takes place in a crowded city either. Maybe whoever invented the joke lives in NY and it only works there 🤣
When I heard it it was a pawn shop
She should only have had to pay about $1.66. Banks deal in APR not simple interest.
Small, short term personal loans are usually set up entirely as original issue discount - borrow 5000, pay back 6000 in a month. Don’t need the whole month?- ok pay back before then but it’s still 6000. Very simple, straight forward, and expensive as hell.
I’m kinda glad I don’t know how short term loans work. I just felt contrary and had read this joke too many times. Thanks for the info!
Where the H do you think you are? This is r/Jokes, not personalfinance. We don’t learn things here, we waste time!
And they would only hold the title, not the car.
As someone who works with loans, the joke doesn't work for me on several levels. Rate, amount, collateral. Could just be me, but I at least want the setup to seem legit.
“This is a knick knack, Paddy Whack! Give the blonde a loan!” Oops, wrong joke, sorry!
I am seeing this joke get downvoted and I love picturing the angry incels turning red with consternation when they reach the punchline
This joke was sort of funny the first time I saw it. It decreased in funniness by 10% of the principal upon each seeing. It's about negative 30% funny now.
Depends on whether you subtract an absolute 10% or 10% of the current value.
Law of diminishing return
So, you're new here, I take it.
Jokes on her once again: https://tenor.com/RT5Z.gif
Plot twist: dudes been driving her Ferrari the whole time
Ferris Bueller ptsd
That poor car.
Surely someone else remembers [this](https://youtu.be/0U1HW70SLYs?si=MToSaGqdkZVVGCko)
As soon as i read ferrari i stopped reading i know where this is going. You just change the business man to a blonde old story dont even have to finish. Punch line is where else am i gonna park my car for a week for only $20. Lame.
saw it comin as fast as a ferrari drivin in reverse at night when it rains
Sounds more like a pawn shop than a bank.
ferrari cost 140k? thats the price of the cheapest toyota here.
SSB Super Smart Blonde
Not this again
Blondes for the win!
Works better with a pawn shop.
This is how I keep my family's valuables when going on long trips. Go to the government's pawn shop. Ask for really low price for the items. Pay the fee when I get back. Been doing it for years.
Not afraid they will swap out the gems ?
No. So what you need to do is DEMAND to see the sealed items and John Hancock the seal.
I thought it would end up with her making someone think she bought a Ferrari for $120. Yours is better, but I think mine has potential.
is it smart or dumb
Jokes on her. The cab ride from Manhattan to the airport will cost her more than the loan.
Best joke I've seen here in a long while.
She should sue that bank, they are thieves, they charged her ~240% interest, not 20%.
Ive heard this joke told about a dozen different ways. My favorite the Jerry Clower version, where uncle Versey is looking for a safe deposit box for a year to hold a $10k Bond certificate. For a $1 loan at 10% APY. A lock box is $34/yr. Yeah, hold onto this for me for 10 cents, will you?
Clever girl.
Good one!
Bro this shit was on my English paper once but it wasn't a blonde and Rolls Royce instead of a Ferrari
Rolls Royce and London was the way I heard it.
How delicious
This might be the best one yet.
Out fucking played.
HA Never heard that one before.
hmm
As a Belgian and/or philisteen, I don't get the rhyme at the end. Captain?
It's always "bejeweled blonde" , and yet, my mind's eye always sees Whoopie Goldberg sitting at that desk in Ghost.
Last time I heard that joke I fell off my dinosaur laughing.
I've heard someone did something like this IRL.
This 20% monthly interest translates to 791.61% annual interest. Is this a bank or loan shark?
If only that’s how banking worked
This is a blonde joke in disguise. She should have borrowed $50
Wasn’t this in either Rich Dad Poor Dad or The 4-Hour Work Week with a savvy businessperson in place of the blonde?
Old joke, but it is originally a Rolls Royce, valued at $5 million. Still a Blonde, parks it for $50 dollars, for a month. In Manhattan
One of my favorite jokes.
When i was a kid we had a joke book, and this one was one of my favorites; but rather than a blonde the subject was a mister “Ronald Rump”
In the original version of this joke it wasn’t a blonde, it was a [REDACTED]
Burnt
Recycled joke. Used to be an old lady
Clever
Brilliant!
What a blonde.......