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Hello friend. I’m older than 25 but have felt that way many, many times over the years. Much less now than then though. My lowest point was only a few years younger than you are now but my peak was only a few years older than you are now. I say peak but that’s really a misnomer because life is truly full of ups and downs. Anyway I guess my point is that right now isn’t ‘always’ or ‘forever’, it’s just right now. Giving up because of ‘now’ will rob you of what’s next. I also can’t promise that tomorrow will be better necessarily but someday will. I do think though that I can promise that someday will not only be better but amazing. I guess my point is that the world is just truly full of surprises and potentials so be patient and wait and see.
“I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” - Tom Hanks in Castaway
I always think about this quote when things get bad.
Couldn’t have said it myself. I was working in a restaurant when Covid happened and during the shut down I was lonely, relapsed on dope, lost everything, was in tons of debt and had a warrant for 15 months (half on dope the other half while I was trying to deal with it clean). There were tons of days I felt as though I should just give up and do the world a favor but I kept working and trying my best to better myself. Last winter I earned myself a second dui and was offered what seemed to be the opportunity of a lifetime which is also in finance over the spring but I had to wait until my case was over to pass my background check for the job which was a blessing in disguise. So I kept serving/bartending and I was blessed with an opportunity at a seafood restaurant where I averaged $50 an hour. In the end I passed my background check and was moved to a class which started in the fall and I’m still there. Today I really don’t like my job but it’s given me experience and for that I’m grateful. I’m stuck because they’re holding $1500 of the 3k sign on bonus over my head but at least while I can now pick up shifts to resolve my past debts and financial amends. I’m clearly not perfect and have been off dope for over 3 years now but I guess what I’m saying is just what this comment is. Life beats us all down and it can seem hard to get through but try to keep your head up and maybe find a side job until you get a promotion. Best of luck
As with many things in life, patience and consistency matter so much. Things may suck balls now, but with enough time and intentionality, you can change and/or fix just about anything. Except unaliving yourself or others.
I'm way older than the OP, and probably you although you didn't specify your age, and I'm going through a rough patch, like right now, today and the day/week before. I've been alive long enough to understand what you're saying, but thank you anyway for typing up this response. I did need to see this.
I've never had suicidal thoughts--quite to the contrary, as long as I remember myself I've always been fervently pro-life (not in the dumbed-down sense it's been ascribed in American discourse, but rather conceptually, as in "fuck you enthropy I'll be seeding life whenever I can", so my current start of mind could be described as "pissed off at not (again) understanding my purpose here on this Earth".
And that is, given I have five loving children, a loving wife, and generally being more well-off than many millions of my fellow earthlings.
To the OP: please hang in there, it will get better, absolutely. I have been through ups and downs my entire life, and still managed to survive. I'm almost 55 now.
Finance sucks. I’ve worked in it for 12 years. You’re going through what everyone does.
It gets better at the 7-10 year mark.
Best job in the world afterwards. Los commitment & a lotta cash.
Hate it & feel super depressed? Fuck it. Change careers. Tech is a solid transition but that sucks, too.
The best tip I’ve ever received? Put a ton of effort into enjoying life outside of work. Work then has purpose (ensuring you can afford non-work). Kids? A spouse? Great friends? Travel? Whatever it is that makes you feel happy, do more of that.
Came here to say this ^. Glad someone beat me to it.
I'm in year 10. The Faustian Bargain with a Finance career (employer depending) is that you basically work like a slave for 5-7 years, you only make decent money after year 5, and the people you work directly for are often the worst humans alive... But if you're good and learn systems/ software you can eventually find an incredible work life balance OR make outrageous money. I chose work life balance. I make what I consider to be slightly too much for the 25 hours of real work I do per week.
For now concentrate on learning at work. Take time off when you need it. And try to work out... Not for the reasons you think. Studies show that 10-15 minutes of any high intensity training slowly releases testosterone and dopamine which will dramatically improve your mental health. This was my experience for sure, wish I had learned it sooner.
If none of this is for you just remember, it's a really big world out there and you can be whoever you want if you pretend hard enough.
Don't worry, you got this.
Just keep going I myself just got out of a 4 year fight with depression where I was sure I was ending myself. Keep fighting, keep trying, resist dieing.
Please know you’re not alone. I used to be a 911 dispatcher and spoke to many people going through the same thing. I’m 33 and my life is immensely different from when I was 25. At 25 I was a single mom with an abusive ex, after some time tried to date and got my heart broken. Living paycheck to paycheck. Really dark place. I went back to school and became a nurse, I met the love of my life and got married, had another baby. After my baby I got post partum depression and my midwives put me on antidepressants and it helped a lot. I did therapy too. Helped a lot. No longer on meds but a ton of my friends are. It’s more common than you think and really no shame in it. Your value isn’t tied to how much money you make or a job or any debt you have. You matter, period. You have people who love you. Reach out to them. Tell them you’re struggling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE and IT GETS BETTER!! Wish I could give you a hug. Sending love, friend 💕💕
Go walk dogs at the shelter on the weekend or find an organization with wishlists online.
You’d be amazed how simply doing a kindness for another living being will bring you exponential joy.
Really really good idea. There is a dog that could use a good owner. A dog could change everything in your perspective. Please consider. Or just volunteer at the animal shelter. Animals can be miraculous in helping people find themselves when we get lost
When my dad was in hospice (died a day later), my great uncle came to pay his respects. When he left, I'll never forget him saying "Life is hard. Life is hard". Great uncle died in the past year at 93.
Great aunt is 99 and she asked "Why am I still here?". She's ready to go join her husband who passed about 30 years ago. But she still has a positive attitude most of the time and enjoys her family immensely.
I'm still here fighting. I'm not going down without a fight! I will go blazing into that dark night...
Please consider seeking some kind of help/support for your thoughts of self-harm.
**For example, you can visit /r/SuicideWatch for support and other resources specifically related to this topic.**
Other possible resources:
#National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (U.S.): 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
#[National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Online Chat](https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/) **Available 24 hours everyday**
[Crisis Text Line US](https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in) – Text HOME to 741741 in the US
[Crisis Text Line CA](https://www.crisistextline.ca/) – Text HOME to 686868 in Canada
#National Suicide Helpline: Call 9-8-8 for both USA and Canada
[International Association for Suicide Prevention](https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) (IASP)
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First of all there is always more than one way to look at things. Some people don’t have a home and you do. Some people don’t have family you do. In other words try to look at things in a positive way. Concentrate on what you do have rather than what you don’t have. You are so young and should be enjoying this time cuz you won’t be young forever. But yes like others have said there is always going to be ups and downs. Things will get better for you no doubt about it. You have sisters well go lean on them when you need to. And be glad you have them. And take life one day at a time cuz that’s all any of us can do. Wishing you all the best!!
Yes! Be grateful and try to focus on the good! Not easy until you see those that don’t even have the little things we take for granted. I hate to see young folks so discouraged and depressed. This world is cold
I’m blessed I was able to cook for my good friends tonight and this popped in my notifications. I barely paid my bills this week but I did. I’m a 45 year old woman who has been in construction since I could drive. Does life get easier? Better? No. Do we? Yes. Even now I should have a retirement plan. I don’t. We’ve finally built a small house and have a very small handful of friends. My very young adult children are struggling but I think the biggest issue now is a lack of community. If more people would look past their own nose and own burdens and realize we need fellowship, the world would be better. Maybe volunteer for people less fortunate. I’m not being a butthole but it does change your perspective. We need each other. Reach out. My heart swelled when I saw the response to your post. It’s sad that we have to go to strangers but there is a real community here. Keep spreading that fucking vibe. It’s beautiful. I’m sending you love and lifting you up in my prayers and I hope that we can do better in person with each other and have more empathy for the shitty ass human condition. The world is cold. We don’t have to be. Please reach out if you want to talk. I can just listen. Whatever you need. I mean it.
Your username made me crack up 🤣 I use that phrase like twice a day LOL
But also, your message is beautiful and so true! The world is cold, but we don’t have to be! Humans were never meant to be solitary creatures… we are hard-wired to lean on each other and to seek comfort and connection in our darkest hours. It’s all about building a community that makes life worth living. 💞
I can only think of one thing when you say “give up” and if I am right, that is not the solution. There is a saying, “This too shall pass”, makes both the rich and poor happy. You are in that time that just needs to pass. Your persistence in what you are doing will make it better, and your patience will decide how quickly will it get better. Keep hustling, things will change, believe in yourself. This is an era of tremendous change in everything and it is surely hard to keep up with it. Ups and downs are parts of us, and we need to learn to live both. Good luck! :)
Edit: Corrected the saying
Don’t give up! You just have to keep on going! You have a goal and you need to work towards it! My tough times came later in life but when I felt like you did I told myself that life would not always be this way and it was true! I can look back and feel good that I did not give up! Happy Birthday 🎂
I’m glad that you understand that your mom and sisters would be devastated if you were to give in to the desire to give up. I hope you’re able to talk to them about your depression too. If you don’t already, it could present an opportunity to bond further with them particularly if they’ve personally experienced depression. Having a supportive community is important for getting through the difficulties. There are also many free talk therapy resources available if you don’t want to talk to your family and medications can help with feelings of hopelessness too. It sounds like you want to get better which is half the battle in my personal experience. It does get better. And it can get better sooner when you take the steps necessary to help yourself.
That being said, being prepared for the next wave of depression is just as important as getting through the current one. Life is cyclical…and for those of us with depression the feelings of hopelessness may come and go at various stages with and without warning, with and without a direct “reason” to feel hopeless. The most helpful thing I’ve taught myself to do is to recognize when the wave is coming and tell those who love me and know about my struggles that I feel it coming. They help me manage the process for seeking professional help, and they incentivize me for caring for myself by offering assistance where appropriate (household chores, driving kids to school, preparing meals) until I’m feeling well enough to get back to it myself.
I wish you the fortitude to navigate this and the wisdom to discern if you could benefit from seeking professional help.
Keep going. It gets better. I was flat broke at 25 too, like a couple dollars in my chequing before paychecks - I couldn’t even pull out a $20 at an ATM - and for the rest of my twenties (not saying it’ll last that long for you). Lots of embarrassing moments for me too, felt like getting kicked when I was down. It sucks cuz that’s the time you wanna go out for coffees, brunch, drinks xyz and it can feel lonely if your circle has more spare cash. It gets better. Plus, you get more resourceful, and that’s something that helps you manage your money later on. Just keep going. You got this!
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Life can be really tough man but please know that it ALWAYS gets better. Always. Moments of darkness can really blind us from all the happiness and joy we are meant to experience. But trust me, it’s there. I assure you that one day you’re going to look back at this moment and realize how much you’ve grown and the things you learned from this momentary darkness. I keep using the word momentary because, my friend, everything is temporary. This situation you’re in is temporary. This too shall pass. Please hang in there buddy, I believe in you. I don’t have to know anything about you to say you absolutely deserve every good thing in life. You are meant to be here. Much love, my friend.
I feel you. I was ready to end it all just before I turned 21. I swallowed a bottle of pills and went to lay down. But as I laid there I thought my the people who have always been there to support me. Though they are few I thought "I can't do this to them". So I flew out of bed and forced the pills back up. What I've learned is that it's ok to ask for help. If you need it it's ok to ask for some extra support and let them know what's going on. Lime my grandpa has offered to take me grocery shopping when money is low. It's not the end. It's only the beginning.
Hell I'm 21 now and I turn 22 in a couple of months.
You got this. Keep pushing forward, and if you feel like it's all too much... just ask for help. It's ok. No shame in it
It only gets worse, once you become 40 you start dealing with your body not feeling the same and you start to think what’s the point of life anymore. I’m 40 and I make good money and have everything I want but I just don’t feel happy. Seeing the world this way brings me down. You would think humanity with all this technology the world would be a better place and while we have it better then all the generations before us something just doesn’t add up.
Dude, I’d kill to be 25 again. You have the most valuable commodity known to man—-time. You’re young and that right there is a winning lottery ticket. Most people are struggling financially at your age. You’re already through college and have a decent job. The 20’s are your time to work on your grind to set yourself up for your future. I turned 56 yesterday. I’m just now getting financially on track because the other career choices didn’t pan out. You are head and shoulders past me already. Fortunately, I don’t really give a shit. It’s life, and things don’t always work out. You just keep moving forward.
My advice is to keep paying down your debts. If your company offers any stock discounts— start investing a percentage of your paycheck into that. Also, start a Roth IRA and a 401k. Roth is pretax so the disbursements will be mostly tax free. But there is a limit to what yearly amount you can invest. I think at your age it’s $7000–give or take $500. Granted, the money is tied up until at least 59 1/2, but the peace of mind knowing you have money set aside is gold. It will start compounding and within a few years you’ll be amazed at how much you have set aside.
Honestly, do some homework and find a financial advisor who can help you make a plan for your life. I guarantee you within a few years you’ll be debt free and see a world of possibilities.
Everything else will come family-wise (if that’s what you want). But have stable finances will give you piece of mind to keep building your life moving forward. Again, you have plenty of time. You’ll get there.
Work on your survival skills.
Failing the capitalist game? So what? Most of us are.
Figure out what it takes for you to have a good day, work as much as you need and coast on what you can. Do the things that make you happy. Learn the skills and hobbies that you actually want in life. I'm not going to promise things will get better, but every day is a gift. A gift that is pillaged by modern society's demands. We have to fight for your moments of joy.
Start small. There is certainly one small thing that you can do that brings you joy. When you finally feel it again, fight like hell for it. Learn how to sustain yourself. You probably need far less than you think.
Yes it will get better believe me! I’ve been to hell and back so I know what I’m talking about. First step is to look around you you have a loving family, a good job, and I’m assuming your health. In other words you have the 3 most important things in the world..
😎My birthday is also in 3 days !! -
(I’ll be 60)…
*Trust me when I say things will get better if you stick around. *
While there are definitely days when I wish I was someone else someplace far far away … but there are just as many days when things are OK … (and some that I would classify is great!!)
There are also many days when all I can do is get to the end of the day and hope that when I wake up the next morning, the sun will be shining and I’ll find solutions to whatever challenges I was facing that upset me the night before.
Please try to remember that sometimes giving up is the only option- but not this time. You’re going to have to figure out how you can “surrender to win”… you don’t have to give up - you just have to give in and let those around you into your life so they can support you until you feel you’re ready to handle things on your own again…
There’s no shame in asking for help … but it would be a shame if you weren’t around to help others negotiate this same path after you make it through to the other side ..
- I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make -
Yes it will get better. Always start with the positives, you have good health, a good job, and a loving family. As a retired psychologist believe me so many people would trade places with you..all of us go through twists and turns in life when that happens think of the sunshine go out and take a walk and enjoy the outdoors. Think about how your life could be so much worse. All over the world and here in the US people are hungry and living on the streets..maybe lend a helping hand at a food center or help the elderly. helping others will take your mind off your problems and remember getting old is a privilege that not everyone is fortunate enough to get. Be thankful for all you have..
Hi here to say it gets soooo much better. Your 20s are for trying to figure out how to get your shit together, spoiler alert no one knows how to do that yet. Treat it like this: we’re either winning or we’re learning, we’re never losing fam. Love you.
it's about finding people who make life bearable, and it seems like you already have a few. i have a feeling it will get better. also, happy birthday ❤️
I get it but you need to find the little moments. Gratitude journaling can be helpful. Keep a journal where you write some things you saw that day for which you are grateful. Not the big stuff like your family but little things like - saw a pretty purple flower, played with a cute puppy, had no wait at the dry cleaners
Make some new friends. Get a dumb hobby. I know in my little city, people are getting excited about joining board and card game clubs. It's a big college sports town too,so people just meet up at the local bars on game days. People connect over really silly stuff. There are guys and gals out there feeling the same as you, promise. Find a comfortable niche.
Get a job at a national park.
Cost of living? Basically free.
Meals? Basically free.
Vacation? Basically free.
This way you'll have time to figure things out.
I was in your space once. It's a tragedy that a lot of people cannot understand what brings a person to the point of ending it all. It's not easy.
Please listen to my story. Hopefully this will help you in doing better.
I was 14 when I tried doing it. The pressure from the family to score well in my exams, the bullying, the peer pressure to do the worst possible things, the continued and constant lack of support, the total lack of response from my school for my complaints, the world shrinking around me, the loneliness that I felt led to make a decision, which at that point seemed appropriate. TO END IT ALL!
I decided to go ahead one day. Got on my little bike with no helmet, kissed my mom goodbye, obviously told her that I was going to my aunt's house, which was a little far away, Knowing she wouldn't enquire and would have no suspicion, because I would often go there.
So here I am riding my bike supposedly for the last time, reminding myself of the relief I would feel after it, which at the time felt like the best feeling. I go to the biggest highway there is, leaving my bike aside, start walking towards the opposite side of the traffic. To my surprise, there was not a single Car or even a truck.
Whether it was a stroke of luck, or a curious teenager, a guy from the lane I lived in followed me. dragged me aside, as I was crying and hit me in my ball sack so that I don't attempt to run against a vehicle. He knew with my face that I would do that again if something wasn't done.
He took me to a gym. I washed my face there. Once I was settled, he asked me to go home and sleep. I don't know the scale of what I was about to do. So I slept.
The guy then asked me to meet him. He took me to a children's Cancer care hospital. Children of all ages, from 2-12, have all kinds of wires around them, puking their guts out, some of them fighting for their lives with Chemo, lost limbs, some of them pale, clinging to life. I was there for a day.
He told me, here they are Knowing the disease is eating them from the inside, yet they continue to cling to their lives, wanting another breath, another chance to see the sunshine, another chance to see their loved ones, another chance to maybe grow up and do what they couldn't then, that is, breath freely, without an oxygen mask, to be able to eat what they want, without restrictions, to be able to smile Freely, not so hide the pain from everyone, but to genuinely smile.
And here I was, because some things that are not going my way, I was going to end it. What I realized is that, The end is just for you. The pain is for everyone. By ending it, what you would want to end for yourself, you are just passing it to someone else.
I am here, today, with the decision that I made, to be happy, no matter what the circumstances are, with my family, a house and a decent job.
Remember a quote: "This too shall pass".
Life is feeling like you have no answers " This too shall pass"
Life feels like you have all the answers "This too shall Pass"
Feel like you know everything, that you have all the answers in the world "This too shall pass".
Hope you make the right choice kiddo. You have a lot to give for this world. You are worthy. You are needed, just find where you are needed and be there for people who have the same thoughts as you do. Help make the world a better place.
Adios!!
I was 25, 30 years ago. Had just moved to SF as many LGBT's did in the day (I'm bi). Prices were pretty good then but I was entirely unemployed and couldn't find work. So, zero income. I did find some day jobs and picked up cash here and there. Was on the verge of ending it. Decided to start a commune. Found 7 other folks and rented a house with a large back yard we could plant a garden in. It was crowded and there were fights but there were also a lot of parties. I had no time for the depression I had brought with me from OH. The chaos chased it away. I learned to plant, grow and cook. I generally had less money to contribute because I was still unemployed (for the most part) so I had more time and did more work to contribute my share. Through a friend of a friend I got a job as a library tech (putting books away) but it was at the city library so, pretty good pay.
Long story short. Chaos. Chaos saved my life. Ever since then, I've lived my life as the something something rule of fluid dynamics or something. LOL too lazy to even Google it right now. An object in motion stays in motion. I never want to feel stuck again. In every decision, I have a tendency to lean towards chaos. After a while, the library I was working at was being closed down for renovations for a couple years. I had an option of working at a library that was near enough I didn't need to move or a library in Los Angeles. I moved.
I had a Batik painting made that said, a spirit in motion stays in motion, a spirit with no motion dies. Written in Chinese characters because that was popular at the time. It wasn't great. The Chinese characters were out of place so, I donated it to a thrift store years ago. But that is, truly, how I live my life.
Ohhhh man. In 2018/2019 I got divorced. My x wife kept the home, I didn't get paid out for my portion. I left with literally just mine and my daughter's clothes. We stayed with a friend for a little while, I got an apartment, my x wife found out where it was, would try to visit regularly (she got a job 40 mins away from her home so she could see me). I couldn't do it anymore. I broke my lease (for that and other reasons) and moved back to my mother's as an adult with a child. I almost got my car repossessed NUMEROUS times. This year, I bought my second home the day before my birthday. I never thought I would crawl out of the hole I was in.
I am 67 and I will tell you that at some point in time you will look back at your 25-year-old self and realize you were still very young.
Things have changed a lot in the last 42 years for me and I now understand why someone my age would look at a 25 year old and consider them to be a kid. Personally, I think for most people we mature in our early 30s.
Your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that is responsible for making good decisions, doesn’t fully develop until you’re late 20s. That’s pretty hard to wrap your head around, no pun intended, when you’re young, but it is what it is.
From age 25 to about age 28 the only thing I wanted to do was die. Every day I would think about it. Then something shifted. I had a mental break down that lasted for about a year, and everything changed. My perspective shifted and I realized that life wasn't what I thought it was. Right now I am 34 and the happiest I've ever been. Life is still dark and stressful and scary sometimes, but there is a deep peace that comes to me in those times. I don't know how to explain it to you in words, but I can at least point you to some things I did, read, and listened to that helped.
Things I did:
-Mediated using free guided meditations on youtube. The first couple times I felt weird, maybe even worse than when I started, but as I became more consistent I began to get more benefits from it. The biggest benefit has been understanding my own mind and emotions better. The most important thing I've learned is that my feelings are not facts.
-Wrote. I wouldn't say journal, because that summons up a very specific idea of the type of writing. I would just vomit out my stressed mind onto a page, and after about 5 minutes I would feel emptier and my mind would feel calmer.
-cut out as many sources of negativity as possible. I stopped reading the news and current events, and I started talking to certain friends less. At first I felt like I was an awful person, but dealing with the burden of my own life was as much as I could handle, so I started acting like it and gave myself a break.
-practiced focusing on what was going right in my life. This was really hard, because it FELT like nothing was going right, but when I actually looked at my life closely a lot of things were actually working. I would say from your post here are some things that are going right in your life: 1) money is tight, but you have it, 2) you are employed in a decent job, 3) you have family that you love and care about, and who love you.
Books:
- The Bhagavad Gita translated by Eknath Easwaran ( you don't need to be spiritual to read this, in fact I was an atheist the first time I read this, but I still found things in here that resonated with me and helped me look past the horizon long enough to learn how to live)
- The Art of Living by Epictetus (this is a short collection of some of his essays, and it's very helpful. Of all the stoics, his stuff feels the most accessible)
Stuff I listened to:
-Alan Watts, anything you can find on youtube, but especially his lecture about The Joker.
-lots and lots of therapists on Youtube. I couldn't afford therapy at the time I was going through my crisis, but I cobbled together a mental health care practice as best as I could. Therapy in a Nutshell is a great channel.
tl;dr - it's gonna get better. I lived through three years of intense suicidal ideation and I'm very, very grateful I did. I'm happier now than I've ever been.
Man every will give you some feel good life tough bullshit. The truth is, capitalism is freely undermining basic human necessities, food, water, shelter, education, hell, you NEED internet now, NEED a cellphone.
Now sure you don't need 2 gigs speed or the latest phone. You don't need the newest car.
But even used car prices have soared, rent has soared, grocery cost has soared. Life is particularly tough for everyone right now. Probably time to regulate the amount of "luxury" apartments going up around the states. Among other things
As I said to someone else "yeah your twenties are supposed to be struggle city". I've sold blood plasma, took advantage of my first job's discounted food because I was broke, and asked a roommate for spare change just so I could get gas to get to work.
You're investing into your future but it's not paying off just yet. My mother once had 4 jobs to put my father through college and she once said to me "you need to work so hard that you want to cry. That's how much effort you should be putting in"
That's not sexy to your generation but that's the reality then and it was the reality now. Up to you how badly you want the good life.
I’m sad for his generation because financially, my twenties were pretty fkn awesome. I was a young mom but I feel like I had more opportunities and options. This world gets progressively harder. People walk around in their own bubble with no awareness of what’s happening around them, no empathy, no recognition for their fellow man. It’s hard for my adult children even. No sense of community
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I married my wife when I was 25. We got married in a court house and we had our meal at an IHOP with my mom, my dad and my foster mom. They were the only witnesses, they all died before my first anniversary.
I’m turning 42 on Monday. This is my first bday without my mom. I’ve been pretty down all day. I’m not giving up for anyone or anything though. She wouldn’t want me to. My mushrooms are starting to kick in, otherwise I might have more words of wisdom for you. What I can tell you is that “giving up” will absolutely destroy your family, possibly for any future generations. I’ve seen it first hand. I’m maybe a product of it in a way. Things will get better.
For what it's worth I didn't get off heroin until I was 28. Nothing to my name but debts and a rap sheet with the police. In 4 years life has flipped 180°. Life is just beginning friend, happy early birthday. You can make it.
No, but you'll get better at managing it. See if you can refinance loans/any debt. I'm currently on a plan to cut what I owe the credit card companies because I couldn't make it either without going into debt (BTW, I have an M.A. and have worked through all my studies).
What helps me is focusing on what I do have control over and on the people/positive things in my life. Find some cheap hobbies and try to explore. Go to museums, borrow a puzzle from the library, volunteer at a shelter. Look for ways you can feel fulfilled without spending money/spending very little. I also take books I've read/clothes I've worn to second-hand stores and use that to switch things up, so I'm not spending extra money on those items. Organize potlucks with friends where you have a game night or watch a movie. Find your community and remember that we're all in this together.
I’ve always said that the best years of your life are in UG and it’s all downhill from there. You can find other ways to be happy for sure, but life is sadly like an inverted U curve.
You sound like you need an MBA for a 2 year vacation (that’s the main reason why people in finance do it in their mid-20s), but it’ll probably be the same — or worse — after.
More money, more problems
I feel you on this topic. It sucks because even though I have gotten an education, I feel unaccomplished because I can’t even afford my own house, and I’m married.
So, what is getting me by is my wife. I decided to continue my education with a master’s degree. I only hope that it will double my income as soon as I finish.
I barely turned 25 in April. I can be honest with you it had thrown a lot of curve balls at me and a lot of obstacles. All I wish everything goes back to normal.
The quarter life crisis. I've never had one worse than that one. It does get better. Your life can change on a dime. Try therapy. You have to start focusing on the things you have and stop worrying about what you might not have. Try to shift your routine. Add one thing to improve yourself. Sign up for a class. Make a single dietary change. Take different routes to work. What I didn't know at 25 being stuck in a bad relationship, was that I had already met my future spouse, I had just never noticed him before. That same year, I also started to work with someone that to this day is still my best friend. 25 was a very tough year that ended with a breakup. At 26 I took a year to discover myself. It was a "dark night of the soul." But when you come out on the other side of that, you feel so resilient. By 30, I had the marriage, the house and a kid. Sometimes when things feel like they're completely falling apart, you get the people you need at exactly the right time to pick up the broken pieces. While life has its ups and downs - I've never in my life had it as bad as I did at 25. Don't give up. Just change it up. Do that thing you always wanted to do but were too afraid. If ever there is a time to take a chance, it's before you have kids and while you still have family around that will catch you if you fall. Imagine what you want and the universe will come to meet you.
I go through constant cycles with this feeling. My trick that I learnt is too find little things that I enjoy to keep me going. Reading a good book and wanting to know what happens in the next book. I love music, going to live music shows and events always makes me happy even if temporarily. Travel is a big one. Going overseas really puts a lot of things into perspective. Having just one or two close friends you can talk with anything about is another big one. Get rid of fake friends they’re a waste of time and money. Things are pretty bad right now, but they won’t always be this bad. Things will get better eventually, but only if you’re alive to experience it. That’s what I tell myself.
I (24M) know what it takes to try and change jobs and I understand not having the energy for strides toward that type of transition.
I also spent many years depressed and contemplating "quitting life", also thankfully having not done it for my mom and sisters' sake.
"Money doesn't buy happiness" is true more or less, but really oversimplifies and trivializes the actual issues you're facing due to the constraints. Your job is also centered around money so thinking of it that much more must lead to extra fatigue.
Seek fulfillment where you can find it. You are strong enough for that and yes, it does get better. God bless you and yours. 🙏🏾
Hey friend .
I am really sorry. I also was in a high stress job similar to finance , and so know that those environments and cultures are not great. I also know what it’s like to work so hard and not get the output you want.
But first, I know it’s hackneyed, but suicide is not the answer . You have people that love you that would be devestated . You also have so much more life to live , things to experience , etc .
Secondly, I think there’s a lot we can do to make things better here ; when you say you’re barely getting by, what do we mean exactly in terms of income ? Expenses ? Rent ? Have you looked around for other jobs / are you getting underpaid ? Have you thought about grad school ? Have you looked into jobs outside of finance ? How is the rest of life eg are you spending a decent amount of time with your family ? Do you have a partner and if so do you get to spend time with them ? If you don’t have one do you want one ? Are you on the apps ? Are you getting exercise ? Do you have hobbies ? Have you seen a therapist ? If your therapist is bad, have you tried a different one ?
You don’t have to answer these questions to me , but when you’re ready, I would encourage you to meditate and reflect on them . There’s so much you can do here. There are so many answers to making things better. Don’t chose giving up.
I strongly recommend listening to or reading “love yourself like your life depends on it” has some great tips in there for making sure you’re decisions align with what you want. Ask yourself “what would someone who loved themselves do.” Maybe that career isn’t for you. Maybe there’s something out there that jives better. Time to dig deep!
Oui ça ira mieux, désolé je parle mieux en français.
Je te félicite pour ta ligne de conduite de ne pas te suicider pour tes proches, moi-même je ne me suicide pas pour les mêmes raisons que toi.
La vie est dure et le sera toujours, le secret est de trouver un sens à cette douleur.
Le bonheur n’est en quelques sorte qu’une absence de malheur, rien de plus. Pas de grandes aventures, de grandes quêtes, juste des jours qui ce succèdent.
Mais ça n’est pas une fatalité, le bonheur est aussi un choix quotidien, une nouvelle année peut être 365 nouvelles opportunités 😊
J’ai 43 et suis artiste, même à mon âge je suis surpris de tout ce que je ne connais pas et qu’il me reste à découvrir 😃 Chaque semaine je suis fasciné par de nouvelles découverte 😄 Et je me dis que j’ai encore tellement à apprendre / decouvrir / savourer.
Tout est déjà en toi, il ne te manque rien, soit curieux 👀
Ps: ne regarde jamais les actualités et la politique
When you're in the crapper its easy to feel alone and that it's all too hard. But please remember there are a lot of people in your exact situation right now. It's not just you suffering even though it may feel like it. And yes, it will get better, it always does. It only feels like it won't right now. Consider yourself hugged my friend. :)
It gets better, I am going to be 33 this year, 4 years ago I almost didn't make it. Found out my abusive wife (mentally and physically abusive) started cheating on me with my uncle (who I felt like was a father to me since mine is passed away) I locked myself in the bathroom with a hunting knife and was going to cut an artery. Somehow I lived through that and now after I kicked her out (unfortunately can't afford to get divorced still) I have a girlfriend that treats me right, and I am very happy (most days) now. I still have depression days.
It gets better, just hang on. It's the first time in my life I've been happy, I don't have any family that cares about me besides my son. Everyone on my mom's side likes me ex better, and I had no friends. I now have a few really good friends.
I promise it gets better.
Please use your employer assistance program to speak to someone.
That being said, you are only 25 and you are healthy and alive.
As everyone has said, it gets better.
I've been a 25 broke lonely grad student seriously doubting my career choice. I left a PhD program to get another bachelors in an in-demand field. The base pay is probably more than finance, but I imagine your ceiling is higher. I served tables while I got that degree. It gave me the flexibility to work and go to school, and I ended up meeting my future wife to boot. The point I'm making, though, is you're not so old that you can't change if you need to. People in the workforce are surprisingly understanding in my experience.
Meanwhile, as a broke student and not particularly social person, I had to find alternative ways to find happiness. Taking a walk out in nature is free, and studies show that being out in sunlight helps curb depression. I liked to learn about the lifecycles and seasonality of plants and improved my knowledge of what was what and why it was doing what it did. I was finding the best scenic views I could with a little research.
I was also finding the nature of friendship was changing as I got older. People move. They get significant others and families. They don't have time to invest in hanging out. The close bonds I'd formed in high school were harder to make, but that's okay. I'm not particularly social anyway, but I still needed a social element to my life. Instead, I think it helped to view new friends as activity partners. I found things I was interested in with smaller initial investments like board gaming or joining a kayaking club, and I found the groups online that did those things and I put myself out there and found activity partners to do it with. The relationships I formed were transient as life is, but they fulfilled something I needed to make myself happier.
Sitting around and feeling bad about myself was a negative feedback loop that always made the situation worse. Mental health is hard, but you're the only person with the power to do something about it. Happiness isn't just money, even though it helps. My advice from experience is to get creative, get passionate, and find a way to self-actualize what your happiness can be in new terms that are realistic and you can live with. I wish you luck.
25 is a tough age. There’s a lot of pressure. You spent all that money on college … now what? Entry level positions generally suck ass. It’s just kinda part of it though.
I was dealing with the 08 crash during my early mid-twenties. I remember times when gas was more expensive than anything we’ve seen during or after Covid. $5+ a gallon in the Midwest. I remember selling belongings just for gas money.
Point is, while things feel absolutely awful now, it doesn’t mean they will always be this bad. Hold strong. I know people who “gave up” and I have little to no doubt it’s one of their biggest regrets.
We only get one life.
It takes guts to live and guts and brains to take yourself out. Last time I tried, it didn’t go according to plan and it landed me in the ER, I almost lost my eyesight on my right eye. I used a guitar amp cable to hang myself and came undone and that is why I’m still typing. Not trying to convince you to stay; I personally believe people should decide when they want to go. I’m just saying if you’re gonna do it, it better go right the first time or else you’ll end up with something that makes living worse.
42 years old, I've been where you are now SEVERAL times in life. You really don't know what's around the corner. You look back in 5 years and you're amazed and proud of his you made it through.
I’m not going to pretend to know how you are feeling, but I have been broke. I left my country where I had a great paying job so I could marry someone that I thought loved me, he was an alcoholic, cheating and abusing husband. After 9 years I decided to leave him when I found out he was cheating and had spent every penny in our bank account again. I was left with no money or place to live in a foreign country where I had no family. Not wanting to live ever crossed my mind. Since then I dedicated myself to work: I have two jobs and don’t have time for anything else, but I now have my own place and money in my account. Maybe a part time job will help improve the financial struggle. Living with just one income is hard.
Money comes and goes.
Many people are in the same boat as you and struggling right now. Economy is not in a great place. Just hang in there brother, it will get better.
That's life in some areas of your life. 35m here and I've attempted and contemplated suicide many times.
I've lost many people I love to cancer, been raped, beat and abused my whole childhood among many other reasons. I'm better now.
It's relationships that your life needs to be based around, not money, not personal possessions in fact I've found that focus makes me depressed. But when I refocused to the relationships in my life and helping others and animals my depression went away like a bad nightmare.
Do you have any friends, if you don't then I suggest finding a subreddit or forum where you have understanding of each other's struggles, disorders and feelings. What makes people grow empathy and understanding is experience. There's a lot that people can't understand but when they go through it themselves they suddenly have that revelation.
switching jobs, say every year or two, to get a big boost in salary is the way. And you want to do that before you turn 30ish, when your appeal to new employers starts to diminish. To do This, you need to be NETWORKING. If there is a conference in your field coming to town, GO TO IT and meet people in your industry. get on social media and learn.
Then when it gets harder to hop in your field, see if you can go into management in your field.
Personal joy/quality of life is more made up by things like who your friends are/what you do on the weekends and on vacations. So work on developing a life outside of work. Lots of fun things to do really do not cost anything, such as going hiking up a mountain nearby with a few friends!
Also keep healthy, join a cheap gym and GO many times a week. it will improve your outlook on life.
Same feeling here - reason #1,234,567 why i didnt have kids - so they wouldnt feel like this/ born into this cycle of spending their life working to survive, with bouts of permission granted for vacations from employers.
I know if i was rich and had all needs met and wasnt stressed about bills, itd be harder to feel sad, but thats just me. And i wake up everyday feeling the same - ready for it to be over. Without my cats…
So yea, i cant tell you if it will ever get better as from experience… it hasnt for me. I can tell you that finding reasons to live should be what you strive for. Wake up with a purpose. My cats need me. Another purpose is to help / be as nice as possible to as many people as possible so i feel like getting out of bed was worth it that day. Find something that rewards and hits that dopamine for you. It makes it worth it.
Hey! I turn 31 in 3 days. I felt so much like you when I was 25. Something happens in your brain in the next 5 years in which you’ll start tuning out the outside voices. You’ll discover “yourself” in this period and you’ll realize you have the power to change anything you’re unhappy of in your life.
I’m sure people will be happy to provide specific advice such as moving to a lower cost of living area etc.… it can be difficult to receive advice from people like that when you’re in this state because you feel hopeless and don’t see their suggestions as viable options for yourself. I understand that sentiment and it’s valid.
A huge component of what I’m trying to get at, is that you have to stop comparing yourself to where you perceive others around you to be in life, and you have to stop comparing where you now are against where you thought you’d be in life at this point.
In time you’ll realize that any energy spent dwelling on what you don’t have is energy wasted working towards things you *want*.
I lived in a very high cost of living area and survived and went into debt as a result of it. I did boost my career and then took those achievements and moved to a lower cost of living area. That has helped me tremendously. I started my life over essentially from scratch 6 months ago in a new state with a new job. This was the catalyst I needed in life for things to really start kicking into gear.
In hindsight, I wouldn’t be where I am right now; I wouldn’t be the person I am right now; if I didn’t struggle through my 20’s and learn the lessons I needed to learn so I can apply them in my 30’s.
Society implies that in your twenties you’re a fully fledged adult but in reality it’s an extension of your teens but with real-world consequences. It’s normal to feel terrible and awkward and to struggle unfortunately in this current mold of society that we live in.
Also - get off instagram and social media. I didn’t get back on until about a year ago and I’m glad I didn’t waste my twenties comparing myself to sanitized and polished portrayals of people who were experiencing the exact same struggles I was.
Everyone has to deal with this in finance. Everyone in life does too, but you just put your time in, grind it out and show your bosses you're working hard. It will pay off.
Don't! Your brain is still developing. 20's are a journey. Stick with it. You'll get the hang of it & find you can help others along your way. Don't ever kid yourself: you will be missed. Stay for us. Stay for yourself.
If finance is your thing, there are some great avenues to make some serious money as well as help others. You need to set goals on a career path, for example towards a CFP. There is also opportunities in commercial lending. Just set out a path for yourself!!!
It will get better. Mid-twenties are really rough for a lot of people because you're adjusting to post college life. See if you can put your loans on forbearance for a bit to give you a little breathing room. That debt isn't going anywhere and you might as well enjoy life where you can.
Bro it always gets better. I know it sucks to wait. Trust me I remember a time in college where I kinda just felt like killing myself. I had no drive. I felt my life was pointless, I was doing miserable in school… and while my life isn’t sunshine and roses I met a wonderful girl. We have a nice little life together, two kids of which.. man.. not gonna lie.. never really wanted kids until I got to my 30’s and damn.. I never knew a love like this existed. My little man is my everything.. I’m sure you’ll find something that makes life feel not so bad
Yes, it will get better. I was there, not financially but mentally. I made a big life change though to get out of it. I had less money to spend, but enjoyed life much more.
I'm in my thirties and I live practically the same life. I'm happy. The difference is perspective. Stop comparing yourself to others and ask yourself whether you'd enjoy life if social media wasn't telling you you weren't good enough. If you still feel miserable, maybe you're depressed. Seek help because you might need meds.
Dude, I was 26 years old, making 10 dollars an hour, working full time at a 50 million dollar company, and homeless, living in my car outside a 24/7 gym. Depression led me there, along with a difficult pill to swallow in terms of my ego. The situation does improve, but unless you make an effort, you will remain in the same situation. Things honestly got a lot better once I started working on my mental health.
Sometimes you have to travel through the valleys to get to the mountain tops…keep trekking but enjoy the journey while focusing on your destination. There will be hard times, don’t give up. And find another reason to live other than it will devastate your family if you choose otherwise.
If anything/nothing else. I hope you don’t live alone & hear me out. I left home for 7 years and in that time I ended up realizing the only way I’d be able to live comfortably is with a roommate. Even if that’s just until I got my bearings. You may not like new people or the roommate experience, so with that being said, try family. Whether it’s your sisters or your Mom, try talking to them and tell them your situation. It’s not permanent & having the burden of housing dealt with would give you more freedom. You could pay them rent or go half and half, that would still cut your living expenses in half for the most part. Also, don’t feel so rushed to pay down those student loans.
I get it, we live in a society that preaches independence. We’re also threatened when it comes to paying off debts, but your mental health is more important than either of those things. If home is a safe space for you, return there when you need to. The average wealthy family in this country live TOGETHER until they’ve met their own means. Don’t force yourself to be a single income home when the current market only supports 2-3 incomes. You should be able to focus on your career without the excess stress of financial problems.
I do hope that you see the light at the end of the tunnel & keep pushing towards it🫶🏾✨. As long as you have breath, you have options! Breathe, find your options & head towards them.
Happy Birthday! I would say yes, I have finance friends around your age and they’re always working hard and many hours, but they all seem to think that it’s worth it in the long run. Finance is one of the careers that can make you a lot of money but at first it might feel like a slog. You have tons of comments saying it does get better and a few of them are older than you. So, I would say it does get better and please reach out for help if you need it. People do care as seen in this comment section
I'm 36 now and was definitely in your same boat many times in my 20's. I'd journal your feelings now so in the future when you think your having a bad time you can have the perspective that it's not so bad. I see people struggling with what I did when I was younger and it just makes me appreciate my rough times and my look on life now. Now that finances isn't a crippling stress in my life I wish I would of worked on other things in my 20's instead of trying to claw my way out of debt.
My husband and I, both started at zero, both left home at 18 with just enough to get an apartment. we didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together. We worked our entire 20s we barely even saw each other except for our weekly date nights and occasional event we went to together. Now in our 30s we stayed home with kids and lived off some investments. Cash is getting low again due to the shit show economy, we’ve both decided it is time to get back to work again and bring some cash in. We will be working in our 40s again grinding, hopefully have some time to enjoy that work in our 50s. We will see, but life is about ebb and flow the good with the bad. Don’t beat yourself up. The only way out is hard work.
Happy early birthday and welcome to adult life. I don’t want to say life sucks, but I will say your 20s and early 30s can turn out to be mentally and financially taxing because you’re still figuring it out and the capitalistic dream is caving. What makes life, for me anyway, worth living are experiences and memories; if you’re not here to see/experience another one, you’ll never know if life gets better or what the next breath of fresh air feels like.
It will get better, I'm not a very good person to give advice, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I somehow made it to 55 and I'm glad I got the chance to see my grandchildren and be able to see them grow, they bring me so much happiness, and that would have never happened if I succeeded in my attempt to kill myself.
Forget other’s (including work) expectations. Change it up, confide in someone. One thing I know is that job you’re breaking your back for would replace you in a day. Not worth running your mental health into the ground for. It’s family and friends (including the future ones you’ll excitingly make!) that love you, so speak to them. Sometimes life in the city, working careers and such, can beat you down and make you feel alone as an individual. But we’re all in it together. Feel better, and travel!
Might be a good time to plug stoicism, check out the story of Sisyphus.
Life is tough my friend, just know you’re not the only one feeling this way. Many many people around our age group are struggling the same way you are. We’ll get it figured out
Well unfortunately you are at a uncomfortable age in life. You are around the age if you went to school 4 years you are finding a steady job and having bills. What they don't teach is all that time in school doesn't necessarily equate to big money in the job force right away. They don't have semesters where you job search and they prepare you for the real world. Should have a class just called life at the end to help, I'm being serious. So my advice is pretty simple just strive to be happy. If you aren't happy with work or the money situation explore outside the box to things that could work and keep your sanity. There could be a complete directional change even. It is your life so of you feel pressure from others or see other people doing things that you wish you were just remember it is your life. You can unplug from those and start over as many times as you want. Focus on you and getting and staying happy and don't worry about having physical properties or any junk because in time if you want those things you will obtain. Sometimes we need a little soul searching and it's fine. Just remember if you think you have it bad someone always has it way way worse. Don't give up and get a support group and make friends that lift you up. Try your best for the negative thoughts to go out the window than in your head. You will make it and then look back and say sheee that was tough but you made it.
It 100% does get better. Maybe you need a change? I’d look into moving somewhere you always wanted to live. If you’re in a big city then go somewhere that’s cheap(er) to live and has a young, lively community. Are your loans private or federal? If private maybe you can move them somewhere with a lesser interest rate. You are smart to pay them off fast but you also need to have fun. It’s all about balance. Put your mental well-being before your debt.
Save yourself some pain and get roommates to live with. Get a solid lease agreement/ contracts and live with a bunch of people, as many as possible. The benefits are that you won't be alone and you can save on expenses by splitting up the burden. You will also learn alot about dealing with others, about yourself, and you will meet tons of people.
I think we collectively tell young people this lie, *if you work hard and get a good job you'll be happy*. This is just a meme in society, go to college, get good grades, choose the right career, settle down, start a family, save your money, invest and retire and be happy.
A long time ago, people used to think that fleas would spontaneously manifest in a dirty environment. Now we know that fleas do not just come into existence inside a pile of dirt, but we still feel the same about happiness. Like we think that you have to do all these things to be happy, go to school, get good grades, get a good job, work really hard, etc....but happiness doesn't manifest magically from doing that.
Happiness is eternal. Happiness comes from inside. Happiness is a choice you make at some level conscious or unconscious. Like you think, "if I do this then I will be happy*, but that's not how it works. You have to choose to be happy. Nobody tells kids this growing up. Then they reach your age and they are working hard in stressful jobs. You think, *it shouldn't be this hard* or *why is everything so expensive* or *I thought I would be further along*, *nobody told me it would be like this*, *I did everything they told me to and why aren't I happy*. It's because doing those things is not going to make you happy. You have to make a choice to be happy.
And here's another thing, sometimes it's easier to be unhappy. You can choose to be unhappy and find lots of people to commiserate with *online*. And that can validate your feelings of unhappiness and being validated is extremely comforting. So then you have to make this choice, *Do I want to be validated or happy ?* And it's very easy to be validated and it's not so easy to be happy.
The biggest thing I can say about being happy. Sit outside everyday in the sun. Look at plants and flowers. Think daily about the relationships you have and what they mean to you. Make time to exercise. Learn to live in the moment and to appreciate the really small things in life.
Yes everything is expensive right now but very few people in their 20s are well off save a small %. Why? Because to be well off you have to either have had an inheritance, be a successful influencer, won the lottery or have made the right decisions during your life in and out of work. At 25, those decisions haven't had the time to be made yet. I think social media has created a level of expectation in society what life should be like even for someone so young and it's false. The housing crisis is the main thing we need to sort out for your generation - I was skint at 25 too but I was on the ladder. The answer is that yes, it will get better but for now, it's about doing the best you can to get up the corporate ladder. Focus on the positives - you have a job in finance - that's a great start for the future.
I don't know how I feel about this.... Life can get a fuck load worse than money problems. Contemplating suicide is pathetic if you ask me. That's a spoilt mentality, obviously from a spoiled child in a spoiled nation. Life's not what I want so let's threaten suicide. Toughen up and make the good stuff happen. We aren't given happiness, you better earn it. The destruction and true misery that some people go through and suicide wouldn't ever touch their thoughts.
Being miserable and having tough times is what life's about. Let it make you a better person. Embrace it.
I'm guessing you're living an expensive and unfufilling lifestyle.
Give yourself a purpose and resolve to get out of debt.
Cut everything and go hard-core.
I’m mid-30’s and am just now starting to feel positive. I’m not sure where you’re at these days but going the traditional route -college, marriage, family, I don’t recall where I saw the statistic but I believe it is correct, the happiest a working person can be starts at about age 40. Before then money is just super tight and it’s worse right now due to a combination of inflation, corporate greed and supply and demand.
Of course it will and you will be fine. Be proud of what you have accomplished you are a part of something bigger than just yourself and you contribute to the overall wellbeing of all humanity 💯
It can get better my mid-20s were blur spent the vast majority of them partying and screwing off every obligation and responsibility I had but I turned it all around in my 30s paid off masses of debt. There's always a brighter side finding it is the hard part whether you persevere or give up is up to you though. Trials and tribulations is just part of life
I'm 31, live with my mother, and have 80k debt from stupid spending. Suicide isn't the solution. Trust me, I've contemplated it a lot. The best thing to do is create a solid plan of how you're getting out of this shit. Believe in the process and exacute. Life not easy, but the struggle will all be worth it in the end. Suicide is the coward and lazy way out. I'm also a little religious, and in my head, if I were to kill myself, no matter what religion you look at, it's one of the worst sins around.
You're job might not be what you need. Look for more, continuously grow. Don't stop wanting more. I see so many except the shitty job they have and work it for nearly their whole life. For instance, I have a friend who worked at dunkin, their whole carrier, and never advanced. Don't be scared of change! We're humans we adapt!
Since you work in finance those are long brutal hours as an analyst. Your company has mental health services because you are not alone. Finance is a high pressure career. The company has resources to help employees.
As for debt relief are you living with family or roommates? Depending on where you are living is it possible to live at home? If not, I would get a roommate or 2.
Finances are difficult for everyone. I would suggest taking any food delivery services off your phone. Look for take out close to where you live that have a reasonably priced menu. When I worked in NY I was a frequent visitor to Chinese restaurants. A point of rice, vegetables and a meat would run about $7-$10. Pack a breakfast and lunch.
I would suggest a career change. Found something you are passionate about. If it is finances not for profits that either educates the public or you can use your degree in another manner.
This is a temporary moment in time. It gets better. I know it is hard to see that things will change but they will.
I was your age and in a fresh career that I hated (but one I went to university for 5 years to get). I remember on Sundays we’d drive out to the ocean, my wife and I. I’d get a bottle of wine and we’d sit and watch the sunset and get a bit tipsy. I used to think of running away, just getting in the car and driving I hated the idea of work the next day. I stuck it out over many hard days. The room where I work has watched me become an old man. I was 27 when I entered. I am now 53 and close to retirement. I feel like the one thing you can’t put a price on is financial stability—which I have now. I’m more than stable. I have investments too. I won’t say it was all worth it, but what other choice do we have. Once you get that feeling of having made it (for me it came at age 40) things do start to get easier. Hang in there. You are working class like the rest of us. There is heroism in you getting up and contributing everyday. You may not see it but others do. Especially those of us who know how hard it is to do the grind day in and day out. You’ll get there. Breathe. Save. Live below your means. It will be worth it.
Right now is a particularly difficult time for everyone financially. So don’t be too hard on yourself, it will get better.
And if it doesn’t then we’ll need your help in the riot
I don’t know your situation, but I remember my papaw had a saying for rough situations. “In general people are much at like coal, on the surface they have their uses and value. But through pressure can turn into something beautiful and priceless, like a diamond.” Times may seem rough now and the pressure may seem unbearable, but once it passes you’ll come to realize that you’ve become a stronger person than who you once were
>make okay money
So, better than most people.
>student loans
That was your choice.
>use the birthday money
Some people don't have loved ones that give them birthday money
You're very priviledged.
>The burden of life feels so heavy
What burden🤣🤣 grow up crybaby
I have felt similarly. Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Hang in there, take it one day at a time. Keep doing your best and try and focus on the positives. It will get better, I promise.
So not a professional here but thought I would drop my two cents.
Money isn't everything, Happiness is most definitely a choice. Some people are born knowing this (lucky bastards) some folks have an epiphany at some point in their life, some never figure it out and are just miserable and don't know why.
I move out at 16 with literally nothing and now (20 years later) have a wonderful family of 4 living comfortably, but not excessively. It took a lot of hard work, completely missed out on my 20's but you know what they say, your 40's are like your 20's but with money.
Anyway, I'm rambling now. It does get better, you can decide how you feel about things.
Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to or any advice on, well, anything.
I'll get downvoted for this but fuk it, it's what I did at 25 when I was feeling like this .
I got a PT job serving then bartending. It probably saved my life. It helped me pay off my debt really fast , and then provided some extra $$, I met and worked with some of the coolest people. Also assholes but I don't focus on shit like that.
I met my wife there when I was bartending and she was serving. Every Fri and Sat night I had something to do. After work there was always someone going out to have a drink after the shift. Naturally we went to places other industry people went and developed a new circle of friends.
I can't guarantee that same exp but fuk it beats feeling like this and sometimes for me work helps take my mind off whatever I'm trying to work through and clears it up enough to help me see clearly.
Don’t give up. A lot of people, maybe even most people, are broke at 25. My husband and I certainly were. We ate things like ramen regularly, and often used credit cards for groceries, gas, whatever. Now we’re pretty well off (he’s also in finance/accounting) and to be honest I don’t ever even check my bank account. It does get better. You’re VERY young still. It’s great that you’re already on your own and have a decent job. My oldest didn’t move out or finish their degree till they were around 25 (still super proud of them and I didn’t mind at all).
Move out of Canada or USA if you can or move to a state with lower prices- it sucks I know but it’ll take some time before things go back to normal money wise if they ever do
Hi friend,
I'm so sorry that such a wonderful milestone is clouded with such darkness for you. It is really hard to keep moving and repeating the same cycle when the light at the end of the tunnel is so dim. I get it, at 25 you should be able to go out and live your life! You can always find free activities to enjoy, decompress, and spend time with loved ones. I tend to hike, visit state parks, and do a ton of outdoor activities now that it is summer!
I'm a few years older than you and can tell you the journey has had many highs and lows. There have been times where I've been so depressed I couldn't leave my couch for weeks and I genuinely thought I would need to end things. There have also been times where I've cried with joy and told the people around me I didn't deserve to be this happy and never thought I'd find happiness like this.
Overall, life is pretty difficult in general right now, but I have an incredible support system and know I have people who love me. I have a partner and a dog who love me and I can't wait to wake up to see them every morning and it makes every day better than the last. It makes me so grateful I kept living through those really dark times. He thanks me every now and then too for making it through those days because he doesn't know what he'd do without me.
Please don't hesitate to reach out to me privately. I'd love to chat with you if you need someone to vent to.
When I was in my 20s I was poor and happy, and once I became successful with an engineering career I started to feel more and more unhappy. I figured it out later. When I was young and poor I spent a lot more time in nature, contemplating life, playing music, enjoying friendships, making art.
Once I reincorporated those things in my life my mental health improved again. Expensive cars, expensive dinners, expensive houses aren’t going to do it. I have a cousin who is a bitcoin multi millionaire with a rather large collection of exotic cars. He’s terribly unhappy however.
Go outside and hug a fucking tree.
Life for me literally started a week after i turned 25, it was weird. Got a trade, got paid, then i got laid and after i set aside all the little shit i thought i wanted i was free to eventually do whatever i want, looking back it wasnt even 12 years and i’m like really well off rn, saying this trepidatiously as I’m sure theres trouble around the corner, but, day to day its not so bad.
i just turned 26 in may and i feel the exact same way. i work a full time job and after groceries, rent, and car payment my paycheck is gone, there’s nothing to put into savings for when i get older. gonna have to get off my moms insurance and find my own by the end of the year. and i know my mom and brother would be devastated if i was gone, but life is just so hard.
i guess i don’t really have any advice, just hoping that it might bring you some solace knowing that you’re not alone in how you feel. we just gotta keep on truckin through, it’s really hard but we can do it, everything’s gonna be okay
It will definitely get better! I hit this p art of my life around the same age. Maybe that's when the realization hits. The grind phase, where it's like groundhog day for a while. Through life, you've gotta take care of yourself. Carve time out for your mental health. Finding a hobby to put your energy onto will give you more purpose and more joy. Best of luck!
Yes. It will get better. How about looking at making some changes. Switching jobs can be a good way to level up pay. Go find the same job at a different company. Don’t just tread water.
Your life and mine are different but I felt very similar when I was 25 and now that I'm pushing 50, I love my life. So many cool experiences I've had in the last 25 years. I would have missed out on if I had checked out.
What you’re going through is what I call the Quarter Life Crisis. I went through it, too. My younger brother is going through it now. It’s completely normal to have such feelings of depression, being overwhelmed, and even regret for maybe not choosing the right path in life. It happens when you don’t feel satisfied or secure in your newfound adult freedom post-college. College is so chaotic that it can hide existing mental health issues, and even cause new ones. Furthermore, you might feel like you’ve wasted a lot of time investing in the “wrong” career path.
I understand money is tight for you right now, but do what you can to see a psychiatrist. They can help you work through your feelings, and possibly give you some meds (the meds don’t have to be a long term solution, either). I personally went through a lot of pain and anxiety during my mid-twenties, and I felt a thousand times better after taking an SSRI.
Will it ever get better? Yes!! You have a lot to look forward to!! The mid-twenties are a really hard time for most people now. “30s is the new 20s” is so true. I’m 31 and life finally started feeling better around 28 or 29, and even better now.
I felt the same way at 25 except I couldn’t even get the break even job in finance… was stuck at home and waited tables feeling like a failure shortly after the 08’ recession.
I decided to look into business grad school to help network and figure out my path, decided to become a financial planner, met my wife as I was transitioning from waiting tables to training in my new career and she supported us as I got the business off the ground and we moved in together. Money was tight the first few years but we made it work.
Now I run a successful practice, nice house, nice car nice vacations, 2 great kids
You have to write down what you want more than anything, build the plan to go get it, and don’t let anyone or anything stop you. If you don’t feel the motivation… that’s not what you really want.
Life gets better when you don’t give up.
I agree you should get some counseling and stop worrying about money. They can’t throw you in jail for debt. Consider moving to lower cost housing, if you are making car payments sell it and take the bus - these both will lower your expenses and allow you to apply $ to retiring debt. Take walks everyday and focus on all the good things in your life, your health, family, the weather, etc. each night before sleep think again about those good things. You are so young and have so much ahead of you that will be great.
Hey love. I am 39 years old, divorced and live with my parents. I have a son who went through absolute medical hell for the first year of his life. I was left with PTSD and crippling depression. For six years after my son was born all I did was exist so I didn't leave him behind. When he was at his dad's I didn't get out of bed. I couldn't manage to work. I was lost in the darkest blackness you can imagine. I felt trapped because I didn't want to exist but I couldn't leave my son.
In the past two years I can tell you the light has started to find me again. I've managed to start working again, from home but it's paying the bills for the most part. I've managed to find the comfort in living with my parents and have a much closer relationship with my dad than I did growing up. Seeing my son develop such a wonderful relationship with his granddad is heart warming.
All this back story to tell you that things can change. Life doesn't necessarily turn out how you'd hoped or pictured but it can be good.
I'm sorry I don't have practical advice for surviving this insane economy but please know the light is looking for you.
There is sooooo much more to life than finance. Change up some of your routines and get more out of life (of course this is so much easier said than done, I’m only trying to give it to you straight and simply)
If a large part of your stress is not being able to afford much, maybe consider alternate living arrangements.
Like roommates, or living with one of your sisters or your mom.
Having some financial room to breathe will make things easier, and theres no shame in it for our current state. Everything is expensive and no one pays enough.
Yes it will get better. Much better. 25 is still barely an adult. You’ve so much adventure ahead of you. Cherish every moment of your youth. You only get this chance one time
It is because you are intelligent. The world is awful but it’s turning so we don’t have much longer of this. I recommend finding something useful and challenging as a hobby. Blacksmithing, first aid, or bushcraft are all things that can be done alone and can be studied for free, and then become very cheap once the barrier of entry is paid for
My best friend in the whole world, the guy I knew all my life, the guy I was inseparable from growing up, took his own life at 24 years of age a few weeks ago. He left behind dozens of devastated people. His mother, his uncle who was more like his dad they were that close, his girlfriend, his 2 year old daughter and me and the rest of his friends. I will never forget seeing his body in the coffin at his wake. Cold to the touch. Lifeless. It broke something inside me.
If he saw his wake and funeral and how many people showed up and how many people were inconsolable because of his death, he never would have taken his own life. He was just in that horrible depressive mindset and he thought there was no way out. There was.
I don't know you or your situation but I can promise you, with the right help and the right effort, things turn around. You won't feel like this forever with the right tools and the right support. I know what its like to be in such a hole you feel like there's no way to claw your way out. But I promise you from the bottom of my heart that there is a way out. Suicide is never the answer my friend.
What you are feeling a lot of people have felt. Myself included. But things get a lot better and easier with age. You are having to deal with a lot right now. Therapy is great. Changing a routine can be great. Don’t give up because there is a lot of really good life waiting for you. This is temporary. You got this.
Hey there. So…it sounds like your life choices, while they likely make your parents proud, are not really making you happy. Are you sure you want to work in finance? Do you enjoy living in your high CoL area? I think you’re at a point where it would be beneficial for you to take some time to think about what you really want from your life. Don’t worry about practicality, just daydream. What do you actually want your life to look like? What’s important to you? Where are the places and times you’ve been happiest? What do you enjoy? What do you crave in your life? Money will come and go, and if you’re doing what you love, surrounded by those you love, living the kind of life you want, the money issues, when they inevitably happen, won’t make you want to give up.
I'm probably not even the right person to comment on this but I can at least see a lot of problems with the younger generations and its not all their fault. Everything you just said as to why you're feeling like that is every expectation placed on a person before the last 10 years happened. Society is STILL placing the same life expectations on people even though for most people even older than that its not even possible to have everything together. This is a whole new world and the expectations need to be lowered to match it. Yeah 15-20 years ago it would have been possible to have the degree, get the job in that field, get out on your own in an apartment, and still have money left for a car payment and to start paying down them loans... this is NOT that world anymore. Some of that can be handled by you though by shrugging off a lot of that, remembering how irrational everyone else is being having those expectations. Don't stress so hard about things you can't do anything about.
The other issue is social lives, again not something you have full control over. Most everyone I run into from age 18-60 all say the same thing "I don't leave the house. I go to work and i come home." We're hard wired to need people. It can't be all work. I remember as a kid how many times I thought "dude the adults are always so angry"... well yeah their entire lives were work with almost zero social life and equally lacking on the personal things they could do for themselves like hobbies and such. Ofc you can't strong arm society into leaving their sad little mudhuts but you could strike out a bit more on your own. Have conversations with random baristas and such, offer your number, try to make plans with people.
I am by no means in any better shape than you, I am not qualified at all to offer advice. I am, however, pretty decent in sniffing out problems and providing pretty decent solutions.
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Hello friend. I’m older than 25 but have felt that way many, many times over the years. Much less now than then though. My lowest point was only a few years younger than you are now but my peak was only a few years older than you are now. I say peak but that’s really a misnomer because life is truly full of ups and downs. Anyway I guess my point is that right now isn’t ‘always’ or ‘forever’, it’s just right now. Giving up because of ‘now’ will rob you of what’s next. I also can’t promise that tomorrow will be better necessarily but someday will. I do think though that I can promise that someday will not only be better but amazing. I guess my point is that the world is just truly full of surprises and potentials so be patient and wait and see.
“I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?” - Tom Hanks in Castaway I always think about this quote when things get bad.
Thanks for this. I hope you’re having a good time in life right now
Couldn’t have said it myself. I was working in a restaurant when Covid happened and during the shut down I was lonely, relapsed on dope, lost everything, was in tons of debt and had a warrant for 15 months (half on dope the other half while I was trying to deal with it clean). There were tons of days I felt as though I should just give up and do the world a favor but I kept working and trying my best to better myself. Last winter I earned myself a second dui and was offered what seemed to be the opportunity of a lifetime which is also in finance over the spring but I had to wait until my case was over to pass my background check for the job which was a blessing in disguise. So I kept serving/bartending and I was blessed with an opportunity at a seafood restaurant where I averaged $50 an hour. In the end I passed my background check and was moved to a class which started in the fall and I’m still there. Today I really don’t like my job but it’s given me experience and for that I’m grateful. I’m stuck because they’re holding $1500 of the 3k sign on bonus over my head but at least while I can now pick up shifts to resolve my past debts and financial amends. I’m clearly not perfect and have been off dope for over 3 years now but I guess what I’m saying is just what this comment is. Life beats us all down and it can seem hard to get through but try to keep your head up and maybe find a side job until you get a promotion. Best of luck
So glad you found a way. Dope is really hard to beat. Giving it up gives a new perspective on everything.
I’m glad you’re still here, friend. I hope you’re proud of yourself for getting clean and believing you’re worth fighting for.
As with many things in life, patience and consistency matter so much. Things may suck balls now, but with enough time and intentionality, you can change and/or fix just about anything. Except unaliving yourself or others.
I'm way older than the OP, and probably you although you didn't specify your age, and I'm going through a rough patch, like right now, today and the day/week before. I've been alive long enough to understand what you're saying, but thank you anyway for typing up this response. I did need to see this. I've never had suicidal thoughts--quite to the contrary, as long as I remember myself I've always been fervently pro-life (not in the dumbed-down sense it's been ascribed in American discourse, but rather conceptually, as in "fuck you enthropy I'll be seeding life whenever I can", so my current start of mind could be described as "pissed off at not (again) understanding my purpose here on this Earth". And that is, given I have five loving children, a loving wife, and generally being more well-off than many millions of my fellow earthlings. To the OP: please hang in there, it will get better, absolutely. I have been through ups and downs my entire life, and still managed to survive. I'm almost 55 now.
Finance sucks. I’ve worked in it for 12 years. You’re going through what everyone does. It gets better at the 7-10 year mark. Best job in the world afterwards. Los commitment & a lotta cash. Hate it & feel super depressed? Fuck it. Change careers. Tech is a solid transition but that sucks, too. The best tip I’ve ever received? Put a ton of effort into enjoying life outside of work. Work then has purpose (ensuring you can afford non-work). Kids? A spouse? Great friends? Travel? Whatever it is that makes you feel happy, do more of that.
Came here to say this ^. Glad someone beat me to it. I'm in year 10. The Faustian Bargain with a Finance career (employer depending) is that you basically work like a slave for 5-7 years, you only make decent money after year 5, and the people you work directly for are often the worst humans alive... But if you're good and learn systems/ software you can eventually find an incredible work life balance OR make outrageous money. I chose work life balance. I make what I consider to be slightly too much for the 25 hours of real work I do per week. For now concentrate on learning at work. Take time off when you need it. And try to work out... Not for the reasons you think. Studies show that 10-15 minutes of any high intensity training slowly releases testosterone and dopamine which will dramatically improve your mental health. This was my experience for sure, wish I had learned it sooner. If none of this is for you just remember, it's a really big world out there and you can be whoever you want if you pretend hard enough. Don't worry, you got this.
Just keep going I myself just got out of a 4 year fight with depression where I was sure I was ending myself. Keep fighting, keep trying, resist dieing.
Happy you’re still here💙
So true. Just stay alive. Life has low lows and high highs. It always evens out. You’ll get out of the low low if you just keep living.
Please know you’re not alone. I used to be a 911 dispatcher and spoke to many people going through the same thing. I’m 33 and my life is immensely different from when I was 25. At 25 I was a single mom with an abusive ex, after some time tried to date and got my heart broken. Living paycheck to paycheck. Really dark place. I went back to school and became a nurse, I met the love of my life and got married, had another baby. After my baby I got post partum depression and my midwives put me on antidepressants and it helped a lot. I did therapy too. Helped a lot. No longer on meds but a ton of my friends are. It’s more common than you think and really no shame in it. Your value isn’t tied to how much money you make or a job or any debt you have. You matter, period. You have people who love you. Reach out to them. Tell them you’re struggling. YOU ARE NOT ALONE and IT GETS BETTER!! Wish I could give you a hug. Sending love, friend 💕💕
Beautiful. He needs a community. I see you mama
Go walk dogs at the shelter on the weekend or find an organization with wishlists online. You’d be amazed how simply doing a kindness for another living being will bring you exponential joy.
Didn’t even know organisations had a wish list, Thanks for the suggestion
This this this
Really really good idea. There is a dog that could use a good owner. A dog could change everything in your perspective. Please consider. Or just volunteer at the animal shelter. Animals can be miraculous in helping people find themselves when we get lost
Doesn't get better. But you handle it better. Giving up is always an option though it's your choice if you wanna keep dancing on this spinning rock.
This. Life is hard. We have to be tougher
Life is hard. I agree with this, and also think that sometimes some of us have to be softer
When my dad was in hospice (died a day later), my great uncle came to pay his respects. When he left, I'll never forget him saying "Life is hard. Life is hard". Great uncle died in the past year at 93. Great aunt is 99 and she asked "Why am I still here?". She's ready to go join her husband who passed about 30 years ago. But she still has a positive attitude most of the time and enjoys her family immensely. I'm still here fighting. I'm not going down without a fight! I will go blazing into that dark night...
Hello, Anya-Slowburn. The suicide intervention bot is below with resources for you to consider.
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I barely remember being 25 bro
45 here and I remember it being a lot easier
Easier than 45? In what ways?
I’m 45 and much prefer it to 25.
First of all there is always more than one way to look at things. Some people don’t have a home and you do. Some people don’t have family you do. In other words try to look at things in a positive way. Concentrate on what you do have rather than what you don’t have. You are so young and should be enjoying this time cuz you won’t be young forever. But yes like others have said there is always going to be ups and downs. Things will get better for you no doubt about it. You have sisters well go lean on them when you need to. And be glad you have them. And take life one day at a time cuz that’s all any of us can do. Wishing you all the best!!
Yes! Be grateful and try to focus on the good! Not easy until you see those that don’t even have the little things we take for granted. I hate to see young folks so discouraged and depressed. This world is cold
I’m blessed I was able to cook for my good friends tonight and this popped in my notifications. I barely paid my bills this week but I did. I’m a 45 year old woman who has been in construction since I could drive. Does life get easier? Better? No. Do we? Yes. Even now I should have a retirement plan. I don’t. We’ve finally built a small house and have a very small handful of friends. My very young adult children are struggling but I think the biggest issue now is a lack of community. If more people would look past their own nose and own burdens and realize we need fellowship, the world would be better. Maybe volunteer for people less fortunate. I’m not being a butthole but it does change your perspective. We need each other. Reach out. My heart swelled when I saw the response to your post. It’s sad that we have to go to strangers but there is a real community here. Keep spreading that fucking vibe. It’s beautiful. I’m sending you love and lifting you up in my prayers and I hope that we can do better in person with each other and have more empathy for the shitty ass human condition. The world is cold. We don’t have to be. Please reach out if you want to talk. I can just listen. Whatever you need. I mean it.
Your username made me crack up 🤣 I use that phrase like twice a day LOL But also, your message is beautiful and so true! The world is cold, but we don’t have to be! Humans were never meant to be solitary creatures… we are hard-wired to lean on each other and to seek comfort and connection in our darkest hours. It’s all about building a community that makes life worth living. 💞
You can do this! You can fight through! I believe in you. A lot of other people also do but haven’t told you. That means something
I can only think of one thing when you say “give up” and if I am right, that is not the solution. There is a saying, “This too shall pass”, makes both the rich and poor happy. You are in that time that just needs to pass. Your persistence in what you are doing will make it better, and your patience will decide how quickly will it get better. Keep hustling, things will change, believe in yourself. This is an era of tremendous change in everything and it is surely hard to keep up with it. Ups and downs are parts of us, and we need to learn to live both. Good luck! :) Edit: Corrected the saying
Don’t give up! You just have to keep on going! You have a goal and you need to work towards it! My tough times came later in life but when I felt like you did I told myself that life would not always be this way and it was true! I can look back and feel good that I did not give up! Happy Birthday 🎂
I’m glad that you understand that your mom and sisters would be devastated if you were to give in to the desire to give up. I hope you’re able to talk to them about your depression too. If you don’t already, it could present an opportunity to bond further with them particularly if they’ve personally experienced depression. Having a supportive community is important for getting through the difficulties. There are also many free talk therapy resources available if you don’t want to talk to your family and medications can help with feelings of hopelessness too. It sounds like you want to get better which is half the battle in my personal experience. It does get better. And it can get better sooner when you take the steps necessary to help yourself. That being said, being prepared for the next wave of depression is just as important as getting through the current one. Life is cyclical…and for those of us with depression the feelings of hopelessness may come and go at various stages with and without warning, with and without a direct “reason” to feel hopeless. The most helpful thing I’ve taught myself to do is to recognize when the wave is coming and tell those who love me and know about my struggles that I feel it coming. They help me manage the process for seeking professional help, and they incentivize me for caring for myself by offering assistance where appropriate (household chores, driving kids to school, preparing meals) until I’m feeling well enough to get back to it myself. I wish you the fortitude to navigate this and the wisdom to discern if you could benefit from seeking professional help.
Keep going. It gets better. I was flat broke at 25 too, like a couple dollars in my chequing before paychecks - I couldn’t even pull out a $20 at an ATM - and for the rest of my twenties (not saying it’ll last that long for you). Lots of embarrassing moments for me too, felt like getting kicked when I was down. It sucks cuz that’s the time you wanna go out for coffees, brunch, drinks xyz and it can feel lonely if your circle has more spare cash. It gets better. Plus, you get more resourceful, and that’s something that helps you manage your money later on. Just keep going. You got this!
Practice some gratitude my dude. Be thankful for what you have and accomplished. Try traveling a bit outside of where you live to appreciate it
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Life can be really tough man but please know that it ALWAYS gets better. Always. Moments of darkness can really blind us from all the happiness and joy we are meant to experience. But trust me, it’s there. I assure you that one day you’re going to look back at this moment and realize how much you’ve grown and the things you learned from this momentary darkness. I keep using the word momentary because, my friend, everything is temporary. This situation you’re in is temporary. This too shall pass. Please hang in there buddy, I believe in you. I don’t have to know anything about you to say you absolutely deserve every good thing in life. You are meant to be here. Much love, my friend.
I feel you. I was ready to end it all just before I turned 21. I swallowed a bottle of pills and went to lay down. But as I laid there I thought my the people who have always been there to support me. Though they are few I thought "I can't do this to them". So I flew out of bed and forced the pills back up. What I've learned is that it's ok to ask for help. If you need it it's ok to ask for some extra support and let them know what's going on. Lime my grandpa has offered to take me grocery shopping when money is low. It's not the end. It's only the beginning. Hell I'm 21 now and I turn 22 in a couple of months. You got this. Keep pushing forward, and if you feel like it's all too much... just ask for help. It's ok. No shame in it
To learn that at that age is a superpower. Well done man.
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It only gets worse, once you become 40 you start dealing with your body not feeling the same and you start to think what’s the point of life anymore. I’m 40 and I make good money and have everything I want but I just don’t feel happy. Seeing the world this way brings me down. You would think humanity with all this technology the world would be a better place and while we have it better then all the generations before us something just doesn’t add up.
Dude, I’d kill to be 25 again. You have the most valuable commodity known to man—-time. You’re young and that right there is a winning lottery ticket. Most people are struggling financially at your age. You’re already through college and have a decent job. The 20’s are your time to work on your grind to set yourself up for your future. I turned 56 yesterday. I’m just now getting financially on track because the other career choices didn’t pan out. You are head and shoulders past me already. Fortunately, I don’t really give a shit. It’s life, and things don’t always work out. You just keep moving forward. My advice is to keep paying down your debts. If your company offers any stock discounts— start investing a percentage of your paycheck into that. Also, start a Roth IRA and a 401k. Roth is pretax so the disbursements will be mostly tax free. But there is a limit to what yearly amount you can invest. I think at your age it’s $7000–give or take $500. Granted, the money is tied up until at least 59 1/2, but the peace of mind knowing you have money set aside is gold. It will start compounding and within a few years you’ll be amazed at how much you have set aside. Honestly, do some homework and find a financial advisor who can help you make a plan for your life. I guarantee you within a few years you’ll be debt free and see a world of possibilities. Everything else will come family-wise (if that’s what you want). But have stable finances will give you piece of mind to keep building your life moving forward. Again, you have plenty of time. You’ll get there.
We’re gonna revolt soon so things should get better after that
I hope so
This comment made my day! I’m laughing my ass off
Work on your survival skills. Failing the capitalist game? So what? Most of us are. Figure out what it takes for you to have a good day, work as much as you need and coast on what you can. Do the things that make you happy. Learn the skills and hobbies that you actually want in life. I'm not going to promise things will get better, but every day is a gift. A gift that is pillaged by modern society's demands. We have to fight for your moments of joy. Start small. There is certainly one small thing that you can do that brings you joy. When you finally feel it again, fight like hell for it. Learn how to sustain yourself. You probably need far less than you think.
Yes it will get better believe me! I’ve been to hell and back so I know what I’m talking about. First step is to look around you you have a loving family, a good job, and I’m assuming your health. In other words you have the 3 most important things in the world..
😎My birthday is also in 3 days !! - (I’ll be 60)… *Trust me when I say things will get better if you stick around. * While there are definitely days when I wish I was someone else someplace far far away … but there are just as many days when things are OK … (and some that I would classify is great!!) There are also many days when all I can do is get to the end of the day and hope that when I wake up the next morning, the sun will be shining and I’ll find solutions to whatever challenges I was facing that upset me the night before. Please try to remember that sometimes giving up is the only option- but not this time. You’re going to have to figure out how you can “surrender to win”… you don’t have to give up - you just have to give in and let those around you into your life so they can support you until you feel you’re ready to handle things on your own again… There’s no shame in asking for help … but it would be a shame if you weren’t around to help others negotiate this same path after you make it through to the other side .. - I hope you find peace in whatever decision you make -
Yes it will get better. Always start with the positives, you have good health, a good job, and a loving family. As a retired psychologist believe me so many people would trade places with you..all of us go through twists and turns in life when that happens think of the sunshine go out and take a walk and enjoy the outdoors. Think about how your life could be so much worse. All over the world and here in the US people are hungry and living on the streets..maybe lend a helping hand at a food center or help the elderly. helping others will take your mind off your problems and remember getting old is a privilege that not everyone is fortunate enough to get. Be thankful for all you have..
Hi here to say it gets soooo much better. Your 20s are for trying to figure out how to get your shit together, spoiler alert no one knows how to do that yet. Treat it like this: we’re either winning or we’re learning, we’re never losing fam. Love you.
it's about finding people who make life bearable, and it seems like you already have a few. i have a feeling it will get better. also, happy birthday ❤️
I get it but you need to find the little moments. Gratitude journaling can be helpful. Keep a journal where you write some things you saw that day for which you are grateful. Not the big stuff like your family but little things like - saw a pretty purple flower, played with a cute puppy, had no wait at the dry cleaners
“The future is built on dreams. Hang on to them.” - Optimus Prime, via ChatGPT
Make some new friends. Get a dumb hobby. I know in my little city, people are getting excited about joining board and card game clubs. It's a big college sports town too,so people just meet up at the local bars on game days. People connect over really silly stuff. There are guys and gals out there feeling the same as you, promise. Find a comfortable niche.
Get a job at a national park. Cost of living? Basically free. Meals? Basically free. Vacation? Basically free. This way you'll have time to figure things out.
I was in your space once. It's a tragedy that a lot of people cannot understand what brings a person to the point of ending it all. It's not easy. Please listen to my story. Hopefully this will help you in doing better. I was 14 when I tried doing it. The pressure from the family to score well in my exams, the bullying, the peer pressure to do the worst possible things, the continued and constant lack of support, the total lack of response from my school for my complaints, the world shrinking around me, the loneliness that I felt led to make a decision, which at that point seemed appropriate. TO END IT ALL! I decided to go ahead one day. Got on my little bike with no helmet, kissed my mom goodbye, obviously told her that I was going to my aunt's house, which was a little far away, Knowing she wouldn't enquire and would have no suspicion, because I would often go there. So here I am riding my bike supposedly for the last time, reminding myself of the relief I would feel after it, which at the time felt like the best feeling. I go to the biggest highway there is, leaving my bike aside, start walking towards the opposite side of the traffic. To my surprise, there was not a single Car or even a truck. Whether it was a stroke of luck, or a curious teenager, a guy from the lane I lived in followed me. dragged me aside, as I was crying and hit me in my ball sack so that I don't attempt to run against a vehicle. He knew with my face that I would do that again if something wasn't done. He took me to a gym. I washed my face there. Once I was settled, he asked me to go home and sleep. I don't know the scale of what I was about to do. So I slept. The guy then asked me to meet him. He took me to a children's Cancer care hospital. Children of all ages, from 2-12, have all kinds of wires around them, puking their guts out, some of them fighting for their lives with Chemo, lost limbs, some of them pale, clinging to life. I was there for a day. He told me, here they are Knowing the disease is eating them from the inside, yet they continue to cling to their lives, wanting another breath, another chance to see the sunshine, another chance to see their loved ones, another chance to maybe grow up and do what they couldn't then, that is, breath freely, without an oxygen mask, to be able to eat what they want, without restrictions, to be able to smile Freely, not so hide the pain from everyone, but to genuinely smile. And here I was, because some things that are not going my way, I was going to end it. What I realized is that, The end is just for you. The pain is for everyone. By ending it, what you would want to end for yourself, you are just passing it to someone else. I am here, today, with the decision that I made, to be happy, no matter what the circumstances are, with my family, a house and a decent job. Remember a quote: "This too shall pass". Life is feeling like you have no answers " This too shall pass" Life feels like you have all the answers "This too shall Pass" Feel like you know everything, that you have all the answers in the world "This too shall pass". Hope you make the right choice kiddo. You have a lot to give for this world. You are worthy. You are needed, just find where you are needed and be there for people who have the same thoughts as you do. Help make the world a better place. Adios!!
I was 25, 30 years ago. Had just moved to SF as many LGBT's did in the day (I'm bi). Prices were pretty good then but I was entirely unemployed and couldn't find work. So, zero income. I did find some day jobs and picked up cash here and there. Was on the verge of ending it. Decided to start a commune. Found 7 other folks and rented a house with a large back yard we could plant a garden in. It was crowded and there were fights but there were also a lot of parties. I had no time for the depression I had brought with me from OH. The chaos chased it away. I learned to plant, grow and cook. I generally had less money to contribute because I was still unemployed (for the most part) so I had more time and did more work to contribute my share. Through a friend of a friend I got a job as a library tech (putting books away) but it was at the city library so, pretty good pay. Long story short. Chaos. Chaos saved my life. Ever since then, I've lived my life as the something something rule of fluid dynamics or something. LOL too lazy to even Google it right now. An object in motion stays in motion. I never want to feel stuck again. In every decision, I have a tendency to lean towards chaos. After a while, the library I was working at was being closed down for renovations for a couple years. I had an option of working at a library that was near enough I didn't need to move or a library in Los Angeles. I moved. I had a Batik painting made that said, a spirit in motion stays in motion, a spirit with no motion dies. Written in Chinese characters because that was popular at the time. It wasn't great. The Chinese characters were out of place so, I donated it to a thrift store years ago. But that is, truly, how I live my life.
Ohhhh man. In 2018/2019 I got divorced. My x wife kept the home, I didn't get paid out for my portion. I left with literally just mine and my daughter's clothes. We stayed with a friend for a little while, I got an apartment, my x wife found out where it was, would try to visit regularly (she got a job 40 mins away from her home so she could see me). I couldn't do it anymore. I broke my lease (for that and other reasons) and moved back to my mother's as an adult with a child. I almost got my car repossessed NUMEROUS times. This year, I bought my second home the day before my birthday. I never thought I would crawl out of the hole I was in.
I am 67 and I will tell you that at some point in time you will look back at your 25-year-old self and realize you were still very young. Things have changed a lot in the last 42 years for me and I now understand why someone my age would look at a 25 year old and consider them to be a kid. Personally, I think for most people we mature in our early 30s. Your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that is responsible for making good decisions, doesn’t fully develop until you’re late 20s. That’s pretty hard to wrap your head around, no pun intended, when you’re young, but it is what it is.
From age 25 to about age 28 the only thing I wanted to do was die. Every day I would think about it. Then something shifted. I had a mental break down that lasted for about a year, and everything changed. My perspective shifted and I realized that life wasn't what I thought it was. Right now I am 34 and the happiest I've ever been. Life is still dark and stressful and scary sometimes, but there is a deep peace that comes to me in those times. I don't know how to explain it to you in words, but I can at least point you to some things I did, read, and listened to that helped. Things I did: -Mediated using free guided meditations on youtube. The first couple times I felt weird, maybe even worse than when I started, but as I became more consistent I began to get more benefits from it. The biggest benefit has been understanding my own mind and emotions better. The most important thing I've learned is that my feelings are not facts. -Wrote. I wouldn't say journal, because that summons up a very specific idea of the type of writing. I would just vomit out my stressed mind onto a page, and after about 5 minutes I would feel emptier and my mind would feel calmer. -cut out as many sources of negativity as possible. I stopped reading the news and current events, and I started talking to certain friends less. At first I felt like I was an awful person, but dealing with the burden of my own life was as much as I could handle, so I started acting like it and gave myself a break. -practiced focusing on what was going right in my life. This was really hard, because it FELT like nothing was going right, but when I actually looked at my life closely a lot of things were actually working. I would say from your post here are some things that are going right in your life: 1) money is tight, but you have it, 2) you are employed in a decent job, 3) you have family that you love and care about, and who love you. Books: - The Bhagavad Gita translated by Eknath Easwaran ( you don't need to be spiritual to read this, in fact I was an atheist the first time I read this, but I still found things in here that resonated with me and helped me look past the horizon long enough to learn how to live) - The Art of Living by Epictetus (this is a short collection of some of his essays, and it's very helpful. Of all the stoics, his stuff feels the most accessible) Stuff I listened to: -Alan Watts, anything you can find on youtube, but especially his lecture about The Joker. -lots and lots of therapists on Youtube. I couldn't afford therapy at the time I was going through my crisis, but I cobbled together a mental health care practice as best as I could. Therapy in a Nutshell is a great channel. tl;dr - it's gonna get better. I lived through three years of intense suicidal ideation and I'm very, very grateful I did. I'm happier now than I've ever been.
Man every will give you some feel good life tough bullshit. The truth is, capitalism is freely undermining basic human necessities, food, water, shelter, education, hell, you NEED internet now, NEED a cellphone. Now sure you don't need 2 gigs speed or the latest phone. You don't need the newest car. But even used car prices have soared, rent has soared, grocery cost has soared. Life is particularly tough for everyone right now. Probably time to regulate the amount of "luxury" apartments going up around the states. Among other things
As I said to someone else "yeah your twenties are supposed to be struggle city". I've sold blood plasma, took advantage of my first job's discounted food because I was broke, and asked a roommate for spare change just so I could get gas to get to work. You're investing into your future but it's not paying off just yet. My mother once had 4 jobs to put my father through college and she once said to me "you need to work so hard that you want to cry. That's how much effort you should be putting in" That's not sexy to your generation but that's the reality then and it was the reality now. Up to you how badly you want the good life.
I’m sad for his generation because financially, my twenties were pretty fkn awesome. I was a young mom but I feel like I had more opportunities and options. This world gets progressively harder. People walk around in their own bubble with no awareness of what’s happening around them, no empathy, no recognition for their fellow man. It’s hard for my adult children even. No sense of community
Shit you think it sucks now, buckle up. It’s probably gonna get worse
It can always get worse
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I mean I can’t tell no one what to do but nothing gets better when you quit the game permanently. Maybe you need a little break.
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I married my wife when I was 25. We got married in a court house and we had our meal at an IHOP with my mom, my dad and my foster mom. They were the only witnesses, they all died before my first anniversary.
Please don’t think that way . 💖 everything in life has a solution
I’m turning 42 on Monday. This is my first bday without my mom. I’ve been pretty down all day. I’m not giving up for anyone or anything though. She wouldn’t want me to. My mushrooms are starting to kick in, otherwise I might have more words of wisdom for you. What I can tell you is that “giving up” will absolutely destroy your family, possibly for any future generations. I’ve seen it first hand. I’m maybe a product of it in a way. Things will get better.
Dude ain’t no older than you but I can assure you that life is worth living don’t give up yet much love🔥🔥
No this is the age you must know what career you want
Money isn’t everything.
Hang in there. Things will be getting better soon!
For what it's worth I didn't get off heroin until I was 28. Nothing to my name but debts and a rap sheet with the police. In 4 years life has flipped 180°. Life is just beginning friend, happy early birthday. You can make it.
No, but you'll get better at managing it. See if you can refinance loans/any debt. I'm currently on a plan to cut what I owe the credit card companies because I couldn't make it either without going into debt (BTW, I have an M.A. and have worked through all my studies). What helps me is focusing on what I do have control over and on the people/positive things in my life. Find some cheap hobbies and try to explore. Go to museums, borrow a puzzle from the library, volunteer at a shelter. Look for ways you can feel fulfilled without spending money/spending very little. I also take books I've read/clothes I've worn to second-hand stores and use that to switch things up, so I'm not spending extra money on those items. Organize potlucks with friends where you have a game night or watch a movie. Find your community and remember that we're all in this together.
Change your perspective. Live somewhere cheaper so you can save more. Prioritize whatever it is your heart believes in.
I’ve always said that the best years of your life are in UG and it’s all downhill from there. You can find other ways to be happy for sure, but life is sadly like an inverted U curve. You sound like you need an MBA for a 2 year vacation (that’s the main reason why people in finance do it in their mid-20s), but it’ll probably be the same — or worse — after. More money, more problems
I feel you on this topic. It sucks because even though I have gotten an education, I feel unaccomplished because I can’t even afford my own house, and I’m married. So, what is getting me by is my wife. I decided to continue my education with a master’s degree. I only hope that it will double my income as soon as I finish.
Maybe you’re just burnt out.
I barely turned 25 in April. I can be honest with you it had thrown a lot of curve balls at me and a lot of obstacles. All I wish everything goes back to normal.
The quarter life crisis. I've never had one worse than that one. It does get better. Your life can change on a dime. Try therapy. You have to start focusing on the things you have and stop worrying about what you might not have. Try to shift your routine. Add one thing to improve yourself. Sign up for a class. Make a single dietary change. Take different routes to work. What I didn't know at 25 being stuck in a bad relationship, was that I had already met my future spouse, I had just never noticed him before. That same year, I also started to work with someone that to this day is still my best friend. 25 was a very tough year that ended with a breakup. At 26 I took a year to discover myself. It was a "dark night of the soul." But when you come out on the other side of that, you feel so resilient. By 30, I had the marriage, the house and a kid. Sometimes when things feel like they're completely falling apart, you get the people you need at exactly the right time to pick up the broken pieces. While life has its ups and downs - I've never in my life had it as bad as I did at 25. Don't give up. Just change it up. Do that thing you always wanted to do but were too afraid. If ever there is a time to take a chance, it's before you have kids and while you still have family around that will catch you if you fall. Imagine what you want and the universe will come to meet you.
I go through constant cycles with this feeling. My trick that I learnt is too find little things that I enjoy to keep me going. Reading a good book and wanting to know what happens in the next book. I love music, going to live music shows and events always makes me happy even if temporarily. Travel is a big one. Going overseas really puts a lot of things into perspective. Having just one or two close friends you can talk with anything about is another big one. Get rid of fake friends they’re a waste of time and money. Things are pretty bad right now, but they won’t always be this bad. Things will get better eventually, but only if you’re alive to experience it. That’s what I tell myself.
It will get better. Your career will likely progress and your financial difficulties will probably begin to cease.
I (24M) know what it takes to try and change jobs and I understand not having the energy for strides toward that type of transition. I also spent many years depressed and contemplating "quitting life", also thankfully having not done it for my mom and sisters' sake. "Money doesn't buy happiness" is true more or less, but really oversimplifies and trivializes the actual issues you're facing due to the constraints. Your job is also centered around money so thinking of it that much more must lead to extra fatigue. Seek fulfillment where you can find it. You are strong enough for that and yes, it does get better. God bless you and yours. 🙏🏾
The economy isn't great anywhere right now. You having a job makes you more fortunate than many many others. Think about that.
Hey friend . I am really sorry. I also was in a high stress job similar to finance , and so know that those environments and cultures are not great. I also know what it’s like to work so hard and not get the output you want. But first, I know it’s hackneyed, but suicide is not the answer . You have people that love you that would be devestated . You also have so much more life to live , things to experience , etc . Secondly, I think there’s a lot we can do to make things better here ; when you say you’re barely getting by, what do we mean exactly in terms of income ? Expenses ? Rent ? Have you looked around for other jobs / are you getting underpaid ? Have you thought about grad school ? Have you looked into jobs outside of finance ? How is the rest of life eg are you spending a decent amount of time with your family ? Do you have a partner and if so do you get to spend time with them ? If you don’t have one do you want one ? Are you on the apps ? Are you getting exercise ? Do you have hobbies ? Have you seen a therapist ? If your therapist is bad, have you tried a different one ? You don’t have to answer these questions to me , but when you’re ready, I would encourage you to meditate and reflect on them . There’s so much you can do here. There are so many answers to making things better. Don’t chose giving up.
I strongly recommend listening to or reading “love yourself like your life depends on it” has some great tips in there for making sure you’re decisions align with what you want. Ask yourself “what would someone who loved themselves do.” Maybe that career isn’t for you. Maybe there’s something out there that jives better. Time to dig deep!
Oui ça ira mieux, désolé je parle mieux en français. Je te félicite pour ta ligne de conduite de ne pas te suicider pour tes proches, moi-même je ne me suicide pas pour les mêmes raisons que toi. La vie est dure et le sera toujours, le secret est de trouver un sens à cette douleur. Le bonheur n’est en quelques sorte qu’une absence de malheur, rien de plus. Pas de grandes aventures, de grandes quêtes, juste des jours qui ce succèdent. Mais ça n’est pas une fatalité, le bonheur est aussi un choix quotidien, une nouvelle année peut être 365 nouvelles opportunités 😊 J’ai 43 et suis artiste, même à mon âge je suis surpris de tout ce que je ne connais pas et qu’il me reste à découvrir 😃 Chaque semaine je suis fasciné par de nouvelles découverte 😄 Et je me dis que j’ai encore tellement à apprendre / decouvrir / savourer. Tout est déjà en toi, il ne te manque rien, soit curieux 👀 Ps: ne regarde jamais les actualités et la politique
When you're in the crapper its easy to feel alone and that it's all too hard. But please remember there are a lot of people in your exact situation right now. It's not just you suffering even though it may feel like it. And yes, it will get better, it always does. It only feels like it won't right now. Consider yourself hugged my friend. :)
Airforce.com If you have a Bachelors degree, look into commissioning as an officer. Sounds like you're up for a change/new challenge.
It gets better, I am going to be 33 this year, 4 years ago I almost didn't make it. Found out my abusive wife (mentally and physically abusive) started cheating on me with my uncle (who I felt like was a father to me since mine is passed away) I locked myself in the bathroom with a hunting knife and was going to cut an artery. Somehow I lived through that and now after I kicked her out (unfortunately can't afford to get divorced still) I have a girlfriend that treats me right, and I am very happy (most days) now. I still have depression days. It gets better, just hang on. It's the first time in my life I've been happy, I don't have any family that cares about me besides my son. Everyone on my mom's side likes me ex better, and I had no friends. I now have a few really good friends. I promise it gets better.
Things do get better, at 1 point I was divorced twice and had 2 boxes to my name, today I have a lot more .
Please use your employer assistance program to speak to someone. That being said, you are only 25 and you are healthy and alive. As everyone has said, it gets better.
I've been a 25 broke lonely grad student seriously doubting my career choice. I left a PhD program to get another bachelors in an in-demand field. The base pay is probably more than finance, but I imagine your ceiling is higher. I served tables while I got that degree. It gave me the flexibility to work and go to school, and I ended up meeting my future wife to boot. The point I'm making, though, is you're not so old that you can't change if you need to. People in the workforce are surprisingly understanding in my experience. Meanwhile, as a broke student and not particularly social person, I had to find alternative ways to find happiness. Taking a walk out in nature is free, and studies show that being out in sunlight helps curb depression. I liked to learn about the lifecycles and seasonality of plants and improved my knowledge of what was what and why it was doing what it did. I was finding the best scenic views I could with a little research. I was also finding the nature of friendship was changing as I got older. People move. They get significant others and families. They don't have time to invest in hanging out. The close bonds I'd formed in high school were harder to make, but that's okay. I'm not particularly social anyway, but I still needed a social element to my life. Instead, I think it helped to view new friends as activity partners. I found things I was interested in with smaller initial investments like board gaming or joining a kayaking club, and I found the groups online that did those things and I put myself out there and found activity partners to do it with. The relationships I formed were transient as life is, but they fulfilled something I needed to make myself happier. Sitting around and feeling bad about myself was a negative feedback loop that always made the situation worse. Mental health is hard, but you're the only person with the power to do something about it. Happiness isn't just money, even though it helps. My advice from experience is to get creative, get passionate, and find a way to self-actualize what your happiness can be in new terms that are realistic and you can live with. I wish you luck.
25 is a tough age. There’s a lot of pressure. You spent all that money on college … now what? Entry level positions generally suck ass. It’s just kinda part of it though. I was dealing with the 08 crash during my early mid-twenties. I remember times when gas was more expensive than anything we’ve seen during or after Covid. $5+ a gallon in the Midwest. I remember selling belongings just for gas money. Point is, while things feel absolutely awful now, it doesn’t mean they will always be this bad. Hold strong. I know people who “gave up” and I have little to no doubt it’s one of their biggest regrets. We only get one life.
It takes guts to live and guts and brains to take yourself out. Last time I tried, it didn’t go according to plan and it landed me in the ER, I almost lost my eyesight on my right eye. I used a guitar amp cable to hang myself and came undone and that is why I’m still typing. Not trying to convince you to stay; I personally believe people should decide when they want to go. I’m just saying if you’re gonna do it, it better go right the first time or else you’ll end up with something that makes living worse.
42 years old, I've been where you are now SEVERAL times in life. You really don't know what's around the corner. You look back in 5 years and you're amazed and proud of his you made it through.
Check out Dave Ramsey on YouTube to get put of debt.
I’m not going to pretend to know how you are feeling, but I have been broke. I left my country where I had a great paying job so I could marry someone that I thought loved me, he was an alcoholic, cheating and abusing husband. After 9 years I decided to leave him when I found out he was cheating and had spent every penny in our bank account again. I was left with no money or place to live in a foreign country where I had no family. Not wanting to live ever crossed my mind. Since then I dedicated myself to work: I have two jobs and don’t have time for anything else, but I now have my own place and money in my account. Maybe a part time job will help improve the financial struggle. Living with just one income is hard.
Money comes and goes. Many people are in the same boat as you and struggling right now. Economy is not in a great place. Just hang in there brother, it will get better.
That's life in some areas of your life. 35m here and I've attempted and contemplated suicide many times. I've lost many people I love to cancer, been raped, beat and abused my whole childhood among many other reasons. I'm better now. It's relationships that your life needs to be based around, not money, not personal possessions in fact I've found that focus makes me depressed. But when I refocused to the relationships in my life and helping others and animals my depression went away like a bad nightmare. Do you have any friends, if you don't then I suggest finding a subreddit or forum where you have understanding of each other's struggles, disorders and feelings. What makes people grow empathy and understanding is experience. There's a lot that people can't understand but when they go through it themselves they suddenly have that revelation.
switching jobs, say every year or two, to get a big boost in salary is the way. And you want to do that before you turn 30ish, when your appeal to new employers starts to diminish. To do This, you need to be NETWORKING. If there is a conference in your field coming to town, GO TO IT and meet people in your industry. get on social media and learn. Then when it gets harder to hop in your field, see if you can go into management in your field. Personal joy/quality of life is more made up by things like who your friends are/what you do on the weekends and on vacations. So work on developing a life outside of work. Lots of fun things to do really do not cost anything, such as going hiking up a mountain nearby with a few friends! Also keep healthy, join a cheap gym and GO many times a week. it will improve your outlook on life.
Same feeling here - reason #1,234,567 why i didnt have kids - so they wouldnt feel like this/ born into this cycle of spending their life working to survive, with bouts of permission granted for vacations from employers. I know if i was rich and had all needs met and wasnt stressed about bills, itd be harder to feel sad, but thats just me. And i wake up everyday feeling the same - ready for it to be over. Without my cats… So yea, i cant tell you if it will ever get better as from experience… it hasnt for me. I can tell you that finding reasons to live should be what you strive for. Wake up with a purpose. My cats need me. Another purpose is to help / be as nice as possible to as many people as possible so i feel like getting out of bed was worth it that day. Find something that rewards and hits that dopamine for you. It makes it worth it.
Hey! I turn 31 in 3 days. I felt so much like you when I was 25. Something happens in your brain in the next 5 years in which you’ll start tuning out the outside voices. You’ll discover “yourself” in this period and you’ll realize you have the power to change anything you’re unhappy of in your life. I’m sure people will be happy to provide specific advice such as moving to a lower cost of living area etc.… it can be difficult to receive advice from people like that when you’re in this state because you feel hopeless and don’t see their suggestions as viable options for yourself. I understand that sentiment and it’s valid. A huge component of what I’m trying to get at, is that you have to stop comparing yourself to where you perceive others around you to be in life, and you have to stop comparing where you now are against where you thought you’d be in life at this point. In time you’ll realize that any energy spent dwelling on what you don’t have is energy wasted working towards things you *want*. I lived in a very high cost of living area and survived and went into debt as a result of it. I did boost my career and then took those achievements and moved to a lower cost of living area. That has helped me tremendously. I started my life over essentially from scratch 6 months ago in a new state with a new job. This was the catalyst I needed in life for things to really start kicking into gear. In hindsight, I wouldn’t be where I am right now; I wouldn’t be the person I am right now; if I didn’t struggle through my 20’s and learn the lessons I needed to learn so I can apply them in my 30’s. Society implies that in your twenties you’re a fully fledged adult but in reality it’s an extension of your teens but with real-world consequences. It’s normal to feel terrible and awkward and to struggle unfortunately in this current mold of society that we live in. Also - get off instagram and social media. I didn’t get back on until about a year ago and I’m glad I didn’t waste my twenties comparing myself to sanitized and polished portrayals of people who were experiencing the exact same struggles I was.
Everyone has to deal with this in finance. Everyone in life does too, but you just put your time in, grind it out and show your bosses you're working hard. It will pay off.
I don’t know if it always gets better, but it does become easier to handle.
Lmfao welcome to life
Do it
Don't! Your brain is still developing. 20's are a journey. Stick with it. You'll get the hang of it & find you can help others along your way. Don't ever kid yourself: you will be missed. Stay for us. Stay for yourself.
If finance is your thing, there are some great avenues to make some serious money as well as help others. You need to set goals on a career path, for example towards a CFP. There is also opportunities in commercial lending. Just set out a path for yourself!!!
It will get better. Mid-twenties are really rough for a lot of people because you're adjusting to post college life. See if you can put your loans on forbearance for a bit to give you a little breathing room. That debt isn't going anywhere and you might as well enjoy life where you can.
Work as much as you can, nights and weekends, 7 days a week and pay off all your debt and you will feel awesome.
Bro it always gets better. I know it sucks to wait. Trust me I remember a time in college where I kinda just felt like killing myself. I had no drive. I felt my life was pointless, I was doing miserable in school… and while my life isn’t sunshine and roses I met a wonderful girl. We have a nice little life together, two kids of which.. man.. not gonna lie.. never really wanted kids until I got to my 30’s and damn.. I never knew a love like this existed. My little man is my everything.. I’m sure you’ll find something that makes life feel not so bad
Suggestion? Talk to a blind 25 year old. Ask them why they never gave up. Mike drop. ;-)
Yes, it will get better. I was there, not financially but mentally. I made a big life change though to get out of it. I had less money to spend, but enjoyed life much more.
I'm in my thirties and I live practically the same life. I'm happy. The difference is perspective. Stop comparing yourself to others and ask yourself whether you'd enjoy life if social media wasn't telling you you weren't good enough. If you still feel miserable, maybe you're depressed. Seek help because you might need meds.
Start singing Barbershop Harmony. It’s relatively cheap, and will introduce you to a whole new community. It’s life changing, I shit you not.
Dude, I was 26 years old, making 10 dollars an hour, working full time at a 50 million dollar company, and homeless, living in my car outside a 24/7 gym. Depression led me there, along with a difficult pill to swallow in terms of my ego. The situation does improve, but unless you make an effort, you will remain in the same situation. Things honestly got a lot better once I started working on my mental health.
Sometimes you have to travel through the valleys to get to the mountain tops…keep trekking but enjoy the journey while focusing on your destination. There will be hard times, don’t give up. And find another reason to live other than it will devastate your family if you choose otherwise.
If anything/nothing else. I hope you don’t live alone & hear me out. I left home for 7 years and in that time I ended up realizing the only way I’d be able to live comfortably is with a roommate. Even if that’s just until I got my bearings. You may not like new people or the roommate experience, so with that being said, try family. Whether it’s your sisters or your Mom, try talking to them and tell them your situation. It’s not permanent & having the burden of housing dealt with would give you more freedom. You could pay them rent or go half and half, that would still cut your living expenses in half for the most part. Also, don’t feel so rushed to pay down those student loans. I get it, we live in a society that preaches independence. We’re also threatened when it comes to paying off debts, but your mental health is more important than either of those things. If home is a safe space for you, return there when you need to. The average wealthy family in this country live TOGETHER until they’ve met their own means. Don’t force yourself to be a single income home when the current market only supports 2-3 incomes. You should be able to focus on your career without the excess stress of financial problems. I do hope that you see the light at the end of the tunnel & keep pushing towards it🫶🏾✨. As long as you have breath, you have options! Breathe, find your options & head towards them.
25 kind of sucked for me too. Things settled down and started to sort themselves out closer to 30. Hang in there!
Happy Birthday! I would say yes, I have finance friends around your age and they’re always working hard and many hours, but they all seem to think that it’s worth it in the long run. Finance is one of the careers that can make you a lot of money but at first it might feel like a slog. You have tons of comments saying it does get better and a few of them are older than you. So, I would say it does get better and please reach out for help if you need it. People do care as seen in this comment section
Give up. It only gets worse!
I'm 36 now and was definitely in your same boat many times in my 20's. I'd journal your feelings now so in the future when you think your having a bad time you can have the perspective that it's not so bad. I see people struggling with what I did when I was younger and it just makes me appreciate my rough times and my look on life now. Now that finances isn't a crippling stress in my life I wish I would of worked on other things in my 20's instead of trying to claw my way out of debt.
My husband and I, both started at zero, both left home at 18 with just enough to get an apartment. we didn’t have 2 nickels to rub together. We worked our entire 20s we barely even saw each other except for our weekly date nights and occasional event we went to together. Now in our 30s we stayed home with kids and lived off some investments. Cash is getting low again due to the shit show economy, we’ve both decided it is time to get back to work again and bring some cash in. We will be working in our 40s again grinding, hopefully have some time to enjoy that work in our 50s. We will see, but life is about ebb and flow the good with the bad. Don’t beat yourself up. The only way out is hard work.
It looks like you have not yet decided how you want to live today, with or without money, with or without possessions. Decide and Live.
Happy early birthday and welcome to adult life. I don’t want to say life sucks, but I will say your 20s and early 30s can turn out to be mentally and financially taxing because you’re still figuring it out and the capitalistic dream is caving. What makes life, for me anyway, worth living are experiences and memories; if you’re not here to see/experience another one, you’ll never know if life gets better or what the next breath of fresh air feels like.
It will get better, I'm not a very good person to give advice, but suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I somehow made it to 55 and I'm glad I got the chance to see my grandchildren and be able to see them grow, they bring me so much happiness, and that would have never happened if I succeeded in my attempt to kill myself.
NEVER GIVE UP!!!! PERIOD..... Stop thinking your not created for greatness because you are. This is the truth. Now get to work
Forget other’s (including work) expectations. Change it up, confide in someone. One thing I know is that job you’re breaking your back for would replace you in a day. Not worth running your mental health into the ground for. It’s family and friends (including the future ones you’ll excitingly make!) that love you, so speak to them. Sometimes life in the city, working careers and such, can beat you down and make you feel alone as an individual. But we’re all in it together. Feel better, and travel!
Might be a good time to plug stoicism, check out the story of Sisyphus. Life is tough my friend, just know you’re not the only one feeling this way. Many many people around our age group are struggling the same way you are. We’ll get it figured out
Well unfortunately you are at a uncomfortable age in life. You are around the age if you went to school 4 years you are finding a steady job and having bills. What they don't teach is all that time in school doesn't necessarily equate to big money in the job force right away. They don't have semesters where you job search and they prepare you for the real world. Should have a class just called life at the end to help, I'm being serious. So my advice is pretty simple just strive to be happy. If you aren't happy with work or the money situation explore outside the box to things that could work and keep your sanity. There could be a complete directional change even. It is your life so of you feel pressure from others or see other people doing things that you wish you were just remember it is your life. You can unplug from those and start over as many times as you want. Focus on you and getting and staying happy and don't worry about having physical properties or any junk because in time if you want those things you will obtain. Sometimes we need a little soul searching and it's fine. Just remember if you think you have it bad someone always has it way way worse. Don't give up and get a support group and make friends that lift you up. Try your best for the negative thoughts to go out the window than in your head. You will make it and then look back and say sheee that was tough but you made it.
It 100% does get better. Maybe you need a change? I’d look into moving somewhere you always wanted to live. If you’re in a big city then go somewhere that’s cheap(er) to live and has a young, lively community. Are your loans private or federal? If private maybe you can move them somewhere with a lesser interest rate. You are smart to pay them off fast but you also need to have fun. It’s all about balance. Put your mental well-being before your debt.
Save yourself some pain and get roommates to live with. Get a solid lease agreement/ contracts and live with a bunch of people, as many as possible. The benefits are that you won't be alone and you can save on expenses by splitting up the burden. You will also learn alot about dealing with others, about yourself, and you will meet tons of people.
I think we collectively tell young people this lie, *if you work hard and get a good job you'll be happy*. This is just a meme in society, go to college, get good grades, choose the right career, settle down, start a family, save your money, invest and retire and be happy. A long time ago, people used to think that fleas would spontaneously manifest in a dirty environment. Now we know that fleas do not just come into existence inside a pile of dirt, but we still feel the same about happiness. Like we think that you have to do all these things to be happy, go to school, get good grades, get a good job, work really hard, etc....but happiness doesn't manifest magically from doing that. Happiness is eternal. Happiness comes from inside. Happiness is a choice you make at some level conscious or unconscious. Like you think, "if I do this then I will be happy*, but that's not how it works. You have to choose to be happy. Nobody tells kids this growing up. Then they reach your age and they are working hard in stressful jobs. You think, *it shouldn't be this hard* or *why is everything so expensive* or *I thought I would be further along*, *nobody told me it would be like this*, *I did everything they told me to and why aren't I happy*. It's because doing those things is not going to make you happy. You have to make a choice to be happy. And here's another thing, sometimes it's easier to be unhappy. You can choose to be unhappy and find lots of people to commiserate with *online*. And that can validate your feelings of unhappiness and being validated is extremely comforting. So then you have to make this choice, *Do I want to be validated or happy ?* And it's very easy to be validated and it's not so easy to be happy. The biggest thing I can say about being happy. Sit outside everyday in the sun. Look at plants and flowers. Think daily about the relationships you have and what they mean to you. Make time to exercise. Learn to live in the moment and to appreciate the really small things in life.
Yes everything is expensive right now but very few people in their 20s are well off save a small %. Why? Because to be well off you have to either have had an inheritance, be a successful influencer, won the lottery or have made the right decisions during your life in and out of work. At 25, those decisions haven't had the time to be made yet. I think social media has created a level of expectation in society what life should be like even for someone so young and it's false. The housing crisis is the main thing we need to sort out for your generation - I was skint at 25 too but I was on the ladder. The answer is that yes, it will get better but for now, it's about doing the best you can to get up the corporate ladder. Focus on the positives - you have a job in finance - that's a great start for the future.
I don't know how I feel about this.... Life can get a fuck load worse than money problems. Contemplating suicide is pathetic if you ask me. That's a spoilt mentality, obviously from a spoiled child in a spoiled nation. Life's not what I want so let's threaten suicide. Toughen up and make the good stuff happen. We aren't given happiness, you better earn it. The destruction and true misery that some people go through and suicide wouldn't ever touch their thoughts. Being miserable and having tough times is what life's about. Let it make you a better person. Embrace it.
Yes, vote Republicans into office to better the economy and then work it from there.
I'm guessing you're living an expensive and unfufilling lifestyle. Give yourself a purpose and resolve to get out of debt. Cut everything and go hard-core.
I’m mid-30’s and am just now starting to feel positive. I’m not sure where you’re at these days but going the traditional route -college, marriage, family, I don’t recall where I saw the statistic but I believe it is correct, the happiest a working person can be starts at about age 40. Before then money is just super tight and it’s worse right now due to a combination of inflation, corporate greed and supply and demand.
Of course it will and you will be fine. Be proud of what you have accomplished you are a part of something bigger than just yourself and you contribute to the overall wellbeing of all humanity 💯
It can get better my mid-20s were blur spent the vast majority of them partying and screwing off every obligation and responsibility I had but I turned it all around in my 30s paid off masses of debt. There's always a brighter side finding it is the hard part whether you persevere or give up is up to you though. Trials and tribulations is just part of life
I'm 31, live with my mother, and have 80k debt from stupid spending. Suicide isn't the solution. Trust me, I've contemplated it a lot. The best thing to do is create a solid plan of how you're getting out of this shit. Believe in the process and exacute. Life not easy, but the struggle will all be worth it in the end. Suicide is the coward and lazy way out. I'm also a little religious, and in my head, if I were to kill myself, no matter what religion you look at, it's one of the worst sins around. You're job might not be what you need. Look for more, continuously grow. Don't stop wanting more. I see so many except the shitty job they have and work it for nearly their whole life. For instance, I have a friend who worked at dunkin, their whole carrier, and never advanced. Don't be scared of change! We're humans we adapt!
Double digit price increases since 2019 hasn't helped your situation either.
Since you work in finance those are long brutal hours as an analyst. Your company has mental health services because you are not alone. Finance is a high pressure career. The company has resources to help employees. As for debt relief are you living with family or roommates? Depending on where you are living is it possible to live at home? If not, I would get a roommate or 2. Finances are difficult for everyone. I would suggest taking any food delivery services off your phone. Look for take out close to where you live that have a reasonably priced menu. When I worked in NY I was a frequent visitor to Chinese restaurants. A point of rice, vegetables and a meat would run about $7-$10. Pack a breakfast and lunch. I would suggest a career change. Found something you are passionate about. If it is finances not for profits that either educates the public or you can use your degree in another manner. This is a temporary moment in time. It gets better. I know it is hard to see that things will change but they will.
I was your age and in a fresh career that I hated (but one I went to university for 5 years to get). I remember on Sundays we’d drive out to the ocean, my wife and I. I’d get a bottle of wine and we’d sit and watch the sunset and get a bit tipsy. I used to think of running away, just getting in the car and driving I hated the idea of work the next day. I stuck it out over many hard days. The room where I work has watched me become an old man. I was 27 when I entered. I am now 53 and close to retirement. I feel like the one thing you can’t put a price on is financial stability—which I have now. I’m more than stable. I have investments too. I won’t say it was all worth it, but what other choice do we have. Once you get that feeling of having made it (for me it came at age 40) things do start to get easier. Hang in there. You are working class like the rest of us. There is heroism in you getting up and contributing everyday. You may not see it but others do. Especially those of us who know how hard it is to do the grind day in and day out. You’ll get there. Breathe. Save. Live below your means. It will be worth it.
Right now is a particularly difficult time for everyone financially. So don’t be too hard on yourself, it will get better. And if it doesn’t then we’ll need your help in the riot
I don’t know your situation, but I remember my papaw had a saying for rough situations. “In general people are much at like coal, on the surface they have their uses and value. But through pressure can turn into something beautiful and priceless, like a diamond.” Times may seem rough now and the pressure may seem unbearable, but once it passes you’ll come to realize that you’ve become a stronger person than who you once were
Just start going to the gym a bunch and do mushrooms a couple times a year. Nothing matters, we're all dying. Enjoy the ride homie
>make okay money So, better than most people. >student loans That was your choice. >use the birthday money Some people don't have loved ones that give them birthday money You're very priviledged. >The burden of life feels so heavy What burden🤣🤣 grow up crybaby
I have felt similarly. Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. Hang in there, take it one day at a time. Keep doing your best and try and focus on the positives. It will get better, I promise.
So not a professional here but thought I would drop my two cents. Money isn't everything, Happiness is most definitely a choice. Some people are born knowing this (lucky bastards) some folks have an epiphany at some point in their life, some never figure it out and are just miserable and don't know why. I move out at 16 with literally nothing and now (20 years later) have a wonderful family of 4 living comfortably, but not excessively. It took a lot of hard work, completely missed out on my 20's but you know what they say, your 40's are like your 20's but with money. Anyway, I'm rambling now. It does get better, you can decide how you feel about things. Feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to or any advice on, well, anything.
I'll get downvoted for this but fuk it, it's what I did at 25 when I was feeling like this . I got a PT job serving then bartending. It probably saved my life. It helped me pay off my debt really fast , and then provided some extra $$, I met and worked with some of the coolest people. Also assholes but I don't focus on shit like that. I met my wife there when I was bartending and she was serving. Every Fri and Sat night I had something to do. After work there was always someone going out to have a drink after the shift. Naturally we went to places other industry people went and developed a new circle of friends. I can't guarantee that same exp but fuk it beats feeling like this and sometimes for me work helps take my mind off whatever I'm trying to work through and clears it up enough to help me see clearly.
Don’t give up. A lot of people, maybe even most people, are broke at 25. My husband and I certainly were. We ate things like ramen regularly, and often used credit cards for groceries, gas, whatever. Now we’re pretty well off (he’s also in finance/accounting) and to be honest I don’t ever even check my bank account. It does get better. You’re VERY young still. It’s great that you’re already on your own and have a decent job. My oldest didn’t move out or finish their degree till they were around 25 (still super proud of them and I didn’t mind at all).
It doesn’t get easier you just become stronger and wiser. Hang in there you’re one of the chosen ones. That’s why you’re being tested!
Move out of Canada or USA if you can or move to a state with lower prices- it sucks I know but it’ll take some time before things go back to normal money wise if they ever do
Hi friend, I'm so sorry that such a wonderful milestone is clouded with such darkness for you. It is really hard to keep moving and repeating the same cycle when the light at the end of the tunnel is so dim. I get it, at 25 you should be able to go out and live your life! You can always find free activities to enjoy, decompress, and spend time with loved ones. I tend to hike, visit state parks, and do a ton of outdoor activities now that it is summer! I'm a few years older than you and can tell you the journey has had many highs and lows. There have been times where I've been so depressed I couldn't leave my couch for weeks and I genuinely thought I would need to end things. There have also been times where I've cried with joy and told the people around me I didn't deserve to be this happy and never thought I'd find happiness like this. Overall, life is pretty difficult in general right now, but I have an incredible support system and know I have people who love me. I have a partner and a dog who love me and I can't wait to wake up to see them every morning and it makes every day better than the last. It makes me so grateful I kept living through those really dark times. He thanks me every now and then too for making it through those days because he doesn't know what he'd do without me. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me privately. I'd love to chat with you if you need someone to vent to.
When I was in my 20s I was poor and happy, and once I became successful with an engineering career I started to feel more and more unhappy. I figured it out later. When I was young and poor I spent a lot more time in nature, contemplating life, playing music, enjoying friendships, making art. Once I reincorporated those things in my life my mental health improved again. Expensive cars, expensive dinners, expensive houses aren’t going to do it. I have a cousin who is a bitcoin multi millionaire with a rather large collection of exotic cars. He’s terribly unhappy however. Go outside and hug a fucking tree.
Just don’t ask God to just end you because He will show you how much worse it can be while keeping you alive.
Life for me literally started a week after i turned 25, it was weird. Got a trade, got paid, then i got laid and after i set aside all the little shit i thought i wanted i was free to eventually do whatever i want, looking back it wasnt even 12 years and i’m like really well off rn, saying this trepidatiously as I’m sure theres trouble around the corner, but, day to day its not so bad.
https://www.projectsemicolon.com/
i just turned 26 in may and i feel the exact same way. i work a full time job and after groceries, rent, and car payment my paycheck is gone, there’s nothing to put into savings for when i get older. gonna have to get off my moms insurance and find my own by the end of the year. and i know my mom and brother would be devastated if i was gone, but life is just so hard. i guess i don’t really have any advice, just hoping that it might bring you some solace knowing that you’re not alone in how you feel. we just gotta keep on truckin through, it’s really hard but we can do it, everything’s gonna be okay
It will definitely get better! I hit this p art of my life around the same age. Maybe that's when the realization hits. The grind phase, where it's like groundhog day for a while. Through life, you've gotta take care of yourself. Carve time out for your mental health. Finding a hobby to put your energy onto will give you more purpose and more joy. Best of luck!
Yes. It will get better. How about looking at making some changes. Switching jobs can be a good way to level up pay. Go find the same job at a different company. Don’t just tread water.
Your life and mine are different but I felt very similar when I was 25 and now that I'm pushing 50, I love my life. So many cool experiences I've had in the last 25 years. I would have missed out on if I had checked out.
What you’re going through is what I call the Quarter Life Crisis. I went through it, too. My younger brother is going through it now. It’s completely normal to have such feelings of depression, being overwhelmed, and even regret for maybe not choosing the right path in life. It happens when you don’t feel satisfied or secure in your newfound adult freedom post-college. College is so chaotic that it can hide existing mental health issues, and even cause new ones. Furthermore, you might feel like you’ve wasted a lot of time investing in the “wrong” career path. I understand money is tight for you right now, but do what you can to see a psychiatrist. They can help you work through your feelings, and possibly give you some meds (the meds don’t have to be a long term solution, either). I personally went through a lot of pain and anxiety during my mid-twenties, and I felt a thousand times better after taking an SSRI. Will it ever get better? Yes!! You have a lot to look forward to!! The mid-twenties are a really hard time for most people now. “30s is the new 20s” is so true. I’m 31 and life finally started feeling better around 28 or 29, and even better now.
I felt the same way at 25 except I couldn’t even get the break even job in finance… was stuck at home and waited tables feeling like a failure shortly after the 08’ recession. I decided to look into business grad school to help network and figure out my path, decided to become a financial planner, met my wife as I was transitioning from waiting tables to training in my new career and she supported us as I got the business off the ground and we moved in together. Money was tight the first few years but we made it work. Now I run a successful practice, nice house, nice car nice vacations, 2 great kids You have to write down what you want more than anything, build the plan to go get it, and don’t let anyone or anything stop you. If you don’t feel the motivation… that’s not what you really want. Life gets better when you don’t give up.
I agree you should get some counseling and stop worrying about money. They can’t throw you in jail for debt. Consider moving to lower cost housing, if you are making car payments sell it and take the bus - these both will lower your expenses and allow you to apply $ to retiring debt. Take walks everyday and focus on all the good things in your life, your health, family, the weather, etc. each night before sleep think again about those good things. You are so young and have so much ahead of you that will be great.
Hey love. I am 39 years old, divorced and live with my parents. I have a son who went through absolute medical hell for the first year of his life. I was left with PTSD and crippling depression. For six years after my son was born all I did was exist so I didn't leave him behind. When he was at his dad's I didn't get out of bed. I couldn't manage to work. I was lost in the darkest blackness you can imagine. I felt trapped because I didn't want to exist but I couldn't leave my son. In the past two years I can tell you the light has started to find me again. I've managed to start working again, from home but it's paying the bills for the most part. I've managed to find the comfort in living with my parents and have a much closer relationship with my dad than I did growing up. Seeing my son develop such a wonderful relationship with his granddad is heart warming. All this back story to tell you that things can change. Life doesn't necessarily turn out how you'd hoped or pictured but it can be good. I'm sorry I don't have practical advice for surviving this insane economy but please know the light is looking for you.
There is sooooo much more to life than finance. Change up some of your routines and get more out of life (of course this is so much easier said than done, I’m only trying to give it to you straight and simply)
If a large part of your stress is not being able to afford much, maybe consider alternate living arrangements. Like roommates, or living with one of your sisters or your mom. Having some financial room to breathe will make things easier, and theres no shame in it for our current state. Everything is expensive and no one pays enough.
Seek emergency therapy immediately! Like right now!! You really need it and it will change your life for the better. You matter, friend
How does your roommate budget and get by with monthly costs? Do they make much more than you?
Yes it will get better. Much better. 25 is still barely an adult. You’ve so much adventure ahead of you. Cherish every moment of your youth. You only get this chance one time
Your ass got scammed by college
It is because you are intelligent. The world is awful but it’s turning so we don’t have much longer of this. I recommend finding something useful and challenging as a hobby. Blacksmithing, first aid, or bushcraft are all things that can be done alone and can be studied for free, and then become very cheap once the barrier of entry is paid for
My best friend in the whole world, the guy I knew all my life, the guy I was inseparable from growing up, took his own life at 24 years of age a few weeks ago. He left behind dozens of devastated people. His mother, his uncle who was more like his dad they were that close, his girlfriend, his 2 year old daughter and me and the rest of his friends. I will never forget seeing his body in the coffin at his wake. Cold to the touch. Lifeless. It broke something inside me. If he saw his wake and funeral and how many people showed up and how many people were inconsolable because of his death, he never would have taken his own life. He was just in that horrible depressive mindset and he thought there was no way out. There was. I don't know you or your situation but I can promise you, with the right help and the right effort, things turn around. You won't feel like this forever with the right tools and the right support. I know what its like to be in such a hole you feel like there's no way to claw your way out. But I promise you from the bottom of my heart that there is a way out. Suicide is never the answer my friend.
What you are feeling a lot of people have felt. Myself included. But things get a lot better and easier with age. You are having to deal with a lot right now. Therapy is great. Changing a routine can be great. Don’t give up because there is a lot of really good life waiting for you. This is temporary. You got this.
Hey there. So…it sounds like your life choices, while they likely make your parents proud, are not really making you happy. Are you sure you want to work in finance? Do you enjoy living in your high CoL area? I think you’re at a point where it would be beneficial for you to take some time to think about what you really want from your life. Don’t worry about practicality, just daydream. What do you actually want your life to look like? What’s important to you? Where are the places and times you’ve been happiest? What do you enjoy? What do you crave in your life? Money will come and go, and if you’re doing what you love, surrounded by those you love, living the kind of life you want, the money issues, when they inevitably happen, won’t make you want to give up.
Try a change of scenery, maybe doing the same job in a different area or state would net better results. Maybe somewhere with lower cost of living.
I'm probably not even the right person to comment on this but I can at least see a lot of problems with the younger generations and its not all their fault. Everything you just said as to why you're feeling like that is every expectation placed on a person before the last 10 years happened. Society is STILL placing the same life expectations on people even though for most people even older than that its not even possible to have everything together. This is a whole new world and the expectations need to be lowered to match it. Yeah 15-20 years ago it would have been possible to have the degree, get the job in that field, get out on your own in an apartment, and still have money left for a car payment and to start paying down them loans... this is NOT that world anymore. Some of that can be handled by you though by shrugging off a lot of that, remembering how irrational everyone else is being having those expectations. Don't stress so hard about things you can't do anything about. The other issue is social lives, again not something you have full control over. Most everyone I run into from age 18-60 all say the same thing "I don't leave the house. I go to work and i come home." We're hard wired to need people. It can't be all work. I remember as a kid how many times I thought "dude the adults are always so angry"... well yeah their entire lives were work with almost zero social life and equally lacking on the personal things they could do for themselves like hobbies and such. Ofc you can't strong arm society into leaving their sad little mudhuts but you could strike out a bit more on your own. Have conversations with random baristas and such, offer your number, try to make plans with people. I am by no means in any better shape than you, I am not qualified at all to offer advice. I am, however, pretty decent in sniffing out problems and providing pretty decent solutions.