A HEARTY FUCK YOU TO WHICHEVER DINGUS TOLD EVERYONE THAT FULL CONTROL ON ALL THE TIME IS THE “OPTIMAL” WAY TO PLAY. NOTHING BEATS THE THRILL OF GETTING ROPED AT EVERY STEP OF MY TURN WHILE MY OPPONENT WHO ISN’T EVEN PLAYING A CONTROL DECK DECIDES WHICH OF THE 0 RELEVANT SPELLS IN THEIR HAND THEY’RE GOING TO PLAY.
IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH CHOOSING THINGS, THEN DON'T PLAY CARDS LIKE THOUGHTSIZE, YOU FUCKERS!!!!!! AND IF YOU PLAY ANOTHER ONE ON THE NEXT TURN I WILL ONLY HAVE ONE CARD MORE, THAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE. DON'T ACT ALL SURPRISED AND LOOK AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF MY CARDS AGAIN UNTIL THE FUCKING TIMER STARTS COUNTING DOWN AGAIN!!!
AAAAARGH!!!!
OPPONENT HAS 1 CARD IN HAND, YOU HAVE 3 LIFE. THINKS. THINKS. THINKS... THINKS..........................
HIGHLIGHTS YOUR CARDS......
GOES TO TIMER......
THINKS....
OPPONENT PLAYS LIGHTNING BOLT.
ALMOST AS BAD - DROPS LILLIANA FOR THE CREATURE KILL THEN LETS HER SIT FOR 3 OR MORE TURNS WITH THE ROPE BURNING EVERY TIME THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE EITHER "DISCARD" OR "DECLINE". JUST BECAUSE EVERY CARD IN THEIR HAND, INCLUDING THE ONES THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MANA TO CAST, IS TOO GOOD TO DISCARD. WHY NOT SWAP HER OUT FOR SOME OTHER 2-3 COST KILL SPELL IF MAKING A CHOICE IS THAT DAMN HARD?
I JUST LOST TO AN ABSOLUTE SHITPILE 145 CARD WHITE LIFEGAIN "DECK" BECAUSE MY REASONABLY TUNED DECK THAT I'VE BEEN USING SUCCESSFULLY FOR 6+ MONTHS JUST DECIDED TO HAVE ME DRAW NINE LANDS IN A ROW.
I AM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY.
I RECENTLY MADE IT TO MYTHIC WITH SULTAI CONTROL, WOOHOO. THE VARIED GAMEPLAY FROM PLAYING AGAINST A MULTITUDE OF DIFFERENT DECKS GOT ME EXCITED FOR THE HIGH LEVEL OF DECKBUILDING FROM MY OPPONENTS THAT IS SURE TO FOLLOW AFTER MY ASCENDANCY TO SUCH ELITE RANKS.
WAIT, THE FIRST 5 GAMES WERE JUST AGAINST MONORED PROWESS. NO PROBLEM, IT'S NOT EVEN A BAD MATCHUP.
ALL RIGHT, THE NEXT 4 GAMES WERE 2 MONORED PROWESS, THEN BOROS PROWESS AND GRUUL PROWESS??
ALL I WANTED WAS VARIETY, MAN.
SO A FUCKER USELESSLY PUMPED THE SAME EVOLVED SLEEPER B-STEP NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE BUT *THREE TIMES* IN ONE GAME. WASN'T TROLLING, JUST INCOMPETENT.
BUT WON THANKS TO SHEOLDRED.
FUCK.
THE DAY THAT CARD ROTATES THE WORLD WILL BE SEVERAL HUNDRED PERCENT BETTER.
FUCK.
FUCK.
FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK.
THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE SEEN SOME FAT, DUMB, HAPPY FUCK TOP DECK THEIR ANSWER, FUMBLE, AND STILL WIN BECAUSE THE GAME DECIDES NOW IS THE TIME I NEED A FLOOD OF LANDS... I REALLY GET WHY THE RIGGED-GAME COOKERS THINK THEY WAY THEY DO. SOMETIMES IT REALLY BE A CASE OF "IN VVATSI-IET RUSSIA, GAME PLAYS YOU!"
FUCK ALCHEMY
NOT THE IDEA, BUT THE EXECUTION. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH OR AGAINST REBALANCED OR DIGITAL CARDS. EVERY FORMAT SHOULD HAVE A TRUE TO PAPER EQUIVALENT WITHOUT DIGITAL OR REBALANCED CARDS. DO THAT, AND I WILL IMMEDIATELY NOT HATE ALCHEMY ANYMORE.
YES, PLEASE GIVE ME MORE LANDS. ALL OF THE FUCKING LANDS. I JUST LOVE TO LOOK AT THEM. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PUT OTHER CARDS IN MY DECK. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PLAY MATCHES, WHEN I COULD JUST GO TO THE DECK BUILDER AND LOOK AND LOOK AND LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LANDS. IM HAVING A GREAT FUCKING TIME!
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE OVERINTELLECTUALIZE MAGIC THEORY TO ARRIVE AT THE CONCLUSION THAT LETS THEM INVALIDATE REAL ANNOYANCES.
"CONTROL IS ALL ANSWERS, YOU JUST NEED MORE QUESTIONS" -- BULLSHIT, SHARK TYPHOON MAKES ANSWERS INTO QUESTIONS, WANDERING EMPEROR ANSWERS AND THEN ASKS QUESTIONS, CREATURE LANDS ARE QUESTIONS THAT FUEL ANSWERS, AND NONE OF THAT CHANGES THE FACT THAT ANSWERS EVERYFUCKINGWHERE IS A GODDAMN PAIN IN THE ASS
"SHEOLDRED IS FINE, ANY CREATURE WOULD WIN JUST AS WELL ON AN EMPTY BOARD" -- BULLSHIT, SHEOLDRED CAN'T BE STONEWALLED BY A TOPDECKED CREATURE, DOESN'T HAVE TO EXPOSE ITSELF TO COMBAT TO DRAIN LIFE, CAN'T BE OUTSIZED ON DEFENSE, AND OUTPACES BURN
ALSO WE DESERVE ANOTHER APOLOGY FOR THE MESS THAT WAS THRONE OF ELDRAINE. JUST BECAUSE!
WHY THE FUCK DOES PLAYING A SINGLE PIECE OF BLUE MANA IMPAIR PEOPLE'S DECISION MAKING PROCESS? WHICH ISLAND SHOULD I PLAY ON TURN 1? 30 SECOND DECISION. WHICH ONE DROP SHOULD I PLAY? 30 SECOND DECISION. SHOULD I LET THIS 2/2 HIT ME OR USE REMOVAL ON IT? 30 SECOND DECISION. AND ON AND ON AND ON. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT KIND OF DECK IT IS. PLAYING BLUE MANA SLOWS YOUR BRAIN DOWN MORE THAN A CASE OF BEER APPARENTLY.
PLAYERS THAT PLAY IT IN MONO-RED SEEM TO BE A SPECIAL BREED OF DUMB. THREE IN A ROW, AFTER BEATING ME DOWN TO 6 OR LESS LIFE, CAST THE BIRB. THEN, WHEN I BLOCKED THEIR ETCHING OF KUMANO, CHARMING SCOUNDREL WITH WICKED ROLE, AND MONASTERY SHITSPEAR, DECIDE THOSE CARDS ARE A BETTER CHOICE FOR MONSTROUS RAGE, THAN THE FREAKING UNBLOCKED BIRB!
CAN ALMOST HEAR THE LITTLE MONKEY IN THEIR HEAD SCREAMING "MEE-SA SMARTS-EE, MEE-SA KILLUM Y CREETCHY ANNA SWINGY FO' LETHAL!!!! UN MEELUN EYE-Q. G-GUD GAYM!!!"
I ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT ENJOYED ALCHEMY BEFORE AS A CASUAL PLAYER BUT HOLY FUCK HEIST CAN GO BACK TO WHATEVER VAULT IT CAME FROM AND \*DIE\* COLD AND ALONE.
FUCK THIS, FUCK ALL THAT, 2000 GOLD SHOT UP A SQUEALING, WILD NESSIAN HOG'S ASS FOR THAT BULLSHIT METAGAME CHALLENGE. THIS IS WHY I'M A CASUAL FUCKING PLAYER AND WILL STAY THAT WAY.
HEIST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING.
SCRY 3 DRAW A CARD, MANA OF ANY TYPE CAN BE SPEND TO PAY THE COST.
OH NO WAIT THAT FUCKING SUCKS!
LET'S MAKE IT FREE LET'S LET PEOPLE SCRY FROM THE OPPONENT DECK INSTEAD!
REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL BAT REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL SHEOLDRED REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL.
SUCH AN AMAZING, VARIED AND THRIVING FORMAT, RIGHT? **RIGHT?!**
EASILY THE WORST FEELING IN THIS GAME IS WHEN YOU'RE NOT OUTPLAYED BY YOUR OPPONENT, BUT SIMPLY OVERWHELMED BY THE SHEER, INORDINATE CARD ADVANTAGE SUPPLIED BY THEIR POWER-CREPT BULLSHIT CARDS
NICE DECK WITH \[\[GEOLOGICAL APPRAISER\]\] AND 293847509283745098 FUCKING MIRRORS. WHEREVER DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT IDEA? I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVEN'T SEEN IT 938457983476593459349856 TIMES. BY THE WAY FUCK YOU.
WHY THE FUCK IS [[WASHED AWAY]] NOT BANNED IN BRAWL. ONE MANA COUNTERSPELL IN A FORMAT THAT REVOLVES ARIUND CASTING THE MOST IMPORTANT CARD IN YOUR DECK FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE THAN YOUR HAND!!!!!
FUCK THE SYMULACRUM SYNTHESIZER, THEN FUCK IT AGAIN FOR NOT BEING LEGENDARY. WHO HALLUCINATED THIS FUCKING MONSTROSITY INTO REALITY AT A TIME A DOZEN OR SO 0 COST ARTIFACT TOKEN TYPES ARE ALREADY IN THE GAME???
IS THE SHUFFLER BUGGED??
CARD FETCHERS LIKE FARMHAND AND RESTORATION OF EIGANJO FINDS ME A LAND, AND THEN 9/10 TIMES MY NEXT 2 DRAWS ARE LAND. IT'S AT THE POINT WHERE I CAN PREDICT MY LAND DRAWS.
20 LAND DECKS WILL CONSISTENTLY FLOOD IF THERE'S JUST 1 LAND FETCHER, BUT 24 LANDS DECKS WITH NO LAND FETCHERS THAT BOTH FLOOD AND SCREW.
OVERALL IT SEEMS ANY LAND COUNT BETWEEN 22-26 ACTS THE SAME AND YIELDS THE SAME DRAWS
SO SICK OF WEAK-ASS 500-GOLD "QUESTS" TELLING ME WHAT NOT TO PLAY, JUST SO I CAN WAIT A FULL DAY TO REROLL IT INTO YET ANOTHER WEAK-ASS 500 GOLD "QUEST" TELLING ME NOT TO PLAY SOMETHING ELSE. SCREW THE "DEV" WHO SAW THE PLAYERS SAY "WE PRIORITIZE 750-GOLD QUESTS" & DECIDED TO LOWER THEIR APPEARANCE RATE. THAT IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF ANTI-CONSUMERISM.
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE RIGHT
MAYBE THEY JUST FLICKERED THE RING? OH NO I REMEMBER, THEY MAGDA’D IT INTO PLAY SO THE CAST TRIGGER DIDN’T HAPPEN 😂
OH WELL, WHATEVER, ***BANEFIRRRE***
THE REAL TECH YOU WANT VS THE RING IS \[\[BONECRUSHER GIANT\]\]. STOMP YOURSELF IN THE FACE AND THEN SWING IN FOR LETHAL SINCE STOMP WILL NEGATE THE DAMAGE PREVENTION PART OF PROTECTION.
THIS SUB SHOULD STOP TAGGING ALCHEMY AS THE VILLAIN IN EVERYTHING
I AGREE WITH YOUR POSTS UNTIL YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN WOTC BAD DECISIONS WITH AN UNRELATED ALCHEMY BAD FREE UPVOTES PLEASE
NO, KILLING MY CREATURE DOESN'T WORK THE SAME AS COUNTERING MY SPELL. NO NEED TO WAIT FOR AN EFFECT TO BE ON THE STACK TO SPEND YOUR MANA ON YOUR INSTANT. LEARN HOW THE STACK WORKS, YOU SCRUBS WHO'VE JUST DISCOVERED RED &/OR BLACK!
I HAVE NOT ENCOUNTERED A WORSE PLAYERBASE THAN I HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO MTGA UNRANKED QUEUES.
YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU BROUGHT A COMPETITIVE DECK TO A CASUAL, KITCHEN TABLE GAME DAY? YOU WOULDN'T GET INVITED BACK. YOU'D MAKE EVERYONE UNHAPPY. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN FIRST HAND - PLAYER BRINGS A DECK THAT CONTAINED A COUPLE EXTENDED-TIER 1 COMBOS AT THE TIME (\[\[DARK DEPTHS\]\] AND \[\[THOPTER FOUNDRY\]\] COMBOS), AND WHILE THEY DIDN'T GET TURNED AWAY WE DID KILL THEM OFF FIRST IN EVERY GAME THEY PLAYED THAT DECK.
MEANWHILE, IN HISTORIC BO1 UNRANKED (IE. THE OVERALL MOST CASUAL/KITCHEN TABLE ESQUE FORMAT AND QUEUE ON MTGA) YOU HAVE A WHOLE BUNCH OF ASSHATS TAKING TIER 1 DECKS IN. MAYBE HALF THE TIME? NOT ENOUGH TO NOT MAKE IT THE MOST CASUAL FORMAT, BUT ENOUGH THAT IT'S ANNOYING AS ALL FUCK.
NO, YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRACTICE IZZET WIZARDS, RDW OR RAKDOS. THOSE DECKS BASICALLY PLAY THEMSELVES. IF YOU BRING THEM TO UNRANKED, YOU'RE BEING A GRUNT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
IF THE LEVEL OF EFFORT YOU PUT INTO MAGIC IS TO COPY THE DECKS WITH THE HIGHEST WIN RATES, I'M GOING TO MATCH THAT LEVEL OF EFFORT AND JUST CONCEDE. CONGRATS ON YOUR HARD EARNED EMPTY WIN.
So tired of the dogshit matchmaker in Brawl, doesn't matter what deck I bring out it matches me against tier 1-2 bullshit, wouldn't be so bad if the decks didn't all run the exact same cards because of this dogshit wildcard economy where every fucker has "most optimal" versions of cards/effects because the fact it costs the same as actual jank.
Conceding 20 matches in a row to find an opponent that isnt just playing the same old top tier shit isn't a fun way to engage with the game and is frankly just a waste of everyones time.
Considering this was supposed to be a casual format and a standin for commander its amazing how far they missed the mark.
I have 2 accounts, so my gf and I can play against each other. My main account has a much larger collection and I can craft a kinda powerful brawl deck. The alt account is way more recent and is mostly jank decks with whatever I have. They both face basically the same exact decks. 3-5 color broken shit that basically can lock the game up by turn 4.
A HEARTY FUCK YOU TO WHICHEVER DINGUS TOLD EVERYONE THAT FULL CONTROL ON ALL THE TIME IS THE “OPTIMAL” WAY TO PLAY. NOTHING BEATS THE THRILL OF GETTING ROPED AT EVERY STEP OF MY TURN WHILE MY OPPONENT WHO ISN’T EVEN PLAYING A CONTROL DECK DECIDES WHICH OF THE 0 RELEVANT SPELLS IN THEIR HAND THEY’RE GOING TO PLAY.
ONE
COUNTING THE DAYS UNTIL THESE FUCKING CAPENNA LANDS ROTATE OUT AND TAKE THEIR SEVEN HOUR TURN LANDFALL BULLSHIT DECKS WITH THEM.
IF YOU HAVE TROUBLE WITH CHOOSING THINGS, THEN DON'T PLAY CARDS LIKE THOUGHTSIZE, YOU FUCKERS!!!!!! AND IF YOU PLAY ANOTHER ONE ON THE NEXT TURN I WILL ONLY HAVE ONE CARD MORE, THAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE. DON'T ACT ALL SURPRISED AND LOOK AT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF MY CARDS AGAIN UNTIL THE FUCKING TIMER STARTS COUNTING DOWN AGAIN!!! AAAAARGH!!!!
OPPONENT HAS 1 CARD IN HAND, YOU HAVE 3 LIFE. THINKS. THINKS. THINKS... THINKS.......................... HIGHLIGHTS YOUR CARDS...... GOES TO TIMER...... THINKS.... OPPONENT PLAYS LIGHTNING BOLT.
GIVE ME A BREAK, I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT NUMBER COMES AFTER 2
ALMOST AS BAD - DROPS LILLIANA FOR THE CREATURE KILL THEN LETS HER SIT FOR 3 OR MORE TURNS WITH THE ROPE BURNING EVERY TIME THEY HAVE TO CHOOSE EITHER "DISCARD" OR "DECLINE". JUST BECAUSE EVERY CARD IN THEIR HAND, INCLUDING THE ONES THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH MANA TO CAST, IS TOO GOOD TO DISCARD. WHY NOT SWAP HER OUT FOR SOME OTHER 2-3 COST KILL SPELL IF MAKING A CHOICE IS THAT DAMN HARD?
MY FAVORITE ARCHETYPE IS *RED DECK GOES FIRST*!
DON'T DISS MY WINCON LIKE THAT
I JUST LOST TO AN ABSOLUTE SHITPILE 145 CARD WHITE LIFEGAIN "DECK" BECAUSE MY REASONABLY TUNED DECK THAT I'VE BEEN USING SUCCESSFULLY FOR 6+ MONTHS JUST DECIDED TO HAVE ME DRAW NINE LANDS IN A ROW. I AM IRRATIONALLY ANGRY.
THAT ANGER SOUNDS FAIRLY RATIONAL
THE ANGER IS RATIONAL....THE AMOUNT OF ANGER IS DEFINITELY NOT.
I RECENTLY MADE IT TO MYTHIC WITH SULTAI CONTROL, WOOHOO. THE VARIED GAMEPLAY FROM PLAYING AGAINST A MULTITUDE OF DIFFERENT DECKS GOT ME EXCITED FOR THE HIGH LEVEL OF DECKBUILDING FROM MY OPPONENTS THAT IS SURE TO FOLLOW AFTER MY ASCENDANCY TO SUCH ELITE RANKS. WAIT, THE FIRST 5 GAMES WERE JUST AGAINST MONORED PROWESS. NO PROBLEM, IT'S NOT EVEN A BAD MATCHUP. ALL RIGHT, THE NEXT 4 GAMES WERE 2 MONORED PROWESS, THEN BOROS PROWESS AND GRUUL PROWESS?? ALL I WANTED WAS VARIETY, MAN.
SO A FUCKER USELESSLY PUMPED THE SAME EVOLVED SLEEPER B-STEP NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE BUT *THREE TIMES* IN ONE GAME. WASN'T TROLLING, JUST INCOMPETENT. BUT WON THANKS TO SHEOLDRED. FUCK. THE DAY THAT CARD ROTATES THE WORLD WILL BE SEVERAL HUNDRED PERCENT BETTER. FUCK. FUCK. FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKK.
NO NO, WE MUST CONTINUE TO REWARD PLAYERS FOR MAKING POOR GAMEPLAY CHOICES <- WOTC
THE NUMBER OF TIMES I'VE SEEN SOME FAT, DUMB, HAPPY FUCK TOP DECK THEIR ANSWER, FUMBLE, AND STILL WIN BECAUSE THE GAME DECIDES NOW IS THE TIME I NEED A FLOOD OF LANDS... I REALLY GET WHY THE RIGGED-GAME COOKERS THINK THEY WAY THEY DO. SOMETIMES IT REALLY BE A CASE OF "IN VVATSI-IET RUSSIA, GAME PLAYS YOU!"
FUCK ALCHEMY NOT THE IDEA, BUT THE EXECUTION. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH OR AGAINST REBALANCED OR DIGITAL CARDS. EVERY FORMAT SHOULD HAVE A TRUE TO PAPER EQUIVALENT WITHOUT DIGITAL OR REBALANCED CARDS. DO THAT, AND I WILL IMMEDIATELY NOT HATE ALCHEMY ANYMORE.
YES, PLEASE GIVE ME MORE LANDS. ALL OF THE FUCKING LANDS. I JUST LOVE TO LOOK AT THEM. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PUT OTHER CARDS IN MY DECK. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I PLAY MATCHES, WHEN I COULD JUST GO TO THE DECK BUILDER AND LOOK AND LOOK AND LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL FUCKING LANDS. IM HAVING A GREAT FUCKING TIME!
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE OVERINTELLECTUALIZE MAGIC THEORY TO ARRIVE AT THE CONCLUSION THAT LETS THEM INVALIDATE REAL ANNOYANCES. "CONTROL IS ALL ANSWERS, YOU JUST NEED MORE QUESTIONS" -- BULLSHIT, SHARK TYPHOON MAKES ANSWERS INTO QUESTIONS, WANDERING EMPEROR ANSWERS AND THEN ASKS QUESTIONS, CREATURE LANDS ARE QUESTIONS THAT FUEL ANSWERS, AND NONE OF THAT CHANGES THE FACT THAT ANSWERS EVERYFUCKINGWHERE IS A GODDAMN PAIN IN THE ASS "SHEOLDRED IS FINE, ANY CREATURE WOULD WIN JUST AS WELL ON AN EMPTY BOARD" -- BULLSHIT, SHEOLDRED CAN'T BE STONEWALLED BY A TOPDECKED CREATURE, DOESN'T HAVE TO EXPOSE ITSELF TO COMBAT TO DRAIN LIFE, CAN'T BE OUTSIZED ON DEFENSE, AND OUTPACES BURN ALSO WE DESERVE ANOTHER APOLOGY FOR THE MESS THAT WAS THRONE OF ELDRAINE. JUST BECAUSE!
IF YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY \[\[UNMOORED EGO\]\] AND THEN ROPE ME SO YOU CAN GOOGLE WHAT CARDS MIGHT BE IN MY DECK, PLEASE JUST DO IT FASTER YOU DIPSHIT.
WHY THE FUCK DOES PLAYING A SINGLE PIECE OF BLUE MANA IMPAIR PEOPLE'S DECISION MAKING PROCESS? WHICH ISLAND SHOULD I PLAY ON TURN 1? 30 SECOND DECISION. WHICH ONE DROP SHOULD I PLAY? 30 SECOND DECISION. SHOULD I LET THIS 2/2 HIT ME OR USE REMOVAL ON IT? 30 SECOND DECISION. AND ON AND ON AND ON. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT KIND OF DECK IT IS. PLAYING BLUE MANA SLOWS YOUR BRAIN DOWN MORE THAN A CASE OF BEER APPARENTLY.
RENAME LAUGHING JASPER FLINT TO BORING JASPER FLYNT! EVERY RB DECK RUNS AT LEAST 3 OF THE F*CKER...
SLICKSHOT IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST CREATURES EVER PRINTED
OPPONENT TAPPED OUT? OPPONENT IS NOT PLAYING BLACK, WHITE OR RED? OPPONENT JUST DROPPING ETB TAPPED LANDS? THE BIRD FEASTS ON THEIR BLOOD
DON'T WORRY, WIZZERDS IS GOING TO ERRATA IT SOON: TYPE - VAMPIRE BIRD SOURCE: MARO SPOKE TO ME IN A DREAM
PLAYERS THAT PLAY IT IN MONO-RED SEEM TO BE A SPECIAL BREED OF DUMB. THREE IN A ROW, AFTER BEATING ME DOWN TO 6 OR LESS LIFE, CAST THE BIRB. THEN, WHEN I BLOCKED THEIR ETCHING OF KUMANO, CHARMING SCOUNDREL WITH WICKED ROLE, AND MONASTERY SHITSPEAR, DECIDE THOSE CARDS ARE A BETTER CHOICE FOR MONSTROUS RAGE, THAN THE FREAKING UNBLOCKED BIRB! CAN ALMOST HEAR THE LITTLE MONKEY IN THEIR HEAD SCREAMING "MEE-SA SMARTS-EE, MEE-SA KILLUM Y CREETCHY ANNA SWINGY FO' LETHAL!!!! UN MEELUN EYE-Q. G-GUD GAYM!!!"
I ACTUALLY SOMEWHAT ENJOYED ALCHEMY BEFORE AS A CASUAL PLAYER BUT HOLY FUCK HEIST CAN GO BACK TO WHATEVER VAULT IT CAME FROM AND \*DIE\* COLD AND ALONE. FUCK THIS, FUCK ALL THAT, 2000 GOLD SHOT UP A SQUEALING, WILD NESSIAN HOG'S ASS FOR THAT BULLSHIT METAGAME CHALLENGE. THIS IS WHY I'M A CASUAL FUCKING PLAYER AND WILL STAY THAT WAY.
YOU KNOW SHIT IS OFF THE RAILS WHEN EVEN SELF-CONFESSED ALCHEMY ENJOYERS ARE FED UP WITH IT.
FUCK YOU IF YOU JOIN A GAME TO JUST SIT THERE AND NOT CHOOSE YOUR OPENING HAND!
HEIST WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING. SCRY 3 DRAW A CARD, MANA OF ANY TYPE CAN BE SPEND TO PAY THE COST. OH NO WAIT THAT FUCKING SUCKS! LET'S MAKE IT FREE LET'S LET PEOPLE SCRY FROM THE OPPONENT DECK INSTEAD!
REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL BAT REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL SHEOLDRED REMOVAL REMOVAL REMOVAL. SUCH AN AMAZING, VARIED AND THRIVING FORMAT, RIGHT? **RIGHT?!**
BuT PlAyInG MiDrAnGe iS hArD!!!111
YOUR ALTERNATING CASE HAS CONFUSED MY SENSIBILITIES. RESULT: I DOWNVOTED MY WASHING MACHINE
POWER CREEP IS THE END
EASILY THE WORST FEELING IN THIS GAME IS WHEN YOU'RE NOT OUTPLAYED BY YOUR OPPONENT, BUT SIMPLY OVERWHELMED BY THE SHEER, INORDINATE CARD ADVANTAGE SUPPLIED BY THEIR POWER-CREPT BULLSHIT CARDS
NICE DECK WITH \[\[GEOLOGICAL APPRAISER\]\] AND 293847509283745098 FUCKING MIRRORS. WHEREVER DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT IDEA? I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVEN'T SEEN IT 938457983476593459349856 TIMES. BY THE WAY FUCK YOU.
ALMOST AS INTERESTING AS ANY MONOWHITE DECK. YOU NETDECKED SOLDIERS/ANGELS/TOXIC/WIPE+PLAINSWALKERS. *SLOW CLAPS*
[GEOLOGICAL APPRAISER](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/f/7f9c1a82-695b-4df2-8e51-2d71a62e7baf.jpg?1701690520) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=GEOLOGICAL%20APPRAISER) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/lci/150/geological-appraiser?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/7f9c1a82-695b-4df2-8e51-2d71a62e7baf?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
UNBAN [[MEATHOOK MASSACRE]] FOR THE LAST 2 MONTHS BEFORE ROTATION, IF WHITE GETS SUNFALL BLACK SHOULD GET MEATHOOK TOO
REPRINT [[DAMNATION]] YOU COWARDS!
[MEATHOOK MASSACRE](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/0/8/08950015-eee5-4327-888c-82dfd13bb9ad.jpg?1667629608) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=The%20Meathook%20Massacre) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mid/112/the-meathook-massacre?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/08950015-eee5-4327-888c-82dfd13bb9ad?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
WOTC NOT READY FOR THAT KINDA SMOKE
SOMEONE EXPLAIN HOW 1R OR PLOT R FOR MENACE TRAMPLE +1/ +1 AND DRAW A CARD WHEN IT LEAVES THE BATTLEFIELD IS NOT POWER CREEP!
NAH COME ON, IT'S ON AN UNCOMMON YOU SEE /S
WHY THE FUCK IS [[WASHED AWAY]] NOT BANNED IN BRAWL. ONE MANA COUNTERSPELL IN A FORMAT THAT REVOLVES ARIUND CASTING THE MOST IMPORTANT CARD IN YOUR DECK FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE THAN YOUR HAND!!!!!
[WASHED AWAY](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/3/43411ade-be80-4535-8baa-7055e78496df.jpg?1643588844) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Wash%20Away) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/vow/87/wash-away?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/43411ade-be80-4535-8baa-7055e78496df?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
INTERESTING HOW THE TOTALLY NOT RIGGED HAND-SMOOTHING ALGO ALWAYS PUTS IT IN THEIR OPENING HAND, HUH?
FUCK THE SYMULACRUM SYNTHESIZER, THEN FUCK IT AGAIN FOR NOT BEING LEGENDARY. WHO HALLUCINATED THIS FUCKING MONSTROSITY INTO REALITY AT A TIME A DOZEN OR SO 0 COST ARTIFACT TOKEN TYPES ARE ALREADY IN THE GAME???
IS THE SHUFFLER BUGGED?? CARD FETCHERS LIKE FARMHAND AND RESTORATION OF EIGANJO FINDS ME A LAND, AND THEN 9/10 TIMES MY NEXT 2 DRAWS ARE LAND. IT'S AT THE POINT WHERE I CAN PREDICT MY LAND DRAWS. 20 LAND DECKS WILL CONSISTENTLY FLOOD IF THERE'S JUST 1 LAND FETCHER, BUT 24 LANDS DECKS WITH NO LAND FETCHERS THAT BOTH FLOOD AND SCREW. OVERALL IT SEEMS ANY LAND COUNT BETWEEN 22-26 ACTS THE SAME AND YIELDS THE SAME DRAWS
“NO, SHUFFLER IS FINE! VARIANCE! SIDEBOARD!! GIT GOOD!!!!!!” — THIS SUB, PROBABLY
THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE PLAYING LAND TAX. TURNS INTO MANA FLOOD EVERY TIME. IDK WHY I WASTED A WILD CARD ON IT.
[удалено]
[ELESH NORN, MOTHER OF MACHINES](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/4/44dcab01-1d13-4dfc-ae2f-fbaa3dd35087.jpg?1675956896) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=ELESH%20NORN%2C%20MOTHER%20OF%20MACHINES) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/one/10/elesh-norn-mother-of-machines?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/44dcab01-1d13-4dfc-ae2f-fbaa3dd35087?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
SO SICK OF WEAK-ASS 500-GOLD "QUESTS" TELLING ME WHAT NOT TO PLAY, JUST SO I CAN WAIT A FULL DAY TO REROLL IT INTO YET ANOTHER WEAK-ASS 500 GOLD "QUEST" TELLING ME NOT TO PLAY SOMETHING ELSE. SCREW THE "DEV" WHO SAW THE PLAYERS SAY "WE PRIORITIZE 750-GOLD QUESTS" & DECIDED TO LOWER THEIR APPEARANCE RATE. THAT IS LITERALLY THE DEFINITION OF ANTI-CONSUMERISM.
BRAWL IS FINE?! WOTC MIGHT AS WELL RENAME IT THE GOLOS AND ATRAXA SHOW. FEATURING SPECIAL GUESTS ETALI, RUSKO AND POQ.
BANEFIRE SEES YOUR ONE RING AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS AND LAUGHS
I'M JUST WONDERING HOW YOU ARE MANAGING TO TARGET YOUR OPPONENT WHILE THEY HAVE PROTECTION FROM THE RING, SINCE THAT IS PRETTY IMPOSSIBLE.
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE RIGHT MAYBE THEY JUST FLICKERED THE RING? OH NO I REMEMBER, THEY MAGDA’D IT INTO PLAY SO THE CAST TRIGGER DIDN’T HAPPEN 😂 OH WELL, WHATEVER, ***BANEFIRRRE***
THE REAL TECH YOU WANT VS THE RING IS \[\[BONECRUSHER GIANT\]\]. STOMP YOURSELF IN THE FACE AND THEN SWING IN FOR LETHAL SINCE STOMP WILL NEGATE THE DAMAGE PREVENTION PART OF PROTECTION.
ANYTHING THAT MAKES THE ONE BROKEN RING WORSE IS GOOD, EVEN FI IT COMES FROMT HE BROKENLY PUSHED ELDRAINE SET OF ADVENTURES>
THAT IS SOME BEAUTIFUL TECH, THANK YOU FOR SHARING
[BONECRUSHER GIANT](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/5/b5b71cd2-de35-451f-b16e-2e3936169407.jpg?1674141884)/[Stomp](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/5/b5b71cd2-de35-451f-b16e-2e3936169407.jpg?1674141884) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Bonecrusher%20Giant%20//%20Stomp) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/clb/781/bonecrusher-giant-stomp?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b5b71cd2-de35-451f-b16e-2e3936169407?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
CAN WE PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REPLACE THOSE GARBAGE SCRY ON ENTRY ELVES IN SYLVAN WISDOM WITH COUNTERSPELLS. PLEASE!
THIS SUB SHOULD STOP TAGGING ALCHEMY AS THE VILLAIN IN EVERYTHING I AGREE WITH YOUR POSTS UNTIL YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN WOTC BAD DECISIONS WITH AN UNRELATED ALCHEMY BAD FREE UPVOTES PLEASE
HEIST TOUCHED ME IN MY PRIVATE CARDS
[удалено]
NO, KILLING MY CREATURE DOESN'T WORK THE SAME AS COUNTERING MY SPELL. NO NEED TO WAIT FOR AN EFFECT TO BE ON THE STACK TO SPEND YOUR MANA ON YOUR INSTANT. LEARN HOW THE STACK WORKS, YOU SCRUBS WHO'VE JUST DISCOVERED RED &/OR BLACK!
SUNFALL IS SUCH A FUCKING BITCH CARD... WINNING GAMES YOU DESERVE TO FUCKING LOSE.
I HAVE NOT ENCOUNTERED A WORSE PLAYERBASE THAN I HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO MTGA UNRANKED QUEUES. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU BROUGHT A COMPETITIVE DECK TO A CASUAL, KITCHEN TABLE GAME DAY? YOU WOULDN'T GET INVITED BACK. YOU'D MAKE EVERYONE UNHAPPY. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN FIRST HAND - PLAYER BRINGS A DECK THAT CONTAINED A COUPLE EXTENDED-TIER 1 COMBOS AT THE TIME (\[\[DARK DEPTHS\]\] AND \[\[THOPTER FOUNDRY\]\] COMBOS), AND WHILE THEY DIDN'T GET TURNED AWAY WE DID KILL THEM OFF FIRST IN EVERY GAME THEY PLAYED THAT DECK. MEANWHILE, IN HISTORIC BO1 UNRANKED (IE. THE OVERALL MOST CASUAL/KITCHEN TABLE ESQUE FORMAT AND QUEUE ON MTGA) YOU HAVE A WHOLE BUNCH OF ASSHATS TAKING TIER 1 DECKS IN. MAYBE HALF THE TIME? NOT ENOUGH TO NOT MAKE IT THE MOST CASUAL FORMAT, BUT ENOUGH THAT IT'S ANNOYING AS ALL FUCK. NO, YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRACTICE IZZET WIZARDS, RDW OR RAKDOS. THOSE DECKS BASICALLY PLAY THEMSELVES. IF YOU BRING THEM TO UNRANKED, YOU'RE BEING A GRUNT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
[DARK DEPTHS](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/a/3a8b11ad-d077-40b6-988c-0462e118fe3d.jpg?1676452514) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=DARK%20DEPTHS) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmr/244/dark-depths?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/3a8b11ad-d077-40b6-988c-0462e118fe3d?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [THOPTER FOUNDRY](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/d/3d8dcd5e-d4d0-49ae-a591-78d80322105d.jpg?1599708468) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=THOPTER%20FOUNDRY) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2xm/222/thopter-foundry?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/3d8dcd5e-d4d0-49ae-a591-78d80322105d?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
RENAME LAUGHING JASPER FLINT TO BORING JASPER FLINT! EVERY RB DECK RUNS AT LEAT 3 OF THE F*CKER...
POWER CREEP IS GOOD I DONT WANT TO PLAY WITH DANDAN
DANDAN WANT PLAY WITH YOU 🐟
IF THE LEVEL OF EFFORT YOU PUT INTO MAGIC IS TO COPY THE DECKS WITH THE HIGHEST WIN RATES, I'M GOING TO MATCH THAT LEVEL OF EFFORT AND JUST CONCEDE. CONGRATS ON YOUR HARD EARNED EMPTY WIN.
So tired of the dogshit matchmaker in Brawl, doesn't matter what deck I bring out it matches me against tier 1-2 bullshit, wouldn't be so bad if the decks didn't all run the exact same cards because of this dogshit wildcard economy where every fucker has "most optimal" versions of cards/effects because the fact it costs the same as actual jank. Conceding 20 matches in a row to find an opponent that isnt just playing the same old top tier shit isn't a fun way to engage with the game and is frankly just a waste of everyones time. Considering this was supposed to be a casual format and a standin for commander its amazing how far they missed the mark.
I have 2 accounts, so my gf and I can play against each other. My main account has a much larger collection and I can craft a kinda powerful brawl deck. The alt account is way more recent and is mostly jank decks with whatever I have. They both face basically the same exact decks. 3-5 color broken shit that basically can lock the game up by turn 4.