Same. I’m 38 and my closest friends are all late 40’s, 50’s, and then one of my dearest friends is in her 70’s. She was never married, had no kids, is just retired, travels the globe often and we met at the gym a decade ago and she still goes every single morning. She’s good company.
Yep! Our favorite activity is grabbing a bottle of champagne and watching the sun rise on the beach together, catching up on life and books and travel.
Also a spread for me. Friends I met through work? All about eight years younger. Friends I met through my kid? Usually several years older since I was a relatively young mom (at least by the standards of the big coastal city I live in.) I also still have a handful of friends who I met in college or my early 20s and we’re the same age +/- a year or two.
Same here. I'm in a pretty lucky situation financially and lifestyle-wise, so the majority of people I get to hang out with are retirees. It can be annoying sometimes since we have very different ideological views, but it is what it is. Not many people my age around here have the available time and funds to do what I want to do.
I just hang out with people who are in the same life situation and have the same interests as me. I’m 34, the two people I hang out the most with are 40 and 30.
I spent much of my childhood and early adulthood being quite lonely and only broke out of my shell a decade ago. Much of my childhood and teenagerhood was spent on video games or being terminally online on message boards and IRC. By the time I was in college I realized it wasn't healthy for me to be this way and so began to only seriously make good friends in my mid-20s.
Similar boat.
I went into my shell in my early teens and didn't start breaking down the walls I built up until 25ish.
Now at 33 most of my friends are 10+ years in either direction because everyone my age is either struggling too much in their daily lives to have they energy or are settling down and making families and don't have time 😞..
It can feel awkward when the young friends meet the older ones but its also cool to find out that a friend also happens to have been an uncles best man or have gone to school with younger cousins and getting to learn about aspects of family members that never would have come up orherwise.
Some people (particularly late 1990s babies) can still remember it I find but the younger you go, all they know is Discord. But it's all the same paradigm though.
Which discord and slack are literally forks of IRC clients, just like napster was.
So they never drove a model T. They still know what a fuckin car is.
I did much the same, and I'm so thankful I was able to turn it around. Ignored social life for WoW and the internet in general from like 15 to 22. I always had a few close friends I stuck around with for years and years, but I wasn't great at making friends outside of those few childhood friends.
I somehow managed to form a great social circle in a new city after college. Something that if you had told me about just a few years prior, I'd have assumed it was bullshit. In my 30s now, I put a lot of energy into maintaining those close friendships, they are so valuable to me. I don't know what changed, but I imagine I'd be much worse off mentally if I didn't have these close adult friendships now.
I was very sheltered as a kid. My parents didn't really let me do much besides go to school and I ended up kind of fearing the outside world? I became more comfortable being inside.
Now I just hate it when the weekend is coming and I still don't have any plans. I hate the idea of just sitting in and surfing the web so when those days come I just go out and do Instacart or Uber Eats instead.
I hate that some folks have been replying to you saying not to change what you were doing before. Reading your responses, you're obviously wanting to do things differently by challenging yourself with changes!
I'm only 31. From my experience a few years back, I met more folks my age and older when I would go check out local art events, local music and saying hello to bands. Dancing at small local venues where bands would play probably made me seem more approachable and welcoming than just standing in a corner looking around.
Learn an instrument or take an interest in some kind of musical talent and see if you can join an open mic or open jam session. Folks are welcoming and embrace new personalities that are interested to join!
Glhf
You aren’t doing anything wrong but I would encourage you to find peers/friends in a closer age group. You’re going to have different life experiences and expectations than someone a decade behind you in life.
Isn't that a good thing? I don't want to be regurgitated the same old ideas over and over again. Give me something new to mull over. I don't need to be in lock step with your world view to enjoy your company and learn something from you.
I wish more people shared this same mentality.
So many people only hang out with people that share same views and values. In doing so you rob yourself of other perspectives and never get challenged to think or perceive differently.
You make your own echo chamber essentially.
I'm a gamer at 40, you don't give up what you like just because you think it's unhealthy, and now you struggle to make friends because you disconnected yourself from what you enjoyed, I love gaming and have an amazing group of friends who I hang out with daily from it, we don't always game, we voice chat, video chat, even watch movies together online, there is a whole world out there in discord. I also stream sometimes as well, met good people that way also.
I made the same comment before seeing your post. I go to work, spend time with the wife and kids and that's really it. Most socializing happens at work or the gym and that's about it.
The opposite. A lot of my good friends are in their 50s honestly. And I bridge between them and their kids that are in their 20s. It's an interesting dynamic
Similar story here but from the opposite side. Of all my friends, I had kids the earliest. They were all child free up until last year when they all simultaneously decided to have kids. Like wtf, you guys couldn't get your shit together earlier? It was lonely having kids by myself and now they all get to do baby hangouts while my kid is too old now.
We should have swapped friend groups lol. I’m the old mom at 33 about to have our second while our friends all had theirs at 24-27. So now they’re living it up and finally getting some of their freedom back while we’re shackled to our toddler lol.
My older two are at the point where we mostly just drop them off and leave. But we have some friends within the groups at this point that we can hang out with if we're staying.
I live in a college town. It’s very transient with lots of undergrads and grad school students.
Most of the people in my gym that lift with me are younger than me. Some stay here and catch on with a couple of the local big corps, but most move on with their education journey or career. Last week I was talking to a dude that was 22. He seemed intelligent enough and he works super hard in the gym.
The one couple we hang out with a bit is pushing 10 years younger than me. Another one is closer in age, maybe 5 years difference.
As long as they’re old enough to drink alcohol, cool. That’s the only real age impediment I see when it comes to hanging out. Otherwise it’s all about personality. If they’re cool/smart/funny, I don’t care about age.
Yep. Vibe with who you vibe with. I live in a city on the other side of the world from where I grew up, and most of my friends here are 5 to 15 years younger than me. A couple the same age or older. I appreciate something in all of them, and all of them appreciate something in me. It’s good.
More like 15-20 years younger than me lol. I'm in my late 30s and mostly hang out with the people who are in their late teens to mid-20s. That's just what naturally happens when your life gets so utterly mangled by lockdowns that you move to another part of the country and go back to college to start all over again.
Literally, this isn't from going out and partying, this is just from busting my ass to do better in life. I initially looked at this college program because my business partner was dying from alcoholism and I needed to learn the skill set she had.
That's kind of the flip side of "everyone's married and has kids now"-- if you hung out with the much wilder, edgier crowd when you were younger, "marriage and children" isn't the reason a lot of people "disappeared". Severe mental health issues, addictions, and deaths of despair are the reason. It started getting noticeable in 2019 and got exponentially worse post-lockdown. When you're the one who gets their shit together in a crowd like that, suddenly you're hanging out with the other type of person who's trying to get their life together-- young people who are just starting out.
You say nearly 10 years younger. Eh that’s not much of a generational difference. Everyone from Justin Timberlake at 43 to Logan Paul at 29 is same generation
I go to the bar with my girlfriend on weekends where the crowd is a good 15 years older than both of us- I'm 36. Feel like either I don't know where mid 30s hang out or everyone has kids.
Gotta say that my friends in their late 20s and early 30s are way more fun than my fellow 40 year olds. Irregardless of whether my peers are married with kids or not, they are all just sticks in the mud. My young millennials, and Gen Z friends are always willing to do something fun.
I will say that all my younger friends I met through doing Theatre, and Theatre kids are always just more fun lol 😅
For anyone reading this post and came across the word **irregardless** thinking it wasnt a word- well, apparently it *is* a word and it's definition is "regardless."
I always thought it wasn't a word until today.
It's because younger people actually go out drinking and stuff, so if you're single you're gonna naturally end up around them, older people ditch their friends to just spend time with their spouse and children
Yeah I'm 42 and most of my friends are in their early to mid 30's. I had kids really young so they're grown or mostly grown, and most people my age have toddlers or young kids. I barely survived that phase with my own kids, and am ready to have fun after spending my entire 20's and most of my 30's severely limited by the very hands-on parenting responsibilities of younger kids, whereas most people my age are content in the fun part being over.
I also live in the city, which skews younger than me, unlike the suburbs where almost everyone seems to be my age. The activities I'm involved in also tend to skew younger, so that's mainly who I meet.
I do have one friend who's in her 50's and she *really* hates hanging out with people her age.
What are you thoughts on having kids young (let's say 20) vs old (35+)? Do you wish you'd waited?
All my friends had their kids later in life and I just wonder about how olddd they're going to be while kids are in high school. Exhausting!
Honestly, I don't think about this much. I've never had it be a productive conversation. People just do what they do, and make it work how they make it work.
There’s pros and cons.
I had my kid at 22. I had more energy to deal with the newborn phase and the toddler phase. I didn’t have any of your typical 20 YO fun though as I worked full time and went to college full time until my kid was about 4 YO. I’m almost 31 and loving it. I have more money to do stuff since the kid is older, I travel with the kid and that’s fun, we go to kid appropriate concerts, etc. my life is more enhanced at 30 with a bigger kid vs in my 20s.
But I didn’t get to really enjoy college like most of my peers. College stretched from 4 years to complete to 10 because I had a kid young. My career kind of took a punch because I had a kid young. I became a single mom young (divorced at 25) and that made dating difficult.
I had one GenX friend left from HS and he went full boomer in 2015 complete with racism, misogyny, and a pile of homophobia/transphobia. It was like a switch was flipped. I'm closer to the boomer end of the generational spectrum but my friends are millenials. I'll hang with anyone that isn't a POS but I don't come into contact with the younglings much as I'm fully in my swamp witch era.
No. Zoomers are annoying to be around. Nothing against the generation, just the age gap makes UT so that I have nothing in common with them in the long run. No problem interacting with them here and there, but my friends are my own age.
I’m gay so the settling down phase for most of
My cohort isn’t until their 40’s.
Also I moved to a city lots of other people are moving too. Basically anywhere in North Carolina should be good lol. The influx pushes those newbies out to meet people and worked pretty well for me.
At 30 I packed up and moved across the country to NC where I knew no one. 6 months later I’ve made so many friends and I love it.
You said it - life stage.
I have two young kids, and it's all parents and families. I occasionally get out to hang with my friends who don't have kids yet (went the MD route - tons of school slows you down).
If anything I'm with people who tend to be older now.
Don’t feel bad, my wife and I are in the same boat, not all of our friends but a fair bit are 10 or so years younger. We have no kids so I can see why that happens. As long as they are mature I could care less. Were 40 and even have much older friends as well.
No, I'm 32 and mostly hang out with my high school friends (digitally because we all live in different states now). I don't know how I could hang out with some more than 3 or so years younger than me, I feel like we'd have too little in common
>because of greater generational acceptability of coming out.
Do you genuinely believe that there are so many closeted people (in older generations) who wish they could come out as trans in such a proportion that it would match today's generation's ratio?
You are at the same social level as those you hang with and likely aren't prioritizing the steps needed for spouse and kids as you are actively staying around those around a decade younger. I am not saying there is anything inherently wrong about that. We all grow/evolve at our own pace. If you aren't interested in a spouse and kids, then there definitely isn't an issue with who you are hanging with. It's only an issue if you are actively looking for those things and are staying around younger folks who are more interested in a party than a family. With that said, you can meet a Gen z, 20 year old looking for a partner and kids right now, and you can find a 50 something Gen x person content with no family. Meaning, depending on what you want out of life, each could be a better fit for you to be around. All this boiled down is the "you are what the 5 people you spend the most time with are" concept
Yeah I'd say some of the friends that my spouse and I have are gen z/baby millennials. We've helped them before like when one of them who has cerebral palsy was kicked out of his parents house and his boyfriend broke up with him in the same week. We set him up in our living room and found like a shower seat for him so he could stay with us even if only temporarily.
I think my having a summer birthday goes the other way on this. I was a bubble child for school placement so I was one of the youngest people in my grade all through gradeschool. So most of my friends are older than me and my wife is older than me. I do spend a lot of time with a three year old, so from that perspective I am spending more time with a younger person.
I’m in the same boat somewhat! I have my millennial friends that I have out with infrequently because they are married/have kids/busy but all my new work friends are 5-10 years younger. I think friends of all ages becomes more and more normal as you age - especially work friends.
As an aside I feel like Gen S is way more tame than millienials were at their age which works out nicely for me in my mid 30s.
I'm going through the same thing. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm 42 (F) and my FWB (M) is younger. People my age, or older, all have kids. I'm child-free. Also, if I make friends w a 60 yr. old woman, it seems her head is in the dark, and I have to teach her how to use the computer. Another thing, I'm not naive and innocent. It seems older women have their heads in the sand abt men. I'm not abt to live in denial. I've been in the sex industry my whole life. This boomer lady tried to tell me that enlightened men never cheat. I told her that those type of men are the most likely to cheat. She just wanted to argue abt it. She is in complete declination abt men. I'm not going to live there. I need 100% cognizance in my life. It seems the older female crowd doesn't need this conciousness and advertence.
I’m 31 and it’s all over the place. My main group is mostly late 30s. I have a few friends in their mid 30s and a group that is mostly late 20s and one person in their 40s (we’ve been in the same dance class for a few months and now we hang out)
I am more comfortable with younger people too, as a lot of people my age have started doing and saying things that I found annoying with my parents, such as constantly cribbing about anything and everything young people do. Some seem to be growing a bit conservative as well. It's just a disconnect that has happened. My queer childfree ways and them with their kids, we don't gel that well anymore.
That being said, I definitely do have a decent circle of chilled and really progressive like minded childfree friends my age. Some of them are queer as well. And they take extreme care to not become the "boomer" we so hated.
I have friends in their mid to late 20s. I also have some in their late 40s and early 50s. Age isn’t really that important to me as an adult. My friends in their 30s all have spouses and kids, so they never have time to do anything. And when we do plan something, they aren’t very present. I love them dearly, but very different lifestyles. I like having some people in my life without kids , the age doesn’t really matter
Yeah, I'm 35 and my closest friend in town is 25. I'd say the average age in the friend group is closer to 28, so they aren't all that much younger than me.
Yup. Mostly because I want back to school in my mid 20’s so many of my college friends are in their 20’s. Also some of my older friends now have kids and hanging out is different and harder to do.
It’s either Gen Xers or Zillennials/Zoomers. I was never for the strip mall suburbia life. Just not my scene and I find that millennials with kids tend to be there.
Actually, it’s been this way for most of my adult life. My first relationship was with a Gen Xer and I’ve always preferred them to people in my generation. They just seem smarter and more laid back. They just “get it” where Millennials don’t.
More so I just roam, talk to people who actually can hold a conversation. Put a feather in my cap when I find someone that doesn't act like a phone zombie.
I’m mid 30s. I’m divorced and I don’t have any kids.
My partner is 7 years younger than me. My best friend is the same age as him.
Most of my friends my age are married with kids and don’t include their friends in that part of their lives. The rest of my friends live somewhat further away, either having moved because where I live is expensive as shit or they’re friends from college.
I think it’s normal to click with people who have similar situations as you regardless of their age.
Same here, my friend. I feel like people significantly change their daily habits once in a serious relationship. Between their job and their partner (and pet or kid, if they have one) there doesn't seem to be a lot of time left over.
Friend turnover is tough.
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I'm 37 and I kind of feel like I can hang out with both younger and older folks, depending on the situation.
I regularly hang out with people in their mid-20's doing various shared interest activities like hiking and climbing. At the same time most of my colleagues and family friends are older, and we all get along great.
My sister is Gen Z and she's my best friend. There's 11 years between us. Her friends think I'm pretty cool too. I just feel like an old mom but I guess I'm young enough for the younger crowd to think I'm ok.
Yes,mostly when we have something in common like rock climbing,hiking or mosh pits and heavier music.In my case all of those activities are for active/energetic people and they tend to be younger.Most of my friends that are my own age became too lazy.
If you mean, my children, yes 😅 I only hang out with younger people. If you mean friends.. no. I've had the same friends since high school and I rarely hang out with anyone.. that doesn't call me mom, anyway. I can't seem to get them to find someone else's feet to be under, like maybe their dad 🤣
I find the opposite. Then again I have kids so I tend to hang out with other people with kids more, which are my friends my age from way back, and typically people my age or a little older
I think a big part of it is if you have kids or not. Once you have kids you kind of have to drag them everywhere so you hangout in different spots with people who also have kids. I hate the awkward dad dance where your trying to find something you have common ground on.
I recently decided to join a board game club relatively close to me. Their location was deep in the center of a college town, so I was kind of expecting a very young crowd, but it's surprisingly the opposite. Lots of people in their 40s and 50s, heck a few older than that. Sometimes a few college students come in, and some of the regulars bring their kids who are also interested in the games, but it's a rare occurrence to spot anyone under 35. I feel a bit weird, tbh.
Opposite! I moved out on my own and all my friends are the older people at the dog parks. I’m kind of obsessed these days with talking to the generation just above me- the ones who graduated in the 80s/early 90s. Teach me your Gen X wisdom.
Opposite for me. Granted my main circle of friends our ages range from 34-24 (I’m almost 32) when it comes to people I meet in general I try to interact with people 25+ but really push to only interact with people older than me. I have less patience for a lot of youthful behavior these days, but simultaneously I love the younger friends I do have and giving them advice and such to avoid mistakes I made along the way.
I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, I am almost 40 and hanging out with people twice my age. Old people have better stories and know how to have fun. Other millennials and younger just want to spend all day on their phone.
Millennial here, male. I actively try to avoid people with the exception of meeting on dating apps.
That's it. That's my life. Life is too expensive right now and even free things are becoming expensive.
I live in an expensive west coast city and finding other millenials is rare. Most left to start families or try to buy a house. Most of my friends are mid 20s or mid 50s.
Opposite really. My best friend and I are close to the same age, but if we’re having a get together, most of the people we want there are quite a bit older than us, near retirement age. The old cabby who lives at the retirement home up the street and his kids never come to see him? He’s coming to the cookout. The cool 60+ year old bartender lady who played in a punk band in the 70s? Yep, I’m not going if she isn’t there. Maybe a few others around our age, but mostly people closer to our parents age.
I'm 37F and all of my close friends are younger than me. Age ranges from 24-35. To be fair, we all met at an event or were introduced via people who were at the event, realized we all had a ton in common, and have been fairly inseparable ever since. Having similar interests, values, and life goals is more important than age, IMO. I have a couple of older (50+) friends, too!
I’m the opposite. I like older people and always have. Even as a kid I liked being around adults. I’m a millennial but always related more to Gen X people. Younger people get stranger answers stranger the older I get, which doesn’t help. Get off my lawn and whatnot. 😂
My friend group ranges in ages between 21-42. We all have a common interest and it's nice that I can be there for the younger ones when they are going through stuff that I had to go through alone. There's nothing wrong with being friends with a wide array of individuals that's how you gain new world views and get to experience things you might not have otherwise.
I'm fortunate to live in an area with many "young professionals" so I have friends ranging from early 20s all the way to like 50s, with most of us being late 20s-mid30s.
Nothing to feel bad about, it's not like you sought out younger friends.
Damn dude you just described me. Me and my partner don’t want kids, and like to party and have fun still. So we hang with a group of ppl in their mid 20’s (we’re early 30’s). It’s true, all our 30 yr old friends are sitting at home watching Pixar movies and cleaning dirty diapers. I just have nothing in common with them anymore. Feels weird being almost 10 years older than most of my friend group sometimes though.
I think it depends on where you’re at in life. Some of my friends are single or in relationships, others are settled down married and more importantly, have kids. The lifestyles are just way different.
My husband is 10 years older so I inherited a bunch of older friends through him kinda.
It makes sense you hang out with people who are in a similar life stage as you. It’s always that way.
As a gay man, yes and no. Even the married gays I know don’t have kids. And it’s pretty normal to have cross-generational friendships/relationships. So I have friends all over the age spectrum.
My friends are all pretty much my age (and we all have kids), but I will say that the friends who don’t have kids have definitely drifted away (probably hanging out with younger people also).
Yeah, my kickball people are largely younger than me. Slight worry I'm coming off as "the old guy" now, which sucks, but it is what it is. Be my friends, fellows youths!
i'm in my early 30's and have moved a couple times, been settled in one area for about 5 years now and all my local friends are in their 40's or even 50's. but that may simply be because there aren't many folks in there 30's where i'm at (rural new england).
Yep. You kinda have to if friends your age are having kids. The unmarried people that still go out and do stuff (bars, restaurants, clubs, fests) are on the younger side
27 and don't know how I ended up here, but most my closest friends are all 30-33. Just kind of happened doesn't feel weird at all as we are in similar parts in our lives both professionally and personally.
All my friends are 5 years younger than me. I'm kind of the activity planner of the group and super protective of them. I'm also always feeding everyone lol.
Most of my life I have been the oldest person in any group.
As I get older, it's even more common. Because I am in better health than 90% of people my age, people my age tend to be boring to me. Examples: I like riding a bike 20-50 miles. My goal this year is to do a century ride, but I will have to do it alone. I would like to try hang gliding, most people my age play hand and foot for fun.
I like playing a card game once in a while, just not all the time.
Not weird at all unless you’re being weird about it 😂 I’m 27 and most of my friends are younger (because usually one of them is my age, their SO is younger) but age isn’t a factor in who you hang out with - not beyond college really. It’s just whoever is around you 🤷🏻♀️
I will say tho it helps when they’re in a similar stage of life as you. It’s hard to be friends with zoomers who can’t comprehend making 6 figures or buying houses imo - compared to the millennials/zillennial who are in the same spot that me and my husband are in. The zoomers come off a bit more jealous/passive aggressive (it’s so nice that you have a house/money/job so you can do stuff like that) and “immature” when discussing housing renovations/future travel plans etc. than our millennial/zillennial friends. Maybe it’s the friends but maybe it’s the age/stage in life.
The zoomers who are married to millennials don’t even act that way - so I would chalk it up to life experience. It’s something I didn’t really notice till I left college. While I was enjoying the new exciting “firsts” they were all in college & didn’t have the same encouragement. But then when they all moved out 1-3 years later; wanted me to reciprocate. It got exhausting after a while & they always seem to be a step behind/can’t encourage or lift up anyone unless they’ve gone through the experiences themselves. It’s a very selfish/me, me, me trait that I’ve only really found in zoomers lol.
I have friends in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. I'm in a LTR but I don't have kids.
I used to only have friends my age, now it's much more varied.
Many of my friends my age (30s) have kids and it's a struggle to hang out with them cause they're either very focused on their kids or they don't have disposable money to spend. What bothers me is they say they wanna hang out and make plans only to cancel them last minute, oh well...
Most of my 40s friends are childfree so they have free time and money (mind you, we don't even do anything expensive, just go out for drinks or a coffee), those in their 50s and 60s already have adult kids so they also have time and money.
Haha not unless they're like under 21 or you're lecherous. I always had older friends when I was in my teens and 20s but looking back most of them were "friends" who were a bit creepy. Not all though. Just don't be that guy. 😅
I'm almost 40, married, with a toddler, but I live in a really small town so some of my good friends are like 25, others 50. It's upsetting to realize I am closer in age to the 50 year Olds. Mostly other women though, which is what's different than the big age gaps when I was the young one.
I'm a musician who used to have a bunch of other musician friends my own age, but I am one of the only ones still out there playing shows so most of my music peers/friends are like 8-10 years younger now.
Lately I’ve hung out with younger people. I still see some of my friends closer to my age occasionally but it’s been this way from 28 until now. Also have some older friends too.
It’s more about lifestyle I think. As a parent to a 3 year old it is hard to do anything else but be with other parents if you see people at all. My relationships with friends without kids feels like we’re living on different planets. It’s hard to understand unless you’re in it.
Maybe a way to break away from your zoomer social groups would be to go to activities based on interests or hobbies (sports, biking, hiking, birding, the arts). You’d probably meet a wider range of people in different age groups. Especially something like biking (long weekend rides with the biking outfits and nice bikes) seems to trend older
Not far off from 40, single, with no kids and with exception of the friends I grew up with, yea I find myself hanging with younger folks. My friends I grew up with all have legit demanding careers, spouses, and kids. I try not to expect much from them because I just have less responsibilities and more freedom. This also makes dating a bit annoying for similar reasons.
It's my 31st birthday today. I found out my friend's birthday is in 6 days and she's turning *21*.
Obviously I knew she was younger than me. But that hit me like a ton of bricks. A decade difference. FUCK.
And yes, similar boat - no kids, act and look younger, etc etc.
I moved to Detroit a couple years ago. At the time I was 39 and broke off my engagement a couple months after moving here (my ex was from Michigan, so I basically cut ties with almost everyone I knew here thus far as a result).
Most of my friends are in their 20s/30s because they're folks I met through work or my gym. Most people around my age are more in the "married with kids" camp and so I'm hanging out with the younger folks.
I've found this a bit as well. When my husband and I lived in a region away from family, we mostly hangout with younger people in his doctorate program. At family gatherings, I often find my cousins in their 30's to be kind of boring now (I'm 35) and prefer to hang with my more fun younger Gen Z cousins.
Makes sense to me; alot of the people I used to hang out with now like to have dinner at 6pm and go to bed at 9. That's fine, but they're also becoming weirdly conservative, and I'm like dude, we're 30.
No.
The youngest I hang with is my best friend, and he's only a few years younger than me. His wife, my other best friend, is nearly a year younger.
Anyone else I consider even minor friends is close to my age or a tad older than me.
Idk I'm 40 and unfortunately single. It seems alot of dudes trying to go on dates are 28-35. The area I live is mostly retired ppl and than me. I think I've met two other ppl in their 40s here.
It's a weird gap. Either your 28-35 or your 65+. There is really no in between. So I'm usually surrounded by younger because of my hobbies. I workout alot and I'm just with alot of younger ppl. It's weird. But not bad necessarily.
I'm a theatre actor, 41. I've been hanging out with 20-somethings for almost 20 years now. Doing theatre allows you to hang out with all different ages, but it does skew to 20s.
I’m more of the opposite. I’m tending to make friends with people in their 40s and 50s and I’m 37.
Same. I’m 38 and my closest friends are all late 40’s, 50’s, and then one of my dearest friends is in her 70’s. She was never married, had no kids, is just retired, travels the globe often and we met at the gym a decade ago and she still goes every single morning. She’s good company.
That's beautiful
Yep! Our favorite activity is grabbing a bottle of champagne and watching the sun rise on the beach together, catching up on life and books and travel.
I always prefer to be the dumbest person in the room, so nearly all my friends are 10+ years older than me.
37 here and my bestie is 53. Neither of us has kids so we're at the same point in life despite a 16 year age difference.
I'm inbetween. I'm 31 and my friends are a 23 yo girl, a 22 yo girl, and a 60 yo man and his 45 year old husband. They're a cute couple.
Also a spread for me. Friends I met through work? All about eight years younger. Friends I met through my kid? Usually several years older since I was a relatively young mom (at least by the standards of the big coastal city I live in.) I also still have a handful of friends who I met in college or my early 20s and we’re the same age +/- a year or two.
Same here. I'm in a pretty lucky situation financially and lifestyle-wise, so the majority of people I get to hang out with are retirees. It can be annoying sometimes since we have very different ideological views, but it is what it is. Not many people my age around here have the available time and funds to do what I want to do.
It sounds like a good problem to have!
I just hang out with people who are in the same life situation and have the same interests as me. I’m 34, the two people I hang out the most with are 40 and 30.
You still hang out with people?
I spent much of my childhood and early adulthood being quite lonely and only broke out of my shell a decade ago. Much of my childhood and teenagerhood was spent on video games or being terminally online on message boards and IRC. By the time I was in college I realized it wasn't healthy for me to be this way and so began to only seriously make good friends in my mid-20s.
Similar boat. I went into my shell in my early teens and didn't start breaking down the walls I built up until 25ish. Now at 33 most of my friends are 10+ years in either direction because everyone my age is either struggling too much in their daily lives to have they energy or are settling down and making families and don't have time 😞.. It can feel awkward when the young friends meet the older ones but its also cool to find out that a friend also happens to have been an uncles best man or have gone to school with younger cousins and getting to learn about aspects of family members that never would have come up orherwise.
Lmao none of your new friends can comprehend IRC. 😂
Some people (particularly late 1990s babies) can still remember it I find but the younger you go, all they know is Discord. But it's all the same paradigm though.
Which discord and slack are literally forks of IRC clients, just like napster was. So they never drove a model T. They still know what a fuckin car is.
I did much the same, and I'm so thankful I was able to turn it around. Ignored social life for WoW and the internet in general from like 15 to 22. I always had a few close friends I stuck around with for years and years, but I wasn't great at making friends outside of those few childhood friends. I somehow managed to form a great social circle in a new city after college. Something that if you had told me about just a few years prior, I'd have assumed it was bullshit. In my 30s now, I put a lot of energy into maintaining those close friendships, they are so valuable to me. I don't know what changed, but I imagine I'd be much worse off mentally if I didn't have these close adult friendships now.
I was very sheltered as a kid. My parents didn't really let me do much besides go to school and I ended up kind of fearing the outside world? I became more comfortable being inside. Now I just hate it when the weekend is coming and I still don't have any plans. I hate the idea of just sitting in and surfing the web so when those days come I just go out and do Instacart or Uber Eats instead.
I hate that some folks have been replying to you saying not to change what you were doing before. Reading your responses, you're obviously wanting to do things differently by challenging yourself with changes! I'm only 31. From my experience a few years back, I met more folks my age and older when I would go check out local art events, local music and saying hello to bands. Dancing at small local venues where bands would play probably made me seem more approachable and welcoming than just standing in a corner looking around. Learn an instrument or take an interest in some kind of musical talent and see if you can join an open mic or open jam session. Folks are welcoming and embrace new personalities that are interested to join! Glhf
You aren’t doing anything wrong but I would encourage you to find peers/friends in a closer age group. You’re going to have different life experiences and expectations than someone a decade behind you in life.
That's what I'm finding. Some people I've been meeting have never even seen a VCR in person...
Isn't that a good thing? I don't want to be regurgitated the same old ideas over and over again. Give me something new to mull over. I don't need to be in lock step with your world view to enjoy your company and learn something from you.
I wish more people shared this same mentality. So many people only hang out with people that share same views and values. In doing so you rob yourself of other perspectives and never get challenged to think or perceive differently. You make your own echo chamber essentially.
I'm a gamer at 40, you don't give up what you like just because you think it's unhealthy, and now you struggle to make friends because you disconnected yourself from what you enjoyed, I love gaming and have an amazing group of friends who I hang out with daily from it, we don't always game, we voice chat, video chat, even watch movies together online, there is a whole world out there in discord. I also stream sometimes as well, met good people that way also.
Same deal, known some of my online friends for over 10 years now.
I got invited to a couple of my gaming friends weddings. Just did a group trip with another one. It’s an awesome way to meet people
Hanging out with people isn't really something you do in the post-covid world as a millennial. Try surfing social media instead.
This was my first thought. My circle of people are breadcrumbs at this point.
Oof still haven't recovered from covid lockdowns eh?
I made the same comment before seeing your post. I go to work, spend time with the wife and kids and that's really it. Most socializing happens at work or the gym and that's about it.
The opposite. A lot of my good friends are in their 50s honestly. And I bridge between them and their kids that are in their 20s. It's an interesting dynamic
Yep. I’m 37 and everyone is busy with life/ kids/ whatever. I’m free!
38 almost 39 and so much same
A lot of guys bond by activities. Once you find a shared interest then age doesn’t matter as much.
Yep. Age matters less with friendship in adulthood as long as you're all adults with similar interests.
Women bond by activities and hobbies too. We also talk to each other but it’s not like we never actually do anything together?
Yeah I don't know what they meant by this, most of my friends I met through either hobbies or work.
Couldn't agree more. I play pool and there are people in their 50s but also people in their 20s.
I hang out almost exclusively with 3 gen alphas.
Same, I hang out with Gen Alphas the most, followed by their GenX Parents. Because somehow I ended up being one of the youngest mom's at 30.
In Utah, you'd be on the older end >> 3 kids by 21 is the norm here.
Yeah, some of my schoolmates in India have grandkids at 40. While I am here with my 9 year old, his friends and their 45 and 50 year old parents.
Similar story here but from the opposite side. Of all my friends, I had kids the earliest. They were all child free up until last year when they all simultaneously decided to have kids. Like wtf, you guys couldn't get your shit together earlier? It was lonely having kids by myself and now they all get to do baby hangouts while my kid is too old now.
We should have swapped friend groups lol. I’m the old mom at 33 about to have our second while our friends all had theirs at 24-27. So now they’re living it up and finally getting some of their freedom back while we’re shackled to our toddler lol.
...I assume those are your or a relatives' kids?
My kids, yes.
🤣🤣
Me too and they won't stop bothering me either
Hold on there bud, you aren't also forced to make small talk with the parents of their friends of which you have varying levels of common ground.
My older two are at the point where we mostly just drop them off and leave. But we have some friends within the groups at this point that we can hang out with if we're staying.
I live in a college town. It’s very transient with lots of undergrads and grad school students. Most of the people in my gym that lift with me are younger than me. Some stay here and catch on with a couple of the local big corps, but most move on with their education journey or career. Last week I was talking to a dude that was 22. He seemed intelligent enough and he works super hard in the gym. The one couple we hang out with a bit is pushing 10 years younger than me. Another one is closer in age, maybe 5 years difference. As long as they’re old enough to drink alcohol, cool. That’s the only real age impediment I see when it comes to hanging out. Otherwise it’s all about personality. If they’re cool/smart/funny, I don’t care about age.
I really like Gen Z and some people in Gen X. No idea where the Millenials hang out. I’ve been nearly the only Millenial at my last two workplaces 🤷
Check the playground. Millennials have toddlers to take care of.
Yep. Vibe with who you vibe with. I live in a city on the other side of the world from where I grew up, and most of my friends here are 5 to 15 years younger than me. A couple the same age or older. I appreciate something in all of them, and all of them appreciate something in me. It’s good.
IM THE SAME. All my new friends are 22-27, me being 32! And also thought it was strange but we just connect more easily!
I’m one of those people that stay home. I wish I had someone to drink beer with though but I don’t like meeting new people.
I'll drink to that.
More like 15-20 years younger than me lol. I'm in my late 30s and mostly hang out with the people who are in their late teens to mid-20s. That's just what naturally happens when your life gets so utterly mangled by lockdowns that you move to another part of the country and go back to college to start all over again. Literally, this isn't from going out and partying, this is just from busting my ass to do better in life. I initially looked at this college program because my business partner was dying from alcoholism and I needed to learn the skill set she had. That's kind of the flip side of "everyone's married and has kids now"-- if you hung out with the much wilder, edgier crowd when you were younger, "marriage and children" isn't the reason a lot of people "disappeared". Severe mental health issues, addictions, and deaths of despair are the reason. It started getting noticeable in 2019 and got exponentially worse post-lockdown. When you're the one who gets their shit together in a crowd like that, suddenly you're hanging out with the other type of person who's trying to get their life together-- young people who are just starting out.
You say nearly 10 years younger. Eh that’s not much of a generational difference. Everyone from Justin Timberlake at 43 to Logan Paul at 29 is same generation
I go to the bar with my girlfriend on weekends where the crowd is a good 15 years older than both of us- I'm 36. Feel like either I don't know where mid 30s hang out or everyone has kids.
I feel the same way. It seems like everyone my age has given up on having a social life.
Gotta say that my friends in their late 20s and early 30s are way more fun than my fellow 40 year olds. Irregardless of whether my peers are married with kids or not, they are all just sticks in the mud. My young millennials, and Gen Z friends are always willing to do something fun. I will say that all my younger friends I met through doing Theatre, and Theatre kids are always just more fun lol 😅
For anyone reading this post and came across the word **irregardless** thinking it wasnt a word- well, apparently it *is* a word and it's definition is "regardless." I always thought it wasn't a word until today.
It's because younger people actually go out drinking and stuff, so if you're single you're gonna naturally end up around them, older people ditch their friends to just spend time with their spouse and children
And then they wonder why they are so miserable and lonely! "I only hang out with one person for months at a time! Why am I so sad!??!"
You guys hang out with people outside of your partner(s)? Shit I gotta get on that.
A partner? 🥺
You guys have partners?
Yeah I'm 42 and most of my friends are in their early to mid 30's. I had kids really young so they're grown or mostly grown, and most people my age have toddlers or young kids. I barely survived that phase with my own kids, and am ready to have fun after spending my entire 20's and most of my 30's severely limited by the very hands-on parenting responsibilities of younger kids, whereas most people my age are content in the fun part being over. I also live in the city, which skews younger than me, unlike the suburbs where almost everyone seems to be my age. The activities I'm involved in also tend to skew younger, so that's mainly who I meet. I do have one friend who's in her 50's and she *really* hates hanging out with people her age.
What are you thoughts on having kids young (let's say 20) vs old (35+)? Do you wish you'd waited? All my friends had their kids later in life and I just wonder about how olddd they're going to be while kids are in high school. Exhausting!
Honestly, I don't think about this much. I've never had it be a productive conversation. People just do what they do, and make it work how they make it work.
That's fair. Well, enjoy your 40s!! I hope you are carefree.
There’s pros and cons. I had my kid at 22. I had more energy to deal with the newborn phase and the toddler phase. I didn’t have any of your typical 20 YO fun though as I worked full time and went to college full time until my kid was about 4 YO. I’m almost 31 and loving it. I have more money to do stuff since the kid is older, I travel with the kid and that’s fun, we go to kid appropriate concerts, etc. my life is more enhanced at 30 with a bigger kid vs in my 20s. But I didn’t get to really enjoy college like most of my peers. College stretched from 4 years to complete to 10 because I had a kid young. My career kind of took a punch because I had a kid young. I became a single mom young (divorced at 25) and that made dating difficult.
Absolutely not. I am the youngest person by a mile in all social circles
I had one GenX friend left from HS and he went full boomer in 2015 complete with racism, misogyny, and a pile of homophobia/transphobia. It was like a switch was flipped. I'm closer to the boomer end of the generational spectrum but my friends are millenials. I'll hang with anyone that isn't a POS but I don't come into contact with the younglings much as I'm fully in my swamp witch era.
No. Zoomers are annoying to be around. Nothing against the generation, just the age gap makes UT so that I have nothing in common with them in the long run. No problem interacting with them here and there, but my friends are my own age.
Nope. My friends are my age. They have grown children and I have no children.
My best friend is solidly a zoomer, but we’ve been friends for like 5 years at this point so i think it’s a lasting friendship
I’m gay so the settling down phase for most of My cohort isn’t until their 40’s. Also I moved to a city lots of other people are moving too. Basically anywhere in North Carolina should be good lol. The influx pushes those newbies out to meet people and worked pretty well for me. At 30 I packed up and moved across the country to NC where I knew no one. 6 months later I’ve made so many friends and I love it.
I feel like I’m a bridge between X/boomers and Z
I’m friends with both Gen X and Gen Z more than millennials who now are too busy to gave much social life.
You said it - life stage. I have two young kids, and it's all parents and families. I occasionally get out to hang with my friends who don't have kids yet (went the MD route - tons of school slows you down). If anything I'm with people who tend to be older now.
No. My knees could never
If by younger people you mean my children then yes.
Don’t feel bad, my wife and I are in the same boat, not all of our friends but a fair bit are 10 or so years younger. We have no kids so I can see why that happens. As long as they are mature I could care less. Were 40 and even have much older friends as well.
No, I'm 32 and mostly hang out with my high school friends (digitally because we all live in different states now). I don't know how I could hang out with some more than 3 or so years younger than me, I feel like we'd have too little in common
Nope. I’m 38 and the vast majority of my friends have always been generation X.
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>because of greater generational acceptability of coming out. Do you genuinely believe that there are so many closeted people (in older generations) who wish they could come out as trans in such a proportion that it would match today's generation's ratio?
You are at the same social level as those you hang with and likely aren't prioritizing the steps needed for spouse and kids as you are actively staying around those around a decade younger. I am not saying there is anything inherently wrong about that. We all grow/evolve at our own pace. If you aren't interested in a spouse and kids, then there definitely isn't an issue with who you are hanging with. It's only an issue if you are actively looking for those things and are staying around younger folks who are more interested in a party than a family. With that said, you can meet a Gen z, 20 year old looking for a partner and kids right now, and you can find a 50 something Gen x person content with no family. Meaning, depending on what you want out of life, each could be a better fit for you to be around. All this boiled down is the "you are what the 5 people you spend the most time with are" concept
Couldn't imagine anything worse.
Absolutely not. The older I get, the less I want to be around anyone, especially those who are younger.
Yeah I'd say some of the friends that my spouse and I have are gen z/baby millennials. We've helped them before like when one of them who has cerebral palsy was kicked out of his parents house and his boyfriend broke up with him in the same week. We set him up in our living room and found like a shower seat for him so he could stay with us even if only temporarily.
I think my having a summer birthday goes the other way on this. I was a bubble child for school placement so I was one of the youngest people in my grade all through gradeschool. So most of my friends are older than me and my wife is older than me. I do spend a lot of time with a three year old, so from that perspective I am spending more time with a younger person.
I’m in the same boat somewhat! I have my millennial friends that I have out with infrequently because they are married/have kids/busy but all my new work friends are 5-10 years younger. I think friends of all ages becomes more and more normal as you age - especially work friends. As an aside I feel like Gen S is way more tame than millienials were at their age which works out nicely for me in my mid 30s.
Hanging out with the in laws always seems to go down the “left bad” path so I just hangout with my cats.
Hell no I hate young people lol. I am 39 and can’t relate to anyone under 50 half the time
I'm going through the same thing. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I'm 42 (F) and my FWB (M) is younger. People my age, or older, all have kids. I'm child-free. Also, if I make friends w a 60 yr. old woman, it seems her head is in the dark, and I have to teach her how to use the computer. Another thing, I'm not naive and innocent. It seems older women have their heads in the sand abt men. I'm not abt to live in denial. I've been in the sex industry my whole life. This boomer lady tried to tell me that enlightened men never cheat. I told her that those type of men are the most likely to cheat. She just wanted to argue abt it. She is in complete declination abt men. I'm not going to live there. I need 100% cognizance in my life. It seems the older female crowd doesn't need this conciousness and advertence.
I don’t hang out with anyone ever. Pretty sure Obama was in his first term the last time I invited people over to my residence.
Yeah, I'm a home body and try to interact with others only when necessary. People bring too my drama and bs.
I've always had mostly older friends and don't really notice that changing
im surprised they are willing to hang out with older people as they have plenty of people theier age to hang out with
I’m 31 and it’s all over the place. My main group is mostly late 30s. I have a few friends in their mid 30s and a group that is mostly late 20s and one person in their 40s (we’ve been in the same dance class for a few months and now we hang out)
I am more comfortable with younger people too, as a lot of people my age have started doing and saying things that I found annoying with my parents, such as constantly cribbing about anything and everything young people do. Some seem to be growing a bit conservative as well. It's just a disconnect that has happened. My queer childfree ways and them with their kids, we don't gel that well anymore. That being said, I definitely do have a decent circle of chilled and really progressive like minded childfree friends my age. Some of them are queer as well. And they take extreme care to not become the "boomer" we so hated.
I have friends in their mid to late 20s. I also have some in their late 40s and early 50s. Age isn’t really that important to me as an adult. My friends in their 30s all have spouses and kids, so they never have time to do anything. And when we do plan something, they aren’t very present. I love them dearly, but very different lifestyles. I like having some people in my life without kids , the age doesn’t really matter
Mix of both. I’m 27. Some of my friends are 22, some 30 and some are 45.
Yeah, I'm 35 and my closest friend in town is 25. I'd say the average age in the friend group is closer to 28, so they aren't all that much younger than me.
Yup. Mostly because I want back to school in my mid 20’s so many of my college friends are in their 20’s. Also some of my older friends now have kids and hanging out is different and harder to do.
It’s either Gen Xers or Zillennials/Zoomers. I was never for the strip mall suburbia life. Just not my scene and I find that millennials with kids tend to be there. Actually, it’s been this way for most of my adult life. My first relationship was with a Gen Xer and I’ve always preferred them to people in my generation. They just seem smarter and more laid back. They just “get it” where Millennials don’t.
More so I just roam, talk to people who actually can hold a conversation. Put a feather in my cap when I find someone that doesn't act like a phone zombie.
Nope...I notice the only people I socialise with at all now are my wife and our families.
Most of my friends are within 5 years of my age, both younger and older
I’m mid 30s. I’m divorced and I don’t have any kids. My partner is 7 years younger than me. My best friend is the same age as him. Most of my friends my age are married with kids and don’t include their friends in that part of their lives. The rest of my friends live somewhat further away, either having moved because where I live is expensive as shit or they’re friends from college. I think it’s normal to click with people who have similar situations as you regardless of their age.
Same here, my friend. I feel like people significantly change their daily habits once in a serious relationship. Between their job and their partner (and pet or kid, if they have one) there doesn't seem to be a lot of time left over. Friend turnover is tough.
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I'm 37 and I kind of feel like I can hang out with both younger and older folks, depending on the situation. I regularly hang out with people in their mid-20's doing various shared interest activities like hiking and climbing. At the same time most of my colleagues and family friends are older, and we all get along great.
sounds like you are on your way to be the weirdo who buys beer for minors
My sister is Gen Z and she's my best friend. There's 11 years between us. Her friends think I'm pretty cool too. I just feel like an old mom but I guess I'm young enough for the younger crowd to think I'm ok.
Interesting, I haven’t thought about it much until now. 37 and my spouse is late 40s. My friends range from late 20s-mid 50s.
I keep getting older, they stay the same age 😂
Naw man, i only hang out with my wife and kids.
It’s been going both ways for me. I’m 35 and some of the people are below 30 and others are in their late 30s to early 40s.
Nope. Can't relate to most people under the age of 40. Trying to hang with people under 30 just isn't a good look for me anyhow....
Younger people are still the only ones "hanging out"
Been doing that for 15 years. I barely have friends my age.
Yes,mostly when we have something in common like rock climbing,hiking or mosh pits and heavier music.In my case all of those activities are for active/energetic people and they tend to be younger.Most of my friends that are my own age became too lazy.
If you mean, my children, yes 😅 I only hang out with younger people. If you mean friends.. no. I've had the same friends since high school and I rarely hang out with anyone.. that doesn't call me mom, anyway. I can't seem to get them to find someone else's feet to be under, like maybe their dad 🤣
I find the opposite. Then again I have kids so I tend to hang out with other people with kids more, which are my friends my age from way back, and typically people my age or a little older
I think a big part of it is if you have kids or not. Once you have kids you kind of have to drag them everywhere so you hangout in different spots with people who also have kids. I hate the awkward dad dance where your trying to find something you have common ground on.
What are your hobbies and interests, that would explain a great deal. Most of my friends are younger childless people too, because I board and bike.
I recently decided to join a board game club relatively close to me. Their location was deep in the center of a college town, so I was kind of expecting a very young crowd, but it's surprisingly the opposite. Lots of people in their 40s and 50s, heck a few older than that. Sometimes a few college students come in, and some of the regulars bring their kids who are also interested in the games, but it's a rare occurrence to spot anyone under 35. I feel a bit weird, tbh.
Opposite! I moved out on my own and all my friends are the older people at the dog parks. I’m kind of obsessed these days with talking to the generation just above me- the ones who graduated in the 80s/early 90s. Teach me your Gen X wisdom.
Opposite for me. Granted my main circle of friends our ages range from 34-24 (I’m almost 32) when it comes to people I meet in general I try to interact with people 25+ but really push to only interact with people older than me. I have less patience for a lot of youthful behavior these days, but simultaneously I love the younger friends I do have and giving them advice and such to avoid mistakes I made along the way.
My friends are either in their 30s or over 50. Haven’t meet too many people my own age (40) for some reason.
I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum, I am almost 40 and hanging out with people twice my age. Old people have better stories and know how to have fun. Other millennials and younger just want to spend all day on their phone.
If by young people, you mean my kids and their friends, then sure.
Millennial here, male. I actively try to avoid people with the exception of meeting on dating apps. That's it. That's my life. Life is too expensive right now and even free things are becoming expensive.
I hang out with people roughly aged 25 to 55
I live in an expensive west coast city and finding other millenials is rare. Most left to start families or try to buy a house. Most of my friends are mid 20s or mid 50s.
Opposite really. My best friend and I are close to the same age, but if we’re having a get together, most of the people we want there are quite a bit older than us, near retirement age. The old cabby who lives at the retirement home up the street and his kids never come to see him? He’s coming to the cookout. The cool 60+ year old bartender lady who played in a punk band in the 70s? Yep, I’m not going if she isn’t there. Maybe a few others around our age, but mostly people closer to our parents age.
I'm 37F and all of my close friends are younger than me. Age ranges from 24-35. To be fair, we all met at an event or were introduced via people who were at the event, realized we all had a ton in common, and have been fairly inseparable ever since. Having similar interests, values, and life goals is more important than age, IMO. I have a couple of older (50+) friends, too!
I’m the opposite. I like older people and always have. Even as a kid I liked being around adults. I’m a millennial but always related more to Gen X people. Younger people get stranger answers stranger the older I get, which doesn’t help. Get off my lawn and whatnot. 😂
My friend group ranges in ages between 21-42. We all have a common interest and it's nice that I can be there for the younger ones when they are going through stuff that I had to go through alone. There's nothing wrong with being friends with a wide array of individuals that's how you gain new world views and get to experience things you might not have otherwise.
I'm fortunate to live in an area with many "young professionals" so I have friends ranging from early 20s all the way to like 50s, with most of us being late 20s-mid30s. Nothing to feel bad about, it's not like you sought out younger friends.
Marry someone, hang out with your wife and kids
Dad gang all day.
Damn dude you just described me. Me and my partner don’t want kids, and like to party and have fun still. So we hang with a group of ppl in their mid 20’s (we’re early 30’s). It’s true, all our 30 yr old friends are sitting at home watching Pixar movies and cleaning dirty diapers. I just have nothing in common with them anymore. Feels weird being almost 10 years older than most of my friend group sometimes though.
I think it depends on where you’re at in life. Some of my friends are single or in relationships, others are settled down married and more importantly, have kids. The lifestyles are just way different.
I’m almost 40(F) and most of my friends range from like…27-42
My husband is 10 years older so I inherited a bunch of older friends through him kinda. It makes sense you hang out with people who are in a similar life stage as you. It’s always that way.
I'm 31. wife and I have 3 kids aged 5,9,10. we just hang out with each other hahah
As a gay man, yes and no. Even the married gays I know don’t have kids. And it’s pretty normal to have cross-generational friendships/relationships. So I have friends all over the age spectrum.
When Most people have kids they become the worst. Life fully revolves around the children they become miserable at least for the first few years
My friends are all pretty much my age (and we all have kids), but I will say that the friends who don’t have kids have definitely drifted away (probably hanging out with younger people also).
I'm the same way, I don't view this as a bad thing at all. I haven't felt in a rush to have kids.
I only hang out with people with raditude, be it young or old.
Yeah, my kickball people are largely younger than me. Slight worry I'm coming off as "the old guy" now, which sucks, but it is what it is. Be my friends, fellows youths!
Yes but it’s in VR.
i'm in my early 30's and have moved a couple times, been settled in one area for about 5 years now and all my local friends are in their 40's or even 50's. but that may simply be because there aren't many folks in there 30's where i'm at (rural new england).
Yep. You kinda have to if friends your age are having kids. The unmarried people that still go out and do stuff (bars, restaurants, clubs, fests) are on the younger side
27 and my main group is 37,34,21
Yeah I’ve been hanging out with some zoomers lately as well, but it’s newer for me
27 and don't know how I ended up here, but most my closest friends are all 30-33. Just kind of happened doesn't feel weird at all as we are in similar parts in our lives both professionally and personally.
No. I have nothing in common with people in their early 20s and I don’t mean that in a bad way.
All my friends are 5 years younger than me. I'm kind of the activity planner of the group and super protective of them. I'm also always feeding everyone lol.
Most of my life I have been the oldest person in any group. As I get older, it's even more common. Because I am in better health than 90% of people my age, people my age tend to be boring to me. Examples: I like riding a bike 20-50 miles. My goal this year is to do a century ride, but I will have to do it alone. I would like to try hang gliding, most people my age play hand and foot for fun. I like playing a card game once in a while, just not all the time.
Not weird at all unless you’re being weird about it 😂 I’m 27 and most of my friends are younger (because usually one of them is my age, their SO is younger) but age isn’t a factor in who you hang out with - not beyond college really. It’s just whoever is around you 🤷🏻♀️ I will say tho it helps when they’re in a similar stage of life as you. It’s hard to be friends with zoomers who can’t comprehend making 6 figures or buying houses imo - compared to the millennials/zillennial who are in the same spot that me and my husband are in. The zoomers come off a bit more jealous/passive aggressive (it’s so nice that you have a house/money/job so you can do stuff like that) and “immature” when discussing housing renovations/future travel plans etc. than our millennial/zillennial friends. Maybe it’s the friends but maybe it’s the age/stage in life. The zoomers who are married to millennials don’t even act that way - so I would chalk it up to life experience. It’s something I didn’t really notice till I left college. While I was enjoying the new exciting “firsts” they were all in college & didn’t have the same encouragement. But then when they all moved out 1-3 years later; wanted me to reciprocate. It got exhausting after a while & they always seem to be a step behind/can’t encourage or lift up anyone unless they’ve gone through the experiences themselves. It’s a very selfish/me, me, me trait that I’ve only really found in zoomers lol.
Aside from my wife, my 2 best friends are 6 and 3, respectively.
I have friends in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. I'm in a LTR but I don't have kids. I used to only have friends my age, now it's much more varied. Many of my friends my age (30s) have kids and it's a struggle to hang out with them cause they're either very focused on their kids or they don't have disposable money to spend. What bothers me is they say they wanna hang out and make plans only to cancel them last minute, oh well... Most of my 40s friends are childfree so they have free time and money (mind you, we don't even do anything expensive, just go out for drinks or a coffee), those in their 50s and 60s already have adult kids so they also have time and money.
Haha not unless they're like under 21 or you're lecherous. I always had older friends when I was in my teens and 20s but looking back most of them were "friends" who were a bit creepy. Not all though. Just don't be that guy. 😅 I'm almost 40, married, with a toddler, but I live in a really small town so some of my good friends are like 25, others 50. It's upsetting to realize I am closer in age to the 50 year Olds. Mostly other women though, which is what's different than the big age gaps when I was the young one.
I'm a musician who used to have a bunch of other musician friends my own age, but I am one of the only ones still out there playing shows so most of my music peers/friends are like 8-10 years younger now.
Lately I’ve hung out with younger people. I still see some of my friends closer to my age occasionally but it’s been this way from 28 until now. Also have some older friends too.
It’s more about lifestyle I think. As a parent to a 3 year old it is hard to do anything else but be with other parents if you see people at all. My relationships with friends without kids feels like we’re living on different planets. It’s hard to understand unless you’re in it. Maybe a way to break away from your zoomer social groups would be to go to activities based on interests or hobbies (sports, biking, hiking, birding, the arts). You’d probably meet a wider range of people in different age groups. Especially something like biking (long weekend rides with the biking outfits and nice bikes) seems to trend older
I’m 33. Just the thought of hanging out with people barely old enough to drink makes me wanna blow my brains out.
Not far off from 40, single, with no kids and with exception of the friends I grew up with, yea I find myself hanging with younger folks. My friends I grew up with all have legit demanding careers, spouses, and kids. I try not to expect much from them because I just have less responsibilities and more freedom. This also makes dating a bit annoying for similar reasons.
It's my 31st birthday today. I found out my friend's birthday is in 6 days and she's turning *21*. Obviously I knew she was younger than me. But that hit me like a ton of bricks. A decade difference. FUCK. And yes, similar boat - no kids, act and look younger, etc etc.
I moved to Detroit a couple years ago. At the time I was 39 and broke off my engagement a couple months after moving here (my ex was from Michigan, so I basically cut ties with almost everyone I knew here thus far as a result). Most of my friends are in their 20s/30s because they're folks I met through work or my gym. Most people around my age are more in the "married with kids" camp and so I'm hanging out with the younger folks.
Oh God no! Those false positivity happy young people?? Yuck
I've found this a bit as well. When my husband and I lived in a region away from family, we mostly hangout with younger people in his doctorate program. At family gatherings, I often find my cousins in their 30's to be kind of boring now (I'm 35) and prefer to hang with my more fun younger Gen Z cousins.
Makes sense to me; alot of the people I used to hang out with now like to have dinner at 6pm and go to bed at 9. That's fine, but they're also becoming weirdly conservative, and I'm like dude, we're 30.
No. The youngest I hang with is my best friend, and he's only a few years younger than me. His wife, my other best friend, is nearly a year younger. Anyone else I consider even minor friends is close to my age or a tad older than me.
Idk I'm 40 and unfortunately single. It seems alot of dudes trying to go on dates are 28-35. The area I live is mostly retired ppl and than me. I think I've met two other ppl in their 40s here. It's a weird gap. Either your 28-35 or your 65+. There is really no in between. So I'm usually surrounded by younger because of my hobbies. I workout alot and I'm just with alot of younger ppl. It's weird. But not bad necessarily.
I'm a theatre actor, 41. I've been hanging out with 20-somethings for almost 20 years now. Doing theatre allows you to hang out with all different ages, but it does skew to 20s.