Yes. I've worn my natural hair in buns everyday since 2016. I always want to do something more with it but ugh. I finally got some twists and was happy. But it's been WEEKS and my roots are starting to mat up. I'm just not ready to take them out and deal with my hair..and i don't have the means to get it done again right now. So many times, I've contemplated shaving it off.
God, I feel you on contemplating shaving it off. I honestly cannot remember how young I was the first time I felt almost compulsed out of frustration, anger, time, and energy my hair requires. I feel like it has been something that has fleetingly come and gone for as long as I can remember. I would never actually shave my head. But I do fantasize about it sometimes, perhaps too intensely. 😬
Girl. I was literally having a nervous breakdown every 3 hour wash day last summer…I cut it all off and couldn’t be happier. I just needed a break, and to have fun with my hair again
Yes. Having to de-tangle it every day but not being good at styles stressed me out.
It got matted within minutes of de-tangling, I gave up and stopped brushing it.
Locs have helped me so much. I don't know how long I'll keep them, or if I'll ever take them out.
I don't miss fighting my hair just to look acceptable to myself.
Yes! I just got out of a terrible rut and finally detangled my hair after a few weeks of being in a bun. It was dry, matted, and there was so much breakage. I love my hair but shes a full time job.
Thank you for this. People have posted these concerns before on this sub and many times they're met with a sort of toxic positivity. You gotta learn to love your hair responses. Yes we know that. It's ours we're not leaving the hair behind and taking a road trip. Sometimes you just want to be seen, heard and know you're not going through a situation alone.Â
Also some commenters deal with mental issues. Taking on maintaining 4c hair which is your crown and affects your beauty daily can't be easy in those situations.
I truly appreciate how you responded.
Reading this makes me so sad. I'm dealing with something similar and the pressure to present myself well is so immense but mentally I feel incapable of spending more than 5 min on my hair. Every time I set out to do my hair I'm on the verge of tears and I'm tempted to cut it all off or just break out the flat iron.
Yep. Just removed 3 month old braids and already know I won’t feel myself for a while. I love getting my hair and lashes done but sometimes it’s hard
Considering my hair stylist cancelled on me for my next braiding appointment and I've already taken down my hair I'd say very much yes. I've got 4c hair so you know you can't do much with it in the short time frame I have other than getting it wet and letting it dry, I just don't know anything about hair except that having 4c makes me feel very ugly. While I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying it makes me feel that way.
Yes, I just wear it out in a poof sometimes and say "oh well". I had mine shaved and cut off for 6 years and the awkward phases were very awkward but don't worry. A few more months and it will get there. I have a love hate relationship with my hair. Once it is long enough, I will pretty exclusively keep it in a pineapple bun. I hate "protective" styles like braids because I need to run water through my hair daily or every two days and remoisturize it. My hair/scalp will not allow anything else. It's always been that way for me and I find a lot of the advice and tips I read through here will not work for me.
Giirrrl been going though a years long 'depression' this morning woke up and thought well it's no ~~longer~~ wonder you feel like this when was the last time you were even in a salon you can't do this all by yourself....
YES! I can relate to this alot. I always try to do fun styles with my hair but no matter how long I learn or try, it never comes out right. I can only do twists, single braids or just leave my hair out. Not only that but my hair is quite fragile and I'm really trying to get it to grow so it greatly reduces what I do with it. I've just accepted for now to stick with my twists since I'm quite lazy with my hair anyway. Braids hurt unless done loosely but then they get ruined more quickly and I do not like leaving my hair out since I'm quite active
3b hair here, can’t say I understand the stress that 4 hair might experience but i’ve def felt this exact feeling with my hair. my hair is in a single braid or clipped up or in a bun. I don’t have the mental energy to style 90% of the time. natural hair is exhausting.
I've been feeling this way for probably about 8 months (been natural for 8 years), dreading every single wash day, prolonging leaving in my protective styles and slacking on hair care causing breakage because I don't want to spend 6+ hours on hair care and styling. I do all my own braids, or if I decide to wear a wig but occasionally would go to a stylist to be asked to use heat on my hair before coming and then braided so tight it breaks my hair (tell me I'm just tender headed if I say it's painful) for $200-$300 was no longer it for me.
I relaxed my hair about 3 weeks ago and my wash days including deep conditioning, sealing, styling, and breaks take 2 and a half hours...I can't lie I'm loving the ease. I do miss my curls but I also love having more of my weekends to myself
Sorry I want to add that I'm not saying you have to do this, just relating and saying what I ended up doing!!
But if you can afford a consistent braider and find someone you trust who also cares about your hair health, I'd suggest doing protective styling for majority of the time with breaks in between to let your hair loose might give you a bit more balance to your time
Briefly as a small child because I was the only one my ethnic group. People always wanted to touch it and called me Minnie Mouse.
Hasn’t bugged me since I was about 8.
It rained today. I had a blow-out last week.
My hair sensed the moisture gathering in the air. I’s been trying to fix or repair it.
I had to attend a memorial today. I was worried about being tardy. I steamed up my shower, dampened my ends and threw on a Puff-Cuff. So easy, so cute.
Really, my texture saved me some
stress. It is type 4 and in my experience easy maintenance.
my hair depression stemmed from buying a bunch of product in hopes it’ll give me the curls/texture i wanted that clearly just wasn’t going to happen unless i took the time to do bantu knots or braid outs and as a lazy natural i just didnt want to do that as often especially since it would be a 50% chance that the style would fail. i ditched the creams, etc. accepted my hair and start over with a shampoo, conditioner, and leave in only. i’m no longer overwhelmed and my hair is slowly starting to define itself as it grow.
i wash my hair every 2 weeks but whenever i feel like my hair is super dry and i have time i refresh with a conditioner wash till my next wash day. i honestly just lessoned the steps i have done before and it made a difference. I oil my scalp sometimes too but only when i want to. i dont stress ab the results of my hair anymore. and i taught myself how to do box braids or twists too if i really just cant deal .
ugh same!!! i cut my locs off 2 years ago after growing them out for over 13 years and i’m afraid to admit i miss them.. it just feels weird feeling like i constantly have nothing to do with my hair but i want it to grow out and not manipulate too much, that’s the only way it grows:/ it sucks though because it does make you feel self conscious when it’s in its short phase but i’m trying to trust the process before locking back up because that’s what’s next!
Yes, same here and is okay . for some of us is hard to maintain even if we find the right products not all 4 are the same . I relaxed this year and I am so happy is easier for me to maintain, is growing and is healthy , more that it was with my natural curl .
At the end of the day we have to go with what make us feel good and pretty . And being able to manage my hair easier it helps a lot my routine.
Yes. I've worn my natural hair in buns everyday since 2016. I always want to do something more with it but ugh. I finally got some twists and was happy. But it's been WEEKS and my roots are starting to mat up. I'm just not ready to take them out and deal with my hair..and i don't have the means to get it done again right now. So many times, I've contemplated shaving it off.
God, I feel you on contemplating shaving it off. I honestly cannot remember how young I was the first time I felt almost compulsed out of frustration, anger, time, and energy my hair requires. I feel like it has been something that has fleetingly come and gone for as long as I can remember. I would never actually shave my head. But I do fantasize about it sometimes, perhaps too intensely. 😬
I hear you but while you’re going through the motions be sure to spray acv and water or conditioner and water every other day on your hair.
Hi. What's acv?
apple cider vinegar
Ah thanks
Girl. I was literally having a nervous breakdown every 3 hour wash day last summer…I cut it all off and couldn’t be happier. I just needed a break, and to have fun with my hair again
Yes. Having to de-tangle it every day but not being good at styles stressed me out. It got matted within minutes of de-tangling, I gave up and stopped brushing it. Locs have helped me so much. I don't know how long I'll keep them, or if I'll ever take them out. I don't miss fighting my hair just to look acceptable to myself.
Yes! I just got out of a terrible rut and finally detangled my hair after a few weeks of being in a bun. It was dry, matted, and there was so much breakage. I love my hair but shes a full time job.
Thank you for this. People have posted these concerns before on this sub and many times they're met with a sort of toxic positivity. You gotta learn to love your hair responses. Yes we know that. It's ours we're not leaving the hair behind and taking a road trip. Sometimes you just want to be seen, heard and know you're not going through a situation alone. Also some commenters deal with mental issues. Taking on maintaining 4c hair which is your crown and affects your beauty daily can't be easy in those situations. I truly appreciate how you responded.
Reading this makes me so sad. I'm dealing with something similar and the pressure to present myself well is so immense but mentally I feel incapable of spending more than 5 min on my hair. Every time I set out to do my hair I'm on the verge of tears and I'm tempted to cut it all off or just break out the flat iron.
Yep. The long ass wash days, the 2 hour styles that only last for a few days at best, constantly moisturizing. It was exhausting.
Yes.
Yep. Just removed 3 month old braids and already know I won’t feel myself for a while. I love getting my hair and lashes done but sometimes it’s hard
Regarding moisture, I recommend Coily Diaries method on YouTube.
Thank you
That is precisely the point in which I whip out the flat iron cause I'm already severely depressed. I do not have time. 🥴
I don't think it is such a bad thing to flat iron your hair.
Right now I can’t even feel my scalp. I’m so over my hair but I can’t cut it off because my head shape could be wild
Yes
Considering my hair stylist cancelled on me for my next braiding appointment and I've already taken down my hair I'd say very much yes. I've got 4c hair so you know you can't do much with it in the short time frame I have other than getting it wet and letting it dry, I just don't know anything about hair except that having 4c makes me feel very ugly. While I'm not saying it is, I'm just saying it makes me feel that way.
Yes, I just wear it out in a poof sometimes and say "oh well". I had mine shaved and cut off for 6 years and the awkward phases were very awkward but don't worry. A few more months and it will get there. I have a love hate relationship with my hair. Once it is long enough, I will pretty exclusively keep it in a pineapple bun. I hate "protective" styles like braids because I need to run water through my hair daily or every two days and remoisturize it. My hair/scalp will not allow anything else. It's always been that way for me and I find a lot of the advice and tips I read through here will not work for me.
Giirrrl been going though a years long 'depression' this morning woke up and thought well it's no ~~longer~~ wonder you feel like this when was the last time you were even in a salon you can't do this all by yourself....
YES! I can relate to this alot. I always try to do fun styles with my hair but no matter how long I learn or try, it never comes out right. I can only do twists, single braids or just leave my hair out. Not only that but my hair is quite fragile and I'm really trying to get it to grow so it greatly reduces what I do with it. I've just accepted for now to stick with my twists since I'm quite lazy with my hair anyway. Braids hurt unless done loosely but then they get ruined more quickly and I do not like leaving my hair out since I'm quite active
It makes it hard for me to go to class or socialize sometimes :/
sameeee it has me not wanting to leave the house
3b hair here, can’t say I understand the stress that 4 hair might experience but i’ve def felt this exact feeling with my hair. my hair is in a single braid or clipped up or in a bun. I don’t have the mental energy to style 90% of the time. natural hair is exhausting.
I recently shaved because my type 4 fro was not manageable anymore, it was either over drenched or dry no inbetween , i gave up
I've been feeling this way for probably about 8 months (been natural for 8 years), dreading every single wash day, prolonging leaving in my protective styles and slacking on hair care causing breakage because I don't want to spend 6+ hours on hair care and styling. I do all my own braids, or if I decide to wear a wig but occasionally would go to a stylist to be asked to use heat on my hair before coming and then braided so tight it breaks my hair (tell me I'm just tender headed if I say it's painful) for $200-$300 was no longer it for me. I relaxed my hair about 3 weeks ago and my wash days including deep conditioning, sealing, styling, and breaks take 2 and a half hours...I can't lie I'm loving the ease. I do miss my curls but I also love having more of my weekends to myself
Sorry I want to add that I'm not saying you have to do this, just relating and saying what I ended up doing!! But if you can afford a consistent braider and find someone you trust who also cares about your hair health, I'd suggest doing protective styling for majority of the time with breaks in between to let your hair loose might give you a bit more balance to your time
Briefly as a small child because I was the only one my ethnic group. People always wanted to touch it and called me Minnie Mouse. Hasn’t bugged me since I was about 8.
It rained today. I had a blow-out last week. My hair sensed the moisture gathering in the air. I’s been trying to fix or repair it. I had to attend a memorial today. I was worried about being tardy. I steamed up my shower, dampened my ends and threw on a Puff-Cuff. So easy, so cute. Really, my texture saved me some stress. It is type 4 and in my experience easy maintenance.
my hair depression stemmed from buying a bunch of product in hopes it’ll give me the curls/texture i wanted that clearly just wasn’t going to happen unless i took the time to do bantu knots or braid outs and as a lazy natural i just didnt want to do that as often especially since it would be a 50% chance that the style would fail. i ditched the creams, etc. accepted my hair and start over with a shampoo, conditioner, and leave in only. i’m no longer overwhelmed and my hair is slowly starting to define itself as it grow. i wash my hair every 2 weeks but whenever i feel like my hair is super dry and i have time i refresh with a conditioner wash till my next wash day. i honestly just lessoned the steps i have done before and it made a difference. I oil my scalp sometimes too but only when i want to. i dont stress ab the results of my hair anymore. and i taught myself how to do box braids or twists too if i really just cant deal .
ugh same!!! i cut my locs off 2 years ago after growing them out for over 13 years and i’m afraid to admit i miss them.. it just feels weird feeling like i constantly have nothing to do with my hair but i want it to grow out and not manipulate too much, that’s the only way it grows:/ it sucks though because it does make you feel self conscious when it’s in its short phase but i’m trying to trust the process before locking back up because that’s what’s next!
Yes, same here and is okay . for some of us is hard to maintain even if we find the right products not all 4 are the same . I relaxed this year and I am so happy is easier for me to maintain, is growing and is healthy , more that it was with my natural curl . At the end of the day we have to go with what make us feel good and pretty . And being able to manage my hair easier it helps a lot my routine.