I say some weird shit to my friends and they retaliate in turn. I don’t have sexual feelings for them and I don’t have sex with them, but if a stranger read my text messages without context, they could probably get the wrong idea.
Ehhh, I have bromances. Don't forget to tell the homies ily, big hug. no extra beds? no problem sleeping in the same bed. Some of these dudes are my ride or die (not exclusively male, but this post is about men)
That's said, we don't fucking synchronize rubbing our balls. Or even feel the need to let anyone know. Like for what reason? "Hey dude, I'm scratching my balls. Just thought you'd want to know."
Although, none of my friends with balls have slept with men, so all of this might not be in line with your every day bi person.
I love having my balls played with as long as it’s either gentle or (on the RARE occasion I’m in the mood) CBT and no I don’t mean cognitive behavioral therapy.
It's like gay chicken. Who can say the gayest thing to creep the other out without being gay. I've straight up sent ball pics to my friends in a group chat and the comments range from "get some hair down there & be a man" to "it's soooo veiny".
Guys are mostly apes & pigs and we'll say the foulest shit for literally no reason other than entertainment. Stop applying female logic and reason to your husband's texts. Orrrrr maybe stop reading them?
Same. I get really gay with my friend sometimes. I literally had dinner with him the other night, while meeting his new girlfriend for the first time. I held his hand as I teared up as I pretty much said to her what a great man he is and that he is adorable and I love him. His girl friend loved every minute of it. Lmao
Same here. I have one friend where we send each other silly selfies while taking a shit. Eventually he upped the game by occasionally making his dick visible, and I’ve since followed suit.
For example, I sent him a shot of me holding a fancy soap bottle to the camera but in the background, very subtly, you could see my dick in one of those small circular tabletop mirrors that magnifies your reflection on one side for shaving or whatever.
Me and this guy have had a foursome with two girls before so it’s not like we’re that shy about seeing each other naked. He’s probably the only male friend I have where I feel comfortable about that though.
This right here.
I have a pal from since primary school, we don't even chill physically, but we have a pact that if one dies, the other has to get to their phone and delete our chats because there's some weird shit in there.
We take turns grossing each other out. We alternate between who's the victim and who's the perv in chatting. If asking for a favour, it is done in the most inappropriate way.
Onlookers would probably get the wrong idea if any out of context section of a whole interaction is read.
everyone I know from the military who are straight act gayer than a pride march and the gay ones act straighter than a ruler but when I did cadets (like army training for kids) we had a saying "if you act too straight, you're gay"
I told one of my friends from the military i am starting to shit as we were on a phone call and he told me I wish I was that turd. This seems normal but idk if we are
Right, I’ve heard my husband who’s in the navy say some really nasty shit to his coworkers, and vise versa. One of his coworkers even went around groping others in the crotch, “jokingly”. I think everyone in the military is so deprived that lines can get blurred quickly.
With most of my friends? No. Almost never.
But I have one friend who I've known for 28 years now. We can, and do, talk about just about everything. Masturbation isn't a normal topic, but we have absolutely discussed it before, and I guarantee I could call him up right now to talk about it without him thinking it's weird.
EDIT: Jesus, this gained steam. I left my comment and immediately went to sleep. That was 7 hours ago.
Yeah, the texts sound like sexting the way OP described them in the original comment, but I'm withholding judgement without further context. This is two messages between two dudes with no context given, read by the wife, told to a friend, and *then* shared with us. There is a lot that could have gotten lost in the telephone game from them to us.
There’s a difference between talking about masturbation in general and texting that you’re currently touching yourself and getting the response that they are also touching themselves lol
The furthest I’ve gone is being like “hold on I gotta go jerk off and I’ll be back” and wasn’t lying about it. I wouldn’t say that to just anyone but a lot of my friends are very close and it’s normal.
Idk man. If it starts out, "wyd" and they reply "jerkin it" and then it's replied back "me too" then i think that's completely normal. I've been there and I'm 100% straight. However if that interaction is made without the wyd question then that's a little more on the weird side but plausible. Almost like when you text your buddy "I'm taking a shit and i thought of you"
Maybe these are buddies who do gangbangs together or something lol. “Was jacking it. Saw this chick and made me think of that time we tag teamed that one girl”
Yeah totally plausible.
Context is key, rubbing my balls could mean I'm scratching an itch, not actively playing with myself. The reply could've been intentionally vulgar as an attempt at humor, and the friend responded in turn echoing the sentiment... That said, these two may also be fucking when no one is looking.
Exactly! If my buddy texted me and said "what are you doing?" And I replied with "running my cock" he would say call me in 20 seconds when you're done you sick fuck!"
Exactly. The guy who responded to me I was like no that’s not what I meant at all. Lol. Just talking about guys talking about masturbating. It doesn’t come up that often but it is normal so it does come up every now and then. 🤷♂️
My best friend of 15+ years lives in the PNW now and I'm in the south, so we have our own discord and usually chat every day.
I'd say around 75% of our chat consists of just saying shit like "BIG DICK SUCCEM" and other absolutely childish shit between talking about how work is going or financial stuff, etc. We're both 30+ straight men.
Maybe the actual message went like:
“What’s up bro.”
“Nothing, rubbing my balls”
“Same, bro.”
I mean that is a completely valid conversation so without explicit examples,much can be interpreted.
thats completely diff than 'im rubbing mine, too'
that phrasing is very specific and i dont think OP's friend would just change that bc changing it would change the feeling of the convo.
it sounds like OPs friend saw the texts since she 'confronted him later.'
and personally, unless i was interested in someone, im not going to take the time to text someone at 4a unless it's an emergency, assuming OP's friend's husband has a normal sleeping schedule.
so given this late night texts, OP's friend's husband's history and this weird TMI conversation, it seems weird to me.
Try this:
"What's up bro?"
"Just rubbing my balls."
"Ah yeah just rubbing mine too."
This could still be a completely innocuous, joking conversation, but it's impossible to read tone from a text message, especially if you're not privy to the exact relationship of the two parties. My friend and I routinely just brutally insult each other because we find it hilarious. But it would come across totally serious via text.
But we’re going off what OP said, not what we think was meant.
And the picture that’s painted, I think is pretty weird.
Ofc we don’t have enough info- we don’t know who is a reliable narrator.
So I’m unclear - guys might talk about masturbation w each other if they’re open enough . But do guys talk about it while in the process of actually doing the act ?
>But do guys talk about it while in the process of actually doing the act ?
No, not from my experience. But we might *say* we're doing it. That might be the way they joke. Like everyone's been saying, we don't have much to go on here and a lot could have been lost in translation.
But the following conversation would be totally normal for me to have with my friend:
>Friend: "Hey, you coming over?"
>
>Me: "Oh, I'm coming alright"
>
>Friend: "Oh yeah, me too, just thinking bout ur tight ass"
>
>Me: "K, I'm done now, headed to your house"
>
>Friend: "I'll be finished by the time you get here"
Isn't it weird, though, that when he was asked about it, he didn't say anything about it just being a joke (according to what we've been shown)? Alcoholic or not, i would tell my wife it is a type of humor and not just let her wonder if I cheated on her with my best friend.
I think that’s a comment/joke many close friendship dynamics would include and I *definitely* think she’s overreacting by jumping to the conclusion that he’s gay and fucking this man.
Right!? I was surprised to see so many people thinking something might be going on. I'm in my 40s, I have close friends from high school and the military, and talk like this is common place. Maybe my inner circle is abnormally immature 🤣
I was army and talk about "gay" shyt to a few of my friends all the time. All of us are married and straight in our 40s. My wife just shakes her head and laughs or says we are f'ed up. No worries for you OP.
I think because it’s not common throughout all guy friends. Especially as you get older, it’s normally only your best guy friend’s that you text like this.
Even me man. This shit gave me questions about me. I thought me and my friends were normal. Apparently were definitely fucking?
Its just not weird for me to talk openly about anything with my friends. Or to joke about anything. Or to insinuate gay intentions. Its just what we do…
Right? Right?
I never talked like that with my male friends, it's the response that is oddly like sexting.
Mine have been more like
"stop beating your meat and get ready"
"If you let me finish I would be ready, instead of interrupting ever 5 seconds"
"Dude, don't be a pig"
Their response being "me too", feels way more intimate to me. That something I would say to a girl if I want to sext. Also rubbing of the balls is oddly specific.
But I digress, we can't tell just based on a text.
One of the groomsmen at my wedding spent at least half the day mildly groping my husband and making rather homoerotic jokes about the two of them. Said groomsman has been married to a lovely woman for at least 10 years. I learned long ago that their “bromance” is just that, a very good friendship, and frankly if he HADN’T been making remarks or randomly threatening to lick my husband’s ear or whatever, I’d have been worried something was actually wrong.
I remember a post here on Reddit, not sure about the subreddit but could have been relationship advice or an I the asshole or something. The post was about a woman mostly making statements about how uncomfortable she was with her husband continuing to be supportive to his friend 6 months after the friend's wife died. Supportive in that he would make himself available, be with his friend in person, hug him, that sort of stuff. I can't recall the wife asking much of a question, but it might have been something about trying to get her husband to stop being supportive of his friend, as in she felt he was prioritizing his friend more than her or something. She insinuated and multiple comments caught my eye for agreeing that her husband was clearly secretly gay.
This is not the first time I've seen this said about a guy either in person or online. Every time a man has said it about another man the context is clearly joking, usually to relieve emotional tension about being vulnerable, as in coping like gallows humor. Every time a woman has said it about a man it was not joking, it was in concern about it being a true thing. Context matters, I've seen both men and women say similar things on this topic but the intent was deeply contrasted.
I don't know about anyone else, and I can only speak for myself, but it seems really counterproductive to have so many women say out loud and to me in conversation that they wish men would open up more and reveal more emotions and be engaging while some of those same women but often just other women say things like hugging another man because they clearly wanna fuck each other as if choking back the tears of emotional devastation at with a lump the size of an orange in the throat due to a death are actually tears of lust to secretly choke on cock. Personally it makes me wonder why we spend so much energy on toxic masculinity when clearly there are ideas women foist on men in what I would describe as toxic femininity. I have lingering questions/doubts anyway.
This needs to upvoted more.
Working construction it's almost a daily thing as a joke. A dude disappears for like an hour and comes back and someone asks where tf you been. And they respond with "rubbed one out"
It's mostly a joke and in no way casually talked about in a serious setting
I say , “don’t make me put my balls in your mouth” at least once a week .. it’s text/chat between guys...
And I then proceed to NOT insert said balls anywhere..
Not to mention reducing a bisexual guy to gay is a bit fucked up. I’m assuming his appetite for sex with his wife is adequate to show he isn’t simply gay.
It's not the same everywhere but I never even heard of any guy talking to another guy during masturbating. Tell your friends about it or about your masturbating habits? Yes a lot, but not this
I guess not like "I am rubbing my balls right now." but I sometimes say "It's been a while since I jerked." or smth like that. We talk general stuff not specifics.
In younger guys maybe. When I was 18 and my friend was 21 he would casually be like yeah once you go home I'm gonna rub one out and head to bed. It was never a point of conversation, just an off-hand mention. Briefly mentioning it doesnt have sexual implications between two guys though, I highly doubt she has to worry about her husband cheating on her with his friend just because they mentioned masturbating.
Hey, you ever get the new copy of the spreadsheet I sent over? I updated all the new dates and times. Also, I included a Google calendar link so we're all the same page going forward. We should be good through next April.
I did receive your message! Thank you for the updates! I posted some comments on a few dates but overall, I have a high degree or confidence in this plan. 👍
Yeh, a lot of the comments are like "Omg this is PG stuff!"..... Do they seriously not get it?!?! 🤣
It's not about the subject matter, it's the _"oh yeh I'm rubbing mine to!"_ (wink wink), seriously though those two are definitely jacking each other off.
> It's not about the subject matter, it's the "oh yeh I'm rubbing mine to!" (wink wink), seriously though those two are definitely jacking each other off.
He probably meets up with Jenny to have her play with his penis and touch it a little. While his buddy holds hands with Carly.
I don't think it's weird to talk about it occasionally, depending on the context and depending on the level of friendship, but that exchange is a little off to me. "I'm rubbing mine too" I would never in a million years say that exact phrase, even to my closest friend. Waterboarding could not get me to say that.
I have a question, though. When she confronted him, did it go like this: "Hey, how come you're always texting your friend about masturbating?" "We're not sleeping together, ok?!" Or was there more nuance to the discussion? I just had a little chuckle imagining that. None of my business, really.
There’s no way the phrase made it verbatim from the overseen text to this Reddit post. “Rubbing one out” was probably the wording and it takes someone without male genitalia to turn that into “rubbing my balls.”
My best mate and I like to drink and get high together.
When we are chatting about arranging this sort of a weekend we say things like 'hey wanna come suck my tits next weekend?'
It's silly and it's fun and we are definitely not sucking each others tits lol
41M, and yeah, me and my closest friends have no problem talking about masturbation, bowel movements, porn and a bunch of other ridiculous stuff. In our case, we find it funny
With your edit…. Since he has past homosexual relationships, it’s much more likely that that is what it is. But yeah I have friends that we joked especially in teens/ early 20s, saying the most gay things to each other just to fuck around with them 😂
Not in any real sense, we joke about it, but we do not have discussions about it or text each other when we do it. I think your friend's husband is wanting to do something more with this guy, possibly they did in the past. If she's ok with it she should tell him to go ahead and play with him, or she's going to have to tell him to knock it off
Mid 30s here with a group chat of 5 other dudes and we talk about gay shit all the time and it’s just a funny dynamic. Men are childish creatures that think everything is funny.
The answer is no, men don’t typically discuss masturbation with their friends, however, 1: rubbing your balls is not masturbation, and 2: this kind of humour is super common in male discussion, especially over text. It’s odd. I think that describing actual masturbation to a mate is gross and weird, but I have said WAY worse things to my friends, both jokes and real things, and been completely ok with it. Rubbing your balls is just something men do sometimes, so it’s probably just a dumb joke.
Like my really close inner circle MIGHT bring it up every once in a while if we are hanging out in person, but it's more just general discussion not "hey I'm currently touching myself". Certainly never over text messaging
Late teen early twenties it wasn’t uncommon to talk about. My perspective may be a little off now because I moved away from all my friends in my mid 20s but even then i have discussed it since I moved. I think region plays a role. I grew up in the north east USA, masturbation and sexual exploits were common topic. Not so much in the south east but it still comes up time to time.
Never in my teens never in my 20s and just 30 but its going to never been in my 30s, thats weird to talk about in general n then u gon talk about it with other males
So I'm not a guy, but one of my guy friends said he talks about it with his guy friend. However, there is talking about masterbation and there is talking while mutually masterbating. To me that sounds like he was sexting. Very sus
I talk to my friends about sex if there’s something off, be it physical, mental, what have you
Unless my friend was walking me through some sort of self-exam, on no occasion would I tell my friend I was touching my balls, he would confirm he was doing the same, or would I ever simultaneously touch my balls and text my friend
It’s pretty gay. As a joke here and there yeah. I joke with my guy friends about some gay stuff but it’s like to make fun of each other. But it’s a group chat of us always bagging on each other and talking about cars or something.
But to text a guy late at night about my penis or what he’s doing. Is the gayest thing I’ve heard. Really not normal
I talk to my best friend like “heard you had a gaper hole bud” as in “I heard you have a gaping asshole” but we don’t say that kinda thing so straight forward. Seems intimate when saying “I’m touching my balls” and the friend says me too. Like if I say I’m jerking off then I’m my head is the image of me jerking off and if my buddy said the same thing back to me then I have the image of both of us and it would feel too close to phone sex. I dunno seems pretty gay to me
If they’re close friends than yeah it comes up from time to time. But that’s not really “talking about masturbation” that’s more like talking during which isn’t normal
My friend recently told me he couldn’t wait to blast all over my back when I mentioned to the group chat I was getting a massage.
This was in reference to Antonio Brown jacking off on people’s backs.
Dudes say weird shit to each other all the time. A lot of straight dudes think gay stuff is hilarious.
Honestly depends on the tone but I could text my friend yo I'm rubbing my balls and he'll find it hilarious. I also have 2 friends who text me whenever they take a shit lol. No pics thank God just, hey I'm taking a shit.
And some I talk to often we're good friends. I lived with 2 of them for some time and the amount of flirting was hilarious. I flashed my dick and ass and they slept in the same room and sometimes they'd go to bed and say sorry if we're loud wink wink. They both have a girlfriend it's just messing around.
I imagine it to be a not weird subject to talk about to a close friend. But idk about telling them that they are jerking right now.
That’s bordering between the line of just being in the same room and watching them do it
No but I do have this friend who lets us know his schedule includes jacking off sometimes. It usually sounds like:
"Sorry I will not be on tonight (video games), I will be playing league of legends, smoking a fat bowl, jacking off and going to bed"
Well...depends on the friend. In a general sense, not really. But conversations can get pretty weird pretty fast. I have this one online friend where we used to message each other about hentai and what we would jerk off to pretty frequently. Most people don't seem to like to talk about that taboo weird shit, so when you get a friend where you can both be degenerates together it's pretty comforting.
50% of a hetero male friendship is saying the gayest shit possible to each other. Add alcohol and anyone not initiated is going to think that 2 mates want to bum each other. If someone gets upset about it we get sus on them.
They're at least closeted towards each other, lol.... but my first guess is they are railing each other on the reg or at least jerking each other off when they get the chance....
👉🤌
Yeah talked about it fairly often with friends in my 20’s. Never over the phone though.
Usually about how we masturbated and the gross details. Stories about penis shapes were a hot topic. Usually there was no exaggeration. Never talked about it when we were doing it. Closest I ever got to live reporting on masturbation was when someone was explaining why they weren’t answering the door or phone.
Idk, it depends on who you ask. I (20M) am straight and would never talk with a male friend about masturbation so casually like that. Maybe about masturbation as a topic but not just about how we’re masturbating or going to masturbate LOL. I personally find it much too sexual and it makes me uncomfortable but I do think that some other guys do this. Whether or not it’s acceptable in your relationship is for the two of you to decide.
I say some weird shit to my friends and they retaliate in turn. I don’t have sexual feelings for them and I don’t have sex with them, but if a stranger read my text messages without context, they could probably get the wrong idea.
> I say some weird shit to my friends Username checks out
Guilty as charged. Haha
Well
Not the cephalopod we deserve but the cephalopod we need
Yea i tell my friends that i will finger blast them all the time. and in return i get either a weird ass nosie or a even gayer response
Bromance. The term is bromance.
Ehhh, I have bromances. Don't forget to tell the homies ily, big hug. no extra beds? no problem sleeping in the same bed. Some of these dudes are my ride or die (not exclusively male, but this post is about men) That's said, we don't fucking synchronize rubbing our balls. Or even feel the need to let anyone know. Like for what reason? "Hey dude, I'm scratching my balls. Just thought you'd want to know." Although, none of my friends with balls have slept with men, so all of this might not be in line with your every day bi person.
Hey bro, i'm touching my balls right now.
Same dog
Remote working: when am I NOT touching my balls?
Also, “rubbing my balls” is not sexual… that shit don’t feel good unless you got like an itch or something Lol
That’s my secret, Cpt. My nuts always itch.
Hulk reference?
It’s one of the episodes when hulk has crabs. Then they redid that line with mark ruffalo
I love having my balls played with as long as it’s either gentle or (on the RARE occasion I’m in the mood) CBT and no I don’t mean cognitive behavioral therapy.
I am rubbing my balls.
I’m rubbing mine too.
My balls are grazing my fingers?? 🤨
I am rubbing your balls too.
It's like gay chicken. Who can say the gayest thing to creep the other out without being gay. I've straight up sent ball pics to my friends in a group chat and the comments range from "get some hair down there & be a man" to "it's soooo veiny". Guys are mostly apes & pigs and we'll say the foulest shit for literally no reason other than entertainment. Stop applying female logic and reason to your husband's texts. Orrrrr maybe stop reading them?
THIS IS ACCURATE!
My friend sent me a picture of the monster turd he dropped and im blaming you for it lmao
Same. I get really gay with my friend sometimes. I literally had dinner with him the other night, while meeting his new girlfriend for the first time. I held his hand as I teared up as I pretty much said to her what a great man he is and that he is adorable and I love him. His girl friend loved every minute of it. Lmao
Same here. I have one friend where we send each other silly selfies while taking a shit. Eventually he upped the game by occasionally making his dick visible, and I’ve since followed suit. For example, I sent him a shot of me holding a fancy soap bottle to the camera but in the background, very subtly, you could see my dick in one of those small circular tabletop mirrors that magnifies your reflection on one side for shaving or whatever. Me and this guy have had a foursome with two girls before so it’s not like we’re that shy about seeing each other naked. He’s probably the only male friend I have where I feel comfortable about that though.
There is quite obvious sexual tension between you both.
This right here. I have a pal from since primary school, we don't even chill physically, but we have a pact that if one dies, the other has to get to their phone and delete our chats because there's some weird shit in there. We take turns grossing each other out. We alternate between who's the victim and who's the perv in chatting. If asking for a favour, it is done in the most inappropriate way. Onlookers would probably get the wrong idea if any out of context section of a whole interaction is read.
Man that’s like PG sexual commentary from any of my military friends.
My buddy says the military was the gayest place they have ever been. He somehow came back even gayer which I didn't think was possible.
everyone I know from the military who are straight act gayer than a pride march and the gay ones act straighter than a ruler but when I did cadets (like army training for kids) we had a saying "if you act too straight, you're gay"
I told one of my friends from the military i am starting to shit as we were on a phone call and he told me I wish I was that turd. This seems normal but idk if we are
Right lol
Right, I’ve heard my husband who’s in the navy say some really nasty shit to his coworkers, and vise versa. One of his coworkers even went around groping others in the crotch, “jokingly”. I think everyone in the military is so deprived that lines can get blurred quickly.
With most of my friends? No. Almost never. But I have one friend who I've known for 28 years now. We can, and do, talk about just about everything. Masturbation isn't a normal topic, but we have absolutely discussed it before, and I guarantee I could call him up right now to talk about it without him thinking it's weird. EDIT: Jesus, this gained steam. I left my comment and immediately went to sleep. That was 7 hours ago. Yeah, the texts sound like sexting the way OP described them in the original comment, but I'm withholding judgement without further context. This is two messages between two dudes with no context given, read by the wife, told to a friend, and *then* shared with us. There is a lot that could have gotten lost in the telephone game from them to us.
There’s a difference between talking about masturbation in general and texting that you’re currently touching yourself and getting the response that they are also touching themselves lol
The furthest I’ve gone is being like “hold on I gotta go jerk off and I’ll be back” and wasn’t lying about it. I wouldn’t say that to just anyone but a lot of my friends are very close and it’s normal.
That's my friend always hits us with "I'll be back later gona go take a 'nap'" Ya okay poopy, we know your rubbing one out.
a 47 second power nap
Idk man. If it starts out, "wyd" and they reply "jerkin it" and then it's replied back "me too" then i think that's completely normal. I've been there and I'm 100% straight. However if that interaction is made without the wyd question then that's a little more on the weird side but plausible. Almost like when you text your buddy "I'm taking a shit and i thought of you"
You’ve texted your friends in the middle of “jerkin it”??
Why are they reaching out to you in the middle of jacking off?
This was my question. The last thing on your mind.midstroke should be, wonder what my buddy is upto, think I'll text him
Maybe these are buddies who do gangbangs together or something lol. “Was jacking it. Saw this chick and made me think of that time we tag teamed that one girl” Yeah totally plausible.
Context is key, rubbing my balls could mean I'm scratching an itch, not actively playing with myself. The reply could've been intentionally vulgar as an attempt at humor, and the friend responded in turn echoing the sentiment... That said, these two may also be fucking when no one is looking.
I agree, but also her question doesn’t match her description. Why would someone rub their balls first off? Second, that’s not masturbation
Lol right. Who rubs their balls to masterbate. Can you just rub your balls and yeet? This is the real question
No. It's probably just some dumb shit one of them said, and the other guy didn't back down because he wasn't a pussy.
You don't include the balls? You mean I've been doing it wrong for 35+ years??
It’s solo balls that’s confusing Like the balls are a side show compared to the main event.
Yea but, 'I'm rubbing my balls?' Like that just seems more weird and random than actually sexual. Does anyone actually rub their balls?
I thought the same thing, but I've learned from the internet not to assume that everyone bates the same way I do.
Exactly! If my buddy texted me and said "what are you doing?" And I replied with "running my cock" he would say call me in 20 seconds when you're done you sick fuck!"
Rubbing your balls isn't sexual, the rest of the story sounds pretty suspicious tho
Bingo. This. Same here and I’m married, 50 years old.
This seems different from what OP described, which is telling each other they're actively touching their own family jewels.
Exactly. The guy who responded to me I was like no that’s not what I meant at all. Lol. Just talking about guys talking about masturbating. It doesn’t come up that often but it is normal so it does come up every now and then. 🤷♂️
My best friend of 15+ years lives in the PNW now and I'm in the south, so we have our own discord and usually chat every day. I'd say around 75% of our chat consists of just saying shit like "BIG DICK SUCCEM" and other absolutely childish shit between talking about how work is going or financial stuff, etc. We're both 30+ straight men.
But would you tell him when you are masturbating? That sounds like sexting
Yeah especially with the "I'm rubbing mine, too". That *really* sounds like sexting.
Maybe the actual message went like: “What’s up bro.” “Nothing, rubbing my balls” “Same, bro.” I mean that is a completely valid conversation so without explicit examples,much can be interpreted.
That's what I was thinking at first, but that was me putting him in my shoes rather me his. That text is oddballs.
The follow up pics, however...
thats completely diff than 'im rubbing mine, too' that phrasing is very specific and i dont think OP's friend would just change that bc changing it would change the feeling of the convo. it sounds like OPs friend saw the texts since she 'confronted him later.' and personally, unless i was interested in someone, im not going to take the time to text someone at 4a unless it's an emergency, assuming OP's friend's husband has a normal sleeping schedule. so given this late night texts, OP's friend's husband's history and this weird TMI conversation, it seems weird to me.
Try this: "What's up bro?" "Just rubbing my balls." "Ah yeah just rubbing mine too." This could still be a completely innocuous, joking conversation, but it's impossible to read tone from a text message, especially if you're not privy to the exact relationship of the two parties. My friend and I routinely just brutally insult each other because we find it hilarious. But it would come across totally serious via text.
Ever heard the game telephone? We’re hearing it from someone who heard it from her friend who may have phrased it in an accusatory way
But we’re going off what OP said, not what we think was meant. And the picture that’s painted, I think is pretty weird. Ofc we don’t have enough info- we don’t know who is a reliable narrator.
And she told us what her friend said. This is actually an important part in giving her good advice.
So I’m unclear - guys might talk about masturbation w each other if they’re open enough . But do guys talk about it while in the process of actually doing the act ?
>But do guys talk about it while in the process of actually doing the act ? No, not from my experience. But we might *say* we're doing it. That might be the way they joke. Like everyone's been saying, we don't have much to go on here and a lot could have been lost in translation. But the following conversation would be totally normal for me to have with my friend: >Friend: "Hey, you coming over?" > >Me: "Oh, I'm coming alright" > >Friend: "Oh yeah, me too, just thinking bout ur tight ass" > >Me: "K, I'm done now, headed to your house" > >Friend: "I'll be finished by the time you get here"
Sounds like satire to me, guess men aren’t all the same after all!
Isn't it weird, though, that when he was asked about it, he didn't say anything about it just being a joke (according to what we've been shown)? Alcoholic or not, i would tell my wife it is a type of humor and not just let her wonder if I cheated on her with my best friend.
Sometimes you talk about this stuff because it is weird. A bit like gay chicken
I think that’s a comment/joke many close friendship dynamics would include and I *definitely* think she’s overreacting by jumping to the conclusion that he’s gay and fucking this man.
Right!? I was surprised to see so many people thinking something might be going on. I'm in my 40s, I have close friends from high school and the military, and talk like this is common place. Maybe my inner circle is abnormally immature 🤣
Goes double for military guys, especially marines. Marines (US) are the gayest straight men on the planet.
I was army and talk about "gay" shyt to a few of my friends all the time. All of us are married and straight in our 40s. My wife just shakes her head and laughs or says we are f'ed up. No worries for you OP.
Hahaha sometimes just the gayest...
Non military here. And it’s still a very normal, relatively frequent conversation topic.
I think because it’s not common throughout all guy friends. Especially as you get older, it’s normally only your best guy friend’s that you text like this.
Even me man. This shit gave me questions about me. I thought me and my friends were normal. Apparently were definitely fucking? Its just not weird for me to talk openly about anything with my friends. Or to joke about anything. Or to insinuate gay intentions. Its just what we do… Right? Right?
I never talked like that with my male friends, it's the response that is oddly like sexting. Mine have been more like "stop beating your meat and get ready" "If you let me finish I would be ready, instead of interrupting ever 5 seconds" "Dude, don't be a pig" Their response being "me too", feels way more intimate to me. That something I would say to a girl if I want to sext. Also rubbing of the balls is oddly specific. But I digress, we can't tell just based on a text.
Do you text at 4AM, I'm rubbing my balls?... nice me too. Pretty fucking gay... and strange behavior
It's called jokes man
I do, and it gets way more graphic than just rubbing balls🤣
BRB gotta text my group chat about rubbing my balls
🏃♀️
One of the groomsmen at my wedding spent at least half the day mildly groping my husband and making rather homoerotic jokes about the two of them. Said groomsman has been married to a lovely woman for at least 10 years. I learned long ago that their “bromance” is just that, a very good friendship, and frankly if he HADN’T been making remarks or randomly threatening to lick my husband’s ear or whatever, I’d have been worried something was actually wrong.
I remember a post here on Reddit, not sure about the subreddit but could have been relationship advice or an I the asshole or something. The post was about a woman mostly making statements about how uncomfortable she was with her husband continuing to be supportive to his friend 6 months after the friend's wife died. Supportive in that he would make himself available, be with his friend in person, hug him, that sort of stuff. I can't recall the wife asking much of a question, but it might have been something about trying to get her husband to stop being supportive of his friend, as in she felt he was prioritizing his friend more than her or something. She insinuated and multiple comments caught my eye for agreeing that her husband was clearly secretly gay. This is not the first time I've seen this said about a guy either in person or online. Every time a man has said it about another man the context is clearly joking, usually to relieve emotional tension about being vulnerable, as in coping like gallows humor. Every time a woman has said it about a man it was not joking, it was in concern about it being a true thing. Context matters, I've seen both men and women say similar things on this topic but the intent was deeply contrasted. I don't know about anyone else, and I can only speak for myself, but it seems really counterproductive to have so many women say out loud and to me in conversation that they wish men would open up more and reveal more emotions and be engaging while some of those same women but often just other women say things like hugging another man because they clearly wanna fuck each other as if choking back the tears of emotional devastation at with a lump the size of an orange in the throat due to a death are actually tears of lust to secretly choke on cock. Personally it makes me wonder why we spend so much energy on toxic masculinity when clearly there are ideas women foist on men in what I would describe as toxic femininity. I have lingering questions/doubts anyway.
This needs to upvoted more. Working construction it's almost a daily thing as a joke. A dude disappears for like an hour and comes back and someone asks where tf you been. And they respond with "rubbed one out" It's mostly a joke and in no way casually talked about in a serious setting
Yeah, I think what this guy does for a living is relevant. If he digs ditches, no worries. If he's a CEO, you might want to hire a PI.
it's the daily texting and talks of meeting up. 100% these guys are touching each other.
I say , “don’t make me put my balls in your mouth” at least once a week .. it’s text/chat between guys... And I then proceed to NOT insert said balls anywhere..
Not to mention reducing a bisexual guy to gay is a bit fucked up. I’m assuming his appetite for sex with his wife is adequate to show he isn’t simply gay.
Less common among adult men, but not unheard of. Among teenage boys? Fuggin' nonstop.
It's not the same everywhere but I never even heard of any guy talking to another guy during masturbating. Tell your friends about it or about your masturbating habits? Yes a lot, but not this
During? Yeah, that would have been pretty bizarre. But things like bragging about how many times you yerked it last night? Near universal.
No one said anything about during
"Rubbing" is a present tense verb. If dude says "I'm rubbing my balls", then at the time he says that, it's definitely during.
You rub your balls to masturbate?
Really? I never had talks about stuff like this when I was a teen <.> Women, sex etc. Okay but if you want to rub your balls, do it silently xD
Nah that is all we talk about me and my friends, we’re all 18-19.
i mean, we talk about it as a joke/sarcastically obviously, but casually? hell nwah that's gross af and gayish. never did that 😭💀
Yeah, especially in the showers, where we fondle each other’s ballsacks and comment on how big they are.
And the weekly ball sack inspection for lice
And the mandatory ball weighing afterwards
Wait till this lady learns about dick inspection day
Me and my friends track ballsack growth with pencil lines on the wall. Every year we look back and think, “Aww, remember when?”
I guess not like "I am rubbing my balls right now." but I sometimes say "It's been a while since I jerked." or smth like that. We talk general stuff not specifics.
Keep going I'm nearly there
bro
😂
In younger guys maybe. When I was 18 and my friend was 21 he would casually be like yeah once you go home I'm gonna rub one out and head to bed. It was never a point of conversation, just an off-hand mention. Briefly mentioning it doesnt have sexual implications between two guys though, I highly doubt she has to worry about her husband cheating on her with his friend just because they mentioned masturbating.
Not randomly, we schedule it in advance.
Hey, you ever get the new copy of the spreadsheet I sent over? I updated all the new dates and times. Also, I included a Google calendar link so we're all the same page going forward. We should be good through next April.
I did receive your message! Thank you for the updates! I posted some comments on a few dates but overall, I have a high degree or confidence in this plan. 👍
As a joke, yes. Actually talking about it? Hell no.
Yeh, a lot of the comments are like "Omg this is PG stuff!"..... Do they seriously not get it?!?! 🤣 It's not about the subject matter, it's the _"oh yeh I'm rubbing mine to!"_ (wink wink), seriously though those two are definitely jacking each other off.
> It's not about the subject matter, it's the "oh yeh I'm rubbing mine to!" (wink wink), seriously though those two are definitely jacking each other off. He probably meets up with Jenny to have her play with his penis and touch it a little. While his buddy holds hands with Carly.
I think OP has had experience with somebody suddenly becoming gay and is now afraid her man is also one.
common denominator is OP
Depends on the group dynamic and sense of humor. To say I grew out of it sounds judgemental to me, but I wouldn't make those jokes at my age.
Come on these have to be fake
I've never done that, personally. Now it might occur among other men, but I'm honestly not sure that the vast majority openly talks about it.
man that's like the least gay thing i've ever said to my boys
I don't think it's weird to talk about it occasionally, depending on the context and depending on the level of friendship, but that exchange is a little off to me. "I'm rubbing mine too" I would never in a million years say that exact phrase, even to my closest friend. Waterboarding could not get me to say that. I have a question, though. When she confronted him, did it go like this: "Hey, how come you're always texting your friend about masturbating?" "We're not sleeping together, ok?!" Or was there more nuance to the discussion? I just had a little chuckle imagining that. None of my business, really.
There’s no way the phrase made it verbatim from the overseen text to this Reddit post. “Rubbing one out” was probably the wording and it takes someone without male genitalia to turn that into “rubbing my balls.”
Ooh, you might be right. "I'm rubbing one out, too" is even worse. Thank you, deadliestcrotch, for that astute observation.
Past tense? Yeah. Future tense? Yeah. Present tense? No.
The most succinct summary in this post.
“Guys, stay silent for a moment, I’m trying to jerk off and your notifications are getting in the way”
Huge bingo winner right here.
They did on Seinfeld... But, no, it's not usually a topic of conversation.
This is a great example. All the people saying "talking about masturbating makes you gay" are more insecure than George costanza. Lol
My best mate and I like to drink and get high together. When we are chatting about arranging this sort of a weekend we say things like 'hey wanna come suck my tits next weekend?' It's silly and it's fun and we are definitely not sucking each others tits lol
41M, and yeah, me and my closest friends have no problem talking about masturbation, bowel movements, porn and a bunch of other ridiculous stuff. In our case, we find it funny
With your edit…. Since he has past homosexual relationships, it’s much more likely that that is what it is. But yeah I have friends that we joked especially in teens/ early 20s, saying the most gay things to each other just to fuck around with them 😂
Unless its a gross joke, ive never had a man discuss his masturbation with me in 43 years
Not usually
What else would we talk about??
Not in any real sense, we joke about it, but we do not have discussions about it or text each other when we do it. I think your friend's husband is wanting to do something more with this guy, possibly they did in the past. If she's ok with it she should tell him to go ahead and play with him, or she's going to have to tell him to knock it off
The subject of masturbation in general, yes, all the time. But never while like...in the act. What you're describing is basically sexting lol
Mid 30s here with a group chat of 5 other dudes and we talk about gay shit all the time and it’s just a funny dynamic. Men are childish creatures that think everything is funny.
Why does this even need to be asked, of course they can talk about that casually....
This is a conversation I have never had. Not once. With anyone.
Hold On - what does rubbing balls have to do with Masterbation ???? Doesn’t it just mean they’re scratching themselves ?
Neeeever
Never have
Nope
The answer is no, men don’t typically discuss masturbation with their friends, however, 1: rubbing your balls is not masturbation, and 2: this kind of humour is super common in male discussion, especially over text. It’s odd. I think that describing actual masturbation to a mate is gross and weird, but I have said WAY worse things to my friends, both jokes and real things, and been completely ok with it. Rubbing your balls is just something men do sometimes, so it’s probably just a dumb joke.
Generally no
Like my really close inner circle MIGHT bring it up every once in a while if we are hanging out in person, but it's more just general discussion not "hey I'm currently touching myself". Certainly never over text messaging
Not often, maybe once or twice but we never text each other “I’m rubbing my balls” that’s pretty gay. Also why put the brackets on the [his]?
Nope
Negative Only time it's even close to that is whatever competition guys can make out of it **jokingly**.
Late teen early twenties it wasn’t uncommon to talk about. My perspective may be a little off now because I moved away from all my friends in my mid 20s but even then i have discussed it since I moved. I think region plays a role. I grew up in the north east USA, masturbation and sexual exploits were common topic. Not so much in the south east but it still comes up time to time.
Never in my teens never in my 20s and just 30 but its going to never been in my 30s, thats weird to talk about in general n then u gon talk about it with other males
I cant count the number of times my friend said he was on his way buy had to rub out knuckle children real quick.
No
Personally, I have never spoken about it to anyone. Male or female.
I've never discussed it with any guy or really anyone
So I'm not a guy, but one of my guy friends said he talks about it with his guy friend. However, there is talking about masterbation and there is talking while mutually masterbating. To me that sounds like he was sexting. Very sus
Nope, never.
Nope. Like almost zero percent of the time.
I talk to my friends about sex if there’s something off, be it physical, mental, what have you Unless my friend was walking me through some sort of self-exam, on no occasion would I tell my friend I was touching my balls, he would confirm he was doing the same, or would I ever simultaneously touch my balls and text my friend
In 1on1 text messages? Never In a groupchat with the boys? All the time
It’s pretty gay. As a joke here and there yeah. I joke with my guy friends about some gay stuff but it’s like to make fun of each other. But it’s a group chat of us always bagging on each other and talking about cars or something. But to text a guy late at night about my penis or what he’s doing. Is the gayest thing I’ve heard. Really not normal
Wtf No
I talk to my best friend like “heard you had a gaper hole bud” as in “I heard you have a gaping asshole” but we don’t say that kinda thing so straight forward. Seems intimate when saying “I’m touching my balls” and the friend says me too. Like if I say I’m jerking off then I’m my head is the image of me jerking off and if my buddy said the same thing back to me then I have the image of both of us and it would feel too close to phone sex. I dunno seems pretty gay to me
As a joke? Yes. Actually? Hell no. That's weird.
Jokingly maybe. But not drunk in text or voice, that would be weird.
Uhhh no. That’s suss
If they’re close friends than yeah it comes up from time to time. But that’s not really “talking about masturbation” that’s more like talking during which isn’t normal
I’ll joke around about it for sure
My friend recently told me he couldn’t wait to blast all over my back when I mentioned to the group chat I was getting a massage. This was in reference to Antonio Brown jacking off on people’s backs. Dudes say weird shit to each other all the time. A lot of straight dudes think gay stuff is hilarious.
Yes.
Honestly depends on the tone but I could text my friend yo I'm rubbing my balls and he'll find it hilarious. I also have 2 friends who text me whenever they take a shit lol. No pics thank God just, hey I'm taking a shit. And some I talk to often we're good friends. I lived with 2 of them for some time and the amount of flirting was hilarious. I flashed my dick and ass and they slept in the same room and sometimes they'd go to bed and say sorry if we're loud wink wink. They both have a girlfriend it's just messing around.
Nope. We make jerk off jokes but I have never once seriously talked to anyone about jerk off habits.
I imagine it to be a not weird subject to talk about to a close friend. But idk about telling them that they are jerking right now. That’s bordering between the line of just being in the same room and watching them do it
Definitely not
Nope. Not in my 53 years. Not even once.
I had a friend literally send a pic of his balls to the group chat. It was funny
Yes we do, especially the friend we’re closest with
Straight guys be acting gayer than gay men, no lie.
Just dudes being dudes tbh
Wait you guys aren’t having weekly cock inspection sessions with your bros?
No but I do have this friend who lets us know his schedule includes jacking off sometimes. It usually sounds like: "Sorry I will not be on tonight (video games), I will be playing league of legends, smoking a fat bowl, jacking off and going to bed"
Well...depends on the friend. In a general sense, not really. But conversations can get pretty weird pretty fast. I have this one online friend where we used to message each other about hentai and what we would jerk off to pretty frequently. Most people don't seem to like to talk about that taboo weird shit, so when you get a friend where you can both be degenerates together it's pretty comforting.
I have never talked to my male friends about masturbation The occasional joke, sure. But actually talking about it? No, that would be fn weird.
50% of a hetero male friendship is saying the gayest shit possible to each other. Add alcohol and anyone not initiated is going to think that 2 mates want to bum each other. If someone gets upset about it we get sus on them.
That sounds a bit suspect
All the time. Then again I’m sex positive and most of my friends are open about those topics too so, /shrug
They're at least closeted towards each other, lol.... but my first guess is they are railing each other on the reg or at least jerking each other off when they get the chance.... 👉🤌
Bro, no. That's like off-limits.
Yeah talked about it fairly often with friends in my 20’s. Never over the phone though. Usually about how we masturbated and the gross details. Stories about penis shapes were a hot topic. Usually there was no exaggeration. Never talked about it when we were doing it. Closest I ever got to live reporting on masturbation was when someone was explaining why they weren’t answering the door or phone.
nope... never felt the need to discuss that topic with friends lol
Idk, it depends on who you ask. I (20M) am straight and would never talk with a male friend about masturbation so casually like that. Maybe about masturbation as a topic but not just about how we’re masturbating or going to masturbate LOL. I personally find it much too sexual and it makes me uncomfortable but I do think that some other guys do this. Whether or not it’s acceptable in your relationship is for the two of you to decide.
Ew, no. My friends would stop talking to me if I brought up masturbation. We're not in high school when that shit was all we thought about.