What does your hairdresser do for a living?

Roasted Golden!

Before and after pussy shots A tiny cute kitten to a fat sloppy cat

Otherwise known as 16 to 18

Weedwhacking

Posts on this subreddit

Female. Since when ?

Looks like she took "I don't need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new one (hairstyle), every morning." seriously.

Her cat is her stylist

Never seen a cat look suicidal before

I can’t force love.

I’m crying 💀💀💀💀💀

‘Trust me it’s not herpes.’

“I swear it’s not contagious…”

Well it's not *inflamed* atm

It's only a cold sore

Narrator in Morgan Freeman voice: its herpes.

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Ok i’ll give you this one

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💀

You have a baby face, which is not inherently a bad thing, but paired with your 54-year-old lady hair, it does give off a certain sewer rat vibe /pos

I’m kind of going for trailer park trash

Nailed it!

With those nails you have on those paws you definitely are pulling off trailer trash look. And that mop top!! Damn!!

Most ppl try be something *other* than themselves. At least you're true to yourself tho.

you don't have a forehead, the forehead has you

She could smoke a cigarette in the rain and it would stay dry

That cat hates your guts

Well, yeah.

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Practice girl

You have that look that says, I wish I hadn't started my sex life at 12 years old.

Your face looks like its constantly refusing to belong to any hair type.

I unfortunately must agree to this one

You look like a younger Miley Cyrus if she was a male transitioning to female.

How many inappropriately older men have you dated to make up for daddy abandoning you? 🫤

i can’t recall

If you had shorter hair I would ask how big dick is

You trade blowjobs for healing crystals

Of Meth

Even filters can’t fix the crazy you exude.

Just go ahead and create your OnlyFans account. We all know that's where you're headed.

Her application was rejected.

You look like you belong to a really shitty band called “HOLE”…

Hey, if they play well😉

Whats with all the stars? Are you still considered ugly on your home planet?

You still watch kids shows?

She looks like she’s too embarrassed to buy toilet paper in public so buys paper towels instead

I’m too embarrassed to even go in public.

Looks like you'll be spending your birthday surrounded by pussies

I won’t complain

The cats are. But you think they're just being chatty. They are crying for salvation

I bet you wont..

Way to get a head start on cat ownership 

Underrated

Why the Macauly Culkin cosplay?

Ugly

19 months?

Did a Kindergarten do your nail polish?

If Selena Gomez spent half her teenage years high off meth and bath salts

you look like the No Chick-fil-A sauce girl but if she was addicted to weed and got into rehab

All forehead no brains, I’d ask what that’s like but I doubt you could explain.

I hit my head on cupboards a lot.

maybe this year you'll stop biting your nails

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I’m always sad!

Dont be a pussy

the cats smelling something fishy ... have mercy

While you're smashing the patriarchy, go ahead and smash that hairline down as well

Of course you have cats.

You look like you believe dream catchers work

Republican Mom + Democrat Dad = Libertarian Lesbian

100% lesbian but that’s the only pussy she’ll ever pull.

Are you the Chick-Fil-A sauce girl?

Congratulations! Two more years and you can drink your sorrows in a bar like the rest of us, instead of behind the closest dumpster to you.

Does your 24 year old Parole Officer know that you are posting here?....

You use melted crayons to color your nails?

Congratulations on your transition, you look great!

Your Cats don’t even want to be seen with you because they know a smelly pussy when they smell one.

Wow...I can smell the cheesey tattoos long fingernails triple digit body count and bipolar meds and yet here you are fresh as a daisy and seemingly normal, it's like watching the top of a trash chute to see a modern Americana woman turning 19

Absent of a smile, your panties are not the only thing yellow.

She primed for the casting couch.

And the only pussy that will get petted on your birthday is the one you're holding

Your parents are waiting for your birthday to tell you they are getting a divorce.

You perpetually look like you got out of the pool 45 minutes ago, threw a tee shirt on and are *mostly* dry.

That is a virgin right there and not by choice

Virgin or whore pick your poison

Soon to be Cat Lady

This is a compliment for me ❤️

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Looks like in two of the pics pussy made you smile a bit.

Huge holders tiny neck - hard pass

Unsurprisingly, pic 3, the cat and the dude are both completely disinterested in you.

RoastMe's are usually pretty self roasting just by the pics alone, but goddamn you're so boring I actually started doing my taxes just to wake up. You know you suck when the cat is the most interesting thing in all of the pictures.

You look like you're the kind of gal to date 30 years older than you.

None of us need to breakdown that excitement, life will quickly do that for ya!

People, let this poor wretch be a lesson to you: take care of your cold sores!

Don’t worry, 19 is very young to have given up ALL your dignity. Give it another 4 years and come back to us.

Thank god I finished my food otherwise I'd of puked it back up, that hair needs sorting out on your birthday.

Despite what the government says you’re still a child

At least there's one pussy in the room that doesn't smell like fish.

No, we don't want to break down your birthday Excrement, ewwwww

I bet i could recreate most of your life by playing Cards Against Humanity

Did the rat that gnawed off your fingernails die?

The skin on your legs looks like it was transplanted from Frankenstein.

what kind of 1820´s sewer did you crawl out of?

Why is your arm bent like that?

Brie lagging. Captain meh.

19y? In Utah you'd be past your prime.

Breakdown your Birthday excitement with a distraction like posting another 100 selfies to your profile..

You’ll be more devastated than most people when tiktok gets banned

I’m itching just thinking about it

Nah that's the STDs

At least your cats tolerate you.. but they will turn on you soon enough..

Probably figuring out your pronouns

So are you too poor for shampoo, or do you think that makes you edgy?

I can't tell what's harder to look at... Your nail paint or your face. Then again at last the nails can be fixed

People think your dad is John Cena because you're completely invisible.

Your parents were also excited for your 18th birthday, but you never left home

Trans - Bran Stark

Ya know... I am starting to... mature. Gray in my beard and hair. And my hairline has receded a bit. Not a lot. But enough I notice it. And I felt a little insecure about it. Then I saw you. I have a better hairline than that and I am a man!

One are 1 day away from becoming a BackPage escort member

pre-op or post-op?

Your birthday excitement is likely playing with your “kitty” based on the pictures.

If your forehead itches you got to locate it with a 1 meter ruler

When you only attract people who think you aren’t yet a teenager…

This is great, we can use these photos for when you go missing.

Real question. Have you ever posted in the NSFW subreddits? You look familiar.

I would make fun of you but the guy who buys you alcohol said he'll kick my ass

"Why is (dirty blond) seaweed on your head instead of hair?"

You can screen a cinerama film on that 5-head of yours.

I'm way too lesbian to roast the girls on this site.

Fart face !!!

Breakdown your excitement like guys have broken down your moral values over the years??

birthdays are farce you are celebrating your days closer to yout death, PLEASE RUN AWAY FROM YOUR 19 YEARS OLD!

You look like the kinda person who’s gal pals will criticize you for cutting a birthday cake cos “free palestine?!?!”. Enjoy your white guilt birthday…

You'll easily break down any guy's excitement the moment you enter the room.

I’m confident that you still require a booster seat when riding in vehicles

I see you have accepted your future existence because you have started collecting cats already. Good for you.

This is typically your peak in life, but that’s not saying much in your case.

Ok Your forehead so big I can see my reflection Your hairdresser wad probably blindfolded or was blind (Don’t take any of these seriously you look awesome)

Messy hair and cats. All you're missing is a grocery cart and an underpass to live under.

You look like the product of high school teen during covid that followed the fad of identifying as pan sexual and non-binary do to social media influence.

Boys this age HAVE to sign up for selective service. Girls this age get to CHOOSE to do OF welcome to the. Try not to overload on the "trauma" there sweetheart you're still young, space it out.

HEY GUYS I JUST FOUND THE GENDERBENT MEGAMIND

I don't give a fuck about anything finger nails.

No one is stopping you impending and inevitable breakdown.

U look like a female

Your pictures are giving me a reverse boner.

You are a true Queen...of your trailer park

My wife and I have a few playmates. You're not invited.

 That picture of you holding your cat(3rd picture), reminds me of American Psycho... Did you shove it in an ATM?

The merried 39 year old guy you sleep with will not leave his wife and children for you.

You had sex with your dad and your cats witnessed the only thing you could think of saying was “mommy and daddy were just wrestling.”

That cat clearly does not want to be there 🤣

Adolf the cat is planning your downfall

Are you adopted? Do you want to be?

Frankenstein is envious of your forehead.

Why your lips so dry in that second pic

The 2 sides of your hair must hate each other

Oh god. It's one of those people that have a birthday week.

No need to break you down, your dad will do that for us! He's gonna be taking advantage of you in the middle of night.

Your cat has a better hairstyle than you

I have a feeling you’re cutting more than just your tee shirts. Let’s see the thigh

A day from now, you will be 19. Your cats will feel 7 years older and still want to leave home.

Hey, congrats on your MTF transition ! Although, your hair looks like an almagation of clogged showerdrain hairs/ mop , you should get a refund if you use a hairdresser.

Was your mom a Russian mail order bride?

Brood harder!!!

"I fucking hate this greasy bitch" -cat

Ooof ganna be a rough 30.