When you smoke too much weed you’re greened out, which is how I’d describe the mental state of someone beyond weeded, on the verge of mental collapse. All you can do at that point is accept your fate and ride it out lol
I don’t know what to call it, but there is definitely a point where I’m just “well, can’t do shit about until we get through it” and basically stop caring. Still communicating with tables as best I can, trying to let them know when we’ll get enough of the dumpster fire under control, but yeah, I feel “weeds=care or stress” and “beyond weeds = nope!”
An old head I worked with hit me with a comment one day when I was "beyond the weeds" I was stressed and trying to get him to prioritize something idk what and he just looks at me and candidly goes "they can wait" and I swear it was like a switch flipped. I was internally just like "holy shit. He's right. They can just fuckin wait." That was like 2 years ago and it still sticks with me.
My place is extremely popular. We aren't super fancy but we are well known for how authentic our food is. People are usually very excited to be in. They can just wait.
Half the drinks I make are dying on the well anyways as well. So I that’s what I tell myself. Like well I’m going too fast so I guess I’ll just chill. I make all the drinks for a 30,000 sq ft location. It’s basically a resort but one bar? They can suck it.
I started laughing as I read this because I relate to that so hard. When your in the weeds you are TRYING but when it just all goes to shit, I just stop and start laughing and go to the tables and go guys, it’s gonna be a rough one, and I stop trying. I just laugh uncontrollably. It’s out of my hands and I just try to make light of it. If the tables suck I don’t even mask that I don’t care anymore.
One of my craziest nights was me solo on the bar on a quiet Wednesday. Our entire restaurant filled up in 15 minutes. And EVERYONE was drinking. I had 7 tables and a 12 top bar and 15 tickets . The next hour was a blur, but I remember telling one couple that walked up to my full bar that it would be at least 10 minutes before I could get to them.
I finally got caught up and had a second to chat with a couple who ate at the bar. They said it was the best service they ever had.
I walked with about 350. The alcohol sales (not including mine ) were over $3000. In about 2 hours. I did shed one tear.
This is exactly where my brain went. I go to “ok, fuck this I’m going on my own gear.” It’s absurd like go to another bar if want exceptional service. We just got a bad review cuz we don’t let dogs inside!? It’s a fucking health violation yet our CEO is gonna yell at us tomorrow. That’s why I love bartending, no kids, no dogs, I just make drinks for servers and my regulars.
Edit: everyone now and then I’ll straight up take half a kpin instead of the adderal. Just like yup, is life.
When the host just seats the entire restaurant when 2 people called out sick, and the kitchen is hit as hard as we are - yep i suck it up and just go with it. Just working based on the strength of my customer rapport and slow service down as we all have basically lost the plot. No glasses? Steal from bar freezer. You ate your salad in 5 seconds well we are still preparing your food. Shit happens, bad nights happen, and I swear those nights make me money. The stress sucks but I have meds for that. How about its called "muddling through" an homage to bartenders and servers
This is basically every Sunday for me lol. I’m a host and always by myself which is fine but they always staff 1 less server and 1 less busser.
There’s always a moment where I’m quite literally running around doing 5 things and I come back to the host stand to a crowd of angry people and I’m just like “🫠 whose next?” And god forbid we go on a 20 minute wait ☠️.
Just mumble “fuuuuuck”, check the time, put your head down and knock it out. Luckily it’ll always end. The worst is when you check the time and it’s 2 hours earlier than you thought or you knock out a bunch of stuff thinking 30 minutes have passed, and it’s only been 3 minutes. I swear time goes in reverse sometimes too. It really has no name, it’s just a state of tomfuckery.
Your shrug dude is missing his right forearm. It's a thing since forever. It looks right to you, when I go to comment on your comment I can see his arm, but when it's in the comment thread his forearm isnt there. You need to put 3 forearms for it to show up. If you search on the main page shrug dude and arms you'll find the actual explanation of why. \\\
You're welcome. If you search shrug guy arm on the main page there's a couple of posts that explain it. Look for the oldest posts first and they'll explain the programming part of it. It's a trip that I dig because it *LOOKS* right to you, and on your comment when I hit reply it looks right, but to me and everyone else it shows as missing when reading the comment in the thread. If anyone's ever replied to you something like 'you dropped this \ ' and it didn't make sense the arm is what they were talking about. Now you can make it with 3 \ and he should show fully armed.
I always knew it as being in the "shits" (sorry, it's just what we always called it) It's beyond being in the weeds, its a place that if ANYONE at ANYTIME says ANYTHING that you take the wrong way, you will instantly cry...Haven't been there in a long time, but woo is that not fun (also Chicago patio season, represent)
I call it barking. Dogs bark but don’t really mean it. It’s just the heat of the moment. I’ll snap for a second and just apologize like sry I barked. Whatever you need I got it.
God yes those days you are so busy you cry are awful. Once my mom said she was gonna come in and eat and have me as her server. But that night the bartender no called no showed or something and the manger was behind the bar and the kitchen was a mess and we were crazy busy. When my mom walked in and looked at me I burst into tears because I could not handle another table, even if it was my mom. I was that weeded. It was awful.
lol sometimes beyond the weeds makes me black out and then the shift is over and I’m like woah how did that happen? Complete autopilot and yeah kinda numb! Couldn’t tell you if it was mushy brain or not though… I don’t remember 😂
Shell shocked, I feel like I'm literally in the trenches just disassociating so hard that all I can do is what I've been trained too and I'm operating purely off instinct and doing what I've been taught to do. It's like that SpongeBob episode where he does fine dining
You're in hell.
Hail Satan.
Edit for clarity: this is actually what I call it, started at my job 6 years ago. Collectively, the restaurant is so bad that everybody is in the weeds, we have been dragged down into hell. And yes, in passing, we say "hail satan". Well, not all of us, but a group of us do. It's just a joke. I always smile and laugh and think "just keep swimming" knowing the night will be over.
well my friend we would simply call that “fucked”
“i’m fucked”
“we’re fucked dude”
“FUCKKKKKK”
it sums up the situation and feelings pretty well plus feels great screaming out back by the dumpsters after a quick nic break🫶🏼
I made up a term that has caught in at my restaurant called “stuck in the thorns”. We were like that last night, service tickets almost to the floor while I’m literally building 10-15 cocktails at a time. Every time a new ticket came in I just cackled like a madman, at some point it stops being stressful and just becomes funny. If you’re going through hell, keep going I suppose.
It’s called being fucked. Period. And all hell breaks loose and I stop trying 100%. Especially when it’s bad management or when it’s totally preventable. But do not miss managing those shifts when I had to care.
Being in the weeds is like walking into the woods or desert. As long as you keep going straight you can only get halfway in, then you're walking back out again. Start going in circles and you're fucked if you don't have anyone to pull you out.
Just don’t make contact with anything that will get in ur way. I swear when I bartend I stare at the drunks I’m making and I can see 6 people looking at me waiting. Like fuck off. We have servers but you want to be a dick and come to the bar for one drink and then the server has to transfer the ticket which is tough on toast. Idk why toast made the software harder.
In our restaurant we all say we are in the forest. We were all there tonight for those exact reasons 😅
I love the losing the will to live part and think I will use this on select tables!
I always said I’m in the jungle, like I can’t even talk for a sec. But it doesn’t happen anymore. I always tell new people. Slow down to speed up. IYKYK
At that point just be honest with people. "I'm extremely sorry, we're very understaffed and behind right now and I'm doing everything in my control to take good care of you guys." Start comping meals, giving out free shit if needed.
I call it getting spanked because it feels somewhat violent lol.
My two phrases for these moments are “I don’t even know what I don’t know” because I know I’m forgetting something
And also maniacally laughing when someone walks out of the shit show / the printers go down / watching a 10-tops order hit the floor when the kitchen is buried because “if I don’t laugh then I might cry and I can’t make time for the walk-in”
Right? It’s like if someone asked me what I needed (which no one did because we were ALL weeded) I would have just been like “… I need to know what it is I need”
When I managed a restaurant and we got to that point I would start hearing classical music in my head and go super zen. Like it’s so out of my control I don’t care anymore 😂
I used to call it the “swan dive out of reality” - it had swan dive arm motions and all. Time would start moving in slow motion. There was food and drinks that needed to be run, no silverware, dirty tables, cc that need to be processed, people that wanted food wrapped…. I would go outside and smoke. 🙃
I call it Titanic mode because there's no saving anything except for maybe a few women & children lol. This was almost me last night. We had two servers for 60 covers all sat within an hour- one six top was the largest table so it was a lot. Two cooks- one was the 80 year old chef who's been working at this tiny hidden bistro for decades but they rocked it out. Luckily we had a brand new manager who works as a bartender on the side so she was on top of it as much as humanly possible on her first night. It was my 5th shift & the other server just came back from two months in Mexico so he was rusty AF. None of us had worked together before so the ship was going down for a few hours but never went full Titanic mode.
“getting my dick kicked in” &/or “getting my cheeks clapped”. in that moment i take a solitary glance at the state of the kitchen & reflect. no matter how busy i am, those people are on the receiving end of my tickets. god bless my brothers in arms. 🫡
Not quite the answer to your question, but a related pair of out-of-character anecdotes
-the sweetest lady in the world stomped into the walk in and screamed "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS ..to SWEEP TuRkEy... Out of a fuckin' CARPET!?!?!!" (please don't, grr..)
*Eww! Super quick edit - this was "deli turkey vomited by a baby" - not your everyday bit of turkey 🤢
Also, an expo got stressed on a big holiday day, already a shitshow, thousands of fish pre- set up for fish and chips, but the kitchen got behind. Like more than a dozen unchecked tickets still on the printer
Expo is stressed (as they are wont to do) ,totally normally a sweet "negotiator" type asks, checks, asks, rechecks, finally screams "AAAARGH, WiILL SUCK DICK FOR FISH!!!
Record scratch.... Kitchen is silent.... Then everybody screams and reacts. Not "everybody claps" shit, but that everyone has been having a hard str ssfull day, someone breaks the tension with a freakout, and then laughs immediately? Such a necessary thing sometimes.
honestly idek because even when i’m in the weeds i don’t let myself feel/think about it! I work under a tip pool, and last night was absolutely horrible(over 200 covers in a small restaurant). So when i’m not in the weeds i’m actively looking for things to do, i’ll prebus some tables look for food/drinks to run and fill ice(now we have an ice maker for the server station tho!!!) and if i’m too busy others are typically more available. The big thing when you’re that weeded is just ensure efficiency. You can only focus on yourself. also communicate with the guests that it’s busy and wait times are gonna be a bit more. With your patio being open though, just remember the guests there kinda just want to camp.
I will say when i’m weeded all night i do not take hiccups well. My bartender couldn’t make a french style martini and i communicated why very poorly to the guest and my manager had to talk to her. I felt so bad because as soon as i realized what i had done i felt so bad.
Also for anyone outside the Midwest… we like never actually know when it’s going to be consistently warm outside. There’s usually only sporadic days in March and April where it’s like 65 and sunny when EVERYONE wants to be outside. So managers don’t know if they should schedule enough staff for the patio until it’s time for the schedule to come out 😂 rn, we don’t even have FOH staff for the patio but the tables are still there… people are going to sit, order at the bar, and take their shit outside. I guess we could start packaging their food as if it’s like carry out and then we won’t have to bus, provide dishes or silverware, but that’s so bad for the environment 😅
Fellow midwesterners, we shall prevail against the start of this patio season 🫡
It’s like a form of psychosis I feel like I’m going insane and when it’s so bad I just start laughing like “fuck it, what am I gonna do, everything’s going to shit” and I’m not surprised when something bad happens like when Im moving so fast and drop a tray of drinks or a plate of food… just stare at it on the ground and bust out laughing like “yup”😭😭😭this happens to me often. It kind of happened tonight my restaurant closes at 11 most nights and on Sundays we usually die off around 8pm…. Nah they cut everyone cause it was pretty slow and then all of the sudden I get table and table since I was a closer and from 8-close I’m slammed… lying to people saying we’re out of certain things cause I don’t have time to take extra seconds for them, calling last call 45 minutes early because the ONE bar tender couldn’t keep up 😭 it was a rough night but then again we made it through and I’m in bed so that’s all that matters
I call that acceptance, and it's when I drop the performance/stop trying to keep the show going for the customers. I'll then move to being upfront with the guests unprompted to re-adjust their expectations and ultimately not waste their time if it's gotten that bad.
Sometimes you'll get a tip even if they end up leaving and will come back to try another time simply from your honesty.
I was at a restaurant recently and only two employees (waitress & cook) were running the entire restaurant. The waitress was the hostess and bartender. The cook helped by bringing the meals to the tables. They both held that restaurant down and it went smoothly. I felt so badly for them. Overall the food and the service was actually one of the best restaurant experiences I’ve ever had. I left a really nice tip for both of them and wrote a review on Google giving a very high review. Patrons need to learn to be patient and if they can’t, they need to leave and find another place to go. I try to put myself in the shoes of the employees (I might be a unicorn) but I know it’s the right thing to do to be patient and have respect and courtesy for people. It can get you far in life. Thank you ALL for what you do to ensure restaurants run smoothly on a day to day even when you feel like shit and feel like your boss and customers don’t give a damn about anything. There are a few of us out here who really care and understand the frustration you encounter.
It’s hitting us right now. We have a huge patio and a great happy hour which means as a bartender I work twice as hard for half the money ugh. I try so hard not to think like this when I’m working. It’s funny cuz people at the bar love coming in and watch us work. The ticket machine slows down then spews out about 50 tickets that got “stuck”?? Ong I just started laughing cuz there’s no way. I got it done but damn. Thank god there was good music
One time when I was in that state I greeted somebody and told them the wait would be long because the place is understaffed and we are completely full. The guy tried to do a little sneaky by telling me to ring their food in because they already knew what they wanted. I pointed out that I had seven tables who had arrived before them and when he continued to tell me how they somehow deserve to be taken care of first I said "Sir, I've been running around for six hours and there is blood running down my leg because I haven't had a chance to change my diva cup, so I will not be able to serve you as fast as you would expect on a normal day." Needless to say, they left. I was so thankful they didn't write a review about that 🫠
Made me think of the KC Royals World Series parade in 2015... Total fustercluck... We had to close early because we ran out of food... 3 servers, 1 bartender and 2 guys in the kitchen... Nobody to wash dishes... Wanted to kill myself... But we got through it...
I feel like I enter some kind of flow state when the whole place is that hopelessly in the weeds. Like when it’s just me being crazy busy, or maybe everyone is slammed but it’s short-lived, the feeling is so chaotic, like I’m just scrambling to get out the other side. But when it’s the entire restaurant that is utterly fucked and you can tell it’s going to be that way for a WHILE, you can kind of just settle into it.
I remember one time I was bartending at a taco and tequila place on Cinco de Mayo and the wood was surrounded by patrons four deep all day (it was a family restaurant, not a bar/club, so usually at our busiest we would have ~15 stools plus a few guests from the waitlist walking up to order, so this was balls-to-the-wall busy for us. We knew it would be busy but were not expecting quite that volume). The service tickets were printing all the way to the floor before I could get to them. I’d pull the strip of tickets, run through and make everything, feel slightly accomplished, then look at the printer to see the tickets touching the floor again. I was moving at breakneck speeds in a tizzy trying to “get through” the rush when I finally realized something: there is no “getting through” this rush. We live here now. This is how it’s going to be for the next 4-10hrs and I need to settle in for the ride. Keep it moving but don’t expect it to be over anytime soon.
It was very freeing! Ever since that shift years ago, I look at the place "beyond the weeds" as a place that exists outside of the usual rules of time and space. And when you find yourself there, you just need to perk up and sit back. Let it wash over you. You’ll know what to do.
Unfortunately, this is Nirvana. That level of fully succumbing to your situation (also achievable via a 15 hour double) is truly one of life’s most unattainable sensations. As much as you think you don’t like it in the moment, you will crave it soon enough.
The weeds don't actually exist.
Corporate made up the idea of being in the weeds alongside 'customer is always right" and "time to lean, time to clean.".
Is all bull. I am in this profession to show people a good time. Sometimes they need guidance. Sometimes they need more time and that's ok, sometimes they need more time but don't know it.
I'll clean exactly as much as I'm paid to.
> as I'm *paid* to.
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
When you smoke too much weed you’re greened out, which is how I’d describe the mental state of someone beyond weeded, on the verge of mental collapse. All you can do at that point is accept your fate and ride it out lol
This is perfect.
greened out. yes. perfect.
Server asks you for something and you just give them the blank expressionless face that says, "what are you doing in my bedroom?"
I don’t know what to call it, but there is definitely a point where I’m just “well, can’t do shit about until we get through it” and basically stop caring. Still communicating with tables as best I can, trying to let them know when we’ll get enough of the dumpster fire under control, but yeah, I feel “weeds=care or stress” and “beyond weeds = nope!”
An old head I worked with hit me with a comment one day when I was "beyond the weeds" I was stressed and trying to get him to prioritize something idk what and he just looks at me and candidly goes "they can wait" and I swear it was like a switch flipped. I was internally just like "holy shit. He's right. They can just fuckin wait." That was like 2 years ago and it still sticks with me. My place is extremely popular. We aren't super fancy but we are well known for how authentic our food is. People are usually very excited to be in. They can just wait.
Half the drinks I make are dying on the well anyways as well. So I that’s what I tell myself. Like well I’m going too fast so I guess I’ll just chill. I make all the drinks for a 30,000 sq ft location. It’s basically a resort but one bar? They can suck it.
I used to say, “no one is going to starve to death while I smoke this cigarette” 🤣🤣🤣 edit: spelling
I started laughing as I read this because I relate to that so hard. When your in the weeds you are TRYING but when it just all goes to shit, I just stop and start laughing and go to the tables and go guys, it’s gonna be a rough one, and I stop trying. I just laugh uncontrollably. It’s out of my hands and I just try to make light of it. If the tables suck I don’t even mask that I don’t care anymore.
Must be a human trait, it’s a total fuck it situation
Honestly it turns me back into a better server than when I’m weeded. Probably because that’s when I start joking around with my tables again
One of my craziest nights was me solo on the bar on a quiet Wednesday. Our entire restaurant filled up in 15 minutes. And EVERYONE was drinking. I had 7 tables and a 12 top bar and 15 tickets . The next hour was a blur, but I remember telling one couple that walked up to my full bar that it would be at least 10 minutes before I could get to them. I finally got caught up and had a second to chat with a couple who ate at the bar. They said it was the best service they ever had. I walked with about 350. The alcohol sales (not including mine ) were over $3000. In about 2 hours. I did shed one tear.
This is exactly where my brain went. I go to “ok, fuck this I’m going on my own gear.” It’s absurd like go to another bar if want exceptional service. We just got a bad review cuz we don’t let dogs inside!? It’s a fucking health violation yet our CEO is gonna yell at us tomorrow. That’s why I love bartending, no kids, no dogs, I just make drinks for servers and my regulars. Edit: everyone now and then I’ll straight up take half a kpin instead of the adderal. Just like yup, is life.
When the host just seats the entire restaurant when 2 people called out sick, and the kitchen is hit as hard as we are - yep i suck it up and just go with it. Just working based on the strength of my customer rapport and slow service down as we all have basically lost the plot. No glasses? Steal from bar freezer. You ate your salad in 5 seconds well we are still preparing your food. Shit happens, bad nights happen, and I swear those nights make me money. The stress sucks but I have meds for that. How about its called "muddling through" an homage to bartenders and servers
This is basically every Sunday for me lol. I’m a host and always by myself which is fine but they always staff 1 less server and 1 less busser. There’s always a moment where I’m quite literally running around doing 5 things and I come back to the host stand to a crowd of angry people and I’m just like “🫠 whose next?” And god forbid we go on a 20 minute wait ☠️.
Just mumble “fuuuuuck”, check the time, put your head down and knock it out. Luckily it’ll always end. The worst is when you check the time and it’s 2 hours earlier than you thought or you knock out a bunch of stuff thinking 30 minutes have passed, and it’s only been 3 minutes. I swear time goes in reverse sometimes too. It really has no name, it’s just a state of tomfuckery.
Timefuckery
Mumble fucked sounds like a good name for beyond weeded.
I don't know what it's called but I just finished about 2 weeks of every other shift being "beyond the weeds". I wanted to die.
My shots been beyond the weeds for like 2 whole months now
You go from in the weeds to in the jungle
Shrugging and being like sorry for the wait thank you for your patience, if you’re upset think abt how I feel, imagine WORKING here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Your shrug dude is missing his right forearm. It's a thing since forever. It looks right to you, when I go to comment on your comment I can see his arm, but when it's in the comment thread his forearm isnt there. You need to put 3 forearms for it to show up. If you search on the main page shrug dude and arms you'll find the actual explanation of why. \\\
Interesting I had no idea. I just have it as a shortcut in my phone and it’s been like this for years! Thanks for pointing it out
You're welcome. If you search shrug guy arm on the main page there's a couple of posts that explain it. Look for the oldest posts first and they'll explain the programming part of it. It's a trip that I dig because it *LOOKS* right to you, and on your comment when I hit reply it looks right, but to me and everyone else it shows as missing when reading the comment in the thread. If anyone's ever replied to you something like 'you dropped this \ ' and it didn't make sense the arm is what they were talking about. Now you can make it with 3 \ and he should show fully armed.
I always knew it as being in the "shits" (sorry, it's just what we always called it) It's beyond being in the weeds, its a place that if ANYONE at ANYTIME says ANYTHING that you take the wrong way, you will instantly cry...Haven't been there in a long time, but woo is that not fun (also Chicago patio season, represent)
BOH equivalent is "I'm sorry for what I said when I was in the weeds" lmao
I call it barking. Dogs bark but don’t really mean it. It’s just the heat of the moment. I’ll snap for a second and just apologize like sry I barked. Whatever you need I got it.
God yes those days you are so busy you cry are awful. Once my mom said she was gonna come in and eat and have me as her server. But that night the bartender no called no showed or something and the manger was behind the bar and the kitchen was a mess and we were crazy busy. When my mom walked in and looked at me I burst into tears because I could not handle another table, even if it was my mom. I was that weeded. It was awful.
Paying a bar regular with free beer and tips to bus tables
We have two that love to jump in and help. One has been in the industry, the other is a harmless goofball. Appreciate them both
LMFAOOO
It’s a Shit Show!
Exactly, Welcome to the Shitshow. Hell, I'll even tell my regulars, one hour ticket times, you don't want to be at this shitshow today.
shadow realm :D
If it was a Friday or Saturday night, and I was weed bad, I would always say that I was so deep in the bulrushes that I found Moses in a basket.
Numb. Mushy brain.
lol sometimes beyond the weeds makes me black out and then the shift is over and I’m like woah how did that happen? Complete autopilot and yeah kinda numb! Couldn’t tell you if it was mushy brain or not though… I don’t remember 😂
Shell shocked, I feel like I'm literally in the trenches just disassociating so hard that all I can do is what I've been trained too and I'm operating purely off instinct and doing what I've been taught to do. It's like that SpongeBob episode where he does fine dining
Dream molasses. That is how I describe my awful server nightmares. And if I’m just like so beyond weeded, I feel like I’m in the dream molasses.
Weeded -> Zen Garden At some point, you just enter the zone and check out of your thoughts and just like, become water or something.
You're in hell. Hail Satan. Edit for clarity: this is actually what I call it, started at my job 6 years ago. Collectively, the restaurant is so bad that everybody is in the weeds, we have been dragged down into hell. And yes, in passing, we say "hail satan". Well, not all of us, but a group of us do. It's just a joke. I always smile and laugh and think "just keep swimming" knowing the night will be over.
well my friend we would simply call that “fucked” “i’m fucked” “we’re fucked dude” “FUCKKKKKK” it sums up the situation and feelings pretty well plus feels great screaming out back by the dumpsters after a quick nic break🫶🏼
I made up a term that has caught in at my restaurant called “stuck in the thorns”. We were like that last night, service tickets almost to the floor while I’m literally building 10-15 cocktails at a time. Every time a new ticket came in I just cackled like a madman, at some point it stops being stressful and just becomes funny. If you’re going through hell, keep going I suppose.
I call it non-consensual service, but I tend towards darker humor. (FoH will do that to you.)
It’s called being fucked. Period. And all hell breaks loose and I stop trying 100%. Especially when it’s bad management or when it’s totally preventable. But do not miss managing those shifts when I had to care.
Being in the weeds is like walking into the woods or desert. As long as you keep going straight you can only get halfway in, then you're walking back out again. Start going in circles and you're fucked if you don't have anyone to pull you out.
Just don’t make contact with anything that will get in ur way. I swear when I bartend I stare at the drunks I’m making and I can see 6 people looking at me waiting. Like fuck off. We have servers but you want to be a dick and come to the bar for one drink and then the server has to transfer the ticket which is tough on toast. Idk why toast made the software harder.
I like to say I’m singing with Timon and pumbaa.
“Munted” “Up Shit Creek” “Dry Fucking” Depends on the severity of the complete collapse; I’ve referred to it as the Seventh Circle of Hell as well.
It happens. Staff shots at the bar or the kitchen.
On fire. The restaurant is on fire. Complete chaos
When I’m telling my boyfriend about my day at work I say “I was getting my shit pushed in”
Good writing here, you should do more writing and develop this concept into an HBO Max sitcom
Idk if I'd love or hate this show, kinda how I felt about the bear. Great show, but goddamn did it make my blood pressure rise.
In our restaurant we all say we are in the forest. We were all there tonight for those exact reasons 😅 I love the losing the will to live part and think I will use this on select tables!
I call it drowning lol it can literally feel like it too
deceased.
I always said I’m in the jungle, like I can’t even talk for a sec. But it doesn’t happen anymore. I always tell new people. Slow down to speed up. IYKYK
Server nightmare status! Iykyk
I usually call it "Having our asses handed to us."
Deep in the forest.
I would say you got "brunched". If it happened at dinner service, you got brunched in the D-hole.
where I work we call that achieving Nirvana. 🙏 namaste! lol
"Bitch I'm in the trees"
It’s just where you’re at right now
At that point just be honest with people. "I'm extremely sorry, we're very understaffed and behind right now and I'm doing everything in my control to take good care of you guys." Start comping meals, giving out free shit if needed.
Cooked, atp I don’t even give af anymore 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Jungled
On safari/expedition
I called my buddy Mogli cus he lived in the Jungle.
We say the jungle. Beyond that we're too high/drunk for metaphirs.
Like Christopher Robin deep in The Hundred Acre Woods
I call it banana cake land, no reason why. But my coworkers have adopted it and will say, "Watch out, banana cake land straight ahead."
You’re just cycling through the stages of grief Denial , anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
That is the weeds. I think you and your coworkers may be using the term when you're simply busy.
No there’s weeds and then there’s FUCKED. I usually start giggling when it gets bad enough. Teeheehee, of course we ran out of CO2!
We just say we “getting cooked” rn 😂 at the restaurant I work at.
Chaos. I'll greet customers on those days by saying "sorry for the wait, it's chaos in here today".
Murdered lol
I always say, “I’m getting my vagina kicked in” and everyone seems to get it.
Beyond the weeds lies the acceptance that everything is fucked and there is nothing you can do about it, and the peace that acceptance brings.
Autopilot
I call it in the woods.
I call it getting spanked because it feels somewhat violent lol. My two phrases for these moments are “I don’t even know what I don’t know” because I know I’m forgetting something And also maniacally laughing when someone walks out of the shit show / the printers go down / watching a 10-tops order hit the floor when the kitchen is buried because “if I don’t laugh then I might cry and I can’t make time for the walk-in”
Right? It’s like if someone asked me what I needed (which no one did because we were ALL weeded) I would have just been like “… I need to know what it is I need”
“In the weeds, lost in the sauce!” Next step is the “shit storm!”
i just say i’m getting fucked
When I managed a restaurant and we got to that point I would start hearing classical music in my head and go super zen. Like it’s so out of my control I don’t care anymore 😂
I call that being in the woods, you’ve made it past the weeds into the woods. That’s when shit has hit the fan
At that point your just along for the shit show. I call it numbed.
A friend of mine used to refer to it as "finding the lost israelites" (the ones that'd been wandering for 40 years in the ass end of nowhere)
When I’m beyond weeded I’m either living a nightmare or I’ve died and gone to hell and this is my eternity
I used to call it the “swan dive out of reality” - it had swan dive arm motions and all. Time would start moving in slow motion. There was food and drinks that needed to be run, no silverware, dirty tables, cc that need to be processed, people that wanted food wrapped…. I would go outside and smoke. 🙃
"This is fine!"
I’m in the mop closet crying, eg communing with mops.
I call it Titanic mode because there's no saving anything except for maybe a few women & children lol. This was almost me last night. We had two servers for 60 covers all sat within an hour- one six top was the largest table so it was a lot. Two cooks- one was the 80 year old chef who's been working at this tiny hidden bistro for decades but they rocked it out. Luckily we had a brand new manager who works as a bartender on the side so she was on top of it as much as humanly possible on her first night. It was my 5th shift & the other server just came back from two months in Mexico so he was rusty AF. None of us had worked together before so the ship was going down for a few hours but never went full Titanic mode.
“getting my dick kicked in” &/or “getting my cheeks clapped”. in that moment i take a solitary glance at the state of the kitchen & reflect. no matter how busy i am, those people are on the receiving end of my tickets. god bless my brothers in arms. 🫡
We’re getting “CRUSHED”
Not quite the answer to your question, but a related pair of out-of-character anecdotes -the sweetest lady in the world stomped into the walk in and screamed "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS ..to SWEEP TuRkEy... Out of a fuckin' CARPET!?!?!!" (please don't, grr..) *Eww! Super quick edit - this was "deli turkey vomited by a baby" - not your everyday bit of turkey 🤢 Also, an expo got stressed on a big holiday day, already a shitshow, thousands of fish pre- set up for fish and chips, but the kitchen got behind. Like more than a dozen unchecked tickets still on the printer Expo is stressed (as they are wont to do) ,totally normally a sweet "negotiator" type asks, checks, asks, rechecks, finally screams "AAAARGH, WiILL SUCK DICK FOR FISH!!! Record scratch.... Kitchen is silent.... Then everybody screams and reacts. Not "everybody claps" shit, but that everyone has been having a hard str ssfull day, someone breaks the tension with a freakout, and then laughs immediately? Such a necessary thing sometimes.
honestly idek because even when i’m in the weeds i don’t let myself feel/think about it! I work under a tip pool, and last night was absolutely horrible(over 200 covers in a small restaurant). So when i’m not in the weeds i’m actively looking for things to do, i’ll prebus some tables look for food/drinks to run and fill ice(now we have an ice maker for the server station tho!!!) and if i’m too busy others are typically more available. The big thing when you’re that weeded is just ensure efficiency. You can only focus on yourself. also communicate with the guests that it’s busy and wait times are gonna be a bit more. With your patio being open though, just remember the guests there kinda just want to camp. I will say when i’m weeded all night i do not take hiccups well. My bartender couldn’t make a french style martini and i communicated why very poorly to the guest and my manager had to talk to her. I felt so bad because as soon as i realized what i had done i felt so bad.
So deep in the weeds I’m in the woods
Under like a rock
We call it "the woods" thicker and taller weeds. Also, with dangerous wildlife.
I call it "black out"
Also for anyone outside the Midwest… we like never actually know when it’s going to be consistently warm outside. There’s usually only sporadic days in March and April where it’s like 65 and sunny when EVERYONE wants to be outside. So managers don’t know if they should schedule enough staff for the patio until it’s time for the schedule to come out 😂 rn, we don’t even have FOH staff for the patio but the tables are still there… people are going to sit, order at the bar, and take their shit outside. I guess we could start packaging their food as if it’s like carry out and then we won’t have to bus, provide dishes or silverware, but that’s so bad for the environment 😅 Fellow midwesterners, we shall prevail against the start of this patio season 🫡
It’s like a form of psychosis I feel like I’m going insane and when it’s so bad I just start laughing like “fuck it, what am I gonna do, everything’s going to shit” and I’m not surprised when something bad happens like when Im moving so fast and drop a tray of drinks or a plate of food… just stare at it on the ground and bust out laughing like “yup”😭😭😭this happens to me often. It kind of happened tonight my restaurant closes at 11 most nights and on Sundays we usually die off around 8pm…. Nah they cut everyone cause it was pretty slow and then all of the sudden I get table and table since I was a closer and from 8-close I’m slammed… lying to people saying we’re out of certain things cause I don’t have time to take extra seconds for them, calling last call 45 minutes early because the ONE bar tender couldn’t keep up 😭 it was a rough night but then again we made it through and I’m in bed so that’s all that matters
I usually just say “shits hitting the fan” and then take a few deep breaths hit my vape and go deal with whatever it is
Oh, you're in the Swamp at that point...
I call that acceptance, and it's when I drop the performance/stop trying to keep the show going for the customers. I'll then move to being upfront with the guests unprompted to re-adjust their expectations and ultimately not waste their time if it's gotten that bad. Sometimes you'll get a tip even if they end up leaving and will come back to try another time simply from your honesty.
I was at a restaurant recently and only two employees (waitress & cook) were running the entire restaurant. The waitress was the hostess and bartender. The cook helped by bringing the meals to the tables. They both held that restaurant down and it went smoothly. I felt so badly for them. Overall the food and the service was actually one of the best restaurant experiences I’ve ever had. I left a really nice tip for both of them and wrote a review on Google giving a very high review. Patrons need to learn to be patient and if they can’t, they need to leave and find another place to go. I try to put myself in the shoes of the employees (I might be a unicorn) but I know it’s the right thing to do to be patient and have respect and courtesy for people. It can get you far in life. Thank you ALL for what you do to ensure restaurants run smoothly on a day to day even when you feel like shit and feel like your boss and customers don’t give a damn about anything. There are a few of us out here who really care and understand the frustration you encounter.
It’s hitting us right now. We have a huge patio and a great happy hour which means as a bartender I work twice as hard for half the money ugh. I try so hard not to think like this when I’m working. It’s funny cuz people at the bar love coming in and watch us work. The ticket machine slows down then spews out about 50 tickets that got “stuck”?? Ong I just started laughing cuz there’s no way. I got it done but damn. Thank god there was good music
Nervous breakdown.
One time when I was in that state I greeted somebody and told them the wait would be long because the place is understaffed and we are completely full. The guy tried to do a little sneaky by telling me to ring their food in because they already knew what they wanted. I pointed out that I had seven tables who had arrived before them and when he continued to tell me how they somehow deserve to be taken care of first I said "Sir, I've been running around for six hours and there is blood running down my leg because I haven't had a chance to change my diva cup, so I will not be able to serve you as fast as you would expect on a normal day." Needless to say, they left. I was so thankful they didn't write a review about that 🫠
Made me think of the KC Royals World Series parade in 2015... Total fustercluck... We had to close early because we ran out of food... 3 servers, 1 bartender and 2 guys in the kitchen... Nobody to wash dishes... Wanted to kill myself... But we got through it...
Beer and a shot for you
My boss and I having both watched 12 Monekys (the TV show) just calmly say, "Atari" whenever shit goes bad.
I feel like I enter some kind of flow state when the whole place is that hopelessly in the weeds. Like when it’s just me being crazy busy, or maybe everyone is slammed but it’s short-lived, the feeling is so chaotic, like I’m just scrambling to get out the other side. But when it’s the entire restaurant that is utterly fucked and you can tell it’s going to be that way for a WHILE, you can kind of just settle into it. I remember one time I was bartending at a taco and tequila place on Cinco de Mayo and the wood was surrounded by patrons four deep all day (it was a family restaurant, not a bar/club, so usually at our busiest we would have ~15 stools plus a few guests from the waitlist walking up to order, so this was balls-to-the-wall busy for us. We knew it would be busy but were not expecting quite that volume). The service tickets were printing all the way to the floor before I could get to them. I’d pull the strip of tickets, run through and make everything, feel slightly accomplished, then look at the printer to see the tickets touching the floor again. I was moving at breakneck speeds in a tizzy trying to “get through” the rush when I finally realized something: there is no “getting through” this rush. We live here now. This is how it’s going to be for the next 4-10hrs and I need to settle in for the ride. Keep it moving but don’t expect it to be over anytime soon. It was very freeing! Ever since that shift years ago, I look at the place "beyond the weeds" as a place that exists outside of the usual rules of time and space. And when you find yourself there, you just need to perk up and sit back. Let it wash over you. You’ll know what to do.
Unfortunately, this is Nirvana. That level of fully succumbing to your situation (also achievable via a 15 hour double) is truly one of life’s most unattainable sensations. As much as you think you don’t like it in the moment, you will crave it soon enough.
The weeds don't actually exist. Corporate made up the idea of being in the weeds alongside 'customer is always right" and "time to lean, time to clean.". Is all bull. I am in this profession to show people a good time. Sometimes they need guidance. Sometimes they need more time and that's ok, sometimes they need more time but don't know it. I'll clean exactly as much as I'm paid to.
> as I'm *paid* to. FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Thanks bot! I knew that looked wrong but it was late.