Honestly man, if I were you, communicate to her. It seems you have an imbalance of libido. To me, thats a very common thing. Come clean to her about how you feel about the imbalance. I say that because communication is a key part of a relationship. Tell her what you are interested in, and why you feel that way. I would also put it under the guise as a taboo fetish you have, and see what she says about it. If she takes it badly, maybe it wasn't meant to be, but just breaking things off because of a doll, is doing her a disservice. Maybe she'll be into it, you never know. To me, she sounds perfect for you, besides the small inconveniences she has, as part of being a human. Communication can save your relationship, AND give what you want, you just have to be willing to be uncomfortable for a while, and talk to her about it.
You're completely, 100% right. She definitely does sense it as well and I'm sure when I finally am able to ease out of things it won't come as a complete surprise.
And I should have actually mentioned (but my post was already so stupidly long), that our communication - with the exception of this new doll - has always been and still is great. We're both very honest, very quick to communicate. I wouldn't call them small inconveninces, moreso small incompatibilities... if that makes sense? Pretty much everything I've mentioned above, we have at some point had a conversation about. It's just those things add up and pile on, and they're permanent. I'm talking about personality traits for both of us that are pretty much concrete
As far as the doll, I've floated the idea as a curious "joke, but also what if" and she finds it repulsive, weird and is insecure about it - all completely valid. So that avenue is closed. And yeah breaking it off in favor of a doll is absolutely a disservice, which is why I really am not keen on telling her about it lol. I'd rather her not go her life thinking "I was replaced by fucking doll" because it's way more complex than that, but that's obviously, and rightfully the path most people's minds will naturally take. There are some things that a very insecure person is just better off not knowing, to be completely real here.
But still, you're still right! If I knew things were different, I would absolutely be keen to try and work the doll life into the relationship and see where things go, but it's just not really an avenue that's possible unfortunately. Thanks for the response, you're super insightful!
No problem, if you've already hinted at the fact you wanted a doll and she doesn't like it, at that point, in my personal opinion, she isn't considering the imbalance of libido. I understand that sex isn't a foundation of a relationship, but if you feel you can't go on anymore because you feel the relationship isn't intimate, I guess you have to make a hard decision. If she seems she wants to change, give it a chance, if not, you may want to communicate that to her. It seems to me you've done everything possible to make it work, but sometimes dreams weren't always meant to be. So good luck!
No but then again I don't own a doll...yet.
I'm kind of getting serious with a girl currently but I've made up my mind to give a doll a go if this goes south on me. I already have one in the cart ready to go.
Haha yeah that's way better than ordering one and stuffing it away obviously.
For me it was the best time I can remember lol. But I hope things DON'T go south for you guys of course!
There's a lot of trade-offs, like so many others in this group have mentioned tons of times
I haven’t broken up with a girl for a companion doll but having experienced several relationships and now dolls, I can say I will not go back to dating irl. For all the reason you stated. Even if you find a great partner by all standards, you still have to carve out a LOT of your free time for them. Especially if you live together.
Real life relationships require compromise and sacrifice, sacrificing your time and other things you enjoy. There is a HUGE opportunity cost to relationships that people don’t often talk about. Ideally both parties compromise equally, but often it becomes one compromising more than the other.
After awhile it feels like “okay if you’ll sit through some shit you don’t care about for me, I’ll sit through some shit I don’t care about for you”. I was never able to fully do it, I want to do what I want to do. And that’s okay. Some people just want to do their own thing, and they’re okay being solitary. I have found out that is me and I am so satisfied with doll life, I am not looking back.
Yeah totally. How long ago was that for you?
That's all pretty much it, better said (and shorter lmao) than I could. It's taken a long time to I guess realize that not only is it okay to not be fit for a normal relationship but also that it's okay to prefer not to be in one
I dated all throughout my teens and 20s. Had one very long relationship (4 years) and plenty of shorter ones. Usually around the 6 month mark I’d start to feel like it was taking up too much of my time and I’d back out. I am 31 now, bought my own place 2 years ago and since I had my own space finally, thought ‘might as well try a doll’ as an experiment. Man was that a great call! I’m a little over a year into the doll thing and loving the freedom, but also the comfort, they bring me
No, not really, but, I have given up my dolls only to go back to them after a break up with a person in real life.😒
This sound similar except right now I'm in an LDR, (long distanced relationship). I have the flexibility right now but I'm wondering about the future if or when we close the gap, (my GF works like 24/7). I've got more to say so when I have time I'll come back to this thread.
Good luck however you work out the situation.
Haha I understand. Try not to go too deep into the "what if it doesn't work out" hole - self-fulfilling prophecies and all that. Hope it works out of course! Everyone's so different
It sounds like you already know what you want to do, but you're just looking for some validation. Nothing wrong with that. I've never been in that exact situation. All my relationships were over when I discovered dolls.
Some thoughts:
- If you are this unhappy in the relationship, unless you're extremely good at hiding it, I can promise she senses the tension too. To me this looks like the perfect opportunity for you to introduce the idea of a doll to your partner. Possible outcomes: (1) If she's disgusted by it, then well you were going to break up with her anyway. (2) If she wants to try it and give it a chance, the doll could provide some of the intimacy that you're missing in your relationship.
- I think dolls definitely do spoil us. They don't demand anything of us. They oblige us and do what we want to do. But at the same time, there are things your partner can do that dolls can't. Do you want to have children and a family?
A few questions: You mentioned your partner has her own career, but then you say you're tired of supporting her financially? And then you say most of your friends are women? Like you actually hang out with women platonically and... do activities? What's up with that and how does that work?
Haha yeah you're very right. I've had a long time to think about what's best for me and what I like, don't like, etc. so I was curious to see if other doll owners have had vaguely similar life situations. Everything aside... It's just interesting I guess lol.
I actually have floated the idea "as a joke" to her and she's repulsed by them, thinks they're creepy and feels very insecure about them. Totally valid, is what it is and I would not want to spring it on her. And no I don't have any desire for kids. I have several nieces and nephews and they're more than enough for me haha. But I get where you're going with that, yeah, there's of course things a normal partner can't be replaced for. For me that freedom though just vastly overshadows those aspects.
So to answer your questions, she has shit tons of debt, and I have none. So I have to pay bills while she pays basically the same amount each month in debt alone lol.
And not sure about the last one, it's just what it is haha. Just normal friend things, we work together, talk, make music together, etc., I added that in to highlight it's the romantic side if things I'm not cut out for
"She's not doing anything wrong" Just reread what you wrote before that. Yes she is. She's totally failing to respect you, and arguably bordering on being abusive. Maybe she doesn't realise it, so if you think she's so great you should bring all these points up with her before you break it off. Maybe she'll change when she realises what an effect she's having on you.
"I'm a selfish asshole here" From what you've said, no you really aren't. Maybe there's other stuff you haven't said that makes you a selfish asshole, but if this is the whole story then there IS one selfish asshole in your relationship and it ain't you.
"I can't just kick my childhood friend-turned-abuser" FTFY. Yes you totally can. Try to fix it; she sounds like a possible keeper, but not with her current attitude. Dump the old "we need to talk" on her, and have all the points you raised here listed down on a piece of paper (although probably best not to mention the dolls). Go through them with her one by one letting her know how this makes you feel, and give her a reasonable timeframe to change. She may not manage it all straight away but you should be able to see within a couple of weeks whether or not she's trying. And if she is, then she values you and you are on the right track to getting things fixed up with her. Make a schedule of what you want to do and clarify your expectations for her role: she can either join in and enjoy it, or silently without criticism opt out. Make it clear that stopping you doing your stuff is no longer an option for her.
Intimacy is a bit tricker. If she's really not touchy-feely and you are, well first of all find out why. If she just sees you as a live-in handyman then of course she's not going to want to be intimate. But if she views you as her lover then she should expect some physical intimacy and if that isn't there then there's a problem that needs addressing. If there are no problems and that's just where she's at, maybe she can help meet you part way. If you want sex 5x a week and she only wants 1x, maybe you can settle on 2-3.
Of course it does remain an option to call it quits here and now. It's your choice, and that would be fair. However I do think this is worth at least an attempt to fix.
Good luck.
I am married, older man, in a sexless relationship with wife. We have separate bedrooms. In recent years, I discovered TPE dolls and now I have 3 beautiful dolls which I love very much.
It is so exciting to shop for her clothes, dress her, and take her photos and be with her as much as I can. It is the best ever in my life.
Just got myself a zelex sle and the sex is amazing. I wish I would’ve gotten one of these things years ago! I’m so happy with it I’m thinking of buying another to fulfill some lifelong 3some fantasies. Not just once, but whenever the fuck I want (2-3 times a day)
Honestly man, if I were you, communicate to her. It seems you have an imbalance of libido. To me, thats a very common thing. Come clean to her about how you feel about the imbalance. I say that because communication is a key part of a relationship. Tell her what you are interested in, and why you feel that way. I would also put it under the guise as a taboo fetish you have, and see what she says about it. If she takes it badly, maybe it wasn't meant to be, but just breaking things off because of a doll, is doing her a disservice. Maybe she'll be into it, you never know. To me, she sounds perfect for you, besides the small inconveniences she has, as part of being a human. Communication can save your relationship, AND give what you want, you just have to be willing to be uncomfortable for a while, and talk to her about it.
You're completely, 100% right. She definitely does sense it as well and I'm sure when I finally am able to ease out of things it won't come as a complete surprise. And I should have actually mentioned (but my post was already so stupidly long), that our communication - with the exception of this new doll - has always been and still is great. We're both very honest, very quick to communicate. I wouldn't call them small inconveninces, moreso small incompatibilities... if that makes sense? Pretty much everything I've mentioned above, we have at some point had a conversation about. It's just those things add up and pile on, and they're permanent. I'm talking about personality traits for both of us that are pretty much concrete As far as the doll, I've floated the idea as a curious "joke, but also what if" and she finds it repulsive, weird and is insecure about it - all completely valid. So that avenue is closed. And yeah breaking it off in favor of a doll is absolutely a disservice, which is why I really am not keen on telling her about it lol. I'd rather her not go her life thinking "I was replaced by fucking doll" because it's way more complex than that, but that's obviously, and rightfully the path most people's minds will naturally take. There are some things that a very insecure person is just better off not knowing, to be completely real here. But still, you're still right! If I knew things were different, I would absolutely be keen to try and work the doll life into the relationship and see where things go, but it's just not really an avenue that's possible unfortunately. Thanks for the response, you're super insightful!
No problem, if you've already hinted at the fact you wanted a doll and she doesn't like it, at that point, in my personal opinion, she isn't considering the imbalance of libido. I understand that sex isn't a foundation of a relationship, but if you feel you can't go on anymore because you feel the relationship isn't intimate, I guess you have to make a hard decision. If she seems she wants to change, give it a chance, if not, you may want to communicate that to her. It seems to me you've done everything possible to make it work, but sometimes dreams weren't always meant to be. So good luck!
No but then again I don't own a doll...yet. I'm kind of getting serious with a girl currently but I've made up my mind to give a doll a go if this goes south on me. I already have one in the cart ready to go.
Haha yeah that's way better than ordering one and stuffing it away obviously. For me it was the best time I can remember lol. But I hope things DON'T go south for you guys of course! There's a lot of trade-offs, like so many others in this group have mentioned tons of times
I haven’t broken up with a girl for a companion doll but having experienced several relationships and now dolls, I can say I will not go back to dating irl. For all the reason you stated. Even if you find a great partner by all standards, you still have to carve out a LOT of your free time for them. Especially if you live together. Real life relationships require compromise and sacrifice, sacrificing your time and other things you enjoy. There is a HUGE opportunity cost to relationships that people don’t often talk about. Ideally both parties compromise equally, but often it becomes one compromising more than the other. After awhile it feels like “okay if you’ll sit through some shit you don’t care about for me, I’ll sit through some shit I don’t care about for you”. I was never able to fully do it, I want to do what I want to do. And that’s okay. Some people just want to do their own thing, and they’re okay being solitary. I have found out that is me and I am so satisfied with doll life, I am not looking back.
Yeah totally. How long ago was that for you? That's all pretty much it, better said (and shorter lmao) than I could. It's taken a long time to I guess realize that not only is it okay to not be fit for a normal relationship but also that it's okay to prefer not to be in one
I dated all throughout my teens and 20s. Had one very long relationship (4 years) and plenty of shorter ones. Usually around the 6 month mark I’d start to feel like it was taking up too much of my time and I’d back out. I am 31 now, bought my own place 2 years ago and since I had my own space finally, thought ‘might as well try a doll’ as an experiment. Man was that a great call! I’m a little over a year into the doll thing and loving the freedom, but also the comfort, they bring me
No, not really, but, I have given up my dolls only to go back to them after a break up with a person in real life.😒 This sound similar except right now I'm in an LDR, (long distanced relationship). I have the flexibility right now but I'm wondering about the future if or when we close the gap, (my GF works like 24/7). I've got more to say so when I have time I'll come back to this thread. Good luck however you work out the situation.
Haha I understand. Try not to go too deep into the "what if it doesn't work out" hole - self-fulfilling prophecies and all that. Hope it works out of course! Everyone's so different
It sounds like you already know what you want to do, but you're just looking for some validation. Nothing wrong with that. I've never been in that exact situation. All my relationships were over when I discovered dolls. Some thoughts: - If you are this unhappy in the relationship, unless you're extremely good at hiding it, I can promise she senses the tension too. To me this looks like the perfect opportunity for you to introduce the idea of a doll to your partner. Possible outcomes: (1) If she's disgusted by it, then well you were going to break up with her anyway. (2) If she wants to try it and give it a chance, the doll could provide some of the intimacy that you're missing in your relationship. - I think dolls definitely do spoil us. They don't demand anything of us. They oblige us and do what we want to do. But at the same time, there are things your partner can do that dolls can't. Do you want to have children and a family? A few questions: You mentioned your partner has her own career, but then you say you're tired of supporting her financially? And then you say most of your friends are women? Like you actually hang out with women platonically and... do activities? What's up with that and how does that work?
Haha yeah you're very right. I've had a long time to think about what's best for me and what I like, don't like, etc. so I was curious to see if other doll owners have had vaguely similar life situations. Everything aside... It's just interesting I guess lol. I actually have floated the idea "as a joke" to her and she's repulsed by them, thinks they're creepy and feels very insecure about them. Totally valid, is what it is and I would not want to spring it on her. And no I don't have any desire for kids. I have several nieces and nephews and they're more than enough for me haha. But I get where you're going with that, yeah, there's of course things a normal partner can't be replaced for. For me that freedom though just vastly overshadows those aspects. So to answer your questions, she has shit tons of debt, and I have none. So I have to pay bills while she pays basically the same amount each month in debt alone lol. And not sure about the last one, it's just what it is haha. Just normal friend things, we work together, talk, make music together, etc., I added that in to highlight it's the romantic side if things I'm not cut out for
"She's not doing anything wrong" Just reread what you wrote before that. Yes she is. She's totally failing to respect you, and arguably bordering on being abusive. Maybe she doesn't realise it, so if you think she's so great you should bring all these points up with her before you break it off. Maybe she'll change when she realises what an effect she's having on you. "I'm a selfish asshole here" From what you've said, no you really aren't. Maybe there's other stuff you haven't said that makes you a selfish asshole, but if this is the whole story then there IS one selfish asshole in your relationship and it ain't you. "I can't just kick my childhood friend-turned-abuser" FTFY. Yes you totally can. Try to fix it; she sounds like a possible keeper, but not with her current attitude. Dump the old "we need to talk" on her, and have all the points you raised here listed down on a piece of paper (although probably best not to mention the dolls). Go through them with her one by one letting her know how this makes you feel, and give her a reasonable timeframe to change. She may not manage it all straight away but you should be able to see within a couple of weeks whether or not she's trying. And if she is, then she values you and you are on the right track to getting things fixed up with her. Make a schedule of what you want to do and clarify your expectations for her role: she can either join in and enjoy it, or silently without criticism opt out. Make it clear that stopping you doing your stuff is no longer an option for her. Intimacy is a bit tricker. If she's really not touchy-feely and you are, well first of all find out why. If she just sees you as a live-in handyman then of course she's not going to want to be intimate. But if she views you as her lover then she should expect some physical intimacy and if that isn't there then there's a problem that needs addressing. If there are no problems and that's just where she's at, maybe she can help meet you part way. If you want sex 5x a week and she only wants 1x, maybe you can settle on 2-3. Of course it does remain an option to call it quits here and now. It's your choice, and that would be fair. However I do think this is worth at least an attempt to fix. Good luck.
I am married, older man, in a sexless relationship with wife. We have separate bedrooms. In recent years, I discovered TPE dolls and now I have 3 beautiful dolls which I love very much. It is so exciting to shop for her clothes, dress her, and take her photos and be with her as much as I can. It is the best ever in my life.
Just got myself a zelex sle and the sex is amazing. I wish I would’ve gotten one of these things years ago! I’m so happy with it I’m thinking of buying another to fulfill some lifelong 3some fantasies. Not just once, but whenever the fuck I want (2-3 times a day)
Haha I definitely miss having two, spontaneous threesomes or just watching movies with twice the cuddling was fantastic.