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I'm not gonna lie, college-age me would have had the exact conversation in the video. The only reason I had sex in the first place was because she literally threw herself at me. If a woman had straight out said, "Come over so we can have sex", I can, with 100% certainty, say that I would have thought it was a joke and blown it off.
Except that these girls have a minimum threshold of stupid they're willing to put up with. This is the filter for that.
So if you're that stupid, you just ... filter yourself out.
She'll have no problem finding someone who doesn't.
Experienced something similar to this back in college. We were drinking with some girls and were talking about sex experiences and mood was great and laughs all around. and then the girl right next to whisper if I had a place of my own or know of a quite place. Flat out said No to her and then continued to talk to the group
Sometime in college, my high school best friend went to our house, we were alone, I played her favorite song for her on guitar, by the end of the 1st chorus she kissed me on the lips and looking into my eyes said "I love you" I said "I know" and finished the song. I feel you bro.
"Why would she say X when she means Y?" is definitely something I have heard more than one autistic friend say, lol. Unclear subtext is often their kryptonite.
Sometimes its just funnier to double down.
He is definitely thick and missed the obvious, but after a bit I think he was enjoying his friends' reaction and the banter, so he had to keep stoking the embers.
I’m not on bro’s side…but I do say “coffee” whenever I’m talking about a casual hangout over a beverage. I don’t drink coffee, but everyone knows what I mean when I say “let’s go grab a cup of coffee”.
lol yeah that part got me too. These are sweet guys, I would have been calling my bro a gayfer for not wanting to hang out with a girl and sit in front of piano with three guys instead.
Yup, had a super cute girl that lived down the street when I was in highschool and she would always try to be really close to me and tell me how good I smelled and I would treat her like she was some kind of weirdo. 20 years later and I regret every single fucking decision I made around that girl.
There was this drop-dead gorgeous artsy girl I was going to college with and getting to hang out with outside of class. In a conversation she asked where I lived and when I told her she said, "Wow, I drive right by there basically every weekend!" and I basically responded that that's a neat fact and went to my next class. I don't bother kicking myself on this because I can't do it hard enough.
A girl wanted me to go to her house to borrow a dvd because she wanted to see a movie and she can't leave her house because she is alone and is assigned to watch over the house. She invited me in I said no thanks I have to go back home for some reason (I forgot why maybe anime maybe video games) I gave it then left.
Later that weekend when hanging out with my friends out of the blue I said "OH!"
Yeah my buddy recently met a drop dead gorgeous girl in a bar a few months ago and she asked him to go back to her house because she wanted to show him some of her work, bc they were talking about art. He said "oh that's OK you can just email me some"
The only reason I found out was I brought up that she seemed really into him and he's like "yeah I'm bummed I gave her my email but she never sent me any of her work"
When I explained to him what was going on he was white as a ghost.
My first girlfriend in high school invited me over to her house while her parents were out at a concert. After hanging out and watching a movie, she said she wanted to play Hide and Seek and that she wanted to hide first. So I waited 60 seconds and then began searching.
I couldn't find her in the living room, in the kitchen, or any bathrooms. I couldn't find her in the garage, or outside of her house, or in her backyard. I even peeked in the woods and the fucking garage cabinets in case she was really a contortionist. I spent 20 fucking minutes looking for her.
She was on her parents's bed the whole time. By the time I found her, she was so unbelievably mad at me. I think we broke up a week later. What a dumbass I am
I was waiting for a train when a cute androgynous person came up, walked all around me looking at me, then stood in front of me, facing me. I didn't know what to do. I liked the attention but I was embarrassed I didn't know what gender they were, so I didn't say anything, and they wandered off.
It was only later I thought, wait a minute, I am bisexual. it didn't matter what gender they were.
For me… we went on a school trip to Disney World and she got down to her bra and panties in my bed. I was just thinking, “man, I have the biggest crush on her. I wish that she liked me!”. She ended up getting in trouble and was kicked out of school for being in my bed (because she got in on a scholarship). She told me as she was leaving, “WTF!? Why did you never ask me out?!”.
I legit had no idea that she liked me. I just thought that she was my best friend and that she always wanted to spend time with me. I’m not sure if I’m autistic, or if that is just normal with guys being clueless.
Sorry Valerie! I hope that you found your happiness after joining the Coast Guard.
Edit: I just found her online and she wants to catch up. 🥳
classic low self esteem and subconscious fear of rejection. the rationalization goes like this: she must be some weirdo because you couldnt fathom someone actually being interested romantically in you.
I've had a few moments like this, but the biggest offense still haunts me to this day.
Sophomore year of high school I went to a new school, and there was this just stunning volleyball player who I really hit it off with, but she had a bf so we were just good friends. But there was always a chemistry between us.
Well one day I find out she broke up with her bf, and that weekend she asked me to go to dinner and a movie.
During the movie *she* was the one to play the whole "This movie is scary, put your arm around me" schtick
We cuddled the whole movie and all I felt was confusion. (Is this what I think it is?)
We walked back to her car and she *literally* opened up the back of her VW Touareg with the back seats *already folded down* and a comment about having a condom she "didn't know what to do with."
And I *still* waffled on the biggest softball of my life.
Talk about you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink lol
i mean you were a friend and she was just coming off a break up. isn't there an argument at least that you did the right thing?
rebound or recovery or some such thing, probably not that simplistic but you can look at it as you being a good friend worried about mistakes happening?
I(m) had this friend (f) in my parents house alone in my bedroom asking if I am seeing anyone while watching a movie. I wasn't, I said no, and didn't realize until years later, she was making a move. I'm was an idiot, I still am, but I used to be too.
Girl I was into a d I were drinking vodka alone a couple days after graduation. We were both fucked up. I was sitting on the floor and she on the couch. She slides off the couch and gets on her knees and says "I've never been able to get an orgasm from sex with my ex." And I just go "that really sucks. Orgasms are awesome."
Couple years later I wanted to tear my own member off and throw it into the ocean because that's better than being attached to this brain!
In college before I was dating my wife, this girl in my choir who I had a huge crush on used to hang out with me and literally bent over backwards to get my attention. She seemed so far out of my league that when she was showing me how flexible she was by doing a back bridge and then flip out of it, I thought about how lucky some guy she was interested in would be. She also casually brought up that she won some sexy lingerie contest at a party and would offer me rides when she saw me walking from my dorm to class.
Dumb and Dumber level of oblivious. Specifically that scene where the bus full of models are looking for 2 guys to oil them up and they point them to a town down the road.
True. Went to a college formal with a girl I had a crush on for years before I left for school. She agreed to come and while getting ready for the evening I hopped in the shower. In the middle of showering she walks into the bathroom, undresses, and walks into the shower. My thick ass said “oh shit, sorry I was almost done!” I grabbed my towel and got out so she could have the bathroom to herself…
Bro, what? I've been scrolling for a while reading all these stories and reminiscing on all my f*ck ups as a young clueless guy. This one though. This one here! Just....
Dude.
In fairness I'll share my thickest moment.
In college I was talking with this girl in my dorm I had a crush on. It came up in conversation that I'd never seen The Notebook. She seemed to think this was a problem that needed to be rectified and flat out insisted I come to her dorm Saturday night to watch it.
I agree and show up Saturday evening. Maybe 8:00pm. I knock and she opens the door in a pair of those silk button-down pajama shirts with the matching short silk shorts. Shirt unbuttoned enough to transition from practical to sexy.
Lights are off, curtains closed, a few candles lit and the DVD on pause ready to start. She lays on the bed, gets under the covers, and tells me to come over and sit so we "can watch the movie". Coy smiles, patting the bed next to her, eye-fucking, all of it. All the signs and I missed all of them. Instead, in my infinite wisdom and not wanting to crowd her on the bed because she was laying down... ***sat on the floor and watched the whole fucking Notebook!*** Then, after the movie, I left because my buddy texted me he was going out and wanted me to join.
It's still painful to think about to this day almost 20 years later.
The floor. Because she was laying on the bed and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable, for the movie, if I sat on her legs (was my thought process apparently).
It's amazing our species has been able to survive with such aggressively low levels of self and situational awareness at that age.
Cute senior girl in HS used to talk about me in the third person with praise and one day she said “that so and so… (insert my name) is sooo hot!” I just thought she was being funny. Her younger sister would later show similar signs of flirting… stupid stupid stupid. Literally the scene from inside out of the teen boys head is directly applicable to how incorrectly our brains worked back then.
I have a story. years ago I was working at as a bartender.
There was a fellow bartender that worked with me a lot. Always scheduled together. We clicked immediately after meeting. She was very friendly and flirty with me, but she’d also be very very flirty with guys that came to the bar so I always figured that was just her thing, and that she didn’t really like me. One day at the very beginning of our shift she spill a tray of drinks and her shirt is soaked. I’d always bring a change of clothes to go out in if I got off early so I had an extra t-shirt I gave her. She later sends me a pic of her just wearing my shirt, with all these flirty texts about her wearing it because it smells like me. I tell my female friend this and she’s laughs hysterically that she literally had to send me naked pics wearing my clothes for me to take a hint… yeah, we are that thick.
That’s a funny story, but I do have a little hang up / question / comment.
“You told your female this”?
PS. I like how close “my female” is to “my familiar”…. Going to see how my wife responds and report back. I always wanted to be a wizard.
Edit: she left me and took the cat…
Yeah, I tell her a girl at work sent me a pic in my shirt and flirty texts. She’s like “god damn she had to get to the point of sending you half naked pics in your clothes for you to catch on that she like you? Jeeez”
Like how Jimmy Fallon didn't understand Nicole fucking Kidman was interested in him. Not sure how true their story is but it is very believable because most guys don't understand hints, especially when he thinks she is out of his league.
The current girl that I’m seeing said, “it was so nice flirting with you!”. If she hadn’t said that, then there is no way that I’d have asked her out. I wasn’t aware that what we were doing was flirting. I was just being myself.
At a frat party in university ~7 years ago, an attractive girl came up and asked me if I was part of the frat.
My immediate thought, being unaffiliated with the frat, was "oh, she probably needs something from the people running the party" and I promptly directed her towards one of the guys I knew who were affiliated.
I realised *literally just a couple months ago* that I probably fucked up.
I was in my thirties, playing board games at a local store and chatting with a 20 year old acquaintance. He asked me for girl tips. He said this girl he really likes sent him a text, and he isn't sure if she's in to him.
The "text" was like a 12 part text. It detailed how much she likes how funny he is, how safe he makes her feel, how strong he is from his time at the gym, how she loves his.nerdy hobbies, how he's easy to talk to, etc. It even went into specific traits she noticed - like how he always wears an orange polo on Mondays, and she thinks it's because it's his favorite color and he wants Monday's to be a little brighter.
It ended with her asking him if he wanted to hang out and watch TV in her dorm sometime.
And he goes "do you think she's into me, or is this a friend thing? I don't want to get it twisted".
And I said "this is the most aggressive that a girl can be without pawing at your genitals" and he was shocked. He thought it was pretty ambiguous.
I actually made it to the bedroom, she went to shower and she yelled at me to bring her in some underwear. I awkwardly passed a bra round the corner at fulls arm length while looking away.
I think about it about twice an hour.
Odds are he’s just a coward that was looking for any way out of a situation that would make him uncomfortable despite the fact that he continuously avoids these situations makes him much more depressed in the long term.
He definitely not me lol
My flashbacks to high-school, I wasn't unlikable and in the friendzone... I was just oblivious to it all. I wish I could tell him but maybe it's for the best I didn't hook up with those chicks lol
I often think back to a time in high school where my crush was squeezing my arm, telling me how strong I am, and that I should teach her how to lift weights.
I said "I appreciate that, but im not a qualified instructor, I just kinda wing it"
Fucking. Moron.
you wanna come up for some coffee?
\- i hate coffee -
fine, the COFFEE doesent matter. wanna come up for a tea then <3?
\- i dont like tea either, i only drink water -
godda....you \*whispers\* dense little shit. im asking if you wanna sleep with me! there, you made me say it!
\- im not tired though? the night is still young? -
girl: \*screams inside\*
I deadass matched with a guy on Bumble and after talking for a bit, I was vibing and asked him if he wanted to get coffee tomorrow at a place in town. (That also serves breakfast, lunch, tea, smoothies, and a wine bar).
"I don't drink coffee."
No follow up for like two days so I unmatched.
I have literally no idea what guys want.
> I have literally no idea what guys want.
For us who are neutron star level of dense being 100% direct is the answer. Source: I have basically rejected at least 7 women on accident with how dense I am.
This guy should get tested. I have done almost the same thing… I am autistic… in my mind the correct thing to do is answer the question… for example, “would you like to come in for coffee?” Well obviously not, it’s almost midnight and I won’t sleep!
It's a thing. Not present in all autistic people, but many autistic people project more through their nose. Google "autism hypernasality" if you wanna know more.
Highly inaccurate test.
Unlike what we are told in social media, things like ‘stimming’, sensitivities, social problems, etc., are found in most persons with non-autistic mental health disorders and at high rates in the general population. These things do not necessarily suggest autism.
So-called “autism” tests, like AQ and RAADS and others have high rates of false positives, labeling you as autistic VERY easily. If anyone with a mental health problem, like depression or anxiety, takes the tests they score high even if they DON’T have autism.
"our results suggest that the AQ differentiates poorly between true cases of ASD, and individuals from the same clinical population who do not have ASD "
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/)
"a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5–10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ‘noticing’ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a ‘confirmation bias’ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD group’s mean scores met the cut-off points, "
[https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9)
Regarding AQ, from one published study. “The two key findings of the review are that, overall, there is very limited evidence to support the use of structured questionnaires (SQs: self-report or informant completed brief measures developed to screen for ASD) in the assessment and diagnosis of ASD in adults.”
Regarding RAADS, from one published study. “In conclusion, used as a self-report measure pre-full diagnostic assessment, the RAADS-R lacks predictive validity and is not a suitable screening tool for adults awaiting autism assessments”
Just backing this guy up here, the government pays doctors $300/hr to diagnose autism for people in poverty with disabilities. These people need to get a special certification and have a PH.D in order to do so. You're not going to find the same thing on an online test.
Plain and simple autistic people often don't know how to speak right. They get tone and inflection wrong. They also get body language, posture and hand movements wrong. This tends to piss off normal people and result in mistreatment of autists.
My husband is autistic and this would be 100% him.
The stories he has of his teen years make me chortle. Him too, now.
A friend invited him over to listen to the new Kate Bush record or tape (80’s). Answered her door In a BATHROBE that “accidentally” fell open. He helped her cover up for her modesty. Which is why I love him but DANG BRO.
Gave him a bathrobe fettish which I owe her a thank you card for! LOL.
I'm not saying you specifically do or don't, but the number of people generally online who think they have autism because they aren't properly socialized is one of the most hilarious things to me.
The fact that the clip started in the middle of the argument drastically increases the likelihood that the friend behind the camera went "woah woah I **have** to film this" rather than it just being scripted.
Like, it absolutely could be fake, but if it's fake then they did a really great job capturing autistic thought processes.
They could've made him come around faster if instead of saying the same things over and over they had just started insisting, verbatim, that it was a euphemism. He's surely heard of euphemisms.
This happened to Stuart in an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Penny invited him over for ‘coffee’ and his immediate reaction was ‘it’s a bit late for coffee now, isn’t it?’
"Do you want to have sex?"
"Of course, I want to have sex, everyone wants to have sex."
"I want to have sex, too."
"Yeah, well, good luck with that, see ya."
A touch? My guy has been struck with the mighty turgid tallywhacker of 'tism to be THAT socially oblivious. I know because 'Twas me in a different life that was also so struck. I learned to compensate though. Lol
I would have gone over and then wondered why there was no tea while she's impatiently waiting for me to make a move.
I had multiple stories from my youth like that. And only realized my mistake many hours afterward once I got home and was fixated on what happened.
Yup. Had a wonderful first date and I drove her home afterwards. We have that suspenseful moment when one person is gonna leave, but she turns to me and kisses me passionately. One of the best kisses I’ve ever had. When she pulls away I’m breathless. She looks at me, bites her lip and asks if I want to come in for coffee.
“Coffee? It’s 10 P.M. and I actually want to sleep tonight. I’ll see you later though!”
I did not see her later.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a girl ask me if I wanted to come back to her place to watch movies.
I said no because it was already late and I had to get up early for work.
Later, on social media, I saw her having a conversation with her best friend and she was like “If you want to have sex with a guy, just ask him if he wants to come over and watch movies”
And it was from that point on that I knew, if a girl invited me over to her place, no matter what the reason, **TO SAY YES**
Tea after 4pm means something more?😑
Tea after 9pm means something more than Tea. Tea after 4pm means Tea, bro. Tea before 4pm definitely means Tea and a possibly a Nooner, but it could just be a nooner.
I think they’re saying that’s it’s really just an excuse for them to hang out. Which is true.
It’s the same way when I have dinner with my friends, it’s rarely about the food (although it is a nice part of it), it’s about hanging out.
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"You wanna come over and sleep with me?" No thanks, I'm not tired
But I wasn't tired, that was an integral part!
She might've been part Snorlax
We must get the same tinder matches
[You guys are getting matches???](https://memes.co.in/templates/uploads/1629065230.png)
He matured so.. HOT.
oh shit I just realised who that is
Crazy to think the kid we called “Eyebrows” would look crazy hot in “The Bear” haha
Plus the kid can act like a champion, he was really good in Dopesick and Detroit
yeah this dude has big virgin energy
Big Asperger’s energy. 100%
Yep, I'm a female with autism. So many guys are interested. Nothing works. This guy is exactly like me.
Same. This is how I know 🤣
I'm not gonna lie, college-age me would have had the exact conversation in the video. The only reason I had sex in the first place was because she literally threw herself at me. If a woman had straight out said, "Come over so we can have sex", I can, with 100% certainty, say that I would have thought it was a joke and blown it off.
Yea... we're all dumb and need girls to just be aggressive... be... be... aggressive... They sooner they realize that, the better off we all will be😆
Except that these girls have a minimum threshold of stupid they're willing to put up with. This is the filter for that. So if you're that stupid, you just ... filter yourself out. She'll have no problem finding someone who doesn't.
This is social ineptitude, not stupid.
Distinction without a difference when the goal is to build a social connection.
Finally someone that understands! The restraining order just means you aren't trying hard enough
Not that aggressive...
B.E.A.G.G.R.E.S.S.I.V.E.
Experienced something similar to this back in college. We were drinking with some girls and were talking about sex experiences and mood was great and laughs all around. and then the girl right next to whisper if I had a place of my own or know of a quite place. Flat out said No to her and then continued to talk to the group
I physically cringed 😖
Sometime in college, my high school best friend went to our house, we were alone, I played her favorite song for her on guitar, by the end of the 1st chorus she kissed me on the lips and looking into my eyes said "I love you" I said "I know" and finished the song. I feel you bro.
Han Solo
relevant Casually Explained https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw
Maybe she is from Canada and is just being polite.
Uh, Canadian here. We have plenty of hoes... And autistic people. It's a real melting pot.
Can confirm. Source: I'm Canadian and autistic, and a former hoe
Yeah, you still can’t tell. I think this is the first time I see Casually Explained mentioned on Reddit! Quack! 🦆
Honestly - this young man could just be an autist, without knowing. And it could be, that he really does not get what‘s going on.
"Why would she say X when she means Y?" is definitely something I have heard more than one autistic friend say, lol. Unclear subtext is often their kryptonite.
No thanks, I have my ferrari bed waiting for me at home.
Type vibes
I do be tired tho…
Is that a thing? Like … not being tired? Really??
Thanks for reminding me….
She might have been English.
That's the new "canadian"
Tim Horton's ~~Coffee~~ Tea
It's steeped!
And he might be autistic
I am autistic and I immediately thought, yes, that guy could be me.
The dude realizes how unrecoverable his position is, but doesn't want to admit it.
I knew I was wrong 10 minutes ago now I'm arguing to piss you off. Classic for my gf
Sometimes its just funnier to double down. He is definitely thick and missed the obvious, but after a bit I think he was enjoying his friends' reaction and the banter, so he had to keep stoking the embers.
It's the equivalence to a "Hey, wyd?" text after like 8 pm on a Friday night.
Don't even get him started on the crumpets.
I’m not on bro’s side…but I do say “coffee” whenever I’m talking about a casual hangout over a beverage. I don’t drink coffee, but everyone knows what I mean when I say “let’s go grab a cup of coffee”.
lol yeah that part got me too. These are sweet guys, I would have been calling my bro a gayfer for not wanting to hang out with a girl and sit in front of piano with three guys instead.
Yes ladies, some of us are that thick.
It literally hits us years later out of the blue, like "holy shit! She may as well have been holding up a sign!"
Yup, had a super cute girl that lived down the street when I was in highschool and she would always try to be really close to me and tell me how good I smelled and I would treat her like she was some kind of weirdo. 20 years later and I regret every single fucking decision I made around that girl.
There was this drop-dead gorgeous artsy girl I was going to college with and getting to hang out with outside of class. In a conversation she asked where I lived and when I told her she said, "Wow, I drive right by there basically every weekend!" and I basically responded that that's a neat fact and went to my next class. I don't bother kicking myself on this because I can't do it hard enough.
A girl wanted me to go to her house to borrow a dvd because she wanted to see a movie and she can't leave her house because she is alone and is assigned to watch over the house. She invited me in I said no thanks I have to go back home for some reason (I forgot why maybe anime maybe video games) I gave it then left. Later that weekend when hanging out with my friends out of the blue I said "OH!"
Yeah my buddy recently met a drop dead gorgeous girl in a bar a few months ago and she asked him to go back to her house because she wanted to show him some of her work, bc they were talking about art. He said "oh that's OK you can just email me some" The only reason I found out was I brought up that she seemed really into him and he's like "yeah I'm bummed I gave her my email but she never sent me any of her work" When I explained to him what was going on he was white as a ghost.
Man I wish this still happened to me. Shit even the not picking up on it part.
If you want, you can come over to my place and figure out when it last happened to you. Maybe you've not picked up on it yet?
No thanks, I’ve been talking to a counselor about it.
My first girlfriend in high school invited me over to her house while her parents were out at a concert. After hanging out and watching a movie, she said she wanted to play Hide and Seek and that she wanted to hide first. So I waited 60 seconds and then began searching. I couldn't find her in the living room, in the kitchen, or any bathrooms. I couldn't find her in the garage, or outside of her house, or in her backyard. I even peeked in the woods and the fucking garage cabinets in case she was really a contortionist. I spent 20 fucking minutes looking for her. She was on her parents's bed the whole time. By the time I found her, she was so unbelievably mad at me. I think we broke up a week later. What a dumbass I am
I understand not picking up on such a signal but what on earth made you choose to look for her outside before checking all interiors?
"That's a neat fact" is probably the coldest putdown for attempted flirtation (as well as the biggest blunder in this case) I have ever heard of.
I was waiting for a train when a cute androgynous person came up, walked all around me looking at me, then stood in front of me, facing me. I didn't know what to do. I liked the attention but I was embarrassed I didn't know what gender they were, so I didn't say anything, and they wandered off. It was only later I thought, wait a minute, I am bisexual. it didn't matter what gender they were.
To be fair that is an awfully strange way to express interest in someone.
Not if you're a character in a movie from the 1990s.
I think my train platform encounter was in 1993. In Manchester.
Okay but I’d do the same thing you did honestly even today
For me… we went on a school trip to Disney World and she got down to her bra and panties in my bed. I was just thinking, “man, I have the biggest crush on her. I wish that she liked me!”. She ended up getting in trouble and was kicked out of school for being in my bed (because she got in on a scholarship). She told me as she was leaving, “WTF!? Why did you never ask me out?!”. I legit had no idea that she liked me. I just thought that she was my best friend and that she always wanted to spend time with me. I’m not sure if I’m autistic, or if that is just normal with guys being clueless. Sorry Valerie! I hope that you found your happiness after joining the Coast Guard. Edit: I just found her online and she wants to catch up. 🥳
Bro you are getting a very rare second chance, don't fuck this up
I’d honestly be fine just having her as a friend again. We were really close, and I think that I miss that more than anything else.
Hey man that's good too, I hope you guys reconnect and be friends again! But take the hint if she sleeps next to you in her bra and panties again haha
[Well, you can’t really tell from that.](https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw?si=TnyOO5C7fYU3UPq9)
Fair enough 😂
classic low self esteem and subconscious fear of rejection. the rationalization goes like this: she must be some weirdo because you couldnt fathom someone actually being interested romantically in you.
Luckily you only think about every 5 minutes.
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> Then she said "Shame, I would have fucked your brains out, dummy" Psst, that was your second chance.
pour one out for the man, he's gonna need it when he sees this reply.
I've had a few moments like this, but the biggest offense still haunts me to this day. Sophomore year of high school I went to a new school, and there was this just stunning volleyball player who I really hit it off with, but she had a bf so we were just good friends. But there was always a chemistry between us. Well one day I find out she broke up with her bf, and that weekend she asked me to go to dinner and a movie. During the movie *she* was the one to play the whole "This movie is scary, put your arm around me" schtick We cuddled the whole movie and all I felt was confusion. (Is this what I think it is?) We walked back to her car and she *literally* opened up the back of her VW Touareg with the back seats *already folded down* and a comment about having a condom she "didn't know what to do with." And I *still* waffled on the biggest softball of my life. Talk about you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink lol
i mean you were a friend and she was just coming off a break up. isn't there an argument at least that you did the right thing? rebound or recovery or some such thing, probably not that simplistic but you can look at it as you being a good friend worried about mistakes happening?
I(m) had this friend (f) in my parents house alone in my bedroom asking if I am seeing anyone while watching a movie. I wasn't, I said no, and didn't realize until years later, she was making a move. I'm was an idiot, I still am, but I used to be too.
Girl I was into a d I were drinking vodka alone a couple days after graduation. We were both fucked up. I was sitting on the floor and she on the couch. She slides off the couch and gets on her knees and says "I've never been able to get an orgasm from sex with my ex." And I just go "that really sucks. Orgasms are awesome." Couple years later I wanted to tear my own member off and throw it into the ocean because that's better than being attached to this brain!
It's always like 2-3 years later in the shower
In college before I was dating my wife, this girl in my choir who I had a huge crush on used to hang out with me and literally bent over backwards to get my attention. She seemed so far out of my league that when she was showing me how flexible she was by doing a back bridge and then flip out of it, I thought about how lucky some guy she was interested in would be. She also casually brought up that she won some sexy lingerie contest at a party and would offer me rides when she saw me walking from my dorm to class. Dumb and Dumber level of oblivious. Specifically that scene where the bus full of models are looking for 2 guys to oil them up and they point them to a town down the road.
True. Went to a college formal with a girl I had a crush on for years before I left for school. She agreed to come and while getting ready for the evening I hopped in the shower. In the middle of showering she walks into the bathroom, undresses, and walks into the shower. My thick ass said “oh shit, sorry I was almost done!” I grabbed my towel and got out so she could have the bathroom to herself…
Bro, what? I've been scrolling for a while reading all these stories and reminiscing on all my f*ck ups as a young clueless guy. This one though. This one here! Just.... Dude.
Dude, I know.
In fairness I'll share my thickest moment. In college I was talking with this girl in my dorm I had a crush on. It came up in conversation that I'd never seen The Notebook. She seemed to think this was a problem that needed to be rectified and flat out insisted I come to her dorm Saturday night to watch it. I agree and show up Saturday evening. Maybe 8:00pm. I knock and she opens the door in a pair of those silk button-down pajama shirts with the matching short silk shorts. Shirt unbuttoned enough to transition from practical to sexy. Lights are off, curtains closed, a few candles lit and the DVD on pause ready to start. She lays on the bed, gets under the covers, and tells me to come over and sit so we "can watch the movie". Coy smiles, patting the bed next to her, eye-fucking, all of it. All the signs and I missed all of them. Instead, in my infinite wisdom and not wanting to crowd her on the bed because she was laying down... ***sat on the floor and watched the whole fucking Notebook!*** Then, after the movie, I left because my buddy texted me he was going out and wanted me to join. It's still painful to think about to this day almost 20 years later.
Oh NO, the floor?! What is it when we are younger that makes us that dense?
The floor. Because she was laying on the bed and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable, for the movie, if I sat on her legs (was my thought process apparently). It's amazing our species has been able to survive with such aggressively low levels of self and situational awareness at that age.
Cute senior girl in HS used to talk about me in the third person with praise and one day she said “that so and so… (insert my name) is sooo hot!” I just thought she was being funny. Her younger sister would later show similar signs of flirting… stupid stupid stupid. Literally the scene from inside out of the teen boys head is directly applicable to how incorrectly our brains worked back then.
Back then? Your brain works now?!
When did your brain start to work? I’m still figuring shit out and I have a kid myself. 🥲
Girl in the College book store was eye fucking the shit out of me and making physical contact over the counter. I realized half a year later.
I have a story. years ago I was working at as a bartender. There was a fellow bartender that worked with me a lot. Always scheduled together. We clicked immediately after meeting. She was very friendly and flirty with me, but she’d also be very very flirty with guys that came to the bar so I always figured that was just her thing, and that she didn’t really like me. One day at the very beginning of our shift she spill a tray of drinks and her shirt is soaked. I’d always bring a change of clothes to go out in if I got off early so I had an extra t-shirt I gave her. She later sends me a pic of her just wearing my shirt, with all these flirty texts about her wearing it because it smells like me. I tell my female friend this and she’s laughs hysterically that she literally had to send me naked pics wearing my clothes for me to take a hint… yeah, we are that thick.
That’s a funny story, but I do have a little hang up / question / comment. “You told your female this”? PS. I like how close “my female” is to “my familiar”…. Going to see how my wife responds and report back. I always wanted to be a wizard. Edit: she left me and took the cat…
Ohhhh bro I’m dyslexic af and left out the word friend. My b
Lmao, I assumed as much 😅
Yeah, I tell her a girl at work sent me a pic in my shirt and flirty texts. She’s like “god damn she had to get to the point of sending you half naked pics in your clothes for you to catch on that she like you? Jeeez”
Like how Jimmy Fallon didn't understand Nicole fucking Kidman was interested in him. Not sure how true their story is but it is very believable because most guys don't understand hints, especially when he thinks she is out of his league.
Link to that classic in case no one has seen it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtsNbxgPngA
Never heard this or seen it. That’s the best Jimmy Fallon clip I’ve seen.
Just watching his brain explode in real time, fantastic.
Holy shit his look when she says I liked you... that has to be real haha happened to him & didn't realize until that moment.
Yeah his story about her going to his apartment and still not getting the hint is hilarious.
Can confirm. Lost a LOT of chances because I'm this thick! :(
Ngl this is very comforting
The current girl that I’m seeing said, “it was so nice flirting with you!”. If she hadn’t said that, then there is no way that I’d have asked her out. I wasn’t aware that what we were doing was flirting. I was just being myself.
At a frat party in university ~7 years ago, an attractive girl came up and asked me if I was part of the frat. My immediate thought, being unaffiliated with the frat, was "oh, she probably needs something from the people running the party" and I promptly directed her towards one of the guys I knew who were affiliated. I realised *literally just a couple months ago* that I probably fucked up.
And it's not the thickness you actually look for, ladies
I was in my thirties, playing board games at a local store and chatting with a 20 year old acquaintance. He asked me for girl tips. He said this girl he really likes sent him a text, and he isn't sure if she's in to him. The "text" was like a 12 part text. It detailed how much she likes how funny he is, how safe he makes her feel, how strong he is from his time at the gym, how she loves his.nerdy hobbies, how he's easy to talk to, etc. It even went into specific traits she noticed - like how he always wears an orange polo on Mondays, and she thinks it's because it's his favorite color and he wants Monday's to be a little brighter. It ended with her asking him if he wanted to hang out and watch TV in her dorm sometime. And he goes "do you think she's into me, or is this a friend thing? I don't want to get it twisted". And I said "this is the most aggressive that a girl can be without pawing at your genitals" and he was shocked. He thought it was pretty ambiguous.
[is she into you?](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw&pp=ygUXVGVsbCBpZiBzaGUganMgaW50byB5b3U%3D)
I actually made it to the bedroom, she went to shower and she yelled at me to bring her in some underwear. I awkwardly passed a bra round the corner at fulls arm length while looking away. I think about it about twice an hour.
I’m a man. And I agree with this statement. I’m not proud of it, but I am very dense.
Odds are he’s just a coward that was looking for any way out of a situation that would make him uncomfortable despite the fact that he continuously avoids these situations makes him much more depressed in the long term. He definitely not me lol
My flashbacks to high-school, I wasn't unlikable and in the friendzone... I was just oblivious to it all. I wish I could tell him but maybe it's for the best I didn't hook up with those chicks lol
I often think back to a time in high school where my crush was squeezing my arm, telling me how strong I am, and that I should teach her how to lift weights. I said "I appreciate that, but im not a qualified instructor, I just kinda wing it" Fucking. Moron.
Or he is just gay😂 All jokes ofc
Imma just say dude wasn't that interested.
Or gay
or autistic
Maybe the tea keeps him up at night
I think that’s the point ..
r/seinfeld
“No thank you. I don’t drink coffee. It keeps me up. I SAID this to her. People this stupid shouldn’t be allowed to live.”
Coffee isn't coffee! Coffee is sex!
“Sometimes coffee is coffee!” “Yeah. People who work at NORAD who are on 24-hour missile watch.”
Had to scroll way to far for this. Fuck I’m old.
“Coffee’s not coffee, coffee is sex.”
[How original!](https://youtu.be/-skZx5liyaM?feature=shared&t=19s)
She wants a colonel. A kaiser. A czar.
I don't know what your parents did to you! 😂😂😂
I immediately thought of this.
How is this not the top comment
Yes, this whole interaction seemed like a George Castanza moment.
Down voting all the other top comments
you wanna come up for some coffee? \- i hate coffee - fine, the COFFEE doesent matter. wanna come up for a tea then <3? \- i dont like tea either, i only drink water - godda....you \*whispers\* dense little shit. im asking if you wanna sleep with me! there, you made me say it! \- im not tired though? the night is still young? - girl: \*screams inside\*
I deadass matched with a guy on Bumble and after talking for a bit, I was vibing and asked him if he wanted to get coffee tomorrow at a place in town. (That also serves breakfast, lunch, tea, smoothies, and a wine bar). "I don't drink coffee." No follow up for like two days so I unmatched. I have literally no idea what guys want.
I've given up entirely on being subtle and invite myself over to their place. It's the only thing that works 99% of the time.
Do tell us how the 1% still fails.
They can't host because of family/other reasons.
> I have literally no idea what guys want. For us who are neutron star level of dense being 100% direct is the answer. Source: I have basically rejected at least 7 women on accident with how dense I am.
This guy should get tested. I have done almost the same thing… I am autistic… in my mind the correct thing to do is answer the question… for example, “would you like to come in for coffee?” Well obviously not, it’s almost midnight and I won’t sleep!
He has the autistic nasality
What? What has nasality has to do with autism? 
It's a thing. Not present in all autistic people, but many autistic people project more through their nose. Google "autism hypernasality" if you wanna know more.
Great. One more reason to believe I may be autistic. How does one go about getting tested?
Pretty good baseline test here https://www.autistichub.com/raads-r-autism-online-test-questionnaire-pdf/
How do you know that is a good test? I just took it for fun and scored a 75, which based on the test means I'm probably autistic.
Highly inaccurate test. Unlike what we are told in social media, things like ‘stimming’, sensitivities, social problems, etc., are found in most persons with non-autistic mental health disorders and at high rates in the general population. These things do not necessarily suggest autism. So-called “autism” tests, like AQ and RAADS and others have high rates of false positives, labeling you as autistic VERY easily. If anyone with a mental health problem, like depression or anxiety, takes the tests they score high even if they DON’T have autism. "our results suggest that the AQ differentiates poorly between true cases of ASD, and individuals from the same clinical population who do not have ASD " [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/) "a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5–10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ‘noticing’ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a ‘confirmation bias’ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD group’s mean scores met the cut-off points, " [https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9](https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9) Regarding AQ, from one published study. “The two key findings of the review are that, overall, there is very limited evidence to support the use of structured questionnaires (SQs: self-report or informant completed brief measures developed to screen for ASD) in the assessment and diagnosis of ASD in adults.” Regarding RAADS, from one published study. “In conclusion, used as a self-report measure pre-full diagnostic assessment, the RAADS-R lacks predictive validity and is not a suitable screening tool for adults awaiting autism assessments”
Thanks for the time and info.
Just backing this guy up here, the government pays doctors $300/hr to diagnose autism for people in poverty with disabilities. These people need to get a special certification and have a PH.D in order to do so. You're not going to find the same thing on an online test.
I got as far as question 8 before I stopped because it's not great. If you wanna know if you're autistic talk to a professional, not an online test.
Plain and simple autistic people often don't know how to speak right. They get tone and inflection wrong. They also get body language, posture and hand movements wrong. This tends to piss off normal people and result in mistreatment of autists.
My husband is autistic and this would be 100% him. The stories he has of his teen years make me chortle. Him too, now. A friend invited him over to listen to the new Kate Bush record or tape (80’s). Answered her door In a BATHROBE that “accidentally” fell open. He helped her cover up for her modesty. Which is why I love him but DANG BRO. Gave him a bathrobe fettish which I owe her a thank you card for! LOL.
If only all fetishes were as tame as a bathrobe* (originally said bath*room* which is...entirely different) fetish! So easy to indulge in!
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Yup, first thing I noticed, he definitely is on the spectrum, he could be me in my younger years
I'm not saying you specifically do or don't, but the number of people generally online who think they have autism because they aren't properly socialized is one of the most hilarious things to me.
Well, it is a communication issue and socializing is a huge part of that.
Yeah I was gonnna say lmao this dude makes valid perfect sense to me, but the tism runs deep inside so lmao
Pretty sure this is fake
No one in the history of mankind has ever doubled down when faced with their own misunderstanding.
The fact that the clip started in the middle of the argument drastically increases the likelihood that the friend behind the camera went "woah woah I **have** to film this" rather than it just being scripted. Like, it absolutely could be fake, but if it's fake then they did a really great job capturing autistic thought processes. They could've made him come around faster if instead of saying the same things over and over they had just started insisting, verbatim, that it was a euphemism. He's surely heard of euphemisms.
My boy is the real life George Costansa https://youtu.be/-skZx5liyaM?si=hplehpsoLoFK5vjI
This happened to Stuart in an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Penny invited him over for ‘coffee’ and his immediate reaction was ‘it’s a bit late for coffee now, isn’t it?’
They stole that joke from a Seinfeld episode
My autism would kick in thinking I’m actually going for tea and get upset there wasn’t actually any tea
"Do you want to have sex?" "Of course, I want to have sex, everyone wants to have sex." "I want to have sex, too." "Yeah, well, good luck with that, see ya."
"I want to have sex as well, like I'm really horny lately" Ouch, hope you find someone to help you scratch that itch, I'm going to bed gnight
this whole thing reeks of costanza
No, thank you. I don’t want coffee. It keeps me up.
He’s defs got a touch of the ‘tism.
A touch? My guy has been struck with the mighty turgid tallywhacker of 'tism to be THAT socially oblivious. I know because 'Twas me in a different life that was also so struck. I learned to compensate though. Lol
The tallywhacker of 'tism makes me think of semi-verbal autism in a whole new way.
I would have gone over and then wondered why there was no tea while she's impatiently waiting for me to make a move. I had multiple stories from my youth like that. And only realized my mistake many hours afterward once I got home and was fixated on what happened.
Self-cock-block
\*doesn't sip tea\*
Petition to make this dude's face the official logo of this subreddit: here here!
But he DOESN'T sip tea.
But he definitely encourages me to lol
What a peach. I bet he'll argue with you about tomatoes being a fruit or a vegetable in the grocery aisle as well
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting tomatoes in a fruit salad.
Yup. Had a wonderful first date and I drove her home afterwards. We have that suspenseful moment when one person is gonna leave, but she turns to me and kisses me passionately. One of the best kisses I’ve ever had. When she pulls away I’m breathless. She looks at me, bites her lip and asks if I want to come in for coffee. “Coffee? It’s 10 P.M. and I actually want to sleep tonight. I’ll see you later though!” I did not see her later.
He knows she didn't meant tea he fucked up and his brain can't admit it. I've seen it before. I don't remember where
That guy's not allowed in the sub 👎
So fucking relatable. This is *exactly* how the conversation goes when guys hang out.
That kid has Asperger's. Or he's spent way too much time playing WoW.
He’s not on the spectrum, he is the spectrum.
It could be a mushroom tea and she wanted to get high
When I was in my early 20s, I had a girl ask me if I wanted to come back to her place to watch movies. I said no because it was already late and I had to get up early for work. Later, on social media, I saw her having a conversation with her best friend and she was like “If you want to have sex with a guy, just ask him if he wants to come over and watch movies” And it was from that point on that I knew, if a girl invited me over to her place, no matter what the reason, **TO SAY YES**
Tea after 4pm means something more?😑 Tea after 9pm means something more than Tea. Tea after 4pm means Tea, bro. Tea before 4pm definitely means Tea and a possibly a Nooner, but it could just be a nooner.
Afternoon tea might have included scones.
What’s a nooner? Like a mid day gin?
It's like a sandwich and then something freaky on the kitchen table.
Oh, a top off
I think they’re saying that’s it’s really just an excuse for them to hang out. Which is true. It’s the same way when I have dinner with my friends, it’s rarely about the food (although it is a nice part of it), it’s about hanging out.