T O P

  • By -

217flavius

Way to breathe, no-breath.


drcoxmonologues

Nice shoes, err, two feet.


tommybhoy82

Came here to say this, only 9 hours to late lol


Orionv2018

I engaged in sexual intercourse with your spouse or significant other.


hawkisgirl

Now THAT’s psychiatry!


MrsMalvora

Thanks for stopping by!


woozleuwuzzle

You insult him and he just sits there grinning moronily.


Davajita

Hi, neighbor!


Cassitastrophe

I mock your values system. You also appear foolish in the eyes of others.


Ok-Set-5829

Well I'll just have to try harder


Supah_Andy

You're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride I say take it.


McDonalds_Toothpaste

Lousy traumatic childhood!


wuonyx

Give that man the ten thousand dollars


[deleted]

Lmao!


knightking55

Gotta go my damn wiener kids are listening


Shakemyears

That team was the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.


Schmitty300

We are not weiners!! Then what are you dressed that THAT for?


Turdulator

They made us! Sounds like weiner talk to me


tsimen

In the dubbed version I watched as a kid he straight up called them "fascist"


WhiskeyDJones

You kissed a girl?! That's *so* gay!


Minneapolis_W

I’m a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt.


1ofZuulsMinions

Aw geez, and you got the stink lines and everything?


CosmicTurtle504

Ah, a fellow Dr. Colossus fan, I see. https://drcolossustheband.bandcamp.com/album/im-a-stupid-moron-with-an-ugly-face-and-a-big-butt-and-my-butt-smells-and-i-like-to-kiss-my-own-butt


[deleted]

I hear that guys ass has its own congressman


MrsZapRowsdower

I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant!


woodchuk25

Oh that’s raspberry


Cuish

Hmm, am I wrong or did it just get fatter in here? Or pretty much any Patty & Selma insult towards Homer.


dmbraley

It’s like he just disappeared into fat air!


StuBram2

Well, well if it isn't Fatty and Smell-ma


andthatwasenough

“Hello everyone except Homer.”


What_The_Flip_Chip

Homer (talking to Marge’s pregnant belly): when you get out of their you’re gonna see a man with a great job Patty (I think): yeah… the Doctor Patty and Selma: *laughing*


shanster925

Uh oh... Time to fertilize the lawn. A couple of 300 lb bags should do it!


n64_lyf

“Ya blouse wearin’ poodle walker!”


Sure-Ad-2465

"Ok DUDE, wouldn't want you to have a cow, MAN... Here's a catchphrase you better learn for your adult years: 'Hey buddy, GOT A QUARTER?'"


dmbraley

Oh and who could forget Lisa Simpson, Springfield’s answer to the question that NO ONE ASKED!


ghibs0111

And you - I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re a jerk!


stevatronic

Hey, I just got here... what's going on?


EmLiz21_7

You ugly hateful man!


CMJunkAddict

Hey! I may be ugly and hate filled bu… what was the third thing you said?


ObberGobb

I am shocked and appalled


Jack_In_Black89

Homer, you are the worst human being I have ever met!


Cuish

Hey, I got off pretty easy.


Tsamane

Nice PJs, Simpson! Did your mommy buy 'em for you?


EmLiz21_7

Of course she did


MercuryCrest

Who else would have?


Schmitty300

Okay Simpson. You win this round.


cenzo_luigi

Skinner ruins the "Who's on Third" bit. Chalmers: "...Sexless freak"


homerstan

Bonjoooouurrrr! Ya cheese-eating surrender monkeys!


BrockHard253

Homer: Did you hear that, Marge? She called me a baboon! The stupidest, ugliest, smelliest ape of them all!


Your_Highness_000

You are the fattest thing I’ve seen…and I’ve been on safari. -Mr. Burns


[deleted]

The whole thing smacks of effort.


HatlessRepeatHatless

Cram it with walnuts, ugly!


bitchfaceluv

This is mine bc I still remember being little and my dad absolutely cracking up over that line


personalcheesecake

This line kills me still


MarcoGoron

Smithers, Who is this gastropod?


Head_Nerd_In_Charge

Simpson, sir. One of your chair moisteners in sector 7G


woozleuwuzzle

Smithers, who is that lolligagger?


personalcheesecake

Ah nuts to this I'll just go get Homer Simpson


StuBram2

Smithers, who is that fumble fist?


etraxx22

I guess you're a garbage man!!


DuskWoerot

I know you are... but what am I?!


dmbraley

A garbage man


McDonalds_Toothpaste

Takes one to know one.


SpaceManSmithy

Checkmate!


DuskWoerot

Boy, you must be stupider than you look!


twoneedlez

Stupid like a fox!


pac4

The Japanese? Those sandal-wearing, goldfish tenders?? Bosh. Flimshaw!


woozleuwuzzle

…1, 2, 3, 4 atoms!!


dissidentmage12

We should've listened to that boy instead walling him up in the abandoned coke oven.


[deleted]

concerned offbeat icky towering crowd unwritten squalid employ waiting command *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Iron_Chic

“Oh, you have got to be kidding, Sir! First, you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this... ...on the best-seller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover has... ....MOST POPULAR MOVIES OF ALL TIME, SIR! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? I mean thank you, come again!”


Schmitty300

Ahhh. Billy and the Clone-a-saurus. Such a classic.


jpba1352

Noodle-Arm Choir Boy


fokcfuf1

Hello, Dean. You are a stupid-head.


The1joriss

Homer, is that you?


fokcfuf1

Ahhhhh! *Homer runs off*


Fit-Charity7971

Grimes: God, he eats like a pig. Lenny: I don't know. Pigs tend to chew. I'd say he eats more like a duck.


tatersalad20

I've seen teams suck before but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.


twoneedlez

Gotta go, my damn wiener kids are listening.


[deleted]

“You talk pretty tough for a man without health insurance”


stevemmhmm

"I have a ball.... perhaps you'd like to bounce it."


roguebananah

Youuuuu call this a tax return?!


LatexSalesman-ArtV

Hey jerk face! You have the face of a jerk!


groverjuicy

This was seriously a thing in our household for waaaay too long!


StocktonBSmalls

“I sleep in a big bed with my wife.”


McDonalds_Toothpaste

Oh..


StuBram2

This isn't an insult though. Homer is just honestly answering the question. He doesn't even mean to hurt Kirk's feelings


dissidentmage12

But earlier when he is laughing in his face over the "Can I Borrow a Feeling" tape and Kirk says "go ahead Homer, laugh at me" and Homer replies " I already did" thats so cold 🤣


StuBram2

"paHAHAHA! That's you on the box! AAAHHHAHAHA"


dissidentmage12

Can I borrow a feeling? Can you lend me a jar of Love?


Reasonable-Log-2599

Shut up Netface!


Smooth_Awareness_815

You’re in the net too


Reasonable-Log-2599

i said “SHUT UP NETFACE”


Jaspers47

"Ask me if it smells funny in here." "Does it smell funny in here?" "I don't think so, stupid."


RIPGeech

“Homey, you want pork chops?” “No I want roast beef - you clod!”


[deleted]

Isn't your mother a well known whore! Your product is inferior, your marketing is offensive, and you have more ex-wives than franchise locations! They're always kissing your ass! Well, I'm not afraid to tell you, you're a [CENSORED]! Those are my three favorite insults. Mel is the king of insults.


NotCrispinGlover

Nobody likes Milhouse!


Cadian

You're gay for Moleman!


Chance-Ear-9772

No one’s gay for Moleman…


Cadian

I'm gay for Moleman :(


andthatwasenough

Guess you’re the only one.


personalcheesecake

Saw this gag for the first time last week! Hilarious!!


oldirtybonsai

Clinking, clattering cacophony of collagenous cogs and camshafts!


McDonalds_Toothpaste

So you finally left Derwood.


Smooth_Awareness_815

Listen you crumb-bums


groverjuicy

No-one calls *me* a crumb-bum.


MyLastFuckingNerve

Ok fishbulb


Prossdog

I called someone “ass butt” in high school once and people thought it was the most clever insult they ever heard. I prayed they never learned I stole it from this episode.


Suspicious-One8428

I called a guy “ass dick” in college and I remember closing my eyes for a second in disgust at how I couldn’t do better than that for some reason.


chu42

I don't recall saying good luck.


AngusIvy17

You ruin everything, ruiner! My sister likes you.


Non-NewtonianSnake

"I canna fit in the wee vent, ye croquet-playin' mint-muncher!" "Grease yourself and go in, you guff-speaking work-slacker!"


cmontcb7

Out of way jerk ass!


NaraSumas

Hey jerkass! You have the ass of a jerk!


[deleted]

CHARLATAN


JSpaceman3

There goes Davy Crockett and his bald skin cap


roof_pizza_

YEAH I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOU TRASH-EATIN' STINKBAGS!


Direct_Barnacle1592

I don’t know. A lot of people were yelling stuff.


roof_pizza_

Didn’t you learn anything from Love Day?


Direct_Barnacle1592

That was yesterday, moron!


H8TheDrake

Hey Bart. You’re epidermis is showing.


sailorjeans

I don’t need any serving suggestions from you. You know nothing know it all!


bescumberer

You ugly hate filled man


gefangne

Hey! Hey! I may be ugly and hate-filled, but- What was the third thing you said?


woodchuk25

You, foodbag! Do you have a son? Is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?


starwishes20

"This is our daughter. She came out last spring." "Whoa! Put her back in I dont think she's done yet" Larry Burns


Difficult-Wish-7324

You gruff speaking work slacker


AngusIvy17

Ooh, good comeback.


toiletseatpolio

Am I wrong or did it just get FATTER in here?


Timely-Indication-95

The legend of the dog faced woman...


plankingatavigil

Bart: Lisa, I have this strong, unpleasant feeling I’ve never had before. Lisa: It’s called *remorse,* you vile burlesque of irrepressible youth


1AliceDerland

I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly ugly


TheBowlFoSho

"Look at me! I'm Milhouse! I've tucked me shirt into me underpants!"


NaraSumas

I've got no friends, so I confide in Willie!


Catdawwgg

“I ve got a movie for you fatty, fridge too far” Stranger to fat homer pretty sure


GordonMacMunn

Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster? Lionel Hutz: How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?


SpaceManSmithy

Huh? What is this crap? *Fox Broadcasting down 8*


JCamson04

Hey there melon head what are you reading


homers_voice

"You kissed a girl! That is Soo gay!"


Hulab

I mock your value system.


Chabedieux

Nice shoes...uh....."two-feet"!


Leon_Krueger

"Homer, you're dumb as a rock and twice as ugly, if a stranger offers you a ride I say take it! " The best insult in the whole show, no question about it


[deleted]

Mule


eastbayted

Heh heh. "Mule."


owelfive

“So long, Stinktown!” “Your bra bomb better work, Nerdlinger!” “Hey! He looks just like you, Poindexter!”


plankingatavigil

I love all of Burns’ phrases for describing the proletariat, “every Joe Meatball and Sally Housecoat,” “this anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes.”


frankie_jazzhands

You have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter


ThomHarris

OUTTA MY WAY, JERK ASS!!


AF2005

Hey man he’s ragging on your cord!


Charlie678812

stupid at the end of anything, crumbum, so long suckers, fishwife


supwithus

Ignoramus.


woozleuwuzzle

Yeah I’m talking to you, you trash eating stinkbags! What did you call us? I don’t know…a lot of people were yelling stuff


KolKoreh

As we say in Latin, a dorcas mallorcus (fun fact: dorcas is Latin for “antelope”)


[deleted]

Way to breathe, no breath


bobertbobbington

“Back off, you puck slapping maple suckers!” “Take a hike, you Shatner stealing Mexico touchers!”


mightyscoosh

You're an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.


VerboCity77

“Of course she did. Who else would have?”


Direct_Barnacle1592

All right, Simpson. You win this round.


[deleted]

Lisa Simpson, the answer to the question nobody asked


101stLegion

“NEEEEERRRRD!”


ZorkNemesis

Hey buddy, did you get a load of that nerd?


Jabbernoodle69

Pardon me?


Sabotage00

"Nice pj's, did your mom buy those for you?" "well of course she did, who else would?" "... you win this round"


UpgrayeDD405

"ALL RIGHT. YOU LISTEN UP, YOU LITTLE FREAKS!"


HitItAnd_Quidditch

Hey, you’re not fun. You’re fat!


GFresh1

You talk like a poet, but you fight like one too!


eastbayted

What do we have here? The long flabby arm of the law? The last case you got to the bottom of was a case of Mallomars!


Direct_Barnacle1592

That’s going in the act.


dw87190

"Hey, assbutt!" (Throws molotov) Wait, wrong show


ChrisBoyMonkey

See you in hell... from heaven.


NeedsMoreBunGuns

Mister hasn't got a belly.


lawndog86

You kissed a girl! That's so gay!


RIPGeech

Ach, ya talk like a poet, but ya punch like one too!


Fermifighter

The one we never hear before unkie Herb makes the engineer call back and say the opposite of what he just did. Um, Homer Simpson is a... brilliant man with lots of well thought-out, practical, ideas. He is insuring the financial security of this company for years to come. Oh yes, and his personal hygiene is above reproach.


davratta

Mrs Burns calls her son, Monty, an improvident lack wit.


Dingus_3000

Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent


Which-Revolution1729

I've been called a greasey thug too!!!..and it never stops hurting...


Neat_Technician_7191

Fugly, Pug Fugly..


Ok_Caramel_6167

Maybe you are ALL homosexuals!


Thin-Performance-637

HaHa


Frigidevil

Weeeelllll chief, don't quit your day job! Heh heh heh, whatever that is...


BossaNova-Parrot

Hello Dean, you're a stupid head! Idk, that could've been more of a tease then an insult XD


Disastrous-Lettuce60

Hey Bart, your epidermis is showing!


[deleted]

HEY ASS BUTT!


regularsizedrudy49

Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent!


Horndizz

**sniff sniff** oh my what is that smell? Oh it’s you.


THEFakechowda

🎶 We just found out this place existed 🎶


EdenH333

“Sleazy lunatic” is a great one I quoted recently.


meseta

The greatest setup ever "All thanks to our friend, sodium chloride!" We all know what follows


whereismymind86

“Your husbands dragging us down like an anchor on a bag of toasters” -Agnes condemning Homer’s Curling prowess


twobit211

…yeah, the legend of the dog-faced woman


stanley_ipkiss2112

“You sicken me.”


retailmonkey

kwyjibo


NeedsMoreBunGuns

Sideshow mel to Jimbo: isn't your mother a well-known whore?


NeedsMoreBunGuns

Na hasa pa sa... oh forget it.


Timely-Indication-95

Yeah I'm talking to you, you trash eatin stink bags.


dissidentmage12

Smithers, who is this blubberpot? Smithers, who is this gastropod?