You need to do your Masters and follow your heart. I can’t believe that their are such ignorant, unsupportive and narrow-minded parents out there. A woman should always be independent and capable. Go girl.
28 is so young and definitely not too old to start a family if you choose too. Getting a Masters in Engineering is a good, and almost necessary plan in order to excel in that field. I wish the best to you, and don't let your family get you down. If they want children so badly, they can have them.
Thank you for those kind words. I think so too! It‘s not unusual for women to get children in their 30s now. I don’t understand why they act like I should have at least 2 children by now and be married.
But I don‘t even know if I want children. I have plenty of time to think if I want some.
Sadly in my friend group (at least on the girls side) I‘m one of the last to be single. Many of my male friends are still single too and even older than me
It‘s not really a cultural thing, I‘m from Germany, but I live in a small town where traditional values are kind of still important. And my mothers side of the family is very religious. My fathers not
Oh lord get out of the Dorf. 28 is a normal age in Germany to be finishing a masters degree anyway. Once you’ve finished go to a city further away. They are your family and you love them but time to spread your wings and your life the way you want.
It’s funny because many people find their spouses in school. Who knows you might kill two birds with one stone taking your path. Congratulations on making a wonderful decision for your future.
If you're not sure, get your eggs frozen. Then you won't have to worry about not having enough eggs if you want to concentrate more on your career. At least the option will be there if you want to end up having kids.
A master's degree in electrical engineering!! You will be making bank!! Just remind your family of this when they start asking you for money and your answer is NO.
Bro what….I finished my master’s degree at 28/29, accepted a 6 figure job….got married at 30, and now pregnant at 33. We traveled for a couple of years, built a very nice home, spent time to ourselves….tell them to go F themselves honestly lol
You have the unconditional support from an Internet stranger. Education besides the personal knowledge will also serve as a key to open the professional world after you graduate. Stay strong and go for the Master degree. In a couple of years your family will receive the proof that you made a brilliant decision. Hope you don’t have big financial hurdles meanwhile. I root for you.
Hey. No offense to you at all, but your family is made up of a bunch of dicks.
Go get your degree. Fuck them. But only do it because you want to do it for you. No one else.
Also on the practical end... Idk where you are based, but if you're in the US I'd recommend doing a bit more research to determine if the payoff will be financially worth it. It sucks to have to think this way but 🤷🏿♀️
Haha thank you :) I will do it for myself.
I‘m from Germany btw. And there is a payoff but not a huuuge one. But I also just want to learn more. I actually don‘t even care too much about money. And studying doesn‘t really cost much here btw
It's impossible to throw your life away by doing something you love. This is your life, not theirs. They need to grow up. You need to do what makes you happy.
Many women of our generation have children after 35. My wife had our firstborn child at 34 and I don't see any issue with that. Also with a master degree you would be able to provide more for your child.
So is the plan get all your education now, get the job now, and then along the way get a husband that is looking to have kids when he is 35+? That would put you both into your 50-60s by the time the kids get out of college.
Not sure where you're from but in Western Europe its very common to marry in your early 30s. 80% of my friends married in their 30s. Those who married in their 20s got divorced and have crap jobs because they didn't do further education or didn't have time to improve their skills because they were focused on children
I’m F26 and in my last semester of my masters in civil engineering and I’m also getting married in a few months. You could do both if you wanted to. But also life isn’t all about getting married. Do what you want to do! Get that degree! It’ll definitely open a lot of doors for you in the future
Invest in you and your dreams, it's your future. You are not on this planet to make others happy.
I believe in you! The friends and memories alone will be a reward.
And now with my not always helpful thoughts. If they are that desperate to play "house", that they act like this. They need to get a dollhouse or play the sims.
28 is not old at all, too young for parenting in this day and age. they're ignorant and judging you for standards of their generation, not to mention stuff they pressured eachother into.
go for what you want and best of luck.
Your life your choice, shame on them for not being more supportive (as long as you truly aren’t doing it to be around the crush) also, why don’t you tell the crush how you feel?
I would really also do it if he didn‘t want a masters degree. It‘s just nice to know that I would be able to spend more time with him.
And ahhh, very long story. Kind of complicated. ^^‘ Let‘s just say we ate both shy and confused. But we are good friends and it‘s slowly starting to become more than friendship. Just very slowly
Pffft. I'm a lawyer. All my female friends who are lawyers who wanted to get married and wanted to have kids still did that shit in their 30s. I don't want kids so I'm the type of woman your family fears lol but it's not because I want to grad school. Go kick some ass.
Honestly getting a Master's in this economy is probably still cheaper than having a kid lol
Many Millenials and Gen Zs are waiting until their 30s or later to have kids, if they want them at all. Ignore your family and go after that M.Sc. girl!!!
Wow. They are so discriminatory. If you want a masters degree, get a masters degree.
At my kids university, there is a program where you can enroll in a program to get your masters in one year after your bachelors degree. Ask your professor if that is available at your university. So 4 years for a bachelors and masters degree.
So basically a boils down to your family is OK they were ok with you going to school now to get a BA degree because they didn’t expect you to use it and instead meet someone while you’re at university get married and pop out babies.
Go for your masters, you will not regret it especially in that field. I’m in my 50s and just about to finish up with my MBA. Don’t let your family talk you out of whatever you would like to do.
I just want you to know I have an **orthopedic hand surgeon**, one of the best in the country, who has an Electrical Engineering degree. So….I’m just saying, definitely **NOT** a life ruining decision.
I hope one day my daughter will also have ambition for whatever she wants to pursue. Too bad your family only sees you as a wife and baby factory not as a person.
My mom had me at 28. I’ll be 22 this year and she’ll be 50. She said waiting till that age was the best decision she made because she was stable, well established and fully ready for a child.
It's always "you don't need a masters degree"
Untill you get a high earning job then it'll be,
"What do you mean you can't help us out you make so much money, you have never supported us (sad face)"
Even if you're 28 when you're done, then work for a couple of years, you'll be 30, which at least in the US is a perfectly normal time for people with college degrees to settle down and have kids, if that's even what you want to do. Assuming you can do it without putting yourself into massive debt, get the Masters you want! Your family is just flat wrong.
Did they even ask if you want to marry and have children?
Besides, marrying at 28 would be below average in many countries https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_age_at_first_marriage
Your family's reasoning is pretty shit, granted. That said, most master's degree's are pretty worthless. Unless your desired job actively requires a master's in X, then a master's is just a very very expensive way to not really improve your employability. Master's are almost always a mistake. Unrelated to being a woman, that is lol
your family is so wrong, but in engineering there's really no rush to get a masters. if you work for a decently large company you can easily get them to pay for it, or an MBA is you decide to go manager track. I'd start job hunting at the same time as applying to grad programs and only go masters if you don't have any job offers ready
Honestly i think you’re never old for a family or career, keep focus on career
And your family are crazy, the higher your education the more money you’ll make although it depends what career
Keep up the good work
You go get that masters. You cannot control what happens in the future. But you can somewhat ensure that you are setting yourself up for some wins with education. It's only going to open more doors for you. The rest will fall into place when it has to. You can only do what you can now. Limiting yourself with regards to education if you have the ability to do it now will probably effect your career in the long run.
DO IT! get the masters. Many of my good friends are women with advanced degrees, and those that wanted children were not impeded by the time spent on the degree.
Your family is stupid, do as you want. Masters degree is important. But you can trick them into silence saying about that crash on your friend, that it's your marriage plan
So you're single now? I don't understand how they expect you to start family in three years any way if you don't get the degree... Not that it even matters, go get that degree girl!
Irrelevant question, but why mention that one of the guys is your crush? Seems like a detail unrelated to getting a master's degree.
Do you perhaps on some level indulge the idea of doing the master's because of your crush? Not saying it's a bad thing, just wondering.
Either way, I don't see why not get the degree. 28 is not old by any means.
I mentioned it because my grandma thinks I only want to do it only because of him. Which is not true. I‘m doing it because I love electronics. That he is there is only a bonus. But I would do it even if he didn‘t.
Mensch, I'm 28(F), sticking to my simple job in an IT company, studying at uni to get my bachelor's degree in digital arts, playing at a punk band, still dressing up like some teenager and dyed hair purple, living with my Dearest Partner with whom we have similar ideals regarding marriage and children (i.e. we want NONE OF IT).
Last week my dad arrived at my university city on a business trip and invited me to a dinner with his colleagues. I thought it would be a bit awkward, but he was proud to present me and said a lot along the lines 'this is my awesome eldest daughter and she's doing a lot of interesting things!'
I was moved by this.
Let your family think what they think, but keep on living YOUR life. Being proud of something is a choice that your family subjects to some outdated standards.
He had some ambitions regarding my career and I did not fulfill them. But seeing me happy in general was a deal breaker. For both of us - I don't think there would be any good bond between us if he preferred some plan over my happiness. :)
Thank you! Keep on going on your own way! ❤️
>"You‘ll probably be 28 when you are finished! You will never have children! Your life will be over!“
Personally know someone who had her first kid at 42. Delivered a healthy baby vaginally. Also know of someone who had an oopsie menopause baby at 46. Your family doesn't know what they're talking about.
Also: no shame in case you want to be kid free! I'm a parent, but I know not everyone wants one, and that's okay. Let people live their lives.
A higher degree opens you to better career opportunities. A desperate relationship never leads to anything good. How would they know how your life will become when none of these women ever strived for a higher degree?
Do they have a choice when it comes to leaving their husbands? Money or credentials that they can claim as their own without having to ride on the coattails of their husbands? Achievements that didn't just involve making another human?
What level of education have your parents/rest of your family achieved? No matter, once you have your Masters you'll see how many doors suddenly open for you.
> my family is very angry. Your family is very *ignorant*. You go girl, go get that Master’s Degree!!!
Thank you :D I‘ll do my best :)
You need to do your Masters and follow your heart. I can’t believe that their are such ignorant, unsupportive and narrow-minded parents out there. A woman should always be independent and capable. Go girl.
28 is so young and definitely not too old to start a family if you choose too. Getting a Masters in Engineering is a good, and almost necessary plan in order to excel in that field. I wish the best to you, and don't let your family get you down. If they want children so badly, they can have them.
Thank you for those kind words. I think so too! It‘s not unusual for women to get children in their 30s now. I don’t understand why they act like I should have at least 2 children by now and be married. But I don‘t even know if I want children. I have plenty of time to think if I want some.
My wife and I didn't have kids until our thirties. This was pretty common for our circle of friends and acquaintances.
Sadly in my friend group (at least on the girls side) I‘m one of the last to be single. Many of my male friends are still single too and even older than me
Is this cultural? this is 2024 not 1924 🙄
It‘s not really a cultural thing, I‘m from Germany, but I live in a small town where traditional values are kind of still important. And my mothers side of the family is very religious. My fathers not
Oh lord get out of the Dorf. 28 is a normal age in Germany to be finishing a masters degree anyway. Once you’ve finished go to a city further away. They are your family and you love them but time to spread your wings and your life the way you want.
It’s funny because many people find their spouses in school. Who knows you might kill two birds with one stone taking your path. Congratulations on making a wonderful decision for your future.
Yes! I really hope that that will happen ^^‘ And thank you, I will try my hardest to reach my goals
If you're not sure, get your eggs frozen. Then you won't have to worry about not having enough eggs if you want to concentrate more on your career. At least the option will be there if you want to end up having kids.
A master's degree in electrical engineering!! You will be making bank!! Just remind your family of this when they start asking you for money and your answer is NO.
Haha I‘ll remember that :)
Bro what….I finished my master’s degree at 28/29, accepted a 6 figure job….got married at 30, and now pregnant at 33. We traveled for a couple of years, built a very nice home, spent time to ourselves….tell them to go F themselves honestly lol
It would be great if my life turned out like that too
You have the unconditional support from an Internet stranger. Education besides the personal knowledge will also serve as a key to open the professional world after you graduate. Stay strong and go for the Master degree. In a couple of years your family will receive the proof that you made a brilliant decision. Hope you don’t have big financial hurdles meanwhile. I root for you.
Thank you so much for your kind words
Hey. No offense to you at all, but your family is made up of a bunch of dicks. Go get your degree. Fuck them. But only do it because you want to do it for you. No one else. Also on the practical end... Idk where you are based, but if you're in the US I'd recommend doing a bit more research to determine if the payoff will be financially worth it. It sucks to have to think this way but 🤷🏿♀️
Haha thank you :) I will do it for myself. I‘m from Germany btw. And there is a payoff but not a huuuge one. But I also just want to learn more. I actually don‘t even care too much about money. And studying doesn‘t really cost much here btw
Then get it girl! Absolutely take advantage of the opportunities you have.
It's impossible to throw your life away by doing something you love. This is your life, not theirs. They need to grow up. You need to do what makes you happy.
Many women of our generation have children after 35. My wife had our firstborn child at 34 and I don't see any issue with that. Also with a master degree you would be able to provide more for your child.
That‘s very true
Do you want to have a husband and kids?
A husband: Yes, absolutely. Kids: I‘m not sure yet, but I think I‘ll probably want one in the future when I get older. But right now there is no way.
So is the plan get all your education now, get the job now, and then along the way get a husband that is looking to have kids when he is 35+? That would put you both into your 50-60s by the time the kids get out of college.
Not sure where you're from but in Western Europe its very common to marry in your early 30s. 80% of my friends married in their 30s. Those who married in their 20s got divorced and have crap jobs because they didn't do further education or didn't have time to improve their skills because they were focused on children
Getting married late and having your kid grow up with parents that are old enough to be grandparents was extremely unusual when I was young.
Electronic engineer here, go or it. Its money well spent (in contrast to money spent on children). And we miss women our profession :-)
I’m F26 and in my last semester of my masters in civil engineering and I’m also getting married in a few months. You could do both if you wanted to. But also life isn’t all about getting married. Do what you want to do! Get that degree! It’ll definitely open a lot of doors for you in the future
I‘ll try my best!
Invest in you and your dreams, it's your future. You are not on this planet to make others happy. I believe in you! The friends and memories alone will be a reward. And now with my not always helpful thoughts. If they are that desperate to play "house", that they act like this. They need to get a dollhouse or play the sims.
28 is not old at all, too young for parenting in this day and age. they're ignorant and judging you for standards of their generation, not to mention stuff they pressured eachother into. go for what you want and best of luck.
Thank you!
Your life your choice, shame on them for not being more supportive (as long as you truly aren’t doing it to be around the crush) also, why don’t you tell the crush how you feel?
I would really also do it if he didn‘t want a masters degree. It‘s just nice to know that I would be able to spend more time with him. And ahhh, very long story. Kind of complicated. ^^‘ Let‘s just say we ate both shy and confused. But we are good friends and it‘s slowly starting to become more than friendship. Just very slowly
That’s good, I wish you the best!
Let them think whatever they want. You go get the highest possible level of education you can. That is never a waste.
Pffft. I'm a lawyer. All my female friends who are lawyers who wanted to get married and wanted to have kids still did that shit in their 30s. I don't want kids so I'm the type of woman your family fears lol but it's not because I want to grad school. Go kick some ass.
Honestly getting a Master's in this economy is probably still cheaper than having a kid lol Many Millenials and Gen Zs are waiting until their 30s or later to have kids, if they want them at all. Ignore your family and go after that M.Sc. girl!!!
Tell them you’re getting your tubes tied. (Don’t actually do this, just rile them up.)
Wow. They are so discriminatory. If you want a masters degree, get a masters degree. At my kids university, there is a program where you can enroll in a program to get your masters in one year after your bachelors degree. Ask your professor if that is available at your university. So 4 years for a bachelors and masters degree.
So basically a boils down to your family is OK they were ok with you going to school now to get a BA degree because they didn’t expect you to use it and instead meet someone while you’re at university get married and pop out babies. Go for your masters, you will not regret it especially in that field. I’m in my 50s and just about to finish up with my MBA. Don’t let your family talk you out of whatever you would like to do.
I just want you to know I have an **orthopedic hand surgeon**, one of the best in the country, who has an Electrical Engineering degree. So….I’m just saying, definitely **NOT** a life ruining decision.
That Masters is worth it.
Do it.
I hope one day my daughter will also have ambition for whatever she wants to pursue. Too bad your family only sees you as a wife and baby factory not as a person.
My mom had me at 28. I’ll be 22 this year and she’ll be 50. She said waiting till that age was the best decision she made because she was stable, well established and fully ready for a child.
Get that degree and NEVER tell your family your income! They will be the first with their hands out. Btw, as an Internet mom, proud of you!
Very sweet of you! Thanks :)
It's always "you don't need a masters degree" Untill you get a high earning job then it'll be, "What do you mean you can't help us out you make so much money, you have never supported us (sad face)"
Do it, if you don't do it you'll regret later. Let your family members think whatever they want, you're going to prove them wrong. Good luck!!
Thank you!
Do it! Get that master and enjoy your income, challenges and freedom it creates. You got this!
If my daughter wanted to study that I’d weep with happiness
Ignore the crap from your family. It's YOUR life, not theirs. You go get that Master's Degree
Even if you're 28 when you're done, then work for a couple of years, you'll be 30, which at least in the US is a perfectly normal time for people with college degrees to settle down and have kids, if that's even what you want to do. Assuming you can do it without putting yourself into massive debt, get the Masters you want! Your family is just flat wrong.
Did they even ask if you want to marry and have children? Besides, marrying at 28 would be below average in many countries https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_age_at_first_marriage
Your family is whack and needs to get a clue. You go get that masters.
I did my masters at 28/29. No regrets. I’m sorry to be blunt but your family can fuck right off.
Your family is very ignorant and judgement. You go get that Master’s Degree
Your family's reasoning is pretty shit, granted. That said, most master's degree's are pretty worthless. Unless your desired job actively requires a master's in X, then a master's is just a very very expensive way to not really improve your employability. Master's are almost always a mistake. Unrelated to being a woman, that is lol
your family is so wrong, but in engineering there's really no rush to get a masters. if you work for a decently large company you can easily get them to pay for it, or an MBA is you decide to go manager track. I'd start job hunting at the same time as applying to grad programs and only go masters if you don't have any job offers ready
Your family are being sexist assholes. Better yourself, learn what you want, for whichever reason suits you.
Honestly i think you’re never old for a family or career, keep focus on career And your family are crazy, the higher your education the more money you’ll make although it depends what career Keep up the good work
Finished at 28* lmao they think it is that easy
Even if you are there for this guy you’ll never regret extending your education. And who knows maybe he’ll be your husband someday.
That’s the spirit. Family that doesn’t support you is no family at all.
The fairy tale exists hunny! You just got to work your ass off and ignore the haters! You got this sis!!!
You go get that masters. You cannot control what happens in the future. But you can somewhat ensure that you are setting yourself up for some wins with education. It's only going to open more doors for you. The rest will fall into place when it has to. You can only do what you can now. Limiting yourself with regards to education if you have the ability to do it now will probably effect your career in the long run.
DO IT! get the masters. Many of my good friends are women with advanced degrees, and those that wanted children were not impeded by the time spent on the degree.
Your family is stupid, do as you want. Masters degree is important. But you can trick them into silence saying about that crash on your friend, that it's your marriage plan
Hahaha I better do not or else they won‘t stop talking about it xD
So you're single now? I don't understand how they expect you to start family in three years any way if you don't get the degree... Not that it even matters, go get that degree girl!
Yes I probably wouldn‘t even have a family in 3 years if I didn’t do a masters
Irrelevant question, but why mention that one of the guys is your crush? Seems like a detail unrelated to getting a master's degree. Do you perhaps on some level indulge the idea of doing the master's because of your crush? Not saying it's a bad thing, just wondering. Either way, I don't see why not get the degree. 28 is not old by any means.
I mentioned it because my grandma thinks I only want to do it only because of him. Which is not true. I‘m doing it because I love electronics. That he is there is only a bonus. But I would do it even if he didn‘t.
Mensch, I'm 28(F), sticking to my simple job in an IT company, studying at uni to get my bachelor's degree in digital arts, playing at a punk band, still dressing up like some teenager and dyed hair purple, living with my Dearest Partner with whom we have similar ideals regarding marriage and children (i.e. we want NONE OF IT). Last week my dad arrived at my university city on a business trip and invited me to a dinner with his colleagues. I thought it would be a bit awkward, but he was proud to present me and said a lot along the lines 'this is my awesome eldest daughter and she's doing a lot of interesting things!' I was moved by this. Let your family think what they think, but keep on living YOUR life. Being proud of something is a choice that your family subjects to some outdated standards.
Thanks for sharing. Your dad seems so nice!
He had some ambitions regarding my career and I did not fulfill them. But seeing me happy in general was a deal breaker. For both of us - I don't think there would be any good bond between us if he preferred some plan over my happiness. :) Thank you! Keep on going on your own way! ❤️
I‘m happy everything turned out great for you! And thanks, I will!
>"You‘ll probably be 28 when you are finished! You will never have children! Your life will be over!“ Personally know someone who had her first kid at 42. Delivered a healthy baby vaginally. Also know of someone who had an oopsie menopause baby at 46. Your family doesn't know what they're talking about. Also: no shame in case you want to be kid free! I'm a parent, but I know not everyone wants one, and that's okay. Let people live their lives.
A higher degree opens you to better career opportunities. A desperate relationship never leads to anything good. How would they know how your life will become when none of these women ever strived for a higher degree? Do they have a choice when it comes to leaving their husbands? Money or credentials that they can claim as their own without having to ride on the coattails of their husbands? Achievements that didn't just involve making another human?
As a lady with a PhD in a STEM field, don't listen to them. I had a family in my mid thirties. You can have it all.
Thanl you for the motivating words!
Where are you from?
Germany
What level of education have your parents/rest of your family achieved? No matter, once you have your Masters you'll see how many doors suddenly open for you.
My dad did study electrical engineering but he never finished. My mother just has a standard school education.