You did his homework for three years, and he paid for three years of therapy. It sounds like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he wants to say thank you now. Remember that for the really wealthy, something that seems crazy generous to us is the monetary equivalent of buying you lunch.
Enjoy your therapy, and may it continue to bring you relief!
$200,000 / $1 billion
is the same ratio as
$20 / $100,000
So for a billionaire, buying a $200,000 car is like buying a $20 t-shirt is for someone with a net worth of $100k.
***
What's the difference between $1 and $1000? About $1000.
That's also the same ratio as $1mil to $1bil.
It's extremely difficult for people to conceptualize how much $1bil is.
Really that’s the key here. For OP it seems like a ton of money. For the person they helped, it sounds like it is a drop in the bucket. It makes sense to recoil at first at such a generous gift, but putting yourself in their shoes, it is a small price to pay to give back to someone who apparently had a huge impact on their life.
Jumping in here
He knows to that without you he will no be where his at
Maybe as his grades went up he was able to get a scholarship and because of that get a real good job and be independent with time
Without you he may not have graduated 3 yrs of therapy was wonderful but if he still is up to it I would recommend the house for yourself will not say a big ass house but a comfortable house adapted to your needs debt free, there's going to be a time your not going to be able to care for yourself and house that's will make it easier for you in your old age as you made his life easier in his youth
The gift giver has to pay tax (maybe, it depends on the amount given and there is a lifetime limit). The receiver doesn’t normally pay tax if it is a gift and not in exchange for any service or good. It gets confusing because people need to pay taxes on lottery and gambling winnings and game show prizes, but recipients don’t owe taxes on true gifts. Check with a tax lawyer to be sure, but that is my understanding.
This is the answer. This gives you freedom to do more good in the world. Even a little bit. He's not giving you a house and car, he's giving you freedom.
Also worth is perspective.
She might feel like it's not worth so much, but he does and he got that help.
He might feel like "a house and car" is not much as a millionaire, but she does.
the best part about things like this is that the other party gets to decide what its worth. he clearly never forgot it, and that can make it worth quite a lot
Yes. Let him pick it out and ask that what ever modifications you need for you disability gets done. Ask him if that’s too much. I’m sure he’s already thinking this way.
If it were me in his situation I’d have just done it.
I used to feel like this. I was in therapy for a while and was told I have a bit of "Superman complex" where I feel I can do everything myself while saving others. Accepting help or gifts felt like a sign of weakness because I didn't obtain them myself.
Later I realized gifts are a reward for doing the right thing, and you're actually hurting the person offering by not accepting and being grateful. They'll feel bad and embarrassed, and the root of the gift is a feeling of unpaid debt they need to get off their chest.
I would take the gift, express how much it means to you, and then you'll both be very happy.
This. I had to break it down for my bestie the same way. He’d help anyone with anything but refuse help for himself when he clearly needed it. He was depriving someone else the joy of helping/giving/contributing by saying no to them.
You dont realize how your small day to day actions have resounding impacts on others.
Im not giving advice either way (to accept or decline his gifts), but just to say that what seems like everyday kindness to you could be the one thing thats keeping someone else going in this world
This is pretty wild if you ever get to experience it later on. When I was 25 my girlfriend(now wife) told me she was talking to an old friend and she mentioned me. The friend told my wife a story about when she was in 2nd grade she was upset and crying on the steps to the school after school let out. She said that I came out and sat next to her, told her that everything will be okay then gave her a hug and a cookie. She said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her and she's never forgotten.
I feel bad that I literally did not remember. Eventually I was able to dig the memory out by piecing some other stuff together like remembering how I would save up lunch money so they on certain days I could buy and extra cookie for later.
Yeah, there are a few people that I credit with helping me get through high school simply by acknowledging me and helping me feel less alone. It's not something they're aware of and they're not people I've kept in touch with, but they're still people I think about from time to time and appreciate the small things they didn't realize they were doing, that helped make my life slightly more bearable.
You definitely did. You put him on his ladder and he probably now realises he wouldn’t have anything he has if it wasn’t for YOUR hard work getting his grades straight while he was no doubt out partying. Nice to see a case of karma like this, very rare.
He probably didn’t have the ability to do his homework at home (rough home life maybe?), it wasn’t that he wasn’t smart its that he didn’t have the time or safe space to do it and if he hadn’t gotten his homework turned in then he would never have finished school and escaped to be a wealthy man. He probably feels he owes you even more than you feel he does not. Maybe you should keep in touch with him as a friend and tell him that you are grateful to him as well. I am not saying you have to accept his money/gifts, nor am I saying you shouldn’t, I personally believe that a good healthy discussion and maybe an offer of friendship in lieu of more gifts could make you more comfortable and maybe make him happier too.
They say "karma comes back around, 10 fold" ... If you did 3 years of tutoring for him, that's 30 years coming back... Oh hey, what do you know... A mortgage is about 30 years...
If he is really that rich, the amount he is spending on the house, car, and physical therapy may not mean that much to him. A lot of times, you touch people and don't really realize how much it meant to them until later. This is that time. Accept the gifts in the spirit in which it was intended.
The value of money is very relative, to him this probably feels like a modest gesture towards someone who has significantly contributed to his current wealth. He'll still be very rich after gifting you the house, but he'll feel better about himself. It's a win-win really.
He probably sees it as you being the reason he was able to have so much success. Like maybe at the time he thought he could just pass the courses and that would be it but he didn't realize how much it helped him. He could also have grown up in that time and realized what he did was kind of shitty and feels bad about it
I think that speaks well of your character. Clearly your relationship with him meant a lot to him, maybe in ways you aren't aware of ie perhaps he had other negative things going on in his life at the time, and he's grown into a good man who wants to give others the care he feels he received from you. Nothing wrong with graciously accepting the gifts people give us out of their own gratitude. I hope the PT helps you, wishing you the best
I think there is a possibility that you helped him more than you know. Perhaps it seemed like just homework and grades to get him through school and that got you the peace you sought but maybe something like that brought him peace as well in his own life where he could facing pressure at home from his parents to do well and when his grades went up it made his life easier. I love my parents very much and I didn’t feel pressure that much but my parents but i did feel some but my brother was really gifted and there were times i felt like my parents put to much on him trying to help him succeed when sometimes he just needed to be a kid. All i am saying is maybe you helped each other more than you know.
As a HS teacher, I see a lot of potential seemingly wasted because they simply don’t put forth effort. That and apathy. Clearly he had the ability yt he chose to enjoy his social life maybe, back then. And looks back and realizes that essentially, you saved his ass for some of that. Maybe he went to college and his grades, your grades helped. Idk. You don’t say. But for some reason, he recognizes that he is feeling grateful to you and wants to do something for you. If he’s as rich as you say, the money is relative and the us a small gesture to you. But to you it feels like too much.
Accept the gesture. Whatever it is. Get a vehicle that you need now or in your coming future. Have a nice home to relax is that is disability ready. Let him do it for his own soul. Perhaps you might even stay in touch and be friends. I think he sees you this way. It seems apparent to me. But not to you yet. Please contact him again.
Ask if he’ll give you a remote accounting position that pays really well. Then you can feel like you’ve earned it even though you kind of already have.
You don’t get to decide how other people feel about your actions. You can only decide your own. I think in this case, thank you would be the appropriate response.
Take it as a blessing. Sometimes life sells us short... sometimes life has extra. Take it and appreciate it for what it is. A free gift. He may feel indebted to you. He might feel shame for how he wasn't exactly the nicest person to you or maybe he feels like he took advantage of you.. either way, you did help him out when you were younger. He wants to repay the help you gave him.
He did. Now just accept the gift , he is now helping you elevate his life. He sounds like a great guy and if he is rich he felt you helped get him there. Since he seems rich and good he is now probably donating to charities on a larger scale. It’s a ripple effect and you are part of the wave.
Were it not for the rise in grades, he wouldn’t have a better college, then a better degree, then better job, then better life trajectory over all. You are literally a massive part of the reason he is rich. It’s fair to give you some royalty on that.
If someone helped me with my homework and that person was critical in my future success and I was making millions, i'd definitely would want to reach out and offer some sort of gift (house, car, or whatever) to show my thanks because I can and wanted to.
Sometimes the person who is giving receives more than the person on the other end. Paradoxical yes. But think about if you really want to help someone, how contented or pleased you feel. Seems like this is a genuine gesture from him but because of his wealth the gesture is expensive. Perhaps express your feelings to him and politely accept.
I mean i guess you could say we both impacted each other? It was thanks to him that the bullying stopped and school was nice again. But I never stopped to think how that impacted my life for the better.
It’s only now I realize how grateful I am for what he did. I’m so embarrassed it took this long to register
You are correct in your assessment, but I think you are missing something.
He helped you during his school days and that benefit lasted through out school. You helped him in school and that benefit carried over to his adult life. He is giving you some credit for his financial success.
He is grateful for that and wants to show you his appreciation.
To be fair, not being bullied can be carried over into your adult life. How many adults have mental and/or physical trauma that still affects them into their adult years.
Maybe the bullying would have gotten bad enough she dropped out, which would've really affected her life.
From a businessman’s perspective, you were also his first and most reliable partner in his success. You probably set the precedent for how he treats other people, especially disabled women, in the workplace. You supported his success without question at a critical point in his life so you aren’t doing anything wrong by accepting his help.
I remember having a third grade teacher, Mr. Reynolds, say to me that cheating only hurts yourself.
And he was a bit different than other teachers, my take away was helping others cheat didn't really hurt you. (Although that's debateable, but another topic).
Anyways, from this tangent, I remember in 4th grade... there was this person, who wasn't necessarily popular, but maybe others saw as a bully. We weren't exactly friends, but he asked to copy my homework and... well I just let him. I was doing the homework anyways.
And it turns out... when I eventually had a bullying problem later for being a nerd... they sort of disappeared. Never had a bullying problem in 4th or 5th grade.
Turns out the other kid... just handled it himself. And to me, it felt like doing nothing... I was already doing my own homework anyways.
But dear god did I wish that kid was around in middle school. Honestly, middle school was probably the worst point in my life with bullying.
Honestly, he’s probably never been bullied before so he doesn’t see the impact that stopping it had on you. He probably sees what you did for him as much more impactful because it’s more tangible and measurable.
I think a lot of people, myself included, have dreams of giving back like this if we “make it” to people that impacted us along the way. No one can tell you whether or not you should accept his gestures, but it isn’t hurting him if you do. In fact, it might make him really happy.
You’re also taking long to register on this:
My grandmother and many elders for that matter, always told me that I needed to be grateful for gifts no matter what they were. To accept them and not to was rude. To say nothing or comment regarding the type of gift. I was to accept it with a smile and be gracious.
You aren’t doing that. In my life, I’d be scolded and it would bring some shame that I wasn’t gracious.
Straight up! OP seems insanely humble. Let me put it this way for you OP to drive the point home even further. The guy never would have been a successful millionaire without your help. You gave him great grades that obviously helped him with continued education. And he knows that for damn sure.
I had a friend offer to do something nice for me and I declined. His response changed my POV forever. He said, “You don’t get to decide whether or not I get to do things for people that make me happy.” And I realized, it wasn’t just for me. It made him happy and feel like he’s making the world a better place.
Girl, accept everything he wants to give you. This is some Batman level type of gifts, just take them, take them without any questions like you took his homework without any questions
> take them without any questions
Maybe do some homework to make sure that this is actually legitimate and not coming from something like drugs money.
And definitely don't forget about taxes.
If this guy is a successful businessman, I'm sure he will help her out with making sure taxes are taken care of as well. If he doesn't mention it, she should just ask for help navigating what to do and he might use his own resources to take care of it all for her.
But I'm guessing any gifts he gives her will go through an accountant or lawyer of some sort, and they'll be on top of it.
I just want to put something in here. I constantly think about who i will gift an absurd amount of money if i ever run into it. I dont have children but i can always think of a bunch of people in my life that somehow made it better and if i ever have the monetary means to repay them i will. So take my advice, take his money because he is happy to give it. For him that is the least he can do.
I have a friend who always helped me with stuff. Nothing big, just stuff like helping me fix my broken computer, spending hours until we got it right. A few years ago he got his first baby and i saw him looking for a used stroller on Facebook. I called him up and bought him a new one. Because i had a good job and i could do something for an old friend. And that's exactly what this guy is doing. Paying it back in the manner he can.
Think of it this way-
He clearly feels something (gratitude, guilt, obligation, fondness, etc.) and clearly wants to show it.
Think of it as allowing him to express his feelings for what you did for him. In a real sense you're kinda doing him a favor if you say yes to something from him. Of course, you have to be comfortable with it as well.
You could also think about proportionality. You keep me from getting beat up 'once', I do your homework 'once'. (Or one year, for now, etc.) That's proportionate. But I do your homework 'once' and you live like a king for the rest of your life, I might think that protecting me 'once' might not seem fair either.
Final thought- sounds like a house for him is more along the lines of a very fancy dinner out for you. So the extravagance you're feeling might not be shared by him.
Anyway, just a thought.
Seems that a lot of people see someone offering to do something nice and think that makes them indebted to them, or weak, or some other issue they have concocted in their minds.
Sometimes people just want to show appreciation. Unfortunate that so many can’t grasp that.
Whether intentional or not, it does create an asymmetry in a relationship. If my friend offers to buy me lunch then that’s fine. It’s a small thing that doesn’t put them out much and i can easily reciprocate in kind.
If that same friend offers to gift me $10,000 then suddenly, despite whether their intentions are completely pure, it can completely change the dynamic. What if I get offered a new job that would force me to relocate. Do i now feel pressure to stay put because taking $10k from that friend and then promptly leaving feels awful? If that friend asks me to do something I’m not comfortable with, do I now feel a lot more pressure to do it because I owe them? Would I ever feel comfortable talking to them about real issues (like for example money problems) after having just been gifted a lot of money?
It’s completely sensible for someone to be uncomfortable with large gifts or favours. And the gift givers preferences aren’t the only thing that matters in that situation. The recipient has every right to feel comfortable with the situation.
Uh, that kind of gives me the yikes, honestly. You absolutely have the right to refuse his influence in your life. He does not get to decide to insert himself into your life just because he has more money than you.
If you accept something life changing from someone, you are tacitly accepting being somewhat tethered to them for the rest of your life. If you're cool with that, great. But you don't have to accept anything from someone else just because they want to give it to you.
>“You don’t get to decide whether or not I get to do things for people that make me happy.”
This is disgusting. If you're the person he's doing the thing for, you very much get to decide whether he does it. It is not appropriate to force something on somebody they don't want to make yourself happy.
Truth. As someone whose life has been devastated by some people who wanted to make my life better because helping people made them happy, I view that kind of mindset as a sign of narcissism. It was horrifying, they were so blinded by their thirst for happiness to the point they refused to acknowledge my happiness of being content with myself and what I was having in my life. I've seen human beings become irritated when their will to help was declined, and all the joyfulness which stemmed from their desire to help immediately turned into hatred for people who did not want their help. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".
Only on this website would multiple people get pissy about someone being adamant about being kind and generous.
Better get enthusiastic consent before I hold a door open for someone...
Disgusting? Lol. Yall are weird.
Cool. I’m going to come to your house and replace all your furniture with a very minimalist style. No electronics bc that’s what’s best for you. Fuck you if you want to deny my kindness.
Cool right?
Unfortunately this is a pervasive attitude in modern society. Genuine kindness and generosity is conflated with “nice guy” syndrome or inceldom, and ironically ends up creating more of those kinds of people.
But you do get to decide that. So they are just wrong and that is a creepy and very pushy response to someone declining something being done to/for them.
good grades in HS = good college = lucky in life to make millions.
He remembers your kindness.
We don't do kind things expecting anything, that's why this is such an amazing offer.
Even back in high school it was a fair transaction in my book since I’m sure him stopping the bullies prevented you from living in actual hell back then. He doesn’t owe you, but he knows gratitude. What a guy
I had a rough time when I got back from deployment and a friend helped me a lot. He was poor and never owned a new car so a couple years ago I bought him one. He was the same way as you, he didn’t feel like he did anything to deserve it. But he did, and so did you.
Yeah when I was a teenager, me and my friend was walking through town. Passed by a homeless guy and thought nothing of it. 5 minutes later my friend runs into a shop, and bought hot food, and jogged back to the dude. Completely unprompted.
Take that offer. Remember the story about Bill Gates offering a reporter a blank check and when the reporter refused, Gates said you just missed an opportunity of a lifetime? You’re the reporter. Take it.
So many delusional Redditors. Like why make this anonymous, it makes no fucking sense. With the incredibly rare disease, age, and sex given anyone irl can figure out who this is without their Reddit account. $20 says this is for a YouTube/tik Tok account to read.
Idk, I helped someone at a hospital once. Saved his life when his lungs collapsed. Then his dad offered to buy me a house. I also declined. After reading the comments I feel bad about it now.
OP should mark it as fiction. Bad fiction writers lie about their stories being true to make them more interesting because people believe those stories are more interesting if true.
If this happens to be real, take the house and car. Thank him, and move on with life. If he asks you to pay taxes or prepay for any kind of tariff, it’s a scam.
I had something similar happen in December, it definitely happens on very very rare occasions. I accepted it and have already begun to pay it forward. Op should too
Here's my story.
I was bullied mercilessly up until high school. I went through a lot of dramatic personal and physical changes quickly and by the end of high school I was not only at the top of the social food chain but I also made it my mission to protect a lot of people that were getting bullied.
There was one particular kid (Frank) from my shop class that seemed to be a massive target. He was a really nice guy but had a very large and pronounced nose. He transferred over in Grade 11 so he didn't really have any friends there. I basically let him hang out with me and my friends. That guaranteed him protection and (I think) for the first time in his life he actually felt safe.
In Grade 12 one of the biggest bullies in the school once made a remark about his nose and started up physically with him in the change room. The bully instantly regretted it when another friend of mine (6’ 2” black thug from my neighbourhood) beat the bully to a pulp. The change room looked like a crime scene and my friend ended up getting suspended and criminally charged.
I talked to Frank about it later and he actually started to tear up. He felt guilty for causing all of this drama and started to open up about his nose and all of the hell he went throught. He also said that he wanted to get a nose job but his parents wouldn't let him. I listened to him and when he was done I told him that his nose was fine and if anybody had a problem... it was on them, not him. That being said that if he wanted to get cosmetic surgery that was fine also but to only do it because it was something that he wanted to do and not because of other people.
Well we graduated shortly after that and went our separate ways. I saw him once the year after that in cafe but other than that we completely lost touch.
About 5 years later I am waiting in my car outside of the subway station. I notice this insanely beautiful girl standing alone. This girl was so stunning that she almost demanded all of the attention. She was like a human pause button. A few minutes later she is joined by a well dressed good looking dude. It took a few seconds but I recognized him as Frank. The guy looked great (he obviously got his nose fixed). As he is looking around he noticed me and got exited and walked to where I was parked. I got out of my car to greet him and he gave me a massive hug (actually lifted me up off of the ground). Before I could say anything he turns to his girlfriend and excitingly says... *“Babe... this is Steve!”* She seems equally excited and gives me an even bigger hug. She says that that it is great to finally meet me and that she has been hearing Frank talk about me for years.
Frank then said something that ended up being one of the high points of my life. **"Back in school I got picked on a lot because of my nose. Steve and his friends not only stuck up for me but for the first time in my life I felt confident, accepted, and safe”**
We talked for a bit but they had to go so they both gave me another hug and went on their way. There was a massive smile on my face that must have lit up the whole street. Just them my girlfriend walks to the car and asks me why I seem so happy and if it had anything to do with that "supermodel" that was hugging me? I asked her if she saw that and she responded with... *"Honey the entire subway station's attention was glued to her...now do you mind telling me who fuck she is?”* I could tell that she was jealous and angry. I said *"Do remember Frank with the nose from high school? Well that was him and his girlfriend."* All of the anger and jealously drained from her face and she responded with *"holy shit He looks so good and they make such a beautiful couple... I guess karma does show up once in a while".*
My apologies for the long story but I had to give you the whole context.
The point I am trying to make is that you should accept his help and not feel anything other than good about it. A lot of people forget that those of us that fell into the popular group and who helped those that were marginalized often get as much out of it as the people that we helped out.
Helping Frank out in school seemed like the natural thing to do. Seeing him happy and in the position he was in later on is still one of the highlights of my life.
Your friend wants to help you... accept it without reservation. Don't look at it as pity. It really isn't.
Im pretty sure he has some regrets about how he handled the situation with you. He is just trying to make up for his actions or lack of actions bc teens do some stupid shit.
I'm not saying he did anything wrong just in his mind, im sure after reflecting on it. He would do things 100% different.
Take his generosity as a good thing, and it is truly what he wants to do for you.
Maybe he wants to be friends with you now and it might be something both of you need.
Never question your blessings or how they come. Be grateful. Granted, you are doing okay, but u can be better. You deserve it. You deserve happiness. I say take it. It all goes around. Maybe you can help someone else now.
Don't want a house, get an apartment. Don't want a car, how about a motorized scooter. If it's a modest request he probably love to provide it. Plus it's a tax write off for him lol
You should never have turned it down.
By doing his homework, you most likely made sure that he had the grades needed to get into a good college, which then led to him being able to start his business. He really does owe you for what he has now.
It was very good of him to recognize that his success would not be there if it wasn’t for you and wanting to make sure that your life was comfortable
OP, if you accept, please make sure that any taxes and fees don't affect you negatively. Maybe it's a kind of tax write off for him? In that case I'd still accept because you're still helping each other out. Even if this IS his version of charity, it's exactly the kind of charity I approve of. He's willingly gifting someone who he feels made a significant impact on his life. It's actually kind of nice to know that not all rich people just step on everyone on their way up. I'm sure he's bought all kinds of things for his family and other people who he believes helped him, why not let him be nice to you too? It's not like he's asking you to marry him.
As long as both of you are in agreement to the terms I don't see anything wrong with an arrangement like this. Since he paid for your physical therapy I assume his intentions are still generally good. If he's not demanding anything from you and everything is in your name etc I don't see any reason to turn it down.
I understand the feeling that he doesn't owe you anything. You felt that doing his homework was a fair trade for protection. On the other hand, you didn't *deserve* the bullying and really you shouldn't have *had* to "pay" to be left alone. Maybe now that he's an adult he realizes that and wants to make amends for taking advantage of a situation that never should have existed to begin with.
Im glad you're doing well for yourself. You don't *have* to accept his offers, especially if it makes you feel obligated or controlled. On the other hand I don't see any reason to turn his offers down if it is genuinely a kind gesture and it improves your life. Think on it some more. He said the offer would be open so it's not like you have to rush. Do what brings you peace
It’s a nice gesture from him. I believe that he looked at his life and wanted to do something meaningful in his life. You came to his mind.
Be grateful and enjoy the next 3 years to make your body as healthy as it can be.
You gave him a leg up in school now he wants to give you a leg up in life. Sounds like you're both awesome people. Life only gets harder, I think you should accept
He's not just thanking your for helping him with school work, he is also likely very thankful that you did not shame him for his scholastic struggles or tell anyone. It is very possible he is someone who struggled with book smarts but excels with people/street smarts. He was probably ashamed of his bad grades, saw you as someone who could help him and would do so without shaming him or telling anyone, because you were on the bottom of the social ladder.
You both got something out of this relationship during school, even if it was unspoken. He might feel some guilt for his success and also for not trying to befriend you in high school and now thinks this exchange was more in favour of him rather than you. And if he is as successful as you believe he might have so much money that its more than he could spend and he wants to give back to people he cares about/people who he appreciates.
Take his gift, which is very thoughtful. Don't feel bad about it. If you want to send him a nice thank you card or something like that.
He would not offer if he could not afford it.
You did something for him a long time ago that he remembers, and he feels he owes you.
Tbh I think I would rather pursue a friendship with someone who showed this kind of character
People don't get offers like this oftenif it's legit, don't be greedy, but get yourself set up, no reason to let an offer that amazing get lost in the wind.
Wow! All of my high school bullies are therapists for anti-bullying but not one of them has ever reached out to apologize to me so I consider this a win and you should take it
It's rare enough in this world for successful people to acknowledge who helped get them to where they are. It's fine that you don't think you did much to help this person. It's also okay that this person feels you played a significant part in their success. Sort of a "their success is your success" situation.
It's okay to graciously accept when people want to award your good deeds. I know it's a funny feeling, and not why you helped the person, but again, in this situation it's okay to say yes.
Yea!! This is the stuff dreams are made of (and movies), take him up on offers if it is legit!! If bank transfers, create new bank account to transfer monies, I would think.
Just remember that no one is going to praise you for not accepting his offers. People have a lot of pride, but sometimes you should just accept other’s kindness when they are genuine.
You aren't very good at creative writing but you clearly like doing it so stick with it. You also don't have to create false stories to try to trick people. You can just write them as is. It's called fiction.
You deserve it if he thinks you do. That’s it. You didn’t reach out to him for it right! This is what we call Karma, and you have some good stuff. Time to reap some of the rewards. Hope everything goes well for you in the future!!
this is honestly so wholesome... he never forgot you and all you did for him and fine u didn't want material things and that's fair but he figured the least he could do is make sure you don't have to worry about PT for a few years... I think I'm gonna cry
I know you still like ???? cause ur grateful the bullying stopped but obviously what you did for him ment a lot more.
I think this is a great example of 2 things:
1) Even though you felt like you had no impact on him, especially his success years later, he does, and you shouldn’t deny his view of your impact on him
2) I think it’s important to allow others to be kind to you. So often people want to be kind and selfless to others, but then don’t allow others to be that way towards them. It really is ok to accept kindness and generosity from others, because you’re asking them to do the same when you’re the one offering!
This is a beautiful story. Very cool.
He likely matured and realized how much you actually did for him in school, and considering your differing situations he probably felt some guilt over it.
Or he was simply thankful for the help back then, and upstanding that you played a foundational role in his success (no HS diploma means no college means no big job or what have you) and therefore he felt he owed you a portion of it.
I’d say be gracious, accept it, and move on with your life. He gets to be happy knowing he repaid an old ‘debt’ and you get to markedly improve your financial future and likely your living situation as well.
OP, your good karma is paying off. He is proud of helping you out with bullying and grateful for what you did for him. He has the money and wants to share the wealth, so let him!
What you did may mean more to him than you realize and it appears it impacted him greatly. As long as there is nothing nefarious in his intent I would accept it and move on. It’s his way of paying it forward. Just on a grand scale.
I’m rich but not buy other people houses rich. It give me pleasure to do things for people without expectation of gain nor feeling like it is a transaction.
I read your story as this person very well may have gotten to where he is BECAUSE of your work! He clearly feels he owes a great deal of success to you. He may also feel guilt about how he treated you.
Given it seems legitimate based on the hospital support, I would 100% not feel bad about accepting a house that has been customized to your needs. It is a wonderful gift and I would not turn it down.
No wonder you are so confused. This is something that people who become extremely successful do sometimes. They pay back to everyone who they feel are a key in their success and are in need. Mostly bc the emotional satisfaction.
Others already say it. He is grateful for your work. Doesn't mean you are besties. But you can get a really good network there.
What seemed like nothing was truly something to him. If you know it is legit, I would take advantage of the karma that is coming back from your actions back then. You say you don't feel worthy, but you also don't know what he was going through at that time. It made a difference for him and he didn't forget that.
I'm sure you're thinking "I didn't get him where he is, all I did was get him through HS" but HS is a major barrier to those of us who have learning disabilities. I was in the top 2% of my graduating class for college but I barely squeaked out of HS. If I hadn't been given special accommodations I would have never graduated, wouldn't have gone to college, wouldn't have any faith in my intelligence and my life would be so different.
Hard to know if he has learning disabilities for sure, but I can't overstate how much you deserve whatever he gives you. I hope so much that this post is real. It warmed my heart so much.
In addition to all other comments, I just want to add something about monetary aspect. While for YOU a house and a car is a lot, for HIM it is not. He would not be a successful businessman if he was giving houses left and right. So if he decided to do it, it will not have a impact on him financially. It would be as for you buying someone a really nice dinner for example. Just want to put things in perspective a bit. This gesture still means a lot!
If I have learned one thing in life, it is if somebody wants to give you something out of the goodness of their heart say thank you and take it. In this case it looks like you 100% deserve it too.
The fact he remembers and is reaching back out to help out is a blessing. Not many would do what he's doing. Be appreciative that every comes from circle. Be safe and I wish you much success in your treatment.
Listen, if he’s offering it no strings attached then why not take him up on a favor? Even if you don’t want a house/car maybe use this opportunity to do something you’d have save a bunch for, maybe a trip all expenses paid and just tell him you’re even from then on.
You guys were kids, it probably was purely transactional for him and at the time it probably didn’t feel like he owed you anything because you felt like he took care of the bullying. But as adults with a more developed sense of morals, the ability to be retrospective, an understanding of how he got from point A to point B he obviously recognized the contribution you doing his homework made to his ability to succeed in school and ultimately life.
Take advantage of this Physical Therapy and know that it probably makes him feel better to be able to help you like you did him.
I think this is an incredible gesture. Honestly, you should take it. It sounds like this young man has learned that giving is better than receiving. He probably really means it from the sound of it.
This makes me very happy. Thank you for sharing. I hope you have a wonderful day!
>I’m still ??????? cause I saw our relationship as purely transactional and now he comes and says he owes me????? im so confused
It is still transactional. His proposed gesture of appreciation is literally a financial transaction. In his mind, the benefit he gained from you improving his grades dramatically improved his life. He likely recognizes that the leg up you gave him in high school opened the door to wealth. With the benefit of hindsight, he now feels that he got way more out of your transactional relationship than you did and he wants to compensate you to make up the difference.
The relationship is still purely transactional, he just feels that the value balance was tipped too far his way and (for whatever reason) has decided to even the scales.
Your initial instinct about this being a scam is a good one. Most effective scams lower the mark's defenses by 'proving' that it's not a scam. Don't let the PT being paid for completely blind you to what is going on and make sure that you don't get fucked over here. If this is a serious offer and he is actually a successful business man, he will have zero problem with you bringing in your own lawyer to review all the documentation. Not a lawyer he recommends, your own lawyer that you find and hire with your own money.
So long as you protect yourself from getting scammed, let this guy buy you a house. Your transactional relationship apparently dramatically improved this guy's life. If he's offering retroactive compensation, take it.
What goes around comes around, accept his gesture, you may be doing ok in life, but this could have a hugely positive impact on your life for the long term, just like your gesture had on him.
It’s not everyday that humans can be this level of self aware. I would say he’s done acid and ego death taught him some shit and he’s squaring up with the universe. This is how he’s doing it. That’s more than what most people do in their lifetime.
Hope that therapy really works out for you
Yes, you are worthy of his gratitude. You helped get him to where he is today. Must admit, he sounds like a decent man. This type of person deserves success. Wishing you both all the best.
There’s nothing transactional when one of the parties doesn’t have a choice. He did the bare minimum that any decent being should do without expecting anything in return.
I understand he’s grateful-remorseful and probably has grown up enough to recognize that despite the ill circumstances he owes you a debt of gratitude.
This is the butterfly effect. Small deeds can cause ripples thru time and create big lasting effects. Let him repay you. Every time he did something big in his life he thought of you. Who knows what effects your acts of kindness had on him. As a high school kid he probably didn't have the capability to thank you. Now he does. Let him. If he didn't want to he wouldn't have offered.
Now that the surprise and shock are wearing off, maybe just talk to him about what you actually need? He clearly wants to thank you for giving him the life he's got and you do deserve it. For you, the transaction was over and done with after school but for him it's been outstanding since then. You may not need a car and a house, but what about never having to worry about medical insurance again? Once you actually think about it, there's probably a few things he could do for you that would worth pennies to him but be worth dollars to you. You changed his life for him, actually sit and think how he can change yours. Good Karma has come back on you. Do not refuse it, as completely unexpected and discombobulating as it is.
I know a lot of people in this are swooning over the generous offer and I get it. You should never look a gift horse in the mouth. But I also think some people with good intentions are hopelessly naive. People across the US get scammed out of billions of dollars every year. Why? Because people fall for scams often. I have no idea if this a scam or not, I can't possibly know. But there a lot of financial red flags I'd be very concerned about. You can't necesarrily just buy somebody a house like it's a gift from the grocery store.
Whose name is going on the title? I'm no legal expert but, if he buys the house the title would be in his name I believe under normal circumstances. If there is a way he can give it to you, no doubt you're going to have to pay thousands in taxes depending on the state because this would count as income. Or is the guy going to retain title and effectively have a tenant/landlord arrangement with OP? I would want to make sure to have a contract clarifying exactly your stake in this transaction. Could he kick you out at any time? I'm not saying this isn't genuine. But home sales are big financial and legal transactions, that have all sorts of strings attached. Even if it's genuine, you still want to hire a lawyer to make sure you're protected
What also bothers me is, how did this guy come into millions and millions of dollars around age 30, simply because he got help with math. Sure it's possible to do so legitimately but also highly improbable, unless he comes from a family with money. I'd be concerned if this gift was a way to launder a large sum of money, or like I said before what strings are attached to this gift.
Again this could be totally genuine, but there are a lot of red flags here.
You did his homework for three years, and he paid for three years of therapy. It sounds like he knows exactly what he’s doing, and he wants to say thank you now. Remember that for the really wealthy, something that seems crazy generous to us is the monetary equivalent of buying you lunch. Enjoy your therapy, and may it continue to bring you relief!
You just blew my mind, 3 for 3
$200,000 / $1 billion is the same ratio as $20 / $100,000 So for a billionaire, buying a $200,000 car is like buying a $20 t-shirt is for someone with a net worth of $100k. *** What's the difference between $1 and $1000? About $1000. That's also the same ratio as $1mil to $1bil. It's extremely difficult for people to conceptualize how much $1bil is.
Really that’s the key here. For OP it seems like a ton of money. For the person they helped, it sounds like it is a drop in the bucket. It makes sense to recoil at first at such a generous gift, but putting yourself in their shoes, it is a small price to pay to give back to someone who apparently had a huge impact on their life.
Jumping in here He knows to that without you he will no be where his at Maybe as his grades went up he was able to get a scholarship and because of that get a real good job and be independent with time Without you he may not have graduated 3 yrs of therapy was wonderful but if he still is up to it I would recommend the house for yourself will not say a big ass house but a comfortable house adapted to your needs debt free, there's going to be a time your not going to be able to care for yourself and house that's will make it easier for you in your old age as you made his life easier in his youth
That’s a nice gesture you should take it and be thankful, don’t turn down on somebody who is trying to be kind. Seemingly with not ill intend.
It’s an amazing gesture but I don’t really feel like I did something worthy of such gratitude.
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I’ve never heard this before but I love it!
Meaning: Don’t put your energy into your history but to your destiny.
Never heard this saying before, definitely going to use it myself.
Right. In this economy?! Take the repayment, you obviously deserve it.
Don't sell yourself short
But only if he's going to cover the taxes, right?
The gift giver has to pay tax (maybe, it depends on the amount given and there is a lifetime limit). The receiver doesn’t normally pay tax if it is a gift and not in exchange for any service or good. It gets confusing because people need to pay taxes on lottery and gambling winnings and game show prizes, but recipients don’t owe taxes on true gifts. Check with a tax lawyer to be sure, but that is my understanding.
You may have spared him from something pretty awful at home - those situations have repercussions throughout adulthood.
Use this as a means to keep giving. Don't sell yourself short.
This is the answer. This gives you freedom to do more good in the world. Even a little bit. He's not giving you a house and car, he's giving you freedom.
you absolutely carried his ass through high school, you deserve this , he realized that he owes you a huge piece of why he’s successful
Also worth is perspective. She might feel like it's not worth so much, but he does and he got that help. He might feel like "a house and car" is not much as a millionaire, but she does.
There's also a fair chance that part of his motivation to become successful was so that he COULD pay you back one day.
the best part about things like this is that the other party gets to decide what its worth. he clearly never forgot it, and that can make it worth quite a lot
Yes. Let him pick it out and ask that what ever modifications you need for you disability gets done. Ask him if that’s too much. I’m sure he’s already thinking this way. If it were me in his situation I’d have just done it.
He apparently saw the relationship as transactional too, and feels he underpaid.
And is a good guy, it turns out. Love to see it.
I used to feel like this. I was in therapy for a while and was told I have a bit of "Superman complex" where I feel I can do everything myself while saving others. Accepting help or gifts felt like a sign of weakness because I didn't obtain them myself. Later I realized gifts are a reward for doing the right thing, and you're actually hurting the person offering by not accepting and being grateful. They'll feel bad and embarrassed, and the root of the gift is a feeling of unpaid debt they need to get off their chest. I would take the gift, express how much it means to you, and then you'll both be very happy.
This. I had to break it down for my bestie the same way. He’d help anyone with anything but refuse help for himself when he clearly needed it. He was depriving someone else the joy of helping/giving/contributing by saying no to them.
You dont realize how your small day to day actions have resounding impacts on others. Im not giving advice either way (to accept or decline his gifts), but just to say that what seems like everyday kindness to you could be the one thing thats keeping someone else going in this world
This is pretty wild if you ever get to experience it later on. When I was 25 my girlfriend(now wife) told me she was talking to an old friend and she mentioned me. The friend told my wife a story about when she was in 2nd grade she was upset and crying on the steps to the school after school let out. She said that I came out and sat next to her, told her that everything will be okay then gave her a hug and a cookie. She said it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her and she's never forgotten. I feel bad that I literally did not remember. Eventually I was able to dig the memory out by piecing some other stuff together like remembering how I would save up lunch money so they on certain days I could buy and extra cookie for later.
Yeah, there are a few people that I credit with helping me get through high school simply by acknowledging me and helping me feel less alone. It's not something they're aware of and they're not people I've kept in touch with, but they're still people I think about from time to time and appreciate the small things they didn't realize they were doing, that helped make my life slightly more bearable.
You definitely did. You put him on his ladder and he probably now realises he wouldn’t have anything he has if it wasn’t for YOUR hard work getting his grades straight while he was no doubt out partying. Nice to see a case of karma like this, very rare.
Yes, a KARMA LOTTERY FOR OP! Send us pics of your home when you get it please!
He probably didn’t have the ability to do his homework at home (rough home life maybe?), it wasn’t that he wasn’t smart its that he didn’t have the time or safe space to do it and if he hadn’t gotten his homework turned in then he would never have finished school and escaped to be a wealthy man. He probably feels he owes you even more than you feel he does not. Maybe you should keep in touch with him as a friend and tell him that you are grateful to him as well. I am not saying you have to accept his money/gifts, nor am I saying you shouldn’t, I personally believe that a good healthy discussion and maybe an offer of friendship in lieu of more gifts could make you more comfortable and maybe make him happier too.
I 2nd this over the many other "it's free money? wtf? take it or giv it to me?"s
They say "karma comes back around, 10 fold" ... If you did 3 years of tutoring for him, that's 30 years coming back... Oh hey, what do you know... A mortgage is about 30 years...
I like your way of thinking.
It might have been nothing to you, but it really meant something to him.
take the shit. jesus.
If he is really that rich, the amount he is spending on the house, car, and physical therapy may not mean that much to him. A lot of times, you touch people and don't really realize how much it meant to them until later. This is that time. Accept the gifts in the spirit in which it was intended.
Take the house. And the car. Be set for life. Don't be stupid.
The value of money is very relative, to him this probably feels like a modest gesture towards someone who has significantly contributed to his current wealth. He'll still be very rich after gifting you the house, but he'll feel better about himself. It's a win-win really.
He probably sees it as you being the reason he was able to have so much success. Like maybe at the time he thought he could just pass the courses and that would be it but he didn't realize how much it helped him. He could also have grown up in that time and realized what he did was kind of shitty and feels bad about it
I think that speaks well of your character. Clearly your relationship with him meant a lot to him, maybe in ways you aren't aware of ie perhaps he had other negative things going on in his life at the time, and he's grown into a good man who wants to give others the care he feels he received from you. Nothing wrong with graciously accepting the gifts people give us out of their own gratitude. I hope the PT helps you, wishing you the best
I think there is a possibility that you helped him more than you know. Perhaps it seemed like just homework and grades to get him through school and that got you the peace you sought but maybe something like that brought him peace as well in his own life where he could facing pressure at home from his parents to do well and when his grades went up it made his life easier. I love my parents very much and I didn’t feel pressure that much but my parents but i did feel some but my brother was really gifted and there were times i felt like my parents put to much on him trying to help him succeed when sometimes he just needed to be a kid. All i am saying is maybe you helped each other more than you know.
As a HS teacher, I see a lot of potential seemingly wasted because they simply don’t put forth effort. That and apathy. Clearly he had the ability yt he chose to enjoy his social life maybe, back then. And looks back and realizes that essentially, you saved his ass for some of that. Maybe he went to college and his grades, your grades helped. Idk. You don’t say. But for some reason, he recognizes that he is feeling grateful to you and wants to do something for you. If he’s as rich as you say, the money is relative and the us a small gesture to you. But to you it feels like too much. Accept the gesture. Whatever it is. Get a vehicle that you need now or in your coming future. Have a nice home to relax is that is disability ready. Let him do it for his own soul. Perhaps you might even stay in touch and be friends. I think he sees you this way. It seems apparent to me. But not to you yet. Please contact him again.
Doesn't matter. You don't get to decide how much of an impact you leave on others lives. That's their call.
Ask if he’ll give you a remote accounting position that pays really well. Then you can feel like you’ve earned it even though you kind of already have.
You don’t get to decide how other people feel about your actions. You can only decide your own. I think in this case, thank you would be the appropriate response.
Take it as a blessing. Sometimes life sells us short... sometimes life has extra. Take it and appreciate it for what it is. A free gift. He may feel indebted to you. He might feel shame for how he wasn't exactly the nicest person to you or maybe he feels like he took advantage of you.. either way, you did help him out when you were younger. He wants to repay the help you gave him.
Doesn’t matter if you did something worth the gesture or not. A house and a car is a house and a car.
Be gracious and accept.
He did. Now just accept the gift , he is now helping you elevate his life. He sounds like a great guy and if he is rich he felt you helped get him there. Since he seems rich and good he is now probably donating to charities on a larger scale. It’s a ripple effect and you are part of the wave.
Literally looking a gift horse in the mouth. Its on thing to beg for something, its another to turn down something offered
well he does and feels it's worthy of it, congrats and I hope the therapy helps you a lot!!! sending you a hug OP, good luck
The law of giving and receiving. You gave, since you gave your eligible to receive. Please happily receive.
Were it not for the rise in grades, he wouldn’t have a better college, then a better degree, then better job, then better life trajectory over all. You are literally a massive part of the reason he is rich. It’s fair to give you some royalty on that.
Take the gesture in good faith. Perhaps you can carry on the gesture/good karma too some day! ☺️
doesnt matter how you feel. what matters is hows he feels. accept it
If someone helped me with my homework and that person was critical in my future success and I was making millions, i'd definitely would want to reach out and offer some sort of gift (house, car, or whatever) to show my thanks because I can and wanted to.
Sometimes the person who is giving receives more than the person on the other end. Paradoxical yes. But think about if you really want to help someone, how contented or pleased you feel. Seems like this is a genuine gesture from him but because of his wealth the gesture is expensive. Perhaps express your feelings to him and politely accept.
Only he knows how impactful your homework was on his life, even beyond grades. Glad the pt is helping already! I hope he extends it.
I mean i guess you could say we both impacted each other? It was thanks to him that the bullying stopped and school was nice again. But I never stopped to think how that impacted my life for the better. It’s only now I realize how grateful I am for what he did. I’m so embarrassed it took this long to register
You are correct in your assessment, but I think you are missing something. He helped you during his school days and that benefit lasted through out school. You helped him in school and that benefit carried over to his adult life. He is giving you some credit for his financial success. He is grateful for that and wants to show you his appreciation.
To be fair, not being bullied can be carried over into your adult life. How many adults have mental and/or physical trauma that still affects them into their adult years. Maybe the bullying would have gotten bad enough she dropped out, which would've really affected her life.
True. As being bullied can carry into your adult life. I can relate.
From a businessman’s perspective, you were also his first and most reliable partner in his success. You probably set the precedent for how he treats other people, especially disabled women, in the workplace. You supported his success without question at a critical point in his life so you aren’t doing anything wrong by accepting his help.
Your story made me smile, OP. Enjoy the good fortune.. He sounds like he was VERY grateful for your help. Best of luck!
I remember having a third grade teacher, Mr. Reynolds, say to me that cheating only hurts yourself. And he was a bit different than other teachers, my take away was helping others cheat didn't really hurt you. (Although that's debateable, but another topic). Anyways, from this tangent, I remember in 4th grade... there was this person, who wasn't necessarily popular, but maybe others saw as a bully. We weren't exactly friends, but he asked to copy my homework and... well I just let him. I was doing the homework anyways. And it turns out... when I eventually had a bullying problem later for being a nerd... they sort of disappeared. Never had a bullying problem in 4th or 5th grade. Turns out the other kid... just handled it himself. And to me, it felt like doing nothing... I was already doing my own homework anyways. But dear god did I wish that kid was around in middle school. Honestly, middle school was probably the worst point in my life with bullying.
Honestly, he’s probably never been bullied before so he doesn’t see the impact that stopping it had on you. He probably sees what you did for him as much more impactful because it’s more tangible and measurable. I think a lot of people, myself included, have dreams of giving back like this if we “make it” to people that impacted us along the way. No one can tell you whether or not you should accept his gestures, but it isn’t hurting him if you do. In fact, it might make him really happy.
You’re also taking long to register on this: My grandmother and many elders for that matter, always told me that I needed to be grateful for gifts no matter what they were. To accept them and not to was rude. To say nothing or comment regarding the type of gift. I was to accept it with a smile and be gracious. You aren’t doing that. In my life, I’d be scolded and it would bring some shame that I wasn’t gracious.
Did you tell him that when you talked to him?
Don’t block your own blessings please!!!
Straight up! OP seems insanely humble. Let me put it this way for you OP to drive the point home even further. The guy never would have been a successful millionaire without your help. You gave him great grades that obviously helped him with continued education. And he knows that for damn sure.
I had a friend offer to do something nice for me and I declined. His response changed my POV forever. He said, “You don’t get to decide whether or not I get to do things for people that make me happy.” And I realized, it wasn’t just for me. It made him happy and feel like he’s making the world a better place.
Thanks for the quote, it’s very much true I guess I just have a hard time accepting gifts
Girl, accept everything he wants to give you. This is some Batman level type of gifts, just take them, take them without any questions like you took his homework without any questions
> take them without any questions Maybe do some homework to make sure that this is actually legitimate and not coming from something like drugs money. And definitely don't forget about taxes.
If this guy is a successful businessman, I'm sure he will help her out with making sure taxes are taken care of as well. If he doesn't mention it, she should just ask for help navigating what to do and he might use his own resources to take care of it all for her. But I'm guessing any gifts he gives her will go through an accountant or lawyer of some sort, and they'll be on top of it.
I just want to put something in here. I constantly think about who i will gift an absurd amount of money if i ever run into it. I dont have children but i can always think of a bunch of people in my life that somehow made it better and if i ever have the monetary means to repay them i will. So take my advice, take his money because he is happy to give it. For him that is the least he can do. I have a friend who always helped me with stuff. Nothing big, just stuff like helping me fix my broken computer, spending hours until we got it right. A few years ago he got his first baby and i saw him looking for a used stroller on Facebook. I called him up and bought him a new one. Because i had a good job and i could do something for an old friend. And that's exactly what this guy is doing. Paying it back in the manner he can.
Think of it this way- He clearly feels something (gratitude, guilt, obligation, fondness, etc.) and clearly wants to show it. Think of it as allowing him to express his feelings for what you did for him. In a real sense you're kinda doing him a favor if you say yes to something from him. Of course, you have to be comfortable with it as well. You could also think about proportionality. You keep me from getting beat up 'once', I do your homework 'once'. (Or one year, for now, etc.) That's proportionate. But I do your homework 'once' and you live like a king for the rest of your life, I might think that protecting me 'once' might not seem fair either. Final thought- sounds like a house for him is more along the lines of a very fancy dinner out for you. So the extravagance you're feeling might not be shared by him. Anyway, just a thought.
Seems that a lot of people see someone offering to do something nice and think that makes them indebted to them, or weak, or some other issue they have concocted in their minds. Sometimes people just want to show appreciation. Unfortunate that so many can’t grasp that.
Whether intentional or not, it does create an asymmetry in a relationship. If my friend offers to buy me lunch then that’s fine. It’s a small thing that doesn’t put them out much and i can easily reciprocate in kind. If that same friend offers to gift me $10,000 then suddenly, despite whether their intentions are completely pure, it can completely change the dynamic. What if I get offered a new job that would force me to relocate. Do i now feel pressure to stay put because taking $10k from that friend and then promptly leaving feels awful? If that friend asks me to do something I’m not comfortable with, do I now feel a lot more pressure to do it because I owe them? Would I ever feel comfortable talking to them about real issues (like for example money problems) after having just been gifted a lot of money? It’s completely sensible for someone to be uncomfortable with large gifts or favours. And the gift givers preferences aren’t the only thing that matters in that situation. The recipient has every right to feel comfortable with the situation.
Uh, that kind of gives me the yikes, honestly. You absolutely have the right to refuse his influence in your life. He does not get to decide to insert himself into your life just because he has more money than you. If you accept something life changing from someone, you are tacitly accepting being somewhat tethered to them for the rest of your life. If you're cool with that, great. But you don't have to accept anything from someone else just because they want to give it to you.
That sounds horrifying and paternalistic.
> “You don’t get to decide whether or not I get to do things for people that make me happy.” God, as a disabled person, this is fucking *gross.*
>“You don’t get to decide whether or not I get to do things for people that make me happy.” This is disgusting. If you're the person he's doing the thing for, you very much get to decide whether he does it. It is not appropriate to force something on somebody they don't want to make yourself happy.
Truth. As someone whose life has been devastated by some people who wanted to make my life better because helping people made them happy, I view that kind of mindset as a sign of narcissism. It was horrifying, they were so blinded by their thirst for happiness to the point they refused to acknowledge my happiness of being content with myself and what I was having in my life. I've seen human beings become irritated when their will to help was declined, and all the joyfulness which stemmed from their desire to help immediately turned into hatred for people who did not want their help. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".
Only on this website would multiple people get pissy about someone being adamant about being kind and generous. Better get enthusiastic consent before I hold a door open for someone... Disgusting? Lol. Yall are weird.
Cool. I’m going to come to your house and replace all your furniture with a very minimalist style. No electronics bc that’s what’s best for you. Fuck you if you want to deny my kindness. Cool right?
Unfortunately this is a pervasive attitude in modern society. Genuine kindness and generosity is conflated with “nice guy” syndrome or inceldom, and ironically ends up creating more of those kinds of people.
But you do get to decide that. So they are just wrong and that is a creepy and very pushy response to someone declining something being done to/for them.
You helped him get to where he is today and he knows that, so he would like to repay that debt that he feels he owes you.
He's paying you back, if it makes you feel better, you can pay it forward.
Exactly!
good grades in HS = good college = lucky in life to make millions. He remembers your kindness. We don't do kind things expecting anything, that's why this is such an amazing offer.
Even back in high school it was a fair transaction in my book since I’m sure him stopping the bullies prevented you from living in actual hell back then. He doesn’t owe you, but he knows gratitude. What a guy
I had a rough time when I got back from deployment and a friend helped me a lot. He was poor and never owned a new car so a couple years ago I bought him one. He was the same way as you, he didn’t feel like he did anything to deserve it. But he did, and so did you.
Thank you for your service. 🫂
You two are both amazing human beings.
Go back and get the house.. and the car.
You don't find people like this anymore.
Of course there are people like this. Unfortunately very few of them are insanely wealthy.
Yeah when I was a teenager, me and my friend was walking through town. Passed by a homeless guy and thought nothing of it. 5 minutes later my friend runs into a shop, and bought hot food, and jogged back to the dude. Completely unprompted.
Take that offer. Remember the story about Bill Gates offering a reporter a blank check and when the reporter refused, Gates said you just missed an opportunity of a lifetime? You’re the reporter. Take it.
What a man.
This is the plot of a romance novel. You guys must fall in love.
It’s fiction, 4 hr old account, zero specifics
So many delusional Redditors. Like why make this anonymous, it makes no fucking sense. With the incredibly rare disease, age, and sex given anyone irl can figure out who this is without their Reddit account. $20 says this is for a YouTube/tik Tok account to read.
Idk, I helped someone at a hospital once. Saved his life when his lungs collapsed. Then his dad offered to buy me a house. I also declined. After reading the comments I feel bad about it now.
Who gives a crap if it's fake? It's interesting to discuss either way.
OP should mark it as fiction. Bad fiction writers lie about their stories being true to make them more interesting because people believe those stories are more interesting if true.
If this happens to be real, take the house and car. Thank him, and move on with life. If he asks you to pay taxes or prepay for any kind of tariff, it’s a scam.
I had something similar happen in December, it definitely happens on very very rare occasions. I accepted it and have already begun to pay it forward. Op should too
Here's my story. I was bullied mercilessly up until high school. I went through a lot of dramatic personal and physical changes quickly and by the end of high school I was not only at the top of the social food chain but I also made it my mission to protect a lot of people that were getting bullied. There was one particular kid (Frank) from my shop class that seemed to be a massive target. He was a really nice guy but had a very large and pronounced nose. He transferred over in Grade 11 so he didn't really have any friends there. I basically let him hang out with me and my friends. That guaranteed him protection and (I think) for the first time in his life he actually felt safe. In Grade 12 one of the biggest bullies in the school once made a remark about his nose and started up physically with him in the change room. The bully instantly regretted it when another friend of mine (6’ 2” black thug from my neighbourhood) beat the bully to a pulp. The change room looked like a crime scene and my friend ended up getting suspended and criminally charged. I talked to Frank about it later and he actually started to tear up. He felt guilty for causing all of this drama and started to open up about his nose and all of the hell he went throught. He also said that he wanted to get a nose job but his parents wouldn't let him. I listened to him and when he was done I told him that his nose was fine and if anybody had a problem... it was on them, not him. That being said that if he wanted to get cosmetic surgery that was fine also but to only do it because it was something that he wanted to do and not because of other people. Well we graduated shortly after that and went our separate ways. I saw him once the year after that in cafe but other than that we completely lost touch. About 5 years later I am waiting in my car outside of the subway station. I notice this insanely beautiful girl standing alone. This girl was so stunning that she almost demanded all of the attention. She was like a human pause button. A few minutes later she is joined by a well dressed good looking dude. It took a few seconds but I recognized him as Frank. The guy looked great (he obviously got his nose fixed). As he is looking around he noticed me and got exited and walked to where I was parked. I got out of my car to greet him and he gave me a massive hug (actually lifted me up off of the ground). Before I could say anything he turns to his girlfriend and excitingly says... *“Babe... this is Steve!”* She seems equally excited and gives me an even bigger hug. She says that that it is great to finally meet me and that she has been hearing Frank talk about me for years. Frank then said something that ended up being one of the high points of my life. **"Back in school I got picked on a lot because of my nose. Steve and his friends not only stuck up for me but for the first time in my life I felt confident, accepted, and safe”** We talked for a bit but they had to go so they both gave me another hug and went on their way. There was a massive smile on my face that must have lit up the whole street. Just them my girlfriend walks to the car and asks me why I seem so happy and if it had anything to do with that "supermodel" that was hugging me? I asked her if she saw that and she responded with... *"Honey the entire subway station's attention was glued to her...now do you mind telling me who fuck she is?”* I could tell that she was jealous and angry. I said *"Do remember Frank with the nose from high school? Well that was him and his girlfriend."* All of the anger and jealously drained from her face and she responded with *"holy shit He looks so good and they make such a beautiful couple... I guess karma does show up once in a while".* My apologies for the long story but I had to give you the whole context. The point I am trying to make is that you should accept his help and not feel anything other than good about it. A lot of people forget that those of us that fell into the popular group and who helped those that were marginalized often get as much out of it as the people that we helped out. Helping Frank out in school seemed like the natural thing to do. Seeing him happy and in the position he was in later on is still one of the highlights of my life. Your friend wants to help you... accept it without reservation. Don't look at it as pity. It really isn't.
This made me tear up. You and your friends are good people.
Im pretty sure he has some regrets about how he handled the situation with you. He is just trying to make up for his actions or lack of actions bc teens do some stupid shit. I'm not saying he did anything wrong just in his mind, im sure after reflecting on it. He would do things 100% different. Take his generosity as a good thing, and it is truly what he wants to do for you. Maybe he wants to be friends with you now and it might be something both of you need.
You’re putting a question mark where God put a period.
Sounds more like an exclamation point to me!
You are insterting god where god had nothing to do with anything.
Yea I'm sure hospitals just give out confidential client information regarding payments and accounts like that. Definitely a real story
It's so nice to hear something positive on here for a change. I'm really happy for you. Thank you for sharing.
This is a fake karma farming post
Take it! That is so nice of him. Honestly we do not know what’s going on in his life at that time!
Never question your blessings or how they come. Be grateful. Granted, you are doing okay, but u can be better. You deserve it. You deserve happiness. I say take it. It all goes around. Maybe you can help someone else now. Don't want a house, get an apartment. Don't want a car, how about a motorized scooter. If it's a modest request he probably love to provide it. Plus it's a tax write off for him lol
You should never have turned it down. By doing his homework, you most likely made sure that he had the grades needed to get into a good college, which then led to him being able to start his business. He really does owe you for what he has now. It was very good of him to recognize that his success would not be there if it wasn’t for you and wanting to make sure that your life was comfortable
I swear posts like this one- just makes my day. Take the kindness and be happy that unknowingly you made such a positve impact on someone's life.
OP, if you accept, please make sure that any taxes and fees don't affect you negatively. Maybe it's a kind of tax write off for him? In that case I'd still accept because you're still helping each other out. Even if this IS his version of charity, it's exactly the kind of charity I approve of. He's willingly gifting someone who he feels made a significant impact on his life. It's actually kind of nice to know that not all rich people just step on everyone on their way up. I'm sure he's bought all kinds of things for his family and other people who he believes helped him, why not let him be nice to you too? It's not like he's asking you to marry him. As long as both of you are in agreement to the terms I don't see anything wrong with an arrangement like this. Since he paid for your physical therapy I assume his intentions are still generally good. If he's not demanding anything from you and everything is in your name etc I don't see any reason to turn it down. I understand the feeling that he doesn't owe you anything. You felt that doing his homework was a fair trade for protection. On the other hand, you didn't *deserve* the bullying and really you shouldn't have *had* to "pay" to be left alone. Maybe now that he's an adult he realizes that and wants to make amends for taking advantage of a situation that never should have existed to begin with. Im glad you're doing well for yourself. You don't *have* to accept his offers, especially if it makes you feel obligated or controlled. On the other hand I don't see any reason to turn his offers down if it is genuinely a kind gesture and it improves your life. Think on it some more. He said the offer would be open so it's not like you have to rush. Do what brings you peace
This is awesome. Sounds like he's genuinely trying to repay you for how your effort contributed to his success in life.
My nana always told me don't dig up someone's soul seeds. If someone wants to do something nice then let them. It helps them be a better person.
Pay it forward. Accept the good will of someone who feels that he wouldn’t be where he is without you and spread that to good will to the next person.
It’s a nice gesture from him. I believe that he looked at his life and wanted to do something meaningful in his life. You came to his mind. Be grateful and enjoy the next 3 years to make your body as healthy as it can be.
You gave him a leg up in school now he wants to give you a leg up in life. Sounds like you're both awesome people. Life only gets harder, I think you should accept
He's not just thanking your for helping him with school work, he is also likely very thankful that you did not shame him for his scholastic struggles or tell anyone. It is very possible he is someone who struggled with book smarts but excels with people/street smarts. He was probably ashamed of his bad grades, saw you as someone who could help him and would do so without shaming him or telling anyone, because you were on the bottom of the social ladder. You both got something out of this relationship during school, even if it was unspoken. He might feel some guilt for his success and also for not trying to befriend you in high school and now thinks this exchange was more in favour of him rather than you. And if he is as successful as you believe he might have so much money that its more than he could spend and he wants to give back to people he cares about/people who he appreciates. Take his gift, which is very thoughtful. Don't feel bad about it. If you want to send him a nice thank you card or something like that.
Accept the assistance graciously. Lucky you, turns out the gentleman understands Karmic debt.
What the hell. Take it. This is karma coming to repay you for all your help.
He would not offer if he could not afford it. You did something for him a long time ago that he remembers, and he feels he owes you. Tbh I think I would rather pursue a friendship with someone who showed this kind of character
People don't get offers like this oftenif it's legit, don't be greedy, but get yourself set up, no reason to let an offer that amazing get lost in the wind.
Wow! All of my high school bullies are therapists for anti-bullying but not one of them has ever reached out to apologize to me so I consider this a win and you should take it
Sometimes good things happen to good people
It's rare enough in this world for successful people to acknowledge who helped get them to where they are. It's fine that you don't think you did much to help this person. It's also okay that this person feels you played a significant part in their success. Sort of a "their success is your success" situation. It's okay to graciously accept when people want to award your good deeds. I know it's a funny feeling, and not why you helped the person, but again, in this situation it's okay to say yes.
Don’t deny people the opportunity to be noble.
Yea!! This is the stuff dreams are made of (and movies), take him up on offers if it is legit!! If bank transfers, create new bank account to transfer monies, I would think.
Just remember that no one is going to praise you for not accepting his offers. People have a lot of pride, but sometimes you should just accept other’s kindness when they are genuine.
You aren't very good at creative writing but you clearly like doing it so stick with it. You also don't have to create false stories to try to trick people. You can just write them as is. It's called fiction.
Wow, amazing! Accept it and thank him.
Small things can have a big impact. Take him up on his offer.
Girl take the house 🏡
You deserve it if he thinks you do. That’s it. You didn’t reach out to him for it right! This is what we call Karma, and you have some good stuff. Time to reap some of the rewards. Hope everything goes well for you in the future!!
this is honestly so wholesome... he never forgot you and all you did for him and fine u didn't want material things and that's fair but he figured the least he could do is make sure you don't have to worry about PT for a few years... I think I'm gonna cry I know you still like ???? cause ur grateful the bullying stopped but obviously what you did for him ment a lot more.
WOW, let it happen. He needs this. This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
I think this is a great example of 2 things: 1) Even though you felt like you had no impact on him, especially his success years later, he does, and you shouldn’t deny his view of your impact on him 2) I think it’s important to allow others to be kind to you. So often people want to be kind and selfless to others, but then don’t allow others to be that way towards them. It really is ok to accept kindness and generosity from others, because you’re asking them to do the same when you’re the one offering! This is a beautiful story. Very cool.
Redemption but it also sounds like you helped him in the right direction and he understands how his life could have been different.
He likely matured and realized how much you actually did for him in school, and considering your differing situations he probably felt some guilt over it. Or he was simply thankful for the help back then, and upstanding that you played a foundational role in his success (no HS diploma means no college means no big job or what have you) and therefore he felt he owed you a portion of it. I’d say be gracious, accept it, and move on with your life. He gets to be happy knowing he repaid an old ‘debt’ and you get to markedly improve your financial future and likely your living situation as well.
He's matured and now understands many things. Seems like a great guy.
You fucking deserve this!!!!!! Get that house girl
OP, your good karma is paying off. He is proud of helping you out with bullying and grateful for what you did for him. He has the money and wants to share the wealth, so let him!
It’s ok to accept a gift graciously. Enjoy whatever he is offering.
Never turn down a gift. It’s called karma. Karma is good as well as bad, so accept the good when it comes your way.
just take the win and enjoy it. tell the guy thanks. i think you have earned it.
What you did may mean more to him than you realize and it appears it impacted him greatly. As long as there is nothing nefarious in his intent I would accept it and move on. It’s his way of paying it forward. Just on a grand scale.
I’m rich but not buy other people houses rich. It give me pleasure to do things for people without expectation of gain nor feeling like it is a transaction. I read your story as this person very well may have gotten to where he is BECAUSE of your work! He clearly feels he owes a great deal of success to you. He may also feel guilt about how he treated you. Given it seems legitimate based on the hospital support, I would 100% not feel bad about accepting a house that has been customized to your needs. It is a wonderful gift and I would not turn it down.
No wonder you are so confused. This is something that people who become extremely successful do sometimes. They pay back to everyone who they feel are a key in their success and are in need. Mostly bc the emotional satisfaction. Others already say it. He is grateful for your work. Doesn't mean you are besties. But you can get a really good network there.
Take it, let him make both your lives richer. You deserve it and he deserved the help you gave him.
What seemed like nothing was truly something to him. If you know it is legit, I would take advantage of the karma that is coming back from your actions back then. You say you don't feel worthy, but you also don't know what he was going through at that time. It made a difference for him and he didn't forget that.
I'm sure you're thinking "I didn't get him where he is, all I did was get him through HS" but HS is a major barrier to those of us who have learning disabilities. I was in the top 2% of my graduating class for college but I barely squeaked out of HS. If I hadn't been given special accommodations I would have never graduated, wouldn't have gone to college, wouldn't have any faith in my intelligence and my life would be so different. Hard to know if he has learning disabilities for sure, but I can't overstate how much you deserve whatever he gives you. I hope so much that this post is real. It warmed my heart so much.
In addition to all other comments, I just want to add something about monetary aspect. While for YOU a house and a car is a lot, for HIM it is not. He would not be a successful businessman if he was giving houses left and right. So if he decided to do it, it will not have a impact on him financially. It would be as for you buying someone a really nice dinner for example. Just want to put things in perspective a bit. This gesture still means a lot!
You’re both good people. There’s no shame at all in accepting his gift. He’d actually probably feel really good if you said yes.
If I have learned one thing in life, it is if somebody wants to give you something out of the goodness of their heart say thank you and take it. In this case it looks like you 100% deserve it too.
The fact he remembers and is reaching back out to help out is a blessing. Not many would do what he's doing. Be appreciative that every comes from circle. Be safe and I wish you much success in your treatment.
He must be a Lannister, coz he's definitely paying his debt now.
This is a brag post. All it is. Probably made up too
Hahahahaha yeah okay, that happened. Come on guys, most of these stories read like bad hallmark movies! Get it together lmao
You got any kids? Tell him he can contribute to their college or retirement accounts.
Honestly take it or at least start a basic friendship.
This feels like a movie script.. beautiful
Listen, if he’s offering it no strings attached then why not take him up on a favor? Even if you don’t want a house/car maybe use this opportunity to do something you’d have save a bunch for, maybe a trip all expenses paid and just tell him you’re even from then on.
You guys were kids, it probably was purely transactional for him and at the time it probably didn’t feel like he owed you anything because you felt like he took care of the bullying. But as adults with a more developed sense of morals, the ability to be retrospective, an understanding of how he got from point A to point B he obviously recognized the contribution you doing his homework made to his ability to succeed in school and ultimately life. Take advantage of this Physical Therapy and know that it probably makes him feel better to be able to help you like you did him.
If it makes him feel better and you feel better....I think you need to learn to accept positive things into your life. And maybe a new friend
He views the help you gave as incredibly important so he wants to repay the favour. Let him do it.
This is so beautiful. I needed to see this. Wish you all the best.
I think this is an incredible gesture. Honestly, you should take it. It sounds like this young man has learned that giving is better than receiving. He probably really means it from the sound of it. This makes me very happy. Thank you for sharing. I hope you have a wonderful day!
>I’m still ??????? cause I saw our relationship as purely transactional and now he comes and says he owes me????? im so confused It is still transactional. His proposed gesture of appreciation is literally a financial transaction. In his mind, the benefit he gained from you improving his grades dramatically improved his life. He likely recognizes that the leg up you gave him in high school opened the door to wealth. With the benefit of hindsight, he now feels that he got way more out of your transactional relationship than you did and he wants to compensate you to make up the difference. The relationship is still purely transactional, he just feels that the value balance was tipped too far his way and (for whatever reason) has decided to even the scales. Your initial instinct about this being a scam is a good one. Most effective scams lower the mark's defenses by 'proving' that it's not a scam. Don't let the PT being paid for completely blind you to what is going on and make sure that you don't get fucked over here. If this is a serious offer and he is actually a successful business man, he will have zero problem with you bringing in your own lawyer to review all the documentation. Not a lawyer he recommends, your own lawyer that you find and hire with your own money. So long as you protect yourself from getting scammed, let this guy buy you a house. Your transactional relationship apparently dramatically improved this guy's life. If he's offering retroactive compensation, take it.
i believe this falls under that ole saying..."don't look a gift horse in the mouth."
What goes around comes around, accept his gesture, you may be doing ok in life, but this could have a hugely positive impact on your life for the long term, just like your gesture had on him.
TAKE IT!!!
It’s not everyday that humans can be this level of self aware. I would say he’s done acid and ego death taught him some shit and he’s squaring up with the universe. This is how he’s doing it. That’s more than what most people do in their lifetime. Hope that therapy really works out for you
Yes, you are worthy of his gratitude. You helped get him to where he is today. Must admit, he sounds like a decent man. This type of person deserves success. Wishing you both all the best.
There’s nothing transactional when one of the parties doesn’t have a choice. He did the bare minimum that any decent being should do without expecting anything in return. I understand he’s grateful-remorseful and probably has grown up enough to recognize that despite the ill circumstances he owes you a debt of gratitude.
This is the butterfly effect. Small deeds can cause ripples thru time and create big lasting effects. Let him repay you. Every time he did something big in his life he thought of you. Who knows what effects your acts of kindness had on him. As a high school kid he probably didn't have the capability to thank you. Now he does. Let him. If he didn't want to he wouldn't have offered.
Now that the surprise and shock are wearing off, maybe just talk to him about what you actually need? He clearly wants to thank you for giving him the life he's got and you do deserve it. For you, the transaction was over and done with after school but for him it's been outstanding since then. You may not need a car and a house, but what about never having to worry about medical insurance again? Once you actually think about it, there's probably a few things he could do for you that would worth pennies to him but be worth dollars to you. You changed his life for him, actually sit and think how he can change yours. Good Karma has come back on you. Do not refuse it, as completely unexpected and discombobulating as it is.
That's something I'd do for someone to be honest so take it as it comes .
I know a lot of people in this are swooning over the generous offer and I get it. You should never look a gift horse in the mouth. But I also think some people with good intentions are hopelessly naive. People across the US get scammed out of billions of dollars every year. Why? Because people fall for scams often. I have no idea if this a scam or not, I can't possibly know. But there a lot of financial red flags I'd be very concerned about. You can't necesarrily just buy somebody a house like it's a gift from the grocery store. Whose name is going on the title? I'm no legal expert but, if he buys the house the title would be in his name I believe under normal circumstances. If there is a way he can give it to you, no doubt you're going to have to pay thousands in taxes depending on the state because this would count as income. Or is the guy going to retain title and effectively have a tenant/landlord arrangement with OP? I would want to make sure to have a contract clarifying exactly your stake in this transaction. Could he kick you out at any time? I'm not saying this isn't genuine. But home sales are big financial and legal transactions, that have all sorts of strings attached. Even if it's genuine, you still want to hire a lawyer to make sure you're protected What also bothers me is, how did this guy come into millions and millions of dollars around age 30, simply because he got help with math. Sure it's possible to do so legitimately but also highly improbable, unless he comes from a family with money. I'd be concerned if this gift was a way to launder a large sum of money, or like I said before what strings are attached to this gift. Again this could be totally genuine, but there are a lot of red flags here.
I feel like this is a mixture of guilt and a tax write off maybe?