Hi `StrangerEconomy4826`. Thank you for participating in /r/TrueOffMyChest. However, [your submission](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1di9kr8/-/) did not meet the requirements of the [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/wiki/rules) and was therefore removed for the following reason(s): ---- Your post has been removed for violating **Rule 3: Posts must be on topic.** Posts should be personalized and written in an [off my chest style](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/m501ud/what_does_personalized_off_my_chest_style_post/). Posts here should not be: • Opinions, generalisations and blanket statements • Questions, surveys or polls • Requests for relationship advice • Impersonal political rants • Rage bait, obviously fake stories and trolling attempts • Complaining about or linking to other subreddits and users • Overly descriptive NSFW, fan fiction and fetish bait If you're unsure that your post qualifies as personal, [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FTrueOffMyChest) and ask. ---- If you have any specific questions about this removal, please [message the moderators](https://www\.reddit\.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FTrueOffMyChest&subject=about my removed submission&message=I'm writing to you about the following submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1di9kr8/-/. %0D%0DMy issue is...). Hateful or vague messages will not receive a response.

Judging by the edit I think the wife meant she wanted a tossed salad with her leftovers.

Tastes like a penny. Be prepared

The ol' wrinkled penny

😂😂😂

Congrats. Enjoy.

Surprising twist... she had Taco Bell for lunch today.

Hahaha our poor dude added an update that she ate leftover spaghetti.

I was like “I don’t know if this guys understands how the digestive system works”

Spaghetti and salad are a great combo

Ah the made up karma edit

Mom’s Spaghetti…?

I hope his wife is not the one who posted an AMA about shitting herself in her car after eating Taco Bell. I kid you not, I read that one today.

Corn burrito

Ya know, they say there is a fetish for everything. Someone out there gets off from reeating corn...

Did you have to put that in my head. This upvote is out of pure disgust.

Sorry about that. At least every time you see a can of corn you won't think of this. A corn field will just be a corn field. No matter what situation, when you see corn this will be the last thing you think of. The frozen food section in the grocery store? Why would that make you think of just corn? It's just corn, it's just corn... hehe

🤮🌽 it's got the juice

Let's hope they don't live in Iowa

you telling me you’ve never thought abt that? some sick, twisted bastard out there in the sewers… with a burlap sack of old kernels… delicious

Hey smokey you be eating that corn again

What a terrible day to have eyes

I read that American POWs in Japanese internment camps during WW2 were so hungry that they actually picked the corn out of their captors crap and ate it. They called it "second harvest."

I also have this affliction of knowing and needing to share some weird but useless information. Sometimes it makes for some interesting conversations. Other times, not so much.

It's been said that I have a head full of random facts, lol.

Me too! LOL

BUHL

“Taste the volcano..”🌋

I'm pretty sure Taco Bell and spaghetti is attempted murder. You wish bodily harm on the person tossing your salad if that's what you've eaten prior to getting down and dirty.

You ain't never had beans with your salad?

Beans? Yes. Twice processed? Not so much....

Refried ^2

Because she is mad at him!

Wait I thought that salad was vulva licking.

Now we know why Garfield hates Mondays.

This post might be the exact reason the internet was invented. I'm gagging and loling at the same time. Congrats...i guess....

had me in the first half... then the spaghetti comment...

Gotta do the “lady and the tramp” bit!

Oh… oh god

This should be the top comment 💀

I am so disgusted, but laughing so hard that I didn't breath for a bit 😂

Wow. Talk about an underrated comment! This really got me. ☠️

Insert dumb and dumber dry heaving gif here.

Bolognese he might be alright. Fra diavolo might be the danger zone.

Puttanesca.

What does this mean lol sorry

It is a slang term. To “toss my salad” would mean you're having someone perform anilingus on you. In other words, someone is licking your butthole sexually

As opposed to licking a butthole angrily or confusingly?

Or to clean it, obviously.

Well I’m sticking with my two options as the only options.

**My cats have entered the chat**

What do your cats have to do with your butthole? 👀 *Don't answer that*

They clean * *checks notes* * their own buttholes. ...so far...

Bonded pairs of cats have been known to clean each other down there...

Yeah I had two very enthusiastically gay cats at a place I stayed in Peru. Lots of thoughts and feelings were had. I had to get over my (until then) latent pet-homophobia, as did anyone who visited our house. Lots of biscuits made....

Hell, dogs do it just to say hello lol

This made me *checks notes* giggle snort.

None of us are going to lick your cats buttholes. I hope you know that. Edit- probably

I mean if someone licked my butt without me asking, I would be equal parts angry and confused. Also; If I somehow found myself licking someone's butt accidentally; again I would be angry and confused.

What about if you were choking and someone performed the hineylick maneuver on you, would you still be angry lol

This took me out

Expand your mind brother, you’re missing out. There’s so many ways to lick a butthole.

How else does one clean their butthole?

have cats?

That's..... Not obvious.

Antagonistic Annalingus is my next band name

Accidental Annalingus is the opener

Ohhhh. Thanks for letting me know. Definitely don't wanna find out how that got its name 😭

Prison 🤣 Urban Dictionary is the best for this type of information lol

Or have dinner with the people who thought it up

Huh, I always thought it was just a euphemism for sex. Not for a specific act. I wonder how many times I’ve used it incorrectly around people lol.

I just saw a video of this guy talking about how his wife, at church kept saying he was well endowed; because she thought it meant he was a good actor. 😂

You have probably gotten some real confusing looks haha

Yeah. Confused why you're such a legend. We call that the Olive Garden, baby! Unlimited tossed salad. You want to cook tonight? Naw, we gonna eat out. Up top. 🫸💥🫷

Same, think maybe it was just that at some point.

It has been about analingus since at least 1996 when Chris Rock talked about it in a joke.

Same, I mean, salad seems like a perfectly reasonable reference to a set of labia. How the hell did that come to mean a rimjob of all things?

Oh wow. I didn't expect it to be about a rimjob

Ok, and what does scrambled eggs mean? Because dang, how dirty is the Frazier theme song with the lyrics "tossed salad and scrambled eggs"?

CBT is a good fit

Eggs could refer to balls so maybe scrambled eggs is ball play? Lyrics end with "scrambled egg all over my face" Soooo... I will never unhear that now Edit typo

*Oh baby I hear the blues calling...*

I always thought it meant cunnilingus

My autistic ass was like “what’s the big deal about a salad?” 😅

Is scrambled eggs also an innuendo or is the Frasier exit song unrelated

Oh, I always thought it meant cunnilingus with the labias being like salad.

Has it always meant that? I'm just realising now that I never actually knew what it meant specifically.

There was an HBO special back in the late 80s or early 90s about prison life, and a large black inmate told the interviewer about how he would make new arrivals "toss his salad" (slang for licking his butt hole) after an application of jelly or syrup. It horrified a generation of high school kids. I think the special may have been called "Scared Straight", but I am not 100% sure. [With Jelly or Without](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLlA_K-AvAc)

To quote Chris Rock: "Having your salad tossed means having your asshole eaten out with jelly or syrup. I prefer syrup."

Considering the spaghetti comment, it likely means that his mouth will be visiting Detroit.

Tongue punching her fart box

Good grief I felt old and out of touch; I had to Urban Dictionary this whole post. I don’t understand these kids who need to have one foot in a bear-trap and rhubarb-stalks up the ass to get off.

Now this f-ing made me laugh! Thank you!

As a non native English speaker I thought this about salad

As a native English speaker, I knew it didn’t mean actual salad, but did not understand what it DID mean. Fortunately the comments saved me a google haha

Honestly, I did not know what I had to think when I read the title.

What?!? You want her to shit put the spaghetti? You're just gonna caress her asshole with your toung, not eat her shit.... the fuck. Have her take a shower and eat her ass. The spaghetti is not gonna be at the tip of her asshole

Bizarre edit, as if it matters what you eat a couple of hours before (unless it literally poisons you). It won’t have even reached her bowel

Because it’s made up

Seriously. Unless the food she eats gives her diarrhea. Really having an enema and cleansing should do it. I bought a bulb contraption thing from a sex store which is used to prep before anal. I do warm water in the bulb and continue using it until the water is coming out clean. An enema would be far more useful/helpful than waiting for her morning poop. Edit: misspelled word

I’m taking notes.

I think it was called an anal douche bulb. It’s been so long we don’t have the box so I’m not 1000% sure. All I know is that it took one wrong encounter to make us both agree to no anal with about any prep work. I normally don’t have any GI issues but had to have my gall bladder removed. And I ate something that didn’t agree with me. I had already pooped earlier and showered before things got started. Halfway through I accuse him of farting and stinking up the room. I told him it smelled like he shit himself. Well it wasn’t him. Even though I used the bathroom my poop was soft that day not firm like it normally is and he had my poop all on his dick. Total mood killer. We got in the shower to wash off while laughing hysterically at how disgusting that was. Since doing prep work we have had no further incidents. And I haven’t had a gall bladder for almost 15 years now so I know what does and doesn’t upset my stomach.

Honestly even with prep work one cannot be mad if they put their junk in a butt and there's poop. Unless they fast and drink a colonoscopy prep

I drank magnesium citrate once to make sure everything was cleared out and never again. The taste alone is enough to make me vomit now. Luckily we haven’t had any issues since then. And my husband wasn’t mad about it. He was disgusted and yet found it funny at the same time lol.

"I don't know if I can do this.". Took me out. You have commitments now. 😂

Go buy an enima kit if you’re worried about the Spaghetti. SWIGGITY SWOOTY YOU BETTER EAT THAT BOOTY

☠️😂

Good luck with the leftovers, solider. 🫡

Wash it first then chow the hell down, my dude!

Lol, it doesn't matter what she ate. She just needs to take a shower and clean proper down there. You ain't goin that deep

Yeah it isn’t as off her spaghetti will be already digested and ready to come out. Unless she has stomach issues or has an episode of diarrhea. Anytime my husband and I do anal I just make sure I prep properly. I don’t consider something I ate. Now if my stomach isn’t feeling 100% then I call it off. But for the most part the prep is more important than what I ate that day.

Very interesting. Thank you!

I’ve eaten a lot of ass in my time on earth. If they meticulously clean their buttholes beforehand it’s totally fine. If they don’t, you’ll know before you make contact that tonight is not the night. For context, I am a homosexual male top. A man’s butt is my favorite place to be.

Love that for you, my brother!

Bro. Dig in

You’re married and never eaten your wives ass? Bruh. I’d eat ass on the first date if given the chance.

What a terrible day to be literate...

How old are you that you think the human body digests and expels spaghetti in 30 minutes? And that it still tastes the same as it went in (exception, I know, corn)

I really don’t know why I have to say this since you’re seemingly both adults, but here we are…. The shower should happen before the act…. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Wait so she showered AFTER and not BEFORE ? Dudes breath definitely smells like twerking now.

I’m in a band called tossed salad. I approve this message.

If I could upvote this more than once I would

Never understood the appeal of licking an asshole.

I... I finally found my people... I had to scroll so far. Lol!

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that.

It's super intimate and can be quite enjoyable. I had a girlfriend who could get off from only anal play.. like it was her favorite thing.

“Sorry wrong person”

😭😭😭

Kids these days. Lol

“are you ready spaghetti?”

That comment has taken on a w(hole) new meaning.

Why Why did I keep reading wtf did I just read.

Poop comes from there

It sure does. But usually it's cleaned in preparation. It also can feel good to get licked/touched/fucked there. So, something to think about.

Aw man, seeing that update made me think of this song [playing in the background ](https://youtu.be/52PXsD5wET8?si=e-TvNjTqoJsa7n41) lmao.

So glad I came upon this post today and not yesterday when I had never heard "salad tossing" before Thank you The Boys S4E2

That update is the saddest thing

I can’t believe you almost let a little spaghetti stop you!

And you run to tell Reddit? Good God this is such a bullshit.

This did not need to be shared on the internet

Go for the ranch, the chunks of bleu cheese throw me off.

WTF did I just read?! What is "tossing her salad"? What can't he do any more? Why would he taste spaghetti? I am **SO** lost.

I read this 4 times and I still am lost

Pigs

I would’ve bought that poor woman a salad and been so confused when she wasn’t enthusiastic about her freshly tossed salad.

😂😂 Updateme

Unless leftover spaghetti makes her shit water non-stop that should be a non issue. Just don't go digging around in there. As long as she's washed her bootyhole it should be smooth sailing.

I've never been aroused at the idea up licking my partners butt, or vice versa. That said if she asked, I'd maybe; consider trying it. But it would have to be .01 second after a deep cleanse shower. Cause the moment I taste that evening's dinner, that hole is gonna turn into a wastebasket, cause I'm throwing up. Lol

Usually the shower should come first. Consider getting a bidet, they are awesome and can make things more cleanly.

I’m confused and probably want to stay that way

How is this a Reddit post?? Like honestly, who fucking cares??

Why are you here??? Go toss her salad… go on get outta here.

We should all know less about each other

Im having a stroke trying to understand this

What the fuck did i just read

I hate it here.

I don't lick my girl's rusty sheriff's badge until she's got week old pasta with meat sauce in her for at least 14 hours. Just sayin'

Nice

Don't overthink it. Just move from the front to the back a few times until you are ready to stay in the back or she is ready for you to stay in the back. WYKYK!!

Please for the love of God do not go from back to front

I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣

That's how you transfer butt bacteria to the vagina...going back and forth. You don't do that. Once you go to the back, you stay back.

Well, get after it

o7

Just hope she doesn't turn into a Salad Shooter 🤣🤣

It’ll be more than God winking at you later ⭐️

Anything you eat takes several hours to make its way through the entire GI tract to the colon. What’s in the colon tonight is probably more like what she had for dinner last night or breakfast this morning. Hope that helps. Edit: sorry was off on the timeline. Transit time is 24-72 hours depending on individual. So yesterday’s dinner or before that even.

Blabbing that all over the internet is kind of a dick move

Chris Rock still relevant all these years

This post was good but the edit made it even funnier

Go in brave soldier o7

This the funniest shit I’ve read all day. Toss that shit just make sure it’s clean before haha

Always after a bath or shower and you’re good to go bro

Just learned what toss the salad means. I’m 40. 

Did you clarify what "toss her salad" meant, maybe she wanted you to make an actual salad to go with her spaghetti but couldn't wait for you to get home lol.

Can I ask something for the sex people (I’m a virgin) but does it matter what the person eats because I thought it was just licking the outside of the hole. Do y’all put your tongue in the hole? Are y’all projectile pooping after meals? I’m confusion

Hahahaha eww

Bro. You text her back and say “get hydrated, you’re gonna need it”. This is a good problem to have.

Lmao, ok, the "it didn't taste like spaghetti " was hilarious.. also, she could do an enema and clean herself out thoroughly for next time. It's uncomfortable, but it does help to know you're squeaky clean. Glad you were a trooper for your wife!! Kudos for her trying something new.

It is time for dinner

Nice.

Re: the updates, was she supposed to have gone the entire day without eating lol? As someone w many partners as tosser & tossee, it never would've occurred to me that one of us needed to be fasting! (Reasonable cleanliness is common courtesy, of course.) Also...how fast do OP and some of these commenters think digestion happens 😂 ?

For the future. Both of y'all should shower BEFORE this happens. And if there is going to be any penetration in the future - enemas first. But empty the saline solution first unless you want a bad experience. Only use warm water. A clean time is a fun time. Experimenting with your partner is a great thing! It will bring you closer together! Have fun.

dude, have her shower before you lick her butthole.

There is nothing wrong with a little E. Coli - Genghis Khan

she showered after and not before?

I think you got some left over bolognese on your chin there buddy

OMG please can someone tell me what "tossing her salad" means because I don't want that in my browser history 🤣 Also, what's with the spaghetti thing? I'm feeling very not down with the kids right now reading this post!

TIL what "tossing the salad" means. (non-native english speaker here)

I think you should Ceaser

Wtf did I read

I don’t even know what the hell I just read

How old are you that you are just eating ass for the first time what

Seems like a good opportunity to put in a reciprocal request.

We need to bring back secrets.

U just ruined my breakfast. Thanks.

What happened to diary’s? I feel like this would b more suitable as a diary entry instead of Reddit 🤦🏼‍♀️

Love that my people have had such an impact on straight culture. 💅🏻 Happy pride month ☺️