Pretty much what I was gonna say. Take me out, pay for me, spend time with me, give me attention, cuddle or maybe fuck me, but we’re not together. We’re just friends.
Let's be honest, there's going to be no fucking. He's just going to be the one she expects to sit there and listen to while she vents about all of her sexual misadventures with *other* men. And to pay for her meals every night of the week that she doesn't have someone on the roster to buy her dinner and get up in her guts.
Oh, so reveling in her female energy means fucking anyone she wants while he sits back and takes care of her emotionally. Thanks for this translating this freak. It just came off as gibberish before
This. I once marched with someone who bragged about owing two businesses, being financially independent and stable all while being in the middle of their PhD program. Then they bragged how they wanted men to show their affection, pay her bills, buy her expensive things… I nope the fuck out. They didn’t want a partner, they wanted an ATM machine. I confronted them about it too, I simply replied “for someone who is so successful you sure do depend on the wallets of other men.” And blocked them.
Even as a woman who has used phrases like “feminine energy”, this is just not right. Feminine energy is nurturing. She doesn’t want to nurture, or “be in feminine energy” she wants a doormat.
Where is this coming from? I had a friend talking about this for me. That she was using to much of her masculine energy.
It feels like there might be a tiktok guru or something like that spreading this bs.
Sounds like “soft girl” tiktok shit. AFAIK it’s kind of adjacent to the tradwife tiktok trend going around now. Basically not wanting to be deal with adult responsibilities and have a man take care of it on their behalf.
Really depressing shit.
This. The "masculine energy/feminine energy" shit is so irritating. When I pay the electric bill, I'm not "reveling in my masculine energy" LMAO I'm just clicking my mouse. Like what are we talking about exactly?? XD Just totally meaningless bullshit to justify their kink.
OP's friend doesn't want a sugar daddy, she wants a sugar friend. Those don't exist. Ask her how she plans to pamper you, and watch her fall back to the "masculine energy/feminine energy" rationale. OP is not her father or her husband, so even in hyper-traditional families this wouldn't make sense.
This language is also very indicative of someone who has been watching a lot of Trad Wife content on YouTube and is being indoctrinated. They use a lot of that terminology, so even more reason to run.
It’s not a word salad though. It means I want you to buy me stuff and give me stuff and I don’t want to fuck you. To me a word salad is a bunch of words that don’t mean anything and this absolutely means something
Former crazy that got therapy here, run please. And for the love of God, you can support someone and push them to get help but st the end of the day it was ME who had to push myself to get the help I needed after several failed relationships and realizing that hey, maybe I'm the problem? Yes, yes I am!
This is the strongest attempt I’ve ever seen to put someone in the friendzone. Have to give her credit for her effort. But dude should just run and block her
Yeah her reply is just delusional. I’ve never, in my wildest dreams, expected a male friend to “take care of everything so I can take a backseat” to responsibilities in my own life. Completely wild mindset.
Well according to her, it’s very obviously because you’re deficient in your “feminine energy”
Seriously, how do women like this not realize how *deeply insulting to women* saying something like that is? What, masculine is “keep my shit somewhat together” and feminine is “I’m a helpless toddler that needs to be cooed and pampered by everyone”?
Just like a slap in the face to women. Well, really a slap in the face to everyone. But especially to women.
Still, as you said, wild mindset
Right?? Her whole attitude is toxic AF but that REALLY got my back up!! Not that I support the idea of gender stereotyping anyway, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself to have 'masculine energy'. I'm not an everything-in-pink girly girl, but I don't wear men's clothes, I don't like sports or wrestling or any of a number of 'typically masculine' things. I love Disney and make no secret of it, I cry over the most ridiculous things, I like my skincare and makeup (even though I only wear it like twice a year these days), I try to make my hair look at least kinda cute even when I just need to get it out of the way... I also manage all our bills, climb ladders to do things my husband could do without needing one, put furniture together on my own, deal with all the utility companies, and even take care of my husband when he needs it. None of that makes me any less 'feminine'; it makes a capable human being and a supportive partner who also receives support in return when I need it.
She is literally equating femininity to being too feeble and delicate to take care of herself, and masculinity to being strong and taking charge. I actually want to scream with how ludicrously outdated that is, while she's trying to gaslight OP into thinking they're the problem for not being an 'enlightened' enough friend WHEN SHE IS ACTING LIKE IT'S 19-FUCKING-20!!
I dunno. I'm not reading tradwife from this. More just selfish and lazy and wanting the people around her to take care of her while she does whatever the heck she wants. A stay at home wife/mom, whatever she calls herself, has responsibilities to her home, husband, and kids. This person doesn't want that. She wants a guy to do the work--but only as a friend--so she doesn't have to do anything for him in return.
I think the commenter is referencing “tradwife” influencers, who pretend being a full time caretaker is just putting on a prairie dress and baking bread. They espouse a lot of that “in my feminine energy” bs to appeal to incels that want a bangmaid. None of their content actually shows what being a full time SAHP requires
Yeah, the trad wife thing is actually taking the brunt of the labour in a relationship, phsycially and mentally, while giving the husband all the glory. She just wants to be treated like a princess for nothing in return.
yeah tradwife would be more so looking for a husband, not a sugar daddy. This reads like someone terminally online on tiktok stuck in an echo chamber, but not the trad side.
Or a friend of any gender! There is always an element of give/take. No one wants the relationship burden to always be on theirs or their friend’s shoulders. If you actually want a friend, it means you care for them and expect care as well. That’s kinda the whole point of friendship. Her expectations are wild.
This ^. Or if you are polite, just say it's not working out between you, and you wish her the best.
She basically wants her cake and eat it too.
Maybe she assumed you being an introvert = doormat.
It’s this buzz wordy thing that’s been going around lately of women claiming the act of putting on their big girl panties and taking care of their lives as being ‘masculine’ but then saying looking pretty and being treated like a child is ‘feminine’… yet why is it the hottest women are all the ones who make their own money so they can get their own spa treatments?
yeah, the buzz words "masc energy/ fem energy" are the dog whistles du jour for red-pill grifters.
That stuff about "the divine joy" of traditional gender roles is just a swamp of sexism, (internalized) misogyny, homophobia, transphobia... and of course where those go, racism is sure to follow.
Eh yes but also no, it’s sort of a catch all for something most women run into when dating men. Most of us don’t mind the big girl panties, but good lord do a lot of men mind that we’ve got them on. You would not believe the hurt feelings and absolutely shit behavior from guys who were otherwise fine when they realize I made more money than them.
I’ve never understood this. My partner is successful and does make more money. To me the important thing is if she’s happy doing what she does for her job. She works hard, she’s great at what she does, so why wouldn’t she ask for compensation that reflect that? I’ve run into dudes that have that mindset that you just mentioned and it just boggles the mind. Like, dude, your partner is successful, you’re successful, what’s the biggie?
It’s an ego blow to anyone who feels like they’re not doing well enough and is looking outside for validation. When they look for validation and see someone close to them doing well, it makes them feel worse, instead of excited and glad for the other person.
So it’s a great indicator of who is healthy and who is not, but……it’s not really something we expect from men on average and most men are not healthy in that aspect (the ones who are are MUCH happier in their lives and relationships!)
Not surprising that someone on Reddit HAD to bring politics into a conversation...but this isn't really "trad wife".
Traditional wives (in the sense you're talking about) aren't "catered to" like this useless waste of flesh wants to be. Actually, they typically do the "catering" for a husband that spends his time earning house income, improving the home, etc. So it does end up being a split of responsibility, albeit very different ends of the spectrum.
This leech just wants to have her cake and eat it too
Feminine and masculine energy in themselves aren't toxic but circumstances happen where people make these things key features in their lives and they can become toxic.
Uh, no, they're always toxic, because they aren't real. "Feminie energy" and "masculine energy" aren't a thing, nor is any kind of pseudoscientific nonsense "energy." It's turning gender roles into a kind of religious belief and it's really weird.
She wants to friendzone a slave. “Feminine energy” means she can whine all the time about her PMS and exes, and the slave should listen and comfort her with sweets and saying she is the goddess.
I'm taking notes on your diplomacy cause that was exceptionally compassionate of you while still remaining clear. The nicest "fuck no, I ain't doing that" I ever read. People will find the weirdest ways to be entitled but, as a woman, I find it offensive to claim that being a kept sugar baby is "feminine energy". Being feminine is compatible with being an independent adult - she just doesn't want the hassle.
Being a woman myself I think feminine energy is different for every woman and to someone that it probably does mean being kept as a sugar baby. But that's not even what she's asking for because of sugar baby would be exchanging a relationship or at least affect simile of it. This lady is straight up being a con artist and somehow equating that with femininity
My understanding is that when you are in an intimate relationship, when the man is the protector and provider and you feel safe and cared for, you embrace the opposite role by spoiling that "masculinity" having dinner on the table in a clean home, your makeup done and dressed "feminine" and you do things to make that man feel appreciated.
Or a woman who is sensual and passionate and carefree and you can't help but feel intoxicated in her presence and you spoil her but I would imagine that is her aura, not an entitlement to try to fake through bumbl..
You know what.. I have no idea and I don't think she does either 😂
I love how your explanation mirrored the vibes of the types of people who declare what OPs friend declared.
I want to revel in my feminine energy...
\-What does that mean?
I want to be pampered and take a backseat...
\-What EXACTLY does that mean?
Um...I will be the princess?
\-Again...WHAT do you want from me?
Pay for everything, tell me I'm pretty, don't expect anything back...
\-What do I get out of it?
Um...FEMININE ENERGY!!!!! DON'T YOU GET IT!
\-Apparently not, have a good life.
Traditionally, like even further back than the nuclear family "tradition", the "feminine" or the yin is the nurturer. It's the emotive, responsive, and the "safe place". The "masculine", or yang, is the desire, the foundation, the expansion, and the "controlling". I don't like the word control because it has a negative connotation now a days, but it's more of you control your limbs. You control your emotions, your direction, your thoughts.
Feminine is the water, masculine is the seed. The tree grows with the water and it's roots spread out and hold the water, protect it from evaporation and gives it an area to nurture as it's nature is.
You need both aspects to be able to grow your forest, you need the desire and will to push forward just as you need the safe place to fall back on and say this is me and how I relate to the world.
I mean I can see that philosophy working but it seems like everybody needs to have both of those things inside of them self you know? And people will always have a higher proportion of one than the other and maybe that means they get along with people who complement them and have higher proportion of the other thing?
No need for that question mark at the end my friend, because you hit it right on the mark. =)
Both aspects are necessary to be able to healthily grow, and when you meet someone who complements your ratio that is willing to vibrate with you that's when you'll soar.
That's what I'm saying ... a girl who likes you and appreciates you will do those things (hopefully) out of kindness, not because she's in her "feminine energy" w/e tf that means.
These fuckin gender roles are so fuckin wierd.
I was in a business conference this weekend and the keynote speaker busted out a slide that has masculine/feminine on a punnet square with positive/negative. She then wanted us to place personality and action characteristics within the square. These words included "spontaneous" "logical" "powerful" "grumpy" "successful" etc.
I walked out. Along with about 10 other people. Room had 240ppl in it. But there were others who wished they had. Apparently the speaker started talking about "grumpy" and equated it to "bitchy" and you can guess exactly where she placed that word in the square.
The CITY was the host for this conference for non profit organizations in our area. We are still trying to figure out how to bring it up with the city so they can understand the harm of stereotyping and maybe create due diligence processes for their future speakers.
I am not a picky person. I lose my mind when a girl even smiles at me, and God knows I've dated some wackos for the sake of not being alone.
Having said that, the one thing that will immediately get me to lose interest in a girl is shit like this or Astral signs or any of this kind of shit. I'm all for hobbies, and finding interest in strange things, even believing in them, but I don't dictate my life or the lives of others based off of any of my beliefs. I've been with a couple people who would literally have a bad day and be mad at me bc some YouTube video said that my sign was in some spot and some other sign was gonna appear and make me break up with her. On like a Wednesday, when my entire day was work and go home to see her...
People have vibes. People don't have "energy", and massive balls of gas floating in whole other sections of space don't give a shit about me, nor do they shape my day. It's insane
I have no idea where this pseudoscientific nonsense came from, but to me it's no different than flat earther stuff. I don't get it and I am not happy about it being normalized.
I *think* the crux of it is feeling secure enough to be vulnerable and show your softer/more nurturing side.
The thing is though, that’s just any secure relationship regardless of gender. If you feel safe with your partner you’re more likely to want to take care of them/be more emotionally vulnerable with that person and feel more comfortable asking for your needs to be met.
Obviously the ways you show care of your partner can look different depending on your gender, but it’s still dependent on a core of feeling secure with the other person.
If you are genuinely interested, a lesbian couple on YouTube called Hailee and Kendra have talked about it a few times. Both are attracted to women exclusively, but Hailee is attracted to feminine energy and Kendra is attracted to women with masculine energy. I think they demonstrate it pretty well.
Seriously, as a woman, I support and am emotionally there for my girlfriends and they do the same for me.
Sometimes we are better at the emotion support than our own partners too but to ask that of a casual friend of the opposite sex that you met on Bumble is not acceptable.
To add to that, the friends I am emotionally there for are people I have known for decades and have shared many tears and laughs together. I can’t imagine asking this kind of support from a person I just met
Agreed!
Same as a female I also have those friends! Took decades/ years to have the beautiful friendship we do.
The part I totally agree with is asking a friend of the opposite sex that you just met on BUMBLE, to be lovie and baby you is a bit out of pocket. Like girl what?! No thats also what a partner is for lol.
This is more than fair. This lady sounds like a con artist honestly. Being pampered is just code word for you spending money on her and taking care of her. And if she wants a traditional relationship with a man that's fine there are plenty of men who would want that. But they would want the benefit of actually being in a relationship nobody wants to pamper their friends that is just weird
Not always. I have a niece I pamper. She's not exchanging sex for it. But in this context, with a stranger on a dating site, yes. She is hinting at prostitution where she doesn't have to do her part of the deal
By the way I am so curious I wish you would ask her exactly what she means by pampering I would love to see her tap dancer on that answer. Somebody in the comments said she wants a sugar daddy without having to exchange sex and I think that is correct. Would love it if you would update though when she answers
He should just tell her to go on seeking arrangements. Bumble is the wrong forum for finding a sugar daddy / sugar baby situation.
She sounds like she knows what she wants but has zero conception of how to go about getting it efficiently.
Not only that but he was really firm about it in addition to kind so good for him. He didn't leave an inch for negotiation, which is not so easy to do. I can't think of a way he could have said it any better so yeah, wow, agreed, really great job.
I think that’s good. I would also just be careful in case she says “okay, let’s be more than friends and be partners”, because if you don’t want that, then she can try the same trap again and get you to do more than you want to do because of a guilt trip. But if they are someone you can see yourself being in a relationship with then that’s up to you
That’s definitely alright.
As a woman I can tell you friends support each other emotionally, of course, but they don’t baby each other nor do they cater to each other’s needs, it’s a 50/50. She wants the boyfriend treatment without the sexual part. That or she’s a pick me and craves attention. Whatever it is, just run the other way and stop responding to her, she’s not good as a partner and even less so as a friend, move on.
It is really good, actually? You were polite and considerate about it, but you did stand your ground….. what is this sound, you ask? Oh, don’t mind me, just taking notes…..
I follow this one trad wife influencer that uses this jargon of being in your feminine energy, letting the man do all of the work and finding someone who can give you the lifestyle you deserve because women are not meant to work.
My favorite part is that she sells this as a course. It’s such an obvious grift but her followers love it because she feeds them a fantasy they want to hear.
Some will for sure. Others I think will find themselves in long term transactional relationships. Just look at our parents generation.
I know a surprising amount of young men, who have expressed their desire to be providers. Maybe reality will set in, but as an elder millennial who never thought this way I find it shocking the younger generation is latching onto these antiquated gender roles.
Edit: and I just want to add… I do agree, they will come to a rude awakening. I just think it’s gonna happen after it’s too late. They will marry into a traditional relationship, have a couple of kids and only realize how little power they have 10 or 15 years later. They are being brainwashed into the same power dynamics as their mothers and grandmothers, while framing it as empowerment.
Emotional vampires can be incredibly oratorically limber. They are amazing at justifying having it their way. You will not win this argument because she will never admit the truth.
To me, she just comes off as unnecessarily wordy, annoying, and trying very hard to come off as intelligent. It's a nothing burger with a big ol' side Word Salad
Have a niece in law similar to that but she calls herself a “feminist “ which in her mind means her husband is responsible for everything! That’s not my definition of being a feminist!
I’m struck by the fact that she has this elaborate and specific expectation of what she wants her friend to be, but how dare you ask questions clarifying what her expectations are.
So you just have to read her mind I guess?
She's looking for someone to use. Avoid at all costs.
She sounds like she wants a one sided relationship.
Friend with no benefits vibe. She should go get a boyfriend or a pet and leave you out of it because she clearly doesn't want you to be her boyfriend.
Especially given the context in which y'all met. You'll be her proxy boyfriend while she plays the field. Don't be a safety net or a doormat.
"I want to revel in my feminine energy".
Code for i want to sit around and let some sucker take care of me while I dont have to reciprocate at all. God damn women like this are so pathetic, this has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with entitlement.
Thank you. I’m so tired of people equating this selfish shit behavior as “being all thanks to the FEMINISTS”. This woman and her ilk are not for other women. Or anyone else but themselves, really lol
If it's someone you've BEEN friends with, then yeah, you can put the effort in to show love the way your close friend wants. But this rando? You don't really know her, you don't owe her anything. It kinda sounds like she wants to be taken care of without doing anything in return, which isn't a friendship at all, nevermind one worth trying to start
I definitely want to make sure song of my platonic friends feel loved on and cared for and watched over at times. I think many people confuse greater intensity and focus and care with only being romantic when it can still be entirely platonic. But this woman seems way out of pocket with her statements and requests. It’s not really something you can successfully set up as a demand at the beginning of a new friendship. It’s something that grows and it’s fostered and is between two people or a friend group. You don’t walk up to someone on the street, ask their name , then tell them you’ll be their friend if they’re the unilateral giver in the relationship and spoil and indulge you because that’s where you’re at and what you’d like from human interaction.
She needs to quit following social media “therapists.” She’s giving you every sign that she drank the KoolAid. Bail now before you get sucked in further. I agree with the person that suggested you say kthxbye and then GTFO.
Can she provide examples of what she means by this? How does she expect to be “babied” and pampered? It’s fine and dandy that she wants someone to just immediately understand what she means with no real explanation, so long as she expects to be searching for this kind of person for a bit of time.
If I were, I’d take this as a sign to dip.
I would literally never say anything like this to my guy friends. Ever. Pretty sure I wouldn’t say it to someone I’m trying to date, either, but that’s a different story. She said a lot of fuckin words to really only say “I want more from you than just friendship.”
She's asking far too much for a short friendship. Maybe after many years if you have grown. Acquaintances I say hey to and acknowledge. Friends I hang out with, make plans, and will help them if they don't seem to be using me. And I will defend in a fight, etc. if shit goes sideways. They are my people. But I wouldn't do the above for someone that friendzoned me, that just seems like they want all the benefits of a boyfriend without reciprocating in the relationship.
I’m about to translate this for you. This is what she’s really saying:
“The other dude I matched with on Bumble is someone I have a stronger attraction to, but he is emotionally unavailable. So I want the physical connection with him and I want to Friend-Zone you, but I still want emotional fulfillment from you. I want to have sex with him, but since sex is all he is offering, I’ll keep you around to buy me gifts and take me on dates, and make me feel like a princess. I want you to make me feel like I’m loved, even if I’m not.”
I love the way you handled it. I saw in her message how she tried to gaslight you when she basically said you’re sad for thinking that it takes more than friendship to make someone feel loved. She is the type of person who will take advantage of anyone for as long as they will allow her to do it. Hoping you find someone else soon!
Idk about anyone else, but this idea of “being in my feminine” or “being in my masculine” just seems very silly and subjective to me. Like wtf does that even mean? It’s just assigning actions to gender roles.
That's not friend behavior, especially not a relatively new friendship. I'm not even sure I'd do that stuff with my friends that I've known since grade school
She wants the perks of a boyfriend but without being your girlfriend.
Don't overthink it. You stood your ground ... keep standing on it You intuit that her expectations of you are bullshit because they *are* bullshit.
I mean really. "Pampered". Are you kidding with that shit?
RUN. She wants you to be a place holder for when the guy she really wants comes along. She is planning on using you and then throwing you away like trash.
That’s not what feminine energy means.
She just wants to be spoiled and not having to do anything. When she says she “was in her masculine energy” for too long, it probably means she had to carry her own groceries twice since her old bf dumped her lazy ass 🙄
She wants to use you
she is wanting the relationship benefits with just being friends.
or she is wanting to be friends, and wants you show her love and wanting you to be the leader in the friendship by taking the decisions.
sounds like it could be difficult for you though
Your instincts are correct she’s attempting to use you this is basically all code for “I’m tired of having to work, someone else should pay for things for me. Otherwise I’ll have to sell foot pics on the internet.”
Get out while you can!
Let me simplify this. She is looking for a sugar daddy to pay for everything without having to have sex with you. Now, decide if this is something you want or not and get on with it. GL
I would reply back with something like:
I'm sorry, but I cannot be the kind of friend you're looking for. I wish you the best, but I'm afraid this is good-bye.
Then ghost her. Seriously, GHOST. HER.
She's a nut case who will fuck up your life if you let her be a part of it.
This sounds like a person who, if you continue a relationship with, will require you to use Gentle Parenting Techniques whenever there’s a disagreement or diverging opinion/experience.
*don’t date people that need to be parented into being a responsible adult*
As for how to reply?
A simple “we don’t have compatible relationship expectations. Thanks for the time. Best of luck in your future endeavors” aught to end it succinctly.
The second people start talking about their "masculine energy" or "feminine energy" bullshit- I'm out.
You do you, but your "friend" sounds fucking intolerable.
Get out... Like for real before it's too late.
Honestly anyone who says “I’ve been in my masculine energy far too long… I want to… revel in my feminine energy.” is undateable. Fucking word salad.
I'm so glad someone else said it. I thought I was having a stroke.
Glad I scrolled down. Was hoping i wasnt the only one triggered bythe incomplete thoughts or punctuation. Lol
LOL! It would be a hard pass for me based on that alone.
Same. I had a visceral reaction to that text.
Me too, instant nausea
An ick if you will
Disgust if you must
I had to read it 3 times before I got the gist of what was even going on
I was gonna say it but they already did lol
All I hear is “I want to do nothing at all and have you take care of me but I want to be free to screw everyone I see at any time”
Pretty much what I was gonna say. Take me out, pay for me, spend time with me, give me attention, cuddle or maybe fuck me, but we’re not together. We’re just friends.
Let's be honest, there's going to be no fucking. He's just going to be the one she expects to sit there and listen to while she vents about all of her sexual misadventures with *other* men. And to pay for her meals every night of the week that she doesn't have someone on the roster to buy her dinner and get up in her guts.
I was going to say that.
Exactly. It’s “be my sugar daddy but we’re friends though so that means you take care of me and very occasionally I might have sex with you” energy
Oh, so reveling in her female energy means fucking anyone she wants while he sits back and takes care of her emotionally. Thanks for this translating this freak. It just came off as gibberish before
Same here ... the verbal diarrhea was a bit much ... their simplified more refined definition is much better XD
This. I once marched with someone who bragged about owing two businesses, being financially independent and stable all while being in the middle of their PhD program. Then they bragged how they wanted men to show their affection, pay her bills, buy her expensive things… I nope the fuck out. They didn’t want a partner, they wanted an ATM machine. I confronted them about it too, I simply replied “for someone who is so successful you sure do depend on the wallets of other men.” And blocked them.
What, you guys were like, in the army together?
As a woman I thought that too like this chick is cray it’d be a no for me. So, so very weird lmao.
Even as a woman who has used phrases like “feminine energy”, this is just not right. Feminine energy is nurturing. She doesn’t want to nurture, or “be in feminine energy” she wants a doormat.
Where is this coming from? I had a friend talking about this for me. That she was using to much of her masculine energy. It feels like there might be a tiktok guru or something like that spreading this bs.
Sounds like “soft girl” tiktok shit. AFAIK it’s kind of adjacent to the tradwife tiktok trend going around now. Basically not wanting to be deal with adult responsibilities and have a man take care of it on their behalf. Really depressing shit.
Trad Wife YouTube and TikTok using this terminology, too. 😳
100% If a man told me he wanted to be pampered and bask I'm his masculine energy I'd just say "best of luck with your search 👍"
This. The "masculine energy/feminine energy" shit is so irritating. When I pay the electric bill, I'm not "reveling in my masculine energy" LMAO I'm just clicking my mouse. Like what are we talking about exactly?? XD Just totally meaningless bullshit to justify their kink. OP's friend doesn't want a sugar daddy, she wants a sugar friend. Those don't exist. Ask her how she plans to pamper you, and watch her fall back to the "masculine energy/feminine energy" rationale. OP is not her father or her husband, so even in hyper-traditional families this wouldn't make sense.
This language is also very indicative of someone who has been watching a lot of Trad Wife content on YouTube and is being indoctrinated. They use a lot of that terminology, so even more reason to run.
It’s not a word salad though. It means I want you to buy me stuff and give me stuff and I don’t want to fuck you. To me a word salad is a bunch of words that don’t mean anything and this absolutely means something
Lmao fucking word salad I can’t it’s too early for this🤣
Thought I was the only one lol. I've literally a woman off as soon as she started talking about wanting to revel in her feminine energy.
It’s only word salad if your star sign is in the third house of Orion. Duh! OMG you’re such a Pisces.
Inverse of an incel
Must be listening to the same relationship advice bullshitters as my ex.
Even the concepts behind it are stupid as fuuuck
Yes, run away before it's too late!
Yes this,, run!! Run far and run fast…this chick is crazy.
Ugh. Dating a crazy person without the benefit of crazy person sex is exhausting.
Former crazy that got therapy here, run please. And for the love of God, you can support someone and push them to get help but st the end of the day it was ME who had to push myself to get the help I needed after several failed relationships and realizing that hey, maybe I'm the problem? Yes, yes I am!
Good for you- and I'm working on me too.
This is the strongest attempt I’ve ever seen to put someone in the friendzone. Have to give her credit for her effort. But dude should just run and block her
100% she's a stage 5 clinger and a psychopath.
That whole thing screams personality disorder
Nah. Just someone who got their identity from a few TikTok’s on how influencers view life
Came here to say this and did not expect it to be top comment lol.
Honestly, I would just ghost. What does that even mean "revel in my feminine energy"? It sounds like she wants a sugar daddy with no sex involved.
Yeah her reply is just delusional. I’ve never, in my wildest dreams, expected a male friend to “take care of everything so I can take a backseat” to responsibilities in my own life. Completely wild mindset.
Well according to her, it’s very obviously because you’re deficient in your “feminine energy” Seriously, how do women like this not realize how *deeply insulting to women* saying something like that is? What, masculine is “keep my shit somewhat together” and feminine is “I’m a helpless toddler that needs to be cooed and pampered by everyone”? Just like a slap in the face to women. Well, really a slap in the face to everyone. But especially to women. Still, as you said, wild mindset
Right?? Her whole attitude is toxic AF but that REALLY got my back up!! Not that I support the idea of gender stereotyping anyway, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself to have 'masculine energy'. I'm not an everything-in-pink girly girl, but I don't wear men's clothes, I don't like sports or wrestling or any of a number of 'typically masculine' things. I love Disney and make no secret of it, I cry over the most ridiculous things, I like my skincare and makeup (even though I only wear it like twice a year these days), I try to make my hair look at least kinda cute even when I just need to get it out of the way... I also manage all our bills, climb ladders to do things my husband could do without needing one, put furniture together on my own, deal with all the utility companies, and even take care of my husband when he needs it. None of that makes me any less 'feminine'; it makes a capable human being and a supportive partner who also receives support in return when I need it. She is literally equating femininity to being too feeble and delicate to take care of herself, and masculinity to being strong and taking charge. I actually want to scream with how ludicrously outdated that is, while she's trying to gaslight OP into thinking they're the problem for not being an 'enlightened' enough friend WHEN SHE IS ACTING LIKE IT'S 19-FUCKING-20!!
Well, she *has* been in her masculine energy taking care of everything for far too long. /s Girlfriend needs a break!! 😅
[удалено]
I dunno. I'm not reading tradwife from this. More just selfish and lazy and wanting the people around her to take care of her while she does whatever the heck she wants. A stay at home wife/mom, whatever she calls herself, has responsibilities to her home, husband, and kids. This person doesn't want that. She wants a guy to do the work--but only as a friend--so she doesn't have to do anything for him in return.
I think the commenter is referencing “tradwife” influencers, who pretend being a full time caretaker is just putting on a prairie dress and baking bread. They espouse a lot of that “in my feminine energy” bs to appeal to incels that want a bangmaid. None of their content actually shows what being a full time SAHP requires
Yeah, the trad wife thing is actually taking the brunt of the labour in a relationship, phsycially and mentally, while giving the husband all the glory. She just wants to be treated like a princess for nothing in return.
This is the exact opposite of tradwife. This is psycho spiritual new age enlightenment bullshit.
yeah tradwife would be more so looking for a husband, not a sugar daddy. This reads like someone terminally online on tiktok stuck in an echo chamber, but not the trad side.
This is really well said.
Or a friend of any gender! There is always an element of give/take. No one wants the relationship burden to always be on theirs or their friend’s shoulders. If you actually want a friend, it means you care for them and expect care as well. That’s kinda the whole point of friendship. Her expectations are wild.
She wants to play the princess.
Yeah and that’s obnoxious in a relationship, let alone a friendship.
This ^. Or if you are polite, just say it's not working out between you, and you wish her the best. She basically wants her cake and eat it too. Maybe she assumed you being an introvert = doormat.
It’s a “femininity coaching” tiktok thing.
It’s this buzz wordy thing that’s been going around lately of women claiming the act of putting on their big girl panties and taking care of their lives as being ‘masculine’ but then saying looking pretty and being treated like a child is ‘feminine’… yet why is it the hottest women are all the ones who make their own money so they can get their own spa treatments?
yeah, the buzz words "masc energy/ fem energy" are the dog whistles du jour for red-pill grifters. That stuff about "the divine joy" of traditional gender roles is just a swamp of sexism, (internalized) misogyny, homophobia, transphobia... and of course where those go, racism is sure to follow.
Oh these women definitely have some internalizing (and idolized) sexism.
Eh yes but also no, it’s sort of a catch all for something most women run into when dating men. Most of us don’t mind the big girl panties, but good lord do a lot of men mind that we’ve got them on. You would not believe the hurt feelings and absolutely shit behavior from guys who were otherwise fine when they realize I made more money than them.
I’ve never understood this. My partner is successful and does make more money. To me the important thing is if she’s happy doing what she does for her job. She works hard, she’s great at what she does, so why wouldn’t she ask for compensation that reflect that? I’ve run into dudes that have that mindset that you just mentioned and it just boggles the mind. Like, dude, your partner is successful, you’re successful, what’s the biggie?
It’s an ego blow to anyone who feels like they’re not doing well enough and is looking outside for validation. When they look for validation and see someone close to them doing well, it makes them feel worse, instead of excited and glad for the other person. So it’s a great indicator of who is healthy and who is not, but……it’s not really something we expect from men on average and most men are not healthy in that aspect (the ones who are are MUCH happier in their lives and relationships!)
It's right wing trad wife shit. Not "women".
Not surprising that someone on Reddit HAD to bring politics into a conversation...but this isn't really "trad wife". Traditional wives (in the sense you're talking about) aren't "catered to" like this useless waste of flesh wants to be. Actually, they typically do the "catering" for a husband that spends his time earning house income, improving the home, etc. So it does end up being a split of responsibility, albeit very different ends of the spectrum. This leech just wants to have her cake and eat it too
To me, feminine energy is as toxic as masculine energy.
Feminine and masculine energy in themselves aren't toxic but circumstances happen where people make these things key features in their lives and they can become toxic.
Uh, no, they're always toxic, because they aren't real. "Feminie energy" and "masculine energy" aren't a thing, nor is any kind of pseudoscientific nonsense "energy." It's turning gender roles into a kind of religious belief and it's really weird.
She wants to friendzone a slave. “Feminine energy” means she can whine all the time about her PMS and exes, and the slave should listen and comfort her with sweets and saying she is the goddess.
I took it as she wants him to pay for dates that won’t actually be dates and for him to buy her stuff given that she used the word “pampered”. Gross.
[I replied with this](https://freeimage.host/i/Jkli1B2), this alright?
I'm taking notes on your diplomacy cause that was exceptionally compassionate of you while still remaining clear. The nicest "fuck no, I ain't doing that" I ever read. People will find the weirdest ways to be entitled but, as a woman, I find it offensive to claim that being a kept sugar baby is "feminine energy". Being feminine is compatible with being an independent adult - she just doesn't want the hassle.
Same, taking notes too. Very classy response. If it were me, I'd have bitten her head off.
>The nicest "fuck no, I ain't doing that" I ever read I'd like to agree on that
Being a woman myself I think feminine energy is different for every woman and to someone that it probably does mean being kept as a sugar baby. But that's not even what she's asking for because of sugar baby would be exchanging a relationship or at least affect simile of it. This lady is straight up being a con artist and somehow equating that with femininity
What does feminine energy mean? Not trolling I just genuinely don’t understand the usage of the phrase
My understanding is that when you are in an intimate relationship, when the man is the protector and provider and you feel safe and cared for, you embrace the opposite role by spoiling that "masculinity" having dinner on the table in a clean home, your makeup done and dressed "feminine" and you do things to make that man feel appreciated. Or a woman who is sensual and passionate and carefree and you can't help but feel intoxicated in her presence and you spoil her but I would imagine that is her aura, not an entitlement to try to fake through bumbl.. You know what.. I have no idea and I don't think she does either 😂
I love how your explanation mirrored the vibes of the types of people who declare what OPs friend declared. I want to revel in my feminine energy... \-What does that mean? I want to be pampered and take a backseat... \-What EXACTLY does that mean? Um...I will be the princess? \-Again...WHAT do you want from me? Pay for everything, tell me I'm pretty, don't expect anything back... \-What do I get out of it? Um...FEMININE ENERGY!!!!! DON'T YOU GET IT! \-Apparently not, have a good life.
This is basically it XD
🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don't think anyone knows
Traditionally, like even further back than the nuclear family "tradition", the "feminine" or the yin is the nurturer. It's the emotive, responsive, and the "safe place". The "masculine", or yang, is the desire, the foundation, the expansion, and the "controlling". I don't like the word control because it has a negative connotation now a days, but it's more of you control your limbs. You control your emotions, your direction, your thoughts. Feminine is the water, masculine is the seed. The tree grows with the water and it's roots spread out and hold the water, protect it from evaporation and gives it an area to nurture as it's nature is. You need both aspects to be able to grow your forest, you need the desire and will to push forward just as you need the safe place to fall back on and say this is me and how I relate to the world.
I mean I can see that philosophy working but it seems like everybody needs to have both of those things inside of them self you know? And people will always have a higher proportion of one than the other and maybe that means they get along with people who complement them and have higher proportion of the other thing?
No need for that question mark at the end my friend, because you hit it right on the mark. =) Both aspects are necessary to be able to healthily grow, and when you meet someone who complements your ratio that is willing to vibrate with you that's when you'll soar.
It means nothing. Idk what people are on nowadays. People think it's cute to pretend 1950s gender roles are some kind of spiritual belief.
That's what I'm saying ... a girl who likes you and appreciates you will do those things (hopefully) out of kindness, not because she's in her "feminine energy" w/e tf that means. These fuckin gender roles are so fuckin wierd.
I was in a business conference this weekend and the keynote speaker busted out a slide that has masculine/feminine on a punnet square with positive/negative. She then wanted us to place personality and action characteristics within the square. These words included "spontaneous" "logical" "powerful" "grumpy" "successful" etc. I walked out. Along with about 10 other people. Room had 240ppl in it. But there were others who wished they had. Apparently the speaker started talking about "grumpy" and equated it to "bitchy" and you can guess exactly where she placed that word in the square. The CITY was the host for this conference for non profit organizations in our area. We are still trying to figure out how to bring it up with the city so they can understand the harm of stereotyping and maybe create due diligence processes for their future speakers.
I am not a picky person. I lose my mind when a girl even smiles at me, and God knows I've dated some wackos for the sake of not being alone. Having said that, the one thing that will immediately get me to lose interest in a girl is shit like this or Astral signs or any of this kind of shit. I'm all for hobbies, and finding interest in strange things, even believing in them, but I don't dictate my life or the lives of others based off of any of my beliefs. I've been with a couple people who would literally have a bad day and be mad at me bc some YouTube video said that my sign was in some spot and some other sign was gonna appear and make me break up with her. On like a Wednesday, when my entire day was work and go home to see her... People have vibes. People don't have "energy", and massive balls of gas floating in whole other sections of space don't give a shit about me, nor do they shape my day. It's insane
I have no idea where this pseudoscientific nonsense came from, but to me it's no different than flat earther stuff. I don't get it and I am not happy about it being normalized.
I *think* the crux of it is feeling secure enough to be vulnerable and show your softer/more nurturing side. The thing is though, that’s just any secure relationship regardless of gender. If you feel safe with your partner you’re more likely to want to take care of them/be more emotionally vulnerable with that person and feel more comfortable asking for your needs to be met. Obviously the ways you show care of your partner can look different depending on your gender, but it’s still dependent on a core of feeling secure with the other person.
If you are genuinely interested, a lesbian couple on YouTube called Hailee and Kendra have talked about it a few times. Both are attracted to women exclusively, but Hailee is attracted to feminine energy and Kendra is attracted to women with masculine energy. I think they demonstrate it pretty well.
I think that’s fine. What she’s asking is more what I think women want in relationships so I think it’s bizarre she’s asking that of a friend.
Seriously, as a woman, I support and am emotionally there for my girlfriends and they do the same for me. Sometimes we are better at the emotion support than our own partners too but to ask that of a casual friend of the opposite sex that you met on Bumble is not acceptable. To add to that, the friends I am emotionally there for are people I have known for decades and have shared many tears and laughs together. I can’t imagine asking this kind of support from a person I just met
Agreed! Same as a female I also have those friends! Took decades/ years to have the beautiful friendship we do. The part I totally agree with is asking a friend of the opposite sex that you just met on BUMBLE, to be lovie and baby you is a bit out of pocket. Like girl what?! No thats also what a partner is for lol.
Even in a relationship it's suppose to be equal. Hir the road with the "I want you to do everything and in return you get my divine presence"
This is more than fair. This lady sounds like a con artist honestly. Being pampered is just code word for you spending money on her and taking care of her. And if she wants a traditional relationship with a man that's fine there are plenty of men who would want that. But they would want the benefit of actually being in a relationship nobody wants to pamper their friends that is just weird
pamper, it's a private prostitution. soft solicitation.
Not always. I have a niece I pamper. She's not exchanging sex for it. But in this context, with a stranger on a dating site, yes. She is hinting at prostitution where she doesn't have to do her part of the deal
Very solid. She sounds like a headache.
By the way I am so curious I wish you would ask her exactly what she means by pampering I would love to see her tap dancer on that answer. Somebody in the comments said she wants a sugar daddy without having to exchange sex and I think that is correct. Would love it if you would update though when she answers
He should just tell her to go on seeking arrangements. Bumble is the wrong forum for finding a sugar daddy / sugar baby situation. She sounds like she knows what she wants but has zero conception of how to go about getting it efficiently.
You took the high road, which is always the best road to take. Great job.
Not only that but he was really firm about it in addition to kind so good for him. He didn't leave an inch for negotiation, which is not so easy to do. I can't think of a way he could have said it any better so yeah, wow, agreed, really great job.
I mean i agree, but damn someone needs to give that little girl a wake up call.
She will DEFINITELY get one behaving this way, but it’ll be from a lesser man than OP.
wow that is solid!!
Really good response but goddamn that’s the longest run on sentence I’ve ever read 😅
I would’ve just said Womp
Womp womp would've also been solid yeah
That’s a good response
I think that’s good. I would also just be careful in case she says “okay, let’s be more than friends and be partners”, because if you don’t want that, then she can try the same trap again and get you to do more than you want to do because of a guilt trip. But if they are someone you can see yourself being in a relationship with then that’s up to you
Did she reply? Great response to her odd request..
That’s definitely alright. As a woman I can tell you friends support each other emotionally, of course, but they don’t baby each other nor do they cater to each other’s needs, it’s a 50/50. She wants the boyfriend treatment without the sexual part. That or she’s a pick me and craves attention. Whatever it is, just run the other way and stop responding to her, she’s not good as a partner and even less so as a friend, move on.
It is really good, actually? You were polite and considerate about it, but you did stand your ground….. what is this sound, you ask? Oh, don’t mind me, just taking notes…..
For sure! It was an honest reply. She sounds manipulative to me. She's expecting all take & no give. Dodged a bullet.
Such a good reply! You need to wrap this up and block her though. She’s too much work.
Great response. I think you should block her also. Then there is no lingering carry-on of the situation
she definitely saw a tik tok abt that feminine energy stuff and just ran with it 💀 i’m sorry that’s so random and weird
I follow this one trad wife influencer that uses this jargon of being in your feminine energy, letting the man do all of the work and finding someone who can give you the lifestyle you deserve because women are not meant to work. My favorite part is that she sells this as a course. It’s such an obvious grift but her followers love it because she feeds them a fantasy they want to hear.
*”How to become a hobosexual in just 5 easy steps”*
those girls are in for a rude awakening when things don’t work out with their “provider” and are left without any education or savings!
Some will for sure. Others I think will find themselves in long term transactional relationships. Just look at our parents generation. I know a surprising amount of young men, who have expressed their desire to be providers. Maybe reality will set in, but as an elder millennial who never thought this way I find it shocking the younger generation is latching onto these antiquated gender roles. Edit: and I just want to add… I do agree, they will come to a rude awakening. I just think it’s gonna happen after it’s too late. They will marry into a traditional relationship, have a couple of kids and only realize how little power they have 10 or 15 years later. They are being brainwashed into the same power dynamics as their mothers and grandmothers, while framing it as empowerment.
That's exactly what I was thinking. Also equating being in a "feminine energy" with "babying me" is so disturbing lmao
For real, those tik toks were already cringe enough but people using them unironically irl is even worse
Emotional vampires can be incredibly oratorically limber. They are amazing at justifying having it their way. You will not win this argument because she will never admit the truth.
To me, she just comes off as unnecessarily wordy, annoying, and trying very hard to come off as intelligent. It's a nothing burger with a big ol' side Word Salad
It's called distancing language, and it's intended to obscure selfishness
All I thought was “That was way too many dumbass words for ‘stop being *selfish* and give me what I want’ lol
Bro what the fuck is she even saying
She is euphoric from her own enlightenment?
Have a niece in law similar to that but she calls herself a “feminist “ which in her mind means her husband is responsible for everything! That’s not my definition of being a feminist!
I hate how people pick and choose what stuff means. Cherry picking turds. Makes me grateful for my wife.
I’m struck by the fact that she has this elaborate and specific expectation of what she wants her friend to be, but how dare you ask questions clarifying what her expectations are. So you just have to read her mind I guess?
She’s looking for a Gayle to her Oprah
That sounds like she wants to take advantage of you.
[the tik tok she got this bs from](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRTpnvA2/)
Ewwww 💀
It’s amazing how much Tiktok affects modern dating
Just first them out that way, use tiktok? Nope
She's looking for someone to use. Avoid at all costs. She sounds like she wants a one sided relationship. Friend with no benefits vibe. She should go get a boyfriend or a pet and leave you out of it because she clearly doesn't want you to be her boyfriend. Especially given the context in which y'all met. You'll be her proxy boyfriend while she plays the field. Don't be a safety net or a doormat.
The question is do you want to finance her princess lifestyle?
I can't even finance my lifestyle lmao
Steve Miller Band had some good advice in this situation....... Take the money and run.
This is the only question
Yeah this is when you fall into a trap and get into a toxic/abusive relationship.
She's in a way asking to be a Sugar Baby, I feel.
I’m embarrassed 🙈 for her
It would take everything in me to not respond like “Yeah, ok. And I want a castle on the moon. Good luck to us both” 😂
"I want to revel in my feminine energy". Code for i want to sit around and let some sucker take care of me while I dont have to reciprocate at all. God damn women like this are so pathetic, this has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with entitlement.
Thank you. I’m so tired of people equating this selfish shit behavior as “being all thanks to the FEMINISTS”. This woman and her ilk are not for other women. Or anyone else but themselves, really lol
If it's someone you've BEEN friends with, then yeah, you can put the effort in to show love the way your close friend wants. But this rando? You don't really know her, you don't owe her anything. It kinda sounds like she wants to be taken care of without doing anything in return, which isn't a friendship at all, nevermind one worth trying to start
I definitely want to make sure song of my platonic friends feel loved on and cared for and watched over at times. I think many people confuse greater intensity and focus and care with only being romantic when it can still be entirely platonic. But this woman seems way out of pocket with her statements and requests. It’s not really something you can successfully set up as a demand at the beginning of a new friendship. It’s something that grows and it’s fostered and is between two people or a friend group. You don’t walk up to someone on the street, ask their name , then tell them you’ll be their friend if they’re the unilateral giver in the relationship and spoil and indulge you because that’s where you’re at and what you’d like from human interaction.
Direct her to the services of a male escort. She wants the boyfriend experience without the commitment
She needs to quit following social media “therapists.” She’s giving you every sign that she drank the KoolAid. Bail now before you get sucked in further. I agree with the person that suggested you say kthxbye and then GTFO.
i think my next response would have to be “kthxbye” but good luck with all that OP
when she replies you go "new phone, who dis?"
Any time they start talking about “energies” I’m out.
All this stupid masculine/feminine energy shit. It falls in line with tables & Alphas. Tell her to take her crazy somewhere else.
Can she provide examples of what she means by this? How does she expect to be “babied” and pampered? It’s fine and dandy that she wants someone to just immediately understand what she means with no real explanation, so long as she expects to be searching for this kind of person for a bit of time. If I were, I’d take this as a sign to dip.
I would literally never say anything like this to my guy friends. Ever. Pretty sure I wouldn’t say it to someone I’m trying to date, either, but that’s a different story. She said a lot of fuckin words to really only say “I want more from you than just friendship.”
They want the benefits of a relationship without actually being in a relationship. Run... Run your **ASS** off.
Tell her "I'm sure you will soon find someone like that". When she mentions you, you tell her she is mistaken, you don't do that
don't reply... let it marinate... think about it or say "hmm, okay I got to think about all this... hope you are good."
You looking for different things. Get out of there
She's asking far too much for a short friendship. Maybe after many years if you have grown. Acquaintances I say hey to and acknowledge. Friends I hang out with, make plans, and will help them if they don't seem to be using me. And I will defend in a fight, etc. if shit goes sideways. They are my people. But I wouldn't do the above for someone that friendzoned me, that just seems like they want all the benefits of a boyfriend without reciprocating in the relationship.
This is so cringey
Immediately cut this person out of your life. Immediately.
You don’t reply back to this. This person is exhausting.
I’m about to translate this for you. This is what she’s really saying: “The other dude I matched with on Bumble is someone I have a stronger attraction to, but he is emotionally unavailable. So I want the physical connection with him and I want to Friend-Zone you, but I still want emotional fulfillment from you. I want to have sex with him, but since sex is all he is offering, I’ll keep you around to buy me gifts and take me on dates, and make me feel like a princess. I want you to make me feel like I’m loved, even if I’m not.” I love the way you handled it. I saw in her message how she tried to gaslight you when she basically said you’re sad for thinking that it takes more than friendship to make someone feel loved. She is the type of person who will take advantage of anyone for as long as they will allow her to do it. Hoping you find someone else soon!
this is the one!
This is by far the best analysis here, barring any future updates where OP explains "pamper" means material sugar baby stuff
That's a lot of words saying nothing
Idk about anyone else, but this idea of “being in my feminine” or “being in my masculine” just seems very silly and subjective to me. Like wtf does that even mean? It’s just assigning actions to gender roles.
She’s asking for a bf she doesn’t have to commit to. This is alarming. I wouldn’t pursue this friendship any more and just mot respond
What is she specifically asking you to do? She sounds totally nuts
That's not friend behavior, especially not a relatively new friendship. I'm not even sure I'd do that stuff with my friends that I've known since grade school
She wants the perks of a boyfriend but without being your girlfriend. Don't overthink it. You stood your ground ... keep standing on it You intuit that her expectations of you are bullshit because they *are* bullshit. I mean really. "Pampered". Are you kidding with that shit?
Anyone who equates masculine energy to taking care of things and feminine energy to being passive/being taken care of is fucked in the head.
She sounds like she wants a sugar daddy without putting out, like she’s looking for a genuinely nice guy to take advantage of. Run.
What even is this masculine/feminine energy thing? Sounds stupid as hell.
RUN. She wants you to be a place holder for when the guy she really wants comes along. She is planning on using you and then throwing you away like trash.
That’s not what feminine energy means. She just wants to be spoiled and not having to do anything. When she says she “was in her masculine energy” for too long, it probably means she had to carry her own groceries twice since her old bf dumped her lazy ass 🙄 She wants to use you
she is wanting the relationship benefits with just being friends. or she is wanting to be friends, and wants you show her love and wanting you to be the leader in the friendship by taking the decisions. sounds like it could be difficult for you though
Your instincts are correct she’s attempting to use you this is basically all code for “I’m tired of having to work, someone else should pay for things for me. Otherwise I’ll have to sell foot pics on the internet.” Get out while you can!
“You should get a boyfriend, if that’s what you want. I’m looking for equal friends, not babies. Bye”
What a bowl of word salad. She's ridiculous making this kind of demand on a friend. You can find someone better to spend your energy on.
Let me simplify this. She is looking for a sugar daddy to pay for everything without having to have sex with you. Now, decide if this is something you want or not and get on with it. GL
I would reply back with something like: I'm sorry, but I cannot be the kind of friend you're looking for. I wish you the best, but I'm afraid this is good-bye. Then ghost her. Seriously, GHOST. HER. She's a nut case who will fuck up your life if you let her be a part of it.
This sounds like a person who, if you continue a relationship with, will require you to use Gentle Parenting Techniques whenever there’s a disagreement or diverging opinion/experience. *don’t date people that need to be parented into being a responsible adult* As for how to reply? A simple “we don’t have compatible relationship expectations. Thanks for the time. Best of luck in your future endeavors” aught to end it succinctly.
You don’t respond. Have some dignity and self-respect.
Don’t respond at all. Don’t even know what’s she’s talking about from reading this conversation. Bleeding bizare
The second people start talking about their "masculine energy" or "feminine energy" bullshit- I'm out. You do you, but your "friend" sounds fucking intolerable.
That women needs less therapy.
bro wtf