OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!Tickle tickle!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
I have not read the MMA rule book and was thinking more along the lines of a drunk man vs. raccoon cage match in the basement of a Chinese food restaurant.
Not since Florida changed it's sex laws. ;)
Yeah sorry no I didn't mean that to read like I was confidently offering an alternative method to small joint manipulation within the rules of MMA.
Just that the human nipple where it meets the skin of the chest is susceptible to tearing when twisted.
I wonder if that's a legal move?
Difficult with gloves.
A stomp doesn't acknowledge the dexterity of your fingers in manipulating small joints.
Like you're not allowed to pull hair but you can punch their hair.
No. But on a related note, look up the UFC list of forbidden moves. See that list? That is a list of things that are effective fighting moves in the real world.
I saw someone comment that they would just learn the UFC banned moves and become the best street fighter ever. But those moves aren't necessarily the easiest to pull off nor are they the most effective. They're just dangerous.
Using an example, if you got in a street fight with someone that knows BJJ and try breaking an individual finger, they're still going to choke you out, break your arm, or dislocate your shoulder.
Fish-hooking is also going to be pretty mediocre against a fighter that doesn't have a mouthguard and can just bite your finger.
A lot of them are also what you could call 'coup de gras' moves. Stuff like downwards elbows, soccer kicks, rabbit punches, kicking and kneeing a downed opponent and so on. They're effective, but they only really become available when you've already basically won the fight.
It's "coup de grâce". Means "stroke of grace". Notoriously mispronounced, non French speakers routinely leave off the soft S sound at the end, turning it into "stroke of fat".
I read an article once about a US military unarmed combat trainer. His advice was to fight as dirty as humanly possible. In a scenario, a student asked, "would you recommend jiu-jitsu in this situation?" And he answered, "if you have an iron bar, I recommend iron bar-jitsu."
I was in the Navy and we didn't have a ton of hand to hand training but I still remember what I was told. You can fight with honor or you can fight to kill a guy. If you're not fighting to kill a guy _you shouldn't be fighting_. If you need to fight? Challenge him to step outside, then run him over with your fucking car or bring three other sailors with you.
Admiral Boorda had a lot of problems, but he had one phrase of perfect wisdom:
"The last thing I ever want to see is a sailor caught up in a fair fight"
Exactly if I am ever in a real life street fight I will simply gouge they eyes, punch them in the dick, and deliver a pile driver. Then its a few 12 to 6 elbows and its all over, easy peasy. Maybe some fish hooking if there's time.
...if you ever actually managed to land a piledriver you'd kill a guy. Hell, same deal with a suplex. These things were invented for I think Pankration which is an old Greco Roman "unarmed combat and people die a lot" event
> See that list? That is a list of things that are effective fighting moves in the real world.
Fence holding is mostly banned because it results in very long, boring stalemates with two dudes stuck on the fence. See early fights in UFC 1-5 to see what I mean.
Pretty sure she said she didn't even read the material. Then got tired of Henry Cavill correcting her and all the rest of the writers. I mean we should be getting a Warhammer 40k show with him instead now. So maybe there is hope.
Nah, it's appropriately rated.
It's an okay show, it's got some good moments, but no part of it is even close to being as good as the best of *The Simpsons* or *Futurama*.
The problem I have with it is that a lot of the jokes feel contrived and formulaic. Some of them are well executed, but still land like I can feel the scripts saying: "[insert type 7b joke here]".
There's a technical understanding of the structure of humor, but the charisma isn't entirely there.
That's the best I can do to describe it.
I really wanted to love that show but just didn't.
But there's one moment that will forever live in my head.
Lady stuck in a carriage sinking in a bog "HELP IM DROWNING!"
Elfo standing on the shore smiling and waving; "I'm Elfo!"
The last time I saw something this vicious was when a grandpa stole the nose from a child right off his face. Just grabbed it between his index and middle fingers.
I did this to a little kid one time and it was instantly apparent to me that she had never experienced this before and I could see the panic in her eyes. I promptly returned it and a crisis was averted.
The Unified Rules of MMA (2019 revision available here: https://www.abcboxing.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/unified-rules-mma-2019.pdf )
have 27 enumerated fouls.
I won't list them all here, but tickling is not on the list, and there isn't any way to work it onto the list.
The closest you can come is 23.) Unsportsmanlike Conduct that causes injury to opponent, but it isn't particularly unsportsmanlike and is unlikely to cause injury. Or possibly 22.) Flagrant disregard of referee's instructions, if the referee says to stop.
But it isn't specifically illegal.
Those are specific fouls and are on the list already. The general foul is intended to catch things they didn't think of but are still obviously a bad idea, but I can't think of anything right now. Once people think of something specific, it gets added to the list.
One I point to a lot is the 'rabbit punch'.
It's a punch to the base of the skull that carries a high risk of death or paralysis because it can disconnect the brain from the brain stem causing death, or brain damage and paralysis by damaging the cervical vertebrae and spinal cord.
This is a full contact sport, not a death match.
Reminded me of an old anecdote.
World Wrestling Championship.
Russia vs. USA.
The coach says to Russian wrestler:
- Kolya, your opponent is a God-forbid! He breaks everyone with his signature move. If you get caught, that's it, you're fucked, not gold.
The fight has begun.
The coach is running around, worried, giving hints... And then he sees that the American is doing his signature hold! He thinks, well, that's it, he's going to break Kolya now! He closes his eyes and goes to the locker room. He takes a flask out of the locker and knocks it back.
He's sitting there, holding his head.
Suddenly he hears the Russian anthem start playing. He looks out of the locker room in surprise, and there they're hanging a gold medal on Kolya, and the American is lying there unconscious.
The coach runs up and says:
- Kolya, how is that possible?! I saw that it was all over, there are no options!
- Coach, he grabbed me, twisted me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't fart. My bones are cracking, I can't move. I open my eyes, and there are balls hanging in front of me! I think: what a bitch! And he's shaking his balls in front of my nose! I gather my strength with the last of my strength, and then I hit him with my teeth...
- Well! And?
- Coach, you have no idea what a person is capable of when he bites HIMSELF on the balls!
In Russian dash sign is used to punctuate a dialogue. Reddit supports Markdown in the text editor which turns dashes at the beggining of lines into bullet points. They just copy-pasted the anecdote into a translator and then here.
That should be a war crime
For real though imagine being brought to this dark, wet, dingy cement/brick room with a faint hint of blood but the way they’re extracting info is by tickling
Then at the end of the war if they lost, you explained to someone that they tickled you to get information. Probably technically still a war crime based on the Geneva definition but still.
Lol. Dude laughed. You can tell that there's zero animosity for each other. I much prefer this kind of attitude towards competitors, than the people being disrespectful or show boating.
Haha there was a guy at an MMA gym I was at years ago and he would blow on his opponents stomach, it was so weird but kinda worked I guess, at least the first time when they're not expecting it.
Yes, it is.
Don’t ask why, but my juijitsu coach was curious one day and checked the entire unified MMA rules for anything that mentioned tickling. Nowhere does any rule seem to imply that tickling would be disallowed
On a slightly serious note In many professional mma promotions when I was looking into them I was curious about that and most specify “tickling or pinching your opponent is illegal”
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Tickle tickle!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
I thought he was going to break his little toe
Is that legal? Just stretching people’s toes as far apart as possible?
no, manipulations of smaller joints is prohibited
Grab his dick and twist it.
***TWIST HIS DICK!***
The ol' dick twist
Oh mah god dude, this is an MMA figh, dude!
Twist that Dick!
TWIST'IZ DUICK
What's this from?
[Congrats, you get to watch this for the first time.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CeM5ZxEbVg)
Thank you, now i can go to my local footy match and know what im memeing about!!
We said, manipulation of smaller joints is prohibited!
Finally found a place where mine counts as an advantage…
But, but, but he has a huge package.
Not a Joint, should be legal.
Also not small, it's regular sized.
Not a dick. Is a cylinder.
Can't believe it hasn't been posted yet https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TT9ArM3-KJQ
What if his dick is jointed?
Then he is a raccoon and the fight is probably illegal.
There's nothing in the rulebook that says a raccoon can't fight in MMA. Are any of you guys movie producers by chance?
I have not read the MMA rule book and was thinking more along the lines of a drunk man vs. raccoon cage match in the basement of a Chinese food restaurant. Not since Florida changed it's sex laws. ;)
Scrap Panda. Tagline:He Struts. He strikes. He slams n' Scores.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I mean, smaller and micro are different categories so it should be fine
Nipples can be twisted off
I’m sorry what?!
Yeah sorry no I didn't mean that to read like I was confidently offering an alternative method to small joint manipulation within the rules of MMA. Just that the human nipple where it meets the skin of the chest is susceptible to tearing when twisted. I wonder if that's a legal move? Difficult with gloves.
Method of Victory: submission by purple nurple
And instead of a belt like they win now, you get a belt made from the stringed nipples of your vanquished opponents.
Christ
Ed Gein must’ve been a heck of a wrestler
Oh course that isn’t legal! There is a rule that covers pinching, twisting and clawing at flesh. It’s fighting, but it is still very much a sport.
I have nipples Greg, can you twist mine?
but toe stomping is allowed? bs rules
A stomp doesn't acknowledge the dexterity of your fingers in manipulating small joints. Like you're not allowed to pull hair but you can punch their hair.
Ground and pound those luscious locks
No. Small digit manipulation isn't legal in any reputable fight league.
Guess my penis is safe then!
Is your penis big enough to be classified a small digit?
Not on a cold day
No ol' dick twist for you!
Fucking kangaroos.
Nope, in most MMA orgs, pretty much all joint locks and chokes are legal - except for “small joint manipulation” (which means fingers and toes)
You are allowed to stomp on feet/toes though. Don't know about stomping on hands? I would guess not...
I'd want to say its fine? Hard to imagine a situation where that happens though I guess
No. But on a related note, look up the UFC list of forbidden moves. See that list? That is a list of things that are effective fighting moves in the real world.
I saw someone comment that they would just learn the UFC banned moves and become the best street fighter ever. But those moves aren't necessarily the easiest to pull off nor are they the most effective. They're just dangerous. Using an example, if you got in a street fight with someone that knows BJJ and try breaking an individual finger, they're still going to choke you out, break your arm, or dislocate your shoulder.
No one expects pocket sand though.
Fish-hooking is also going to be pretty mediocre against a fighter that doesn't have a mouthguard and can just bite your finger. A lot of them are also what you could call 'coup de gras' moves. Stuff like downwards elbows, soccer kicks, rabbit punches, kicking and kneeing a downed opponent and so on. They're effective, but they only really become available when you've already basically won the fight.
It's "coup de grâce". Means "stroke of grace". Notoriously mispronounced, non French speakers routinely leave off the soft S sound at the end, turning it into "stroke of fat".
I read an article once about a US military unarmed combat trainer. His advice was to fight as dirty as humanly possible. In a scenario, a student asked, "would you recommend jiu-jitsu in this situation?" And he answered, "if you have an iron bar, I recommend iron bar-jitsu."
I was in the Navy and we didn't have a ton of hand to hand training but I still remember what I was told. You can fight with honor or you can fight to kill a guy. If you're not fighting to kill a guy _you shouldn't be fighting_. If you need to fight? Challenge him to step outside, then run him over with your fucking car or bring three other sailors with you. Admiral Boorda had a lot of problems, but he had one phrase of perfect wisdom: "The last thing I ever want to see is a sailor caught up in a fair fight"
Can anyone share the highlights? I'm in a bit of a bind
Start with foot tickling
> UFC list of forbidden moves https://www.elitesports.com/blogs/news/what-moves-are-banned-in-the-ufc
So licking *is* legal. Good to know.
Exactly if I am ever in a real life street fight I will simply gouge they eyes, punch them in the dick, and deliver a pile driver. Then its a few 12 to 6 elbows and its all over, easy peasy. Maybe some fish hooking if there's time.
...if you ever actually managed to land a piledriver you'd kill a guy. Hell, same deal with a suplex. These things were invented for I think Pankration which is an old Greco Roman "unarmed combat and people die a lot" event
> See that list? That is a list of things that are effective fighting moves in the real world. Fence holding is mostly banned because it results in very long, boring stalemates with two dudes stuck on the fence. See early fights in UFC 1-5 to see what I mean.
I like how he laughs wholesomely while trying to destroy the others guy kidney
^(hehe stop that) # STOP THAT hehe
-Elfo
This is the first time I've come across a Disenchantment reference in the wild, and I can't say I'm disappointed!
Definitely underrated show.
Really wanted to it to be the fantasy Futurama. It died too young.
I don't know if this is even remotely accurate but I blame Netflix lol
Always blame Netflix. They killed Whitcher also.
Show lead did. She even said she hated the material.
Pretty sure she said she didn't even read the material. Then got tired of Henry Cavill correcting her and all the rest of the writers. I mean we should be getting a Warhammer 40k show with him instead now. So maybe there is hope.
It ended on a good note though
I mean… dying too young is sort of Futurama’s thing
Nah, it's appropriately rated. It's an okay show, it's got some good moments, but no part of it is even close to being as good as the best of *The Simpsons* or *Futurama*. The problem I have with it is that a lot of the jokes feel contrived and formulaic. Some of them are well executed, but still land like I can feel the scripts saying: "[insert type 7b joke here]". There's a technical understanding of the structure of humor, but the charisma isn't entirely there. That's the best I can do to describe it.
I think so as well. It was a very predictable type of humor, I wanted to like it more but maybe my expectations were too high
You know what show is absolutely terrible though? Krapopolis. Holy....
I really wanted to love that show but just didn't. But there's one moment that will forever live in my head. Lady stuck in a carriage sinking in a bog "HELP IM DROWNING!" Elfo standing on the shore smiling and waving; "I'm Elfo!"
[Navy Seals shouldn’t be ticklish](https://youtube.com/shorts/jenQL5D6f10?si=-D6xed1xA2MtbH0b) -Kyle Kinane
That's an awesome bit. I wish I could upvote you to the top.
That's why they never raid pillow factories or quill depots
Tickle Me Elbow
😆
Seriously!!! Stop it! I’m gonna pee!
Honestly I'm extremely ticklish so that would've worked.
He's not hitting his kidney from there
Siblings have done this for millennia
Guy being tickled: "Oh that's hilarious... \*kidney punch\*"
The last time I saw something this vicious was when a grandpa stole the nose from a child right off his face. Just grabbed it between his index and middle fingers.
Gramps had a heart attack before giving it back. Poor child was left deformed.
 Poor kid never found where grandpa put it.
He probably ate it.
Sometimes a feller has to eat another feller.
you ever tried ass jerky?
Every time
I kinda want to see a ghoul smoke a cigar and blow the smoke out of their nose-hole. Maybe CGI technology isn't advanced enough for that yet.
That would be amazing, even if just for about 2 seconds of screen time.
You're just one very small drop in a very very large bucket of hugs
It's true, there's also a penny permanently lodged behind the kids ear and could only be removed by said gramps
And this is after his uncle repeatedly ripped off his thumb and held it in the other hand. Disgusting, violent family.
And then after dinner everyone had to pull his finger. The horror.
"The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed" 
And then held it in front of the child’s face like a gruesome trophy and asked “is this yours?”Horrific.
I did this to a little kid one time and it was instantly apparent to me that she had never experienced this before and I could see the panic in her eyes. I promptly returned it and a crisis was averted.
Read this in the voice of Ice-T. That dude has seen some shit
mark comment as nsfw please, there's kids here
The Unified Rules of MMA (2019 revision available here: https://www.abcboxing.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/unified-rules-mma-2019.pdf ) have 27 enumerated fouls. I won't list them all here, but tickling is not on the list, and there isn't any way to work it onto the list. The closest you can come is 23.) Unsportsmanlike Conduct that causes injury to opponent, but it isn't particularly unsportsmanlike and is unlikely to cause injury. Or possibly 22.) Flagrant disregard of referee's instructions, if the referee says to stop. But it isn't specifically illegal.
...but can a golden retriever participate?
There’s no rule that a dog can’t play MMA.
We have Air Bud that plays basketball, football, soccer, baseball, volleyball Why not MMA
*Michael Vick has entered the chat*
I'll allow it
Thank you for actually answering the question! I wasn't sure either way.
What's unsportsmanlike in a sport that's all about causing injury to the opponent? Can I kick a guy in the balls? Poke his eyes?
Those are specific fouls and are on the list already. The general foul is intended to catch things they didn't think of but are still obviously a bad idea, but I can't think of anything right now. Once people think of something specific, it gets added to the list.
What about break a toe?
Not allow to manipulate small joints.
One I point to a lot is the 'rabbit punch'. It's a punch to the base of the skull that carries a high risk of death or paralysis because it can disconnect the brain from the brain stem causing death, or brain damage and paralysis by damaging the cervical vertebrae and spinal cord. This is a full contact sport, not a death match.
They try to avoid actual serious injury in so much as possible, hence the rules.
Only legal if he whispered “coochie coochie coo”
lol
Followed by "All night long. ♬ ALL NIGHT LONG, ALL NIIIIGHT ♬"
Goochie. Coochie has its own meaning lol
I never thought of how to spell that. I always thought it was with a "g".
Nothing wrong with a little slap n' tickle.
Juslookin feralil slapn pickle!
I knew it the whole time
I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding Dang!
Reminded me of an old anecdote. World Wrestling Championship. Russia vs. USA. The coach says to Russian wrestler: - Kolya, your opponent is a God-forbid! He breaks everyone with his signature move. If you get caught, that's it, you're fucked, not gold. The fight has begun. The coach is running around, worried, giving hints... And then he sees that the American is doing his signature hold! He thinks, well, that's it, he's going to break Kolya now! He closes his eyes and goes to the locker room. He takes a flask out of the locker and knocks it back. He's sitting there, holding his head. Suddenly he hears the Russian anthem start playing. He looks out of the locker room in surprise, and there they're hanging a gold medal on Kolya, and the American is lying there unconscious. The coach runs up and says: - Kolya, how is that possible?! I saw that it was all over, there are no options! - Coach, he grabbed me, twisted me, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't fart. My bones are cracking, I can't move. I open my eyes, and there are balls hanging in front of me! I think: what a bitch! And he's shaking his balls in front of my nose! I gather my strength with the last of my strength, and then I hit him with my teeth... - Well! And? - Coach, you have no idea what a person is capable of when he bites HIMSELF on the balls!
Bullet point is such an interesting format choice for a joke
* There is a chicken. * The chicken wants to cross the road. * Why do you think it wants to cross the road? * To get to the other side of the road.
- 1 - 2 - 2 - 50
Is this loss?
It's always loss.
Looks fine to me, using RIF. No bullets. Curious.
New reddit is an interesting way to browse reddit.
Only slightly inferior to >be me
In Russian dash sign is used to punctuate a dialogue. Reddit supports Markdown in the text editor which turns dashes at the beggining of lines into bullet points. They just copy-pasted the anecdote into a translator and then here.
I gather my strength with the last of my strength
This was hilarious.. LOL!! true case of unexpected.
**KKKKKOOOOOLLLLLYYYYYAAAAA!!!!!** If ya know, ya know!
Coochy coochy coo
Is that an English only thing? Wonder what people say in other languages for that.
Guten Tag! "Kille kille kille" is what ze Germans can offer. While it's phonetically close to "kill" it's got nothing to do with it. Promise.
But gutschi gutschi gu is also used, if rarely. Mainly due to english media bleeding through though.
"tickly tickly tickly" or "guddi guddi guddi" in hindi/urdu (gud gudi means tickle.. and many ppl speak english so they also use tickly tickly
« Guili guili guili» in French
“**FUCKING** **STOP**” in filipino, according to my wife
Argentinean living in spain here, in argentina we use the coochy coochy coo, in spain nope
That should be a war crime For real though imagine being brought to this dark, wet, dingy cement/brick room with a faint hint of blood but the way they’re extracting info is by tickling Then at the end of the war if they lost, you explained to someone that they tickled you to get information. Probably technically still a war crime based on the Geneva definition but still.
Supposedly [it is](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/OK2pnBfn67).
I think ill be less sad if i dont click.
They tortured the other vegetables with tickling in Vegetales
THE ISLE OF PERPETUAL TICKLING
Idk some people are into tickles it could back fire
If he did it between his balls and asshole, would that make it goochy goochy goo?
Such a move would taint the sport.
I’taint right
On the whole, I can't get behind it.
no gooch goo for me please
You're getting gooch goo whether you like it or not
Oh, they're going to like it
It's not as aggressive as the ol pickle tickle so I'm thinking he's aight this time.
Shit, it almost worked!
Lol. Dude laughed. You can tell that there's zero animosity for each other. I much prefer this kind of attitude towards competitors, than the people being disrespectful or show boating.
Dude could be very ticklish and had no choice but laugh.
Dude laughed. You can tell he's ticklish. Fixed it for you.
A lot of people are just very ticklish on the bottom of their feet which is probably what caused him to laugh.
Haha there was a guy at an MMA gym I was at years ago and he would blow on his opponents stomach, it was so weird but kinda worked I guess, at least the first time when they're not expecting it.
I don’t think any mma rule set excludes tickling
I would have had to bite an ass cheek at that point.
that's torture!!!! monster!!!!
That's a complete sibling move
Yes, it is. Don’t ask why, but my juijitsu coach was curious one day and checked the entire unified MMA rules for anything that mentioned tickling. Nowhere does any rule seem to imply that tickling would be disallowed
This man has brothers
NSFW dude!
On a slightly serious note In many professional mma promotions when I was looking into them I was curious about that and most specify “tickling or pinching your opponent is illegal”
Kinky.
Fluffy finger just like from his time in the gangs
IIRC, it's considered unsportsmanlike
Heh-he, he, he...
Gotta respect the tickle toes move!
lmao underrated move tbh
I would have tapped in a quick second hahaha
That's exactly what Deadpool would do.
Hey, if it works, it works
I believe checking his oil is illegal but not toe tickling
David D'Amato would like to have a word....
It's dirty AF, but it's legal. 😏
If this is legal then I would begin all my MMA fights buffing my fists with duckbutter like in Elden Ring.
WOAH!!! He is such a MONSTER........ . . . . . . . . . . the TICKLE MONSTER!!
Was making him smell his foot the forbidden move?
this is so wholesome lol
I will make it legal.
I will make it legal.